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MILLER: Morning, students! Please settle.
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00:00:04,509 --> 00:00:08,277
"What is this..." A-S... "assembly about?"
3
00:00:08,279 --> 00:00:10,313
I don't know. Ray, what is this about?
4
00:00:10,315 --> 00:00:11,280
Shh!
5
00:00:11,282 --> 00:00:12,782
It's a celebration of the Mexican
6
00:00:12,784 --> 00:00:14,450
D�a de Los Muertos holiday.
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00:00:14,452 --> 00:00:16,352
What? [LAUGHS] Come on, man.
8
00:00:16,355 --> 00:00:18,031
That was just Dylan messing with you.
9
00:00:19,724 --> 00:00:21,891
- [LAUGHTER]
- You're kidding.
10
00:00:21,893 --> 00:00:23,993
Sorry, Ray. It's Homecoming Week.
11
00:00:23,995 --> 00:00:25,428
Prank season, baby.
12
00:00:25,430 --> 00:00:27,163
MILLER: Can I have your attention, please?
13
00:00:27,165 --> 00:00:30,933
I-It's a very exciting
time. It's Homecoming Week.
14
00:00:30,935 --> 00:00:34,370
And Lafayette is
welcoming our new students!
15
00:00:34,372 --> 00:00:36,873
Now, who better to
welcome them to Lafayette
16
00:00:36,875 --> 00:00:39,042
than Lafayette himself?
17
00:00:39,044 --> 00:00:40,143
What?
18
00:00:40,145 --> 00:00:41,911
From the hit musical "Hamilton"?
19
00:00:41,913 --> 00:00:43,146
STUDENT: Don't rap!
20
00:00:43,148 --> 00:00:45,848
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS]
21
00:00:45,850 --> 00:00:47,717
Throw your hands in the air!
22
00:00:47,719 --> 00:00:49,052
[FEEDBACK]
23
00:00:49,054 --> 00:00:51,621
[RAPPING] ? Je suis Lafayette,
and I'm here to say ?
24
00:00:51,623 --> 00:00:53,990
? My school is so inclusive,
and JJ paved the way ?
25
00:00:53,992 --> 00:00:56,225
? We've got some new students,
or should I say friends ?
26
00:00:56,227 --> 00:00:58,461
? I'm 'bout to introduce
them, so whip out them pens ?
27
00:00:58,463 --> 00:01:01,064
? We have Cody who has
autism, and Nora with CP ?
28
00:01:01,066 --> 00:01:03,533
? Davey's blind, and Bella
has muscular dystrophy ?
29
00:01:03,535 --> 00:01:05,334
I say "muscular." You say "dystrophy."
30
00:01:05,336 --> 00:01:08,071
Dystrophy! Yes, girl! Look at her go!
31
00:01:08,073 --> 00:01:10,339
She got moves, man. Unh!
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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00:01:14,345 --> 00:01:16,946
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
34
00:01:16,948 --> 00:01:21,717
"Stacey, your shirt has a stain on it."
35
00:01:21,719 --> 00:01:24,587
[LAUGHING] Oh! Every time!
36
00:01:24,589 --> 00:01:26,789
I'm gonna get you one
of these days, DiMeo.
37
00:01:27,759 --> 00:01:29,125
Dang, that was smooth.
38
00:01:29,127 --> 00:01:31,894
You got an extra laser I
can borrow this weekend?
39
00:01:31,896 --> 00:01:34,363
Coming through. Excuse me.
40
00:01:34,365 --> 00:01:40,970
?
41
00:01:40,972 --> 00:01:43,406
Seriously? You're just
gonna leave an aide hanging?
42
00:01:43,408 --> 00:01:45,274
- Okay.
- Oh, my God.
43
00:01:45,276 --> 00:01:48,344
You and Nora are so cute together.
44
00:01:48,346 --> 00:01:50,613
"The girl who just passed me?"
45
00:01:50,615 --> 00:01:53,282
Um, we could all feel the electricity.
46
00:01:53,284 --> 00:01:54,617
Something to think about.
47
00:01:56,321 --> 00:01:58,521
So it begins.
48
00:01:58,523 --> 00:01:59,822
They're shipping you.
49
00:02:00,758 --> 00:02:02,658
When people are dying
to get a couple together,
50
00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:04,627
like Khaleesi and Jon Snow
51
00:02:04,629 --> 00:02:06,529
or Mulder and Scully.
52
00:02:06,531 --> 00:02:08,231
"But why her?"
53
00:02:08,233 --> 00:02:09,750
Because you both got CP.
54
00:02:09,753 --> 00:02:11,667
It's like when people
always try to get me to date
55
00:02:11,669 --> 00:02:12,969
their only black friend.
56
00:02:12,971 --> 00:02:15,204
"That's... stupid."
57
00:02:15,206 --> 00:02:18,708
That's shipping for
you... Horny profiling.
58
00:02:18,710 --> 00:02:22,578
?
59
00:02:22,580 --> 00:02:24,580
Oi! Is Ray in there with his girlfriend?
60
00:02:24,582 --> 00:02:25,548
And what does that sign mean?
61
00:02:25,550 --> 00:02:26,849
I think it means what it says...
62
00:02:26,851 --> 00:02:28,551
"I don't respect you or your rules,
63
00:02:28,553 --> 00:02:30,753
and I want to make you a grandmother."
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00:02:32,190 --> 00:02:34,257
[INHALES DEEPLY] Cover yourselves!
65
00:02:34,259 --> 00:02:36,859
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- I will not have my children's room
66
00:02:36,861 --> 00:02:38,494
turned into a den of iniquity.
67
00:02:38,496 --> 00:02:40,763
Mom, we're talking about our 401(K)s.
68
00:02:40,765 --> 00:02:43,966
Oh, spare me the cute names for
your "Eyes Wide Shut" depravity!
69
00:02:43,968 --> 00:02:45,902
Wait... Oh.
70
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:48,704
Wait. Do you mean like a 401(K)
like the... the money thingy?
71
00:02:48,706 --> 00:02:51,474
Oh, my God. This skin.
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00:02:51,476 --> 00:02:53,075
We realized that even if
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00:02:53,077 --> 00:02:55,211
we max out our retirement
contributions...
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00:02:55,213 --> 00:02:56,479
Which you know we will.
75
00:02:56,481 --> 00:02:58,648
We'll still end up crawling
into our golden years
76
00:02:58,650 --> 00:03:00,683
with, what, 165 grand?
77
00:03:00,685 --> 00:03:02,885
What's that gonna buy us in 2067?
78
00:03:02,887 --> 00:03:06,010
A semi-private room in some
bad neighborhood on Mars?
79
00:03:06,013 --> 00:03:07,779
Bloody hell. Is this
why you needed privacy?
80
00:03:07,782 --> 00:03:09,215
Yeah, why else would we need it?
81
00:03:09,218 --> 00:03:10,993
Oh, yeah, no, why else? Why else?
82
00:03:10,995 --> 00:03:12,828
Gosh, I don't know.
83
00:03:12,830 --> 00:03:14,130
?
84
00:03:14,132 --> 00:03:16,539
- [LAUGHING] You okay?
- Oh, my God.
85
00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:18,475
I'm so glad we're not
like Ray and Taylor.
86
00:03:18,478 --> 00:03:20,296
I'm with you on Ray, but Taylor?
87
00:03:20,299 --> 00:03:22,099
- That skin!
- I know.
88
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,735
But they talk and they talk,
89
00:03:23,738 --> 00:03:25,304
and they worry about the future...
90
00:03:25,307 --> 00:03:27,609
I mean, things you and I
haven't even thought about yet.
91
00:03:27,612 --> 00:03:29,879
They're getting a 401(K) thingy.
92
00:03:29,881 --> 00:03:31,247
We have a 401(K).
93
00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:32,381
Oh, well, that's a relief.
94
00:03:32,383 --> 00:03:33,816
Is it? Oh. I'll get one.
95
00:03:33,818 --> 00:03:35,184
But I love the way we live.
96
00:03:35,186 --> 00:03:37,086
We don't overanalyze things.
97
00:03:37,088 --> 00:03:39,088
We don't plan things to death.
98
00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:41,257
These aren't bills, they're a fan.
99
00:03:41,259 --> 00:03:43,526
That's not a fan, it's broken.
100
00:03:43,528 --> 00:03:46,229
But we sent Ray so far
in the other direction.
101
00:03:46,231 --> 00:03:48,931
I think we made him weird.
102
00:03:48,933 --> 00:03:52,368
I'm a big nature-over-nurture guy.
103
00:03:52,370 --> 00:03:53,669
It makes parenting a lot easier.
104
00:03:53,671 --> 00:03:56,606
?
105
00:03:56,608 --> 00:03:58,407
Hi, everyone. Dylan DiMeo.
106
00:03:58,409 --> 00:03:59,842
I'm usually not much of a joiner,
107
00:03:59,844 --> 00:04:01,611
but I'm so pumped for this meeting.
108
00:04:01,613 --> 00:04:03,279
I've been studying up
on our school's pranks
109
00:04:03,281 --> 00:04:04,280
through the ages.
110
00:04:04,282 --> 00:04:05,281
These yearbooks?
111
00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:06,749
Don't let the word "book" scare you...
112
00:04:06,751 --> 00:04:07,750
They're money!
113
00:04:07,752 --> 00:04:09,452
Dylan, do you know why we're here?
114
00:04:09,454 --> 00:04:10,920
Like the sign said...
115
00:04:10,922 --> 00:04:12,255
"Student Council Prank Meeting."
116
00:04:12,257 --> 00:04:14,423
Right, to discuss our school-wide
117
00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:16,626
"No pranks" initiative we've instituted.
118
00:04:16,628 --> 00:04:18,261
The council voted unanimously,
119
00:04:18,263 --> 00:04:21,197
and the student body
agrees... No more pranks.
120
00:04:21,199 --> 00:04:22,732
The time has come to move past
121
00:04:22,734 --> 00:04:24,800
micro-aggressions
masquerading as tradition.
122
00:04:24,802 --> 00:04:28,037
But I love micro-aggressions
masquerading as tradition!
123
00:04:28,039 --> 00:04:31,007
Check out this crew
from the Class of '67...
124
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,892
The Prankenstein Monsters?
125
00:04:32,895 --> 00:04:35,211
They waterproofed the principal's office
126
00:04:35,213 --> 00:04:36,946
and turned it into a fishbowl.
127
00:04:36,948 --> 00:04:38,281
A fishbowl!
128
00:04:38,283 --> 00:04:40,549
What happened to the fish afterwards?
129
00:04:40,551 --> 00:04:42,184
They stayed fish!
130
00:04:42,186 --> 00:04:44,253
Look, you guys, we're kids.
131
00:04:44,255 --> 00:04:46,989
We have our whole lives to
be cautious and sensitive.
132
00:04:46,991 --> 00:04:49,425
That's all adulthood
is... Worrying about fish.
133
00:04:49,427 --> 00:04:51,560
Let's be young and fun together.
134
00:04:51,562 --> 00:04:53,262
Who's with me?
135
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:57,133
[SCOFFS]
136
00:04:57,135 --> 00:04:59,935
?
137
00:04:59,937 --> 00:05:03,572
I am so not voting for
any of you next year.
138
00:05:03,574 --> 00:05:06,976
JJ, we have the most genius idea.
139
00:05:06,978 --> 00:05:08,678
You should date Nora.
140
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,012
[LAUGHTER]
141
00:05:10,014 --> 00:05:13,149
[SIGHS]
142
00:05:13,151 --> 00:05:15,985
You know who you should date? Nora.
143
00:05:15,987 --> 00:05:17,353
I feel like this could've waited.
144
00:05:17,355 --> 00:05:19,855
?
145
00:05:19,857 --> 00:05:21,357
Want to cut in front of me?
146
00:05:23,995 --> 00:05:25,127
You're JJ.
147
00:05:25,129 --> 00:05:27,196
"And you're Nora."
148
00:05:27,198 --> 00:05:28,464
And together we're...
149
00:05:28,466 --> 00:05:30,232
- Jora!
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
150
00:05:30,234 --> 00:05:31,567
It's offensive.
151
00:05:31,569 --> 00:05:34,123
Even my silent goon aide
thinks we should be together.
152
00:05:35,707 --> 00:05:39,508
"How long can this..."
S-H... "...shipping go on?"
153
00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:40,810
Shippers never give up.
154
00:05:40,812 --> 00:05:42,611
Fighting it only makes them ship harder.
155
00:05:42,613 --> 00:05:44,380
Why don't we give them
what they want, then?
156
00:05:44,382 --> 00:05:45,915
Let's date.
157
00:05:45,917 --> 00:05:47,982
"Nora, I'm flattered, but..."
158
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:50,319
I'll finish the thought. You seem mean.
159
00:05:50,321 --> 00:05:53,155
Not a real relationship. A fake one.
160
00:05:53,157 --> 00:05:54,323
Give the babies their bottles,
161
00:05:54,325 --> 00:05:55,825
then break up and get on with our lives.
162
00:05:55,827 --> 00:05:56,810
Huh.
163
00:05:56,813 --> 00:05:58,861
Y-You know what I kind
of like about that plan?
164
00:05:58,863 --> 00:06:01,197
You in a relationship makes other girls
165
00:06:01,199 --> 00:06:02,598
see you as dateable.
166
00:06:04,736 --> 00:06:07,703
"I guess it's Jora time."
167
00:06:07,705 --> 00:06:10,239
It's happening!
168
00:06:10,241 --> 00:06:11,874
?
169
00:06:11,876 --> 00:06:13,409
Ray, I need your help.
170
00:06:13,411 --> 00:06:15,044
The kids at school stink.
171
00:06:15,046 --> 00:06:16,345
You and I are gonna pull off
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00:06:16,347 --> 00:06:19,215
a giant brother-sister homecoming prank.
173
00:06:19,217 --> 00:06:21,317
Dylan, we're trying
to plan a future here.
174
00:06:21,319 --> 00:06:23,285
We don't have time for micro-aggressions
175
00:06:23,287 --> 00:06:25,020
masquerading as tradition.
176
00:06:25,022 --> 00:06:25,988
[GASPS]
177
00:06:25,990 --> 00:06:27,156
You.
178
00:06:27,158 --> 00:06:28,324
You did this.
179
00:06:28,326 --> 00:06:29,825
You're welcome to use the suggestion box
180
00:06:29,827 --> 00:06:30,993
just as much as I am.
181
00:06:30,995 --> 00:06:32,294
[GRUNTS]
182
00:06:32,296 --> 00:06:33,729
Okay, back to reality.
183
00:06:33,731 --> 00:06:34,997
In 2040,
184
00:06:34,999 --> 00:06:36,699
we'll move to Scottsdale
because of the...
185
00:06:36,701 --> 00:06:39,702
BOTH: Low income tax and
solar-based energy grid.
186
00:06:39,704 --> 00:06:41,103
But we'll need a house that's big enough
187
00:06:41,105 --> 00:06:42,605
for us, our kids,
188
00:06:42,607 --> 00:06:44,707
and maybe both of our
special-needs brothers.
189
00:06:44,709 --> 00:06:47,843
I'm Logan's only sibling,
so can JJ live with Dylan?
190
00:06:47,845 --> 00:06:51,447
She'd be open to that,
but would her husband?
191
00:06:51,449 --> 00:06:54,316
She'd need to marry someone who
loves JJ and wants him around.
192
00:06:54,318 --> 00:06:56,585
Hey, y'all hear this
mess about Lafayette
193
00:06:56,587 --> 00:06:58,287
banning homecoming pranks?
194
00:06:58,289 --> 00:06:59,355
The hell!
195
00:06:59,357 --> 00:07:00,556
[DING!]
196
00:07:00,558 --> 00:07:07,196
?
197
00:07:07,198 --> 00:07:09,647
Root beer... You both like root beer.
198
00:07:09,650 --> 00:07:10,834
What is this? What are you doing?
199
00:07:10,836 --> 00:07:12,147
We're not doing anything.
200
00:07:12,150 --> 00:07:14,002
But when something's meant to be,
201
00:07:14,005 --> 00:07:15,389
it just happens itself.
202
00:07:15,392 --> 00:07:16,604
What's with the weird looks?
203
00:07:16,607 --> 00:07:17,940
Can I just get back to my sandwich?
204
00:07:17,942 --> 00:07:20,643
You know who loves sandwiches?
205
00:07:20,645 --> 00:07:23,112
This eligible bachelorette.
206
00:07:23,114 --> 00:07:25,314
- Did you see that look?
- Chills.
207
00:07:25,316 --> 00:07:26,348
Wait a second!
208
00:07:26,350 --> 00:07:27,817
Are you trying to ship me and Dylan?
209
00:07:27,819 --> 00:07:28,954
Oh, gross!
210
00:07:28,957 --> 00:07:32,521
Not until you're 18! Just
promise yourself to him.
211
00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:34,190
- Ray, what are you doing?
- What have we told you
212
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:36,325
about trying to marry
off your sister, Ray?
213
00:07:36,327 --> 00:07:37,760
Somebody rich!
214
00:07:37,762 --> 00:07:39,395
You guys ruin everything!
215
00:07:39,397 --> 00:07:40,596
If they don't get together,
216
00:07:40,598 --> 00:07:42,531
it is bye-bye Scottsdale
for Taylor and me.
217
00:07:42,533 --> 00:07:43,466
We're doomed!
218
00:07:43,468 --> 00:07:44,967
Ray, pull yourself together!
219
00:07:44,969 --> 00:07:47,036
Ooh! May I do that again?
It was very satisfying.
220
00:07:47,038 --> 00:07:50,072
Sorry! Darling, you are weird.
221
00:07:50,074 --> 00:07:52,962
And, Taylor, you're far too
pretty for this nonsense.
222
00:07:52,965 --> 00:07:54,344
Your father and I are to blame.
223
00:07:54,347 --> 00:07:56,178
We broke you, and
we're going to fix you.
224
00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:57,392
- How?
- Yeah, how?
225
00:07:57,395 --> 00:07:59,448
We're gonna teach you to let
go, stop thinking so much.
226
00:07:59,450 --> 00:08:01,383
- Let's take them on a double date tomorrow.
- That sounds fun.
227
00:08:01,385 --> 00:08:03,424
We have been looking for couple friends.
228
00:08:03,427 --> 00:08:04,760
So weird.
229
00:08:07,417 --> 00:08:10,818
? I've got a crush on you ?
230
00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:14,288
? I hope you love me, too ?
231
00:08:14,290 --> 00:08:17,058
? I've got a crush on you ?
232
00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:21,128
? With a love that is so true ?
233
00:08:21,130 --> 00:08:25,032
? I know we could share ?
234
00:08:25,034 --> 00:08:28,436
? Our love's beyond compare ?
235
00:08:28,438 --> 00:08:31,339
? It would fill my heart with joy ?
236
00:08:31,341 --> 00:08:33,708
? Just be my loverboy ?
237
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,142
? One more time ?
238
00:08:35,144 --> 00:08:36,610
What is your story, man?
239
00:08:36,612 --> 00:08:39,680
? Oh, yeah ?
240
00:08:39,682 --> 00:08:41,916
Dylan? What are you doing?
241
00:08:41,918 --> 00:08:43,351
Is this part of a prank?
242
00:08:43,353 --> 00:08:44,218
Nope.
243
00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:45,786
I'm off the whole prank thing.
244
00:08:45,788 --> 00:08:47,054
So I figured I'd try this.
245
00:08:47,056 --> 00:08:48,788
I just wanted to be
a part of something...
246
00:08:48,791 --> 00:08:50,024
Check.
247
00:08:50,026 --> 00:08:52,159
And have some fun... Ch...
248
00:08:52,161 --> 00:08:53,227
[SIGHS] I'm sorry.
249
00:08:53,229 --> 00:08:55,062
I can't in good conscience say "check."
250
00:08:55,064 --> 00:08:57,831
Well, I'm glad you're here. Take these.
251
00:08:57,834 --> 00:08:59,901
Go spruce up Dr. Miller's office.
252
00:09:03,339 --> 00:09:07,441
?
253
00:09:07,443 --> 00:09:09,377
Dylan? Are you okay?
254
00:09:09,379 --> 00:09:12,113
I was born at the wrong time.
255
00:09:12,115 --> 00:09:15,349
You should be fish.
256
00:09:15,351 --> 00:09:17,518
You should all be fish!
257
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:23,090
?
258
00:09:24,494 --> 00:09:27,128
I've seen people do this on TV,
259
00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:28,396
but I'll be honest...
260
00:09:28,398 --> 00:09:30,097
I do not know what I'm looking for.
261
00:09:30,099 --> 00:09:32,976
Well, if you see the last
20 minutes of my life,
262
00:09:32,979 --> 00:09:34,268
can I have it back?
263
00:09:34,270 --> 00:09:37,238
Darling, just hit the
ball. Don't overthink it.
264
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:38,472
Well, I can help you not think.
265
00:09:38,474 --> 00:09:39,540
Oh, good.
266
00:09:39,542 --> 00:09:41,075
I downloaded an app that determines
267
00:09:41,077 --> 00:09:42,510
the best angle for putting.
268
00:09:42,512 --> 00:09:44,278
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
269
00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,280
Just turn your brain off,
darling, and swing at it.
270
00:09:46,282 --> 00:09:47,615
Jimmy, go on... Show him.
271
00:09:50,186 --> 00:09:51,085
- [THUD]
- MAN: Ow!
272
00:09:51,087 --> 00:09:52,620
Ooh. Yeah, no, just like that,
273
00:09:52,622 --> 00:09:53,687
but don't hit the fat guy.
274
00:09:53,689 --> 00:09:55,156
He nailed him!
275
00:09:55,158 --> 00:09:56,757
What if he sues?
276
00:09:56,759 --> 00:09:58,225
It'll affect your family's credit.
277
00:09:58,227 --> 00:09:59,226
Oh, no!
278
00:09:59,228 --> 00:10:00,961
What would we do if our credit was bad?
279
00:10:00,963 --> 00:10:02,797
Maybe they'll take Ray's
college fund, as well.
280
00:10:02,799 --> 00:10:04,632
You're the reason I'm like this!
281
00:10:04,634 --> 00:10:06,467
?
282
00:10:06,469 --> 00:10:09,003
And a little red flair here.
283
00:10:09,005 --> 00:10:11,806
[CHUCKLES]
284
00:10:11,808 --> 00:10:13,774
"Wow, Nora.
285
00:10:13,776 --> 00:10:17,411
You're as good at
painting homecoming floats
286
00:10:17,413 --> 00:10:19,713
as you are at kissing."
287
00:10:21,284 --> 00:10:23,250
I have amazing news, everyone.
288
00:10:23,252 --> 00:10:24,952
JJ and Nora have been nominated
289
00:10:24,954 --> 00:10:26,921
for Homecoming King and Queen!
290
00:10:26,923 --> 00:10:29,089
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Whoo-hoo!
291
00:10:29,091 --> 00:10:31,538
Do the Homecoming King and
Queen get to give a speech?
292
00:10:31,541 --> 00:10:33,160
Great, then we can get up there
293
00:10:33,162 --> 00:10:36,030
and tell everybody how
stupid they've been.
294
00:10:36,032 --> 00:10:37,798
"I know these people.
295
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,334
I don't want to call anybody stupid."
296
00:10:40,336 --> 00:10:42,069
Sometimes you have to
hit people over the head
297
00:10:42,071 --> 00:10:43,771
to educate them.
298
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:46,607
"I'm not here to educate anybody.
299
00:10:46,609 --> 00:10:49,376
All I want is to meet some girls
300
00:10:49,378 --> 00:10:51,111
and eat some candy."
301
00:10:51,113 --> 00:10:53,666
If you're not gonna
educate them, who will?
302
00:10:53,669 --> 00:10:56,002
"I guess you, alone.
303
00:10:56,005 --> 00:10:58,182
It's been real.
304
00:10:58,185 --> 00:11:01,222
Well..." F-A... "fake real."
305
00:11:01,224 --> 00:11:04,291
?
306
00:11:04,293 --> 00:11:05,626
I'm finishing.
307
00:11:05,628 --> 00:11:07,895
It's not the float's fault
you can't hang on to a man.
308
00:11:07,897 --> 00:11:09,363
Beautiful.
309
00:11:09,365 --> 00:11:11,632
MAN: the second time!
310
00:11:11,634 --> 00:11:12,971
[LAUGHTER]
311
00:11:12,974 --> 00:11:15,941
Whoa. Are you Cherry Bomb Dom?
312
00:11:15,944 --> 00:11:18,506
Been a long time since
anyone called me that.
313
00:11:18,508 --> 00:11:20,265
You guys were the
notorious pranksters...
314
00:11:20,268 --> 00:11:22,376
The Prankenstein Monsters!
315
00:11:22,378 --> 00:11:23,344
Oof.
316
00:11:23,346 --> 00:11:25,145
You've been pranked... by time.
317
00:11:25,147 --> 00:11:26,814
Don't give time all the credit.
318
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,282
I'm also an alcoholic.
319
00:11:28,284 --> 00:11:29,717
- [LAUGHTER]
- See ya, kid.
320
00:11:29,719 --> 00:11:31,685
Look, I've been trying
to get a crew to pull off
321
00:11:31,687 --> 00:11:33,320
the most memorable homecoming prank
322
00:11:33,322 --> 00:11:35,155
Lafayette High has ever seen.
323
00:11:35,157 --> 00:11:36,924
Who better to help me than you guys?
324
00:11:36,926 --> 00:11:38,959
Well, uh... thanks for
the offer there, kiddo,
325
00:11:38,961 --> 00:11:41,228
but, uh, we hung it up a long time ago.
326
00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:43,030
Except for Joey. He stills streaks.
327
00:11:43,032 --> 00:11:44,632
Nobody wants that, man.
328
00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:45,799
Come on! Don't you guys hate
329
00:11:45,801 --> 00:11:47,668
how sensitive this school's become?
330
00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:49,770
We used to be the Vikings,
but that's "too violent,"
331
00:11:49,772 --> 00:11:51,305
so we're the Sea Slugs.
332
00:11:51,307 --> 00:11:53,674
And the student council
just outlawed pranks!
333
00:11:53,676 --> 00:11:54,875
The stupid council did what?
334
00:11:54,877 --> 00:11:57,344
Whoa! No way. I need you guys!
335
00:11:57,346 --> 00:11:59,680
Yeah? Screw it. We're in.
336
00:11:59,682 --> 00:12:01,148
[LAUGHTER]
337
00:12:01,150 --> 00:12:02,883
I've finally found my people.
338
00:12:02,885 --> 00:12:04,285
And you guys are so old,
339
00:12:04,287 --> 00:12:06,554
I bet this will count
as my community service!
340
00:12:06,556 --> 00:12:08,522
?
341
00:12:08,524 --> 00:12:11,325
How are we still on this same hole?
342
00:12:11,327 --> 00:12:12,738
I have no shot.
343
00:12:12,741 --> 00:12:15,062
I'm just gonna hit your ball
and knock it closer to the hole,
344
00:12:15,064 --> 00:12:17,865
so that way, at least one of
us has a chance to succeed.
345
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:20,034
Guys, it's just miniature golf.
346
00:12:20,036 --> 00:12:22,503
And no one is succeeding.
347
00:12:22,505 --> 00:12:23,871
We've already lost six balls.
348
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:25,606
We're just trying to communicate.
349
00:12:25,608 --> 00:12:26,941
Oh.
350
00:12:26,943 --> 00:12:28,442
Expressing yourself
351
00:12:28,444 --> 00:12:31,011
so you can feel heard
and get on the same page.
352
00:12:31,013 --> 00:12:32,012
Exactly.
353
00:12:32,014 --> 00:12:32,846
Yeah, don't do that.
354
00:12:32,848 --> 00:12:33,881
I mean, look at us.
355
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,482
Plenty happens in our relationship.
356
00:12:35,484 --> 00:12:36,717
We don't over-examine it.
357
00:12:36,719 --> 00:12:38,344
Your dad doesn't like
Ryan Gosling films,
358
00:12:38,347 --> 00:12:39,987
so I go and see them by myself.
359
00:12:39,989 --> 00:12:41,088
Several times.
360
00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:42,690
Your mom's got a drawer
full of rubber bands
361
00:12:42,692 --> 00:12:43,891
on her side of the bed.
362
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:46,060
I don't know why. Don't care to ask.
363
00:12:46,062 --> 00:12:47,995
Finger guns. I shoot
you while you sleep.
364
00:12:47,997 --> 00:12:48,963
Sounds fun.
365
00:12:48,965 --> 00:12:50,531
We used to go to Vegas all the time.
366
00:12:50,533 --> 00:12:52,232
One day, your dad hates Vegas.
367
00:12:52,234 --> 00:12:53,934
Why? It's a mystery.
368
00:12:53,936 --> 00:12:55,574
But one I'm not interested in.
369
00:12:55,577 --> 00:12:57,271
Uh, let's not get into the
Vegas thing in front of the kids.
370
00:12:57,273 --> 00:12:59,039
- Why?
- You know why.
371
00:12:59,041 --> 00:13:01,504
What? No, I don't. I really don't.
372
00:13:01,507 --> 00:13:03,077
Because he's too cheap to gamble.
373
00:13:03,079 --> 00:13:04,878
That's not why. You know.
374
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,580
Blackjack math makes him feel dumb?
375
00:13:06,582 --> 00:13:07,681
Just shoot your ball.
376
00:13:07,683 --> 00:13:09,416
Well, now I care. So what is it?
377
00:13:09,418 --> 00:13:11,518
[SCOFFS] You're kidding, right?
378
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:14,321
Last time I was in
Vegas was 16 years ago,
379
00:13:14,323 --> 00:13:16,290
Eddie's bachelor party?
380
00:13:16,292 --> 00:13:17,891
You wanted to bring JJ to the doctor
381
00:13:17,893 --> 00:13:19,026
'cause you thought something was up,
382
00:13:19,028 --> 00:13:20,461
and I said, "You're nuts!"
383
00:13:20,463 --> 00:13:22,630
So I go off, and you take
him to the doctor alone,
384
00:13:22,632 --> 00:13:24,031
and I learn that
385
00:13:24,033 --> 00:13:26,500
our son has this life-changing diagnosis
386
00:13:26,502 --> 00:13:29,470
on a pay phone in a
casino 300 miles away.
387
00:13:29,472 --> 00:13:31,605
And whatever I do, if I live to be 500,
388
00:13:31,607 --> 00:13:34,108
I'm not gonna make up for
the fact that I left you alone
389
00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:36,012
at the scariest moment of our life.
390
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:37,548
You hold on to all that?
391
00:13:40,883 --> 00:13:44,418
I don't think they're
gonna be our couple friends.
392
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:45,621
Hi, JJ.
393
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:48,522
You and Nora are so cute together.
394
00:13:48,524 --> 00:13:50,190
You know, I have to admit,
395
00:13:50,192 --> 00:13:52,593
I am a little disappointed
that you're taken.
396
00:13:52,595 --> 00:13:55,062
JJ is listening.
397
00:13:55,064 --> 00:13:57,665
Well, um, if you're ever available,
398
00:13:57,667 --> 00:14:00,367
I would love to introduce
you to my cousin Sue.
399
00:14:00,369 --> 00:14:02,236
She's single, ready to mingle,
400
00:14:02,238 --> 00:14:05,706
and, most importantly,
she has spina bifida.
401
00:14:05,708 --> 00:14:07,675
She's in a wheelchair like you!
402
00:14:07,677 --> 00:14:13,847
?
403
00:14:13,849 --> 00:14:15,949
KENNETH: Nora!
404
00:14:15,951 --> 00:14:18,786
"I changed my mind.
405
00:14:18,788 --> 00:14:20,371
Screw these people.
406
00:14:20,374 --> 00:14:22,389
Let's win and give that speech."
407
00:14:22,391 --> 00:14:23,557
Let's do it.
408
00:14:23,559 --> 00:14:28,062
Vote for Jora...
Homecoming King and Queen!
409
00:14:28,064 --> 00:14:32,299
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
410
00:14:32,301 --> 00:14:34,268
Hey, hey, hey, hey! No,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
411
00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:35,269
Hey, hey!
412
00:14:35,271 --> 00:14:37,502
That's not how we want to win. Okay?
413
00:14:38,414 --> 00:14:40,712
Another hole in one?
414
00:14:40,715 --> 00:14:42,014
That's like five in a row.
415
00:14:42,016 --> 00:14:43,716
Do I not suck at something?
416
00:14:43,718 --> 00:14:45,718
You weren't overanalyzing it.
417
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:48,053
You were kind of just
mindlessly chitchatting.
418
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,922
I wouldn't say mindlessly.
419
00:14:49,924 --> 00:14:53,359
Your parents might be right
about us overthinking things.
420
00:14:53,361 --> 00:14:54,460
Maybe they were.
421
00:14:54,462 --> 00:14:55,867
Are they okay?
422
00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:57,530
Do you want to go back and talk to them?
423
00:14:57,532 --> 00:14:58,697
I should.
424
00:14:58,699 --> 00:15:00,067
Dear God! They're catching up!
425
00:15:00,070 --> 00:15:01,400
Gotta get it.
426
00:15:01,402 --> 00:15:04,537
I hate, hate, hate that
you've held onto this
427
00:15:04,539 --> 00:15:05,671
for so many years.
428
00:15:05,673 --> 00:15:06,739
You're right.
429
00:15:06,741 --> 00:15:08,340
It's good that I wasn't there for you.
430
00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:11,043
I was there for Eddie,
my most racist friend,
431
00:15:11,045 --> 00:15:12,745
who turned out to be the least racist
432
00:15:12,747 --> 00:15:14,046
of his group of friends.
433
00:15:14,048 --> 00:15:17,182
We don't talk about things.
Let's go back to doing that.
434
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,851
Jimmy, we've got to talk about this.
435
00:15:18,853 --> 00:15:20,953
Uh. [SIGHS]
436
00:15:20,955 --> 00:15:23,224
Nothing would've been
different if you'd been there.
437
00:15:23,227 --> 00:15:25,124
It was just one night.
438
00:15:25,126 --> 00:15:29,194
You've been there every day
and every night ever since.
439
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:30,930
I don't hold it against you, Jimmy.
440
00:15:30,932 --> 00:15:34,133
[INHALES SHARPLY] That makes one of us.
441
00:15:34,135 --> 00:15:36,635
Well...
442
00:15:36,637 --> 00:15:38,704
I was gonna wait till you were asleep
443
00:15:38,706 --> 00:15:41,040
to give you this.
444
00:15:41,042 --> 00:15:42,688
But I think it's probably better now.
445
00:15:45,346 --> 00:15:46,712
Hurts a lot, actually.
446
00:15:46,714 --> 00:15:48,147
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
447
00:15:48,149 --> 00:15:50,015
Pete, you'll be on lookout.
448
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:53,285
Doug, gonna set you in
the stands before the game.
449
00:15:53,287 --> 00:15:56,188
Joey, you head into that storage room
450
00:15:56,190 --> 00:15:58,157
and bring out all the Viking stuff...
451
00:15:58,159 --> 00:16:00,125
With clothes on.
452
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,328
Meanwhile, we'll get Miller's car keys
453
00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:03,963
while she's addressing the crowd.
454
00:16:03,965 --> 00:16:05,264
Gonna need somebody fast.
455
00:16:05,266 --> 00:16:06,699
How 'bout Ben's wife?
456
00:16:06,701 --> 00:16:07,833
[LAUGHTER]
457
00:16:07,835 --> 00:16:09,101
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
458
00:16:09,103 --> 00:16:10,803
Come on! Keep it clean.
459
00:16:10,805 --> 00:16:12,771
That's not what your
mom said last night.
460
00:16:12,773 --> 00:16:14,873
[LAUGHTER]
461
00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:19,311
?
462
00:16:19,313 --> 00:16:21,480
Oh, you're leaving me. That seems fair.
463
00:16:21,482 --> 00:16:22,881
I'm leaving with you.
464
00:16:22,883 --> 00:16:24,750
Our flight leaves in 30 minutes.
465
00:16:24,752 --> 00:16:25,884
Where are we going?
466
00:16:25,886 --> 00:16:27,461
Oh, I'm not talking. It's our thing.
467
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:28,630
[CHUCKLES] All right.
468
00:16:28,633 --> 00:16:29,688
But you're gonna have to check that.
469
00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:30,990
It's way too big for a carry-on.
470
00:16:30,992 --> 00:16:32,124
It's okay. I know a guy.
471
00:16:32,126 --> 00:16:33,559
A guy who can make overhead bins larger?
472
00:16:33,561 --> 00:16:35,361
[MARCHING BAND PLAYS]
473
00:16:35,363 --> 00:16:36,895
[LAUGHTER]
474
00:16:36,897 --> 00:16:39,565
I feel a little conspicuous.
475
00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:40,699
Be cool.
476
00:16:40,701 --> 00:16:42,434
We're just five old
dudes and a young girl
477
00:16:42,436 --> 00:16:44,169
wearing all black at a football game.
478
00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:45,337
[CHUCKLES]
479
00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:48,073
Look at us being all spontaneous.
480
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:51,076
The old us would've agonized
over where to sit for an hour.
481
00:16:51,078 --> 00:16:52,845
But these were the first seats we saw,
482
00:16:52,847 --> 00:16:53,979
and they're great.
483
00:16:53,981 --> 00:16:55,881
And this $6 popcorn?
484
00:16:55,883 --> 00:16:57,182
An impulsive delight.
485
00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:59,451
I like the new no-thinking us.
486
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:00,953
You know what?
487
00:17:00,955 --> 00:17:02,521
So do I.
488
00:17:02,523 --> 00:17:04,456
Forget thinking.
489
00:17:04,458 --> 00:17:05,824
Taylor...
490
00:17:05,826 --> 00:17:07,393
I love you.
491
00:17:07,395 --> 00:17:09,194
Whoa!
492
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,897
Ray, it's... It's way too soon for that.
493
00:17:11,899 --> 00:17:13,666
Get it, Taylor?
494
00:17:13,668 --> 00:17:16,101
That's... That's what I'm talking about.
495
00:17:16,103 --> 00:17:18,270
Some thinking.
496
00:17:18,272 --> 00:17:19,772
Balance.
497
00:17:19,774 --> 00:17:23,342
?
498
00:17:23,344 --> 00:17:24,843
Hello, everyone.
499
00:17:24,845 --> 00:17:27,913
Are you ready to crown your
Homecoming King and Queen?
500
00:17:27,915 --> 00:17:28,781
Yay!
501
00:17:28,783 --> 00:17:29,882
STUDENT: Don't rap again!
502
00:17:29,884 --> 00:17:31,517
- [LAUGHTER]
- Let the white lady rap!
503
00:17:31,519 --> 00:17:33,519
I wasn't going to.
504
00:17:33,521 --> 00:17:35,587
What's up, homies?
505
00:17:35,589 --> 00:17:37,456
It's going down.
506
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:41,183
The king and the queen,
they 'bout to get crowned.
507
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:43,204
- [DRUMROLL, FANFARE]
- And the lucky couple is...
508
00:17:43,207 --> 00:17:45,664
Josh Porter and Mariabelle Jackson!
509
00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:46,899
Yay!
510
00:17:46,901 --> 00:17:48,267
- [MARCHING BAND PLAYS]
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
511
00:17:48,269 --> 00:17:50,369
Wow. I really thought we'd win,
512
00:17:50,371 --> 00:17:51,537
but they went with a run-of-the-mill
513
00:17:51,539 --> 00:17:52,604
hot white couple.
514
00:17:52,606 --> 00:17:53,672
Our king...
515
00:17:53,674 --> 00:17:56,175
"Guess that's..." P-R... "progress?"
516
00:17:56,177 --> 00:17:59,578
I guess this school isn't
as far gone as I thought.
517
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,547
"I guess you're right."
518
00:18:01,549 --> 00:18:03,315
Yeah.
519
00:18:03,317 --> 00:18:05,184
Too bad we have to break up,
520
00:18:05,186 --> 00:18:07,720
because I got jealous
that Kendall Jenner
521
00:18:07,722 --> 00:18:10,689
kept sending you e-mails constantly!
522
00:18:10,691 --> 00:18:13,792
?
523
00:18:13,794 --> 00:18:16,862
Am I nuts? I'm kinda feeling you two.
524
00:18:16,864 --> 00:18:18,263
?
525
00:18:18,265 --> 00:18:19,932
At a time where no one understood me,
526
00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:21,867
you guys were there.
527
00:18:21,869 --> 00:18:24,937
It's been an absolute
honor working with you.
528
00:18:24,939 --> 00:18:26,705
Thanks for bringing
us in on this, Dylan.
529
00:18:26,707 --> 00:18:28,640
From now on, consider yourself
530
00:18:28,642 --> 00:18:31,015
an honorary Prankenstein Monster.
531
00:18:31,018 --> 00:18:32,811
[LAUGHTER]
532
00:18:32,813 --> 00:18:34,413
Dylan, we'll take the back.
533
00:18:34,415 --> 00:18:36,648
It's your idea. You drive.
534
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:38,817
Whoa.
535
00:18:38,819 --> 00:18:42,588
I won't let you guys down.
536
00:18:42,590 --> 00:18:46,191
Saddle up, boys, because
this is gonna be huge.
537
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:48,761
All right, you heard the
lady! Saddle up, fellas!
538
00:18:48,763 --> 00:18:51,230
?
539
00:18:51,232 --> 00:18:55,334
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
540
00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:58,971
Death to Sea Slugs! Go, Vikings!
541
00:18:58,973 --> 00:19:00,372
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
542
00:19:00,374 --> 00:19:02,174
That's my car, dawg.
543
00:19:02,176 --> 00:19:03,642
?
544
00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:06,011
We did it, guys.
545
00:19:06,013 --> 00:19:07,412
Guys?
546
00:19:09,717 --> 00:19:13,485
[CROWD CHANTING "DYLAN!"]
547
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,120
Wait. What?
548
00:19:16,991 --> 00:19:18,524
[LAUGHTER]
549
00:19:18,526 --> 00:19:21,293
You guys pranked me? No way!
550
00:19:21,295 --> 00:19:23,228
You guys are frickin' legends!
551
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:24,863
- [LAUGHTER]
- Hey!
552
00:19:24,865 --> 00:19:27,332
Hey, hey, hey!
553
00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,433
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
554
00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,602
Dylan DiMeo, you come
back here right now!
555
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:33,038
Give me my keys, girl!
556
00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:34,173
[CROWD CHEERS]
557
00:19:34,175 --> 00:19:36,808
Oh, my God! Streaker!
558
00:19:36,811 --> 00:19:37,910
[LAUGHS]
559
00:19:37,912 --> 00:19:39,278
Woo-hoo!
560
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:40,879
[SLOT MACHINES DINGING]
561
00:19:40,881 --> 00:19:42,247
I-I kind of figured
562
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,882
some of the clothes in that suitcase
563
00:19:43,884 --> 00:19:45,150
would've been mine.
564
00:19:45,152 --> 00:19:47,119
Oh, no, you get the surprise,
I get the costume change.
565
00:19:47,121 --> 00:19:49,087
Oh. This is very sweet.
566
00:19:49,089 --> 00:19:51,590
Well, I thought it was time
for us to make a new memory.
567
00:19:51,592 --> 00:19:52,524
[CHUCKLES]
568
00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:54,459
Can you forgive yourself?
569
00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:55,928
Well, by all appearances,
570
00:19:55,930 --> 00:19:57,529
I'm paying you by the hour.
571
00:19:57,531 --> 00:20:00,399
It would be dumb to waste
it beating myself up.
572
00:20:00,401 --> 00:20:02,401
Maybe Ray and Taylor were right.
573
00:20:02,403 --> 00:20:04,503
We could stand to talk a bit more.
574
00:20:04,505 --> 00:20:06,305
Yeah, let's.
575
00:20:06,307 --> 00:20:07,918
But not tonight.
576
00:20:07,921 --> 00:20:09,274
Should we go back up to the room
577
00:20:09,276 --> 00:20:10,976
I have no idea how
we're going to pay for?
578
00:20:10,978 --> 00:20:12,578
[SCOFFS] Honey, I got this.
579
00:20:12,580 --> 00:20:14,680
Hmm?
580
00:20:14,682 --> 00:20:17,583
Okay. Come on! Money for a room!
581
00:20:17,585 --> 00:20:19,151
And whatever a 401(K) is!
582
00:20:19,153 --> 00:20:20,441
MAN: Here we go!
583
00:20:20,444 --> 00:20:21,438
DEALER: Winner, 4!
584
00:20:21,441 --> 00:20:23,139
Yes! Ha!
585
00:20:23,628 --> 00:20:25,402
- Let's do it.
- Wait.
586
00:20:25,405 --> 00:20:26,993
Uh, my physical therapist
587
00:20:26,996 --> 00:20:28,429
is coming to pick me up any second,
588
00:20:28,431 --> 00:20:29,764
and I want you to meet her.
589
00:20:29,766 --> 00:20:31,565
We got to get home.
590
00:20:31,567 --> 00:20:35,870
"We really want you to meet..." A-Y-E...
591
00:20:35,872 --> 00:20:38,139
"Ayeisha."
592
00:20:38,141 --> 00:20:39,407
Seriously?
593
00:20:39,409 --> 00:20:41,442
We think you'll have a
lot in common with her.
594
00:20:41,444 --> 00:20:42,877
Oh, is that so?
595
00:20:42,879 --> 00:20:44,845
After all you two just been through.
596
00:20:44,847 --> 00:20:47,449
Let me guess one small
detail about Ayeisha.
597
00:20:48,584 --> 00:20:49,917
?
598
00:20:49,919 --> 00:20:53,504
It's that she completes me. [CHUCKLES]
599
00:20:53,507 --> 00:20:55,723
Well, there's shipping,
and then there's fate.
600
00:20:55,725 --> 00:20:57,425
[CHUCKLES]
601
00:20:57,427 --> 00:20:58,492
Hey, girl!
602
00:20:58,591 --> 00:21:00,176
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
603
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:04,776
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