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1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:04,437
This is make or break, folks.
2
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:07,477
Danny Poker's searching Melman's face
3
00:00:07,478 --> 00:00:09,437
for any clue he can find.
4
00:00:09,438 --> 00:00:11,457
He ain't got shit.
5
00:00:11,458 --> 00:00:13,577
Just a pair of threes.
6
00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:15,467
Ghost just gave him the cards again.
7
00:00:15,468 --> 00:00:17,427
- Oh. Mm-hmm.
- There's a ghost on screen?
8
00:00:17,428 --> 00:00:18,457
- Right now?
- Yeah.
9
00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:20,537
- The entire pot.
- All in.
10
00:00:20,538 --> 00:00:23,467
Danny calls the bluff!
How does he Al...
11
00:00:23,468 --> 00:00:24,527
Right there. Right there! Look!
12
00:00:24,528 --> 00:00:26,427
Oh, yeah. Okay, I think I see it.
13
00:00:26,428 --> 00:00:28,167
It's like a silhouette
of, like, an old woman.
14
00:00:28,192 --> 00:00:29,527
No, no, a very large man.
15
00:00:29,528 --> 00:00:31,417
- Could've been a bodybuilder.
- Okay, no, I don't see it.
16
00:00:31,418 --> 00:00:33,577
Oh, my God. Clyde,
do you know what this means?
17
00:00:33,578 --> 00:00:35,567
You can capture a ghost on film,
but nobody can see him.
18
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:38,268
It means somebody else out
there can see ghosts.
19
00:00:38,293 --> 00:00:40,182
It's not just me.
I'm not alone in the world.
20
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,457
Oh, right!
21
00:00:41,979 --> 00:00:44,940
Holy shit, and that person
is Danny Pokertini!
22
00:00:44,965 --> 00:00:46,298
- This guy?
- Holy shit.
23
00:00:46,323 --> 00:00:48,282
- This guy's a genius.
- He seems to be
24
00:00:48,283 --> 00:00:50,142
- fairly intelligent.
- Let me... no, no, no.
25
00:00:50,143 --> 00:00:51,202
You don't even know.
26
00:00:51,203 --> 00:00:52,322
I wanna know everything about this guy.
27
00:00:52,323 --> 00:00:54,172
- Okay.
- Who is he?
28
00:00:54,173 --> 00:00:55,272
- His Insta is...
- Where does he come from?
29
00:00:55,273 --> 00:00:56,273
Right here. Look at this. Look at this!
30
00:00:56,274 --> 00:00:57,117
- Look. Ladies.
- Yeah.
31
00:00:57,118 --> 00:00:58,662
- Titties.
- Yeah.
32
00:00:58,663 --> 00:01:00,752
- Guns, titties.
- Titties.
33
00:01:00,753 --> 00:01:02,732
Boats, titties.
34
00:01:02,733 --> 00:01:04,862
- Drones, titties.
- Titties.
35
00:01:05,353 --> 00:01:07,101
- Look at that double blowjob.
- Holy shit.
36
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,165
- Look at that.
- God.
37
00:01:08,167 --> 00:01:09,648
Titties, titties.
38
00:01:09,648 --> 00:01:11,616
Holy fucking shit!
39
00:01:11,617 --> 00:01:13,666
- His cat is so adorable!
- So goddamn cute.
40
00:01:13,667 --> 00:01:15,501
- Holy shit!
- Okay, I'm in. I love this guy.
41
00:01:15,502 --> 00:01:16,612
What... how do we meet him?
He seems like he's
42
00:01:16,613 --> 00:01:17,662
- a fucking rock star.
- How do we meet him?
43
00:01:17,663 --> 00:01:19,502
Go back to the top.
44
00:01:19,504 --> 00:01:21,503
Last post. Boom!
45
00:01:22,305 --> 00:01:24,030
- [chuckles]
- Club Le Douche.
46
00:01:24,252 --> 00:01:25,582
Tonight, Danny Poker in attendance.
47
00:01:25,584 --> 00:01:28,483
DJ Skillitz putting the
dubsmash in your eardrums.
48
00:01:28,484 --> 00:01:30,241
- Is his dick hanging out?
- No, no, no.
49
00:01:30,266 --> 00:01:32,236
That's just his signature. Zoom in.
50
00:01:35,073 --> 00:01:39,042
That's the smartest
thing I've ever seen.
51
00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:41,701
- The man's a genius.
- A ghost-talking genius.
52
00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:44,829
- Like me.
- Like you.
53
00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:47,720
54
00:01:49,555 --> 00:01:52,563
- Synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
55
00:02:19,009 --> 00:02:19,719
[sniffs] Are we a little bit early?
56
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,739
'Cause I feel like I'm still
smelling lunch specials.
57
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:23,709
Dude, you're trying
to get up in the club
58
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:26,257
on a Tuesday with two guys and no girls?
59
00:02:26,282 --> 00:02:28,162
- Yeah.
- You show up early.
60
00:02:30,223 --> 00:02:32,181
Hello! No, I'm just pretending
61
00:02:32,182 --> 00:02:33,433
to talk to you on the phone
62
00:02:33,433 --> 00:02:36,182
because I don't wanna look
like a crazy person.
63
00:02:36,469 --> 00:02:37,897
Oh, my gosh. That's hysterical.
64
00:02:37,898 --> 00:02:41,911
[guffawing]
65
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:43,791
Okay, so he didn't see me yet.
66
00:02:43,792 --> 00:02:44,951
- Oh, shit.
- I'm gonna have to pretend
67
00:02:44,952 --> 00:02:47,621
that I'm gonna have to
call you back, okay?
68
00:02:47,622 --> 00:02:50,580
Pac! Pac, is that you?
69
00:02:50,581 --> 00:02:51,760
Hey! Oh, my gosh!
70
00:02:51,761 --> 00:02:53,580
- Hey.
- Hi!
71
00:02:53,581 --> 00:02:55,630
- [grunts]
- Hey! Hey.
72
00:02:55,631 --> 00:02:57,800
- How are you? Hey.
- Hey. Hey!
73
00:02:58,855 --> 00:03:00,255
Gosh, I feel like I haven't seen you
74
00:03:00,256 --> 00:03:02,053
since our sweet mistake.
75
00:03:02,053 --> 00:03:03,811
Yeah, well, we only
hung out the one time,
76
00:03:03,812 --> 00:03:05,556
so that would... that would make sense.
77
00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:07,917
Did he tell you about our sweet mistake?
78
00:03:08,171 --> 00:03:09,262
I don't think so.
79
00:03:09,262 --> 00:03:11,341
Did I? No, I...
80
00:03:11,342 --> 00:03:13,321
Then it's just our
little secret, isn't it?
81
00:03:13,322 --> 00:03:15,341
Just you, me,
82
00:03:15,342 --> 00:03:16,663
- the bodies.
- Shut up.
83
00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:17,722
What bodies?
84
00:03:17,723 --> 00:03:18,772
Yeah, I would love to stand here
85
00:03:18,773 --> 00:03:20,489
and talk with you all fucking day,
86
00:03:20,489 --> 00:03:22,536
- but we are running late, so...
- Oh! I'll give you a ride.
87
00:03:22,561 --> 00:03:24,157
I've got the hearse.
It's parked just around the...
88
00:03:24,182 --> 00:03:25,476
No, no, that's cool.
89
00:03:25,501 --> 00:03:27,510
We have transportation plans of our own.
90
00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,164
Well, she might be able
to help us get in the club.
91
00:03:29,189 --> 00:03:31,074
The club! I love the club.
92
00:03:31,249 --> 00:03:32,792
I've got my good bra in the hearse.
93
00:03:32,792 --> 00:03:35,118
- Let's party!
- It's called "Le Douche."
94
00:03:35,143 --> 00:03:36,711
- "Douche"?
- No. You know what? It's fine.
95
00:03:36,712 --> 00:03:38,274
It's... it's... you can't
because you just...
96
00:03:38,299 --> 00:03:40,711
they have a... there's a thing there.
97
00:03:40,712 --> 00:03:42,761
You just... you can't. You just can't.
98
00:03:42,762 --> 00:03:44,721
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry?
99
00:03:44,722 --> 00:03:46,731
Don't... no, don't be sorry. It's fine.
100
00:03:46,732 --> 00:03:48,904
I have... you know what?
I gotta take this call.
101
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:49,841
Hello, friend.
102
00:03:49,842 --> 00:03:51,701
I'll see you guys later.
103
00:03:51,702 --> 00:03:53,751
Yeah, no, it did not go well.
104
00:03:53,752 --> 00:03:55,681
Well, I don't care
if you don't wanna hear it.
105
00:03:55,682 --> 00:03:57,157
What is the point of having
a fake conversation
106
00:03:57,182 --> 00:03:58,771
if I can't tell you whatever I want?
107
00:03:58,772 --> 00:03:59,901
What was going on there?
108
00:03:59,902 --> 00:04:01,851
We, uh...
109
00:04:01,852 --> 00:04:03,721
we may have had sex.
110
00:04:03,722 --> 00:04:06,691
- Nice.
- With four or five dead bodies.
111
00:04:06,692 --> 00:04:08,085
That explains the tension, man.
112
00:04:08,110 --> 00:04:09,799
I'm telling you, she was into you
113
00:04:09,799 --> 00:04:10,938
and we are not even at the club yet.
114
00:04:10,939 --> 00:04:12,808
I've got a good feeling about tonight.
115
00:04:12,809 --> 00:04:13,888
God, I feel filthy.
116
00:04:13,889 --> 00:04:15,868
Ah, you always feel filthy to me.
117
00:04:15,869 --> 00:04:17,929
Maximum bass
118
00:04:21,029 --> 00:04:23,819
Maximum bass
119
00:04:25,426 --> 00:04:26,656
Maximum bass
120
00:04:29,849 --> 00:04:31,818
I fucked that girl last night.
121
00:04:31,819 --> 00:04:32,958
That's rough. Look at them guys.
122
00:04:32,959 --> 00:04:35,858
Guys, wow.
123
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,968
No way. You guys aren't coming in.
124
00:04:38,362 --> 00:04:39,932
What? What do you mean?
We're the first ones here.
125
00:04:39,932 --> 00:04:40,951
Yeah, and you showed up looking like
126
00:04:40,952 --> 00:04:42,734
Tron and fucking Dick Tracy.
127
00:04:42,734 --> 00:04:43,842
- Thank you.
- What do you want me to do?
128
00:04:43,843 --> 00:04:45,872
- Gentlemen, step aside.
- Hang on, I got this.
129
00:04:45,873 --> 00:04:47,772
[clears throat] So,
130
00:04:47,773 --> 00:04:49,892
what's it gonna take, huh? A 10? A 12?
131
00:04:50,153 --> 00:04:51,768
Actually, I need some of
that for drinks, though.
132
00:04:51,793 --> 00:04:53,328
- Uh, is there a minimum?
- Guys,
133
00:04:53,353 --> 00:04:55,312
my boy Skillitz is
performing tonight, okay?
134
00:04:55,313 --> 00:04:56,738
This shit's gonna be packed in
like a high-end butt plug.
135
00:04:56,739 --> 00:04:58,647
- Hey, Devin. Devin!
- You and you
136
00:04:58,648 --> 00:05:00,542
- are not coming in.
- Come on, man!
137
00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:02,948
- DJ Skillitz.
- Yeah, DJ Skillitz...
138
00:05:02,973 --> 00:05:04,280
- You can hear me?
- performing in here tonight.
139
00:05:04,281 --> 00:05:06,031
There's no choads allowed, okay?
140
00:05:06,032 --> 00:05:07,921
Uh-uh. I need to take a piss.
141
00:05:07,922 --> 00:05:09,041
- I'll be right back.
- You should probably
142
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,356
- go hold his dick, right?
- I do have to pee.
143
00:05:11,381 --> 00:05:12,470
When I start thinking
about it, it's like...
144
00:05:12,471 --> 00:05:13,257
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
145
00:05:13,257 --> 00:05:15,565
You're the only asshole
who can hear me. Why?
146
00:05:15,590 --> 00:05:17,569
I'm a medium, not an asshole,
thank you very much.
147
00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:20,608
It's a power that still raises
a lot of questions in me.
148
00:05:20,633 --> 00:05:21,564
And tonight, I'm actually
hoping to meet...
149
00:05:21,565 --> 00:05:22,829
I don't care. As soon
as you started talking,
150
00:05:22,854 --> 00:05:23,863
I realized that I don't care.
151
00:05:23,864 --> 00:05:26,803
Dude-bro, congratulations.
152
00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,733
You get to help out
DJ Skillitz right now.
153
00:05:28,734 --> 00:05:30,783
Yeah, sounds great, except for
I'm a little preoccupied
154
00:05:30,784 --> 00:05:32,833
with trying to figure out how
to get to your show tonight.
155
00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:34,833
The show I won't be performing
at because I'm dead?
156
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,153
- Exactly.
- If that's what you want,
157
00:05:37,178 --> 00:05:39,247
I got VIP passes back at my place.
158
00:05:39,248 --> 00:05:40,577
Yeah! Fuck yeah! Tradesies.
159
00:05:40,578 --> 00:05:42,496
I'm in! Okay, good.
What do I have to do?
160
00:05:42,498 --> 00:05:45,487
I left a slightly embarrassing
mess in my apartment
161
00:05:45,488 --> 00:05:47,030
and I need someone to clean it up
162
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,294
before I don't show up tonight
163
00:05:48,294 --> 00:05:50,343
- and they come looking for me.
- Left your porn out?
164
00:05:50,933 --> 00:05:52,002
Been there, done that. I lived
165
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,480
in a massage parlor for six months,
166
00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,283
had no Wi-Fi. I found
a crate full of magazines
167
00:05:55,308 --> 00:05:56,539
by the Dumpster one time,
168
00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:59,349
brought it inside and whacked
myself into oblivion.
169
00:05:59,373 --> 00:06:00,320
Passed out on...
170
00:06:00,345 --> 00:06:01,809
Please don't tell me this story.
171
00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:02,464
Yeah, you're right.
172
00:06:02,464 --> 00:06:04,483
That's probably more of
a friends and family story.
173
00:06:04,484 --> 00:06:06,513
Clyde, we got a case!
174
00:06:06,514 --> 00:06:08,593
Party
175
00:06:08,594 --> 00:06:10,594
Yeah, we be up in the club
176
00:06:13,454 --> 00:06:15,464
Yeah, we be up in the club
177
00:06:17,524 --> 00:06:19,684
Come on, yeah, oh
178
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:31,563
Hey.
179
00:06:32,345 --> 00:06:34,454
It's, uh, not much of a mess, huh?
180
00:06:34,455 --> 00:06:36,414
I don't beat off in the kitchen.
181
00:06:36,415 --> 00:06:37,846
No, oh, sure. Yeah, obviously.
182
00:06:37,846 --> 00:06:39,775
Neither do I. But you
could if you wanted to.
183
00:06:40,213 --> 00:06:41,362
It's beautiful. Very spacious.
184
00:06:41,363 --> 00:06:43,252
You could lay out on the counter there.
185
00:06:43,253 --> 00:06:45,361
Oh, dude, he's got one of these things?
186
00:06:45,362 --> 00:06:47,635
Yo, this thing, like,
balances itself for you.
187
00:06:47,635 --> 00:06:49,295
- Ask him if I can try it.
- Do we have time to try it?
188
00:06:49,351 --> 00:06:51,290
No. Fucking come on.
189
00:06:51,291 --> 00:06:53,300
No. Fucking come on.
190
00:06:53,301 --> 00:06:56,190
- Hey, we'll do it later.
- Okay.
191
00:06:56,191 --> 00:06:57,330
Holy shit.
192
00:06:57,331 --> 00:06:59,291
Quite the "pornucopia."
193
00:07:00,381 --> 00:07:02,390
"Asian Sluts Quarterly,"
194
00:07:02,391 --> 00:07:03,710
"Persian Carpet."
195
00:07:03,711 --> 00:07:06,335
Oh, fuck! The old "United
States of Apparel" mailer.
196
00:07:06,391 --> 00:07:07,751
Oh, God, that takes me back.
197
00:07:08,414 --> 00:07:10,413
Hey, do we have to throw
these out? Can I keep this?
198
00:07:10,414 --> 00:07:11,582
No, I'm not throwing it out!
199
00:07:11,582 --> 00:07:12,721
It's a collection.
200
00:07:12,722 --> 00:07:14,591
He can look at it here.
201
00:07:14,592 --> 00:07:15,741
You gotta put it down. Put it down.
202
00:07:15,742 --> 00:07:17,611
Okay, so what do you think?
203
00:07:17,612 --> 00:07:19,601
Uh, under the closet, into the bed?
204
00:07:19,602 --> 00:07:21,271
- Where do you want this stuff?
- That all can go
205
00:07:21,296 --> 00:07:23,236
- into the closet.
- Okay.
206
00:07:25,316 --> 00:07:26,591
Oh, shit!
207
00:07:26,592 --> 00:07:28,572
And that can come out of the closet.
208
00:07:33,742 --> 00:07:35,571
What the holy fuck?
209
00:07:35,572 --> 00:07:36,661
See, that's the reaction.
210
00:07:36,662 --> 00:07:37,761
That's the reaction everybody has
211
00:07:37,762 --> 00:07:39,631
- when you die jacking off.
- Wait, this is
212
00:07:39,632 --> 00:07:41,597
a jacking-off accident?
This is a "jaccident"?
213
00:07:41,597 --> 00:07:42,548
Look, it doesn't matter now.
214
00:07:42,548 --> 00:07:43,636
Let's just clean this place up
215
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,492
so this is not how I'm remembered.
216
00:07:45,493 --> 00:07:46,884
And then we can all
go about our business.
217
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:47,953
You do you, I'll do me.
218
00:07:47,954 --> 00:07:50,446
This is a very, very different cleanup
219
00:07:50,446 --> 00:07:51,625
than I was originally sold on.
220
00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:52,734
Do you want those VIP passes?
221
00:07:52,735 --> 00:07:54,774
I mean, yeah, those would be nice.
222
00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:57,776
Then be a good little girl
and do what daddy wants.
223
00:07:57,999 --> 00:07:58,848
Ew.
224
00:07:58,873 --> 00:08:00,000
How much better?
225
00:08:00,278 --> 00:08:01,604
What?
226
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:03,614
How much better than a
normal beat-off? Ask him.
227
00:08:03,615 --> 00:08:04,804
10 times, easy.
228
00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:07,278
I don't know, man.
Let's just get this over with.
229
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,700
No, no, no. Listen.
230
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,235
This guy had everything
231
00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:12,179
and he died with his dick in his hand.
232
00:08:12,204 --> 00:08:13,493
It must feel fucking incredible.
233
00:08:13,494 --> 00:08:15,481
Ask him. You gotta ask him, man.
234
00:08:15,506 --> 00:08:17,515
Think about all the things
we could be missing out on.
235
00:08:17,516 --> 00:08:19,405
- Look at his dick. It's...
- All right, okay!
236
00:08:19,406 --> 00:08:20,515
Clyde, it's 10 times better, okay?
237
00:08:20,516 --> 00:08:22,162
- Would you just help me lift?
- 10 times?!
238
00:08:22,162 --> 00:08:23,457
10 fucking times?
239
00:08:23,457 --> 00:08:25,764
Think about how amazing
a regular jerk-off feels.
240
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:26,875
I don't want to right now.
I'm not in the mood.
241
00:08:26,876 --> 00:08:28,855
And then times it by fucking 10!
242
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,715
- Are you kidding me?
- Good convo, Clyde.
243
00:08:30,716 --> 00:08:31,834
Okay, come here.
244
00:08:31,835 --> 00:08:33,784
Strictly from a time
management perspective,
245
00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:35,704
I could beat off 10 times less
246
00:08:35,705 --> 00:08:37,724
if I was getting 10 times
more out of every session.
247
00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:38,814
Oh, shit!
248
00:08:38,815 --> 00:08:40,874
Oh, shit! Oh, God!
249
00:08:40,875 --> 00:08:42,734
Clyde! [groans]
250
00:08:42,735 --> 00:08:44,674
- Oh, we're touching dicks.
- Oh, shit.
251
00:08:44,675 --> 00:08:45,854
Clyde, help me get his dick off my dick.
252
00:08:45,855 --> 00:08:47,834
- No, roll him off. Roll him off!
- Come on!
253
00:08:47,835 --> 00:08:49,704
Ah, God! Oh, shit.
254
00:08:49,705 --> 00:08:50,864
- Oh. Oh, shit.
- It's debatable
255
00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:52,784
- how worth it this would be.
- [grunts]
256
00:08:52,785 --> 00:08:54,744
[groans, pants]
257
00:08:54,745 --> 00:08:56,794
- Oh, God! I gotta put him down.
- Okay.
258
00:08:56,795 --> 00:08:57,864
Let's get him over to the toilet.
259
00:08:57,865 --> 00:08:59,674
- So gross!
- Put him on the toilet.
260
00:08:59,675 --> 00:09:01,704
- Oh!
- [grunting]
261
00:09:01,705 --> 00:09:02,764
God, he's heavy for a little guy.
262
00:09:02,765 --> 00:09:03,884
- [groans]
- Okay.
263
00:09:03,885 --> 00:09:05,734
- Here we go.
- [whimpers]
264
00:09:05,735 --> 00:09:07,794
We'll get some water. Come on, Clyde.
265
00:09:07,795 --> 00:09:09,884
[panting] Okay. We're cool!
266
00:09:09,885 --> 00:09:12,674
Yo, what the hell is this?
267
00:09:12,675 --> 00:09:14,330
This is as far as we take you, buddy.
268
00:09:14,355 --> 00:09:16,364
Elvis fucking Presley
died on the toilet,
269
00:09:16,365 --> 00:09:18,404
so this... this is how
you wanna be remembered.
270
00:09:18,405 --> 00:09:19,973
You know what I mean?
271
00:09:19,973 --> 00:09:22,334
I guess it is better than
autoerotic asphyxiation.
272
00:09:22,374 --> 00:09:24,383
- Totally.
- Passes are on the counter.
273
00:09:24,384 --> 00:09:27,243
Tell the fans that I love them.
274
00:09:27,244 --> 00:09:30,213
Skillitz!
275
00:09:30,214 --> 00:09:31,363
276
00:09:31,364 --> 00:09:33,383
Ooh, ooh! Ah!
277
00:09:33,384 --> 00:09:36,273
Oh. Wow, was that him leaving?
278
00:09:36,274 --> 00:09:37,373
- Yeah, that was him.
- I felt that.
279
00:09:37,374 --> 00:09:38,870
That was really easy, actually.
280
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,850
You know that feeling when
everything's just going right?
281
00:09:40,851 --> 00:09:42,830
- I do.
- [knocking on door]
282
00:09:42,831 --> 00:09:44,700
- Come on in! It's open!
- No!
283
00:09:44,701 --> 00:09:45,701
What? Shit!
284
00:09:48,891 --> 00:09:50,820
Hey, Skillz.
285
00:09:50,821 --> 00:09:51,920
It's Dilana Frank,
286
00:09:51,921 --> 00:09:54,710
"Tumbling Stone" magazine.
287
00:09:54,711 --> 00:09:55,850
Shit.
288
00:09:55,851 --> 00:09:57,850
- What do we do?
- What else?
289
00:09:57,851 --> 00:09:59,800
Hey... hey, what's up, girl?
290
00:09:59,801 --> 00:10:01,800
- What? What is that?
- It's my Skillitz voice.
291
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:03,740
Do you wanna do the interview here
292
00:10:03,741 --> 00:10:05,850
or go get a bite to eat?
293
00:10:05,851 --> 00:10:07,840
- No.
- No, I'd rather do it in here
294
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:08,920
- in the shower.
- Why?!
295
00:10:08,921 --> 00:10:10,800
'Cause I... 'cause I'm so...
296
00:10:10,801 --> 00:10:11,880
I'm so fucking dirty from dropping beats
297
00:10:11,881 --> 00:10:13,442
in my pants all day.
298
00:10:13,443 --> 00:10:14,472
What the fuck?
299
00:10:14,473 --> 00:10:15,642
Dude, that is negative energy.
300
00:10:15,643 --> 00:10:17,622
You're making this worse.
Don't add pressure.
301
00:10:17,623 --> 00:10:20,482
You mind if I ask who you've
got in there with you?
302
00:10:20,483 --> 00:10:21,652
No doubt. It's my soap bitch.
303
00:10:21,653 --> 00:10:24,313
Got my soap bitch in here.
He delivers me all my soaps.
304
00:10:24,361 --> 00:10:26,170
You know, them dope soaps. Go say hi.
305
00:10:26,171 --> 00:10:27,360
That's not even how he talks.
306
00:10:27,361 --> 00:10:29,260
Trust me. I've had Skillitz
yapping in my ear all day.
307
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:31,230
- I've got this voice down.
- Seriously?
308
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,380
Man, that's negative energy.
You're fucking my shit up.
309
00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,340
- Tell her to go away.
- I just invited her in.
310
00:10:34,341 --> 00:10:37,241
- That'll be fucking weird.
- What the fuck is a soap bitch?
311
00:10:40,542 --> 00:10:42,295
Hey! How are you?
312
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,681
I was just, uh, delivering some soaps.
313
00:10:44,682 --> 00:10:46,611
Soaps?
314
00:10:46,612 --> 00:10:47,721
Right.
315
00:10:47,722 --> 00:10:49,721
Is that what they call it
316
00:10:49,722 --> 00:10:51,771
in the future?
317
00:10:52,697 --> 00:10:54,680
Look, um, I don't give a shit.
318
00:10:54,682 --> 00:10:57,551
I don't put the drug dealer
in the interview, so...
319
00:10:57,552 --> 00:10:59,731
Fire away! Skillitz wants to talk.
320
00:10:59,732 --> 00:11:02,541
All right. You mind if I record?
321
00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:04,621
Do you mind if I remix it later?
322
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,601
Shit. Remix!
323
00:11:06,602 --> 00:11:09,169
Skillitz, Skillitz, Skillitz!
324
00:11:09,194 --> 00:11:11,328
- Panties drop.
- I'm cool if you're cool.
325
00:11:11,353 --> 00:11:13,282
Oh, I'd say I'm pretty fucking cool.
326
00:11:13,283 --> 00:11:15,212
- I'm fucking Skillitz.
- Yes, you are.
327
00:11:15,213 --> 00:11:16,312
You know, I just realized
328
00:11:16,313 --> 00:11:18,132
I forgot to give him
a couple more soaps,
329
00:11:18,133 --> 00:11:21,132
- so if you'll excuse me.
- Yeah.
330
00:11:21,133 --> 00:11:22,332
Hey, tone it down!
331
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:24,212
Why are you in the shower?
332
00:11:24,213 --> 00:11:25,322
'Cause I wanted it to sound authentic.
333
00:11:25,323 --> 00:11:27,172
All right, I'm gonna dive right in.
334
00:11:27,173 --> 00:11:29,302
Uh, I got a couple of softballs here,
335
00:11:29,303 --> 00:11:32,172
but I think we both
know my real questions
336
00:11:32,173 --> 00:11:34,878
are about this feud you
have brewing with DeadR@t.
337
00:11:34,879 --> 00:11:36,906
A lot of people say
it might not be real.
338
00:11:36,907 --> 00:11:38,006
- You sound crazy.
- What?
339
00:11:38,007 --> 00:11:39,936
Act like a real rock star. Play it cool.
340
00:11:39,937 --> 00:11:41,936
- Okay, chill.
- Skillz?
341
00:11:41,937 --> 00:11:44,588
- You there?
- Yeah, girl. Still here.
342
00:11:44,613 --> 00:11:46,942
Can you say that last
part one more again?
343
00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:49,317
Well, I was just saying
it doesn't change the fact
344
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:52,012
that DeadR@t called
you a rip-off artist.
345
00:11:52,037 --> 00:11:54,056
- DeadR@t said that about me?
- Yep.
346
00:11:54,057 --> 00:11:56,946
The rodent with the
fucking X'd-out eyes?
347
00:11:56,947 --> 00:11:59,996
Is the sting from that
insult still fresh?
348
00:11:59,997 --> 00:12:02,026
I fucking hate DeadR@t.
349
00:12:02,299 --> 00:12:03,414
That one song, I guess,
350
00:12:03,415 --> 00:12:04,494
was stuck in my head for six months
351
00:12:04,495 --> 00:12:06,257
when I worked at the massage parlor.
352
00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:07,716
Now he's talking shit about me?
353
00:12:07,741 --> 00:12:08,870
You worked at a massage parlor?
354
00:12:08,871 --> 00:12:12,198
DeadR@t is what Jude Law
listens to on his period.
355
00:12:12,473 --> 00:12:14,523
You can quote me on that one.
356
00:12:14,871 --> 00:12:16,750
Yo, can I tweet that?
357
00:12:16,751 --> 00:12:20,740
Absolutely. He's a pussy!
358
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:23,666
- [thuds]
- Oh, he slipped!
359
00:12:23,667 --> 00:12:26,127
But, uh... but I'm sure he'll be fine.
360
00:12:26,152 --> 00:12:27,764
He just, uh... he's just
a little out of it.
361
00:12:27,765 --> 00:12:28,915
We should probably reschedule now.
362
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:31,775
Oh, my God! Are you okay?
363
00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:32,756
Skill?
364
00:12:33,846 --> 00:12:35,855
- One word. One word.
- Skill?
365
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,421
Skillitz for life!
366
00:12:37,421 --> 00:12:39,350
Oh, look at that. He
just passed out again.
367
00:12:39,351 --> 00:12:41,765
Uh, we'll definitely
have to reschedule.
368
00:12:41,766 --> 00:12:43,336
He's fine, though. This
happens sometimes.
369
00:12:43,361 --> 00:12:44,769
Oh, my God!
370
00:12:44,770 --> 00:12:45,859
Is there anything I can do?
371
00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:47,768
No, everything is fine.
Thank you so much.
372
00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:49,745
I will be in touch to reschedule.
373
00:12:49,746 --> 00:12:50,925
Okay, yeah, that sounds great.
Thanks very much, now.
374
00:12:50,950 --> 00:12:53,829
And I'm assuming these passes
on the counter are mine?
375
00:12:53,830 --> 00:12:55,930
Yep, that sounds great. Thank you.
376
00:12:56,740 --> 00:12:58,749
All right. Feel better.
377
00:12:58,750 --> 00:12:59,929
- Fucking weird.
- What, uh...
378
00:12:59,930 --> 00:13:01,779
what passes are on the counter?
379
00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:03,779
Huh? Oh, fuck me.
380
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:05,800
Shit!
381
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:12,829
Shit.
382
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:14,889
Yep, we gave her our passes.
383
00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:16,770
Well, shit. What are we gonna do?
384
00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:22,889
385
00:13:22,890 --> 00:13:24,800
No. No.
386
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,765
- No. No!
- Yes.
387
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,715
388
00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:31,400
Holy shit, I think this is working.
389
00:13:31,425 --> 00:13:33,155
"Weekend at Ernie's," baby. Foolproof.
390
00:13:33,156 --> 00:13:35,184
Yeah! Except I think
you mean "Bernie's."
391
00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:37,103
No, you're thinking of "Sesame Street."
392
00:13:37,104 --> 00:13:39,107
- No, that's Ernie.
- Mm-mm. Bernie and Ernie.
393
00:13:39,777 --> 00:13:41,344
I think you got your wires
crossed a little bit, bud...
394
00:13:41,369 --> 00:13:43,448
- Oh, shit. Oh, shit!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pac!
395
00:13:43,449 --> 00:13:45,029
Oh. Cop.
396
00:13:45,030 --> 00:13:46,129
- Where?
- There's a cop coming over here.
397
00:13:46,131 --> 00:13:48,030
- He's walking towards us.
- Oh, shit!
398
00:13:48,031 --> 00:13:49,150
Okay, quick. If I yell
Mayday, just drop the body
399
00:13:49,151 --> 00:13:50,960
- and run, okay?
- No, no, no! I'm not fast.
400
00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:52,060
Well, then be wily.
401
00:13:52,061 --> 00:13:53,080
I don't even know what that word is!
402
00:13:53,081 --> 00:13:54,755
[horn honks]
403
00:13:54,756 --> 00:13:56,745
Hey! Is that DJ Skillitz?
404
00:13:57,601 --> 00:14:00,292
- [screams]
- Oh, my fucking God!
405
00:14:00,293 --> 00:14:02,152
Hey, you guys wanna party with us?
406
00:14:02,153 --> 00:14:04,517
407
00:14:04,518 --> 00:14:05,627
Yes, we do. Yeah.
408
00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:06,667
Wanna get that door?
409
00:14:06,668 --> 00:14:09,673
410
00:14:10,772 --> 00:14:12,681
[gasps] Let's get a picture, you guys!
411
00:14:12,682 --> 00:14:13,741
- [gasps]
- Ready?
412
00:14:13,742 --> 00:14:16,781
- Girls' night!
- [laughs]
413
00:14:16,806 --> 00:14:18,651
Ugh, God, I look so bad.
414
00:14:18,651 --> 00:14:21,613
You always look so sexy. Okay, one more.
415
00:14:21,638 --> 00:14:22,917
Is this real champagne?
416
00:14:22,917 --> 00:14:24,806
Pac, this is real champagne!
417
00:14:24,807 --> 00:14:25,976
- What's fake champagne?
- Oh, man.
418
00:14:25,977 --> 00:14:27,786
- [horn honks]
- Oh, shit! Oh!
419
00:14:27,787 --> 00:14:28,916
[tires screech]
420
00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:30,846
Oh, my God!
421
00:14:30,847 --> 00:14:32,817
You're so forward. [gasps]
422
00:14:35,648 --> 00:14:38,377
Mm, you taste like a dead fucking dog.
423
00:14:38,402 --> 00:14:40,381
- I love it.
- Sabrina, you should totally
424
00:14:40,382 --> 00:14:42,371
- take him to the hot tub.
- [screams]
425
00:14:42,372 --> 00:14:44,311
- Let's do it!
- That's a bad idea.
426
00:14:44,312 --> 00:14:46,327
I think... Sabrina, that's a bad idea.
427
00:14:46,328 --> 00:14:47,724
Okay, if you're gonna
do it, just be careful!
428
00:14:47,724 --> 00:14:50,673
- He's fragile!
- So how do you know Skillitz?
429
00:14:50,674 --> 00:14:52,322
Uh, how do we know him?
430
00:14:52,347 --> 00:14:54,356
Well, we're, uh... we've
always sort of just
431
00:14:54,357 --> 00:14:56,376
- been part of his entourage.
- That's right, yeah.
432
00:14:56,377 --> 00:14:58,523
Sort of like that HBO show "Ballers."
433
00:14:58,524 --> 00:15:00,492
- "Ballers"!
- [laughing]
434
00:15:00,494 --> 00:15:02,514
435
00:15:09,554 --> 00:15:11,544
Okay. Clyde, let's do it.
436
00:15:12,624 --> 00:15:14,609
- Pac! Pac!
- Oh, shit.
437
00:15:14,610 --> 00:15:16,489
- Hi, hi!
- Hi, hi.
438
00:15:16,514 --> 00:15:18,715
- Oh, God, what a surprise.
- Well, not really,
439
00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:19,868
'cause I told you we were
gonna be here, but...
440
00:15:19,869 --> 00:15:21,708
Oh, my gosh! What's up?
Where you coming from?
441
00:15:21,709 --> 00:15:22,848
Who are those girls?
442
00:15:22,849 --> 00:15:24,365
Not that it's any of
your fucking business,
443
00:15:24,390 --> 00:15:26,329
but those girls... very attractive,
444
00:15:26,330 --> 00:15:27,918
very frisky girls... were helping us
445
00:15:27,918 --> 00:15:28,947
transport a very important
friend of ours.
446
00:15:28,948 --> 00:15:30,673
Fuck, they drove off!
447
00:15:30,698 --> 00:15:32,109
Who? Oh!
448
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,060
- I remember who.
- Hey, wait! Wait a sec!
449
00:15:35,898 --> 00:15:37,047
Are you still not there?
450
00:15:37,048 --> 00:15:38,997
I told you I'm not fast enough! [pants]
451
00:15:38,998 --> 00:15:41,077
Wait! Hey!
452
00:15:41,078 --> 00:15:42,967
- Hey, come on!
- I'm trying.
453
00:15:42,968 --> 00:15:44,142
It's... it's actually really slow.
454
00:15:44,143 --> 00:15:46,342
- You're better off running.
- [tires screech]
455
00:15:46,367 --> 00:15:47,281
Whoa!
456
00:15:47,282 --> 00:15:49,232
457
00:15:53,560 --> 00:15:54,261
Rude!
458
00:15:55,296 --> 00:15:56,804
Skillitz shit the hot tub.
459
00:15:56,805 --> 00:15:57,914
We're not cleaning that up!
460
00:15:57,915 --> 00:15:59,884
His drunk ass is gonna
cost us our deposit.
461
00:15:59,885 --> 00:16:02,774
I let him do things my husband
doesn't even get to do
462
00:16:02,775 --> 00:16:03,954
and that's how he treats a lady?
463
00:16:03,955 --> 00:16:05,914
Tell him to grow the fuck up.
464
00:16:05,915 --> 00:16:07,794
Okay, I'll be sure to tell him that.
465
00:16:07,795 --> 00:16:08,854
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
466
00:16:08,855 --> 00:16:10,834
- Enjoy your night!
- What the fuck?
467
00:16:10,835 --> 00:16:12,775
- Why didn't you just run, man?
- I don't know.
468
00:16:13,875 --> 00:16:16,008
Clyde, stop dicking around. Come on.
469
00:16:17,538 --> 00:16:19,309
Okay, just fell out of a limo.
470
00:16:19,834 --> 00:16:20,784
Uh, damage assessment.
471
00:16:21,237 --> 00:16:22,272
Yeah, he smells a bit.
472
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,444
Definitely dumped the bowels,
473
00:16:23,444 --> 00:16:26,273
but, uh, overall I'd say
he looks pretty good.
474
00:16:26,607 --> 00:16:27,473
Missing a finger.
475
00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:29,287
Yeah, I'm not gonna ask
any questions there.
476
00:16:29,312 --> 00:16:31,493
- Looks like Skillitz to me.
- Yeah, right?
477
00:16:31,493 --> 00:16:33,271
- That guy's fucking dead.
- What?
478
00:16:33,272 --> 00:16:34,646
No, no, no, he's just drunk.
479
00:16:34,647 --> 00:16:35,796
- No, yeah, he's just drunk.
- Uh-uh.
480
00:16:36,661 --> 00:16:38,656
I know a dead body when I see one.
481
00:16:38,657 --> 00:16:40,655
It's my job.
482
00:16:40,657 --> 00:16:42,446
- It's also my pleasure.
- Shit.
483
00:16:42,471 --> 00:16:43,097
Yeah, I know it is.
484
00:16:43,097 --> 00:16:45,116
God, Carol.
485
00:16:45,593 --> 00:16:47,632
Hey, what are the odds of you...
486
00:16:47,722 --> 00:16:49,109
Popping in the alley for a quick one?
487
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,627
See how much life he's got left in him?
488
00:16:50,628 --> 00:16:52,397
Or do a little touch-up on his face
489
00:16:52,398 --> 00:16:53,859
to make him look less dead?
490
00:16:53,859 --> 00:16:55,298
Oh, yeah. I've got my
makeup in the hearse.
491
00:16:55,298 --> 00:16:57,277
Okay, get off me. Let's go, Clyde.
492
00:16:57,278 --> 00:17:00,168
493
00:17:21,851 --> 00:17:23,840
- He looks great.
- Yeah.
494
00:17:24,128 --> 00:17:26,237
I hate to say it, but
you're really good at this.
495
00:17:26,238 --> 00:17:29,207
You know, we don't do this enough.
496
00:17:29,208 --> 00:17:31,307
All right, I'm gonna
let you have that one.
497
00:17:31,308 --> 00:17:33,177
- Carol!
- Ooh.
498
00:17:33,178 --> 00:17:34,690
No pictures!
499
00:17:34,691 --> 00:17:36,690
No pictures.
500
00:17:36,691 --> 00:17:37,840
Hey-ya.
501
00:17:37,841 --> 00:17:40,660
What's up, Skillz? How you living?
502
00:17:40,661 --> 00:17:41,781
Oh, he's living large.
503
00:17:43,861 --> 00:17:45,670
She's not with us.
504
00:17:45,671 --> 00:17:46,740
Uh-uh.
505
00:17:46,741 --> 00:17:48,670
Oh. Oh, no, I'm with them.
506
00:17:48,671 --> 00:17:49,820
Pac?
507
00:17:50,875 --> 00:17:51,630
Guys?
508
00:17:51,631 --> 00:17:53,690
Let the Le Douching begin.
509
00:17:53,691 --> 00:17:54,840
Fuck, yeah!
510
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,670
Oh, shit. Oh, my God, is that
Danny Poker right there?
511
00:17:57,671 --> 00:17:59,791
512
00:18:02,651 --> 00:18:04,760
Maximum bass
513
00:18:04,761 --> 00:18:06,630
- Now's our chance.
- No, no, no, we gotta
514
00:18:06,631 --> 00:18:07,730
- ditch the body first.
- Oh, right.
515
00:18:07,731 --> 00:18:10,366
Yo, Skill! Baby, where you been, dawg?
516
00:18:10,391 --> 00:18:12,207
We need you onstage, like, yesterday.
517
00:18:12,207 --> 00:18:13,767
- Come on.
- Yeah. Yo, dawg,
518
00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:15,385
actually, he wanted
to sit down for a sec.
519
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:16,830
We'll get him a chair. Come on.
520
00:18:16,831 --> 00:18:17,949
Yeah, cool, bro.
521
00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:19,749
- Do you have a hoverboard ramp?
- No.
522
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:20,809
What, are you handicapped?
523
00:18:20,810 --> 00:18:22,889
No, I'm hoverboard friendly.
524
00:18:22,890 --> 00:18:25,909
[cheering, applause]
525
00:18:26,521 --> 00:18:29,749
They love you, Skill!
Give 'em a taste, bro!
526
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:30,929
Everyone's looking.
Do something!
527
00:18:30,930 --> 00:18:32,939
Fuck, there's so many fucking knobs.
528
00:18:34,220 --> 00:18:35,240
What are you doing? What are you doing?!
529
00:18:35,265 --> 00:18:36,989
- Pressing buttons.
- You can't just press a button
530
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:38,929
and be Skillitz!
531
00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:40,919
-
Skillitz
- [cheering, applause]
532
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,049
533
00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:44,059
All right.
534
00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:45,910
Oh, shit. What about him?
535
00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:57,050
- [cheering]
- Oh, ho, ho, ho!
536
00:18:59,910 --> 00:19:02,029
537
00:19:02,030 --> 00:19:03,930
Good job, man.
538
00:19:10,090 --> 00:19:11,950
[clears throat]
539
00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:17,039
- Excuse me, Mr. Poker?
- [music stops]
540
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,079
- Excuse me, Danny Pokertini?
- [mic feedback rings]
541
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,889
I said, Mr. Pokertini?
542
00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:23,919
[murmuring]
543
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:25,049
Shit.
544
00:19:25,672 --> 00:19:27,607
- Copy.
- Where are those d-bags at?
545
00:19:27,608 --> 00:19:29,583
Oh, fuck, oh, fuck. He's onto us.
546
00:19:32,537 --> 00:19:35,486
547
00:19:35,487 --> 00:19:36,697
Hey, yo, Skillitz!
548
00:19:39,517 --> 00:19:40,657
[screaming]
549
00:19:45,858 --> 00:19:47,867
Who's a pussy now, bitch?
550
00:19:47,892 --> 00:19:49,991
Tweet that, motherfucker! Whoo!
551
00:19:49,992 --> 00:19:51,791
[screaming]
552
00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:53,881
Uh, Danny! Fuck.
553
00:19:53,882 --> 00:19:56,821
- Was that Deadr@t?
- Deadr@t's a murderer!
554
00:19:56,822 --> 00:19:58,762
He's a stone-cold murderer.
555
00:20:00,932 --> 00:20:02,882
That's all right. We'll
get him next time.
556
00:20:06,419 --> 00:20:08,282
Or we could just return
this to him tomorrow
557
00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:09,574
at his apartment.
558
00:20:10,782 --> 00:20:12,183
- [siren wailing]
- Blackjack, bitch!
559
00:20:12,184 --> 00:20:14,061
- Unh!
- Ah.
560
00:20:14,062 --> 00:20:16,171
[sniffs, snorts] Oh, God!
561
00:20:16,172 --> 00:20:17,202
Cocaine.
562
00:20:19,567 --> 00:20:21,510
Clyde! The Skillitz interview is up
563
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:22,908
on the "Tumbling Stone" website!
564
00:20:22,909 --> 00:20:24,473
They used my quote about Jude Law
565
00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:26,606
and the fucking massage
parlor and everything!
566
00:20:26,631 --> 00:20:27,701
Is... hey, hey.
567
00:20:28,651 --> 00:20:29,831
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
568
00:20:31,628 --> 00:20:33,747
- I was just, uh...
- Huh?
569
00:20:33,981 --> 00:20:35,890
- Changing my clothes.
- Yeah, totally, man.
570
00:20:35,891 --> 00:20:37,030
That's cool. And I love change.
I'm just gonna...
571
00:20:37,055 --> 00:20:39,024
I was gonna, like... I'm gonna...
I'm just gonna...
572
00:20:39,025 --> 00:20:40,984
I'm gonna go jerk...
573
00:20:40,985 --> 00:20:42,924
I'm gonna read the article
and I'm gonna go to bed.
574
00:20:42,925 --> 00:20:44,034
Okay. Cool, yeah.
575
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,781
I was just gonna read an article
and go to bed, too, so...
576
00:20:45,781 --> 00:20:47,760
Yeah, cool, man. Good night.
577
00:20:47,761 --> 00:20:49,741
578
00:20:50,821 --> 00:20:52,751
Maximum bass
579
00:20:56,795 --> 00:21:01,795
- Synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
580
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:06,395
Repair and Synchronization by
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