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In November 2009,
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00:00:02,304 --> 00:00:06,005
Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily
hosted the first Thanksgiving.
3
00:00:06,795 --> 00:00:08,955
Marshall had found
the perfect turkey.
4
00:00:09,341 --> 00:00:12,159
Baby, it is beautiful.
5
00:00:12,284 --> 00:00:15,047
It's 22 pounds.
It's organic.
6
00:00:15,172 --> 00:00:18,610
Remember my bald Uncle Heinrek?
It looks exactly like his head.
7
00:00:21,074 --> 00:00:22,105
My turkey...
8
00:00:24,643 --> 00:00:27,902
So, when we showed up for the big day,
Marshall was pretty bummed out.
9
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:29,988
Well, we got the turkey.
10
00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:32,484
You didn't.
You got the pathetic replacement turkey.
11
00:00:32,609 --> 00:00:34,879
Damn it, why didn't I listen
to the precorded voice
12
00:00:35,004 --> 00:00:37,620
of former mayor Ed Koch
reminding me to take my belongings?
13
00:00:39,713 --> 00:00:42,750
- You don't understand.
- We went to the port authority,
14
00:00:42,918 --> 00:00:44,752
and there,
sitting in their fridge...
15
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,007
Is this your turkey?
16
00:00:49,323 --> 00:00:50,673
That's my turkey!
17
00:00:51,533 --> 00:00:53,656
Come here,
you handsome little bastard!
18
00:00:54,270 --> 00:00:55,972
I'm gonna go put this in the oven.
19
00:00:57,074 --> 00:00:58,474
You are the best friends ever!
20
00:00:59,639 --> 00:01:01,448
It was totally a team effort.
21
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,132
I don't know what to say.
It's Thanksgiving,
22
00:01:07,257 --> 00:01:09,110
but thanks doesn't seem like enough.
23
00:01:09,279 --> 00:01:11,104
You would've done
the same thing for us.
24
00:01:11,229 --> 00:01:13,573
I would, and you know why?
Because I love you.
25
00:01:14,048 --> 00:01:15,799
I'm going to show you just how much.
26
00:01:18,718 --> 00:01:20,216
I bequeath unto you
27
00:01:21,496 --> 00:01:22,667
the fourth slap.
28
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,250
What?
29
00:01:24,468 --> 00:01:27,170
Kids, you remember
Barney and Marshall's "slap bet".
30
00:01:27,858 --> 00:01:30,862
When Barney lost, Marshall won the right
to slap Barney five times
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00:01:30,987 --> 00:01:34,302
as hard as he could.
So far, he'd used three slaps.
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With the third being doled out
exactly two years earlier
33
00:01:39,404 --> 00:01:41,142
on Thanksgiving day 2007.
34
00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:45,244
A day that history came to know
as "Slapsgiving".
35
00:01:45,970 --> 00:01:48,232
- Are you saying...
- What we think you're saying?
36
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:49,651
Probably not.
37
00:01:50,653 --> 00:01:52,027
Unless you think I'm saying
38
00:01:52,152 --> 00:01:54,669
"Slapsgiving two:
revenge of the slap",
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00:01:54,794 --> 00:01:57,492
in which case, yes,
that's exactly what I'm saying!
40
00:01:58,414 --> 00:01:59,414
No way!
41
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:03,204
- Slaps aren't transferable.
- Lily is the slap bet commissioner.
42
00:02:05,013 --> 00:02:06,250
Slaps are transferable.
43
00:02:08,255 --> 00:02:10,859
You realize you'll only have
one left after this.
44
00:02:10,984 --> 00:02:12,924
Are you sure
you want to spend this slap today?
45
00:02:13,092 --> 00:02:15,009
Life is short.
I figured, Slap-e Diem.
46
00:02:16,298 --> 00:02:18,512
Rule number one:
the slap must occur before sundown,
47
00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:20,515
so as not to interfere
with Lily's meal.
48
00:02:21,419 --> 00:02:23,559
Two, you have to decide
who gets to do it.
49
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:26,970
Three...
We're going to tie barney to this chair,
50
00:02:27,095 --> 00:02:29,651
which shall henceforth be referred
to as the slapping throne.
51
00:02:29,776 --> 00:02:30,633
Sound fair?
52
00:02:30,758 --> 00:02:32,541
- Totally.
- Absolutely not!
53
00:02:32,882 --> 00:02:35,421
It was all set to be
the best Thanksgiving ever.
54
00:02:35,696 --> 00:02:36,696
Until...
55
00:02:37,116 --> 00:02:38,872
Are we expecting somebody else?
56
00:02:38,997 --> 00:02:42,547
It was someone Lily hadn't seen
or spoken to in three years.
57
00:02:44,234 --> 00:02:45,234
Dad.
58
00:02:45,798 --> 00:02:48,108
Synchro : -Titou-
59
00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:58,636
.:: La Fabrique ::.
60
00:02:58,958 --> 00:03:02,098
Now, Lily and her dad, Mickey,
had always had a tough relationship.
61
00:03:02,890 --> 00:03:05,915
Mickey's dream was to invent
the next great American board game.
62
00:03:06,129 --> 00:03:07,687
But his ideas were a little off.
63
00:03:08,295 --> 00:03:09,295
Daddy?
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00:03:09,832 --> 00:03:11,649
You missed my ballet recital.
65
00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:13,420
Yes, but, look!
66
00:03:13,545 --> 00:03:16,404
I just put the finishing touches
on my new, hit board game,
67
00:03:16,759 --> 00:03:18,209
"Tijuana Slumlord".
68
00:03:21,317 --> 00:03:23,106
You missed my gymnastics meet.
69
00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:25,204
But this is the one!
70
00:03:27,050 --> 00:03:28,200
"Car Battery:
71
00:03:28,396 --> 00:03:30,283
"how long can you hold on?"
72
00:03:33,999 --> 00:03:34,839
Grab these.
73
00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:39,594
I had a nightmare.
74
00:03:42,858 --> 00:03:45,008
Here, come play daddy's new game:
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00:03:45,482 --> 00:03:47,392
"There's a clown demon
under the bed!"
76
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:51,096
Her whole life,
Mickey disappointed Lily.
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00:03:51,221 --> 00:03:52,440
And she put up with it,
78
00:03:52,934 --> 00:03:54,990
until one day in 2006
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00:03:55,212 --> 00:03:57,178
when Lily went to visit
her grandparents.
80
00:03:57,303 --> 00:03:59,655
So, Rita, are you excited
about the big move to Florida?
81
00:04:00,019 --> 00:04:01,879
Actually, slight change of plans.
82
00:04:02,004 --> 00:04:04,285
We're staying here
for the time being.
83
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,358
We had a slight financial hiccup.
84
00:04:08,632 --> 00:04:10,732
The straw to my juice box broke!
85
00:04:18,875 --> 00:04:22,614
- What a pleasant surprise.
- What happened to your apartment?
86
00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:25,055
I had a little falling out
with my roommate.
87
00:04:25,357 --> 00:04:27,462
- What happened?
- He wanted me to pay rent.
88
00:04:28,042 --> 00:04:29,392
Got kind of ugly.
89
00:04:29,669 --> 00:04:32,673
You should be paying rent,
not living in your parents' basement.
90
00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,731
It's not my first choice.
91
00:04:34,856 --> 00:04:37,943
Having the old farts right upstairs
is crimpin' my style a bit.
92
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:41,488
Clearly, they're not getting
the whole "sock on the doorknob" thing.
93
00:04:41,927 --> 00:04:44,577
- They caught you with a girl?
- In a way.
94
00:04:46,673 --> 00:04:47,972
I'm off to work.
95
00:04:48,359 --> 00:04:51,188
- You're retired.
- Now I have an extra mouth to feed,
96
00:04:51,419 --> 00:04:53,041
I had to go back to the steel mill.
97
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,502
Where's my truss?
98
00:04:56,172 --> 00:04:58,800
So, not only did you stop them
from moving to Florida,
99
00:04:58,925 --> 00:05:01,174
but now you forced Grandpa
to go back to work?
100
00:05:01,544 --> 00:05:04,665
Just until I get Aldrin Games
unlimited off the ground
101
00:05:04,790 --> 00:05:06,263
with my new sensation:
102
00:05:06,923 --> 00:05:08,473
"Dog Fight Promoter".
103
00:05:09,220 --> 00:05:13,145
Lily gave her dad a look that Marshall
had only seen a few times before.
104
00:05:13,557 --> 00:05:16,341
A look we all prayed never to be
on the receiving end of:
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00:05:16,857 --> 00:05:18,734
her "you're dead to me" look.
106
00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:25,575
Which brings us
back to Thanksgiving of 2009.
107
00:05:28,276 --> 00:05:29,953
I brought "Diseases"!
108
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,807
- Why is he here?
- Dunno.
109
00:05:36,932 --> 00:05:38,713
But we should let him in
and find out.
110
00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:41,208
No, I don't want to see him!
Get rid of him!
111
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:51,975
Just hang tight, okay?
We'll, we'll work this out.
112
00:05:52,355 --> 00:05:55,366
Take your time, amigo.
I'm okay as long as I have "diseases"!
113
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,339
The fun's infectious.
114
00:06:05,087 --> 00:06:07,645
- God, I hope Lily's okay.
- Me, too.
115
00:06:07,897 --> 00:06:11,077
She doesn't talk about it much,
but this thing causes her a lot of pain.
116
00:06:11,289 --> 00:06:13,539
Just tell me which one of you
is gonna slap me!
117
00:06:13,769 --> 00:06:15,541
- What?
- I'm dying over here!
118
00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:18,920
Ted reaches for a chip, I flinch!
Robin fixes her hair, I flinch!
119
00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:21,948
I'm doing so much flinching.
It's bad for my skin.
120
00:06:22,073 --> 00:06:24,342
I'm getting crow's feet.
Crow's feet!
121
00:06:25,739 --> 00:06:29,180
Lily, it's been three years, okay?
That's long enough.
122
00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:32,619
Having him in my life
causes me nothing but stress.
123
00:06:32,834 --> 00:06:35,101
It's just easier for him
to be dead to me.
124
00:06:37,207 --> 00:06:40,608
I supported you when our neighbor,
Mr. Ossias, was "dead to you".
125
00:06:42,988 --> 00:06:45,821
- That's our newspaper.
- You'll get it back in 15 minutes.
126
00:06:47,104 --> 00:06:49,833
Make it 20.
I had a steak last night.
127
00:06:57,647 --> 00:07:00,836
And I was fine when your bridesmaid,
Whitney, was "dead to you".
128
00:07:02,799 --> 00:07:04,299
You look so amazing!
129
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:05,925
That dress is gorgeous!
130
00:07:06,381 --> 00:07:07,426
Thanks, guys.
131
00:07:08,989 --> 00:07:11,089
I'm just not a fan of strapless.
132
00:07:18,845 --> 00:07:22,358
I even understood when Mr. Park
was "dead to you."
133
00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,110
One coffee, please.
134
00:07:24,354 --> 00:07:27,154
But only if you have decaf.
I don't want to be up all night.
135
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:28,553
Dollar fifty.
136
00:07:31,094 --> 00:07:33,546
- Coffee, regular.
- Dollar fifty.
137
00:07:38,635 --> 00:07:40,707
Excuse me.
Are you sure mine was decaf?
138
00:07:40,832 --> 00:07:42,128
You just used the same pot.
139
00:07:43,347 --> 00:07:44,843
I lie to him. Okay?
140
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,745
You son of a bitch.
141
00:07:55,643 --> 00:07:57,059
That was not decaf!
142
00:08:05,644 --> 00:08:08,393
I supported you
with all of those random people,
143
00:08:08,518 --> 00:08:10,331
but this is your father.
144
00:08:10,456 --> 00:08:13,284
Can't we at least
just give him some turkey?
145
00:08:13,983 --> 00:08:14,983
Come on.
146
00:08:15,154 --> 00:08:17,288
Please, I can't ask the guy
to leave on Thanksgiving.
147
00:08:18,043 --> 00:08:19,306
You don't have to ask.
148
00:08:19,431 --> 00:08:22,082
Just tell him that it's really important
that he be here.
149
00:08:22,207 --> 00:08:25,650
And before you know it,
he'll be at a game convention in Toledo,
150
00:08:25,775 --> 00:08:29,342
giving your braces money to some guy
claiming to be Milton Bradley.
151
00:08:30,062 --> 00:08:32,219
He was just out
trying to provide for the family.
152
00:08:33,215 --> 00:08:35,723
No, that's what my mom did
by working two jobs.
153
00:08:37,271 --> 00:08:41,388
That man broke my heart
every single day for 20 years.
154
00:08:44,087 --> 00:08:46,733
Well, then we'll just give him
some dark meat.
155
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,580
No, seriously, Robin,
you should get the slap.
156
00:08:50,705 --> 00:08:52,156
You're a great slapper.
157
00:08:52,855 --> 00:08:55,552
In fact, I want to study slapping
under your tutelage.
158
00:08:55,804 --> 00:08:57,243
I want to be your slap-prentice.
159
00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:02,082
Don't sell yourself short there.
You're a slapping rock star.
160
00:09:02,207 --> 00:09:04,168
Your name should be Eric Slapton.
161
00:09:05,137 --> 00:09:07,200
This is torture.
Just put me in the chair...
162
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,715
- Slapping throne.
- And get it over with!
163
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,967
- He's all yours.
- It's you, I insist.
164
00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:14,335
- Okay, I'll do it.
- Wait, what?
165
00:09:14,973 --> 00:09:15,930
I'll slap him.
166
00:09:16,208 --> 00:09:18,557
What, so that's just, like,
the end of the discussion?
167
00:09:19,482 --> 00:09:21,282
You said I could slap him.
168
00:09:22,537 --> 00:09:23,938
I was just being nice.
169
00:09:24,678 --> 00:09:27,024
If anyone's gonna slap him,
it's gonna be me.
170
00:09:27,519 --> 00:09:28,776
No, it's not.
171
00:09:31,666 --> 00:09:33,331
This is interesting.
172
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:37,269
Lily, he's family, okay?
173
00:09:37,394 --> 00:09:40,037
And I'm sorry,
but you just don't cut off family.
174
00:09:40,708 --> 00:09:42,163
That's easy for you to say
175
00:09:42,288 --> 00:09:45,959
when you come from the most
ridiculously close family in the world.
176
00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:47,837
We are not ridiculously close.
177
00:09:48,005 --> 00:09:48,768
Really?
178
00:09:48,893 --> 00:09:51,507
What about the Eriksen family dinner
every single sunday?
179
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:54,265
Everything looks delicious,
Mother Eriksen.
180
00:09:54,495 --> 00:09:56,011
Thank you, Papa Oear.
181
00:09:58,236 --> 00:09:59,432
Would you say grace?
182
00:10:00,010 --> 00:10:02,170
Well, I would be happy to, mother.
183
00:10:03,128 --> 00:10:04,728
Everyone, please join hands.
184
00:10:10,512 --> 00:10:11,359
Dear Lord...
185
00:10:11,841 --> 00:10:13,654
I'm sorry, but that's weird.
186
00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:15,866
A family should be that close.
187
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,993
I want our future family to be close.
And that includes your dad.
188
00:10:19,177 --> 00:10:21,078
I can't believe
you're taking his side.
189
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:23,865
Let me be clear on this.
190
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:26,062
That man will never cross
191
00:10:26,187 --> 00:10:28,669
the threshold into this home, ever!
192
00:10:29,711 --> 00:10:31,714
It's just gonna be,
like, five more minutes.
193
00:10:32,311 --> 00:10:33,679
Hopefully soon, amigo.
194
00:10:33,804 --> 00:10:36,260
I'm fighting a losing battle
with hemorrhoids here.
195
00:10:36,831 --> 00:10:38,178
That's one of the diseases?
196
00:10:44,299 --> 00:10:46,414
Ted, there is an hour
before the sun sets,
197
00:10:46,539 --> 00:10:48,674
at which point,
neither one gets to slap Barney.
198
00:10:48,799 --> 00:10:50,045
So just let me have it.
199
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:52,819
I had the idea to call
the port authority lost and found.
200
00:10:52,944 --> 00:10:54,620
That's a good point.
Rebuttal?
201
00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,569
- I'm the one who slipped the guy a 20!
- Philosophical conundrum.
202
00:10:57,694 --> 00:11:00,284
Idea versus execution.
Please discuss at length.
203
00:11:00,758 --> 00:11:02,870
I carried that huge turkey
all the way up here.
204
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,296
I paid for cab fare.
205
00:11:04,421 --> 00:11:06,123
You slept
with one of my best friends!
206
00:11:06,564 --> 00:11:07,564
What?
207
00:11:07,973 --> 00:11:10,002
- You said you were okay with that.
- I'm not!
208
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,962
Why didn't you say
something at the time?
209
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:13,964
Because I'm still in love with you!
210
00:11:17,499 --> 00:11:19,332
Do you really want
to slap Barney so bad
211
00:11:19,457 --> 00:11:21,347
you would lie
about being in love with me?
212
00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:22,889
I really want to slap him!
213
00:11:24,611 --> 00:11:26,749
Your dad has made
some mistakes in the past,
214
00:11:26,874 --> 00:11:28,487
but he's a different person now.
215
00:11:28,612 --> 00:11:31,398
He's out of your grandparents' house.
He's got a job.
216
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,108
He's paying off his IRS debts.
217
00:11:33,278 --> 00:11:34,712
How do you know all that?
218
00:11:36,873 --> 00:11:37,863
Body language.
219
00:11:39,931 --> 00:11:41,951
We met for a drink last week.
220
00:11:43,426 --> 00:11:44,619
I miss her a ton.
221
00:11:45,428 --> 00:11:46,539
Little princess.
222
00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:49,382
She ever talk about me?
223
00:11:51,488 --> 00:11:52,938
Like, all the time.
224
00:11:53,489 --> 00:11:55,548
She tells
this one really sweet story about...
225
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,424
- So never?
- Not a word.
226
00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:00,738
But...
It doesn't have to be that way.
227
00:12:00,863 --> 00:12:02,429
We can fix this, right?
228
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:06,642
You know, I always thought
it'd get fixed at the wedding.
229
00:12:07,988 --> 00:12:09,538
I even wrote a toast.
230
00:12:11,112 --> 00:12:12,856
But then, no invite.
231
00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:17,924
Hell, I haven't even seen
a wedding photo.
232
00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:19,671
And then, right before my eyes,
233
00:12:19,796 --> 00:12:22,375
your father broke down crying.
234
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,458
That's it!
235
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:28,247
You're coming to Thanksgiving!
236
00:12:29,802 --> 00:12:31,125
You invited him?
237
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:34,295
The guy was, like, blubbering.
What was I going to do?
238
00:12:34,614 --> 00:12:36,835
Then, some jerk at the next table
called him a sissy
239
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:38,716
which I thought
was totally uncalled-for.
240
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:42,094
I can't believe you.
What gives you the right to do that?
241
00:12:42,301 --> 00:12:43,550
You and I are married.
242
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,347
And that means he's my family, too.
243
00:13:06,084 --> 00:13:07,828
Ted, you better roll quickly.
244
00:13:08,039 --> 00:13:09,705
Your gall bladder's about to burst.
245
00:13:10,297 --> 00:13:13,083
Mickey, it's been half an hour.
I think we should go look for Lily.
246
00:13:13,608 --> 00:13:16,253
She just needs some time to cool down.
Let's finish the game.
247
00:13:16,464 --> 00:13:18,464
Play another round.
Best of seven!
248
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:21,094
Damn it, Robin!
I've known Barney the longest.
249
00:13:21,219 --> 00:13:22,301
I get to slap him.
250
00:13:22,512 --> 00:13:24,363
That slap is mine, Mosby.
251
00:13:24,488 --> 00:13:26,362
I've never slapped Barney...
252
00:13:26,487 --> 00:13:27,789
above the waist.
253
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:30,434
I've wanted to slap Barney
since the moment I met him!
254
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,424
You don't think
that I want to slap Barney?
255
00:13:32,549 --> 00:13:33,729
Wait a minute!
256
00:13:34,049 --> 00:13:36,525
This slap was supposed to be
a wonderful thing, a gift,
257
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:37,733
and...
258
00:13:38,403 --> 00:13:39,944
it's turned us against each other.
259
00:13:40,923 --> 00:13:42,473
My God, you're right.
260
00:13:43,237 --> 00:13:46,437
This once pure fruit has turned
into a poison slapple.
261
00:13:47,799 --> 00:13:49,703
You know what?
Seriously, you take it.
262
00:13:49,935 --> 00:13:50,871
Are you sure?
263
00:13:51,423 --> 00:13:52,498
Slapsolutely.
264
00:13:53,989 --> 00:13:56,085
I really think
that we should go look for Lily.
265
00:13:57,248 --> 00:13:59,511
Gall bladder about to pop.
266
00:14:00,216 --> 00:14:02,929
It's decided. Barney, come on.
Get in the throne.
267
00:14:03,523 --> 00:14:04,523
Are you...
268
00:14:04,791 --> 00:14:05,791
Come on.
269
00:14:06,806 --> 00:14:08,522
Well, I guess that is the...
270
00:14:08,766 --> 00:14:10,516
best decision, Robin.
I mean...
271
00:14:10,727 --> 00:14:13,059
Men are stronger than women.
272
00:14:13,864 --> 00:14:16,271
Don't listen to him.
It's been decided.
273
00:14:16,482 --> 00:14:18,482
And that's what
you've always wanted, isn't it?
274
00:14:19,179 --> 00:14:21,485
A strong man to take care of you?
275
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:24,433
I mean, sure.
Growing up, you were a scrapper.
276
00:14:24,738 --> 00:14:26,481
Playing hockey with the boys,
277
00:14:26,743 --> 00:14:28,826
skinning your knees on the ice.
278
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,949
But what you couldn't tell
your teammates...
279
00:14:31,074 --> 00:14:33,058
What you couldn't
even tell yourself...
280
00:14:34,049 --> 00:14:36,199
was that all you really wanted...
281
00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:38,299
was that pretty white dress...
282
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,063
in that pretty white chapel.
283
00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:44,169
And at the end of that center aisle,
284
00:14:44,294 --> 00:14:46,832
strewn with pretty white flowers,
285
00:14:47,618 --> 00:14:51,598
a man to do
all your slapping for you.
286
00:14:51,870 --> 00:14:53,016
Let me at him!
287
00:14:57,883 --> 00:14:59,738
- What just happened?
- Sorry, Ted.
288
00:14:59,863 --> 00:15:01,267
Gallbladder burst.
289
00:15:01,618 --> 00:15:03,193
You move back three spaces.
290
00:15:03,966 --> 00:15:05,024
You come in here,
291
00:15:05,607 --> 00:15:08,236
and you watch your daughter leave,
and you don't even care.
292
00:15:08,361 --> 00:15:10,802
And now
you've destroyed Thanksgiving dinner!
293
00:15:10,927 --> 00:15:12,745
Lily worked all day on this!
294
00:15:13,174 --> 00:15:14,750
Relax. It's not real bile.
295
00:15:14,875 --> 00:15:17,202
It's just lead-based paint
from China.
296
00:15:17,862 --> 00:15:19,112
And horse bile.
297
00:15:19,611 --> 00:15:20,794
And at that moment,
298
00:15:21,005 --> 00:15:22,333
Marshall gave Mickey a look
299
00:15:22,458 --> 00:15:24,570
none of us had ever seen him
give anyone.
300
00:15:25,927 --> 00:15:28,886
- What's this? What's he doing?
- Did you swallow some of that paint?
301
00:15:29,096 --> 00:15:30,929
This is my "you're dead to me" look.
302
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:34,808
Lily's is so much better...
303
00:15:35,019 --> 00:15:36,237
Get out of my house!
304
00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:45,903
Mr. Park's? This is the last place
I expected to find you.
305
00:15:46,559 --> 00:15:47,446
I'm sorry.
306
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:48,913
But just hear me out.
307
00:15:50,361 --> 00:15:53,019
I used to think
that family was a right.
308
00:15:53,237 --> 00:15:55,869
But it's not. It's a privilege,
and it has to be earned.
309
00:15:56,904 --> 00:15:58,123
I kicked your dad out.
310
00:15:58,861 --> 00:16:01,825
And I promise, baby,
I will never make you see him again.
311
00:16:03,538 --> 00:16:04,254
What?
312
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:05,756
Baby, what happened?
313
00:16:06,315 --> 00:16:08,979
Marshall,
I came in here because it was cold
314
00:16:09,104 --> 00:16:11,149
and this was the only place
that was open.
315
00:16:11,274 --> 00:16:14,024
I wasn't even gonna look Mr. Park
in the eye.
316
00:16:14,736 --> 00:16:16,115
And then I found out...
317
00:16:17,153 --> 00:16:18,477
Mr. Park died.
318
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,431
He really is dead to me!
319
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,944
And if I feel this bad
about never making up with Mr. Park,
320
00:16:28,535 --> 00:16:31,198
a guy who meant
literally nothing to me...
321
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:37,060
We got to go get my dad.
322
00:16:39,937 --> 00:16:42,601
So that's how on Thanksgiving 2009,
323
00:16:42,726 --> 00:16:44,976
your aunt Lily performed a miracle.
324
00:16:45,612 --> 00:16:47,962
She brought a man
back from the dead.
325
00:16:48,865 --> 00:16:49,865
Everyone.
326
00:16:50,678 --> 00:16:52,309
Before we get started, Barney,
327
00:16:52,593 --> 00:16:55,347
we're going to need you
on the slapping throne.
328
00:16:57,321 --> 00:17:00,362
Slap bet commissioner, surely tying me
to a chair is a breach...
329
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,521
Less yappin', more slappin'.
330
00:17:04,047 --> 00:17:05,979
Ted, Robin.
It's two minutes until sundown.
331
00:17:06,104 --> 00:17:07,688
Have you decided which one of you
332
00:17:07,904 --> 00:17:10,529
is going to get
to slap Barney right in his face?
333
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:13,745
It's gonna be Ted.
334
00:17:14,047 --> 00:17:15,197
What? Why me?
335
00:17:15,987 --> 00:17:18,337
Last year,
you got left at the altar.
336
00:17:18,612 --> 00:17:19,810
You lost your job.
337
00:17:20,563 --> 00:17:22,708
But you've come
such a long way since then.
338
00:17:23,987 --> 00:17:25,435
I'm so proud of you, Ted.
339
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:28,970
You deserve
to slap someone in his face,
340
00:17:29,095 --> 00:17:30,545
as hard as you can.
341
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,217
Thanks.
342
00:17:32,470 --> 00:17:33,760
This is the worst.
343
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,060
Mama!
344
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,231
You went through
your breakup, and...
345
00:17:46,796 --> 00:17:49,766
While I know you and Barney
left it on good terms, isn't there...
346
00:17:50,207 --> 00:17:52,125
some part of you, deep down,
347
00:17:52,250 --> 00:17:54,990
that wants to slap him
right in his face?
348
00:17:55,756 --> 00:17:56,574
There is.
349
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:57,784
I know there is.
350
00:17:57,995 --> 00:17:59,578
This is basically hell on earth.
351
00:18:03,268 --> 00:18:04,268
All right.
352
00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:10,089
It hurts!
353
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,632
I can't do it.
354
00:18:12,717 --> 00:18:14,558
I can't take this from you, Ted.
355
00:18:14,683 --> 00:18:15,683
No or I, you.
356
00:18:15,931 --> 00:18:16,931
Thank God.
357
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:18,960
So, I'd like to make a gesture.
358
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:21,809
No way!
359
00:18:22,185 --> 00:18:24,519
I'm glad you and Lily
are trying to work things out.
360
00:18:25,522 --> 00:18:27,898
So, to welcome you
to our little family...
361
00:18:29,121 --> 00:18:30,838
I'd like to offer you this slap.
362
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,277
Really?
363
00:18:34,494 --> 00:18:36,239
Well, I feel a little weird.
364
00:18:36,409 --> 00:18:38,040
I just met barney,
365
00:18:38,165 --> 00:18:40,318
and I don't have anything
against the guy, but...
366
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:44,352
how often do you get a chance
to slap someone right in his face?
367
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:51,797
Soft!
368
00:18:53,117 --> 00:18:54,466
I'm sorry.
I can't do it.
369
00:18:54,784 --> 00:18:55,676
Thank God.
370
00:18:56,232 --> 00:18:57,232
Lily...
371
00:18:58,145 --> 00:19:00,013
I haven't been much
of a father to you.
372
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,630
You are kidding me.
373
00:19:02,851 --> 00:19:04,809
So for all the ballet recitals
I missed,
374
00:19:05,714 --> 00:19:08,021
for all the art shows
that I should've been at...
375
00:19:09,327 --> 00:19:11,984
for the wedding gift
I never got a chance to give to you...
376
00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,369
Princess...
377
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:16,569
I give this slap...
378
00:19:17,368 --> 00:19:18,156
to you.
379
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:25,622
She is the slap bet commissioner.
She's supposed to remain impartial!
380
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,791
Slap bet commissioner says
it's okay.
381
00:19:29,186 --> 00:19:30,536
This is not good.
382
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:33,714
Please.
383
00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:34,882
Let me...
384
00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:37,373
Just close your eyes.
It'll be over soon.
385
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,054
Running through a meadow.
386
00:19:41,697 --> 00:19:42,723
I can't do it.
387
00:19:43,161 --> 00:19:44,575
Why can't I do it?
388
00:19:44,924 --> 00:19:46,613
Because...
389
00:19:46,738 --> 00:19:49,546
this slap has done
exactly what I hoped.
390
00:19:50,125 --> 00:19:51,690
It's brought us all closer together.
391
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,996
And it's caused us to recognize
392
00:19:54,381 --> 00:19:56,613
both the frailty and the greatness
393
00:19:57,231 --> 00:19:58,331
in ourselves
394
00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,365
and each other.
395
00:20:00,673 --> 00:20:01,973
Give me a break.
396
00:20:02,798 --> 00:20:03,981
And that is why...
397
00:20:05,938 --> 00:20:09,708
There will be no slap today.
398
00:20:13,727 --> 00:20:15,502
This is the best Thanksgiving...
399
00:20:17,302 --> 00:20:18,401
That's four!
400
00:20:19,299 --> 00:20:20,349
So, turkey?
401
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,975
From Aldrin games unlimited, it's...
Slap Bet!
402
00:20:27,951 --> 00:20:30,520
The slap-happy game
that's a real hit.
403
00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,955
You just got slapped,
404
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:37,152
across the face, my friend...
405
00:20:37,788 --> 00:20:39,072
For kids of all ages.
406
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,532
You just got slapped,
407
00:20:40,657 --> 00:20:42,866
that really just happened...
408
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,078
Everybody saw it,
409
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:49,429
everybody laughed and clapped,
410
00:20:49,554 --> 00:20:51,668
- 'cause it was awesome...
- I win!
411
00:20:51,793 --> 00:20:53,586
The way that you just got slapped.
412
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:57,172
Slap yourself silly with Slap Bet,
the happy hitting game from Aldrin.
30848
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