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Hello New York! I'm Bobby Rydell.
And I'm glad to be here.

Thank you all for coming to see us tonight.
It's Saturday night in the Copa!

We think that we're gonna
have a great time tonight.

We're gonna do our best
to make sure of that.

As always a very special thanks to
Mr. Jules Podell for having us out.

Let's get started.

Hello sweetheart.

Here is my coat.

And you see this here hat?

I want you to guard it with your life.

- It was a gift from my mother.
- Yes, Mr. Loscudo.

Yeah. That's for you.

Thank you sir.

Joey!

- Hey Carmine! How are you pal?
- Good to see you.

Oh thank you! That's unnecessary.

Come on! Let's go. On the album.

I saw this kid Bobby Rydell
two and a half years

ago in South Philly.
Nobody knew who he was.

They know now.

Hey!

Gimme Loscudo's hat.

- But he said to guard it...
- I know, I heard. Give it to me. A'right?

Tony Lip!

You put your hands
on me, you punk?

Do yourself a favor. Go
home with your friends.

You don't tell me where to go! Do you
know who I am?! I'm goin' back in there!

You tell Jules Lipobdell. If I don't get
my hat I'm gonna burn this joint down.

I swear to God it's
gonna turn up.

Really? You tell that fat Jew bastard I
don't get my hat I'll burn Copa down!

I'm gonna have to go back
to driving garbage trucks.

Jesus Christ!

Screw those! He's out of his mind.

We earned our money tonight.

Lip, I thought you
were gonna kill that guy.

Yeah!

Better him than me.

So... What are you gonna do
while we're closed?

I don't know. Maybe go work
at my Uncle's pizza joint.

- You?
- I'm gonna drink for 2 months.

Take me home, Lip.

See you Carmine.

- No! You shouldn't. That shouldn't happen.
- I don't wanna be a...

My hat!

Heard it was missing,
so I looked into it.

- I wanted to kill that broad.
- No. No. Wasn't her fault.

Who had the balls to clip Joey's hat?

- Don't worry about it, I took care of him.
- Yeah! I hope you gave him some beating.

Here. Take this. Put
it in your kick.

No. No thanks. It was a
pleasure, Mr. Loscudo.

Bullshit! Take it.

And from now on, you don't call
me Mr Loscude, ya hear me?

I'm your pal Joey.

Good morning.

Good night!

- Come on, Roger! Hit one out!
- Johnny quite! You're gonna jinx it.

Hey Johnny, think you can
yell a little louder?

- Maris is up.
- Yeah, so am I now.

What the hell are you
guys doing here?

We came over to give Dolores company.

Come on!

Come on Roger! Please!

- I'll walk you out.
- Sure.

When did you get back to
these board games? Come on!

Thank you so much!

We got it!
We got it! Yeah!

Do it again. Let's do it again.
Come on baby!

No! Tony, go get dressed.
We're gonna eat.

Alright!

No game seven. No game seven.

From thy bounty through
Christ our Lord, Amen.

And if anyone hears of a job for
Tony, let us know.

- Dolor! Please.
- What?

- What happened? Did you get fired?
- No.

No, The Copa's closing for repairs. So he
just needs something for a couple months.

All the people he knows, he'll find
something in no time.

Oh. He had a great job at the
sanitation department.

You shouldn't have
punched out the foreman.

He shouldn't have woke me up.

That's Tony.

I'm tellin' you, this is
gonna be the easiest fifty

- bucks you ever gonna made.
- Yeah we'll see.

Hey! There they are.

Hi Johnny.

- Tony!
- Hey Paulie. How you doing?

I'm good. I'm good. So,
Johnny here tells me you ate

forty-eight White Castle
burgers all in one sitting.

Cheese burgers.

- You tell them Frankie.
- I don't believe you.

What do I care if you believe me?

Hey Gorman.

- What's the record here for Hotdogs?
- Eighteen. Fat Paulie.

- Why wasn't Lip in on that contest?
- What contest? I was hungry.

Bet's simple. Half a C-note.

- Most hotdogs in an hour wins.
- With toppings.

What the hell you weigh?

- Two sixty.
- Aaaaay. Your left ass weighs two sixty.

May my mother-in-law drop dead
on the spot if I'm lyin'.

- Alright. You're up.
- Good.

Pick it up Lip! The baby
elephant just hit nineteen!

Let's go Lip! Let's go. Come on.

You are embarrassing. You're embarrassing
your son. He's killing you.

- Hey Nicky. You do your homework?
- Yep.

Good.

- Where have you been?
- Gorman's.

I'm making dinner!

Fat Paulie bet me fifty bucks he
could eat more hot dogs than me.

He knocked off twenty four.
Guy's an animal.

Are you crazy?

You lost fifty dollars?

Dolores. Please.

I ate twenty six.

You're so lucky.

You know that?

Rent is due on Monday.

You're gonna get that?

Yeah?

Hey Lip. Some guy called over here, a
doctor. He's looking for a driver.

- You interested?
- Yeah.

They're interviewing
guys tomorrow afternoon.

The address is...

Eight eighty one, 7th avenue, two fifteen.

Hey!

- Excuse me.
- We're not open right now. But you're

welcome to buy tickets to
tonight's performance.

Nah. That's not it.

I think I got the wrong address.
But is there a doctor's office in here?

A doctor's office?

- Dr Shirley.

You have the correct address. Dr Shirley
lives upstairs, above the hall.

How you doing?

I'm here for the driver job.
Tony Lip.

No Tony Lip.

No it should be on there.

No... Um...

- I have a Tony Val... Valle...
- Vallelonga. Yeah, that's me.

- Fill it out while you wait.
- What?

Fill it out while you wait.

Have a seat.

Mr. Vallelonga, sorry to keep you
waiting.

I'm Dr. Donald Shirley.

- Tony.
- Yes. Please sit down.

Some place you got in here.

Them horns real?

Elephant tusks. Yes.

What about that?

That a molar?

- A what?
- A molar.

Like a Shark tooth?

Tiger's maybe.

It was a gift.

I thought, I thought I
was going to a office.

They said a doctor needed a driver.

That's all they told you?

- Yeah.
- Actually, it's a bit more complicated than that.

Have you ever driven
professionally before?

Sanitation. Garbage trucks.

Plus I drive my boss home at night.
But I can drive anything.

Limos, tow trucks.

Snow palms, whatever.

I see. What other
experience do you have?

I worked a lot of joints. The Wagon
Wheel, Peppermint Lounge, Copa

- In what capacity?
- What do you mean?

- What did you do there?
- Ah...

Public relations.

Well, first of all, Tony, I'm not a
medical doctor. I'm a musician.

- You mean like songs?
- Yes.

I'm about to embark on a concert tour, the
majority of which will be down South.

- Atlantic city?
- No.

The deep south. First we're starting in the
Midwest, but then we're taking a hard left.

Kentucky, North Carolina, Tennessee,
and on down through the Delta.

Do you foresee any issues in working
for a black man?

No!

No no. Just the other
day me and the wife had

a couple of colored
guys over at the house.

For drinks.

Hmm. I see, you're married.

Yeah. Two kids.

I am not sure this is the proper
job for a married man.

Why, we bringing broads?

My point is, you'll be
gone for eight straight

weeks, no breaks, right
up until Christmas.

You're quite sure you can leave
your family for that long?

Depends on what you're paying.

A hundred dollars a week,
plus room and board.

But let me be crystal clear... I'm
not just hiring a chauffeur.

I need someone who can handle my itinerary.
Be a personal assistant. I need a valet.

I need someone who can launder
my clothes, shine my shoes...

Good luck, Doc.

Tony.

I had my record label ask around
town to find me the right man.

Your name came up more than once.

You've impressed several people with
your... innate ability to handle trouble.

And that is why I called and
inquired about your availability.

OK, here is the deal. I got no
problem being on a road with you.

But I ain't no butler.

I ain't ironing no shirts, and I'm
not polishing nobody's shoes.

You need someone to get you from point
A to point B? You need someone to make

sure there's no problems along the way...
And believe me you in the deep South

there's gonna be problems.

So if you want me, it's a
buck and a quarter a week.

Or go hire the little
Chink that just

pranced out of here,
see how far you get.

Well, Mr. Vallelonga.

Thank you for stopping by.

Hey Bobby.

Give me a Rheingold.

Ice cold.

Mr Tony.

Augie asking about you.

- Come on, I'm dying of thirst over here!
- Shut up. I'm talking.

- When?
- Now.

He in his box.

Tony Lip.

What the hell happened at
the Copa?

I heard you split a guy's
face open.

That guy you hit. Mickey Charon.

Charlie the Hand's crew.

Guess he shoulda known better.

Hand asked me to look into it.

I spoke to Podell.
Whole thing was a...

over a piece of ass, right?

Yeah.

Beef like that should never happen
inside the club. They were out of line.

So we squashed it.

You looking to earn a
little extra scharole?

I can keep you busy
while the Copa's down.

What I gotta do?

Things...

Appreciate it, but I'm gonna spend
some time with the family.

Don't be stupid. You make
yourself a few extra bucks, buy

something nice for that pretty
little your wife of yours.

Nah, I'm good. I'm
flushed right now.

Here's fifty. Pay me sixty by
New Year, you get it back.

Hey Lip. Everything OK?

What? You got beak trouble Charlie?

Mind your business.

So come on. Dying to hear what
happened with the doctor interview?

He ain't a real doctor, he's a
piano player.

But I don't understand, why'd
they say that he was a doctor?

I don't know. I think he's like a
doctor of piano-playing or something.

You can be that?

I guess. He lives on
top of Carnegie Hall.

You shoulda seen this place, Dee.
It was filled

with statues and all
kinds of fancy crap.

And he was sitting on top
of a friggin' throne all

dressed up like the king
of the jungle bunnies.

He's colored?

- Then you wouldn't last a week with him.
- For right money, I would.

Yeah.

Oh.

Look. Uh...

Really?

OK. OK. Hold on a sec.

It's Dr Shirley.

The Piano guy, he
wants to talk to you.

- Me?
- Yeah.

What? No!

Come here. Take it.

Just talk.

Hello.

Good morning, Doctor,
it's nice to talk to you.

Yes, that is a long time...

It is.

Yes. I'm sure.

Thank you for calling...
Bye now.

What did he say?

He wanted to know if I'd
be okay with him taking

my husband away from his
family for two months.

He said he'd pay you
what you asked for.

- Hey!
- Uh huh?

It's good money.

We need it.

I can't be eatin' twenty six
hot dogs every day.

I know.

I told him it was okay
for you to go.

Alright. Hey look. Here's
the first half of your pay.

You're gonna get the rest
when the tour's over.

- I gotta get paid every week.
- Sorry,

that's not how the
record company does it.

We gotta have some guarantee
you're gonna finish the job.

Why wouldn't I finish the job?
I took it, didn't I?

Well, then we got nothing to worry about.

Here's the deal, Mr. Vallelonga.

OK! It's your job to get
Don to all his tour

dates on time. Now if
he misses any shows,

- you're not getting your back-end.
- He's not gonna miss any show.

Good. Oh, you're gonna need this.

Now this is the book I was
telling you about. Sometimes you

guys are staying in the same
hotel, sometimes you're not.

- Oh yeah, I do...
- Yeah, don't let me down. Let's go.

- Is this the new one?
- Yeah. The record company rented it.

- Nice huh.
- Beautiful.

So what my sister have to say about
you being gone for three weeks?

Eight weeks.

Ten-to-one, you slap this moolie
out, you come home in under a month.

- Hi boys.
- Say goodbye to your father.

Frankie, Nicky, come here.

- Hi, will you be good boys?
- Uh huh.

- Listen to your mother?
- Uh huh.

Alright, give me a kiss.
I'm counting on you on this.

- Don't go too far.
- We won't.

- Did you go to the A-A-A for the maps?
- Yes, no. I mean

the record company gave me maps and
the itinerary and this thing.

The Negro Motorist Green-Book?

Yeah it lists all places coloreds can
stay down south. Like, you know,

traveling while black.

Traveling while black?

Yeah. If you're black and you
gotta travel for some reason.

They had a special book for that?

I guess.

Did you pack the iron?

- I ain't lugging no iron, Dee.
- How're you gonna press your pants?

I'll put 'em under the mattress.

I want you to write me a letter

- every chance you get.
- I can't write letters.

- Yes, you can.
- I can't write.

- Take you five minutes. Promise me.
- It's embarrassing.

They ain't gonna be no good.

It's a lot cheaper than calling
long distance, Tony.

Promise me you're gonna write.

I promise.

Here... Put this in the bank today.

It's half my pay.

Oh, here is a couple of
sandwiches for you and Dr. Shirley.

Thanks.

- Be careful.
- I will.

- I love you.
- I love you too, baby.

You better be home for Christmas or
don't come home at all!

I got it pop. I got it.

Hey! I'm Tony.

The driver.
Bum a smoke?

Thanks.

So, you're with the band?

Oleg. Cello.

George. Bass.

And we're not a band,
we're a trio.

Oh, a trio?

Right.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Thank you, Amit.

Have a wonderful trip, Sir.

Tony, the first thing I'd like you
to do, when we arrive in the city,

is check the piano where I'm playing, make
sure it's a Steinway as per my contract.

And can you see to it that there is
a bottle of Cutty Sark in my room

every night.

Every night?

Well if you ever need
any help with that...

I won't.

Ten-and-two on the
wheel, please.

Hey Doc.

I noticed on the itinerary thing,

last show's on the 23rd December.

- Right?
- Birmingham, yes. It's a Christmas show.

So, any way we could maybe
hit the road early next

morning so we could be home
in time for Christmas Eve?

We'll see.

Appreciate it.

Could you put out the cigarette please?

Why?

I can't breath back here.

What are you talking about? Smoke's going
into my lungs. I'm doing all the work here.

Thank you.

What are you looking at?

- You speak German, huh?
- That was Russian.

Yeah, I was stationed in Germany in
the army.

I can pick up a little bit of
what you're saying there.

Watch out for them Krauts.

They're all snakes.

Kennedy shoulda bombed 'em
when he had the chance.

Plus now them Cuban bastards.

Ain't they supposed
to be following us?

They have the itinerary. As
long as they get to the show

on time, I am not worried about
it and neither should you.

I ain't worried about nothing.

Fact, when you see me worried, you'll know.

- You'll know if I'm worried.
- Tony. How about some quite time?

Sure.

It's amazing you said that.

How about some quite time?

Dolores, my wife, she
used to say that all

time, well not all the
time, but you know...

She says it when I come
off from work some time,

you know, she's been with
the kids all that day.

And she would say, Tony...
How about some quite time?

Exactly like how you said it.

It means... amazing.

How was that?

Salty.

Have you ever considered
becoming a food critic?

No... Not really.

Why? Is there money in it?

I'm just saying, you have a marvelous
way with words when describing food.

SALTY!

So vivid. One can
almost taste it.

I'm saying it's salty.

And salt's cheating.

Any cook can make things salty.
But to make it taste

good without the salt, with
just the other flavors

that's the trick.

We should really get going soon if we
expect to get to Pittsburgh by dinner.

When I was in the army

I knew a guy from Pittsburgh

except he called it Tits-burgh

he said
all the women there have huge tits.

That's absurd.

Why would women in Pittsburgh have larger
breasts than, say, women in New York?

Guess we'll find out, huh?

You know, when you
first hired me

my wife went out bought one of your
records, one about the orphans.

Orphans?

Yeah. Cover had a bunch of kids
sitting around a campfire?

Orpheus.

Yeah.

Orpheus in the Underworld.
It's based on a French Opera.

And those weren't
children on the cover.

Those were demon in the bowels of hell.

No shit. Must have
been naughty kids.

- What are you doing?
- I gotta take a leak. Doc.

- Here? Now?
- You want me to piss my pants?

Oh hey Doc, good afternoon.

Take this for any
incidentals we may need.

If you want to buy something, you don't
have to ask, just keep the receipt please.

When it runs low let me know.

Oh, thanks.

One more thing.

We will be attending many events
before and after the concerts

interacting with some of the wealthiest and
most highly-educated people in the country.

It is my feeling
that your diction

however charming it may be in the
tri-state area, could use some

finessing.

You mean diction,
like in what way?

Like in the only way the word is ever used.

Okay.

Your intonation, inflection,
your choice of words.

I got my own problems,
now I gotta worry about

what people think
about the way I talk?

There are simple techniques I can teach you
that are quite effective. I can help you.

I don't need no goddamn help.

People don't like the way I talk,
they can go take a shit.

- The profanity is another issue.
- A fanabla, why you breaking my balls?

Because you can do better. Mr Vallelonga.

Which brings me
to one more point

as the guest of honor, I will
be introduced when entering

these intimate events. You
will be introduced as well.

In my humble opinion

Vallelonga may be difficult to
pronounce.

So, I was thinking...

Valle would be more appropriate.
Tony Valle.

Short and sweet.

Nah!

If they got a problem with
Vallelonga, they can call me Tony Lip.

These are genteel people. Tony Lip might
be a little...

worldly for them.

Well, then it's Tony Vallelonga.

All these high-class people, so much
smarter than me, with their intelligence

and speaking abilities, you're telling
me they can't pronounce my name?

They don't like it, they can shove it
up their ass, I'll just wait outside.

That sound compromised.

Ladies and gentlemen,
tonight we are

privileged to present a
great American artist.

He gave his first public
performance at the age of three.

At age eighteen, at Arthur
Fiedler's invitation, our

guest made his concert
debut with the Boston Pops.

He holds Doctorates in Psychology,
in Music, and in the Liturgical Arts

and he had performed at the White House
twice in the past fourteen months.

He is a true virtuoso.

Virtuoso... that's Italian.

Means he's really good.

So Ladies and gentleman, please
welcome The Don Shirley Trio!

Hey, it's your dice, I'm just
having a lucky night.

Tony.

Boss man's calling.

He ain't my boss. I work
for the record company.

I work for the record company too.

Come on man! Give us a
chance to win back our loot!

I'm sorry, fellas, duty calls!

Duty calls?

Look man, my duty is
getting my money back.

I've been looking for you.

Yeah sorry. The guys were
having a little game.

Next time you need extra
money, you just ask me.

More fun winning it.

Then what if you lost?

Craps and cards, I don't lose, Doc.

I don't lose.

So stooping down in the gravel pitching
dice for pocket change makes you a winner?

What are you giving me shit for?
Everybody was doing it.

They didn't have a choice
whether to be inside or out.

You did.

And wipe off your knees,
you have dirt on them.

Dear Dolores... How are you?
I am fine...

I'm eating real
good, hamburgers mostly

so don't worry about me not
eating good.

I saw Dr. Shirley
play the piano. Tonight.

He doesn't play like a colored guy.
He plays like Liberace but better.

He's like a genius I think.

When I look at him in the
rear-view mirror, I can

tell he's always thinking
about stuff in his head.

I guess that's what geniuses do.

But it don't look
fun to be that smart.

I miss you very very much.

- Who is this?
- Who?

On the radio?

Lil' Richard.

Really? That's Little Richard?

Yeah. Think you could
play something like this, Doc?

I don't know. Sounds
very complicated.

Ain't that right.

So where did this “Tony
the Lip” moniker come from?

It's not Tony the Lip.

It's Tony Lip.
One word.

I got it when I was a kid.
Because my friends

said I was the best bullshit
artist in the Bronx.

- Why are you smiling?
- What do you mean?

It doesn't bother you
that your friends, the

people closest to you,
consider you a liar?

Who said liar?
I said bullshit artist.

- Then what's the difference?
- Cause I don't lie. Ever.

I'm just good at talking people into, you
know, doing things they don't wanna do.

By bulletin 'em.

And you're proud of that?

Well it got me this job.

Wait a minute. You're full of shit!
You never heard of Chubby Checker?

Of course I've heard of him,
I just never heard his music before.

But I like this. This is nice.

He's got a silky voice...
very smooth.

This is what everybody
is dancing to now.

Eyes on the road Tony.

You know this song?

- I don't think so. No.
- How could you not know this music?

Aretha Frank.

Chubby Checker, Lil' Richard, Sam
Cooke.

Come on Doc, these
are your people!

- You want anything? I'm gonna pack smoke.
- No thank you.

Nice turn Mike, what he makes it up?

Snatch an apple Doc.

Before we pull out Tony,
we need to have a talk.

- Yeah?
- Oleg told me what you did.

What I do?

You stole a jade
stone from the store.

- No I didn't.
- He watched you do it.

I didn't steal no stone.

You picked it up and you
put it in your pocket.

I picked up a rock up off the ground.
I didn't steal from the box.

Now why would you
pick up a rock off the ground?

I don't know.

'Cause that ain't stealing.
Just a regular rock.

And why would you
want a regular rock?

To have.

- For luck maybe.
- A lucky rock.

- Yeah.
- Let me see it.

Take it back and pay for it.

I told you that Kraut was a sneak. Rats
me out for something I didn't even do.

Pay for the stone, Tony,
you'll feel better.

I feel fine.

And I ain't paying for no
regular rock I found in the dirt.

Do not drive, Mr. Vallelonga.

Put it back.

- You feel better?
- No.

If you'd like, Tony, I would happily
buy you that stone.

Don't bother. You took
all the fun out of it.

Excuse me, Sir.

- I'm with the band.
- You're all set up.

- This isn't the piano, right?
- That's it.

It ain't a Steinway.

So what?

Dr. Shirley only plays on Steinway-brand
pianos. It's in his written contract.

- Who's Dr. Shirley?
- Dr. Shirley...

the Don Shirley Trio?

They're playing tonight.

- Does it really matter?
- Yeah, it does, to this contract.

Come on man, these coons can play on
anything you put in front of them.

But it's a piece of shit.

And there is garbage in there.

- So, take it out.
- What'd you say?

You heard me.

Hey, you got 2-3 hours.
Just get a clean Steinway in here.

- There ain't no Steinway on campus.
- Not my problem.

I bet there is not two Steinway
in the whole state of Indiana.

I guess you better
move your ass then.

Who do you think you're
talking to, grease ball?

Dear Dolores... This morning I had
steak and eggs. For breakfast.

The band has been playing at very
ritzy joints.

Dr. Shirley and I are getting
along pretty good, but sometimes

I think he gets sad and
that's why he drinks too much.

I never knew how very beautiful this
country was. Now that I'm seeing it I know.

You wouldn't believe how beautiful nature
is, it is as beautiful as they say.

And the traffic out here in the country
is nothing, which is fine by me.

“Right now I'm eating
spaghetti and meatballs in a

diner that tastes like
ketchup on Chinese noodles.

“We are heading down south now...
I will write you

another letter when we get down south.
I love you.

- Your husband Tony. P.S.
- Kiss the kids for me.

You got any family, Doc?

- Not really.
- Not really?

Either you do or you don't.

It's a long story, Tony.

What, we're in a hurry now?

Let's hear it.

I have a brother somewhere.

We used to get together
once in a while... but it

got more and more
difficult to stay in touch.

Curse of being a musician I guess.

Always on the road

like a carnival worker.

Or a criminal.

Took quite a toll on my marriage as
well.

- You're married?
- Was.

June, good person.

Terrible grammar,
but a kind soul.

- You'll quite like her.
- June?

Like month?

Unfortunately, I couldn't do a
husband act and a concert pianist act.

Couldn't seem to manage both worlds.

Kentucky Fried Chicken.

In Kentucky! When's
that ever gonna happen?!

- Hey, you want some?
- I'm fine. Thank you Tony.

I think this is the best Kentucky
Fried Chicken I ever had.

But I guess it's fresher
down here, right?

I don't think I've ever met
anyone with your appetite.

No, I bought the bucket
so you could have some.

I've never had fried
chicken in my life.

Who you bulletin? You people love the fried
chicken, the grits, the colored greens

I love it, too.

The negro cooks used to make
it all time when I was in the army.

You have a very narrow
assessment of me, Tony.

Yeah right? I'm good.

No, you're not good, you're bad.

I'm saying, just because other Negros
enjoy certain types of music, it

doesn't mean I have to. Nor do we
all have to eat the same kind food.

Wait a minute. If you said all guineas
like pizza and spaghetti and meatballs

- I'm not gonna get insulted.
- Well, you're missing the point.

For you to make the
assumption that every Negro...

- Hey, you want some or not?
- No.

Here. Come on.

- Tell me that don't smell good?
- It smells okay

I prefer not to
get grease on my blanket.

Ooh, I'm gonna get grease on my blankie.
Come on, have a piece.

It ain't gonna kill ya.
Come on. Take it easy.

- No.
- Take it.

- I'm gonna throw it in the back.
- Don't you dare.

- Then you better take it.
- How? Do you have plates? Or utensils?

Bah fongool! Eat it
with your hands,

- that's how you're supposed to.
- I can't do that.

Eat it. Come on. Take it. I gotta drive.
Ten and two on the wheels.

Take it. Take it. Come on.

There you go.

- I can't do this Tony.
- Eat the goddamn thing.

Jesus.

What, no good?

Just seems...

so unsanitary.

Who gives a shit?

Just relax and enjoy it.

My father used to say,

whatever you do, do
it a hundred percent.

When you work, work,
when you laugh, laugh,

when you eat, eat like
it's your last meal.

You want another piece?
Here, have a breast.

Delicious.

Take it. There you go.

What do we do about the bones?

We do this.

This is what we do.

There you go.

What's the big deal with that?
Squirrels will eat it anyway.

This can't be right.

Says right here.

Cozy as your own home.

Place looks like my ass.

This is the place.

Square one please.

- Just this one?
- Thank you.

Hey... Uh...

If you need anything, I'll be right
up the street at the Easton Inn.

Thank you Tony.

- Hey Floyd, we ready?
- Tulley, I can't play, my problem.

Hey, fancy-pants, you wanna play?

- I beg your pardon.
- Come on brother, we short in men.

I... I'd rather not.

What, you too high and mighty?

He's just afraid of getting
that butler uniform all that dusty!

I'm just...

I'm on my way out
to meet a friend.

Yeah, thanks for nothing?

- Floyd, come on man.
- Shut your ass up man, leave me alone.

Vacation without aggravation.

Delightful dinners for particular people.

- Yeah?
- Get up! It's George. Get up.

Tony come on. Hurry up!

Dr. Shirley's in trouble.

I went out for a drink,
I walk into this bar,

and Dr Shirley's in there
getting bounced around!

I didn't want to leave him,
but I didn't know what to do!

Who let him out of his cage? And
they put that little tie on him too?

Who you are dressed out?

Get your hands off him.

What in the good goddamn
we got here, fellas?

Hand him over, we walk
out, won't be a problem.

I just wanted a drink Tony.

Hey, I told you, we'll
leave. Not a big deal.

Come on.

He ain't going nowhere, we need a
Brillo pad to wash them dishes with.

Listen assholes, do yourself
a favor and let him go.

Now!

Say it nice.

I just said it nice.

This boy's gonna get
what he's got coming to him.

And you... you
ain't got no say!

Maybe.

But, whatever happens
here, I'm gonna put a

bullet right in the middle
of your thick skull.

He ain't got no gun, Ray.

He's fulla shit.

What if he ain't?

Well, I sure ain't.

And I ain't about to let this
come to pass in my place.

Let the spook go. Let him go.

Come on.

Get him outta here.

I want these Yankees
off from my property.

- Go home.
- Come on George, go, go.

Go home.

You out of your mind?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to put you in that position.

Wait, wait, wait!

You wanna throw up again?

I'm OK.

Hones to God Doc,
I don't understand you.

You could have drunk here.
You got a whole bottle.

- I just needed some air.
- Air?

Do you know where you are?

Does the geography
really matter?

- What?
- If I was in a bar...

in your neighborhood, would...

the conversation be any different?

From now on you don't go nowhere
without me.

Nowhere!

- Got it?
- I understand.

- Where is your room?
- Tony.

What?

Do you really have a gun?

'Course not.

Doc, where's your goddamn room?

- There it is.
- Come on. Over there?

Let me get you to bed Doc. You got
a big show tomorrow night. C'mon.

Louisville. Thank you for
your warm hospitality!

Thank you.

- Don't be lazy Tony, enunciate.
- I ain't.

- Betty bought a bit of better butter.
- Betty bought.

Betty bought... butter...

Who says that?

Butter uh...

you have to start
somewhere Tony.

A singer does vocal exercises, an
athlete warms up, before they rehearse.

Athletes practice,
they don't rehearse.

Ah, shit!

Ladies and gentlemen, our very
special guest from the far north...

Don Shirley!

Accompanying Mr. Shirley,
the members of his trio...

Oleg Malakhov, George
Dyer, and his associate,

Tony Vallla... Valleg... Valle...
Valley... lohnja.

This is my lovely wife Margaret.

If you gentlemen don't mind, I'm going to
steal Donnie away for some introductions.

- What's that?
- Pimiento-cheese sandwich, sir.

Yeah, I'll try that one.

Sorry! Not for me.

Earlier this week, we asked our help
what Mr. Shirley might like for supper.

So the boys in the kitchen whipped up
a special menu in honor of our guest.

Gentlemen.

Home cooked fried chicken.

There you go. Bring them in.
Serve it up hot.

Thank you.

We return after a brief intermission.

- Excuse me, Don. Lovely work in there.
- Why! Thank you!

Are you looking for the commode?
Here, let me help you.

Right out there 'fore that pine.

I'd prefer not to use that.

Well, don't be silly, Don. It
looks a lot worse from the outside.

And I'd suppose you'd
know from experience.

What? Never had any complains.

Well, I could return to my motel
and use the facilities there.

But... that would take
at least a half an hour.

We don't mind waiting.

Why don't I just pull over... You
can piss in the woods?

Animals go in the woods.

But it's gonna be at
least twenty minutes if

I gotta go all the way
back to your motel.

So let's just get there so I
can go back and finish the show.

See, that's the difference
between you and me.

- I'd have zero problem goin' in the woods.
- I'm well aware.

Why you sore at me? I don't
make the rules down here.

No? Then who does?

Oh! you saying just 'cause
I'm white

and they're white? You know, that's a very
prejudice thing you just said there.

A very prejudice thing.

I got more in common with the
hymies at Second Avenue Deli

than I do with these
hillbilly pricks down here.

- Eyes on the road.
- You always say that when

- you don't like what I'm saying.
- Eyes on the road!

I don't get it.

How does he smile and shake
their hands like that?

If they tried to pull
that outhouse shit on me,

I'd piss right on their
living room floor.

Don't do that.

We have many concert dates left.

Yeah... So...?

You realize we are contractually
obliged to perform them?

Of course I do.

You don't play,
we don't get paid.

What's your point?

Ugly circumstances are
going to happen again.

- So control yourself.
- Don't lecture me, you rat.

Dr. Shirley could've
stayed up north getting

rear-end kissed at
Park Avenue parties

for three times money

but he asked for this.

Why?

What on God's green
earth are you doing?

A letter.

Looks more like a
piecemeal ransom note.

May I?

Dear, Dolores...

D-E-A-R, this isn't animal.

I'm meeting all the highly
leading citizens of the town.

People that use big words, all
of them

but you know me, I get by,

I'm a good bullshitter.

Two “t”s in “bullshitter.”

As I'm writing this letter,
I'm eating potato chips

and I'm starting to get thirsty.

I washed my socks and
dried them on the TV.

- I should have brung the iron.
- You know this is pathetic right?

Tell me what you're trying to say.

- You know, how I miss her and shit.
- You didn't say that.

But do it in a manner that no
one else has ever done it before.

And without the profanity.

Something like... Put this down.

- Dear Dolores...
- Oh God no!

D-E-A-R, Dolores.

When-I-think-of-you...

I'm-reminded of-the-beautiful
plains of Iowa.

What planes?

The plains. P-L-A-I-N-S.
Those big fields we saw.

Yeah, those were nice.
PLAINS.

Which what they call
big fields around here.

Tony, no expounding.

- A what?
- Just write what I say.

- I'm good.
- The distance between us

is breaking my spirit...

between us...

My time and experiences without
you are meaningless to me.

Falling in love with you was the
easiest thing I have ever done.

Falling... in love...
with you...

is very fucking romantic.

It was the easiest
thing I have ever done.

Nothing matters to me but you.

And everyday I am alive, I'm aware of this.

I loved you the day I met
you, I love you today...

And I will love you
to rest of my life.

- So can I put the “P.S., kiss the kids”?
- A P.S.?

Yeah, like a the end.

That's like clanging a cowbell at
the end of Shostakovitch's 7th.

Right... So that's good?

It's perfect Tony.

Everybody talks about
Willie Maze, 1954, wasn't

even the greatest catcher
in the polo grounds.

That was Joe, 1936,
2nd game at world

series, final out, 500 feet...

Do you like that Doc?

- That's a handsome suit.
- Sharp.

Guy looks just like you.

He does?

Oh... Size-wise. Yeah!

He's about a forty two.

Why don't you try on that?

What, you gotta wear a
tuxedo on stage every night?

You could mix it up a little back.

Now, see how that looks on you.
We got plenty of time.

I'll be right back.

- How you doing?
- May I help you sir?

Yeah. We wanna try on that
beautiful Grey suit in the window.

- You got it in a 42?
- Of course.

- That's the one.
- Dressing room's in the back, sir.

Thank you. That'll
be just a moment.

Take your time Doc, I'll
check out some ties for you.

Uh, excuse me, you're not
allowed to try that on.

I beg your pardon?

If you would like to purchase it first,
we'll be happy to tailor it to your needs.

I see.

Yeah?

F me.

Hey officer, I got a
call about Dr. Shirley.

Come on.

His friends hate her.

Thank you.

Give the guy a towel,
for Chrissakes?

- You the lawyer?
- No.

Well you should call one.
We're taking your Auntie in.

For what?

Manager caught him
and the other guy...

Can't we get the cuffs off him, let him
put his pants on? We talk about this?

Sure we could. But we ain't.

OK, look, we're out of
here tomorrow morning...

you'll never see us again. There's gotta
be something due to work this out.

What if, uh, you let him go, and I
give you something to thank you?

- You bribing us?
- No. Hell no. A gift.

- A thank you.
- What kind of thank you?

Like... a donation to the police force.
To you guys.

Whatever you want.

You like suits?

I was walking through your nice town today,
and I seen a store that was selling suits.

Primo suits.

What if... as a thank you... a
donation... I buy you each a suit?

You get all dressed up, you take
the wife out for dinner.

I mean... Guys like you, you
work hard, you deserve it.

They were wrong for the way they
treated me, and you rewarded them.

I was hired to get you from one show to the
next. How I do it shouldn't matter to you.

- I just wish you hadn't paid them off.
- I did what I had to do.

You know, if this got out
it would kill your career.

OK. Tony.

I need you to stop it with your phony
altruism and concern for my career.

What the hell does that mean?

You were only thinking
about yourself back there

because you know if I miss a show,
it comes out of your pocket book.

Of course I don't want you to miss
a show, you ungrateful bastard!

You think I'm doing
this for my health?

Tonight I saved your ass, so show
a little appreciation... Maybe?

Besides, I told you never
to go nowhere without me!

I assumed you would want
this to be the exception.

Want me to get some makeup or
something before the show?

No I'm fine.

- You sure? Bruise kindda shrugs.
- I said I'm fine.

Okay.

Tony Lip?

Dominic. The hell you
guys doing here?

Brooklyn sent us down...
take care of a few things.

I am working here.

Sorry Doc, they are some
friends from New York.

Hey, you get Dr Shirley's luggage?
Alright.

Called his room. He'll be
down in a minute.

- Hey Doc.
- Where are you off to?

Just going downstairs.
To have a drink.

Tony...

I think you're doing
a wonderful job.

So...

I would like to formally offer you
the position of my road manager.

With the title...

also comes more responsibility but

that also means a raise in pay.

No. No. No, thanks.

I mean, we agreed on a hundred and
twenty-five a week, plus expenses.

That's our deal. Right?

I ain't goin' nowhere, Doc. I was
just goin' down to tell 'em.

Tony...

I'm sorry about last night.

Don't worry about it.

I been working nightclubs in
the New York city my whole life...

I know it's...

complicated world.

So, where'd you learn
how to play like that?

My mother.

Your mother... Really?

She taught me how to
play in an old spinet.

Soon as I could walk.

Travel around the Florida panhandle...

Put on my little shows
and perishes in halls...

Fortunately a man who
had seen me play

arranged for me to study at the
Leningrad Conservatory of Music.

I was the first Negro
ever accepted there.

So that's where they taught
you all them songs you play?

Actually, I was trained
to play classical music.

Brahms, Franz Liszt,
Beethoven, Chopin...

it's all I ever wanted to play.

But I was persuaded by my record company to
pursue a career in popular music instead.

They insisted that
audiences would never

accept a negro pianist
on the classical stage.

Wanted to turn me into just
another “colored entertainer.”

You know the guy who...

smoking while he's playing, sets a glass of
whiskey on his piano and then he complains

because he's not respected
like Arthur Rubinstein.

You don't see Arthur Rubenstein putting
a glass of whiskey on his piano.

I don't know...

I think if you stuck to that classic
stuff it would've been a big mistake.

A mistake? Performing the music I
trained my entire life to play?

Trained? What are you, a seal?

People love what you do.

Anyone can sound like Beethoven or
Joe Pan or them other guys you said.

But your music, what you do...

Only you can do that.

Thank you Tony.

But... not everyone can play
Chopin...

not like I can.

The trees have shed
their leafy clothing

and their colors have faded
to grays and browns.

I saw a millions of trees all dusted
with snow just like out of a fairy tale.

Oh, he's so expressive.

Gotta admit, Lip's letters...

- They are not bad.
- Oh well! It's in the family.

They say our great,
great, great grandfather

helped Da Vinci with
the Sixteen Chapel.

You mean Michelangelo?

Right.

What is Michelangelo have
to do with writing letters?

- I'm just saying, we're an arty family.
- I would count the hours...

minutes... and seconds...
until you are in my arms.

Love you, Tony.

P.S. KISS THE KIDS.

- John.
- Yeah?

I want a letter.

Yeah, as soon as you make a meal.

Eyes on the road.

Tony.

Alright everybody! Let's
give a finest Louisiana

welcome to Don Shirley and
the Don Shirley Trio!

Your mother's ass... piece of shit.

Hell's this guy doing?

Son of a bitch.

License and papers?

Am I glad to see you.

We had a turn off from main road...
and uh, now we're lost.

- Step out of the car.
- What I do?

Out of the car.

Why you on this road?

I told you, we had to make
a detour and we got lost.

And why you driving him?

He's my boss.

He can't be out here at night.
This is a sundown town.

What's that?

- Get him out of the car. Check his I.D.
- Come on, it's pouring rain sir.

I can just get it right
here through the window.

Get him out of the car!

- Come on.
- Get out now! Get out!

You got ID?

How you say this last name?

Vallelonga.

'Hell kind of name is that?

It's Italian.

Oh, now I see. That's why you
driving him around.

You half a nigger yourself.

Hands in the air, now, now!

Excuse me.

Excuse me, sirs.

I understand why my
associate is being held,

but what exactly am I
being charged with?

You seem like reasonable men.

Perhaps you could let me out so that we
could discuss the situation further?

Just put the apple butter away, boy.
You ain't goin' nowhere no time soon.

- You cannot hold me without cause!
- Well I got cause.

'Cause you let the sun
set on your black ass!

I want to speak to my
lawyer, I want my call!

This is a flagrant
violation of my rights!

You know...

He does have... rights.

Give the negro his goddamn phone call.
You happy?

You know a lawyer? Call him.

As my mother always said, “What
kind of brand new fool are you?!”

Look at them over there.

Take a good look at the officer you hit.
Look at him.

He's over there having a grand
old time, chatting up his pals

enjoying a nice cup of coffee.
And where are you?

In here, with me,
who did nothing.

Yet I'm the one who's
pays the price.

I'm the one who's gonna
miss the Birmingham show.

Hey, I'm losing a lot of money,
too, if you don't play Birmingham.

So that little temper
tantrum... was it worth it?

You don't win with violence,
Tony, you win when you

maintain your dignity.
Dignity always prevails.

And tonight, because
of you, we did not.

I wouldn't touch that mattress Doc.

No sir.

No. No I'm not sir.

Yes, sir, he's right
here, yes sir.

- Yes sir.
- Give me.

Chief Pratt... who's this?
Bull-oney.

Yes sir.

I can hear it now, Governor.

No sir, I'm sorry. But, of course
I recognize your voice.

Sir...

You saying the boy we got
locked up called who?

Oh, and he called you?

No sir, but an officer was
assaulted in the line of...

No, no, I don't want no National Guard
coming down here, neither, sir.

Yes, Governor, immediately.

Good night to you
and the missus.

- Get them out.
- What?!

- Cut 'em goddamn loose.
- That dago-wop hit me!

You keep your goddamn job?
Then you do what I goddamn

tell you to do, when I
goddamn tell you to do it.

Now I'm telling you to
get 'em the goddamn out.

Who the hell did you call?

Bobby Kennedy just saved our asses!
Maddon... How great is that?!

It's not great.

It's not great at
Al, it's humiliating.

'The hell you talking about?
We were screwed, now we ain't.

And I just put the Attorney
General of the United

- States in an incredibly awkward position.
- So what?

That's what the guy gets paid for.
What else he got to do?

That man and his brother are
trying to change this country,

that's what else he's got to do!

Now he thinks I'm
some kind of...

Calling from some backwoods swamp jail,
asking to attenuate assault charges...

who does that?

Garbage, that's who.

You shouldn't have hit him.

I didn't like the way he was treating you,
making you stand out in the rain like that.

Please, you hit him because
of what he called you.

I've had to endure that kind
of talk my entire life,

you should be able to take
it for at least one night.

What, I can't get mad at that stuff
he was saying 'cause I ain't black?

- Christ, I'm blacker than you.
- Excuse me?

You don't know shit
about your own people!

What they eat, how they
talk, how they live.

You don't even know
who Lil' Richard is!

Oh so knowing who Little Richard
is makes you blacker than me?

Oh Tony, I wish you could
hear yourself sometimes

- you wouldn't talk so damn much.
- Bullshit.

I know exactly who I am.

I'm the guy who's lived on the same
neighborhood in the Bronx my entire life,

with my mother, my father, my
brother, and now my wife and kids.

That's it, that's who I am.

I'm the asshole who's gotta hustle every
goddamn day to put food out on table.

You? Mr. Big Shot? You
live on top of a castle

traveling around the world doing
concerts for rich people...

I live on the streets,
you sit on a throne

so yeah, my world is way
more blacker than yours!

Pull over.

- What?
- Pull over.

- I ain't pulling over!
- Stop the car Tony!

What?

What are you doing?!

Doc, what the hell are you doing?

Doc, get back in the car.

Yes, I live in a castle!
Tony. Alone!

And rich white people pay
me to play piano for

them, because it makes
them feel cultured.

But as soon as I
step off that stage

I go right back to being
just another nigger to them.

Because that is
their true culture.

And I suffer that slight alone, because
I'm not accepted by my own people,

because I'm not
like them either!

So if I'm not black enough,
and if I'm not white enough,

and if I'm not man enough,
then tell me Tony, what am I?!

I need some sleep.

A'right.

I'll stop by the next place we see
and I'll sneak you into my room.

No. No. I refuse to stay in an
establishment where I'm not welcome.

Yeah. OK.

Tony, do you have to smoke everywhere?

I didn't know it would bother you.

Should have told me.

All you gotta do, is say the word Doc.

You do realize you'd be home
before that letter arrives?

Yeah, I know.

Just thought of bringing it with me.
Save on the stamps.

A'right, Tony. Give
it here, I'll fix it.

No offense, Doc, but I think
I got the hang of it now.

Dear Dolores. Sometimes
you remind me of a house.

A house with beautiful
lights on it

where everyone happy inside.

Yes, Tony! You go it.

Thanks.

Doc, thanks for helping
me with the letters.

- You're really good at writing them.
- My pleasure Tony.

You know, when you get home, maybe you
should write one to your brother?

He knows where I am if he
ever wants to reconnect.

If... I wouldn't wait.

You know... the world's full of lonely
people afraid to make the first move.

You know Doc, something's been
eating at me this whole trip.

That Tittsburgh was a
major disappointment.

I didn't notice any difference at all.
Did you?

Good night Tony.

- Good Evening. Welcome.
- Welcome. Come on in.

Welcome Mr Shirley.

Graham Kindell, I'm the general manager.
It is a pleasure to meet you.

Thank you, Mr. Kindell. This
is Mr. Tony Vallelonga.

- Nice to meet you, Tony.
- How you doing?

Let's keep the car right here on our guest
of honor spot. Right this way, gentlemen.

- How was your drive up?
- Oh it's wonderful.

Good to hear, good to hear.

As you can imagine our Christmas
show is the biggest show of

the year and we are so happy
to have you here Mr Shirley.

So, if you need anything... anything
t'all... you let me know.

- Oh thank you.
- Now, here we are...

I got about an hour before show time.
Any questions?

Where's the restaurant?

Well, you continue down the hall here,
Tony, to the right, across the lobby.

- Good luck! Break a leg.
- Thank you.

He said we've got an hour.
You must be starving Doc.

Go ahead, I'll meet you there.

May we join you?

Get in.

- Cocktail, gentlemen?
- I'm good.

- 3 shots Vodka.
- Whoa!

Last show. Cold war over.
Time for truce.

- Is Dr Shirley in his dressing room?
- Yeah.

More like a broom closet.

Tell you, I don't know why he
puts up with that shit.

Six years ago, in 1956,

Nat King Cole was invited to perform at the
Municipal Auditorium here in Birmingham.

Mr. Cole was the first negro asked to play
at a white establishment in this city.

As soon as he started playing,
a group of men attacked him

for playing white
people's music.

They pulled him off stage

beat him badly.

Jesus Christ!

You asked once

why Dr. Shirley does this?

I tell you.

Because genius is not enough. It takes
courage to change people's hearts.

Thanks.

Thank you.

- I understand but...
- What's going on?

This gentleman says that I'm
not permitted dine here.

No, you don't understand, he's
playing tonight, he's the main event.

I'm sorry. But it's the
policy of the restaurant.

- Everything all right?
- No, it's not all right.

This guy is saying Dr
Shirley can't eat here.

Well, I apologize, but these are...
longstanding traditions.

Club rules. I'm sure
you understand.

No. I do not understand.

I'm sorry.

Wait a minute, are you
tellin' me the bozos

in his band, and these
people that came here

to see him play, they can eat here, but the
star of the show, spot of honor, he can't.

I'm afraid not.

Well he's gotta eat, I mean
he's gotta have dinner.

I tell you what. Why don't
we bring something to

his dressing room, huh?
John, show him the menu.

No. I'm not eating in
that storage room.

Okay... if you'd prefer, there's a
very popular establishment right

down the road, the Orange Bird,
they'd be happy to feed you.

Doc, come here.

One second just.

C'mon, maybe that place is better anyway.
The dinner rolls here are like rocks.

Let's just go over...
just go and come back.

It's the last show.

Bottom of the knife. Let's
just get it over with

and we can go home and get
away from these pricks.

Ah, there you go, the fish
is wonderful tonight.

Either I eat in this room,
or I'm not performing tonight.

May I have a word with you?

Mr. Villanueva, you have to talk sense to
Mr. Shirley. Please make him understand

we're not insulting him personally, this
is just the way things are done down here.

Yeah, well he's not
from down here.

Just ask him to be reasonable.
I got 400 guests

in there who expect to
be entertained tonight.

And Dr. Shirley expects
to eat tonight.

Why can't you just make an
exception this one time?

Lemme tell you a story.

You ever hear of the Boston
Celtics basketball club?

Yeah, those boys came through here a
couple years ago on a barnstorming tour.

Now, seeing as they were World
Champions of the league and all, we

were tickled to have 'em eat here,
we rolled out the welcome wagon.

So do you know what table their
big coon ate at that night?

- No.
- I don't either.

But it wasn't one of ours.
Now let's cut the bullshit.

Tell me what it's gonna take.

Say one hundred dollars and
you get your boy to play?

You think you can buy me?

With all due respect,
sir, but you wouldn't be

in a job like this if
you couldn't be bought.

Stop! Tony.

It's alright.

I'll play.

If you want me to.

Let's get the fuck outta here.

What do you mean,
let's get outta here?

Where the hell do you
think you're going?

Don, don't do this! Now you
signed a contract.

And I know you're the kind of
man who honors a contract!

You got a show to do, mister!
You turn yourself

around. Right now goddammit!
Right now!

This is why you people don't work
down here, cause you're unreliable.

You hear me? I shipped that goddamn
Steinway in from Atlanta for you.

Tony.

Are you hungry?

Does Betty like butter?

- You a cop?
- Do I look Irish?

- What you want, baby?
- Two Cutty's, neat.

Whatever your specialty
is, we'll take it.

Two orange birds!

I like what you did
back there, Doc.

You stood up for yourself.

It's like your friend the
President says “Ask not

your country what you could do for it,

ask what you do for yourself.”

So, darlin',

what you do, all
dressed up like that?

Nothing particularly important.

Shouldn't judge a man by his clothes.

He's only the greatest piano player
in the world.

That right? You good?

- Don't be shy, Doc. Tell her who you are.
- Don't tell me nothing, show me.

Man...

That's how you break a peak.

Oh, that was a good time, I do
that once a month for free.

- You're unbelievable.
- Hey Tony.

I bet if we leave right
now, we can make it.

- Make what?
- Christmas Eve. In New York city.

Don't ever flash a wad
of cash in a bar.

I knew you had a gun!

It's getting bad Doc.

Yes.

It's a shame we don't have something
to protect us on our journey.

Oh I know, why don't you put your
lucky rock up on the dash, Tony?

C'mon Tony, we need all
the help we can get.

Thank you. I feel safer already.

You're a prick, you know that?

Ah, shit!

Goddamn cops.

- What are you doing out here?
- We're trying to get to New York.

- Is there a problem, Officer?
- Yeah.

I noticed your car was tilting to the left.
Looks like your back tire's flat.

Ah!

Keep it moving, keep it moving.

OK. Be careful gentlemen.

- Merry Christmas!
- Merry Christmas! Thanks officer.

Weather advisory warning
this Christmas Eve, as a

major snowstorm is hitting
the eastern seaboard

with the severest weather
in eastern Pennsylvania,

northern New Jersey and
the five boroughs.

Travelers are advised to stay off
the Jersey Turnpike...

A'right. That's it. We're done. I'm
pulling us into the next motel.

- Keep going as long as you can go Tony.
- I can't keep my eyes open.

I'm getting hypnotized here.

I think my brain's
gonna explode.

Hey... we gave it a shot Doc.

What you gonna do?

Alright, the table is set, ladies and
gentlemen. Don't run in the house.

Tony. Tony, wake up.

- You alright?
- You're home, get inside.

Goodnight.

Wait, wait, come up,
meet my family...?

Merry Christmas Tony.

Merry Christmas!

Look who it is,
Shakespeare's home!

I made it back!

Tony, God bless you!

- You hungry?
- I'm starving.

- Welcome home, Dr. Shirley.
- Thank you, Amit.

I turned down your bed, sir.
Shall I unpack your luggage now?

No, no, please. Go
home to your family.

Thank you sir.

- Merry Christmas Sir.
- Merry Christmas!

Come on. You never kissed me like that.

A'right, relax.

So Tony, you alright? You
seem a little quite.

Yeah, nah, I'm just tired.

Long trip.

You take care of that thing?

- Thanks.
- Yeah, you owe me 75 bucks.

Seventy five? Charlie said sixty.

I'm doing this for free?

Hey, Tony, tell us about the trip.
You're gone 2 months.

Yeah. So how was he, the tootsune?
He get on your nerves?

Don't call him that.

Alright.

Tony, you should have seen the day
last week when little Frankie

climbed upon the TV. I took a
picture of him. He was so cute.

He was so funny up there.

What are you nuts, Dee? With all the tubes
back there, he could've got electrocuted!

- Charlie?
- Hey Lip. Johnny invited me.

- Well, come on in.
- You remember Marie?

Hey Marie!

Charlie, you actually came?
I was kidding?

With the wife too?

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas, hello! What a surprise!

Everybody. Charlie from the pawn shop!

Doc!

Welcome!

- Hey, everybody...
- Stop it, stop it.

This is Dr Donald Shirley.

Merry Christmas.

Well, come on, make some room!
Get the man a plate!

- Hello!
- You must be Dolores.

- Welcome!
- Buon Natale.

Thank you for sharing
your husband with me.

Thank you for helping him
with the letters.

Subtitled by CLARITY.

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