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1
00:00:00,367 --> 00:00:03,170
In the modern britain,
united under a great leader
2
00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:06,773
It's the housewives of britain
who are getting things moving.
3
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:09,142
Here, a coach load of
lovely ladies are on their way
4
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:10,978
To speed up production
in a car factory.
5
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,380
And here we are, boys,
it's the no-hurry brigade
6
00:00:13,413 --> 00:00:14,815
Hanging around
for endless overtime.
7
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:20,888
And just watch these gallant
girls go into action.
8
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:26,935
Not working fast enough?
9
00:00:26,969 --> 00:00:30,439
Well, there's
an answer for that.
10
00:00:30,472 --> 00:00:33,041
Yes, this is certainly
the way to speed up production.
11
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:35,611
This is the recipe for
increased productivity
12
00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,579
To meet the threat
of those nasty foreigners
13
00:00:37,613 --> 00:00:39,181
When britain takes
her natural place
14
00:00:39,214 --> 00:00:41,016
At the head
of the british common market.
15
00:00:41,049 --> 00:00:46,421
And how's this for a way
to beat strikers?
16
00:00:48,357 --> 00:00:49,891
Those spotty continental boys
17
00:00:49,925 --> 00:00:52,261
Will soon have to look out
for mrs. britain.
18
00:00:52,294 --> 00:00:53,962
And talking of windmills
19
00:00:53,996 --> 00:00:58,166
These girls aren't afraid to
tilt at the permissive society.
20
00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:00,369
Business is booming
in the so-called arts
21
00:01:00,402 --> 00:01:05,274
But two can play
at that game, chum.
22
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,443
And it's not just the modern
so-called plastic arts
23
00:01:08,477 --> 00:01:10,178
That get the clean-up treatment.
24
00:01:10,212 --> 00:01:11,246
Desdemona...
25
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,516
Come on, dears!
26
00:01:15,250 --> 00:01:17,986
And those continentals
had better watch out
27
00:01:18,020 --> 00:01:19,888
For their dirty
foreign literature.
28
00:01:19,922 --> 00:01:23,125
Jean-paul sartre and jean genet
won't know what's hit them.
29
00:01:23,158 --> 00:01:25,460
Never mind the foulness
of their language--
30
00:01:25,494 --> 00:01:29,831
Come '73, they'll all
have to write in british.
31
00:01:29,865 --> 00:01:33,135
You can keep your fastidious
continental bidets, mrs. foreigner--
32
00:01:33,168 --> 00:01:35,537
Mrs. britain knows
how to keep her feet clean.
33
00:01:35,570 --> 00:01:37,239
But she'll battle
like bingo, boys
34
00:01:37,272 --> 00:01:39,975
When it comes to keeping
the tv screen clean.
35
00:01:40,008 --> 00:01:43,011
Better watch out for
those nasty continental shows
36
00:01:43,045 --> 00:01:44,379
On the sneaky second channel.
37
00:01:44,413 --> 00:01:45,814
But apart from attacking
38
00:01:45,847 --> 00:01:48,016
That prurient hotbed
of left-wing continentalism
39
00:01:48,050 --> 00:01:49,184
At shepherds bush
40
00:01:49,217 --> 00:01:50,452
What else do these
ordinary mums think?
41
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:51,520
Do they accept hegelianism?
42
00:01:51,553 --> 00:01:52,955
No!
43
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:55,123
Do they prefer leibnitz
to wittgenstein?
44
00:01:55,157 --> 00:01:57,025
No! no!
45
00:01:57,059 --> 00:01:59,428
And where do they stand
on young people?
46
00:01:59,461 --> 00:02:01,530
Just here, dear.
47
00:02:01,563 --> 00:02:03,565
Their power is growing daily
48
00:02:03,599 --> 00:02:05,767
And when these girls
roll their sleeves up
49
00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:06,902
It's arms all the way.
50
00:02:06,935 --> 00:02:09,271
Yes, this is the way to fight
51
00:02:09,304 --> 00:02:14,276
The constant war
against pornography.
52
00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:26,121
And now...
53
00:02:26,154 --> 00:02:28,724
It's...
54
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:35,197
Monty python's flying circus.
55
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,769
Doctor!
56
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:24,739
Doctor!
57
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,408
Doctor!
58
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:30,011
Doctor!
59
00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:34,382
Doctor!
60
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,618
Doctor!
61
00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:39,920
Doctor!
62
00:03:39,954 --> 00:03:42,523
Doctor!
63
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:43,891
Doctor!
64
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:47,528
Where is the doctor?
65
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,036
Hello!
66
00:03:55,136 --> 00:03:59,440
Are you the brain specialist?
67
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,481
Hello!
68
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:13,154
Are you the brain specialist?
69
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,824
No!
70
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:19,827
No, I am not
the brain specialist.
71
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:22,229
No, no, I am not!
72
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:25,299
Yes! yes, I am!
73
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:28,536
My brain hurts!
74
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:35,476
Well, let's take a look
at it, mr. gumby.
75
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:36,577
No, no, no...
76
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,312
My brain in my head.
77
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:40,581
Oh!
78
00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:48,289
It'll have to come out.
79
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:50,858
Out... of my head?
80
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,861
Yes! all the bits of it.
81
00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,364
Nurse!
82
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:59,100
Nurse!
83
00:04:59,834 --> 00:05:02,303
Nurse!
84
00:05:03,437 --> 00:05:05,906
Nurse!
85
00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:13,447
Nurse, take mr. gumby
to a... brain surgeon.
86
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,416
Yes, doctor.
87
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,684
Where's the lancet?
88
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,753
He's brilliant, you know.
89
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:22,790
Where's the bloody lancet?
90
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:26,427
My brain hurts, too.
91
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,970
Gloves...
92
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,839
Glasses...
93
00:05:40,374 --> 00:05:43,344
Moustache...
94
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:47,815
Handkerchief...
95
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:50,951
I'm going to operate!
96
00:05:50,985 --> 00:05:53,888
Operate, operate...
97
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,690
Get bits
of brain!
98
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:59,160
Get bits of brain!
99
00:05:59,994 --> 00:06:01,896
Hello!
100
00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:02,897
Oh!
101
00:06:02,930 --> 00:06:03,898
Oh!
102
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:07,134
We forgot
the anesthetic!
103
00:06:07,168 --> 00:06:08,669
Anesthetic!
104
00:06:08,703 --> 00:06:10,104
Anesthetic!
105
00:06:10,137 --> 00:06:13,007
Anesthetic!
106
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:16,510
Anesthetic!
107
00:06:21,082 --> 00:06:25,386
I've come to
anesthetize you!
108
00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:34,069
Good evening.
109
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:36,771
Tonight I'd like to talk to you
about... oh, uh...
110
00:06:36,805 --> 00:06:38,373
Excuse me, this is all wrong.
111
00:06:38,406 --> 00:06:41,276
One moment.
112
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,788
Hello, again.
113
00:06:53,822 --> 00:06:55,123
As I was saying...
114
00:06:55,156 --> 00:06:57,325
Ah, oh, wait, this is
still not quite right.
115
00:06:57,359 --> 00:06:59,828
Sorry.
116
00:07:07,869 --> 00:07:12,173
No, no, sorry, no, not right.
117
00:07:26,388 --> 00:07:29,257
Ah, this is better.
118
00:07:29,290 --> 00:07:32,060
Now, tonight I want to look
at the meaning of life...
119
00:07:32,093 --> 00:07:35,296
Oh! ow! oh! oh!
120
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:42,237
No, no, no...
121
00:07:44,606 --> 00:07:47,809
No, no, please!
122
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,830
Hmm, ah, well...
123
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,899
This'll do nicely.
124
00:08:10,932 --> 00:08:12,000
Good evening.
125
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:13,401
Tonight I'd like to talk to you
126
00:08:13,435 --> 00:08:14,536
About the meaning of life
127
00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:17,205
In the context of...
128
00:08:17,238 --> 00:08:20,375
The 9:00 news,
which was to have followed
129
00:08:20,408 --> 00:08:22,444
has been canceled tonight
130
00:08:22,477 --> 00:08:24,479
so we can bring you
the quarterfinals
131
00:08:24,512 --> 00:08:26,648
of the all-essex
badminton championship.
132
00:08:26,681 --> 00:08:29,684
Your commentator as usual
is edna o'brien.
133
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,319
Hullo, fans.
134
00:08:31,353 --> 00:08:33,588
Begorra, an' to be sure
there's some fine badminton
135
00:08:33,621 --> 00:08:35,090
down there in essex
this afternoon.
136
00:08:35,123 --> 00:08:38,093
We really...
137
00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:51,139
Hmm.
138
00:08:51,172 --> 00:08:52,307
George?
139
00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:53,141
Yes, gladys?
140
00:08:53,174 --> 00:08:54,776
There's a man here
with a moustache.
141
00:08:54,809 --> 00:08:56,378
I already got one.
142
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:58,279
All right, all
right, all right
143
00:08:58,313 --> 00:08:59,781
What's he want,
then?
144
00:08:59,814 --> 00:09:01,016
He says, do we want
145
00:09:01,049 --> 00:09:02,584
A documentary
on mollusks?
146
00:09:02,617 --> 00:09:03,585
Mollusks?!
147
00:09:03,618 --> 00:09:04,586
Yes!
148
00:09:04,619 --> 00:09:06,054
What's he mean,
"mollusks"?
149
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,689
Mollusks!
150
00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:10,258
Gastropods,
lamellibranchs, cephalopods!
151
00:09:10,291 --> 00:09:11,426
Oh, mollusks.
152
00:09:11,459 --> 00:09:12,794
I thought
you said "bacon."
153
00:09:12,827 --> 00:09:15,263
All right, all right,
all right, all right.
154
00:09:15,296 --> 00:09:16,631
What's he
charge, then?
155
00:09:16,664 --> 00:09:17,899
It's free.
156
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:19,834
Oh! where does he
want us to sit?
157
00:09:19,868 --> 00:09:22,837
He says yes!
158
00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:32,447
Good evening.
159
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,182
Tonight, mollusks.
160
00:09:34,215 --> 00:09:38,153
The mollusk is a soft-bodied,
unsegmented invertebrate animal
161
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,422
Usually protected
by a large shell.
162
00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:44,225
One of the most numerous
groups of invertebrates
163
00:09:44,259 --> 00:09:46,961
It is exceeded
in number of species
164
00:09:46,995 --> 00:09:49,497
Only by the arthropods, viz...
165
00:09:49,531 --> 00:09:51,700
Not very
interesting, is it?
166
00:09:51,733 --> 00:09:52,934
What?
167
00:09:52,967 --> 00:09:54,436
I was talking to him.
168
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,770
Oh.
169
00:09:55,804 --> 00:09:58,807
Anyway, the typical mollusk,
viz a snail...
170
00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,676
Consists of a prominent
muscular portion--
171
00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:04,713
The head-foot--
a visceral mass and a shell
172
00:10:04,746 --> 00:10:08,083
Which is secreted by
the free edge of the mantle.
173
00:10:08,116 --> 00:10:09,250
Dreadful, isn't it?
174
00:10:09,284 --> 00:10:10,452
What?
175
00:10:10,485 --> 00:10:12,087
I was talking to him!
176
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,656
Oh... well, anyway...
177
00:10:14,689 --> 00:10:17,125
In some mollusks, however,
viz, slugs
178
00:10:17,158 --> 00:10:19,327
The shell is absent
or rudimentary.
179
00:10:19,361 --> 00:10:20,762
Switch him off.
180
00:10:20,795 --> 00:10:22,797
Whereas in others,
viz cephalopods
181
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,766
The head-foot
is greatly modified
182
00:10:24,799 --> 00:10:26,901
And forms tentacles,
viz the squid.
183
00:10:26,935 --> 00:10:27,902
What are
you doing?
184
00:10:27,936 --> 00:10:28,937
Switching you off.
185
00:10:28,970 --> 00:10:29,938
Don't you
like it?
186
00:10:29,971 --> 00:10:30,939
Oh, it's dreadful.
187
00:10:30,972 --> 00:10:31,940
Embarrassing.
188
00:10:31,973 --> 00:10:32,941
Is it?
189
00:10:32,974 --> 00:10:34,109
Yes, it's perfectly awful.
190
00:10:34,142 --> 00:10:35,310
Disgraceful!
191
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,278
I don't know how
they got the nerve to put it on.
192
00:10:37,312 --> 00:10:38,613
It's so boring.
193
00:10:38,646 --> 00:10:40,682
Well, it's
not much of a subject, is it?
194
00:10:40,715 --> 00:10:41,783
Be fair.
195
00:10:41,816 --> 00:10:43,184
What do you think,
george?
196
00:10:43,218 --> 00:10:45,420
Give him another 20 seconds.
197
00:10:45,453 --> 00:10:46,488
All right.
198
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,123
Anyway,
the majority of mollusks
199
00:10:48,156 --> 00:10:49,724
Are included
in three large groups:
200
00:10:49,758 --> 00:10:51,259
The gastropods,
the lamellibranchs
201
00:10:51,292 --> 00:10:52,427
And the cephalopods.
202
00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:53,561
We know that!
203
00:10:53,595 --> 00:10:55,363
However, what is
more interesting
204
00:10:55,397 --> 00:10:56,998
Is the, uh...
mollusk's, uh...
205
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:57,999
Sex life.
206
00:10:58,033 --> 00:11:00,268
Oh!
207
00:11:01,002 --> 00:11:03,238
Yes, the mollusk
is a randy little fellow
208
00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:05,273
Whose primitive brain
scarcely strays
209
00:11:05,306 --> 00:11:07,409
From the subject
of you-know-what.
210
00:11:07,442 --> 00:11:08,410
Disgusting!
211
00:11:08,443 --> 00:11:09,511
Ought not
to be allowed.
212
00:11:09,544 --> 00:11:11,346
The randiest of the gastropods
213
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:12,714
Is the limpet.
214
00:11:12,747 --> 00:11:14,516
This hot-blooded little beast
215
00:11:14,549 --> 00:11:17,318
With its tentlike shell
is always on the job.
216
00:11:17,352 --> 00:11:18,953
Its extramarital
activities
217
00:11:18,987 --> 00:11:20,388
Are something startling.
218
00:11:20,422 --> 00:11:22,557
Frankly, I don't know
how the female limpet
219
00:11:22,590 --> 00:11:24,659
Finds the time
to adhere to the rock face.
220
00:11:24,693 --> 00:11:25,860
How am I doing?
221
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:26,995
Disgusting.
222
00:11:27,028 --> 00:11:28,063
But more interesting.
223
00:11:28,096 --> 00:11:29,464
Oh, yes.
224
00:11:29,497 --> 00:11:32,400
Another loose-living gastropod
is the periwinkle.
225
00:11:32,434 --> 00:11:34,302
This shameless little libertine
226
00:11:34,335 --> 00:11:37,005
With its characteristic
ventral locomotion...
227
00:11:37,038 --> 00:11:38,606
Is not the marrying kind--
228
00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:40,275
"anywhere, anytime"
is its motto.
229
00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:42,110
Up with the shell
and they're at it.
230
00:11:42,143 --> 00:11:44,012
What about the lamellibranchs?
231
00:11:44,045 --> 00:11:45,246
I'm coming to them.
232
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:48,216
The great scallop...
233
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,352
This tatty, scrofulous
old rapist
234
00:11:50,385 --> 00:11:54,122
Is second in depravity
only to the common clam.
235
00:11:54,155 --> 00:11:56,157
This latter is a right whore!
236
00:11:56,191 --> 00:11:57,625
A harlot,
a trollop
237
00:11:57,659 --> 00:12:01,062
A cynical, bed-hopping,
firm-breasted
238
00:12:01,096 --> 00:12:03,298
Rabelaisian
bit of seafood
239
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:06,234
That makes fanny hill
look like a dead pope.
240
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,170
And finally among the
lamellibranch bivalves
241
00:12:09,204 --> 00:12:14,242
That most depraved of the whole
subspecies, the whelk.
242
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:18,847
The whelk is nothing but
a homosexual of the worst kind.
243
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,816
This gay boy
of the gastropods
244
00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:25,020
This queer crustacean,
this mincing mollusk
245
00:12:25,053 --> 00:12:29,257
This screaming, prancing,
limp-wristed queen of the deep
246
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:30,959
Makes me sick.
247
00:12:30,992 --> 00:12:32,794
Have you got one?
248
00:12:32,827 --> 00:12:33,828
Here!
249
00:12:33,862 --> 00:12:36,531
Let's kill it.
250
00:12:36,564 --> 00:12:37,799
Disgusting!
251
00:12:37,832 --> 00:12:40,468
There,
that'll teach it.
252
00:12:40,502 --> 00:12:43,171
Well, thank you for
a very interesting program.
253
00:12:43,204 --> 00:12:44,572
Oh, not at all,
thank you.
254
00:12:44,606 --> 00:12:45,874
Yes, that was
very nice.
255
00:12:45,907 --> 00:12:47,042
Thank you.
256
00:12:47,075 --> 00:12:48,043
Oh, thank you.
257
00:12:48,076 --> 00:12:49,244
And good night.
258
00:12:49,277 --> 00:12:50,745
And now a word
from the man in the...
259
00:12:50,779 --> 00:12:52,547
Street.
260
00:12:52,580 --> 00:12:53,348
Anyway...
261
00:12:53,381 --> 00:12:55,083
Ooo...
262
00:12:55,116 --> 00:12:59,120
Coochy, coochy, coochy...
263
00:12:59,721 --> 00:13:01,523
...dear little fellow.
264
00:13:01,556 --> 00:13:06,027
Look at the twinkle in his eye.
265
00:13:09,364 --> 00:13:11,700
Oh, he's a little dear,
isn't he?
266
00:13:11,733 --> 00:13:14,936
You shouldn't let him
suck on a dummy, my dear.
267
00:13:14,969 --> 00:13:16,137
Oh, my god... no!
268
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:19,374
Don't touch it!
269
00:13:45,867 --> 00:13:47,969
The minister for not
listening to people
270
00:13:48,002 --> 00:13:50,438
Toured batley today
to investigate allegations
271
00:13:50,472 --> 00:13:53,041
Of victimization in home-loan
improvement grants
272
00:13:53,074 --> 00:13:55,009
Made last week
by the shadow-minister
273
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,778
For judging people
at first sight
274
00:13:56,811 --> 00:13:59,280
To be marginally worse
than they actually are.
275
00:13:59,314 --> 00:14:01,950
At the home office, the minister
for inserting himself
276
00:14:01,983 --> 00:14:04,019
In between chairs and walls
in men's clubs
277
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,854
Was at his desk
after a short illness.
278
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,456
He spent the morning
dealing with the irish situation
279
00:14:08,490 --> 00:14:10,458
And later in the day
had long discussions
280
00:14:10,492 --> 00:14:13,028
With the minister for running
upstairs two at a time
281
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,529
Flinging the door open
282
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,598
And saying, "ha, ha,
caught you, mildred."
283
00:14:16,631 --> 00:14:19,401
In the commons there was
another day of heated debate
284
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:22,003
On the third reading
of the trade practices bill.
285
00:14:22,037 --> 00:14:23,605
Mr. roland penrose
286
00:14:23,638 --> 00:14:27,442
The undersecretary for
making deep growling noises...
287
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,144
Launched a bitter
personal attack
288
00:14:29,177 --> 00:14:32,180
On the ex-minister for delving
deep into a black satin bag
289
00:14:32,213 --> 00:14:34,482
And producing a tube
of euthymol toothpaste.
290
00:14:34,516 --> 00:14:35,884
Later in the debate
291
00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,952
The junior minister
for being frightened
292
00:14:37,986 --> 00:14:39,487
By any kind of farm machinery
293
00:14:39,521 --> 00:14:41,556
Challenged
the undersecretary of state
294
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:43,258
For hiding from terence rattigan
295
00:14:43,291 --> 00:14:45,593
To produce the current year's
trading figures
296
00:14:45,627 --> 00:14:48,496
As supplied by the department
of stealing packets of bandages
297
00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:50,765
From the self-service counter
at timothy whites
298
00:14:50,799 --> 00:14:53,101
And selling them again
at a considerable profit.
299
00:14:53,134 --> 00:14:54,602
Parliament rose at 11:30
300
00:14:54,636 --> 00:14:57,505
And, crawling along a dark
passageway into the old rectory
301
00:14:57,539 --> 00:14:59,441
Broke down the door
to the serving hatch
302
00:14:59,474 --> 00:15:00,942
Painted the spare room
303
00:15:00,975 --> 00:15:02,911
And next weekend
I think they'll be able
304
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:04,679
To make a start
on the boys' bedroom.
305
00:15:04,713 --> 00:15:07,615
While amy and roger--
up in london for two days--
306
00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:09,984
Go to see
the mysterious mr. grenville.
307
00:15:10,018 --> 00:15:12,087
He in turn
has been revealed by d'arcy
308
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,189
As something less
than an honest man.
309
00:15:14,222 --> 00:15:15,323
Sybil feels once again
310
00:15:15,357 --> 00:15:16,991
A resurgence
of her old affection
311
00:15:17,025 --> 00:15:18,426
And she and balreau return
312
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,695
To her little house
in clermont-ferrand--
313
00:15:20,729 --> 00:15:22,530
The kind of two-up,
two-down house
314
00:15:22,564 --> 00:15:25,400
That most french workers--
and, indeed, most workers
315
00:15:25,433 --> 00:15:27,869
Throughout the european
community-- are living in today.
316
00:15:27,902 --> 00:15:29,304
The ease of construction
317
00:15:29,337 --> 00:15:31,639
Using on-site prefabrication
facilities
318
00:15:31,673 --> 00:15:33,475
Makes cheap housing a reality.
319
00:15:33,508 --> 00:15:35,343
The walls of these houses
are lined
320
00:15:35,377 --> 00:15:38,913
With prestressed asbestos, which
keeps the house warm and snuggly
321
00:15:38,947 --> 00:15:42,217
And ever so safe
from the big bad rabbit
322
00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:44,586
Who can scratch and scratch
for all he's worth
323
00:15:44,619 --> 00:15:47,756
But he just can't get
into porky's house.
324
00:15:47,789 --> 00:15:49,057
Where is porky?
325
00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:50,058
Here he is.
326
00:15:50,091 --> 00:15:53,194
What a funny little chap.
327
00:15:53,228 --> 00:15:55,263
But porky is one
of the lucky ones.
328
00:15:55,296 --> 00:15:58,600
He survived the urban upheaval
of the '30s and '40s.
329
00:15:58,633 --> 00:16:01,102
For him, jarrow is still
just a memory.
330
00:16:01,136 --> 00:16:03,638
The hunger marches,
the east end riots
331
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:05,440
The collapse of
the labor government in 1931
332
00:16:05,473 --> 00:16:07,642
Are dim reminders of the days
333
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:10,111
Before a newfound affluence
swept the land
334
00:16:10,145 --> 00:16:11,579
Making it clean and tidy
335
00:16:11,613 --> 00:16:14,482
And making all the shops
full of nice things:
336
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,818
Lovely choo-choo trains and toys
337
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:19,220
And shiny cars that go
"brrm, brrm, brrm"
338
00:16:19,254 --> 00:16:22,190
And everybody was happy
and singing all the day long
339
00:16:22,223 --> 00:16:24,793
And nobody saw
the big bad rabbit ever again.
340
00:16:24,826 --> 00:16:26,628
But, of course,
it's all very easy
341
00:16:26,661 --> 00:16:28,029
To blame the big bad rabbit
342
00:16:28,063 --> 00:16:30,465
When by-elections are going
against the government.
343
00:16:30,498 --> 00:16:32,801
Ut how often do you think
344
00:16:32,834 --> 00:16:34,269
We should really
be blaming ourselves?
345
00:16:34,302 --> 00:16:40,975
Because, you know, that's where
we ought to start looking.
346
00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:20,275
Hello... all the activity
you can see here in progress
347
00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:23,511
Is part of the intricate...
348
00:18:23,545 --> 00:18:28,983
Preparations for the british
naval expedition to lake pahoe.
349
00:18:29,017 --> 00:18:31,319
The leader of the expedition is
350
00:18:31,353 --> 00:18:33,655
Sir jane russell.
351
00:18:33,688 --> 00:18:36,224
Sir jane, what
is the purpose of your expedition?
352
00:18:36,257 --> 00:18:37,859
Well, this is a completely
uncharted lake
353
00:18:37,892 --> 00:18:39,728
With, like, hitherto
unclassified marine life, man
354
00:18:39,761 --> 00:18:42,530
So the whole scene's wide open
for a scientific exploration.
355
00:18:42,564 --> 00:18:44,933
One can see the immense
amount of preparation involved.
356
00:18:44,966 --> 00:18:46,401
Have there been
many difficulties
357
00:18:46,434 --> 00:18:47,736
In setting up this venture?
358
00:18:47,769 --> 00:18:49,838
Well, the real hang-up
was with the bread, man
359
00:18:49,871 --> 00:18:51,806
But when the top-brass pigs
came through
360
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,742
We got it together
in a couple of moons.
361
00:18:53,775 --> 00:18:56,111
Commodore betty grable,
who's a real sub-aqua head
362
00:18:56,144 --> 00:18:57,479
Has got it together diving-wise
363
00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:59,647
And, like, the whole gig's
been a real gas, man.
364
00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:02,484
Thank you.
365
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:05,020
Lieutenant commander
dorothy lamour.
366
00:19:05,053 --> 00:19:07,722
Pieces of eight.
367
00:19:07,756 --> 00:19:10,358
Dorothy, you're in charge
of the security and liaison
368
00:19:10,392 --> 00:19:11,459
For this operation.
369
00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:13,061
Right on.
370
00:19:13,094 --> 00:19:16,364
You've kept this all
very hush-hush so far, shipmate.
371
00:19:16,398 --> 00:19:18,199
Yeah, it's been
really heavy, man
372
00:19:18,233 --> 00:19:20,668
With all these freaks
from the fascist press
373
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,470
Trying to blow
the whole scene.
374
00:19:22,504 --> 00:19:24,039
There's no doubt
about it
375
00:19:24,072 --> 00:19:25,507
This expedition
does have
376
00:19:25,540 --> 00:19:27,709
Some rather unusual
aspects, jim lad.
377
00:19:27,742 --> 00:19:31,212
For a start, why do
the senior personnel all bear the names
378
00:19:31,246 --> 00:19:33,314
Of hollywood film stars
of the '40s
379
00:19:33,348 --> 00:19:34,783
And female ones at that?
380
00:19:34,816 --> 00:19:37,085
Shiver me timbers,
'tis the black spot
381
00:19:37,118 --> 00:19:40,522
And secondly, I be not afraid
of thee, blind pew!
382
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:43,558
Why do they talk this
rather strange, stilted
383
00:19:43,591 --> 00:19:45,193
Underground jargon?
384
00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:48,897
Belay the main brace,
squire trelawney, this be my ship now!
385
00:19:48,930 --> 00:19:51,433
Ah! a tranquilizing
dart fired
386
00:19:51,466 --> 00:19:54,969
By the cowardly bbc
health department dogs.
387
00:19:55,003 --> 00:20:01,176
They've done filled me full
of chlorpromazine! damn!
388
00:20:01,543 --> 00:20:04,846
I'm sorry about my colleague's
rather unconventional behavior.
389
00:20:04,879 --> 00:20:05,914
The navy's
out of sight!
390
00:20:05,947 --> 00:20:07,182
Come together
with the r.n.
391
00:20:07,215 --> 00:20:12,354
It really is something
other than else.
392
00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:31,406
Can you dig it, man?
393
00:20:31,439 --> 00:20:33,408
Hello... I'm sorry
about my colleague's
394
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:35,543
Rather unconventional
behavior just now
395
00:20:35,577 --> 00:20:38,146
But things haven't been
too easy for him recently--
396
00:20:38,179 --> 00:20:39,547
Trouble at home--
397
00:20:39,581 --> 00:20:42,550
Rather confidential, so I can't
give you all the details
398
00:20:42,584 --> 00:20:44,319
Interesting though they are.
399
00:20:44,352 --> 00:20:47,055
Three bottles of rum with
his weetabix, and so forth.
400
00:20:47,088 --> 00:20:49,424
Anyway... apparently,
the girl wasn't even...
401
00:20:49,457 --> 00:20:52,293
Anyway, the activity
you see behind me...
402
00:20:52,327 --> 00:20:54,662
It's the mother
I feel sorry for.
403
00:20:54,696 --> 00:20:56,297
I'll start again.
404
00:20:56,331 --> 00:20:59,034
The activity you see behind me
is part of the preparations
405
00:20:59,067 --> 00:21:01,069
For the new naval expedition
to lake pahoe.
406
00:21:01,102 --> 00:21:02,971
The man in charge
of this expedition is
407
00:21:03,004 --> 00:21:04,606
Vice admiral
sir john cunningham.
408
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:06,241
Sir john,
hello, there.
409
00:21:06,274 --> 00:21:07,442
Hello... well,
first of all
410
00:21:07,475 --> 00:21:08,476
I'd like
to apologize
411
00:21:08,510 --> 00:21:10,612
For the behavior
of certain of my colleagues
412
00:21:10,645 --> 00:21:11,846
You may have
seen earlier
413
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,982
But they are
from broken homes
414
00:21:14,015 --> 00:21:15,750
Circus families
and so on
415
00:21:15,784 --> 00:21:17,819
And they are in no
way representative
416
00:21:17,852 --> 00:21:20,188
Of the new, modern,
improved british navy.
417
00:21:20,221 --> 00:21:23,191
They are a small,
vociferous minority.
418
00:21:23,224 --> 00:21:25,026
And may I take
this opportunity
419
00:21:25,060 --> 00:21:27,629
Of emphasizing
that there is no cannibalism
420
00:21:27,662 --> 00:21:28,897
In the british navy--
421
00:21:28,930 --> 00:21:30,031
Absolutely none.
422
00:21:30,065 --> 00:21:31,332
And when I say none
423
00:21:31,366 --> 00:21:33,468
I mean there is
a certain amount--
424
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:35,770
More than we are
prepared to admit--
425
00:21:35,804 --> 00:21:37,772
But all new ratings
are warned
426
00:21:37,806 --> 00:21:40,141
That if they wake up
in the morning
427
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:41,576
And find any
tooth marks at all
428
00:21:41,609 --> 00:21:43,178
Anywhere on
their bodies
429
00:21:43,211 --> 00:21:45,213
They're to tell
me immediately
430
00:21:45,246 --> 00:21:48,116
So that I can
immediately take every measure
431
00:21:48,149 --> 00:21:49,951
To hush the
whole thing up.
432
00:21:49,984 --> 00:21:54,856
And finally,
necrophilia is right out.
433
00:21:54,889 --> 00:21:57,525
Now, this expedition
is primarily
434
00:21:57,559 --> 00:22:02,230
To investigate reports
of cannibalism and necrophilia in...
435
00:22:02,263 --> 00:22:04,232
This expedition
is primarily
436
00:22:04,265 --> 00:22:07,469
To investigate
reports of unusual marine life
437
00:22:07,502 --> 00:22:10,038
In the as-yet
uncharted lake pahoe.
438
00:22:10,071 --> 00:22:12,407
And where exactly
is the lake?
439
00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,809
Uh... 22a,
runcorn avenue.
440
00:22:14,843 --> 00:22:17,078
Yes, that's right, 22a.
441
00:22:17,112 --> 00:22:18,546
Runcorn avenue?
442
00:22:18,580 --> 00:22:20,181
Yes, it's just
by blenheim crescent.
443
00:22:20,215 --> 00:22:21,316
Do you know it?
444
00:22:21,349 --> 00:22:23,284
Uh, you mean it's
in an ordinary street?
445
00:22:23,318 --> 00:22:24,919
It is not an
ordinary street--
446
00:22:24,953 --> 00:22:26,154
It's got
a lake in it!
447
00:22:26,187 --> 00:22:27,188
Yes, but i...
448
00:22:27,222 --> 00:22:28,523
Look, how many
streets do you know
449
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:29,624
That have got
lakes in them?
450
00:22:29,657 --> 00:22:31,826
I mean, is it very large?
451
00:22:31,860 --> 00:22:33,294
Of course
it's not large.
452
00:22:33,328 --> 00:22:36,097
You couldn't get
a large lake in runcorn avenue!
453
00:22:36,131 --> 00:22:38,633
You'd have
to knock down the tobacconist's!
454
00:22:38,666 --> 00:22:40,268
Jenkins...
455
00:22:40,301 --> 00:22:42,537
No!
456
00:22:49,978 --> 00:22:52,180
I'm now standing
in runcorn avenue.
457
00:22:52,213 --> 00:22:54,482
Sir john, where
exactly is the lake?
458
00:22:54,516 --> 00:22:57,318
Uh, well let's see,
that's 18...
459
00:22:57,352 --> 00:23:00,221
That's 20,
so this must be the one.
460
00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:01,589
Um, excuse me, um...
461
00:23:01,623 --> 00:23:03,124
Yes, this is
the one, all right.
462
00:23:03,158 --> 00:23:04,159
But it's
an ordinary house.
463
00:23:04,192 --> 00:23:05,493
Look, I'm getting
pretty irritated
464
00:23:05,527 --> 00:23:07,228
With this line
of questioning.
465
00:23:07,262 --> 00:23:08,596
But it doesn't even
look like a lake.
466
00:23:08,630 --> 00:23:10,432
Look, your whole approach
since this interview started
467
00:23:10,465 --> 00:23:11,533
Has been
to mock the navy.
468
00:23:11,566 --> 00:23:13,802
When I think that
for the likes of you
469
00:23:13,835 --> 00:23:16,037
I had both my legs
blown off...
470
00:23:16,071 --> 00:23:17,772
But you haven't had both
your legs blown off!
471
00:23:17,806 --> 00:23:20,041
I was talking
metaphorically, you fool.
472
00:23:20,075 --> 00:23:21,276
Jenkins...
473
00:23:21,309 --> 00:23:23,511
Put that down.
474
00:23:23,545 --> 00:23:25,113
Right, is
the equipment ready?
475
00:23:25,146 --> 00:23:28,383
Diving equipment
all ready, man.
476
00:23:28,416 --> 00:23:29,751
Right... now,
quite simply
477
00:23:29,784 --> 00:23:31,953
The approach
to lake pahoe is up the steps
478
00:23:31,986 --> 00:23:34,255
And then we come to
the shores of the lake.
479
00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:35,957
Now, I'm going
to press the bell
480
00:23:35,990 --> 00:23:40,428
Just to see if
there's anyone in.
481
00:23:40,462 --> 00:23:41,629
Hello?
482
00:23:41,663 --> 00:23:45,900
Good morning, I'm looking
for a lake pahoe.
483
00:23:45,934 --> 00:23:47,402
There's a mr. padgett.
484
00:23:47,435 --> 00:23:48,937
No, no, a lake.
485
00:23:48,970 --> 00:23:50,338
There's no lake here, mate.
486
00:23:50,372 --> 00:23:51,706
This is runcorn avenue.
487
00:23:51,740 --> 00:23:53,074
What's that camera doing?
488
00:23:53,108 --> 00:23:55,110
Camera? what's he want?
489
00:23:55,143 --> 00:23:57,112
Ooh, are we on the telly?
490
00:23:57,145 --> 00:23:58,446
He's looking
for a lake.
491
00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,881
Lake pahoe.
492
00:23:59,914 --> 00:24:03,184
Oh, you want downstairs,
22a, the basement.
493
00:24:03,218 --> 00:24:05,153
Ah! thank you very much,
good morning.
494
00:24:05,186 --> 00:24:06,454
Come on, men, downstairs.
495
00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:08,189
Uh, were you successful,
sir john?
496
00:24:08,256 --> 00:24:09,357
It's in the basement.
497
00:24:09,391 --> 00:24:10,959
In the basement?
498
00:24:10,992 --> 00:24:11,960
Pieces of eight!
499
00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:14,329
Ugh!
500
00:24:17,198 --> 00:24:19,667
Hello?
501
00:24:19,801 --> 00:24:22,404
Oh, I think it's
someone about the damp.
502
00:24:22,437 --> 00:24:23,405
Hello.
503
00:24:23,438 --> 00:24:24,406
Tell them
504
00:24:24,439 --> 00:24:25,974
About the
bleeding rats, too.
505
00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:28,143
I'll go.
506
00:24:28,176 --> 00:24:29,411
Yes?
507
00:24:29,444 --> 00:24:33,281
Good morning,
is this lake pahoe?
508
00:24:33,314 --> 00:24:37,185
Well, I don't know about that,
but it's bleeding damp.
509
00:24:37,218 --> 00:24:38,953
Are you from the council?
510
00:24:38,987 --> 00:24:44,025
No, we are the
official british naval expedition to this lake.
511
00:24:44,059 --> 00:24:45,326
May we come in?
512
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:47,996
Hang on.
513
00:24:57,172 --> 00:24:58,606
Bloody sharks.
514
00:24:58,640 --> 00:24:59,974
Get back in...
515
00:25:00,008 --> 00:25:00,975
Get in.
516
00:25:01,009 --> 00:25:03,611
Get in.
517
00:25:10,385 --> 00:25:15,657
Well, that would appear
to be the end of the expedition.
518
00:25:15,690 --> 00:25:16,925
The magna carta--
519
00:25:16,958 --> 00:25:19,227
Was it a document signed
at runnymede
520
00:25:19,260 --> 00:25:20,495
In 1215 by king john
521
00:25:20,528 --> 00:25:23,198
Pledging independence
to the english barons
522
00:25:23,231 --> 00:25:26,568
Or was it a piece of chewing gum
on a bedspread in dorset?
523
00:25:26,601 --> 00:25:29,270
The latter idea is
the brainchild of a man
524
00:25:29,304 --> 00:25:31,873
New to the field
of historical research.
525
00:25:31,906 --> 00:25:35,677
Mr. badger, why...
why are you on this program?
526
00:25:35,710 --> 00:25:39,114
Well, I think I can answer
this question
527
00:25:39,147 --> 00:25:43,218
Most successfully in mime.
528
00:25:52,861 --> 00:25:55,864
But why dorset?
529
00:25:55,897 --> 00:25:58,400
Well, I have for a long time
been suffering
530
00:25:58,433 --> 00:26:00,235
From a species of brain injury
531
00:26:00,268 --> 00:26:03,104
Which I incurred
during the rigors of childbirth
532
00:26:03,138 --> 00:26:06,541
And I'd like to conclude
by putting my finger up my nose.
533
00:26:06,574 --> 00:26:09,210
Mr. badger, I think
you're the silliest person
534
00:26:09,244 --> 00:26:11,012
We've ever had on this program
535
00:26:11,046 --> 00:26:12,180
And so I'm going
to ask you
536
00:26:12,213 --> 00:26:14,749
To have dinner
with me.
537
00:26:14,783 --> 00:26:18,053
My wife maureen ran off
with a bottle of bell's whiskey
538
00:26:18,086 --> 00:26:20,822
During the aberdeen
versus raith rovers match
539
00:26:20,855 --> 00:26:22,657
Which ended
in a goal-less draw.
540
00:26:22,691 --> 00:26:25,493
Robson, particularly, in goal,
had a magnificent first half
541
00:26:25,527 --> 00:26:27,862
His fine positional sense
preventing the build-up
542
00:26:27,896 --> 00:26:30,565
Of any severe pressure
on the suspect aberdeen defense.
543
00:26:30,598 --> 00:26:32,333
Mcloughlan missed
an easy chance
544
00:26:32,367 --> 00:26:34,569
To clinch the game towards
the final whistle
545
00:26:34,602 --> 00:26:36,237
But raith must be
well satisfied
546
00:26:36,271 --> 00:26:37,238
With their point.
547
00:26:37,272 --> 00:26:38,807
Do please go on.
548
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,009
This is the least fascinating
conversation I've ever had.
549
00:26:41,042 --> 00:26:42,477
Would you like to order, sir?
550
00:26:42,510 --> 00:26:45,013
Yes, mr. badger,
what would you like to start with?
551
00:26:45,046 --> 00:26:48,216
Uh, I'll have a whiskey
to start with.
552
00:26:48,249 --> 00:26:49,384
For first course, sir?
553
00:26:49,417 --> 00:26:51,152
Aye.
554
00:26:51,186 --> 00:26:52,921
And for main course, sir?
555
00:26:52,954 --> 00:26:55,223
Uh, I'll have a whiskey
for main course
556
00:26:55,256 --> 00:26:58,293
And I'll follow
that with a whiskey for pudding.
557
00:26:58,326 --> 00:27:01,830
Yes, sir, and what would you
like with it, sir? a whiskey?
558
00:27:01,863 --> 00:27:04,432
No, a bottle of wine.
559
00:27:04,466 --> 00:27:07,135
"fine, sir," he said
between clenched teeth
560
00:27:07,168 --> 00:27:10,205
Knowing full well it was
a most unrewarding part.
561
00:27:10,238 --> 00:27:13,842
This is the silliest sketch
I've ever been in.
562
00:27:13,875 --> 00:27:17,245
Shall we stop it?
563
00:27:17,612 --> 00:27:20,882
Yeah, all right.
564
00:27:20,932 --> 00:27:25,482
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