Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,318 --> 00:00:02,318
(Mindy) Dating a manly
guy like Danny Castellano
2
00:00:02,319 --> 00:00:03,753
has its advantages.
3
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,821
He can cook a perfect steak
in ten minutes.
4
00:00:05,822 --> 00:00:07,323
The secret
to a great steak is,
5
00:00:07,324 --> 00:00:09,492
you got to massage
the meat for an hour.
6
00:00:09,493 --> 00:00:12,662
Vito... my butcher Vito,
not my barber Vito...
7
00:00:12,663 --> 00:00:15,498
He said, "Danny,
you got to make sure
8
00:00:15,499 --> 00:00:18,434
it's a very sensual massage."
9
00:00:18,468 --> 00:00:19,635
Dear God.
10
00:00:20,971 --> 00:00:21,971
You want another?
11
00:00:23,231 --> 00:00:24,840
Oh, that's hot.
12
00:00:26,009 --> 00:00:27,410
Mmm.
13
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,911
(Mindy)
And he's so handy,
14
00:00:28,912 --> 00:00:30,846
he can build anything.
15
00:00:30,847 --> 00:00:32,148
Done.
16
00:00:32,149 --> 00:00:34,150
Why do you need another row
of dresses in there?
17
00:00:34,151 --> 00:00:37,119
Oh, this one is
for my aspirational sizes.
18
00:00:37,154 --> 00:00:39,755
Mindy, this is
a doll's dress.
19
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:40,790
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
20
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,124
You know what else
you can drill?
21
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,125
What?
22
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,126
[Drill whirs]
23
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,294
Oh!
Oh, God!
24
00:00:45,329 --> 00:00:47,263
(Mindy)
But as great as a manly guy is,
25
00:00:47,297 --> 00:00:49,298
sometimes you need
a pinch hitter...
26
00:00:49,333 --> 00:00:51,167
A pal you take
to the Rihanna book signing
27
00:00:51,168 --> 00:00:54,170
when your boyfriend calls it
"the reason China is winning."
28
00:00:54,171 --> 00:00:56,505
You mind waiting outside
while I change?
29
00:00:56,540 --> 00:00:57,907
What? No.
I'm coming in.
30
00:00:57,908 --> 00:00:59,208
I've never been here,
and I want to Judge your taste.
31
00:00:59,243 --> 00:01:00,243
No, I don't want you
to see my apartment.
32
00:01:00,244 --> 00:01:01,244
Get out of the way.
33
00:01:01,245 --> 00:01:02,245
Take it easy!
I...
34
00:01:02,246 --> 00:01:03,246
I'm coming in!
[Glass shatters]
35
00:01:03,247 --> 00:01:04,413
Oh!
[Rock music playing]
36
00:01:04,414 --> 00:01:05,448
You're up, black man!
37
00:01:05,449 --> 00:01:06,782
5,000 bucks I hit this.
38
00:01:06,817 --> 00:01:09,919
[Glass shatters,
all cheering]
39
00:01:09,953 --> 00:01:12,622
Oh, my God.
So this is how I die.
40
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:14,957
Relax.
These are my roommates.
41
00:01:14,992 --> 00:01:16,492
Boys, this is Mindy.
42
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,694
Mindy, this is pube,
pubeless...
43
00:01:18,729 --> 00:01:20,062
And Bush.
44
00:01:20,063 --> 00:01:21,964
Bush is a Kennedy.
45
00:01:23,367 --> 00:01:24,534
All right,
I'm gonna change.
46
00:01:24,535 --> 00:01:25,535
What?
You're leaving me here?
47
00:01:25,536 --> 00:01:26,536
No, Peter!
Peter!
48
00:01:26,537 --> 00:01:27,537
Guys, be nice to her.
49
00:01:27,538 --> 00:01:29,205
She gets freaked out
easily.
50
00:01:29,239 --> 00:01:31,574
So...
You're a girl.
51
00:01:31,575 --> 00:01:32,608
That's tight.
52
00:01:32,609 --> 00:01:33,609
I am.
53
00:01:33,644 --> 00:01:35,144
I am a litigious,
gun-owning woman.
54
00:01:35,145 --> 00:01:36,612
[Laughs]
55
00:01:36,647 --> 00:01:37,647
[Dog barking]
[Gasps]
56
00:01:37,648 --> 00:01:39,115
What'd you do
to Nicole?
57
00:01:39,149 --> 00:01:41,317
Oh, we spray-painted her
for Dartmouth homecoming,
58
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,685
but at this point,
we're just leaving it
59
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:43,953
for St. Patrick's day.
60
00:01:43,987 --> 00:01:44,987
We were so drunk
that day.
61
00:01:44,988 --> 00:01:45,988
[Laughter]
62
00:01:45,989 --> 00:01:46,989
Yeah.
63
00:01:46,990 --> 00:01:48,224
Bush even made out
with his sister.
64
00:01:48,258 --> 00:01:50,092
Half sister, dude.
Mm-hmm.
65
00:01:50,093 --> 00:01:51,794
It's complicated.
66
00:01:51,828 --> 00:01:52,929
Oh!
[Chuckles]
67
00:01:52,930 --> 00:01:54,597
[Gasps]
68
00:01:54,598 --> 00:01:56,065
How'd you do that?
69
00:01:56,099 --> 00:01:57,099
Dude, come on.
Throw that one back.
70
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,334
It's too small.
71
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:00,036
It's enormous,
but it's mine, you perv.
72
00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:02,471
Peter, why do you
live here?
73
00:02:02,506 --> 00:02:04,307
'Cause a room opened up
when scrote's dad died,
74
00:02:04,308 --> 00:02:05,975
and he became
King of Kuwait.
75
00:02:06,009 --> 00:02:07,476
Oh!
76
00:02:07,511 --> 00:02:09,478
[Gasps]
77
00:02:09,513 --> 00:02:11,789
[Hip-hop music]
78
00:02:11,790 --> 00:02:14,050
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
79
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,551
(Danny)
Hey, min, what do you think
80
00:02:15,552 --> 00:02:17,753
about this listing
for my extra apartment?
81
00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:19,455
"Immaculate
pet-hater's dream.
82
00:02:19,456 --> 00:02:20,990
"A perfect place
to take your shoes off
83
00:02:20,991 --> 00:02:22,625
and not smoke."
84
00:02:22,626 --> 00:02:23,625
Hmm.
85
00:02:23,627 --> 00:02:24,861
Where are you going?
86
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,562
I am going to go do rounds
with my interns,
87
00:02:26,563 --> 00:02:28,865
and then afterwards,
I'm getting brunch with Peter.
88
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,199
You know what,
though?
89
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,567
You should come to brunch
with us.
90
00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:32,635
You'll have so much fun,
91
00:02:32,636 --> 00:02:33,769
and you never hang out
with friends.
92
00:02:33,804 --> 00:02:34,971
I don't need friends,
okay?
93
00:02:34,972 --> 00:02:36,339
I have a girlfriend.
94
00:02:36,340 --> 00:02:37,573
That's the whole point
of a relationship...
95
00:02:37,608 --> 00:02:38,841
So I always have
my little buddy
96
00:02:38,842 --> 00:02:40,843
to watch the weather channel
with me.
97
00:02:40,844 --> 00:02:43,346
And I love tracking
pollen counts with you...
98
00:02:43,347 --> 00:02:45,515
Yeah, last week,
Vermont...
99
00:02:45,516 --> 00:02:48,384
More like sneezington,
right?
100
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,417
Should we turn it on?
101
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:50,686
No, no, no,
please don't.
102
00:02:50,721 --> 00:02:51,888
So want to come
to brunch?
103
00:02:51,889 --> 00:02:53,055
Oh, I can't anyway.
104
00:02:53,056 --> 00:02:54,724
My contractor, Ray,
is coming over
105
00:02:54,725 --> 00:02:56,025
to the second apartment.
106
00:02:56,059 --> 00:02:57,260
He's gonna put
the cornucopia tile
107
00:02:57,294 --> 00:02:59,095
on the oven backsplash.
108
00:02:59,129 --> 00:03:00,429
What? Shut up!
109
00:03:00,464 --> 00:03:01,631
Today is
backsplash day?
110
00:03:01,632 --> 00:03:03,633
Yeah,
and the open house.
111
00:03:03,634 --> 00:03:04,834
Yeah, I got
to go to work.
112
00:03:04,835 --> 00:03:05,835
Okay.
113
00:03:05,836 --> 00:03:06,835
Bye.
Bye.
114
00:03:06,837 --> 00:03:07,937
(Lauren)
Thank you so much
115
00:03:07,938 --> 00:03:09,238
for watching Henry.
116
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:10,773
I have to go find
my sister
117
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:13,442
because she's following
that stupid band again.
118
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,444
Are you sure
this is okay?
119
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,444
Lauren, relax.
120
00:03:16,446 --> 00:03:18,114
Henry and I will be
totally fine.
121
00:03:18,148 --> 00:03:19,816
You just focus
on snapping your sister
122
00:03:19,817 --> 00:03:21,818
out of Kenny Chesney's
evil spell.
123
00:03:21,852 --> 00:03:24,020
It's so embarrassing
for our family.
124
00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:25,288
Thank you.
125
00:03:25,322 --> 00:03:26,956
Oh, I really
appreciate it.
126
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:27,956
I love you.
127
00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:28,958
I love you too.
128
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:29,992
If you need help,
call me.
129
00:03:30,027 --> 00:03:31,127
I won't,
but I will call you.
130
00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:32,328
Okay.
Okay.
131
00:03:32,362 --> 00:03:33,361
Uh, hey,
132
00:03:33,363 --> 00:03:34,730
couldn't help
but overhear
133
00:03:34,765 --> 00:03:36,399
you're gonna have
a kid this weekend?
134
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:37,834
Yes, Henry and I
are gonna be having
135
00:03:37,835 --> 00:03:39,302
a macho little
stag party.
136
00:03:39,336 --> 00:03:40,603
You know,
I think Lauren's
137
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:41,704
gonna be
rather impressed
138
00:03:41,705 --> 00:03:43,973
by what a Mrs. mom
I can be.
139
00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:45,341
If you need help,
I actually have been
140
00:03:45,342 --> 00:03:47,009
trying to dip my toe
into the babysitting pool.
141
00:03:47,044 --> 00:03:48,945
Okay, I deliver babies
for a living.
142
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,646
Or would you ask
your postman
143
00:03:50,681 --> 00:03:52,682
if he needed help
babysitting a letter?
144
00:03:52,683 --> 00:03:53,749
[Laughs]
145
00:03:53,784 --> 00:03:55,785
Yeah, I'm gonna
talk to my postman
146
00:03:55,786 --> 00:03:56,953
in front of my dogs.
147
00:03:56,954 --> 00:03:58,354
[Laughs]
148
00:03:58,355 --> 00:03:59,355
No way.
149
00:04:01,692 --> 00:04:03,960
Ray, great job
with the backsplash.
150
00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,394
I could taste
the bounty from here.
151
00:04:05,395 --> 00:04:06,395
(Ray)
Yeah.
152
00:04:06,396 --> 00:04:07,463
Hey, let me
ask you something.
153
00:04:07,498 --> 00:04:08,498
How much work
would it be
154
00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:10,133
to combine
my two apartments?
155
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,001
You'd just have to
knock down this wall.
156
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,002
What are you thinking?
157
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,004
I don't know.
158
00:04:14,037 --> 00:04:15,538
A little more space
down the road,
159
00:04:15,539 --> 00:04:17,140
for family.
160
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:18,274
Well, be a couple
of thousand
161
00:04:18,275 --> 00:04:19,275
if you do it
the legal way.
162
00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:20,409
A couple thousand...
163
00:04:20,444 --> 00:04:21,944
A couple of hundred
if it's just me,
164
00:04:21,945 --> 00:04:22,945
a sledgehammer,
165
00:04:22,946 --> 00:04:24,981
and a picture
of my ex-wife.
166
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,482
Now, if you want me
to make your closet
167
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:28,851
a walk-in, all I need
is a circular saw,
168
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:30,319
a picture of Rachel...
169
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:31,821
Okay, I'm gonna stop you
right there.
170
00:04:31,822 --> 00:04:33,423
Ray, you got
to get over it.
171
00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:34,457
(Mindy)
Now listen up.
172
00:04:34,458 --> 00:04:35,525
I want you to forget
173
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:36,993
everything that
you've ever learned
174
00:04:36,994 --> 00:04:38,494
about medicine,
save this:
175
00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:41,197
No matter how good
of a doctor you are,
176
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,399
a good bedside manner
will take you far.
177
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,434
Write that down.
178
00:04:44,468 --> 00:04:45,968
Yeah, but do we have time
to perform
179
00:04:45,969 --> 00:04:48,304
three Wayne's world sketches
for every patient?
180
00:04:48,338 --> 00:04:50,506
Sorry I care, gigak.
181
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,841
Now go. Party on.
182
00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,209
That's a line
from Wayne's world.
183
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:54,310
Okay,
get out of here.
184
00:04:54,311 --> 00:04:55,645
Hey, Peter!
Schwing.
185
00:04:55,679 --> 00:04:56,679
Can we get out of here?
186
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,847
I had a really rough night
last night.
187
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,082
I passed out,
and my roommates
188
00:04:59,083 --> 00:05:00,583
tried to give me
a weave.
189
00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:02,418
God, okay, Peter,
no offense,
190
00:05:02,419 --> 00:05:04,221
but your roommates
are garbage from hell.
191
00:05:04,254 --> 00:05:05,254
Yeah, I know.
192
00:05:05,255 --> 00:05:07,090
It's getting
really bad lately.
193
00:05:07,091 --> 00:05:08,124
I'm trying to date
194
00:05:08,125 --> 00:05:10,293
a more, like,
classier type of lady.
195
00:05:10,294 --> 00:05:11,961
Last week,
I brought home a lawyer.
196
00:05:11,962 --> 00:05:13,129
She got lyme disease.
197
00:05:13,130 --> 00:05:14,297
Oh, God.
198
00:05:14,298 --> 00:05:16,099
Well, why don't you just
find your own place?
199
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,734
I wish I could.
No one would rent to me.
200
00:05:17,768 --> 00:05:19,202
Oh, my God,
Peter,
201
00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:20,837
I know where
you can live.
202
00:05:22,106 --> 00:05:23,773
Ah! Ah!
Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
203
00:05:23,774 --> 00:05:25,675
Mmm.
Worth it.
204
00:05:25,709 --> 00:05:26,876
What are you doing?
205
00:05:26,877 --> 00:05:28,745
Those are
for the open house.
206
00:05:28,779 --> 00:05:30,480
Danny, I actually
canceled the open house,
207
00:05:30,481 --> 00:05:31,481
because, good news,
208
00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:32,548
I found you
the perfect tenant.
209
00:05:32,583 --> 00:05:35,085
It's perfect.
I'll take it.
210
00:05:37,002 --> 00:05:38,814
(Danny)
I can't have Peter living here.
211
00:05:38,815 --> 00:05:40,213
What if he steals
my Wi-Fi?
212
00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:41,481
(As Borat)
My Wi-Fi!
213
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,282
See, Danny,
that was hilarious.
214
00:05:43,317 --> 00:05:44,817
Big whoop.
Everybody does Borat.
215
00:05:44,818 --> 00:05:45,918
Nice. I like.
216
00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:46,952
Was that a...
217
00:05:46,954 --> 00:05:47,954
Borat.
218
00:05:47,955 --> 00:05:49,956
Oh!
That was good too!
219
00:05:49,990 --> 00:05:50,990
Thanks.
220
00:05:50,991 --> 00:05:51,991
Look, Peter is
our friend,
221
00:05:51,992 --> 00:05:53,059
and we need
to help him.
222
00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:54,093
His roommates are
bringing him down.
223
00:05:54,128 --> 00:05:55,294
This sink is amazing.
224
00:05:55,295 --> 00:05:56,963
It looks like no one's
puked in it yet.
225
00:05:56,964 --> 00:05:58,631
And I intend
to keep it that way.
226
00:05:58,665 --> 00:06:00,433
He intends
to keep it that way!
227
00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:01,467
I don't know.
228
00:06:01,502 --> 00:06:02,502
Look,
I happen to know
229
00:06:02,503 --> 00:06:03,836
he'll pay
practically anything
230
00:06:03,837 --> 00:06:04,837
for this apartment.
231
00:06:04,838 --> 00:06:06,405
Danny,
I will pay double.
232
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,507
I will pay triple!
233
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:08,875
I will pay double.
234
00:06:08,876 --> 00:06:10,443
Look, I just...
I really need some help
235
00:06:10,477 --> 00:06:12,445
finding a new, grown-up
living situation.
236
00:06:12,479 --> 00:06:15,081
Right now, I'm a grown-up
who's living like the situation.
237
00:06:15,115 --> 00:06:16,482
The situation
is a character
238
00:06:16,517 --> 00:06:18,117
on a reality show
that is...
239
00:06:18,152 --> 00:06:19,685
Fine. Fine.
240
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:20,720
[Whispering]
Yes.
241
00:06:20,721 --> 00:06:21,721
But there are rules.
242
00:06:21,722 --> 00:06:22,822
No halogens.
No hot plates.
243
00:06:22,823 --> 00:06:24,290
Use poster putty.
No posters.
244
00:06:24,324 --> 00:06:26,492
And you can't just waltz
over to my place unannounced.
245
00:06:26,493 --> 00:06:28,928
You got it?
Deal.
246
00:06:28,962 --> 00:06:31,030
Nicole, we have a home!
247
00:06:31,064 --> 00:06:32,231
Who's Nicole?
248
00:06:32,232 --> 00:06:33,232
[Dog barks
249
00:06:34,501 --> 00:06:35,501
my mini pomeranian.
250
00:06:43,143 --> 00:06:44,143
Hey, babe.
251
00:06:44,144 --> 00:06:45,478
Wow.
Smells great.
252
00:06:45,479 --> 00:06:47,647
Did you light one of your
pot-roastecandles?
253
00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:48,948
(Peter)
Oh, nope!
254
00:06:48,982 --> 00:06:50,535
This is the real thing.
255
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,052
I never knew I could cook
one of these
256
00:06:53,053 --> 00:06:54,320
without using
actual pot.
257
00:06:54,354 --> 00:06:57,023
Pete, what did I tell you
about stopping over uninvited?
258
00:06:57,057 --> 00:06:58,891
No, it's okay.
I invited him.
259
00:06:58,892 --> 00:07:00,560
He just wanted
to say thank you
260
00:07:00,561 --> 00:07:02,228
for renting out
your apartment to him.
261
00:07:02,262 --> 00:07:03,996
(Peter) Dude,
I already feel like more of an adult.
262
00:07:04,031 --> 00:07:05,698
Today I went out
and bought curtains,
263
00:07:05,699 --> 00:07:09,035
and I closed them
before I...
264
00:07:09,036 --> 00:07:10,369
Relaxed.
265
00:07:10,370 --> 00:07:12,705
See? He said "relaxed"
instead of "masturbate."
266
00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:16,509
(Danny)
Wow. That was fantastic.
267
00:07:16,543 --> 00:07:18,378
Pete, in my house,
268
00:07:18,379 --> 00:07:20,379
the chef doesn't
clean up, okay?
269
00:07:20,380 --> 00:07:22,014
Mindy, hop to.
270
00:07:22,049 --> 00:07:23,616
What?
Ow!
271
00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:25,518
Guys,
I'm actually done.
272
00:07:25,519 --> 00:07:26,686
I'm gonna
hit the hay.
273
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,388
I wish it was hay;
I'm actually just gonna sleep
274
00:07:28,389 --> 00:07:29,889
on a bunch of
crumpled newspapers.
275
00:07:29,923 --> 00:07:31,090
When I told my roommates
I was moving out,
276
00:07:31,091 --> 00:07:32,258
they stabbed
my waterbed.
277
00:07:32,259 --> 00:07:33,258
Thanks, guys.
278
00:07:33,260 --> 00:07:34,761
Sounds good, Pete.
Good night.
279
00:07:34,795 --> 00:07:36,462
What? No.
It does not sound good.
280
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:37,964
Wait, Pete, stop.
281
00:07:37,998 --> 00:07:39,332
You're not gonna
spend the night
282
00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:40,967
on some floor of an apartment
on newspaper.
283
00:07:41,001 --> 00:07:42,001
You know what?
284
00:07:42,002 --> 00:07:43,936
You can spend
the night here.
285
00:07:43,971 --> 00:07:45,438
What? Here?
He's gonna spend the night here?
286
00:07:45,472 --> 00:07:46,472
Yes.
287
00:07:47,541 --> 00:07:48,841
Okay, yeah, Pete.
288
00:07:48,842 --> 00:07:50,243
You can spend the night
on the couch.
289
00:07:50,277 --> 00:07:51,844
Okay, cool!
290
00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:52,979
[Chuckles]
291
00:07:53,013 --> 00:07:54,414
[Grunts]
292
00:07:54,448 --> 00:07:56,282
(Peter)
Hey, which channel is spike?
293
00:07:56,316 --> 00:07:59,285
(Mindy) Hey, big boy, those reading
glasses are making me horny.
294
00:07:59,319 --> 00:08:00,787
What?
Oh, no.
295
00:08:00,821 --> 00:08:01,821
We shouldn't do that
296
00:08:01,822 --> 00:08:03,056
'cause Pete's
right out there.
297
00:08:03,057 --> 00:08:04,824
I... I really don't want him
to know my noises.
298
00:08:04,825 --> 00:08:06,859
(Peter) I don't mind if you
guys need to get freaky!
299
00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:08,394
In fact, I insist!
300
00:08:08,395 --> 00:08:09,629
He insists.
Come on.
301
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:11,164
Nobody's doing anything,
Pete.
302
00:08:11,165 --> 00:08:12,231
Everybody's
going to bed.
303
00:08:12,232 --> 00:08:13,566
Good night!
304
00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:15,068
Okay, well,
I'm all wound up.
305
00:08:15,069 --> 00:08:16,135
Not sleepy at all.
306
00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:17,570
I'm gonna go watch TV
with Peter.
307
00:08:17,604 --> 00:08:20,006
Peter, stay up!
We're watching TV!
308
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:21,941
(Peter) Aw, yeah,
get that butt out here
309
00:08:21,942 --> 00:08:22,942
and watch TV with me,
girl.
310
00:08:22,943 --> 00:08:24,677
[TV clicks on]
311
00:08:24,678 --> 00:08:26,512
(Woman on TV) I'm not gonna
let chantel ruin my vacation.
312
00:08:26,513 --> 00:08:27,947
(Peter)
Oh, this is that reality show
313
00:08:27,948 --> 00:08:30,116
about the black beauty shop
that's on a boat.
314
00:08:30,117 --> 00:08:32,018
Can you turn it down,
please?
315
00:08:32,019 --> 00:08:33,486
(Man on TV) Or I'm gonna
pull that weave out!
316
00:08:33,487 --> 00:08:34,486
Mindy?
317
00:08:34,488 --> 00:08:35,555
(Jeremy)
Okay, why don't
318
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:36,889
I sing you a British lullaby,
hmm?
319
00:08:36,924 --> 00:08:39,959
Go to sleep,
little babe
320
00:08:39,993 --> 00:08:43,196
Or the bog-man
will slice your tongue out
321
00:08:43,197 --> 00:08:44,196
Please.
322
00:08:44,198 --> 00:08:45,198
[Henry crying]
323
00:08:45,199 --> 00:08:47,100
I'm so tired!
324
00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:48,134
Hey!
325
00:08:48,135 --> 00:08:49,135
Oh, my God!
Stay back!
326
00:08:49,136 --> 00:08:50,136
Whoa!
327
00:08:50,137 --> 00:08:51,838
What are you doing here,
Morgan?
328
00:08:51,839 --> 00:08:53,006
Okay, I knew
you would need my help,
329
00:08:53,007 --> 00:08:54,674
whether or not
you admitted it, all right?
330
00:08:54,675 --> 00:08:55,908
And rule number one
with a baby:
331
00:08:55,909 --> 00:08:57,410
Don't use it
as a human shield.
332
00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:58,678
Oh, my God.
333
00:08:58,712 --> 00:08:59,879
Truth be told,
Morgan,
334
00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:01,314
I'm doing a bit
of a botch job.
335
00:09:01,348 --> 00:09:03,182
Oh, God, he's crying
more than mother
336
00:09:03,183 --> 00:09:04,517
when we sold
wormwood manor
337
00:09:04,518 --> 00:09:05,618
to the saudis.
338
00:09:05,652 --> 00:09:06,819
I don't know
what that means.
339
00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:08,021
Do you know what?
I give up. I give up.
340
00:09:08,055 --> 00:09:09,222
Please, just...
Just... just hold him.
341
00:09:09,223 --> 00:09:10,390
Just hold him.
It's okay.
342
00:09:10,391 --> 00:09:11,891
Okay, come here.
It's okay.
343
00:09:11,892 --> 00:09:14,427
Come here.
Yeah.
344
00:09:14,461 --> 00:09:16,429
[Crying stops]
345
00:09:16,463 --> 00:09:18,064
Did he just
stop crying?
346
00:09:19,133 --> 00:09:20,800
He hates me.
No.
347
00:09:20,801 --> 00:09:22,301
Yeah, like
everybody hates me.
348
00:09:22,302 --> 00:09:23,469
Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
349
00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:25,638
He's just remembering
how great it was
350
00:09:25,639 --> 00:09:26,939
when you were
holding him,
351
00:09:26,974 --> 00:09:28,541
and that's why
he stopped crying.
352
00:09:28,575 --> 00:09:29,575
You think so?
353
00:09:29,576 --> 00:09:30,910
Yes, I do.
Here. Try it again.
354
00:09:30,911 --> 00:09:33,079
Come here. Come here.
Oh, here you go.
355
00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:34,247
[Henry crying]
356
00:09:34,248 --> 00:09:36,182
You're a liar!
You're both liars!
357
00:09:36,216 --> 00:09:38,484
(Danny)
Hey, babe, I'm home.
358
00:09:38,519 --> 00:09:39,986
[Seals and crofts'
summer breeze playing]
359
00:09:40,020 --> 00:09:42,855
Seals and crofts...
360
00:09:42,856 --> 00:09:44,257
Daddy likey.
361
00:09:44,291 --> 00:09:46,926
(Seals and crofts)
summer breeze
362
00:09:46,927 --> 00:09:48,361
Makes me feel fine
363
00:09:48,362 --> 00:09:50,530
(Mindy) Sorry we couldn't
get frisky last night.
364
00:09:50,531 --> 00:09:51,631
Love, Mindy.
365
00:09:51,665 --> 00:09:53,166
P.S. enjoy the cannolis.
366
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:55,768
They, um, forgot
to put filling in them.
367
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:58,604
368
00:09:58,605 --> 00:10:03,409
Summer breeze
makes me feel fine
369
00:10:03,410 --> 00:10:06,779
Blowing through the Jasmine
in my mind
370
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,348
I'll show you frisky.
371
00:10:08,382 --> 00:10:12,118
[Shower running]
372
00:10:12,119 --> 00:10:15,655
Summer breeze
makes me feel fine
373
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,190
Give me some
of that brown butter.
374
00:10:17,191 --> 00:10:20,460
Blowing through the Jasmine
in my mind
375
00:10:20,461 --> 00:10:22,462
[Peter and Danny shouting]
376
00:10:22,463 --> 00:10:23,963
What are you doing?
377
00:10:23,964 --> 00:10:26,299
[Both shouting]
378
00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:27,367
Oh!
379
00:10:28,685 --> 00:10:31,514
Oh, now I can never use
that shower again.
380
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:33,082
What the hell, dude?
You grabbed my butt!
381
00:10:33,083 --> 00:10:34,083
I was confused.
382
00:10:34,117 --> 00:10:36,018
You have
a very womanly silhouette!
383
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,086
Yeah, I know.
384
00:10:37,087 --> 00:10:38,254
I have a beer butt
and weed boobs.
385
00:10:38,255 --> 00:10:39,254
Thanks for reminding me.
386
00:10:39,256 --> 00:10:40,756
(Mindy)
[Muffled shouting]
387
00:10:40,757 --> 00:10:42,525
Your apnea mask is on.
388
00:10:42,526 --> 00:10:43,559
[Garbled]
What the hell...
389
00:10:43,593 --> 00:10:44,592
[Muffled shouting]
390
00:10:44,594 --> 00:10:45,761
Mouth guard!
391
00:10:45,762 --> 00:10:47,530
What the hell
is happening out here?
392
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:49,732
Mindy, your boyfriend
groped me.
393
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:50,732
You are a beard.
394
00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:52,068
Oh, no.
It's happening again.
395
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,803
Why did you let Peter
use our shower?
396
00:10:53,837 --> 00:10:54,837
She didn't.
397
00:10:54,838 --> 00:10:56,038
I had to use your shower
398
00:10:56,039 --> 00:10:57,940
because my dog, Nicole,
is sleeping on the t-shirt
399
00:10:57,941 --> 00:10:58,941
I use as a towel.
400
00:10:58,942 --> 00:11:00,109
See?
Reasons, Danny!
401
00:11:00,110 --> 00:11:01,110
No.
402
00:11:01,111 --> 00:11:03,112
I told you
about stopping over uninvited.
403
00:11:03,113 --> 00:11:04,447
Okay, we don't need
a Kramer,
404
00:11:04,448 --> 00:11:05,614
and if we needed one,
405
00:11:05,615 --> 00:11:07,083
Morgan's
more that energy.
406
00:11:07,117 --> 00:11:08,117
I'm sorry, Pete.
407
00:11:08,151 --> 00:11:09,485
Rules are rules.
You're out.
408
00:11:09,519 --> 00:11:11,187
Okay, okay, wait.
Let me handle this.
409
00:11:11,188 --> 00:11:13,155
Sweetheart, I am
so sorry that happened.
410
00:11:13,190 --> 00:11:15,024
I can't imagine you
walking in there
411
00:11:15,025 --> 00:11:16,359
thinking it was
my beautiful body
412
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:17,626
and then happening
upon him.
413
00:11:17,661 --> 00:11:18,661
But, Danny,
you can't
414
00:11:18,662 --> 00:11:19,895
kick him out
of the apartment.
415
00:11:19,930 --> 00:11:20,930
We're just beginning
416
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,431
to wean him
back into society, okay?
417
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,100
[Snorts]
You said ween.
418
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:25,601
God.
He's a monster.
419
00:11:25,636 --> 00:11:28,471
[Sighs]
All right, fine.
420
00:11:28,505 --> 00:11:30,172
You can stay,
but from now on,
421
00:11:30,173 --> 00:11:31,841
you're banned
from this apartment, okay?
422
00:11:31,842 --> 00:11:33,676
You don't bother us,
and we don't bother you.
423
00:11:33,677 --> 00:11:34,677
Got it?
424
00:11:34,678 --> 00:11:35,845
Very well.
425
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,988
All right.
What the hell.
426
00:11:46,023 --> 00:11:48,024
(Jeremy) Well,
it's been the worst night of my life.
427
00:11:48,058 --> 00:11:49,625
[Sighs]
I'm leaving.
428
00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:51,160
Thank you, Morgan.
I won't pay you.
429
00:11:51,161 --> 00:11:52,161
But you can have
430
00:11:52,162 --> 00:11:53,596
all the soda
you can drink.
431
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,031
Okay, it would be.
432
00:11:55,032 --> 00:11:56,032
I just want
to say that.
433
00:11:56,033 --> 00:11:57,233
If you need me,
I'm gonna catch
434
00:11:57,234 --> 00:11:58,734
a matinee of Wagner...
435
00:11:58,735 --> 00:12:01,070
Depressing,
anti-semitic, sure,
436
00:12:01,071 --> 00:12:02,672
but more fun
than here.
437
00:12:02,706 --> 00:12:04,106
All right, can I say
something real quick?
438
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:05,675
What?
You should stay.
439
00:12:05,709 --> 00:12:07,109
I mean, first of all,
I can teach you
440
00:12:07,110 --> 00:12:08,644
how to put
this littlpork chop to bed.
441
00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:09,879
And also,
you told Lauren
442
00:12:09,913 --> 00:12:11,280
that you would do this.
443
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:12,515
Yeah, it's a nice ought,
Morgan,
444
00:12:12,516 --> 00:12:13,849
but I don't think
I have a paternal bone
445
00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:14,850
in my body.
446
00:12:14,851 --> 00:12:16,152
Sorry.
447
00:12:16,186 --> 00:12:18,054
(Henry)
Peter.
448
00:12:19,323 --> 00:12:21,557
Did he just say
"Peter"?
449
00:12:21,591 --> 00:12:23,359
I think he said "pita,"
450
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,227
as in
the middle eastern bread,
451
00:12:25,262 --> 00:12:27,196
and definitely
not Peter,
452
00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:28,631
Lauren's ex-boyfriend
453
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,166
and our coworker.
454
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:31,200
Morgan,
put the coffee on.
455
00:12:31,234 --> 00:12:32,234
You're gonna teach me
456
00:12:32,235 --> 00:12:33,536
how to make
this stupid baby like me,
457
00:12:33,570 --> 00:12:35,871
or my name isn't
Jeremy matilda Reed.
458
00:12:35,906 --> 00:12:36,906
[Knocking at door]
459
00:12:36,907 --> 00:12:38,074
(Mindy)
Who is it?
460
00:12:39,443 --> 00:12:41,177
Oh, I didn't
order any food.
461
00:12:41,211 --> 00:12:43,546
Hi. I'm Ray.
462
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,081
Danny wanted me
to change the locks.
463
00:12:45,115 --> 00:12:47,483
He said he was the victim
of a bathroom invasion.
464
00:12:47,517 --> 00:12:48,918
Hey, while you're here,
I'd love it
465
00:12:48,919 --> 00:12:50,353
if you could take a look
at the shower
466
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:52,421
and see if you can install
one of those old lady seats.
467
00:12:52,422 --> 00:12:53,422
I get so tired.
468
00:12:53,423 --> 00:12:54,423
I can take a look.
469
00:12:54,424 --> 00:12:55,591
Oh, I checked
with the city,
470
00:12:55,592 --> 00:12:57,026
and we can knock down
that wall,
471
00:12:57,060 --> 00:12:59,362
so you guys can combine
Danny's two apartments.
472
00:12:59,396 --> 00:13:00,396
Hmm?
473
00:13:00,397 --> 00:13:01,397
He said
something about
474
00:13:01,431 --> 00:13:03,065
wanting to make room
for family.
475
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:05,835
Family? Family?
476
00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,103
Ray, come here.
477
00:13:07,137 --> 00:13:08,237
My sweet Ray.
478
00:13:08,238 --> 00:13:09,572
I've been waiting
for this my whole life.
479
00:13:09,606 --> 00:13:11,173
A man wants me
to move in with him.
480
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,908
Tell me
your name again.
481
00:13:12,943 --> 00:13:14,443
I'm Mindy,
Ray, obviously.
482
00:13:14,478 --> 00:13:15,811
Okay, I got to go.
Excuse me!
483
00:13:17,147 --> 00:13:18,247
Hey, neighbor!
484
00:13:18,282 --> 00:13:19,415
Peter,
you're evicted.
485
00:13:19,449 --> 00:13:20,616
What?
486
00:13:20,617 --> 00:13:21,784
Danny wants to combine
the two apartments
487
00:13:21,785 --> 00:13:22,918
so that I can
move in with him.
488
00:13:22,953 --> 00:13:24,454
So you got to go.
489
00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:25,955
God, what did I do
with the place
490
00:13:25,956 --> 00:13:26,956
once it's mine?
491
00:13:26,957 --> 00:13:28,324
I was thinking like
492
00:13:28,325 --> 00:13:30,660
a "strawberry shortcake
meets Saddam's palace" vibe.
493
00:13:30,661 --> 00:13:32,261
Okay, I'm being
insense.
494
00:13:32,262 --> 00:13:33,963
I'm very sorry.
495
00:13:33,997 --> 00:13:34,997
But I don't want
to go.
496
00:13:34,998 --> 00:13:35,998
I'm doing so well
497
00:13:35,999 --> 00:13:37,199
ling next to
you and Danny.
498
00:13:37,234 --> 00:13:38,501
I know!
I think we fixed you.
499
00:13:38,502 --> 00:13:39,869
I think
you should move on.
500
00:13:39,870 --> 00:13:41,871
Didn't you tell me that
you bought groceries today?
501
00:13:41,905 --> 00:13:43,585
Yeah, and then I left them
at a strip club.
502
00:13:43,607 --> 00:13:44,606
Damn it.
503
00:13:44,608 --> 00:13:45,975
I'm a mess.
504
00:13:46,009 --> 00:13:47,843
Look, I'm so sorry, Peter,
505
00:13:47,844 --> 00:13:49,512
but I'm, like,
200 years old, okay?
506
00:13:49,513 --> 00:13:50,813
I got to lock this down.
507
00:13:50,847 --> 00:13:51,914
I finally
found a boyfriend
508
00:13:51,949 --> 00:13:53,783
with a perfectly
proportioned penis.
509
00:13:53,784 --> 00:13:55,618
Do you know how rare
that is in Manhattan?
510
00:13:55,652 --> 00:13:56,651
I'm gonna hold on
to him
511
00:13:56,653 --> 00:13:57,987
until a coroner
drags me away.
512
00:13:57,988 --> 00:13:58,988
I'm sorry, Peter.
513
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:00,189
I just need this
more than you.
514
00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:01,857
Very well.
515
00:14:01,858 --> 00:14:05,361
I think I see
the writing on the wall.
516
00:14:05,362 --> 00:14:07,196
And I'm sorry about that
by the way.
517
00:14:08,498 --> 00:14:09,832
I will be out of the apartment
by the morning,
518
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,100
but until then,
it is mine.
519
00:14:11,134 --> 00:14:12,902
Thank you.
520
00:14:12,936 --> 00:14:15,004
And just so you know,
521
00:14:15,038 --> 00:14:16,472
you're acting like
a crazy spinster,
522
00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:17,786
and I didn't
expect that from you
523
00:14:17,808 --> 00:14:19,342
for another two years,
and I don't know
524
00:14:19,343 --> 00:14:20,643
what is going on
with you and Danny,
525
00:14:20,677 --> 00:14:22,411
but this is pathetic.
526
00:14:22,412 --> 00:14:24,180
Be that as it may,
527
00:14:24,181 --> 00:14:25,348
this is how it is.
528
00:14:25,349 --> 00:14:26,348
I'm so sorry.
529
00:14:26,350 --> 00:14:27,850
Nicole, please
see this jerk
530
00:14:27,851 --> 00:14:29,352
to her apartment.
531
00:14:29,386 --> 00:14:30,586
Nicole?
532
00:14:31,722 --> 00:14:34,056
I forgot her
at the strip club too.
533
00:14:36,193 --> 00:14:38,160
(Jeremy) Morgan, explain to
me again why you're shirtless.
534
00:14:38,195 --> 00:14:40,129
'Cause a very wise woman
once said to me,
535
00:14:40,163 --> 00:14:41,764
"if with a baby
you want to win,
536
00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:43,499
always go
skin to skin."
537
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:44,734
Do you know
who that woman was?
538
00:14:44,735 --> 00:14:46,269
That was doctor...
539
00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:47,303
It was Mindy.
540
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,005
I was gonna say it,
but...
541
00:14:49,039 --> 00:14:50,106
She loves to rhyme.
542
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,140
I like it, though.
Yeah, me too.
543
00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,141
You're up next,
okay?
544
00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:53,209
And if he starts
suckling,
545
00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:54,209
just go with it.
546
00:14:54,211 --> 00:14:55,545
Okay, so, um...
547
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,680
Oy.
So I just... uh, I just...
548
00:14:57,714 --> 00:14:58,915
Okay, so take off
your blouse.
549
00:14:58,916 --> 00:14:59,916
Well,
it's not a blouse.
550
00:14:59,917 --> 00:15:01,217
It's a men's
peasant top.
551
00:15:01,251 --> 00:15:02,251
Okay, whatever.
Just take it off.
552
00:15:02,252 --> 00:15:03,252
I'm not
gonna take it off.
553
00:15:03,253 --> 00:15:04,253
Just take it off.
Trust me.
554
00:15:04,254 --> 00:15:05,254
No, no.
What are you doing?
555
00:15:05,255 --> 00:15:06,255
Come on.
Listen to me.
556
00:15:06,256 --> 00:15:07,423
No, no! Shirt to skin!
Shirt to skin!
557
00:15:07,424 --> 00:15:08,424
You're jiggling
like a woman!
558
00:15:08,425 --> 00:15:09,425
I'm gonna freak out!
559
00:15:09,426 --> 00:15:10,560
No, no, no!
Agh! My elbow!
560
00:15:10,594 --> 00:15:11,627
[Giggles]
561
00:15:11,662 --> 00:15:13,129
He's laughing.
562
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,664
Why is he laughing?
563
00:15:14,665 --> 00:15:15,898
He likes it
when you hurt yourself.
564
00:15:15,933 --> 00:15:17,333
Hurt yourself again.
Hurt yourself again.
565
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,494
No way.
I bruise like a peach.
566
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:19,669
Dr. Prentice
would do it.
567
00:15:21,772 --> 00:15:22,872
Okay, fine.
568
00:15:22,873 --> 00:15:24,006
Do it.
Do it.
569
00:15:24,007 --> 00:15:25,675
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do?
570
00:15:25,709 --> 00:15:26,709
Agh!
571
00:15:26,710 --> 00:15:28,010
[Giggles]
572
00:15:28,045 --> 00:15:29,312
(Morgan)
He loves it!
573
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,513
Personally,
I don't.
574
00:15:30,547 --> 00:15:32,548
I like the dry,
you know, like frasier,
575
00:15:32,549 --> 00:15:34,217
that type of humor,
but...
576
00:15:34,251 --> 00:15:36,586
(Mindy) Finally,
an intimate evening for three:
577
00:15:36,587 --> 00:15:37,895
You, me,
578
00:15:37,921 --> 00:15:40,089
and Dr. Dan's
winter melon ale.
579
00:15:40,090 --> 00:15:41,591
Bon appetit, baby.
580
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,259
I thought you said
it tasted like urine.
581
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:44,360
No, I would never
say that.
582
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,862
It's my favorite drink.
583
00:15:47,564 --> 00:15:48,564
[Coughing]
584
00:15:48,565 --> 00:15:49,665
You okay, babe?
Mm-hmm.
585
00:15:49,700 --> 00:15:52,068
I love the way
it tastes in my mouth.
586
00:15:52,069 --> 00:15:53,069
Come here.
587
00:15:53,070 --> 00:15:54,070
Yeah.
588
00:15:54,071 --> 00:15:57,073
[Dmx's party up playing loudly]
589
00:15:57,074 --> 00:15:58,074
590
00:15:58,075 --> 00:15:59,075
What's that noise?
591
00:15:59,076 --> 00:16:00,343
[People shouting and cheering]
592
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,878
(Dmx)
whoo! Y'all gon' make me
593
00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:03,045
Lose my mind
594
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:05,047
Up in here,
up in here
595
00:16:05,082 --> 00:16:06,883
What the hell
is Peter thinking?
596
00:16:06,917 --> 00:16:08,317
(Mindy)
Oh, my God.
597
00:16:08,352 --> 00:16:10,553
There's not
a single coaster being used.
598
00:16:10,587 --> 00:16:12,722
(Mindy) How dare
Peter throw a party?
599
00:16:12,756 --> 00:16:13,856
How dare Peter
throw a party
600
00:16:13,857 --> 00:16:14,857
and not invite us?
601
00:16:14,858 --> 00:16:16,138
I mean,
look at all these basics!
602
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,326
Oh, my cornucopia.
603
00:16:17,327 --> 00:16:18,661
My cornucopia!
604
00:16:18,695 --> 00:16:22,465
Hey!
Put the pens down!
605
00:16:22,466 --> 00:16:24,066
Peter,
you son of a bitch.
606
00:16:24,101 --> 00:16:25,568
Hey, hey!
Come here!
607
00:16:25,602 --> 00:16:26,702
Get over here.
608
00:16:26,737 --> 00:16:27,837
Get off me, mom!
609
00:16:27,871 --> 00:16:29,705
What the hell
is wrong with you?
610
00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:30,807
My real friends
611
00:16:30,808 --> 00:16:32,241
are throwing me
a going-away party
612
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:33,910
to protest
my eviction.
613
00:16:33,944 --> 00:16:35,444
Pete, what the hell
is going on, man?
614
00:16:35,445 --> 00:16:37,280
I checked the microwave.
It's cheese city.
615
00:16:37,281 --> 00:16:38,447
You got to put
that top on,
616
00:16:38,448 --> 00:16:39,882
the protector...
What do you call it?
617
00:16:39,883 --> 00:16:41,584
The plastic protector shield!
Put it on!
618
00:16:41,618 --> 00:16:42,785
I don't know what
you're talking about!
619
00:16:42,786 --> 00:16:44,120
I wouldn't use anything
like that
620
00:16:44,121 --> 00:16:45,361
even if I wasn't
having a party.
621
00:16:45,389 --> 00:16:46,389
What did you say...
622
00:16:46,390 --> 00:16:47,890
Hey, man, you better
watch yourself!
623
00:16:47,891 --> 00:16:50,092
There is a big disparity
between sizes!
624
00:16:50,127 --> 00:16:51,302
Oh, you're, like,
an inch taller!
625
00:16:51,328 --> 00:16:52,762
Inch and a half!
With hair!
626
00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:54,063
Yeah!
And some forehead!
627
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:55,231
Okay,
this is stupid.
628
00:16:55,232 --> 00:16:56,566
It's like an ant
fighting with thumbelina.
629
00:16:56,567 --> 00:16:57,733
Peter, you're gonna
ruin this place
630
00:16:57,734 --> 00:16:59,168
before I even get
a chance to move in!
631
00:16:59,169 --> 00:17:01,003
Yeah! What do you mean,
"move in"?
632
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:05,816
Oh, you don't know
what this one's thinking.
633
00:17:05,843 --> 00:17:08,911
Oh, there's a conversation
to be had here.
634
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:11,114
Now, if you will
excuse me,
635
00:17:11,115 --> 00:17:12,615
I need to go
get greased up
636
00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:13,783
by my real friends
637
00:17:13,784 --> 00:17:15,451
for my party slide.
638
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:16,586
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no!
639
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,454
Pete, no sliding!
It's in the lease!
640
00:17:18,455 --> 00:17:19,755
I thought
about everything!
641
00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:21,224
I can't hear that!
642
00:17:21,258 --> 00:17:22,725
What do you, uh...
643
00:17:22,726 --> 00:17:23,926
What do you mean,
"moving in"?
644
00:17:23,927 --> 00:17:24,926
What's that?
645
00:17:24,928 --> 00:17:26,095
Oh, Ray told me.
646
00:17:26,096 --> 00:17:27,763
You don't have
to keep it a secret anymore.
647
00:17:27,764 --> 00:17:29,465
I know you want
to combine the apartments
648
00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:31,100
to make room
for our family.
649
00:17:31,135 --> 00:17:33,636
[Sighs]
No, no, I...
650
00:17:33,637 --> 00:17:35,638
I want to expand,
651
00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:37,473
so ma could have
a place.
652
00:17:37,508 --> 00:17:42,445
Oh, you meant your mother,
your family, yeah.
653
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:43,579
Mindy, no, no...
654
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:45,915
Ha...
I am so embarrassed.
655
00:17:45,949 --> 00:17:47,116
No, no, no. Don't be embarrassed.
No, no, it's okay.
656
00:17:47,151 --> 00:17:48,151
I'm gonna go.
657
00:17:48,152 --> 00:17:49,585
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hold... hold on.
658
00:17:49,620 --> 00:17:51,154
Mindy?
Min?
659
00:17:51,188 --> 00:17:53,030
Get my nips.
Don't forget the nips.
660
00:17:53,056 --> 00:17:54,198
(Peter)
I'm Peter Pan!
661
00:17:54,224 --> 00:17:56,893
[All cheering]
662
00:17:56,894 --> 00:17:58,594
Whoa!
663
00:17:58,629 --> 00:18:00,096
Oh, my God!
Pete!
664
00:18:02,963 --> 00:18:04,363
Come in.
665
00:18:04,398 --> 00:18:05,998
Hey, pal,
glad you're feeling better.
666
00:18:06,033 --> 00:18:07,066
Really?
667
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:08,701
Yeah, I want you to get
healthy and strong,
668
00:18:08,702 --> 00:18:09,702
so I can kill you
669
00:18:09,703 --> 00:18:11,170
for what you did
to my apartment.
670
00:18:11,205 --> 00:18:12,538
Look, I only
threw that party
671
00:18:12,539 --> 00:18:14,574
because Mindy evicted me
with no warning.
672
00:18:14,608 --> 00:18:16,375
Yeah, well, I got a bone
to pick with her too.
673
00:18:16,376 --> 00:18:17,410
I don't understand
674
00:18:17,444 --> 00:18:18,778
why she's so upset
with me.
675
00:18:18,779 --> 00:18:20,613
Dude,
you read her diary.
676
00:18:20,614 --> 00:18:21,948
You know Mindy's all in.
677
00:18:21,949 --> 00:18:24,083
So when you start talking
about knocking down walls,
678
00:18:24,084 --> 00:18:25,685
she's gonna think
that you're all in too.
679
00:18:25,686 --> 00:18:27,019
Yeah, you're right.
680
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:29,021
We have been getting
real close lately.
681
00:18:29,022 --> 00:18:31,190
She admitted to me
that she's in her 30s.
682
00:18:31,225 --> 00:18:32,225
Shut up.
683
00:18:32,226 --> 00:18:33,860
She swears to me
she's 24.
684
00:18:33,894 --> 00:18:35,228
Nope, 30s.
685
00:18:35,262 --> 00:18:36,562
Yeah, I mean,
I know.
686
00:18:36,597 --> 00:18:37,763
Yeah.
Well, go.
687
00:18:37,798 --> 00:18:39,532
Make things right
with Diane.
688
00:18:39,566 --> 00:18:40,566
What?
689
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:42,235
Uh, Mindy.
Sorry.
690
00:18:42,236 --> 00:18:44,203
I am legit
concussed here.
691
00:18:44,204 --> 00:18:45,838
All right, pal.
Rest up, okay?
692
00:18:45,873 --> 00:18:47,673
Hey, Danny?
693
00:18:47,708 --> 00:18:48,708
Yeah, buddy?
694
00:18:48,742 --> 00:18:50,576
Thanks for coming
to visit me.
695
00:18:50,577 --> 00:18:52,278
None of
my other friends did.
696
00:18:52,312 --> 00:18:54,814
You know what, Pete?
697
00:18:54,815 --> 00:18:56,816
I think you should
spend a little more time
698
00:18:56,817 --> 00:18:57,950
at my other place.
699
00:18:57,985 --> 00:18:59,051
Are you being
serious?
700
00:18:59,086 --> 00:19:00,386
Yeah.
701
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:01,721
Even though Bush
dropped a deuce
702
00:19:01,722 --> 00:19:02,722
in your washing machine?
703
00:19:02,723 --> 00:19:04,724
[Sighs]
I didn't know about that.
704
00:19:06,126 --> 00:19:08,728
Oh, wherever did I leave
my banana peel?
705
00:19:08,762 --> 00:19:10,196
Oh, it's there.
706
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:12,231
Coccyx, forgive me.
707
00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:14,100
[Hissing]
708
00:19:15,135 --> 00:19:16,135
[Whispering]
Oh, my God.
709
00:19:19,973 --> 00:19:20,973
Thank you so much.
710
00:19:20,974 --> 00:19:22,041
And, listen,
I know I tried
711
00:19:22,042 --> 00:19:23,042
to bail on you
seven or eight times...
712
00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:24,043
Yeah, you did.
713
00:19:24,044 --> 00:19:25,178
But thank you
for sticking with me.
714
00:19:25,179 --> 00:19:27,079
And, listen, I owe you
way more than soda, so...
715
00:19:27,114 --> 00:19:28,881
Oh, no, no, come on.
That's crazy.
716
00:19:28,882 --> 00:19:30,016
Come on, come on.
That's...
717
00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:32,251
All right.
718
00:19:32,252 --> 00:19:33,653
Lauren is gonna be
so impressed.
719
00:19:33,687 --> 00:19:34,887
Oh, yeah,
she's gonna want you
720
00:19:34,888 --> 00:19:36,155
to watch Henry
all the time.
721
00:19:36,190 --> 00:19:37,457
What are you
talking about?
722
00:19:37,491 --> 00:19:38,891
I mean, this could be
your life now.
723
00:19:38,892 --> 00:19:40,393
You know,
you're a lucky man.
724
00:19:40,394 --> 00:19:41,494
Oh, no, no,
no, no, no, no...
725
00:19:41,495 --> 00:19:42,528
Ye
726
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:43,763
but what if I don't want
any of that?
727
00:19:43,797 --> 00:19:45,164
What if I just wanted
a girlfriend
728
00:19:45,199 --> 00:19:47,867
and I hadn't thought
any of this through?
729
00:19:47,868 --> 00:19:50,803
I don't know
what to tell you.
730
00:19:50,804 --> 00:19:51,803
Oh, dear.
731
00:19:51,805 --> 00:19:53,139
I'll see you monday.
732
00:19:53,140 --> 00:19:54,774
That baby's
got to sleep.
733
00:19:54,808 --> 00:19:55,942
Okay.
734
00:19:57,111 --> 00:19:58,144
Bye, buddy.
735
00:19:58,145 --> 00:20:01,147
[Crashing]
736
00:20:01,148 --> 00:20:04,016
[Clattering]
737
00:20:04,051 --> 00:20:07,053
[Henry crying]
738
00:20:07,054 --> 00:20:08,321
Bye.
739
00:20:08,322 --> 00:20:10,056
[Crying continues]
740
00:20:11,525 --> 00:20:12,959
[Door opens]
741
00:20:12,993 --> 00:20:14,327
Hey.
742
00:20:14,361 --> 00:20:15,528
Hey.
743
00:20:15,529 --> 00:20:16,629
You don't
have to do that.
744
00:20:16,663 --> 00:20:17,830
You told me,
in your culture,
745
00:20:17,831 --> 00:20:19,031
cleaning
is a man job.
746
00:20:19,032 --> 00:20:20,031
It is.
747
00:20:20,033 --> 00:20:21,701
I just wanted the place
to look nice
748
00:20:21,702 --> 00:20:23,202
for when your mom
moved in.
749
00:20:23,237 --> 00:20:24,337
Can we talk
about that?
750
00:20:25,372 --> 00:20:26,372
When I was thinking
751
00:20:26,373 --> 00:20:27,807
about having my mom
move in, that...
752
00:20:27,841 --> 00:20:29,642
I'm talking down the line,
in the future,
753
00:20:29,643 --> 00:20:31,711
when her bones
finally turn to dust.
754
00:20:31,745 --> 00:20:33,646
She's got to take
the yogurt for her bones.
755
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,481
Promise me you'll take yogurt
for your bones.
756
00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:37,350
Do you want talk
about yogurt,
757
00:20:37,351 --> 00:20:38,684
or do you want to talk
about us?
758
00:20:40,354 --> 00:20:41,487
Look,
759
00:20:41,488 --> 00:20:43,156
I'm nervous about it,
760
00:20:43,157 --> 00:20:44,991
really, really nervous.
761
00:20:45,025 --> 00:20:48,528
But if you really want
to move in,
762
00:20:48,529 --> 00:20:50,196
I want to give it a try.
763
00:20:52,199 --> 00:20:53,866
No, it's okay,
Danny.
764
00:20:53,901 --> 00:20:56,069
Look, I just want to be
with someone
765
00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:58,738
who's as excited
and certain as I am
766
00:20:58,739 --> 00:20:59,906
about our future.
767
00:20:59,940 --> 00:21:01,441
And if you're not,
that's fine.
768
00:21:01,442 --> 00:21:02,842
Just let me know.
769
00:21:02,843 --> 00:21:05,511
Because honestly,
I'm gonna be fine
770
00:21:05,512 --> 00:21:06,879
no matter what happens.
771
00:21:06,914 --> 00:21:08,247
You will?
772
00:21:08,248 --> 00:21:10,083
Hold on.
Hold on.
773
00:21:11,351 --> 00:21:14,020
What if I want
to move in with you?
774
00:21:14,054 --> 00:21:16,389
Well, then you should
ask me sometime,
775
00:21:16,423 --> 00:21:18,758
when you're not
really, really nervous.
776
00:21:24,398 --> 00:21:26,232
[Rustling]
777
00:21:26,233 --> 00:21:27,233
[Groans]
778
00:21:27,234 --> 00:21:28,234
That's a good woman.
779
00:21:28,235 --> 00:21:29,869
You better hang on
to her.
780
00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:31,370
Get out
of my apartment.
781
00:21:31,405 --> 00:21:37,330
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
782
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:41,930
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
52631
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof