All language subtitles for The Curious Creations of Christine Mcconnell s01e05 A Cake for Rose

[Rankle]
On the top of a dark and distant mountain,

there is a beautiful and talented woman

who uses her unique skills of baking,
sculpting and sewing

to create delicious confections
and hauntingly disturbing decor.

She finds beauty in the art of darkness
with each creation

and shares them with us,

the unusual creatures
she has taken into her home.

Join us in her delightfully dark world.

Welcome to...

Good morning, boys.
Any idea what today is?

Gods, no! Again? That just happened!

What?

Oh! I don't think I can survive
another one!

It's Rose's birthday.

- [Rankle] Oh.
- What's a birthday?

Well, only the most exciting day
out of the whole year.

But no one really knows the actual date

that Rose's mother gave birth
in that dumpster.

True, which is why we celebrate

the day I brought Rose back to life
as her birthday.

Was Rose really born in a dumpster?

Oh, who knows?

I just like picturing her being swaddled
in a used diaper.

- Sadly, so does she.
- [laughs]

Those details aren't important.

The cake, however, is.

Morning! What are you doing today?

We're gonna make a cake for Norman.

He's coming over later.

Oh, Norman again?

Just can't get enough of me.

I have that effect on men.
They can't shake me.

We know! You make the clap seem
like a fun rash!

[hisses]

Rose, I am so glad you're here
because I have a huge favor to ask of you.

[groans] What's in it for me?

You'll find out.

[groans]

Would you mind going down and spending
the day cleaning up Bernard's room?

I know Bernard would really like
to meet Norman.

But it's dark down there!

I wasn't built for cleaning!

I was built for lying in my nest,

eating chocolates
and select pieces of garbage.

Why don't you get one of them to do it?

Wait...

I know what this is.
You're asking me 'cause I'm a girl.

Sexist house!

Hop to it, Cinderella!

They'll be plenty busy up here, I promise.
Will you do this for me?

I'd really appreciate it.

[sighs] Fine.

But Norman better give me
a foot massage when he gets here.

My dogs are barking.

Let Bernard know
that the post woman should be out

of the hospital next week.
I know she'd love to see him.

[Rose] Yeah, whatever.

I can't believe they asked me
to clean the basement.

It's a basement!
It doesn't need to be clean!

Basements are where you put garbage!
[sighs]

I can't believe they forgot my birthday.
[scoffs]

Making a birthday cake for someone
that you love is the perfect opportunity

to not only have a ton of fun yourself,

but also to really make something
unique and...

Hey, what part can I help with?

Yes, just how much dog hair
does this recipe call for?

Maybe if you guys could help me
right over there.

Yeah, we can do that.

Come on, Rankle.

Careful, now. I'm a museum piece.

- [bones crack]
- [Rankle shouts]

- Watch it! That snapped off once before.
- [Edgar] Sorry.

As I was saying,

this is a perfect opportunity
to really tailor a birthday cake

for someone that you love.

So, my plan today is to make
a creature cake in the shape of Rose.

Why did you use
so many different kinds of cake?

Well, as you know,

Rose is comprised
of several different species,

and I thought it would be fun to do
the same sort of thing with cake.

It'll also be fun because if we have
any picky eaters at our party tonight,

they'll have plenty of options, and
everyone should have something they love.

Yeah. Okay.

So, the different flavors
we're doing today

are going to be chocolate
with cream cheese frosting,

cherry with Swiss buttercream,

vanilla with American buttercream

and strawberry shortcake
with vanilla buttercream.

[smacks lips]

So, using my cream cheese frosting
in a piping bag,

I'm going to pipe a border
around the base layer,

fill it in, even it out
and just begin the stacking process.

I'm going to continue this process
and stack each flavor separately.

Then I will join
all four flavors together,

each representing a corner
of Rose's torso.

So as I've mentioned before,
with a sculptural cake,

keeping everything as cold as possible

is going to be your best friend.

So, I'm going to work
in little ten to 15 minute intervals,

chilling and continuing the process,
back and forth,

until all four flavors are stacked
and frosted.

[Rose sighing]

You should've seen the way
they were acting, Bernard.

- It was totally weird.
- [growling]

Yes, weirder than usual.

They're up to something,
and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it!

[growls]

Ugh! No!

They are not gonna let you
into the hospital to visit the mail lady.

You bit off her leg.
You can't bring herflowerss

Stupid idiot.

Well, quit crying.

I'm the one who's gotta scrub up
all this stupid blood!

What, do we got a hemophiliac in here?

There's not a single clot!

[sighs] It's getting heavy.

As you can see,
I put all four flavors together.

I shaved off the outer corners
of the cake to give Rose's torso

a nice rounded shape

and inserted dowel rods for the legs.

I've also carved out a cavity

that I'm going to frost and put
a surprise in, but you'll see later.

So I'm just going to continue
frosting this,

building it out
with more layers of buttercream.

And once I have a shape I like,

I'll pipe on hair and use an airbrush
to add some color detail to her fur.

[Rose] Hey, Christine!

[both] Oh.

Where do you keep the stone polish?

[scoffs] It's in the cupboard
that's labeled "stone polish."

Oh. That makes sense.

[Rankle]
Literacy has never been your strong suit.

Neither has hygiene, manners,
nor a base level of intelligence.

Hey! I don't respond well
to standardized tests.

Don't listen to him.

I'm sure you're doing an amazing job.

Norman's gonna be so proud of you.

I need some of Millie's Jell-O salad.

Bernard is very hungry!

[sighs] Well...

I have Bernard's snack, so...

I guess I'm leaving.

Bye.

Is the coast clear?

Oh, it's clear. The floor is a mess,
but the coast is clear.

Okay.

As I was saying,
I'm gonna continue frosting this

and chilling it
and as soon as I'm done with that,

I can start on all of the fun details,

the fingers, the teeth,
the nose, the eyes,

my favorite parts.

[grunts, shouts]

Christine said it was a cake for Norman.

But I saw it.

Bernard, it's no cake.

It was a body!

Made up of animal parts!

I mean, ugh!

I don't know if she misses you.

You bit off her leg!

So my guess is no!

Can we focus on me?

Christine is up there right now
making my replacement!

So while the body sets up in the fridge,

I'm going to make the eyes, the teeth
and the nose and the feet out

of modeling chocolate.

I'm using white for the eyes,

chocolate for the feet and the nose

and then some white modeling chocolate
that I tinted pink for the tongue.

Wow.

I'm going to quickly make Rose's tongue.

To get the shape I want, I'm using
small chunks of modeling chocolate

to prop it up, then texturize it
with a sculpting tool.

So I'm just gonna allow this to set
at room temperature

while I work on the teeth.

So a technique I like for making teeth

with modeling chocolate...

is to mold a shape like that...

and cut it down the middle.

So you have a matching set that can go on
either side.

While we allow those to set,
I'm gonna start making her nose.

Having the face nearby is really helpful
during this process

so you get the proportion correct.

So now, I'm creating an eye socket

for the eyes to fall into.

Making the head was easy and fun.

I made it using two round cakes,
stacked them together after they cooled,

carved out the eyes and used extra bits
for the mouth, nose and ears,

which I then attached, using royal icing.

All right, that depth looks even.

I think we're ready now
to black out the mouth.

Don't worry if you don't fill it all in.

You're going to need to go over it
with a brush to make it even.

Using a little bit of water

and a brush,
you can smooth royal icing very easily.

And now it's time to get some divots
on the nose.

Even though these small
modeling chocolate parts have set

for the most part,

they're still pliable and very fragile,

so be gentle when placing them.

Royal icing can act as a great adhesive.

I'm using it to hold the tongue and teeth
in place inside the mouth.

So, for the very small teeth,

I've decided to use white royal icing
to pipe them into place.

- What do you guys think?
- This is really starting to look like her.

Thank the gods it doesn't smell like her.

[Rose] Hey, Christine!

Where do we keep the garbage bags?

They're in the container
marked "garbage bags."

Oh. That makes sense.

Well...

Then I guess that answers my question.

I guess I'm gonna go.

I think she might be on to us,
except she's an idiot.

[sighs] Boy, that was pretty close!

Should we tie her up and blindfold her
so she won't spoil your surprise?

Oh, please?

It would be
the best birthday present ever, for me!

Well,
I think I'm at a good stopping point.

I'm going to get changed
for tonight's party,

and then work on Rose's birthday present.

I'm gonna make her
some pretty princess fairy wings.

Fairy princess?

Are we also making a tiara
for the toilet?

Um...
why would the drinking bowl need a tiara?

Oh, God! Even your breath is haunted!

What I need you to do,
Edgar, is guard the door,

so she doesn't come up from the basement
again, while I work on her present.

Guard the door? Yeah. I can do that, yeah.

- Thanks.
- I'm on it.

[muttering]

I am so cold...

[shouts]

It sounds like our old mailman is giving
Edgar a piece of his mind.

Literally. [cackles]

Wonderful.

So, here is a great way to make batwings
for the little devil in your life.

So for Rose's special day,

I was thinking
of making something really unique

that you can sort of make

with supplies you probably have
around your own home.

The first thing you want to do is outline
the skeleton

of what you're gonna be making

on either, like, a laminate or a plastic.

Something that the latex,
when you apply it,

it will peel right off,
it's not gonna adhere too firmly.

You're just gonna draw your base shape.

So once you have an outline
you can live with,

the next step is to create
the base skeleton,

using just some bendable wire
that you have around the house

or is easy to find a local hardware store.

You're gonna trace over it with the wire,

bending it as you go.

And I'm using a thicker wire

along the main line,

and then I'll be using a thinner wire

for those little fingers.

Once you've established your baseline,

you can cut wire.

Getting it to lay flat is really critical,

so make sure to really take your time
with this first wire.

Now I'm going to take the thinner wire

and go out to create that first finger.

Keep in mind but this is going to be
the thing closest to the body,

so you can build this out thicker

and then sort of taper off
as you get closer to the end.

So we're gonna see a bend,

and that's where you're gonna stop
with the first wire

and go out to create that first finger.

You don't want sharp edges,
so don't do any of those.

Just bend the wire back on itself

and twist it around.

And you just keep going,

making fingers one at a time,

until your piece is complete.

What do you think?

Oh, pretty good for someone
who's just winging it. [laughs]

- [mocks]
- I wrote that.

All right, so we're gonna tape it down

right at the base

and begin with the first layer of latex,

which will become the first layer of skin
for the wing.

This is where you'll be really happy
that you used permanent marker.

Otherwise,
it would be staining your latex.

So, once you get that first coat on,

you're gonna want
to start stippling the latex.

Stippling means applying paint or latex
by blotting with a paintbrush.

And this will accomplish two things.

It'll prevent the latex from rolling up
on itself, which is not what you want.

And it will also give it
a skin-like texture.

So the next step is going to begin

layering a skin using tissue paper.

You can use napkins.

There's a variety of things that'll work.

So, once you have your paper attached,

slicing off the excess and tucking
the rest underneath...

should create a nice smooth surface
to continue building on.

And you're just gonna keep building
these layers

of tissue and latex up upon itself,

keeping in mind you want the skin
thickest at the base,

tapering off to the thinnest at the end.

For these wings, I alternated roughly
30 layers of latex and tissue paper.

Now, to join those two wings,

you place them both side by side,

twist those wires together just a bit

and then bind them
with more latex and more tissue paper.

So when you're finished,
it should look something like this.

So we're going to begin painting this,

and acrylic is the way to go.

Oil-based paints will take
too long to dry.

And you want to continue stippling
the paint, adding texture to the wing.

And you want that transition of shades
to be as smooth

and seamless as possible,

so if you stipple long enough,

you'll end up with this perfect transition
of shading.

What do you think?

You know, batwings are perfect for Rose.

She already smells like guano.

[laughs]

[sobbing]

[growls]

Don't try to make me feel better.
I'm finished!

Ugh! Which is why they are upstairs

working on a newer model as we speak!

[growls]

And do you know why?

It's because I'm an idiot! [sobbing]

[growls]

Let's face it, Bernard.

I've let myself go.

I'm not the young beauty I once was.

Even the neighborhood dogs run from me.

And they used to love
our dirty tickle parties!

Now they're all like,
"Ooh, focusing on my career right now.

Ooh. Can we see other people?"

[growls]

You're right.

You're absolutely right.

[laughing]

Well, if they don't want me at my worst,

then I'm gonna burn down
this goddamn house!

[cackling]

[Rankle] Will those wings work?

What do you mean "work?"

Can Rose use them to fly off
to a land far far away?

No.

Then what good are they?

Well, they're just a fun costume,

and when paired with this pretty pink
scepter that I made for her,

should make Rose feel like the fairest
in all the land.

[groans]

I think I am just about done with these.

- What do you think? Aren't these precious?
- [Edgar] Hmm?

I don't know. I can't see from in here.

Hold on.

[sighs, laughs]

Yeah. Oh!

Yeah, those are very pretty.

Die! Die! Die! Die!

Oh, the trapdoor.

Rose, what are you doing?

I'm gonna burn this house of lies right
to the ground!

[Christine]
Did you clean the basement first?

No! And you're not the boss of me!

Stupid! Fire!

I warned you this would happen one day.

I told you the rabies would eventually
infect her brains!

- Shut up, you stupid cat!
- What...?

We're living in Hades now!

Rose, what have I said about arson?

"Never leave evidence."

And what have you done here?

Your fingerprints are all over
that gas can.

Sweetie, they would have traced this
right back to you.

No! You were gonna replace me!

So now, I'm leaving this house.

Forever!

Ra be praised! This is finally happening!

I'm leaving this place,

and nobody can stop me.

I don't care anymore. [gasping]

There's my birthday girl.

Happy Birthday, Rose.

[sniffs]

- Surprise!
- What?

Happy birthday, Rose.

I made you these fairy wings
for your special day as Princess Rose.

Wait, so...

You guys don't think that I'm ugly
and that I'm trashy?

No, you're a pretty little princess.

[Rankle gagging]

Excuse me, false alarm.

- And I'm a real classy girl, too, right?
- What?

- Let's get your wings on.
- Okay.

Oh, please!

Wow!

My very own fairy wings!

Oh. Here's your scepter.

- Oh. Wow.
- Christine made it.

And I guarded the door.

Mostly.

Thanks, Edgar.

Wait, so...

you guys didn't forget my birthday?

I'm the one who made you.
I would never forget that special day.

But I wish I could. Oh, the smell!

What about that carcass,

in the kitchen,

that you were stitching together
to replace me?

- Replace you? Is that what you thought?
- Yeah.

Why don't you come into the dining room
with me and I'll show you?

[Rose] What?

[Christine] Rose, this is how you looked
the day I made you.

Oh, my...

[gasps] This was me?

It was. And you are just as beautiful
today as you were then.

Aww.

- Are you ready for your big surprise?
- What?

But you already gave her the wings.

- It's a surprise to all of you.
- [Rose gasps]

What?

What is this?

Whoa!

- Are you ready?
- Yeah!

[gasps]

It's the dumpster of my dreams!
Then I really am a fairy princess!

Thank you, Christine.

Of course.

I'm so happy you like it.

I love it!

- Happy Birthday, Rose.
- Thank you.

Hey, you know what? I'll cut the cake.

[Christine] Oh, thank you.

I'm pretty handy with a knife.

I'll get the plates.

[speaks Latin]

[growls]

[muttering]

- [chuckles] Sorry. The cake?
- Oh.

Oh. Right.

So weird.

[sighs]

Cake is served.

Hey, Bernard!

I brought you some birthday cake. Yeah.

Here we go.

Oh, man, anytime!

Thanks again for lending me an ear today.

Speaking of which.

Now, make sure you give that back
to the mail lady.

I got to go back to my party! Love you!

Man! Remember that time
when I almost burned everybody?

[laughs]

Hey! Do you think my wings actually work?

"Actually work?" Christine made them!

Of course they do.

Oh!

[Rankle laughs]

[Edgar] She's a raccoon.

Oh, that was easy.

Have you been following the news lately?

Some local madman has been picking off
sex offenders in the area.

Well, then Rose should be scared to death.

[Norman laughing]

Speaking of Rose, where is she?

[Rose] I can fly! [shouts]

[laughs] Hilarious.

Best birthday ever.

I loved my birthday, Christine.

Did we really manage to surprise you?

Yeah!
I was really gonna burn the house down.

I'm sorry.

It's okay. I always hide the matches.

I can't believe I thought
you would replace me.

As if perfection happens twice.

[laughs] You know, you're always gonna be
my little tiny princess,

and I'll love you forever.

- Love you, Christine.
- I love you, too.

[both] Good night.

[sighs] Yeah.

Just in case.

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