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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:24,792 Watch it! 2 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:38,931 Just like the one that got away 3 00:00:39,150 --> 00:00:41,309 So close, but yet so far 4 00:00:41,392 --> 00:00:42,810 UP THE CREEK 5 00:00:42,894 --> 00:00:45,313 I threw my hook into the water 6 00:00:45,396 --> 00:00:47,315 I nearly caught her 7 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,400 How bizarre 8 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:52,153 Now I'm up the creek 9 00:00:52,236 --> 00:00:54,720 Though I have lost a little pride 10 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:55,782 I'm up the creek 11 00:00:55,865 --> 00:00:57,575 I know that time is on my side 12 00:00:57,659 --> 00:00:59,535 I'm up the creek 13 00:00:59,619 --> 00:01:01,412 Though you have pulled the plug on me 14 00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:03,289 I'm up the creek 15 00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:05,249 There's more than one fish in the sea 16 00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:07,850 I'm not about to let it be 17 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:09,504 I know that I am up the creek 18 00:01:10,963 --> 00:01:12,382 Hey! Hey! 19 00:01:16,940 --> 00:01:19,764 The foreign legion's always there 20 00:01:20,139 --> 00:01:22,600 I need a holiday 21 00:01:23,935 --> 00:01:26,479 Daydream in the desert 22 00:01:26,562 --> 00:01:28,314 With no pressure 23 00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:33,690 That's the way 'cause I'm up the creek 24 00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:34,904 Oh, I've lost a little pride 25 00:01:34,987 --> 00:01:36,823 I'm up the creek 26 00:01:36,906 --> 00:01:38,741 I know that time is on my side 27 00:01:38,825 --> 00:01:40,535 I'm up the creek 28 00:01:40,618 --> 00:01:42,245 Though you have pulled the plug on me 29 00:01:42,328 --> 00:01:44,288 I'm up the creek 30 00:01:44,372 --> 00:01:46,165 There's more than one fish in the sea 31 00:01:46,249 --> 00:01:48,000 I'm not about to let it be 32 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:50,420 I know that I am up the creek 33 00:01:53,256 --> 00:01:55,490 I'm up the creek 34 00:01:55,133 --> 00:01:56,926 Without a paddle 35 00:01:57,900 --> 00:01:58,761 I'm up the creek 36 00:01:58,845 --> 00:02:01,139 But that don't matter at all 37 00:02:03,141 --> 00:02:05,309 Don't matter at all 38 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,897 I'm up the creek 39 00:02:09,981 --> 00:02:11,733 Without a paddle 40 00:02:11,816 --> 00:02:13,359 I'm up the creek 41 00:02:13,443 --> 00:02:16,612 But it don't matter at all 42 00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:20,575 Don't matter at all 43 00:02:22,618 --> 00:02:24,120 Oh! 44 00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,165 Hey! Hey! 45 00:02:31,878 --> 00:02:39,100 LEPETOMANE UNIVERSITY LAST CAMPUS 46 00:02:55,651 --> 00:02:59,300 LEPETOMANE SECURITY 47 00:03:18,382 --> 00:03:19,550 Excuse me, could you... 48 00:03:22,261 --> 00:03:24,222 What a big nightstick! 49 00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:47,954 Mom? No! Take me! 50 00:03:48,370 --> 00:03:50,748 It wasn't Mr. Moo-moo. Don't wake Mr. Moo-moo! 51 00:03:50,832 --> 00:03:51,958 No! 52 00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:08,724 Okay, okay. How about lunch? 53 00:04:08,808 --> 00:04:09,892 Gotta get lunch, right? 54 00:04:09,976 --> 00:04:11,435 Max, it's five in the morning! 55 00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,855 What about dinner? You gotta get hungry sometime today... 56 00:04:13,938 --> 00:04:14,981 Hello? 57 00:04:17,733 --> 00:04:19,680 Desperation's not pretty. 58 00:04:45,803 --> 00:04:46,971 Cheese! 59 00:05:05,656 --> 00:05:06,824 Hey! 60 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,754 See Jose run. 61 00:05:22,173 --> 00:05:23,925 Run, Jose, run! 62 00:05:27,511 --> 00:05:30,598 Jose has no green card. 63 00:05:43,736 --> 00:05:45,710 It was open! 64 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,281 Get out of bed, McGraw, we haven't got all day. 65 00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:49,408 The 200's out then, huh? 66 00:05:49,492 --> 00:05:51,350 I've seen your record, McGraw. 67 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:52,828 I know what kind of a guy you are, 68 00:05:52,912 --> 00:05:54,455 so don't give me an excuse to use this. 69 00:05:54,956 --> 00:05:57,233 Your mother's ugly. You're stupid. 70 00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:58,934 - Your sister makes it with... - You stinking... 71 00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:00,962 Stop it, Leslie. Get ahold of yourself! 72 00:06:01,450 --> 00:06:02,588 Don't let this jerk get to you. 73 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:04,966 Come on, I'm sorry. 74 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:06,968 Let's just forget I said anything, okay? 75 00:06:07,551 --> 00:06:09,261 Let's be pals. 76 00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:11,847 What do you say, Leslie? 77 00:06:11,931 --> 00:06:13,990 Leslie! 78 00:06:13,182 --> 00:06:14,850 Come on, let me hit him just once. 79 00:06:14,934 --> 00:06:17,603 Just one little crack on the head, that's all I'm asking. 80 00:06:17,687 --> 00:06:20,564 All right. Just a little one. But make it fast. 81 00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:23,858 Hey, don't you guys have a sense of humor? 82 00:06:30,992 --> 00:06:32,702 Get rid of the bottle, McGraw. 83 00:06:32,785 --> 00:06:35,413 Oh, Leslie. For you, anything. 84 00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:39,875 Come on. Come on. 85 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,170 Hey! 86 00:06:56,851 --> 00:06:58,477 Dean Burch. 87 00:06:59,895 --> 00:07:03,232 You've had quite a colorful career as a student, Mr. McGraw. 88 00:07:03,941 --> 00:07:06,986 You've managed to be suspended, expelled, or physically thrown out of 89 00:07:07,690 --> 00:07:09,822 16 colleges and universities throughout the country. 90 00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:14,243 You've changed your major 23 times. 91 00:07:14,744 --> 00:07:17,790 And your presence has been tied directly 92 00:07:17,163 --> 00:07:20,416 to three university presidents losing their jobs, 93 00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,502 two others being committed to sanitariums, 94 00:07:23,586 --> 00:07:26,500 and at least one known suicide. 95 00:07:27,298 --> 00:07:28,883 Have I left anything out? 96 00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:30,634 Just the good stuff. 97 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:36,724 Mr. McGraw, as you are aware, 98 00:07:36,807 --> 00:07:40,190 this university, our university 99 00:07:40,102 --> 00:07:44,273 has the reputation as the single worst educational institution in the country. 100 00:07:44,648 --> 00:07:46,150 That's because it is the worst 101 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,402 educational institution in the country, sir. 102 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,364 Do you realize that not one single student, 103 00:07:52,448 --> 00:07:55,760 including you, and them, 104 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,829 has ever won any award for anything? 105 00:07:59,371 --> 00:08:02,124 Not one ribbon, not one trophy. 106 00:08:02,708 --> 00:08:04,752 In fact, the only certifiable recognition 107 00:08:04,835 --> 00:08:07,338 that any of our alumni have ever received 108 00:08:07,421 --> 00:08:08,923 is a parole. 109 00:08:12,843 --> 00:08:16,347 Mr. McGraw, every year for the past 15 years 110 00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,474 the colleges and universities of this country 111 00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:21,769 have held an intercollegiate raft race. 112 00:08:24,355 --> 00:08:26,524 If just once we... 113 00:08:27,149 --> 00:08:28,943 I mean you 114 00:08:29,260 --> 00:08:31,862 could win this race for our school, 115 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,781 it would mean an end 116 00:08:33,864 --> 00:08:36,117 to jokes like "Lobotomy U." 117 00:08:41,872 --> 00:08:44,875 it would mean that for the first time in our history... 118 00:08:45,417 --> 00:08:49,672 Let me clarify my position, so that you can understand. 119 00:08:50,890 --> 00:08:52,591 A raft means a river, 120 00:08:52,675 --> 00:08:55,594 and a river means rapids, 121 00:08:55,678 --> 00:08:58,472 and rapids spells death. 122 00:08:58,931 --> 00:09:00,182 You got the wrong guy! 123 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,434 Not so fast, McGraw! 124 00:09:03,227 --> 00:09:04,436 Okay. 125 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:07,982 You've got the wrong guy. 126 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,317 Excuse me, Dean Burch. 127 00:09:10,401 --> 00:09:13,362 Um, I think there's another point that should be made. 128 00:09:13,445 --> 00:09:15,720 I don't need this aggravation, 129 00:09:15,156 --> 00:09:17,199 and this really doesn't sound like a lot of fun. 130 00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:18,951 I'm damned if I'll let my university 131 00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:21,453 be the laughing stock of this country any longer! 132 00:09:21,537 --> 00:09:24,373 I want a victory with a capital "V" and I want it now! 133 00:09:24,707 --> 00:09:27,209 No more excuses! No more holding back! 134 00:09:27,585 --> 00:09:30,400 That's why I picked you. And them! 135 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,214 You have the distinct honor of being 136 00:09:32,298 --> 00:09:34,925 the four worst students in the entire country. 137 00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:37,678 You are not at the bottom of the list, 138 00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,889 you are the bottom of the list! 139 00:09:40,431 --> 00:09:43,684 That's why you're going to win this race for me and Lepetomane. 140 00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:46,520 You're the only men who virtually have nothing left to lose! 141 00:09:47,146 --> 00:09:48,772 Except my temper. 142 00:09:49,398 --> 00:09:50,900 Mr. McGraw, 143 00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:53,694 I'm not asking you to do this for nothing. 144 00:09:54,236 --> 00:09:57,615 In fact, I'm prepared to make a very generous offer. 145 00:09:58,449 --> 00:10:00,201 Degrees. 146 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:02,620 For all of you. 147 00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:05,164 Degrees? 148 00:10:05,247 --> 00:10:07,374 In whatever subject you like. 149 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,251 English lit? 150 00:10:09,335 --> 00:10:10,961 If that's what you want. 151 00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:13,464 Providing, of course, that you win. 152 00:10:13,797 --> 00:10:14,882 Physics? 153 00:10:14,965 --> 00:10:17,509 Biochemistry. With a minor in art history. 154 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:19,220 Home Ec? 155 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:27,645 And what if I say no? 156 00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:31,482 I was hoping we could avoid this scene, 157 00:10:32,107 --> 00:10:34,526 but since you feel the need to test me... 158 00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:37,290 I suppose you know nothing about the student loans 159 00:10:37,112 --> 00:10:40,282 you've taken out in 35 different names. 160 00:10:40,658 --> 00:10:44,161 Or last semester's bookmaking operation in the computer center. 161 00:10:45,287 --> 00:10:47,831 You think you can blackmail me 162 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:51,850 into playing this little game of yours, don't you? 163 00:10:51,585 --> 00:10:53,504 Well, I got news for you, Mister. 164 00:10:53,837 --> 00:10:56,840 This aingt just any dumb schmo you're dealing with here, 165 00:10:57,299 --> 00:11:01,470 this is Bob McGraw. The Bob McGraw. 166 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,932 And it's gonna take men a lot bigger than you 167 00:11:05,474 --> 00:11:07,851 to make this guy play ball. 168 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:21,824 How about Poli-Sci? 169 00:11:25,744 --> 00:11:26,787 I don't believe it! 170 00:11:26,912 --> 00:11:29,390 Bob, listen to this. She dumped me! 171 00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:30,666 Aw, come on, Max. 172 00:11:30,749 --> 00:11:33,252 Bob, she said she never wants to see me again. 173 00:11:33,877 --> 00:11:35,879 Let me tell you something about women. 174 00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,632 They always say the opposite of what they mean. 175 00:11:39,910 --> 00:11:40,467 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 176 00:11:40,551 --> 00:11:42,720 "If you come within a three block radius of my house, 177 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,970 "I will have my new boyfriend Vito 178 00:11:45,180 --> 00:11:47,891 "rip off your head and spit in your neck." 179 00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:50,728 You're right, kid. You've been dumped. 180 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,813 Forget about her. Have a drink, huh? 181 00:11:52,896 --> 00:11:55,482 The bar is now open. Cocktails, anyone? 182 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:58,319 - Banana daiquiri. - Martini, straight up. 183 00:11:58,402 --> 00:12:01,113 Okay. Here you go, extra dry, just the way you like it. 184 00:12:01,196 --> 00:12:02,531 Thank you. 185 00:12:03,574 --> 00:12:05,750 How about you, big guy? 186 00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:06,368 I'm all set. 187 00:12:09,246 --> 00:12:11,874 Gonzer, do you realize what you're doing to your body? 188 00:12:12,207 --> 00:12:13,709 That stuff's gonna kill you! 189 00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,128 Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, 190 00:12:16,211 --> 00:12:18,255 but soon, and for the rest of your life. 191 00:12:18,339 --> 00:12:19,757 Gonz, your body is your temple. 192 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,134 If you don't worship it, who will? 193 00:12:22,217 --> 00:12:24,636 And, Gonz, your temple is starting to resemble the astrodome. 194 00:12:26,930 --> 00:12:29,641 Hey, Max is right. Get rid of that shit. 195 00:12:30,590 --> 00:12:31,977 Come on, Gonzer, show food who's boss. 196 00:12:32,610 --> 00:12:33,187 Throw it out the window. 197 00:12:33,270 --> 00:12:36,106 Gonzer! Gonzer! 198 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:39,777 Gonzer! Gonzer! Gonzer! 199 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:48,660 - That's the way to go! - All right, Gonz! 200 00:12:48,744 --> 00:12:50,412 What would you like to drink? 201 00:12:50,996 --> 00:12:53,123 - Let me have a Brandy Alexander. - Brandy Alexander. 202 00:12:53,624 --> 00:12:55,626 There you go. Especially for you. 203 00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,878 Gonz, you look thinner already. 204 00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:00,964 Excuse me. Excuse me. 205 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:07,429 Uh, look, Bob, I know we're not exactly the best. 206 00:13:07,513 --> 00:13:10,307 As a matter of fact, we're not even very good. 207 00:13:10,391 --> 00:13:12,267 But, uh, do you think we have a chance? 208 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,770 Everybody's got a chance, kid. 209 00:13:14,853 --> 00:13:16,688 This is America. 210 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:18,816 Let's take you, for example. 211 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:21,680 Skinny, uncoordinated, 212 00:13:21,151 --> 00:13:23,695 got a yellow streak down your back a mile wide, 213 00:13:23,779 --> 00:13:27,320 you're anemic, you dress like a creep, 214 00:13:27,116 --> 00:13:29,952 you've got the personality of a mayo and baloney on white. 215 00:13:30,869 --> 00:13:34,810 You're the kind of guy most people wouldn't give the time of day to. 216 00:13:34,873 --> 00:13:36,830 What does that mean? 217 00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:37,376 I don't know. 218 00:13:37,459 --> 00:13:38,627 - That doesn't mean... - Bob! 219 00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:39,795 ...you don't have a chance. 220 00:13:39,878 --> 00:13:40,921 Look at me! 221 00:13:44,299 --> 00:13:46,885 Gee, I never thought of it like that. 222 00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:49,120 Hey, don't mention it, kid. 223 00:13:55,185 --> 00:13:56,979 Oh, geez! 224 00:13:57,354 --> 00:13:58,480 Gonzer! 225 00:14:00,858 --> 00:14:02,234 Oh, man! 226 00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:04,194 Gonzer! 227 00:14:04,862 --> 00:14:06,905 You ought to be ashamed of yourself. 228 00:14:07,656 --> 00:14:09,320 It wasn't me, man. 229 00:14:09,992 --> 00:14:11,368 Who was it? 230 00:14:11,702 --> 00:14:13,412 - It wasn't! - Who was it? 231 00:14:13,871 --> 00:14:14,997 It was Chuck! 232 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,972 Ivy U! Ivy U! 233 00:14:44,693 --> 00:14:45,986 Roland Tozer. 234 00:14:46,690 --> 00:14:47,696 - Rex Crandall. - Rex. 235 00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:49,448 - Roger Van Dyke. - Roger. 236 00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:53,368 Men, I have a lot of race preparation to do before tomorrow morning. 237 00:14:53,452 --> 00:14:57,164 What do you say we just cut the bullshit and get down to business? 238 00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:01,100 Standard race equipment. 239 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,671 Regulation handle, stock and blade. 240 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:08,400 With the exception of a little added feature. 241 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:10,844 Which is quite effective when it comes to 242 00:15:10,928 --> 00:15:13,972 slashing the tubes of rafts without dropping a stroke. 243 00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,433 -Impressive. - Adequate. 244 00:15:16,892 --> 00:15:18,644 You haven't seen anything yet. 245 00:15:19,190 --> 00:15:21,104 The Ivy U race kit. 246 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,106 Baby! 247 00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:26,527 These ought to take care of any front runners. 248 00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:27,945 Explosives! 249 00:15:28,862 --> 00:15:30,720 Is this it? 250 00:15:30,155 --> 00:15:33,242 Not to worry. There's plenty more back at my house. 251 00:15:34,243 --> 00:15:35,994 What you cannot destroy or disable, 252 00:15:36,780 --> 00:15:38,539 I will have my referees disqualify. 253 00:15:39,456 --> 00:15:41,410 Good. Very good. 254 00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:45,462 Here it is. $5,000 in hundreds, just like you requested. 255 00:15:45,837 --> 00:15:47,422 Well, thanks. 256 00:15:47,506 --> 00:15:49,508 Would you like the trophy now, 257 00:15:49,591 --> 00:15:52,135 or do you want to wait until you actually cross the finish line? 258 00:15:52,511 --> 00:15:54,304 What, and disappoint the crowd? 259 00:15:55,764 --> 00:15:57,808 I can't wait to be standing on my deck 260 00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:00,978 watching you come around that bend. Thanks. 261 00:16:01,562 --> 00:16:03,313 Aren't you gonna count it? 262 00:16:04,523 --> 00:16:08,151 What, distrust of an alumnus? Class of '63. 263 00:16:10,529 --> 00:16:12,406 I'll see you in the winner's circle. 264 00:16:12,698 --> 00:16:14,199 Thank you, sir. 265 00:16:16,952 --> 00:16:19,204 HINEWILLE GAS - FOOD - BEER - FISHING TACKLE 266 00:16:35,178 --> 00:16:40,350 I need a shave. Bath. Cup of coffee and a good woman. 267 00:16:40,809 --> 00:16:44,210 Something told me we've come to the wrong place. 268 00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:45,147 Fill it up, Gonz. 269 00:16:49,985 --> 00:16:51,570 You got any money? 270 00:16:57,993 --> 00:16:59,536 What the hell's this? 271 00:17:04,374 --> 00:17:06,209 Will you check the oil? 272 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,670 Yes, sir. Just as soon as I'm done here. 273 00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:10,839 What the heck, I'll do that for you. 274 00:17:10,922 --> 00:17:13,175 No use you standing there holding your hose. 275 00:17:14,885 --> 00:17:16,511 Yeah. Yeah. Thanks a lot. 276 00:17:16,595 --> 00:17:19,222 Sure. That's it there. 277 00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:22,517 - Hiya. - Hi, how are ya? 278 00:17:22,601 --> 00:17:23,727 Not bad. Yourself? 279 00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,145 - Okay. - Good. 280 00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:27,606 Lots of grit. 281 00:17:27,689 --> 00:17:30,250 Yeah, they get that way, I guess. 282 00:17:34,780 --> 00:17:36,114 Looks good. 283 00:17:36,198 --> 00:17:37,824 Looks great to me. 284 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,331 Wait. Wait. Maybe you better check the battery. 285 00:17:44,414 --> 00:17:45,957 It's in here somewhere. I'm not sure where it is. 286 00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:47,209 It's over here. 287 00:17:47,292 --> 00:17:50,870 - Oh, that's a big one. - Yeah, they gotta be. 288 00:17:50,462 --> 00:17:51,505 Get up! 289 00:17:51,588 --> 00:17:53,465 You give me a hard on! 290 00:17:53,548 --> 00:17:54,591 Get up! 291 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,968 Party! 292 00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:59,721 Ivy U! Ivy U! 293 00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:27,124 Listen to this part, you guys. 294 00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:30,293 "His strong hands ran over her hardened nipples. 295 00:18:30,627 --> 00:18:32,838 "The tender touch of his glistening body 296 00:18:32,921 --> 00:18:35,966 "sent shock waves running through her naked breasts." 297 00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:38,719 I believe I've read this book before, Molly. 298 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,637 You know, I think I read it, too. 299 00:18:40,721 --> 00:18:42,970 I think it's in the next chapter 300 00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:44,975 where they start talking about his "throbbing spaceship of love." 301 00:18:45,350 --> 00:18:48,610 Is that what Rexy-poo calls it? 302 00:18:48,770 --> 00:18:50,522 Never mind, Corky. 303 00:18:52,607 --> 00:18:55,861 Look! It's Rexy and the Ivy boys. 304 00:18:55,944 --> 00:18:57,612 If it isn't the spaceship of love. 305 00:18:57,696 --> 00:18:59,990 And it's throbbing away, I'm sure. 306 00:19:00,730 --> 00:19:02,576 Can you believe it? We actually caught up with these guys! 307 00:19:02,659 --> 00:19:04,161 At 110 miles per hour, 308 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:05,746 I'm surprised we didn't run them over. 309 00:19:05,829 --> 00:19:06,872 Really! 310 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:24,598 Looks like Rex has other things on his mind besides me. 311 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:26,183 Oh! 312 00:19:26,892 --> 00:19:28,518 Fill it up, okay? 313 00:19:38,612 --> 00:19:40,947 Okay. ls there anything else? 314 00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,617 Gaskets? New upholstery? Retreads? Paint job? 315 00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:45,660 No, I think that's about it. 316 00:19:45,744 --> 00:19:47,245 I think everything's okey-dokey. 317 00:19:47,329 --> 00:19:48,413 - O key-dokey? - Yeah. 318 00:19:55,450 --> 00:19:56,463 Wait! 319 00:20:04,596 --> 00:20:05,764 Is that it? 320 00:20:05,847 --> 00:20:07,849 Well, the air cleaner. 321 00:20:08,183 --> 00:20:10,727 We've been having trouble with the suction. 322 00:20:13,605 --> 00:20:16,358 Rex, I know you're in there! Now open this door now! 323 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:19,277 Ladies! 324 00:20:19,361 --> 00:20:20,904 May I be of some assistance here? 325 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:22,197 Not unless you can open that door. 326 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,657 No problem. Hair pin? 327 00:20:24,574 --> 00:20:27,118 - Heather! - Listen, if you guys aren't busy later... 328 00:20:30,455 --> 00:20:31,873 You can't see a thing. 329 00:20:32,749 --> 00:20:34,668 Come on, Rex has got business to take care of. 330 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,509 Heather! Hi. 331 00:20:43,635 --> 00:20:46,471 Peaches! What are you doing here? 332 00:20:47,806 --> 00:20:50,225 That's it. That does it. It's over! 333 00:20:51,309 --> 00:20:52,644 Maybe dinner? Some dancing? 334 00:20:52,727 --> 00:20:53,979 You're an asshole! 335 00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:55,230 Asshole already? 336 00:20:55,313 --> 00:20:56,481 Heather, wait a minute! 337 00:20:57,315 --> 00:20:59,109 Chuck, next time don't drink out of the toilet bowl 338 00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:00,277 till I check it first, okay? 339 00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:02,821 - Heather... - Not now. 340 00:21:04,114 --> 00:21:05,323 Heather! 341 00:21:05,490 --> 00:21:06,783 I have nothing to say to you. 342 00:21:06,867 --> 00:21:08,410 I'm sure if you just took the time to get to know me 343 00:21:08,493 --> 00:21:09,995 -we could work something out. - Heather. 344 00:21:10,453 --> 00:21:12,664 I don't even want to see you again, ever. Do you understand that? 345 00:21:12,747 --> 00:21:14,820 You are nothing but a cheap, lying bastard. 346 00:21:14,165 --> 00:21:16,209 - I've had enough! - Calm down! 347 00:21:17,850 --> 00:21:18,837 Who are you? Get out of my way. 348 00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,460 No, no, no. She's right. 349 00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:22,799 You are a cheap, lying bastard and we've had enough. 350 00:21:22,883 --> 00:21:24,384 You stinking... 351 00:21:27,429 --> 00:21:29,222 I'm so sorry, Heather! I... 352 00:21:30,307 --> 00:21:31,641 Take your hands off her! 353 00:21:31,725 --> 00:21:32,976 Take your hands off of me! 354 00:21:33,590 --> 00:21:34,936 Take your hands off of her! 355 00:21:36,313 --> 00:21:38,565 If ever I can be of further assistance, 356 00:21:38,648 --> 00:21:40,275 feel free to call on me. 357 00:21:40,358 --> 00:21:42,569 Anytime, anywhere. 358 00:21:45,655 --> 00:21:47,115 Thank you. 359 00:21:52,871 --> 00:21:54,205 You son of a bitch. 360 00:21:58,668 --> 00:22:00,860 Sorry. 361 00:22:00,170 --> 00:22:02,964 You get in my way again, and you're gonna be sorry you were born. 362 00:22:03,256 --> 00:22:06,900 He knew then and there that the friendship they had had since youth 363 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,219 had died a sudden and tragic death, 364 00:22:08,303 --> 00:22:10,130 destroyed by the love of a woman. 365 00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:17,312 Heather! Cupcake, listen to me! 366 00:22:17,395 --> 00:22:18,855 Forget it, Rex! You're history! 367 00:22:20,106 --> 00:22:21,149 Shit. 368 00:22:23,735 --> 00:22:26,404 213.37 - TOTAL SALE 155.9 - GALLONS 369 00:22:26,488 --> 00:22:28,281 $213.37? 370 00:22:30,325 --> 00:22:32,160 Keep the change, pal. 371 00:22:45,256 --> 00:22:47,676 I don't think I need to remind you gentlemen 372 00:22:47,759 --> 00:22:49,719 about the importance of this race. 373 00:22:50,428 --> 00:22:52,847 I don't think I have to bore you with the fact 374 00:22:52,931 --> 00:22:55,160 that the Washington Military Institute 375 00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:58,728 has won this race for the past three years! 376 00:22:59,104 --> 00:23:01,147 I don't think I need to stress the fact 377 00:23:01,231 --> 00:23:04,192 that we will win this race at any cost, 378 00:23:04,275 --> 00:23:07,362 because a corpsman, in his heart, in his gut, 379 00:23:07,445 --> 00:23:09,239 knows no such thing as defeat! 380 00:23:10,782 --> 00:23:13,535 Victory is the only thing he'll eat. 381 00:23:14,350 --> 00:23:15,745 And he'll eat it raw! 382 00:23:16,287 --> 00:23:18,390 Will We Win? 383 00:23:18,123 --> 00:23:19,249 Yes, sir! 384 00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:21,209 Then move out! 385 00:23:21,292 --> 00:23:23,211 Detail, hut! 386 00:23:29,426 --> 00:23:31,386 All right, roll! 387 00:23:33,221 --> 00:23:34,806 You see that? 388 00:23:35,473 --> 00:23:41,210 WELCOME RIVER RACERS 389 00:23:46,276 --> 00:23:48,278 A town like any other town. 390 00:23:48,361 --> 00:23:50,613 A town with nothing to hide. 391 00:23:50,697 --> 00:23:53,199 Until they arrived. 392 00:23:53,283 --> 00:23:54,617 Okay! 393 00:23:59,390 --> 00:24:00,582 Come on, Chuck. 394 00:24:02,125 --> 00:24:03,376 Here we are. 395 00:24:04,627 --> 00:24:05,837 Ladies. 396 00:24:11,134 --> 00:24:14,679 Gonzer! Down, boy! Down, boy. Here you go. Good boy. 397 00:24:19,893 --> 00:24:21,519 Nice finger. 398 00:24:21,603 --> 00:24:23,210 I was just checking out the competition. 399 00:24:23,354 --> 00:24:24,647 Come on, Chuck! 400 00:24:26,858 --> 00:24:29,486 We're the men from WM! 401 00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:31,404 Shalom aleichem. 402 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,783 Yeah, a few more guys... 403 00:24:37,744 --> 00:24:38,787 Excuse me. 404 00:24:38,870 --> 00:24:40,914 Is that spacelab up there? 405 00:24:40,997 --> 00:24:43,410 - No, I guess not. - No. 406 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:55,530 The competition looks a little weirder than I expected. 407 00:25:01,226 --> 00:25:03,603 What's the matter, Chuck? You're not thirsty? 408 00:25:08,525 --> 00:25:11,194 Oh, it's the call, isn't it, Chuck? 409 00:25:12,821 --> 00:25:14,239 It's reaching out to you. 410 00:25:14,322 --> 00:25:15,865 It's pulling you from the gut. 411 00:25:16,740 --> 00:25:17,283 Isn't that right, boy? 412 00:25:17,659 --> 00:25:20,829 You meet me tomorrow morning, 10:00, at the portage. 413 00:25:20,912 --> 00:25:22,372 Don't be late. 414 00:25:22,455 --> 00:25:25,500 Come here, come here. Come here, slugger. 415 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,756 Don't stay up all night, and don't drink too much. 416 00:25:31,840 --> 00:25:35,635 Remember that night on the west side with that bitch, binga, binga? 417 00:25:35,718 --> 00:25:37,530 Go on, get outta here. 418 00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:41,432 Horny bastard. 419 00:25:49,650 --> 00:25:50,400 Thank you. 420 00:25:53,611 --> 00:25:54,904 Nice jugs. 421 00:26:01,244 --> 00:26:02,537 Ringside seats. 422 00:26:04,956 --> 00:26:07,830 Lively crowd, huh? 423 00:26:08,168 --> 00:26:09,794 Hey, did you order me that old fashioned? 424 00:26:09,878 --> 00:26:12,172 Oh, yeah, just the way you like it, extra bitters. 425 00:26:12,255 --> 00:26:15,258 I knew I could count on you. Here's to mediocrity. 426 00:26:15,341 --> 00:26:17,218 Mediocrity, yeah! 427 00:26:24,142 --> 00:26:25,435 Nice right cross. 428 00:26:27,854 --> 00:26:30,273 Now, there's a girl who knows how to party. 429 00:26:35,236 --> 00:26:36,696 Gonz, who ordered this? 430 00:26:36,779 --> 00:26:38,239 I'll take it. 431 00:26:41,784 --> 00:26:44,162 There's the woman-hitter and his colleagues. 432 00:26:44,245 --> 00:26:45,580 Nice hair. 433 00:26:49,792 --> 00:26:51,419 I don't think he likes you. 434 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,675 Would you look at all that beefcake. 435 00:26:58,218 --> 00:27:01,120 The odds are definitely in our favor. 436 00:27:01,950 --> 00:27:02,764 Take no prisoners. 437 00:27:07,101 --> 00:27:08,686 - Here you go, ladies. - Thanks. 438 00:27:08,770 --> 00:27:10,630 My pleasure. 439 00:27:10,438 --> 00:27:12,815 So you girls here for the big race tomorrow? 440 00:27:12,899 --> 00:27:16,110 No, actually, we're here to get laid. 441 00:27:21,282 --> 00:27:22,617 Look at that one there! 442 00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:24,577 Gonzer, that's a guy. 443 00:27:29,749 --> 00:27:31,167 Hey, can I buy you a drink, Irwin? 444 00:27:31,251 --> 00:27:32,752 No, no, I'm fine. 445 00:27:32,835 --> 00:27:34,212 Pink dress. 446 00:27:34,671 --> 00:27:36,890 Max, no! 447 00:27:36,172 --> 00:27:37,382 Come on. 448 00:27:40,677 --> 00:27:42,178 Is it slowing? 449 00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:57,402 - Way to go, Gonz! - Good job, buddy! 450 00:27:58,987 --> 00:28:02,615 Gentlemen! Soldiers, the map! Once again. 451 00:28:03,116 --> 00:28:04,242 Johnson! 452 00:28:04,325 --> 00:28:06,327 We enter left, we paddle right behind the big rock. 453 00:28:06,411 --> 00:28:08,454 Then left again past the dead tree, sir! 454 00:28:08,538 --> 00:28:09,664 Brown ! 455 00:28:09,747 --> 00:28:11,791 Hard forward till we reach the turn of the rapids, 456 00:28:11,874 --> 00:28:13,126 then hug the shore, sir. 457 00:28:13,418 --> 00:28:14,752 Lieutenant Whitney! 458 00:28:14,836 --> 00:28:16,504 Baron's rapids, head for the hole, 459 00:28:16,587 --> 00:28:19,382 do a 360 degree turn and paddle hard right, sir! 460 00:28:19,716 --> 00:28:21,384 Good. Good. 461 00:28:22,100 --> 00:28:24,220 Now it's time for night-night. 462 00:28:25,596 --> 00:28:30,476 All right, guys, there's work to be done. It's sabotage time. 463 00:28:41,237 --> 00:28:43,573 - What do you want? - Stoli with a twist. 464 00:28:46,951 --> 00:28:48,286 Thank you. 465 00:29:07,805 --> 00:29:09,150 Hey, want a little popcorn? 466 00:29:09,980 --> 00:29:11,100 Oh! Excuse me. Gosh, I spilled that. 467 00:29:11,517 --> 00:29:13,269 I'll get it. That's... 468 00:29:17,774 --> 00:29:19,233 Hey, watch it. 469 00:29:19,859 --> 00:29:21,690 Watch what? 470 00:29:21,152 --> 00:29:23,988 Watch what a fool I can make out of myself. 471 00:29:24,238 --> 00:29:25,990 Is that worth watching? 472 00:29:26,532 --> 00:29:27,867 I'm very good at it, 473 00:29:27,950 --> 00:29:31,454 especially when I'm in the company of such an attractive woman. 474 00:29:31,537 --> 00:29:33,539 Haven't we met somewhere before? 475 00:29:35,458 --> 00:29:37,100 I suppose 476 00:29:37,850 --> 00:29:39,670 next you're gonna ask me if you can buy me a drink. 477 00:29:40,460 --> 00:29:42,256 "Aha" he says to himself, 478 00:29:42,340 --> 00:29:45,968 "here is a woman who knows a come-on when she hears one. 479 00:29:46,677 --> 00:29:48,763 "He thinks he's got her where he wants her, 480 00:29:48,846 --> 00:29:50,473 "but he has to make sure." 481 00:29:51,990 --> 00:29:52,809 Can I buy you a drink? 482 00:29:53,351 --> 00:29:55,978 She refuses with a shake of her beautiful head. 483 00:29:56,620 --> 00:29:57,355 That's perfect! 484 00:29:57,438 --> 00:30:01,401 She's passed the second test, but she's not an easy mark. 485 00:30:02,276 --> 00:30:04,153 Still, he must try the last line. 486 00:30:04,821 --> 00:30:05,947 What... 487 00:30:06,300 --> 00:30:07,156 What's your major? 488 00:30:08,366 --> 00:30:09,659 Gin and tonic. 489 00:30:09,742 --> 00:30:10,993 Gin and tonic for the lady! 490 00:30:14,372 --> 00:30:16,624 Make it two, will you? Thank you, my man. 491 00:30:16,707 --> 00:30:18,501 You wanna fool around? You wanna get married? 492 00:30:18,584 --> 00:30:19,752 Want fellatio or what? 493 00:30:19,836 --> 00:30:22,505 If I'm being too forward, just tell me to back off. 494 00:30:22,588 --> 00:30:24,382 How about a name first? 495 00:30:24,465 --> 00:30:27,218 An old-fashioned girl, I like that. 496 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,110 McGraw. 497 00:30:30,555 --> 00:30:31,973 Bob McGraw. 498 00:30:33,724 --> 00:30:35,268 Rex, where you going? 499 00:30:35,351 --> 00:30:36,602 Hey, man! 500 00:30:37,687 --> 00:30:39,630 I'm Heather. 501 00:30:39,897 --> 00:30:41,691 Heather Merriweather. 502 00:30:54,454 --> 00:30:56,622 If I'm being too forward, just tell me. 503 00:30:57,373 --> 00:30:59,584 No, no, no. Not at all. 504 00:31:01,419 --> 00:31:04,505 You know, it's a little crowded in here, don't you think? 505 00:31:04,755 --> 00:31:05,965 Smoky. 506 00:31:06,507 --> 00:31:07,675 Noisy. 507 00:31:08,259 --> 00:31:09,802 Crowded. 508 00:31:10,344 --> 00:31:12,722 What do you say we go for a walk? 509 00:31:12,805 --> 00:31:14,265 To my room. 510 00:31:14,348 --> 00:31:15,683 What do you say we run? 511 00:31:17,143 --> 00:31:19,270 What do you say give me 10 minutes? 512 00:31:19,353 --> 00:31:21,230 I'm in room 27. 513 00:31:21,731 --> 00:31:23,357 Do you think you can remember that? 514 00:31:23,900 --> 00:31:26,611 I'll carve it in the back of my hand. 515 00:31:37,830 --> 00:31:40,541 I guess this means no bedtime story. 516 00:31:41,830 --> 00:31:43,336 If I'm not back in two hours, 517 00:31:43,419 --> 00:31:44,921 borrow a book. 518 00:31:45,213 --> 00:31:46,422 Book? 519 00:32:11,906 --> 00:32:14,408 You beautiful bomb. 520 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:34,387 It was a night. 521 00:32:34,470 --> 00:32:36,556 A real, wide open night 522 00:32:36,639 --> 00:32:39,600 filled with the stars of a thousand dreams. 523 00:32:40,101 --> 00:32:43,563 It was the kind of night that could only be found 524 00:32:43,646 --> 00:32:45,982 in a place called the West. 525 00:32:47,358 --> 00:32:49,819 Or maybe in a cheap spy novel. 526 00:32:50,361 --> 00:32:53,906 The kind with gorgeous, smooth-skinned women 527 00:32:53,990 --> 00:32:57,660 with accents and .45 caliber lips. 528 00:33:08,588 --> 00:33:10,840 My, how time flies. You dropped this! 529 00:33:20,391 --> 00:33:21,726 Are you all right? 530 00:33:24,270 --> 00:33:25,688 I'm gonna... 531 00:33:26,230 --> 00:33:27,815 I'm gonna get... 532 00:33:27,898 --> 00:33:29,525 I'm gonna get... 533 00:33:33,404 --> 00:33:35,906 Who's "ooh"? 534 00:33:52,673 --> 00:33:54,342 Who is it? 535 00:33:58,512 --> 00:34:00,348 - Hi. - Hi. 536 00:34:01,766 --> 00:34:03,893 Why don't you come on in and shut the door? 537 00:34:08,564 --> 00:34:09,732 Why don't you lock it? 538 00:34:14,987 --> 00:34:17,657 - Why don't you... - I think I can take it from here. 539 00:34:25,289 --> 00:34:26,749 Well... 540 00:34:26,999 --> 00:34:28,834 Here we are. 541 00:34:29,877 --> 00:34:31,379 All by ourselves. 542 00:34:31,462 --> 00:34:32,546 With the door locked. 543 00:34:33,890 --> 00:34:35,508 And me lying on the bed in a robe. 544 00:34:37,385 --> 00:34:40,638 I like a woman who's not afraid to play hard to get. 545 00:34:41,639 --> 00:34:44,141 I like a man who's not afraid to play hard. 546 00:34:48,396 --> 00:34:50,690 You know something, Bob McGraw? 547 00:34:52,316 --> 00:34:54,680 You look a little warm. 548 00:34:54,485 --> 00:34:57,905 Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? 549 00:34:58,489 --> 00:35:01,325 I didn't bring anything "more comfortable." 550 00:35:02,910 --> 00:35:04,620 Well, how about me? 551 00:35:07,540 --> 00:35:09,375 You talked me into it. 552 00:35:18,551 --> 00:35:19,885 For crying out loud. 553 00:35:19,969 --> 00:35:23,970 This is a race, not a battlefield. 554 00:35:23,514 --> 00:35:26,892 With blatant disregard for rules and regulations, 555 00:35:27,393 --> 00:35:29,895 frivolous misuse of equipment and personnel... 556 00:35:29,979 --> 00:35:32,690 Where did you learn to be a soldier, soldier? 557 00:35:32,773 --> 00:35:33,941 The institute, sir. 558 00:35:34,316 --> 00:35:35,526 Well, I hope, for your sake, 559 00:35:35,609 --> 00:35:37,319 the institute is a lenient one. 560 00:35:39,530 --> 00:35:41,824 Under the circumstances, I have no choice 561 00:35:41,907 --> 00:35:44,660 but to impound your raft and disqualify you. 562 00:35:52,501 --> 00:35:55,296 MOOSEHEAD 563 00:36:00,426 --> 00:36:02,136 - Tell me something. - What? 564 00:36:03,429 --> 00:36:06,432 Was that as good for you as it was for me? 565 00:36:06,515 --> 00:36:09,143 No. It was... 566 00:36:10,853 --> 00:36:13,522 Heather, it's Rex! Are you in there? 567 00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:15,816 - Company. How nice. - Heather! 568 00:36:15,900 --> 00:36:18,652 Rex, go away! I have nothing to say to you. 569 00:36:18,736 --> 00:36:21,280 You can just stay right here and just ignore him, okay? 570 00:36:21,363 --> 00:36:22,698 I hate to eat and run, but... 571 00:36:25,284 --> 00:36:27,787 Bob, am I ever gonna see you again? 572 00:36:28,537 --> 00:36:30,581 We are going to see each other again. 573 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:32,625 You wouldn't lie to me? 574 00:36:33,420 --> 00:36:35,440 Of course I'd lie to you, I'm a guy. 575 00:36:35,127 --> 00:36:37,400 But I'm not lying now. 576 00:36:38,339 --> 00:36:39,507 You mean it? 577 00:36:39,590 --> 00:36:40,674 Honest. 578 00:36:45,179 --> 00:36:46,972 Hey, GUYS, 579 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:49,141 it's a little early for the Easter parade, don't you think? 580 00:36:49,225 --> 00:36:51,180 Look! It's Hailey's comet! 581 00:36:52,478 --> 00:36:54,730 Bright, real bright. Bye! 582 00:37:15,376 --> 00:37:16,836 Hello, asshole. 583 00:37:17,336 --> 00:37:18,712 Oops. 584 00:37:18,796 --> 00:37:21,549 Things looked bad for McGraw. He had to think fast. 585 00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:27,179 Get him! 586 00:37:27,513 --> 00:37:29,980 Oh, shit! Hold it! 587 00:37:29,181 --> 00:37:30,683 Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Guys, guys... 588 00:37:30,766 --> 00:37:33,310 Now, I know you're wondering why I called you all here tonight, 589 00:37:33,394 --> 00:37:35,938 because I want to talk to you about herpes. 590 00:37:46,782 --> 00:37:48,909 That's the end of that chapter. 591 00:37:51,537 --> 00:37:53,330 I don't wanna die tomorrow! 592 00:37:53,414 --> 00:37:56,166 You know I hate water. It ruins a good drink. 593 00:37:56,250 --> 00:37:58,460 Oh, I'm gonna projectile vomit on everyone! 594 00:37:59,300 --> 00:38:00,462 Excuse me. 595 00:38:01,422 --> 00:38:03,700 What am I, a turnstile? 596 00:38:04,592 --> 00:38:06,930 Bay mist. 597 00:38:06,176 --> 00:38:10,306 No, it's either Misty Crevice or Savage Truth. 598 00:38:10,389 --> 00:38:12,933 No, no, Bay Mist, I'm telling you. 599 00:38:15,936 --> 00:38:17,313 Bob! 600 00:38:18,981 --> 00:38:21,250 What happened? Are you okay? 601 00:38:21,734 --> 00:38:23,193 Bob, it's us! 602 00:38:24,361 --> 00:38:27,656 Oh, boy! Am I glad to see you guys. 603 00:38:27,740 --> 00:38:30,409 This is a terrible place to spend the night alone. 604 00:38:30,492 --> 00:38:31,952 Who did it? 605 00:38:32,703 --> 00:38:34,496 They got you, too? 606 00:38:34,580 --> 00:38:36,400 Bob, how many were there? 607 00:38:36,123 --> 00:38:38,420 I didn't get all their names, 608 00:38:39,293 --> 00:38:42,546 but they all wore the same cologne. 609 00:38:46,717 --> 00:38:50,540 You know, this is gonna be a piece of fucking cake. 610 00:38:51,764 --> 00:38:55,392 Good afternoon and welcome to this year's annual collegiate 611 00:38:55,476 --> 00:38:57,311 White Water Rafting Race. 612 00:38:57,394 --> 00:39:00,940 It's a perfect day for rapid competition. 613 00:39:01,230 --> 00:39:03,817 The temperature is a comfortable 86 degrees, 614 00:39:03,901 --> 00:39:06,987 the water at a refreshing 53 degrees. 615 00:39:08,739 --> 00:39:11,408 With the disqualification of last year's winner, 616 00:39:11,492 --> 00:39:13,661 Washington Military Institute, 617 00:39:13,744 --> 00:39:15,871 we have 13 entries this year. 618 00:39:15,955 --> 00:39:19,541 Good luck to all of our participants! 619 00:39:22,544 --> 00:39:25,589 It's either lose or win 620 00:39:25,673 --> 00:39:28,676 You'll either break or bend 621 00:39:28,759 --> 00:39:31,428 Pushing it one more inch 622 00:39:31,512 --> 00:39:34,848 You better be steady, boy 623 00:39:34,932 --> 00:39:37,977 It's waiting all for you 624 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,105 Need to give all you've got 625 00:39:41,188 --> 00:39:43,649 It's time to take your shot 626 00:39:43,732 --> 00:39:46,986 You got nothing to lose 627 00:39:59,581 --> 00:40:01,500 I thought we got rid of him. 628 00:40:02,167 --> 00:40:04,420 Well, he's obviously a slow learner. 629 00:40:17,558 --> 00:40:18,934 Bob, what happened? 630 00:40:20,811 --> 00:40:22,354 Does it hurt? 631 00:40:22,938 --> 00:40:25,240 Not so much anymore, now that you're here. 632 00:40:25,274 --> 00:40:26,400 Was it that creep? 633 00:40:26,483 --> 00:40:29,153 Let's just say I slipped on a bar of soap in the shower 634 00:40:29,236 --> 00:40:30,612 as a bus ran out of control 635 00:40:30,696 --> 00:40:32,322 and crashed into the medicine cabinet. 636 00:40:32,781 --> 00:40:35,909 I'm really sorry. ls there anything I can do? 637 00:40:35,993 --> 00:40:38,203 Actually, I made a list, but, uh... 638 00:40:38,871 --> 00:40:41,457 This will have to suffice until the race is over. 639 00:40:48,964 --> 00:40:51,759 Ten minutes! Ten minutes to starting time! 640 00:40:52,217 --> 00:40:54,344 Okay, come on, guys! Where's your spirit? 641 00:40:54,595 --> 00:40:57,639 We oughta give these teams some support! 642 00:40:59,475 --> 00:41:02,102 Come on, we can't send 'em down the river with nothing. 643 00:41:02,186 --> 00:41:03,520 What do you say? 644 00:41:06,565 --> 00:41:08,233 Yeah! What do you say? 645 00:41:24,249 --> 00:41:26,335 There they are. 646 00:41:27,586 --> 00:41:31,590 All getting ready for the start of their little race. 647 00:41:32,508 --> 00:41:36,303 Does that civilian mashed potato think he can disqualify us? 648 00:41:37,429 --> 00:41:39,181 They'll see. 649 00:41:39,264 --> 00:41:41,225 They'll see! 650 00:41:41,850 --> 00:41:44,353 The race will continue for two days. 651 00:41:44,895 --> 00:41:47,606 Today you will race to this point, Beaver Flats, 652 00:41:47,689 --> 00:41:50,192 where the first five teams will pick up flags. 653 00:41:50,275 --> 00:41:53,280 And only the first five teams to pick up flags 654 00:41:53,112 --> 00:41:54,780 will be in the second day. 655 00:41:54,863 --> 00:41:56,949 And those of you who pick up flags 656 00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:58,992 will then portage to Chicken Falls 657 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:01,203 where you will spend the night and turn in your flags. 658 00:42:01,286 --> 00:42:03,872 Then tomorrow morning at 10:00, 659 00:42:03,956 --> 00:42:06,291 you will continue the race downriver. 660 00:42:06,583 --> 00:42:10,379 Now, you all come here to represent your colleges and your universities. 661 00:42:10,462 --> 00:42:13,257 You have come here to participate in an annual event 662 00:42:13,340 --> 00:42:18,530 that shows good, healthy American competition is still alive. 663 00:42:20,597 --> 00:42:21,890 Before we start the race, 664 00:42:21,974 --> 00:42:24,170 I'd like to thank you for participating, 665 00:42:24,101 --> 00:42:26,937 wish you good luck, godspeed, 666 00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:28,647 and may the best team win. 667 00:42:33,819 --> 00:42:35,320 There he is. 668 00:42:35,779 --> 00:42:38,310 There he is. 669 00:42:38,532 --> 00:42:42,369 I'm gonna get that son of a bitch if it's the last thing I ever do! 670 00:42:45,956 --> 00:42:49,420 All right. Rafters, man your paddles! 671 00:42:52,379 --> 00:42:53,672 Ready. 672 00:42:57,920 --> 00:42:58,260 Set. 673 00:43:08,729 --> 00:43:11,640 There's the gun, and they're off! 674 00:43:11,148 --> 00:43:14,359 We've got 13 rafts racing for their school's honor. 675 00:43:14,526 --> 00:43:17,279 The rivalry between Arkansas Christian State 676 00:43:17,362 --> 00:43:21,491 and St. Martings Bible College heats up once again! 677 00:43:27,414 --> 00:43:29,958 And they're hitting the water, folks! 678 00:43:30,959 --> 00:43:33,879 Oh, my, folks, this is bedlam! 679 00:43:36,506 --> 00:43:38,634 The ladies of Iowa A&M... 680 00:43:40,636 --> 00:43:42,804 Uh-oh, what's this? Oh, that's too bad, 681 00:43:42,888 --> 00:43:45,682 looks like one more faulty equipment. 682 00:43:46,183 --> 00:43:49,895 We are now down to nine rafts, just nine! 683 00:43:49,978 --> 00:43:51,521 No, Bob! 684 00:43:53,732 --> 00:43:55,400 Look, guys, please! I don't wanna die! 685 00:43:55,484 --> 00:43:58,737 I'm so young, I've got my looks, I've got my health. 686 00:43:58,820 --> 00:44:01,730 - I've got my whole life ahead of me! - To the water! 687 00:44:01,156 --> 00:44:02,950 I've got too much to live for! 688 00:44:04,201 --> 00:44:05,577 Like what? 689 00:44:05,661 --> 00:44:07,496 Like what? Like what? 690 00:44:07,579 --> 00:44:08,872 Women. 691 00:44:08,956 --> 00:44:11,833 There might be a woman out there who might want to have sex with me. 692 00:44:17,339 --> 00:44:21,134 And that's Ivy U! Yes, Ivy U, this year's favorite. 693 00:44:21,885 --> 00:44:24,221 Three, two, one! 694 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:32,200 Please don't make me do this. 695 00:44:32,104 --> 00:44:35,650 Don't make me go, all right? I'm gonna die! 696 00:44:35,148 --> 00:44:38,235 I don't wanna die! I wanna live! 697 00:44:43,730 --> 00:44:45,409 Thanks. I needed that. 698 00:44:46,493 --> 00:44:47,619 Shall we go? 699 00:44:54,918 --> 00:44:55,961 Get him out of there! 700 00:44:57,379 --> 00:44:58,672 Get in here, Shamu! 701 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,427 Hey, that's good. 702 00:45:46,386 --> 00:45:47,721 All right. 703 00:45:48,597 --> 00:45:50,265 Give me a hard left. 704 00:45:55,812 --> 00:45:58,440 Their situation seemed utterly hopeless. 705 00:45:58,523 --> 00:46:00,359 And with damn good reason. 706 00:46:14,915 --> 00:46:16,416 Yeah! All right! 707 00:46:24,591 --> 00:46:26,385 Pull! Pull! 708 00:46:29,304 --> 00:46:30,555 Come on! 709 00:47:06,508 --> 00:47:07,968 This is it, guys. 710 00:47:08,969 --> 00:47:11,638 We can do it, guys, I know we can. I can feel it. 711 00:47:11,721 --> 00:47:13,807 It's just water and rock, that's all! 712 00:47:14,474 --> 00:47:16,351 We'll show this river who's boss! 713 00:47:16,435 --> 00:47:18,610 This river will be ours! 714 00:47:23,150 --> 00:47:24,734 This is not a good sign. 715 00:47:24,818 --> 00:47:26,278 No. 716 00:47:28,530 --> 00:47:31,283 Sorry, guys, I guess I got a little carried away. 717 00:47:41,168 --> 00:47:42,669 Stop! Stop! 718 00:47:44,212 --> 00:47:46,506 Oh, my God! 719 00:48:19,998 --> 00:48:22,501 - That was great! - We did it! 720 00:48:25,300 --> 00:48:26,880 I don't believe it! 721 00:48:27,464 --> 00:48:30,509 Son of a bitch, we did it. And we're still alive! 722 00:48:30,884 --> 00:48:33,940 Un-fucking-believable! 723 00:48:33,178 --> 00:48:35,805 Wasn't bad for a bunch of losers! 724 00:48:36,181 --> 00:48:40,180 Well, you have just made it through the world's most dangerous rapid! 725 00:48:40,268 --> 00:48:42,646 And now, it's beer time! 726 00:48:44,397 --> 00:48:47,108 I risked my life, and you give me light beer? 727 00:48:47,943 --> 00:48:50,779 Lepetomane! Lepetomane! 728 00:48:50,862 --> 00:48:52,280 Lepetomane! 729 00:48:56,993 --> 00:48:58,453 Das raft! 730 00:48:58,787 --> 00:49:00,872 We toast you! 731 00:49:02,374 --> 00:49:04,584 Hey, where've you Nazis been, huh? 732 00:49:04,668 --> 00:49:06,440 Didn't you see us go through those rapids? 733 00:49:06,127 --> 00:49:07,879 You think we're kidding around here? 734 00:49:11,550 --> 00:49:12,676 Hi, boys! 735 00:49:12,759 --> 00:49:15,110 Shoot him, Rex. 736 00:49:15,637 --> 00:49:17,889 I don't like those guys. 737 00:49:19,432 --> 00:49:21,518 I warned you, you bozo! 738 00:49:27,899 --> 00:49:29,250 What the hell is that? 739 00:49:29,109 --> 00:49:31,361 Oh, they hit us with a little dart. 740 00:49:32,571 --> 00:49:34,364 Good shot, Rex, good shot. 741 00:49:34,864 --> 00:49:37,450 Bob, it's ticking. 742 00:49:46,334 --> 00:49:50,380 Five, four, three, two, one! 743 00:49:55,677 --> 00:49:57,178 Take that, suckers! 744 00:49:59,514 --> 00:50:01,725 Were those the guys that got you last night? 745 00:50:01,808 --> 00:50:03,180 How could ya tell? 746 00:50:03,101 --> 00:50:04,978 They're all wearing the same cologne. 747 00:50:06,896 --> 00:50:08,230 Come on, guys, 748 00:50:08,106 --> 00:50:09,858 let's get the hell out of Dodge! 749 00:50:16,281 --> 00:50:19,750 All right, now get that rock in the sling... 750 00:50:19,159 --> 00:50:20,660 I'm going up! 751 00:50:27,584 --> 00:50:29,850 - Push, man! - I'm pushing! 752 00:50:43,391 --> 00:50:44,476 How we doing, guys? 753 00:50:44,559 --> 00:50:45,602 Ready, Bob. 754 00:50:45,727 --> 00:50:47,312 - Okay, let's go. - Darn, it's empty. 755 00:50:48,355 --> 00:50:50,774 Bob, it's empty. 756 00:50:50,857 --> 00:50:53,193 I gotta have a drink. I don't think I can make it. 757 00:50:53,276 --> 00:50:54,402 You can do it, kid, I know you can. 758 00:50:54,486 --> 00:50:55,987 No,no,no. I don't think I can. 759 00:50:57,720 --> 00:50:58,823 You're not trying. 760 00:50:59,908 --> 00:51:01,409 Lemme give it another shot. 761 00:51:02,327 --> 00:51:03,536 I knew you could do it. 762 00:51:05,413 --> 00:51:06,623 Irwin. 763 00:51:18,885 --> 00:51:20,970 All right. Left turn! 764 00:51:22,222 --> 00:51:23,306 Forward easy! 765 00:51:35,193 --> 00:51:36,736 - Push, man! - I'm pushing! 766 00:51:38,530 --> 00:51:39,656 Now! 767 00:51:40,782 --> 00:51:41,908 - Now? - Now? 768 00:51:50,583 --> 00:51:52,877 Unidentified flying asshole. 769 00:51:57,480 --> 00:51:58,967 - Party time! - Two! Two! 770 00:52:39,591 --> 00:52:41,634 Let's move! 771 00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:47,474 BEAVER FLATS PORTAGE 772 00:52:52,187 --> 00:52:53,396 Where's Ivy U? 773 00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:55,231 Who cares, as long as they're not ahead of us! 774 00:52:55,315 --> 00:52:56,733 Let's go)! 775 00:52:59,569 --> 00:53:00,862 Grab a flag! 776 00:53:03,114 --> 00:53:04,240 Got a flag! 777 00:53:06,910 --> 00:53:08,119 - Brown. - Sir! 778 00:53:08,244 --> 00:53:09,579 - Johnson. - Sir! 779 00:53:09,662 --> 00:53:11,414 Good job, men, good job! 780 00:53:14,959 --> 00:53:16,252 Whitney. 781 00:53:17,170 --> 00:53:18,421 Soon... 782 00:53:21,883 --> 00:53:23,176 Soon. 783 00:53:41,694 --> 00:53:42,987 Look at that! 784 00:53:43,710 --> 00:53:45,198 Now, that can stop us. 785 00:53:45,573 --> 00:53:47,158 Duck! Duck! 786 00:54:01,673 --> 00:54:04,500 Say your prayers, gentlemen. 787 00:54:08,429 --> 00:54:10,557 Come on, come on! They're gonna get past! 788 00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:11,933 Now! 789 00:54:15,270 --> 00:54:16,729 It's going the wrong way! 790 00:54:22,610 --> 00:54:24,654 - Go! Go! - Move it! Move it! 791 00:54:45,675 --> 00:54:48,887 Tonight, we are gonna be in bimbette's heaven! 792 00:54:50,471 --> 00:54:52,560 Good work! 793 00:54:52,765 --> 00:54:54,309 All right, now, Rocky, 794 00:54:54,392 --> 00:54:56,352 get one flag and lose the other! 795 00:54:56,436 --> 00:54:57,770 Gotcha. 796 00:54:58,646 --> 00:55:00,189 Let's go, man. 797 00:55:00,398 --> 00:55:03,260 - One, two... - Yeah! 798 00:55:06,700 --> 00:55:07,405 Keep it up, guys- 799 00:55:07,488 --> 00:55:09,320 Keep it going. 800 00:55:09,407 --> 00:55:11,159 I know it's tough. 801 00:55:11,242 --> 00:55:12,827 And I know that you know it's tough. 802 00:55:13,453 --> 00:55:15,790 But try not to think about it. 803 00:55:15,538 --> 00:55:17,415 Think about those degrees we're gonna get 804 00:55:17,498 --> 00:55:19,417 when we win this race! 805 00:55:19,584 --> 00:55:21,461 Maybe that'll help you forget the pain. 806 00:55:25,381 --> 00:55:27,800 More likely it won't, but give it a shot. 807 00:55:30,940 --> 00:55:32,388 Your bag of goodies was a real bargain, Doctor. 808 00:55:32,472 --> 00:55:33,556 You bet your bottom dollar. 809 00:55:33,640 --> 00:55:34,766 There's only four boats left. 810 00:55:34,849 --> 00:55:37,852 I think we earned that little soiree of yours tonight. 811 00:55:38,190 --> 00:55:39,771 St. Martings, Sara Teasdale, Texas State, and us. 812 00:55:40,146 --> 00:55:41,439 And Lepetomane. 813 00:55:41,522 --> 00:55:42,982 - Lepetomane? - What? 814 00:55:43,660 --> 00:55:45,443 We took care of those remedials after the first rapids! 815 00:55:45,526 --> 00:55:47,654 Well, whoever "we" is didn't do a very thorough job, 816 00:55:47,737 --> 00:55:48,947 'cause they're still on the river. 817 00:55:49,300 --> 00:55:50,156 - What? - I don't believe it. 818 00:55:50,239 --> 00:55:52,750 I thought we nailed those Twinkies! 819 00:56:00,500 --> 00:56:03,252 Control tower to Ivy, you're cleared for takeoff. 820 00:56:05,713 --> 00:56:07,173 I love it. 821 00:56:12,387 --> 00:56:14,130 I don't like the sound of this. 822 00:56:15,264 --> 00:56:18,142 It's too quiet. 823 00:56:19,978 --> 00:56:21,813 What could it be? 824 00:56:23,231 --> 00:56:24,357 Indians! 825 00:56:28,861 --> 00:56:30,405 What the hell is that? 826 00:56:31,720 --> 00:56:32,490 Sounds like big mosquitoes. 827 00:56:41,916 --> 00:56:43,334 It's coming at us! 828 00:56:43,418 --> 00:56:44,961 Get down! 829 00:56:49,382 --> 00:56:51,920 It's coming back! 830 00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:54,303 Bob, get down! 831 00:56:55,763 --> 00:56:56,973 This is dangerous! 832 00:56:59,350 --> 00:57:01,600 How'd you like that, guys? 833 00:57:08,985 --> 00:57:11,700 This has gone far enough! 834 00:57:11,487 --> 00:57:14,907 He's right! It's gone far enough! 835 00:57:22,123 --> 00:57:24,250 Gonz! Get down! 836 00:57:31,674 --> 00:57:33,468 Abandon ship! 837 00:57:34,930 --> 00:57:35,928 - Get out! Get out! - Not again! 838 00:57:36,804 --> 00:57:38,306 Kamikaze! 839 00:57:45,855 --> 00:57:48,274 Let's see you get out of that one, you dipshit! 840 00:57:48,357 --> 00:57:49,442 Let's get out of here. 841 00:57:49,525 --> 00:57:50,777 Max! 842 00:57:52,361 --> 00:57:53,696 Hey, Max! 843 00:58:00,369 --> 00:58:02,380 I want the blond! 844 00:58:02,121 --> 00:58:03,748 - You putz! - Are those real breasts? 845 00:58:08,860 --> 00:58:09,754 I want leverage! 846 00:58:09,879 --> 00:58:14,342 Him, his doggie, one of his men, anyone! 847 00:58:14,926 --> 00:58:16,928 Reconnoiter 0600 sharp! 848 00:58:19,430 --> 00:58:21,682 Come back with a prisoner, 849 00:58:22,892 --> 00:58:24,685 or don't come back! 850 00:58:24,894 --> 00:58:26,620 Yes, sir! 851 00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:28,940 Hey, it's Chuck! 852 00:58:29,230 --> 00:58:31,317 Wow, he's got the last flag! 853 00:58:35,863 --> 00:58:37,490 What is this? An attitude? 854 00:58:39,117 --> 00:58:40,618 I'm sorry if we were a little bit late, 855 00:58:40,701 --> 00:58:42,620 we had a few problems. 856 00:58:42,829 --> 00:58:45,248 We weren't out on the town like someone I could mention. 857 00:58:45,331 --> 00:58:47,959 - Chuck, he was mugged last night! - Let him be! 858 00:58:48,420 --> 00:58:49,752 If he wants to be a complete jerk, let him. 859 00:58:49,919 --> 00:58:51,712 I don't think we need to explain to him that somebody 860 00:58:51,796 --> 00:58:55,258 tried to destroy our raft, knock us out of the race. 861 00:58:55,341 --> 00:58:57,260 No, if he's gonna get his nose bent out of shape 862 00:58:57,343 --> 00:58:59,950 over a little lost time, 863 00:58:59,178 --> 00:59:01,597 I'd rather not talk to him, either. You're a dog. 864 00:59:02,598 --> 00:59:03,683 Grab the raft. 865 00:59:08,271 --> 00:59:10,481 I suppose it doesn't make any difference that they beat up Bob? 866 00:59:11,774 --> 00:59:15,690 That's right. Pipes, bottles, chains, hitting, pain... 867 00:59:15,153 --> 00:59:17,280 There were 10 of 'em. Ten big ones. 868 00:59:17,655 --> 00:59:19,310 Maybe eleven. 869 00:59:19,115 --> 00:59:21,909 Oh, and you should've heard the names they called him. 870 00:59:24,745 --> 00:59:26,372 Sensitive dog. 871 00:59:27,874 --> 00:59:32,170 Yes, okay, okay, I forgive you. 872 00:59:32,253 --> 00:59:34,422 I know you were playing hard to get. 873 00:59:35,339 --> 00:59:37,258 Chuck, what is it? 874 00:59:37,341 --> 00:59:38,467 I smell it, too. 875 00:59:38,551 --> 00:59:40,219 It smells like... 876 00:59:40,344 --> 00:59:41,637 Cologne. 877 00:59:45,266 --> 00:59:48,978 Suddenly he knew what the night held in store for them. 878 00:59:50,620 --> 00:59:52,190 And he liked the smell of it. 879 00:59:56,444 --> 00:59:57,945 Are you okay? 880 00:59:59,530 --> 01:00:01,324 You know something? 881 01:00:01,699 --> 01:00:05,119 I really thought that McGraw had a chance. 882 01:00:05,828 --> 01:00:06,913 I mean, however slim, 883 01:00:06,996 --> 01:00:08,915 I really thought that he might make it. 884 01:00:09,749 --> 01:00:11,459 I would have liked to have seen him again. 885 01:00:11,542 --> 01:00:13,252 "Seen," young lady? 886 01:00:13,336 --> 01:00:14,670 For starters. 887 01:00:14,754 --> 01:00:16,881 You mean to tell me you're not coming? 888 01:00:17,632 --> 01:00:18,674 No. 889 01:00:18,758 --> 01:00:20,509 Okey-dokey, honey. See ya later. 890 01:00:21,260 --> 01:00:23,221 - Happy trails. - Bye-bye, hon. 891 01:00:38,694 --> 01:00:40,529 Revenge is a dish best eaten cold 892 01:00:40,613 --> 01:00:42,448 and with your hands. 893 01:00:51,499 --> 01:00:53,960 It's a little early for Christmas, isn't it? 894 01:01:23,114 --> 01:01:24,407 Tomorrow should be a breeze. 895 01:01:24,490 --> 01:01:26,409 By the time you cross that finish line, 896 01:01:26,492 --> 01:01:29,745 I'm betting that yours is the only raft on the river. 897 01:01:52,143 --> 01:01:54,103 Let's have some more champagne! 898 01:02:06,240 --> 01:02:07,533 Waiter! 899 01:02:23,758 --> 01:02:25,468 Wait a minute, I know that dog! 900 01:02:26,969 --> 01:02:28,637 I know that dog! 901 01:02:29,263 --> 01:02:30,973 Hey, what's going on? 902 01:02:31,724 --> 01:02:32,767 Wait a minute! 903 01:02:47,406 --> 01:02:48,783 Well, well, what is this? 904 01:02:48,866 --> 01:02:50,785 A meeting of the assholes of America? 905 01:02:50,951 --> 01:02:52,244 Look who's here. 906 01:02:52,328 --> 01:02:53,579 We missed you guys! 907 01:02:53,662 --> 01:02:55,247 We didn't miss you, you jerk. 908 01:02:55,331 --> 01:02:57,458 Hurry up, put that on! I haven't got all night! 909 01:02:57,541 --> 01:02:58,793 You asshole! 910 01:02:58,876 --> 01:03:00,503 Oh, excuse me. 911 01:03:19,188 --> 01:03:21,315 You wouldn't hit a lady, would you? 912 01:03:29,281 --> 01:03:30,324 Mocha. 913 01:03:37,623 --> 01:03:40,167 No,no,no,no! No. No. 914 01:03:42,211 --> 01:03:43,504 Get out, come on. 915 01:03:45,589 --> 01:03:47,299 Now I got you, you bastard. 916 01:03:49,343 --> 01:03:51,720 It's so much better this way. 917 01:03:54,723 --> 01:03:56,100 So much for the piano. 918 01:03:59,478 --> 01:04:01,147 Bob. The tub. 919 01:04:03,566 --> 01:04:04,692 Bye. 920 01:04:05,151 --> 01:04:06,694 Table for one. 921 01:04:21,417 --> 01:04:22,960 You incompetent twits! 922 01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:26,839 Let's get outta here! 923 01:04:44,899 --> 01:04:46,775 There you are. 924 01:04:47,151 --> 01:04:50,821 Bob! Where have you been? What's going on around here? 925 01:04:50,905 --> 01:04:53,115 It's such a long story. 926 01:04:54,283 --> 01:04:56,994 Gosh, is there someplace that we can talk? 927 01:05:00,122 --> 01:05:04,100 Well, is there someplace that we can pet heavily? 928 01:05:14,595 --> 01:05:15,930 Terrific! 929 01:05:16,388 --> 01:05:17,473 Look at that! 930 01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:21,685 Wait! What... 931 01:05:31,654 --> 01:05:33,239 Now, tell me, 932 01:05:34,406 --> 01:05:38,327 was it as good for you as it was for me that time? 933 01:05:40,790 --> 01:05:41,539 Not exactly. 934 01:05:42,248 --> 01:05:44,667 Bob! Irwings gone, we can't find him anywhere. 935 01:05:44,750 --> 01:05:46,627 I think something happened to him. 936 01:05:47,127 --> 01:05:48,712 Did I interrupt anything? 937 01:05:51,480 --> 01:05:52,341 Not exactly. 938 01:05:52,424 --> 01:05:54,218 Look, I'll meet you at the raft. 939 01:05:54,301 --> 01:05:55,803 Oh, Max, this is Heather. Heather, this Max. 940 01:05:55,886 --> 01:05:56,971 - Hi. - Hi. 941 01:05:58,389 --> 01:05:59,682 Pleasure to meet you. 942 01:06:00,558 --> 01:06:01,600 Do you need any help? 943 01:06:02,184 --> 01:06:04,770 No, thanks. I've been dressing myself for years. 944 01:06:04,853 --> 01:06:07,220 But I appreciate the offer. 945 01:06:11,235 --> 01:06:12,570 When this is over 946 01:06:12,653 --> 01:06:14,822 and somebody's won this damn thing, 947 01:06:14,905 --> 01:06:16,991 I'd like to think I could jump on you again sometime. 948 01:06:28,419 --> 01:06:30,713 Disqualify me, will they? 949 01:06:31,460 --> 01:06:35,920 Well, now I've got them right where I want them! 950 01:06:35,843 --> 01:06:38,762 You thought the disguise would fool me? 951 01:06:40,598 --> 01:06:43,580 They can't beat me. No! 952 01:06:43,642 --> 01:06:46,353 Because I'm the cream of the military crop, 953 01:06:46,437 --> 01:06:48,814 and I have a hostage. 954 01:06:49,607 --> 01:06:52,943 A living, human hostage! 955 01:06:53,819 --> 01:06:55,571 I can't find Irwin anywhere. 956 01:06:55,821 --> 01:06:57,720 Poor little guy. 957 01:06:57,156 --> 01:06:58,907 Hey, Gonz, don't you worry. 958 01:06:58,991 --> 01:07:01,285 We're gonna find lrwin if it takes a hundred years. 959 01:07:01,368 --> 01:07:03,454 Hey, Bob. He'll be dead by then. 960 01:07:04,288 --> 01:07:05,706 Good point. 961 01:07:06,749 --> 01:07:07,875 Wait a minute. 962 01:07:07,958 --> 01:07:10,127 Wait a minute! What about Chuck? 963 01:07:13,464 --> 01:07:14,506 Come on, Chuck. 964 01:07:14,590 --> 01:07:17,900 I know you're tired, but we need your help. 965 01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:19,762 We've got to find Irwin before it's too late! 966 01:07:19,845 --> 01:07:21,764 We'll take the water, you take the land. Whaddya say? 967 01:07:21,847 --> 01:07:22,931 Come on, Chuck, you remember Irwin. 968 01:07:23,150 --> 01:07:25,142 He's got glasses, he's skinny, he drinks a lot. 969 01:07:27,519 --> 01:07:29,855 Here, Chuck, here. Try this. 970 01:07:30,814 --> 01:07:32,691 You remember him now, don't you, Chuck? 971 01:07:34,652 --> 01:07:36,695 All right. All right, Chuck, 972 01:07:36,779 --> 01:07:39,310 there's a new collar in it for you, huh? 973 01:07:39,114 --> 01:07:41,241 Does that jar your memory? 974 01:07:42,242 --> 01:07:43,661 Okey, Okey. 975 01:07:44,203 --> 01:07:46,997 No more plain-wrap dog food. Does that ring any bells for you? 976 01:07:48,916 --> 01:07:52,336 I'll put you up for stud. But that's it, take it or leave it. 977 01:07:59,927 --> 01:08:01,950 Boy, what's the world coming to 978 01:08:01,178 --> 01:08:03,305 when you have to bribe your own dog? 979 01:08:03,389 --> 01:08:04,723 The dog's a whore, Bob. 980 01:08:04,807 --> 01:08:06,225 I trained him well. 981 01:08:08,894 --> 01:08:11,522 Nobody does that to Ivy! 982 01:08:11,605 --> 01:08:15,234 Guys, we got a race to win here, act like adults. 983 01:08:15,484 --> 01:08:17,611 I'm gonna get that weenie! 984 01:08:17,736 --> 01:08:19,613 We're gonna get that weenie! 985 01:08:19,697 --> 01:08:21,323 We're gonna win this race! 986 01:08:21,448 --> 01:08:24,118 Geez, Rex, too much caffeine making you tense? 987 01:08:24,952 --> 01:08:27,705 After last night, you wanna go again, huh? 988 01:08:27,788 --> 01:08:29,748 - That's right. - You must've liked it, huh? 989 01:08:29,832 --> 01:08:30,958 I'm ready and willing. 990 01:08:31,410 --> 01:08:33,419 - I'm always able. - All right! Nice! 991 01:08:33,502 --> 01:08:35,421 Left turn, men, we've got company! 992 01:08:35,504 --> 01:08:36,630 What? 993 01:08:40,676 --> 01:08:42,136 Check it out. 994 01:08:42,845 --> 01:08:44,596 - Hey. - The bleach boys. 995 01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:46,932 Good afternoon, ladies! 996 01:08:47,224 --> 01:08:49,268 All right, guys, listen. 997 01:08:49,393 --> 01:08:50,853 We're gonna beat 'em, and we're gonna win, 998 01:08:50,936 --> 01:08:52,896 and let's go into a hard forward. 999 01:08:54,314 --> 01:08:56,525 The instrument, maestro, if you will. 1000 01:08:56,734 --> 01:08:58,694 See ya, ladies! 1001 01:08:59,945 --> 01:09:01,697 They'll like this, won't they? 1002 01:09:01,780 --> 01:09:03,866 - What's that? - What the hell is that? 1003 01:09:03,949 --> 01:09:05,367 All right, sweetheart. 1004 01:09:08,912 --> 01:09:10,581 - It's a torpedo. - Oh, shit! 1005 01:09:18,297 --> 01:09:19,965 Good shot, Rex, good shot! 1006 01:09:20,716 --> 01:09:22,301 You jerks! 1007 01:09:27,347 --> 01:09:28,390 Adios, ladies! 1008 01:09:31,590 --> 01:09:34,313 We got those morons. So let's go get Lepetomane! 1009 01:09:35,564 --> 01:09:37,483 Well done, soldiers, well done! 1010 01:09:41,320 --> 01:09:43,280 From here, we take the island. 1011 01:09:43,363 --> 01:09:45,115 We beach the craft in the south, 1012 01:09:45,199 --> 01:09:47,242 then move to a high point above. 1013 01:09:47,326 --> 01:09:51,622 Then, we hang the bait, and wait! 1014 01:09:52,331 --> 01:09:53,957 Now move out! 1015 01:09:56,710 --> 01:09:59,129 Stroke! Stroke! 1016 01:10:00,500 --> 01:10:01,256 Stroke! 1017 01:10:01,673 --> 01:10:03,910 Stroke! 1018 01:10:06,470 --> 01:10:07,846 Johnson, 1019 01:10:08,180 --> 01:10:09,807 ready the jet. 1020 01:10:10,390 --> 01:10:11,809 Yes, sir. 1021 01:10:13,180 --> 01:10:16,563 Brown, ready the wireless control system. 1022 01:10:16,855 --> 01:10:17,898 Yes, sir. 1023 01:10:21,902 --> 01:10:23,987 It's those G.l. Joe guys! 1024 01:10:25,739 --> 01:10:26,949 - Where? - There. 1025 01:10:31,954 --> 01:10:33,497 Get back in your pouch! 1026 01:10:34,390 --> 01:10:36,708 They got lrwin! In a wet bag! 1027 01:10:38,627 --> 01:10:39,962 Come on! 1028 01:10:41,460 --> 01:10:42,840 It's toboggan time! 1029 01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:46,930 Wait a minute, Bob! Are you sure that's a good idea? 1030 01:10:46,176 --> 01:10:48,136 Nah, but at this point it's beside the point. 1031 01:10:48,220 --> 01:10:49,805 Oh, boy. 1032 01:10:50,222 --> 01:10:52,516 Forward easy. 1033 01:10:55,727 --> 01:10:57,620 Bob!No! 1034 01:10:59,523 --> 01:11:00,816 - Too fast! Too fast! - Shit! 1035 01:11:00,899 --> 01:11:05,700 No! 1036 01:11:08,615 --> 01:11:10,909 We're gonna get wet again! 1037 01:11:18,292 --> 01:11:19,877 Nice shot, Bob. 1038 01:11:19,960 --> 01:11:21,587 Come on! Irwings getting away! 1039 01:11:24,339 --> 01:11:26,884 All right, so I miscalculated. What are you gonna do, fire me? 1040 01:11:27,920 --> 01:11:28,844 I'll think about it. 1041 01:11:29,970 --> 01:11:31,430 Stroke! 1042 01:11:31,555 --> 01:11:32,806 Stroke! 1043 01:11:33,140 --> 01:11:34,182 Stroke! 1044 01:11:34,600 --> 01:11:35,767 - Stroke! - Sir! 1045 01:11:37,185 --> 01:11:38,979 The island's just up ahead, sir! 1046 01:11:39,563 --> 01:11:41,565 Good. Good. 1047 01:11:41,648 --> 01:11:43,901 I'm ready with the jet, sir. 1048 01:11:43,984 --> 01:11:47,700 Ready with the wireless control system, sir. 1049 01:11:49,907 --> 01:11:51,740 Now! 1050 01:12:05,339 --> 01:12:08,300 Victory! We are men! 1051 01:12:44,962 --> 01:12:46,630 All right, meatheads! 1052 01:12:46,713 --> 01:12:49,490 What are you sitting around for? This is no picnic! 1053 01:12:49,132 --> 01:12:50,676 Captain, we can't win. 1054 01:12:50,759 --> 01:12:52,594 We were disqualified yesterday. 1055 01:12:52,886 --> 01:12:55,389 Disqualified? We're not disqualified! 1056 01:12:55,472 --> 01:12:58,392 Not till I say we're disqualified! 1057 01:12:58,684 --> 01:13:01,603 It takes a river to win this war. 1058 01:13:03,210 --> 01:13:05,440 And there can't be a winner, 1059 01:13:05,524 --> 01:13:07,776 if there isn't a river! 1060 01:13:08,193 --> 01:13:09,319 Sir? 1061 01:13:10,278 --> 01:13:13,949 We're gonna blow the mother up! 1062 01:13:26,628 --> 01:13:28,255 All right! 1063 01:13:28,338 --> 01:13:29,631 Women! 1064 01:13:34,219 --> 01:13:35,637 What is she doing out there? 1065 01:13:36,179 --> 01:13:37,764 Getting tanned. 1066 01:13:38,473 --> 01:13:39,975 Forward easy. 1067 01:13:44,563 --> 01:13:46,314 - Are you all right? - I'm fine. 1068 01:13:47,774 --> 01:13:49,526 Let me guess what happened. 1069 01:13:50,402 --> 01:13:51,695 That good old Ivy U. 1070 01:13:51,778 --> 01:13:54,948 You didn't have to tell me, I woulda caught it. 1071 01:13:59,360 --> 01:14:01,246 Those guys almost killed us. 1072 01:14:01,580 --> 01:14:04,249 He's beginning to get a little nervy. 1073 01:14:04,332 --> 01:14:07,419 The thought of them winning this race really makes me sick. 1074 01:14:08,670 --> 01:14:10,422 It isn't over yet. 1075 01:14:10,839 --> 01:14:12,132 Well, what are we waiting for? 1076 01:14:13,675 --> 01:14:15,844 Just a few indecent thoughts. 1077 01:14:19,806 --> 01:14:21,725 Okay, I'm ready now. 1078 01:14:21,808 --> 01:14:24,853 First, we get Irwin. Then we get the trophy! 1079 01:14:24,936 --> 01:14:27,647 Hey, you guys! I'll see you later, okay? 1080 01:14:27,731 --> 01:14:29,900 Revenge! Revenge! Get 'em! 1081 01:14:32,270 --> 01:14:33,153 Forward easy! 1082 01:14:36,156 --> 01:14:39,659 Soon the river will go ka-boom! 1083 01:14:42,245 --> 01:14:45,248 A commander couldn't ask for better soldiers. 1084 01:14:57,552 --> 01:14:58,804 Well, 1085 01:14:59,429 --> 01:15:01,140 while we're waiting for your captain 1086 01:15:01,980 --> 01:15:02,974 to come to your rescue, 1087 01:15:03,580 --> 01:15:05,143 maybe I should warm up on you a little. 1088 01:15:05,227 --> 01:15:06,895 No? All right. 1089 01:15:08,647 --> 01:15:11,650 How about the old bamboo under the fingernails? 1090 01:15:12,484 --> 01:15:15,153 It's a personal favorite of mine, 1091 01:15:15,237 --> 01:15:17,489 and a nice way to loosen up, too, 1092 01:15:17,572 --> 01:15:19,533 you little schmo! 1093 01:15:24,579 --> 01:15:25,664 No! 1094 01:15:44,850 --> 01:15:48,103 Chuck, puppy! Am I glad to see you! Where the hell you been? 1095 01:15:48,270 --> 01:15:50,605 Chuck, we're in some kind of trouble, okay? 1096 01:15:50,689 --> 01:15:52,274 The guys are heading right in for a trap, 1097 01:15:52,357 --> 01:15:53,441 we gotta warn 'em, all right? 1098 01:15:53,525 --> 01:15:55,235 So get me outta here. Come on. Get me out. 1099 01:15:55,861 --> 01:15:57,696 What are you doing? No, Chuck! 1100 01:15:59,720 --> 01:16:01,366 No, don't do... Where are you going with those? 1101 01:16:01,449 --> 01:16:03,340 Don't leave me! 1102 01:16:03,368 --> 01:16:05,203 Chuck... What's that? 1103 01:16:05,453 --> 01:16:07,622 What are you doing? Don't put that on there! 1104 01:16:08,915 --> 01:16:10,458 Chuck! Where you going? 1105 01:16:11,251 --> 01:16:13,670 No! No, Chuck, no! 1106 01:16:14,450 --> 01:16:16,339 Chuck, no! Chuck... I can't... Not like... 1107 01:16:16,423 --> 01:16:18,175 This is not good, Chuck! 1108 01:16:18,258 --> 01:16:20,385 Oh, God, I'm so depressed! 1109 01:16:39,487 --> 01:16:40,780 Irwin... 1110 01:16:42,282 --> 01:16:43,742 Irwin... 1111 01:16:45,452 --> 01:16:46,912 Irwin... 1112 01:16:47,829 --> 01:16:49,164 Irwin. 1113 01:16:49,497 --> 01:16:50,874 Irwin! 1114 01:16:51,499 --> 01:16:52,876 Irwin! 1115 01:16:53,210 --> 01:16:56,546 Irwin! Irwin! 1116 01:16:56,630 --> 01:16:57,839 Irwin! 1117 01:16:58,890 --> 01:17:01,343 Irwin! lrwin! lrwin! 1118 01:17:01,426 --> 01:17:03,110 What the hell? 1119 01:17:03,345 --> 01:17:05,130 Let's wait here. 1120 01:17:05,305 --> 01:17:07,570 Irwin! Irwin! Irwin! 1121 01:17:07,140 --> 01:17:09,517 Irwin! Irwin! Irwin! 1122 01:17:13,355 --> 01:17:15,230 Hey, it's Chuck! 1123 01:17:15,106 --> 01:17:16,608 Hey! Chucker! 1124 01:17:22,720 --> 01:17:23,990 Bob, it looks like he's been drinking again. 1125 01:17:24,740 --> 01:17:25,492 No, not drinking. 1126 01:17:25,575 --> 01:17:28,119 Look! In his mouth! It's Irwings underwear. 1127 01:17:28,203 --> 01:17:29,746 No wonder he's acting like that. 1128 01:17:32,457 --> 01:17:34,209 That can only mean one thing! 1129 01:17:35,100 --> 01:17:36,544 Irwings naked. 1130 01:17:37,462 --> 01:17:38,505 Right! 1131 01:17:38,588 --> 01:17:40,590 And Chuck knows where he is! 1132 01:17:40,674 --> 01:17:42,800 Let's go)! 1133 01:17:43,385 --> 01:17:45,804 Left turn! Forward easy! 1134 01:17:46,137 --> 01:17:48,765 They're quitting! They've given up! 1135 01:17:49,933 --> 01:17:51,851 I knew they didn't have what it takes! 1136 01:17:53,603 --> 01:17:56,731 Hey! That's Lepetomane U for ya, you degenerates! 1137 01:17:56,856 --> 01:17:59,567 Good old Lobotomy U! 1138 01:18:00,193 --> 01:18:02,237 Let's move out of here. 1139 01:18:02,696 --> 01:18:05,949 Let's just kick back and coast, because the trophy is ours! 1140 01:18:07,325 --> 01:18:08,368 Scumbags! 1141 01:18:09,786 --> 01:18:11,204 Hey, Chuck! 1142 01:18:12,289 --> 01:18:15,917 It's good to see you, too, but first things first, huh? 1143 01:18:16,251 --> 01:18:18,837 Now, where is he? Where's Irwin, Chuck? 1144 01:18:20,797 --> 01:18:22,966 Oh, my God! They killed him! 1145 01:18:23,133 --> 01:18:26,177 No, they haven't killed him, but he's... He's... 1146 01:18:27,950 --> 01:18:28,763 He's lying on the ground somewhere! 1147 01:18:28,847 --> 01:18:29,973 Right, Chuck? 1148 01:18:30,560 --> 01:18:32,642 No, on the nose! 1149 01:18:32,726 --> 01:18:35,228 But where is Irwin now, Chuck? Where is he now? 1150 01:18:42,360 --> 01:18:44,362 He's trying to get into the wet bag. 1151 01:18:44,529 --> 01:18:47,991 - Wet bag, dirtbag, douchebag... - Bag lady? 1152 01:18:51,619 --> 01:18:53,371 He's got a bone... 1153 01:18:53,621 --> 01:18:55,400 Oh, my God! 1154 01:18:55,165 --> 01:18:56,791 They cut him into steaks! 1155 01:19:00,300 --> 01:19:02,547 They haven't cut him into steaks, they've, uh, uh... 1156 01:19:02,630 --> 01:19:05,508 They staked him to the ground! 1157 01:19:05,592 --> 01:19:08,345 Where is he, Chuck? Where is Irwin now? 1158 01:19:09,179 --> 01:19:10,680 Chuck, that's my jacket! 1159 01:19:10,764 --> 01:19:12,682 He's trying to tell us something! 1160 01:19:14,392 --> 01:19:16,311 They plucked him! 1161 01:19:21,149 --> 01:19:22,359 I'm trying. 1162 01:19:22,442 --> 01:19:25,403 They haven't plucked him, it's something to do with... 1163 01:19:25,487 --> 01:19:26,696 Feathers! Feathers! 1164 01:19:26,780 --> 01:19:29,199 No, those aren't feathers! That's down! 1165 01:19:29,699 --> 01:19:31,743 Down! Down! All right! 1166 01:19:31,951 --> 01:19:34,496 Down something. They've got Irwin down something. 1167 01:19:34,579 --> 01:19:36,748 Come on, Chuck, where? Give us another clue, quick! 1168 01:19:36,831 --> 01:19:37,874 Chuck, how many syllables? 1169 01:19:39,209 --> 01:19:41,252 - Two! - Two syllables! 1170 01:19:44,547 --> 01:19:47,425 God! They cut out his liver! 1171 01:19:50,261 --> 01:19:53,560 Down... Down... Down liver... Uh... 1172 01:19:53,807 --> 01:19:54,891 I've got it! 1173 01:19:54,974 --> 01:19:56,226 - What? - What? 1174 01:19:56,309 --> 01:19:58,978 "Down liver," that's Japanese for "downriver"! 1175 01:20:04,250 --> 01:20:05,276 All right, Chuck! 1176 01:20:07,278 --> 01:20:08,488 Those were great clues. 1177 01:20:08,571 --> 01:20:10,115 I thought they were kinda hard. 1178 01:20:17,380 --> 01:20:20,166 My sweet boom-boom maker. 1179 01:20:30,802 --> 01:20:32,554 Where's your doggie? 1180 01:20:32,637 --> 01:20:34,130 Look, I think there's been some mistake. 1181 01:20:34,970 --> 01:20:36,141 Where's your underwear? 1182 01:20:36,224 --> 01:20:38,184 I don't know. The dog ran off... 1183 01:20:38,268 --> 01:20:39,811 Don't wanna cooperate, huh? 1184 01:20:41,688 --> 01:20:43,273 That's okay. 1185 01:20:43,982 --> 01:20:46,151 Your time is up anyway. 1186 01:20:47,944 --> 01:20:49,654 Say VOW prayers, 1187 01:20:49,779 --> 01:20:53,241 you pinko commie slime! 1188 01:20:54,284 --> 01:20:55,493 Slime? 1189 01:20:56,286 --> 01:20:58,746 No shooting with the gun, please! 1190 01:20:58,830 --> 01:21:00,874 Oh, look, if we can talk about this... 1191 01:21:06,754 --> 01:21:08,840 Oh, hi, guys. Glad you could stop by. 1192 01:21:10,967 --> 01:21:12,677 Well, well, well. 1193 01:21:13,386 --> 01:21:15,680 You finally decided to show your face, eh? 1194 01:21:17,223 --> 01:21:19,580 Well, you walked right into my little trap, 1195 01:21:19,142 --> 01:21:21,144 and you'll never get out alive. 1196 01:21:29,444 --> 01:21:30,904 Be my guest. 1197 01:21:35,408 --> 01:21:36,951 Take my money! Anything you want! No, anything! 1198 01:21:37,350 --> 01:21:39,496 Go ahead, just ask me, I'll tell you anything! Anything! 1199 01:21:39,829 --> 01:21:41,498 I'd like to know what he did with my pants. 1200 01:21:46,794 --> 01:21:48,838 Good for you. Son of a bitch. 1201 01:21:50,215 --> 01:21:51,424 Irwin! 1202 01:21:51,925 --> 01:21:53,885 Just in time to turn me over. 1203 01:21:56,540 --> 01:21:58,723 What's he doing? He should be here by now! 1204 01:21:59,933 --> 01:22:01,142 Johnson, 1205 01:22:01,226 --> 01:22:02,685 go get Captain Braverman. 1206 01:22:02,769 --> 01:22:05,271 You go get him. I don't miss him. 1207 01:22:05,396 --> 01:22:07,524 Johnson, you see this? You know what this means? 1208 01:22:07,607 --> 01:22:11,361 Hey, you see this, sparky? You know what this means, huh? 1209 01:22:14,364 --> 01:22:15,949 What do you got there, Chuck? 1210 01:22:16,320 --> 01:22:17,492 What is that? 1211 01:22:17,575 --> 01:22:19,869 Oh, laughing gas. 1212 01:22:29,128 --> 01:22:30,964 Men? Men! 1213 01:22:33,967 --> 01:22:35,843 The enemy is upon us! 1214 01:22:37,136 --> 01:22:38,513 Charge! 1215 01:22:40,473 --> 01:22:41,641 Gosh, is he dead? 1216 01:22:41,724 --> 01:22:43,726 I sure as hell hope so. 1217 01:23:03,746 --> 01:23:05,123 That one, right there! 1218 01:23:05,206 --> 01:23:06,833 You get him, we'll take the others. 1219 01:23:18,177 --> 01:23:21,431 There's nothing like the peace and quiet of the wilderness. 1220 01:23:21,514 --> 01:23:22,599 Shall we go? 1221 01:23:22,682 --> 01:23:23,725 - I think we should. - Absolutely. 1222 01:23:26,394 --> 01:23:27,854 Hey, guys, where you been? 1223 01:23:28,187 --> 01:23:29,772 Taking care of a little unfinished business. 1224 01:23:29,856 --> 01:23:31,190 You know, returning a favor. 1225 01:23:31,274 --> 01:23:33,234 Irwin, you look good! 1226 01:23:33,318 --> 01:23:34,944 I feel good. Can't complain. 1227 01:23:35,653 --> 01:23:37,238 GUYS, guys... 1228 01:23:37,322 --> 01:23:38,740 Enough of this hearts and flowers stuff. 1229 01:23:38,823 --> 01:23:41,659 What do you say we win this race for us? 1230 01:23:45,204 --> 01:23:47,874 No, no. You dickhead. 1231 01:23:47,957 --> 01:23:51,377 You weren't supposed to get it engraved until after they cross the finish line. 1232 01:23:51,461 --> 01:23:52,545 Now hide it. 1233 01:23:57,842 --> 01:23:59,469 Five minutes, ladies and gentlemen. 1234 01:24:00,845 --> 01:24:03,806 Five minutes and counting. Any bets? 1235 01:24:08,936 --> 01:24:10,313 Keep it steady. 1236 01:24:10,396 --> 01:24:11,773 That's it. 1237 01:24:12,982 --> 01:24:16,152 You know, guys, I can see it all now. 1238 01:24:16,402 --> 01:24:17,779 All of us being carried around the square 1239 01:24:17,862 --> 01:24:19,822 on the shoulders of cheering hordes. 1240 01:24:19,906 --> 01:24:23,660 Co-eds beating down our doors, chaining themselves to our beds. 1241 01:24:24,952 --> 01:24:27,246 We're gonna get laid for six months off this one. 1242 01:24:27,538 --> 01:24:30,458 Are you kidding? We're gonna be inducted into the stud hall of fame. 1243 01:24:31,420 --> 01:24:33,200 I thought we already were. I know I am. 1244 01:24:33,127 --> 01:24:35,400 You're such an animal. 1245 01:24:35,880 --> 01:24:37,900 Come on! Forward, men, let's do it! 1246 01:24:37,632 --> 01:24:39,133 Move! Let's go. 1247 01:24:39,217 --> 01:24:40,927 Hard forward, that's it. 1248 01:24:41,100 --> 01:24:42,950 Keep it steady. 1249 01:25:09,455 --> 01:25:10,707 Powers. 1250 01:25:11,791 --> 01:25:14,627 Powers... The plunger. 1251 01:25:15,712 --> 01:25:19,507 Powers! That's an order, bean head! 1252 01:25:50,288 --> 01:25:51,873 Stroke! Stroke! 1253 01:25:51,956 --> 01:25:53,791 Come on, forward! 1254 01:25:54,250 --> 01:25:56,461 So long, jerks! 1255 01:26:12,101 --> 01:26:13,144 Go! Go! 1256 01:26:13,227 --> 01:26:14,645 Go! Go! 1257 01:26:21,277 --> 01:26:23,863 Oh, God! You give great vibes. 1258 01:26:48,429 --> 01:26:49,514 Where's the river? 1259 01:26:55,770 --> 01:26:56,938 There's the river! 1260 01:26:58,606 --> 01:26:59,774 My God! 1261 01:26:59,857 --> 01:27:02,260 Back paddle! Back paddle! 1262 01:27:36,102 --> 01:27:37,353 We did it! Come on! 1263 01:27:37,854 --> 01:27:40,273 Another victory for the Mighty Crimson! 1264 01:27:54,203 --> 01:27:55,538 Let's get out of here! 1265 01:28:01,168 --> 01:28:03,796 Oh, I think maybe your toilet's overflowing. 1266 01:29:22,875 --> 01:29:24,293 Cocktails, anyone? 1267 01:29:35,596 --> 01:29:37,932 There's Ivy! There's Ivy! 1268 01:29:41,394 --> 01:29:42,520 There's the finish line! 1269 01:29:44,438 --> 01:29:47,984 Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! 1270 01:29:57,660 --> 01:29:59,780 Come on, you guys! 1271 01:29:59,912 --> 01:30:01,372 See ya, Ivy! 1272 01:30:02,415 --> 01:30:03,958 They can't do that! 1273 01:30:04,410 --> 01:30:05,918 - That's cheating! - They can't do that! 1274 01:30:10,172 --> 01:30:11,382 Yeah! 1275 01:30:23,185 --> 01:30:25,210 Team Lepetomane! 1276 01:30:25,396 --> 01:30:26,564 We did it! 1277 01:30:30,260 --> 01:30:31,902 Congratulations. 1278 01:31:00,598 --> 01:31:01,974 Tell me, 1279 01:31:02,558 --> 01:31:04,477 was it as good for you 1280 01:31:04,643 --> 01:31:06,979 as it was for me that time? 1281 01:31:07,730 --> 01:31:09,732 - No. - No? 1282 01:31:12,777 --> 01:31:14,320 It was better. 1283 01:31:30,669 --> 01:31:31,837 Bob... 1284 01:31:32,880 --> 01:31:35,490 How big could it really be? 1285 01:31:37,927 --> 01:31:39,887 Well, let's find out. 1286 01:31:55,903 --> 01:31:58,197 I'm up the creek 1287 01:31:59,615 --> 01:32:02,201 I'm up the creek 1288 01:32:14,588 --> 01:32:18,259 Just like the one that got away 1289 01:32:18,634 --> 01:32:21,137 So close, but yet so far 1290 01:32:22,540 --> 01:32:24,807 I threw my hook into the water 1291 01:32:24,890 --> 01:32:27,560 I nearly caught her 1292 01:32:27,643 --> 01:32:29,190 How bizarre 1293 01:32:29,103 --> 01:32:31,522 Now I'm up the creek 1294 01:32:31,605 --> 01:32:33,440 Though I have lost a little pride 1295 01:32:33,524 --> 01:32:35,276 I'm up the creek 1296 01:32:35,359 --> 01:32:37,820 I know that time is on my side 1297 01:32:37,903 --> 01:32:39,196 I'm up the creek 1298 01:32:39,280 --> 01:32:41,198 Though you have pulled the plug on me 1299 01:32:41,282 --> 01:32:42,741 I'm up the creek 1300 01:32:42,825 --> 01:32:44,660 There's more than one fish in the sea 1301 01:32:44,743 --> 01:32:46,537 I'm not about to let it be 1302 01:32:46,620 --> 01:32:48,664 I know that I am up the creek 1303 01:32:50,291 --> 01:32:51,917 Hey! Hey! 1304 01:32:56,460 --> 01:32:58,924 The foreign legion's always there 1305 01:32:59,633 --> 01:33:02,136 I need a holiday 1306 01:33:03,262 --> 01:33:05,931 Daydream in the desert 1307 01:33:06,150 --> 01:33:08,434 With no pressure 1308 01:33:08,517 --> 01:33:12,396 That's the way 'cause I'm up the creek 1309 01:33:12,479 --> 01:33:14,398 Though I have lost a little drive 1310 01:33:14,481 --> 01:33:16,233 I'm up the creek 1311 01:33:16,317 --> 01:33:18,680 I know that time is on my side 1312 01:33:18,152 --> 01:33:19,904 I'm up the creek 1313 01:33:19,987 --> 01:33:21,697 Though you have pulled the plug on me 1314 01:33:21,780 --> 01:33:23,699 I'm up the creek 1315 01:33:23,782 --> 01:33:25,576 There's more than one fish in the sea 1316 01:33:25,659 --> 01:33:27,453 I'm not about to let it be 1317 01:33:27,536 --> 01:33:29,914 I know that I'm up the creek 1318 01:33:32,583 --> 01:33:34,543 I'm up the creek 1319 01:33:34,627 --> 01:33:36,253 Without a paddle 1320 01:33:36,337 --> 01:33:38,880 I'm up the creek 1321 01:33:38,172 --> 01:33:41,910 But that don't matter at all 1322 01:33:42,509 --> 01:33:46,130 No matter at all 1323 01:33:47,306 --> 01:33:49,990 I'm up the creek 1324 01:33:49,183 --> 01:33:50,893 Without a paddle 1325 01:33:50,976 --> 01:33:52,895 I'm up the creek 1326 01:33:52,978 --> 01:33:56,230 I'm learning to paddle it all 1327 01:33:57,816 --> 01:34:01,862 Paddle it all 1328 01:34:04,782 --> 01:34:06,283 Hey! Hey! 1329 01:34:10,120 --> 01:34:14,792 I'm up the creek 1330 01:34:17,461 --> 01:34:22,490 I'm up the creek 1331 01:34:24,802 --> 01:34:29,431 I'm up the creek 1332 01:34:29,515 --> 01:34:32,393 Here I go! You want to go? 1333 01:34:32,476 --> 01:34:36,772 I'm up the creek 1334 01:34:36,855 --> 01:34:39,733 Help me! Help me! Help me! 1335 01:34:39,817 --> 01:34:44,446 I'm up the creek 1336 01:34:47,157 --> 01:34:51,787 I'm up the creek 1337 01:34:51,870 --> 01:34:55,457 Watch it! Wow! 1338 01:34:58,335 --> 01:35:02,214 The foreign legion's always there 1339 01:35:02,298 --> 01:35:04,842 I need a holiday 1340 01:35:06,100 --> 01:35:08,679 Daydream in the desert 1341 01:35:08,762 --> 01:35:11,307 With no pressure 1342 01:35:11,390 --> 01:35:15,352 That's the way 'cause I'm up the creek 1343 01:35:15,436 --> 01:35:17,479 Though I have lost a little drive 1344 01:35:17,563 --> 01:35:19,231 I'm up the creek 1345 01:35:19,315 --> 01:35:21,567 I know that time is on my side 1346 01:35:21,650 --> 01:35:22,860 I'm up the creek 1347 01:35:22,943 --> 01:35:24,778 Though you have pulled the plug on me 1348 01:35:24,862 --> 01:35:26,447 I'm up the creek 1349 01:35:26,530 --> 01:35:28,324 There's more than one fish in the sea 1350 01:35:28,407 --> 01:35:30,159 I'm not about to let it be 1351 01:35:30,242 --> 01:35:32,745 I know that I'm up the creek 1352 01:35:35,372 --> 01:35:37,207 I'm up the creek 1353 01:35:37,291 --> 01:35:38,959 Without a paddle 1354 01:35:39,430 --> 01:35:40,961 I'm up the creek... 86911