All language subtitles for The League of Gentlemen s03e06.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:03,670 ("LEAGUE OF GENTLEMEN" THEME) 2 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:44,270 (HUMS TUNELESSLY) 3 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,872 (LAUGHS) Top banana! 4 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:54,830 (SHRIEKS) 5 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,754 - Vinnie! - I'm doing the games! 6 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:08,270 Never mind the games, dear. We've lost a bag! 7 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:10,635 - What? - We've lost a bag. 8 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:14,793 I was upstairs doing the bags, a gust of wind comes along 9 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:17,030 - and - whoosh! - it's gone! - The bag? 10 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,112 Whoosh! Somebody must have left the window open. 11 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,471 (BOTH) That Meryl! 12 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,995 - What bag was it? - It was pink, I think. 13 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,754 - It's shook me right up. - Are you thirsty? 14 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,117 - No, I don't do Thursdays. - No, dear. Thirsty. Thirsty. 15 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,670 - All right! No need to be rude. - I'm not being rude. 16 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,559 You are. Ooh, I've got stitch. 17 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,389 Anyway, how you getting on with the games? 18 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:46,997 All right. I've put the top hat from Monopoly in Mouse Trap, 19 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:50,277 I've put the cage from Mouse Trap in Cluedo, 20 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:52,869 and I've stuck Professor Plum in Colditz! 21 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,355 - (BOTH CACKLE) - That'll show 'em. 22 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,433 - What about the rules? - All in here. 23 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,637 I'll come early tomorrow, dear, and help with the jigsaws. 24 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:05,997 - What? A piece out of each? - Yeah. See you tomorrow. 25 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,316 See you tomorrow. 26 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,516 (CACKLES) 27 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:20,998 Oh! Oh! Reenie! There's the bag! 28 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,430 (SQUISH) 29 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,156 Silly old bag... 30 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:43,351 (CROAKS) 31 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:58,877 Vinnie! Vinnie, we've got some stuff! 32 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:01,349 Clothes, is it? Yeah, it's clothes, dear. 33 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,830 You wanna come and have a look. Nice big bag as well. 34 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,117 Now, what have we got here? Ooh, some gloves. 35 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,511 Some gloves, dear. Got to get a few pence for these. 36 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,194 What else? Ooh, a dress! 37 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,715 You'd like this dress, Vinnie. 38 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:18,871 Few holes in it, though. 39 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,429 Now, then. What's this in 'ere? 40 00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,478 Teeth! Never had teeth before. 41 00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,313 Old woman's teeth, Vinnie! 42 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,119 Old woman's teeth. 43 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,795 And a hat. One of those hats that you... 44 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,511 Hat...teeth... 45 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,235 ..dress, gloves... 46 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,960 Oh, Vinnie! 47 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,270 Oh, Vinnie! 48 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,318 It's all good stuff, dear. 49 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,153 It's all good stuff. (SOBS) 50 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:05,274 They call 'em Disney Classics. Some aren't even a year old. 51 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,635 Shelley, come here. 52 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,792 Tell our new projectionist which is the best dog cartoon. 53 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:12,951 (ORIENTAL ACCENT) I say "Fox and Hound". 54 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,953 - Tell 'im, Shelley. - "All Dogs Go to Heaven". 55 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:19,789 Thank you. "All Dogs Go to Heaven." Don Bluth, 1989. 56 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,235 It piddles over your "Fox and Hound". 57 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,273 - But it's good film. - It's all right. 58 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,715 "All Dogs" has Burt Reynolds. 59 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,275 You've got Mickey bloomin' Rooney. I rest my cause. 60 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,596 - I need a word... - You see, 61 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:36,673 there's nothing you can tell me about dog films. 62 00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:40,515 People used to say, "Kenny, a dog cinema? You're crackers!" 63 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,672 "Where's the variety??" I'll give you flickin' variety. 64 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,354 Just off the top of me 'ead - "Look Who's Talking Now", 65 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,590 "Beethoven's Second", "Zoltan, Hound of Dracula". 66 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,190 As a triple bill, that'd be up there with the "Godfather"s. 67 00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,828 - How many were in last Sunday? - 37. 68 00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:58,709 A double bill. "The Shaggy Dog", "The Shaggy DA". 69 00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,713 I saw lads wi' shaven heads pissing themselves laughing. 70 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,639 - Boss... - 1976 and fresh as a daisy. 71 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,109 Boss, I've got some news. 72 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,118 What? Don't say they've let me down on "Cujo". 73 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,709 - No. - Thank God for that. 74 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,111 I've got a party of goths coming from Leeds. 75 00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:20,592 - It's Dougal Siepp. - You what? 76 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,395 He's back. 77 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:26,357 (DOG HOWLS) 78 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:34,197 Here we go. Now, then... This is where you stand, Keith. 79 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,920 - (CAMP VOICE) Right. - I'll be doing the bags. 80 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:39,071 Did you have bags at the Spastics', dear? 81 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:42,118 We did, but it's called Scope now. 82 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:44,953 - What's that? - You said Spastics'. 83 00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:48,237 - They're Scope. - Oh! Vinnie! 84 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:52,593 No. So did you work with many bags at the Scope, dear? 85 00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:57,311 One or two. Speaking of bags, I brought in some stuff. 86 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,870 - Charity begins at home. - Lovely. Good stuff, is it? 87 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:03,952 It's costume jewellery from my am-dram days. 88 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,111 I fell out with the costume designer, 89 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:08,919 but aren't these so right for Banquo? 90 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,752 - Excuse me? - Yes, dear. 91 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,990 I bought this games compendium last week. 92 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:17,358 - There's a few pieces missing. - I'll be upstairs, dear. 93 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,950 Keep the bag. 94 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:25,077 - Sorry, you were saying? - There's some draughts missing. 95 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:29,319 I've got these buttons from "The Diary of Anne Frank". 96 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,552 I snipped them off a Nazi. They're quite a good match. 97 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,196 - What else? - A counter for Connect Four. 98 00:06:36,400 --> 00:06:41,155 Hmm... Tricky. My ruby brooch should slip down your crack. 99 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,311 OK... 100 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,435 Yeah, and I'm also missing a black queen. 101 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,154 There's no answer to that, is there? 102 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:53,073 - Use this thimble. - Thanks very much. 103 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:57,558 - You've been very helpful. - Not at all. See you again. 104 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,792 I'm just glad he had a full set of tiddlywinks. 105 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,393 (PHONE RINGS) 106 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,630 Hello? Keith Drop. 107 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,791 Hello, Eve. How are the costumes? 108 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,955 Right. Oh, you're joking? 109 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,351 Tonsillitis? So who can we get to play the Nazi? 110 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:17,796 (SHOUTS INCOHERENTLY) Wherez this Anne Fraaa?! 111 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:22,317 Ah'm a Nazi!! I gunna keel you, Anne Fraaank!! 112 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,757 Good eve... 113 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:36,911 (BAD AMERICAN ACCENT) Good afternoon. 114 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,469 My name is Dean Tavalouris. 115 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:44,191 I'm about to go out onto the streets of Royston Vasey 116 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:48,069 doing my magic and all my tricks. 117 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,231 (WOMAN) Dean, have you fed them fish? 118 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:52,709 Mam! I'm doin' me programme! 119 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:56,674 The power of the human mind, madam! 120 00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,990 The power of the human mind, sir? 121 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,831 The power of the human mind, sir? 122 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:05,753 - Eh? - I'm here in Royston Vasey 123 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,070 doing magic for my programme. 124 00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:10,595 Is he talkin' to us. Tell him no. 125 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,997 These are my friends, all 52 of them. 126 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,191 Look, Frank. 127 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:19,757 - Is this for the telly? - Yes. It's on in the fall. 128 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,316 Now, look at these. All normal, nowt wrong with 'em. 129 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:26,995 Right. 'Ere, hold me bag. 130 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,151 Now, pick a card, is it? 131 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,311 You won't know it. I thought this up. 132 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,597 - Hurry up. It's freezation. - Thank you, my friend. 133 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:37,633 Now take a look at this. 134 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,997 Eh, our Jack's got one of these. It's an Instamatic. 135 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:43,395 Careful! That cost loads. 136 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,996 I said I'd get those Hoover bags. 137 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,435 Oh, aye! Look who it is! 138 00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:51,353 All right, Frank. It's not getting any warmer, is it? 139 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:54,717 Excuse me. This is a magic camera. 140 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,678 It sees all the thoughts within your 'ead. 141 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:59,990 (CLICKS AND WHIRRS) 142 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,957 - What's all this, then? - He's doing a conjuring trick. 143 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,714 Oh, aye? Do I have to pick a card? 144 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,912 No, I've already done that. Now... 145 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,271 They look nice, them parsnips. 146 00:09:12,440 --> 00:09:16,115 - Have you tried Binns? - It's Hammonds now. 147 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,589 - Was this your selection? - Eh? 148 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,555 Your card. Was this your card? 149 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:24,234 Sorry, son. I can't remember. 150 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:28,638 Was your card the card in the picture? 151 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,678 I couldn't tell you, son. I honestly couldn't say. 152 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,832 - Did you see it? - Come on, Frank. It's bitter. 153 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,391 You take a good picture, Frank. 154 00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,473 What is wrong with people round here? 155 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,358 What is wrong with people?! 156 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,958 Here we are. Two teas. 157 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,111 Ooh, thanks. I'm spitting feathers. 158 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,475 Now, how you getting on with the book? 159 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,677 All right. I did it in pencil like you said. 160 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:59,515 - Now I'm going over it in pen. - That's right. Nice and bold. 161 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:03,958 Bold and blue! I'll be upstairs if you need me, dear. 162 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,917 Right. 163 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,950 (DOOR JANGLES) 164 00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,431 Hello. Sorry to bother you again. 165 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,871 - We're just closing, actually. - It won't take long. 166 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:24,635 - It's just about this brooch. - Oh, didn't it fit? 167 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:28,435 It's not that. I wanted to ask where it came from. 168 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:31,831 - In there. - No, I mean originally. 169 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,157 I don't know. I've just started working here, I'm afraid. 170 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,511 I was under the impression these items were yours. 171 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:42,229 Yes, well, some of them are. Let's have a look at it. 172 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:45,352 You see, my wife had a brooch just like that. 173 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,551 - They're very common. - Yes, 174 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,836 but she was wearing it when she went missing. 175 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,278 Look, in this photograph. She's been missing ten months now. 176 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:58,156 They are very similar, but I'm afraid I can't help you. 177 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,436 May I look through the box? 178 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,309 Go ahead. I'll just be a minute gathering my things. 179 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,156 How long has she been missing now? 180 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:12,195 Ten months. A lot of women went missing in this area. 181 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,590 Around the time this circus came to town... 182 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,149 (GROWLS) She's my wife...! 183 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,755 Now, what the bloody hell's goin' on? 184 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:41,394 Dougal Siepp was the assistant manager. 185 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:44,279 He persuaded Mr Harris to branch out into cat films. 186 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,233 I was a bloody fool. Cat films are shit. 187 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,159 - What about "That Darn Cat"? - Oh, fuck off. 188 00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,311 There's not the variety in felines. 189 00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:55,392 But Siepp was a stubborn sod. He wouldn't give way. 190 00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,836 Then the rot spread. Films with tenuous links. 191 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,515 He tried to persuade me to put on "Pet Sematary". 192 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,558 I said, "We've got a rule. The mutt's the star." 193 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,029 - What does it say outside? - Dog Cinema. 194 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,596 Thank you. Tell him what was the last straw. 195 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,791 Mr Harris was in hospital. 196 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,912 With bowel cancer. Thank God they caught it early. 197 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,071 I come out, what were he showing? 198 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,748 - "Rock-A-Doodle". - "Rock-A-Flickin'-Doodle"! 199 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:24,195 I went apeshit. I screamed at him, 200 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:27,432 "Dougal Siepp, that movie is about a chicken that sings. 201 00:12:27,600 --> 00:12:29,830 "You know what's behind this venture. Clear your desk, 202 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,070 "get your Garfield and get out." 203 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,789 - Audiences were down 40%. - We've clawed our way back. 204 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:39,032 I've had an article about me in the "Winnipeg Post". 205 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,998 Canada. Think about that. 206 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:45,510 And it's not 'cause we show films about chickens. 207 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,351 Someone tell me what's going on! 208 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,318 - Where's Keith? - There is no Keith. 209 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:00,029 - Look at this. - So, who's this Papa Lazarus? 210 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,191 Papa Lazarou. 211 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,595 I wish I knew. He came here last year with that circus. 212 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:10,833 Wait a minute. I've got a poster for that somewhere. 213 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,918 - Is this it, dear? - Yes! That's the one. 214 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,475 Now, where is she? Where's my wife? 215 00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:19,274 You better talk, you bastard, or I'll call the police! 216 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,471 - No need to be rude, dear! - Talk! 217 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,278 - Kunjar! - What's he say? 218 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,471 (SHOUTS GIBBERISH) 219 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:29,076 - He's just toying with us. - She speaks French, Meryl. 220 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,748 - Meryl! - Do you know her? 221 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:36,471 - She ran off with a black man. - Quando siliabo catnip, catnip! 222 00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:40,753 - Let's get the police. - # Meinhor dria drieken 223 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,559 ♪ Drieken dria meinhor... ♪ 224 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,351 Where's Siepp? 225 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,878 (CAT SNARLS) 226 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:08,594 Kenny Harris. As I live and breathe. 227 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,553 - (DOG GROWLS) - (CAT SNARLS) 228 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,430 Here we go. What is it? 999, is it? 229 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,995 Wait. Let's think about this. 230 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:25,517 He'll never talk to the police. I might not see my wife again. 231 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,240 What, then? You're not leaving him here. 232 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:32,632 - I've got to do the book! - He has to lead us to her. 233 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:37,071 I know. Take him some food up on a tray. 234 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,475 Ooh! What did your last slave die of? 235 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:43,189 - Leave him a knife and fork. - Hang on! 236 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,709 If we leave him a knife, he'll escape. 237 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:48,718 Exactly. We let him escape, then we follow him. 238 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,511 You better be quick. 239 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:53,796 "Countdown" is on in half an hour. 240 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,391 (MIAOWING) 241 00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,518 Are you not out of business yet, Kenneth? 242 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:05,157 Quit carping, Siepp. We do video and DVD rental now. 243 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,915 - Know what my biggest title is? - I'm sure you'll tell me. 244 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:12,157 "Digby". "Digby - the Biggest Dog in the World." 245 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,715 What did you say about it? Can you remember? 246 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,798 Funnily enough...no. 247 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,794 That it were dated and no one would want to see it. 248 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,276 17 rentals in 22 weeks. Explain that. 249 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:29,189 Fortunate you're here, Harris. Just in time for the unveiling. 250 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,188 Mr Griffin, would you oblige? 251 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:37,751 - Bloody Nora! - (ORIENTAL EXCLAMATION) 252 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:40,595 Bastard's gone live! 253 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,792 (HUMS) Here we are, dear. I brought you some soup. 254 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,990 - Merci. - It's leek and potato. 255 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,038 - Good soup is that. - Kindly undo these bonds! 256 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,191 (SHRIEKS) 257 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,954 I'm afraid I can't do that, Mr Papa Lazarou. 258 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:07,238 If I undo those bags, you might take this knife 259 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:11,757 and try and escape through that open window over there. 260 00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,352 I am not Papa Lazarou. 261 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,394 Who are you, then? You're not my lovely Keith. 262 00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:28,468 - Why you do this to me, Reenie? - What's that? 263 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,035 (VINNIE'S VOICE) You killed me, Reenie. 264 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,351 You let that red bag fly out the window! 265 00:16:34,520 --> 00:16:37,398 - You're not my friend! - I'm frightened, Reenie. 266 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:43,192 - Please undo the bags! - You're not my friend! (SOBS) 267 00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:52,831 Checking the lens. Now we are prepared. 268 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,715 - Is this gonna be on the telly? - That is right. In the fall. 269 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,838 - What's your name again? - I am he called Dean. 270 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,958 Dean Tavalouris. 271 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,910 Now, which one of you beautiful daughters of Archimedes 272 00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,071 will furnish me with a cigarette? 273 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,800 Just one will be suffice. 274 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,235 May I take the pleasure? 275 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:26,351 Now I take a cigarette thusly. 276 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,873 (WHEEZES) 277 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:39,189 Soon it will be but a memory, like smoke in the wind. 278 00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:42,033 If you would shake the magic cloth. 279 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,760 - That's good! - Will you show me? 280 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,554 No, the magician's code forbids me... 281 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,075 (BOTH) Hey! 282 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,789 You two come in here. Check this guy out. 283 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,269 Do you know what this bloke can do? 284 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,670 - It's gonna be on telly. - Go on, then. Show us. 285 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,274 No, the magician's code forbids... 286 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:05,715 Fuck off. Show us. 287 00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,189 - He can make a fag disappear. - Whoo (!) 288 00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,716 - Bungo, leave him. - Give him a fag. Go on. 289 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,031 (COUGHS) 290 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:21,751 (MEEKLY) I take the fag thusly. Soon it will be but a memory. 291 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,480 - (FARTS) - You're mingin'! 292 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,035 Whoa! Where's your hand goin'? 293 00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,400 - Is that to put your cock in? - Absolute rubbish. 294 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,510 - Let me show you how it's done. - (GIRLS) Go on! 295 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,790 No! No! No! 296 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,320 Hey, Miggy. Bet this is worth a bit. 297 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,790 Please don't touch it! (SCREAMS) Don't touch it! 298 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,470 (LAUGHTER) 299 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,355 (BABBLES INSANELY) 300 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,679 - Come on. It'll be a laugh. - (GROANS) 301 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,991 I want more than that. Down. That's it. Down. 302 00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:13,920 (GIGGLING) 303 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:21,156 (WHEEZES) 304 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:44,519 Oh! 305 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,911 Oh, he's done all his work surfaces in that Corian. 306 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,917 Shh! 307 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,235 What's he done with her? 308 00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:08,269 He's clever. He's put 'em all into piles to bag 'em up. 309 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,796 He's got some good stuff in here. It's brand-new. 310 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,638 Come on. 311 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:19,634 (MUMBLES TO HERSELF) 312 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:49,479 He won't get much for these bras. They're all wet. Hee-hee! 313 00:20:49,640 --> 00:20:52,757 The Spastics' will be green when they see this lot. 314 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,480 - (WEEPING) - What's that? 315 00:20:57,120 --> 00:21:01,591 Oh, what's the matter, dear? Are you all right? 316 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:13,154 Don't cry, dear. I'll look after you. 317 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,396 I'm your friend. 318 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,234 I can't believe you fell for that one! 319 00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:21,829 (SCREAMS) 320 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,512 Hello, Dave. 321 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:37,314 You see, the thing that people don't realise about make-up 322 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,756 is you can tend to overdo it. 323 00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,434 It's much better to have too little 324 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,591 and then add on. 325 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:48,274 - Try telling your little girl. - Shut up! 326 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:52,556 I learned my skills from my wives. 327 00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:57,231 Each one of them has something different to offer. 328 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,868 Your wife, for example, 329 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:03,794 knows a great deal about curling eyelashes. 330 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,908 You didn't know that, did you? 331 00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,873 Perhaps you should have paid more attention to her. 332 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:16,959 - I know I did. - What have you done with her? 333 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:20,829 You know, I can't even remember if she's alive or dead. Simba? 334 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,713 - Yeah, boss. - Bring me the book of wives. 335 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:27,276 What? The book? He's not stole the book as well, has he? 336 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,431 - Ooh, Keith the thief! - Shut up! 337 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:34,111 - Here y'are, boss. - Now, what was my wife's name? 338 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:37,590 - Katie Morgan. - Dave. 339 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,919 Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave... 340 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,992 Ah... 341 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,033 - Is she alive? - Alive... 342 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:52,152 in a manner of speaking. 343 00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,676 Would you like to see what she looks like now? 344 00:22:55,840 --> 00:23:01,836 No. I think you'd much rather see her in the flesh. 345 00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,554 What's happenin'? What's happenin'? 346 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:19,915 (GRUFF VOICE) Ah, Dave, you are awake. Pleasant dreams? 347 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:23,749 - Where's my wife? - Tick-Tick. 348 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,155 (SIMBA LAUGHS) 349 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:35,351 Oh, Dave. Someone to see you, Dave. 350 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:43,994 - Help me! - Katie?! 351 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,634 - Help me, Brian! - Show him what you can do. 352 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,751 Up! Up! 353 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,231 You're going to be an elephant. 354 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,874 (ALL LAUGH) 355 00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,551 (MANIACAL LAUGHTER) 356 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:07,638 Anybody there? I need to go to the toilet. 357 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,754 (CAMP VOICE) Lovely day, isn't it? 358 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:30,111 (PHONE RINGS) 359 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,639 Keith Drop. (GRUFF) How are the animals? 360 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,915 So we just need one more wife for the elephant. 361 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,469 (CAMP VOICE) Excuse me. You dropped this. 362 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,240 (KEITH) Oh, God! Are you all right? 363 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,113 - Tony? - Don't try to speak. 364 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,392 If not for that St Christopher, you'd be dead by now. 365 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:11,997 - It's fate, Tony. - Come on. Back to the shop. 366 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,714 (PAULINE) You saved my life! 367 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:18,077 - Beauty and the beast. - What's that? 368 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,231 Beauty and the beast. 369 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:25,599 Hmm... Tell me. (GRUFF) Do you like animals? 370 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,398 Charlie? Charlie? 371 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:41,396 I just heard a massive noise. I'm gonna find out what it was. 372 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,034 Stay back. Stay back. 373 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,075 What's happened? 374 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:56,439 - Just tell me what happened. - Will you get out of the way? 375 00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,991 - Shit! - (GEOFF) Who's that? 376 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,993 We're tryin' to do a job here. 377 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,791 Bugger off. Show some respect for the dead. 378 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,873 (INAUDIBLE) 379 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,276 You may kiss the bride. 380 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,788 (INAUDIBLE) 381 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,190 (LAUGHTER) 382 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,316 (MOANS) 383 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,075 (INAUDIBLE) 384 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,590 (BABY CRIES) 385 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,956 (BARBARA) My beautiful darlings. Shh! 386 00:28:16,006 --> 00:28:20,556 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 29607

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