Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:08,874
(chewing loudly)
2
00:00:10,599 --> 00:00:12,501
Chip please?
3
00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:13,702
(crunching)
4
00:00:13,702 --> 00:00:16,405
Ugh, if this thing can eat,
5
00:00:16,405 --> 00:00:17,907
does that mean it can also...
6
00:00:17,907 --> 00:00:19,308
Shit.
7
00:00:19,308 --> 00:00:21,377
This cannot be right!
8
00:00:21,377 --> 00:00:22,878
- What's wrong?
- Oh, nothing.
9
00:00:22,878 --> 00:00:24,446
I'm just, uh, crunching
10
00:00:24,446 --> 00:00:25,681
some numbers over here
11
00:00:25,681 --> 00:00:27,416
and if my calculations are correct,
12
00:00:27,416 --> 00:00:30,419
it is way worse than we ever imagined.
13
00:00:30,419 --> 00:00:33,055
Sue, I might have to get a job.
14
00:00:34,390 --> 00:00:35,324
Ew!
15
00:00:35,324 --> 00:00:38,460
- Blob! Ah, ahh!
- Sorry!
16
00:00:38,460 --> 00:00:39,762
What... what are you doing, man?
17
00:00:39,762 --> 00:00:41,430
What are you doing? We discussed this!
18
00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:43,465
No shitting in front of
each other's girlfriends.
19
00:00:43,465 --> 00:00:44,667
I thought we were on the same page, buddy.
20
00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:46,435
Go finish up out the window.
21
00:00:46,435 --> 00:00:48,671
God!
22
00:00:48,671 --> 00:00:50,039
Girlfriend?
23
00:00:50,039 --> 00:00:51,807
Well...
24
00:00:51,807 --> 00:00:53,709
I... is it? Are we?
25
00:00:53,709 --> 00:00:55,978
Kevin, I'd love to be your girlfriend.
26
00:00:55,978 --> 00:00:57,346
Really?
27
00:00:57,346 --> 00:00:58,547
Mhm!
28
00:00:58,547 --> 00:00:59,849
All right!
29
00:00:59,849 --> 00:01:00,816
Hey, why don't we do something fun
30
00:01:00,816 --> 00:01:01,951
this weekend?
31
00:01:01,951 --> 00:01:03,686
Yeah, I would love to, Sue,
32
00:01:03,686 --> 00:01:06,789
but I literally can't
afford to do anything.
33
00:01:06,789 --> 00:01:09,058
Mm. How much money do you have?
34
00:01:11,327 --> 00:01:12,962
Ten cents.
35
00:01:12,962 --> 00:01:14,864
Kevin, that's a penny.
36
00:01:14,864 --> 00:01:16,599
Oh, damn it!
37
00:01:16,599 --> 00:01:18,300
I have to redo all this now.
38
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,702
Wait, I have an idea!
39
00:01:19,702 --> 00:01:21,403
40
00:01:21,403 --> 00:01:23,372
You are a god damn genius, Sue.
41
00:01:23,372 --> 00:01:25,474
A real G-D-G. Woohoo!
42
00:01:25,474 --> 00:01:27,409
All right, you keep your eyes out
43
00:01:27,409 --> 00:01:28,577
for the boys in blue,
44
00:01:28,577 --> 00:01:29,845
I'm gonna go grab the cheddar.
45
00:01:29,845 --> 00:01:31,747
What? No, Kevin, it's a wishing well.
46
00:01:31,747 --> 00:01:32,882
A... a what?
47
00:01:32,882 --> 00:01:34,383
A wishing well.
48
00:01:34,383 --> 00:01:35,684
Take the penny in your hand,
49
00:01:35,684 --> 00:01:37,820
close your eyes, make a wish,
50
00:01:37,820 --> 00:01:38,954
throw it in, and your wish
51
00:01:38,954 --> 00:01:40,656
will come true.
52
00:01:40,656 --> 00:01:41,624
Okay...
53
00:01:41,624 --> 00:01:45,624
54
00:01:51,867 --> 00:01:53,035
Okay, now what?
55
00:01:53,035 --> 00:01:55,604
Now we wait.
56
00:01:55,604 --> 00:01:56,839
No, not here.
57
00:01:56,839 --> 00:01:58,474
- Not here?
- It'll happen later.
58
00:01:58,474 --> 00:02:00,776
Eh.
59
00:02:00,776 --> 00:02:04,776
60
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:19,962
(screaming)
61
00:02:19,962 --> 00:02:23,962
62
00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:43,986
63
00:02:43,986 --> 00:02:45,854
The s'mores on the pizza!
64
00:02:45,854 --> 00:02:47,456
Nice to meet ya!
65
00:02:47,456 --> 00:02:50,092
I'm gonna eat-za you!
66
00:02:50,092 --> 00:02:51,760
Herro?
67
00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,531
Yeah, this is he. What?
68
00:02:55,531 --> 00:02:57,032
Yeah, I'll be right there.
69
00:02:58,367 --> 00:02:59,802
S'mores on the pizza!
70
00:02:59,802 --> 00:03:01,303
Nice to meet ya!
71
00:03:01,303 --> 00:03:04,373
72
00:03:04,373 --> 00:03:06,809
Thank you for responding semi-promptly,
73
00:03:06,809 --> 00:03:08,043
Mr. Pacalioglu.
74
00:03:08,043 --> 00:03:09,445
Yeah, well, you know, to be fair,
75
00:03:09,445 --> 00:03:10,746
you called me literally right
76
00:03:10,746 --> 00:03:12,448
as I was sliding a s'mizza in the oven,
77
00:03:12,448 --> 00:03:14,483
so that's kinda on you.
78
00:03:14,483 --> 00:03:15,784
As I'm sure you're aware,
79
00:03:15,784 --> 00:03:17,987
the Dalworf is one of the finest hotels
80
00:03:17,987 --> 00:03:19,054
in Manhattan.
81
00:03:19,054 --> 00:03:20,456
Our guests expect
82
00:03:20,456 --> 00:03:22,391
the highest standards of luxury.
83
00:03:22,391 --> 00:03:25,327
Any dip in that quality, however small,
84
00:03:25,327 --> 00:03:27,663
is an absolute travesty!
85
00:03:27,663 --> 00:03:28,864
And a smear on the good name
86
00:03:28,864 --> 00:03:30,833
of the Dalworf Hotel!
87
00:03:30,833 --> 00:03:32,634
It's unacceptable;
88
00:03:32,634 --> 00:03:35,304
this is the Dalworf for fuck's sake!
89
00:03:36,605 --> 00:03:38,707
I do apologize;
90
00:03:38,707 --> 00:03:40,609
we're under a lot of stress at the moment.
91
00:03:40,609 --> 00:03:42,711
It's okay; no apology necessary.
92
00:03:42,711 --> 00:03:45,381
The penthouse suite is being haunted.
93
00:03:45,381 --> 00:03:47,516
It's an absolute nightmare in there,
94
00:03:47,516 --> 00:03:50,552
and we have a guest arriving in 48 hours.
95
00:03:50,552 --> 00:03:51,587
I'm willing to give you
96
00:03:51,587 --> 00:03:53,055
500 dollars right now
97
00:03:53,055 --> 00:03:54,590
to get rid of this ghost
98
00:03:54,590 --> 00:03:56,725
before our VIP guest arrives
99
00:03:56,725 --> 00:03:57,893
at the end of the weekend.
100
00:03:57,893 --> 00:03:59,795
VIP, huh? Anybody I know?
101
00:03:59,795 --> 00:04:01,430
I'm not at liberty to say who.
102
00:04:01,430 --> 00:04:02,464
That would be uncouth.
103
00:04:02,464 --> 00:04:03,699
Is it Mayor Meyer?
104
00:04:03,699 --> 00:04:05,401
Trust me, you'll never guess.
105
00:04:05,401 --> 00:04:07,636
Is it James McAvoy?
106
00:04:07,636 --> 00:04:09,338
Just get it done.
107
00:04:09,338 --> 00:04:10,939
108
00:04:10,939 --> 00:04:12,808
Gotcha.
109
00:04:12,808 --> 00:04:14,710
Herrooo!?
110
00:04:16,011 --> 00:04:18,947
Herro?
111
00:04:18,947 --> 00:04:21,583
Fancy hotel ghost?
112
00:04:21,583 --> 00:04:25,788
Just got a call from the, uh, fancy hotel.
113
00:04:25,788 --> 00:04:26,822
They said you were up here
114
00:04:26,822 --> 00:04:28,490
being kind of a dick.
115
00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:29,725
116
00:04:29,725 --> 00:04:31,026
Hey, dick!
117
00:04:31,026 --> 00:04:33,796
118
00:04:33,796 --> 00:04:35,998
I'm not sure how you were being a dick.
119
00:04:35,998 --> 00:04:37,833
This place looks awesome.
120
00:04:37,833 --> 00:04:38,600
Boo!
121
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,769
(screaming)
122
00:04:40,769 --> 00:04:42,805
Oh, my God. Oh, Sue!
123
00:04:42,805 --> 00:04:44,339
What are you... what are you doing here?
124
00:04:44,339 --> 00:04:46,942
Well, I was thinking about that vacation,
125
00:04:46,942 --> 00:04:48,811
and you need money, so I thought
126
00:04:48,811 --> 00:04:50,612
I'd kill two birds with one stone.
127
00:04:50,612 --> 00:04:53,382
Okay, so there are ghost birds in here?
128
00:04:53,382 --> 00:04:54,016
- No!
- Where are they?
129
00:04:54,016 --> 00:04:55,417
I'm the ghost!
130
00:04:55,417 --> 00:04:56,852
I'm the one haunting the suite!
131
00:04:56,852 --> 00:04:58,987
- Oh.
- This way you get paid,
132
00:04:58,987 --> 00:05:00,355
and we get the suite to ourselves
133
00:05:00,355 --> 00:05:01,390
the whole weekend.
134
00:05:01,390 --> 00:05:03,926
Sue, that is stealing.
135
00:05:03,926 --> 00:05:05,794
Also, it's fucking brilliant.
136
00:05:05,794 --> 00:05:06,995
(laughing)
137
00:05:06,995 --> 00:05:08,263
- Yeah!
- Right?
138
00:05:08,263 --> 00:05:10,799
And, check it out.
139
00:05:10,799 --> 00:05:12,768
(gasping) Oh my God.
140
00:05:12,768 --> 00:05:13,702
Is that what I think it is?
141
00:05:13,702 --> 00:05:14,736
Yes.
142
00:05:14,736 --> 00:05:16,405
Fancy hotel bathrobe.
143
00:05:16,405 --> 00:05:19,741
Oh my gosh! Oh, Sue!
144
00:05:19,741 --> 00:05:21,743
Robes like this are for kings and princes!
145
00:05:21,743 --> 00:05:23,412
And now I'm one of them.
146
00:05:23,412 --> 00:05:24,746
Oh, it's like wearing a jacket
147
00:05:24,746 --> 00:05:27,382
made out of lotion!
148
00:05:27,382 --> 00:05:28,550
Oh, Sue.
149
00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:30,419
We are gonna have so much fun!
150
00:05:30,419 --> 00:05:31,019
Yeah!
151
00:05:31,019 --> 00:05:32,387
(knocking)
152
00:05:32,387 --> 00:05:33,455
What's that? Is that the door?
153
00:05:33,455 --> 00:05:33,956
I'll get it.
154
00:05:33,956 --> 00:05:36,058
(giggling)
155
00:05:36,058 --> 00:05:37,626
Hi...
156
00:05:37,626 --> 00:05:38,494
Uh, oh.
157
00:05:38,494 --> 00:05:41,330
Hi, can I help you?
158
00:05:41,330 --> 00:05:43,699
Yes, young man. I believe you can.
159
00:05:43,699 --> 00:05:44,867
Okay, listen.
160
00:05:44,867 --> 00:05:45,868
I... I don't know anything
161
00:05:45,868 --> 00:05:47,336
about Amish culture,
162
00:05:47,336 --> 00:05:48,737
but if you died on one of your, like,
163
00:05:48,737 --> 00:05:49,838
Rumsteiner things...
164
00:05:49,838 --> 00:05:50,906
Holy shit!
165
00:05:50,906 --> 00:05:52,274
It's Abraham Lincoln!
166
00:05:52,274 --> 00:05:53,575
- What?
- That's right!
167
00:05:53,575 --> 00:05:54,943
I must say, I do not appreciate
168
00:05:54,943 --> 00:05:57,613
you two throwing this in a fountain.
169
00:05:57,613 --> 00:05:59,281
Yeah. That was her idea.
170
00:05:59,281 --> 00:06:01,550
I'm a... listen, uh, Your Excellency.
171
00:06:01,550 --> 00:06:02,851
I would be honored to help you finish
172
00:06:02,851 --> 00:06:03,852
your unfinished business,
173
00:06:03,852 --> 00:06:04,920
but can we, you know, like,
174
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:05,921
pencil it in on Monday?
175
00:06:05,921 --> 00:06:07,856
Kevin!
176
00:06:07,856 --> 00:06:09,358
Will you please excuse us for a moment,
177
00:06:09,358 --> 00:06:10,092
Mr. President?
178
00:06:10,092 --> 00:06:11,393
Certainly.
179
00:06:11,393 --> 00:06:12,895
Just one second.
180
00:06:12,895 --> 00:06:14,463
Kevin, he's the President
181
00:06:14,463 --> 00:06:15,797
of the United States.
182
00:06:15,797 --> 00:06:17,065
He, like, brought the country together,
183
00:06:17,065 --> 00:06:18,734
and you know, freed the slaves?
184
00:06:18,734 --> 00:06:20,035
Do you have any idea how hard it would be
185
00:06:20,035 --> 00:06:21,403
to help Abraham Lincoln solve
186
00:06:21,403 --> 00:06:22,404
his unfinished business?
187
00:06:22,404 --> 00:06:23,605
Oh my God,
188
00:06:23,605 --> 00:06:24,873
you want me to end all racism?
189
00:06:24,873 --> 00:06:26,675
What? Uh, heavens no.
190
00:06:26,675 --> 00:06:27,976
You want the complete reunification
191
00:06:27,976 --> 00:06:29,344
of the north and the south?
192
00:06:29,344 --> 00:06:30,846
No, no, no. Nothing like that.
193
00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:34,383
That's a pipe dream, young lady.
194
00:06:34,383 --> 00:06:35,551
I'd just kinda like to see the end
195
00:06:35,551 --> 00:06:37,886
of that play.
196
00:06:37,886 --> 00:06:38,954
Ohh.
197
00:06:43,899 --> 00:06:45,867
I've loved theater since I was
198
00:06:45,867 --> 00:06:48,103
but a young boy in Illinois.
199
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,372
Back then, the fields
of corn were my stage.
200
00:06:50,372 --> 00:06:52,374
I used to make little actor figurines
201
00:06:52,374 --> 00:06:54,776
out of twigs and cow shit.
202
00:06:54,776 --> 00:06:56,912
But alas, being an actor in those days,
203
00:06:56,912 --> 00:06:59,114
well, it was quite difficult.
204
00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:02,384
Truth be told, and I always tell it,
205
00:07:02,384 --> 00:07:04,319
I didn't have the discipline.
206
00:07:04,319 --> 00:07:05,787
So I decided to become president.
207
00:07:05,787 --> 00:07:06,755
Oh!
208
00:07:06,755 --> 00:07:07,956
And then I saved the Union,
209
00:07:07,956 --> 00:07:09,324
freed the slaves, yada, yada,
210
00:07:09,324 --> 00:07:10,359
you get it.
211
00:07:10,359 --> 00:07:11,727
Okay, so your only real regret
212
00:07:11,727 --> 00:07:13,061
is that you never got to see the end
213
00:07:13,061 --> 00:07:14,696
of the play where this dude killed you?
214
00:07:14,696 --> 00:07:16,765
It was the theatrical event of the season!
215
00:07:16,765 --> 00:07:18,367
I waited months for those tickets.
216
00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:19,668
And I would have seen the end, too,
217
00:07:19,668 --> 00:07:20,802
if it wasn't for that motherfucker
218
00:07:20,802 --> 00:07:22,004
John Wilkes Booth!
219
00:07:22,004 --> 00:07:23,372
Woah.
220
00:07:23,372 --> 00:07:24,539
I'm sorry, but he was a dick.
221
00:07:24,539 --> 00:07:26,008
(knocking)
222
00:07:26,008 --> 00:07:28,010
- Hang on.
- If that's the bellhop,
223
00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:31,113
no tip, he's been thirty minutes.
224
00:07:31,113 --> 00:07:32,547
Here's the script you requested,
225
00:07:32,547 --> 00:07:33,815
Mr. Pacalioglu,
226
00:07:33,815 --> 00:07:35,083
though I don't see how it's...
227
00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:37,486
- Thanks!
- What's that?
228
00:07:37,486 --> 00:07:39,087
This is the script to your play,
229
00:07:39,087 --> 00:07:40,422
Our American Cousin.
230
00:07:40,422 --> 00:07:41,623
You got the script?
231
00:07:41,623 --> 00:07:42,624
Oh my God!
232
00:07:42,624 --> 00:07:44,459
Oh my God!
233
00:07:44,459 --> 00:07:45,927
You guys are gonna love it.
234
00:07:45,927 --> 00:07:48,063
It's about this oafish American, see,
235
00:07:48,063 --> 00:07:50,332
who visits his prim and
proper English cousins
236
00:07:50,332 --> 00:07:51,667
after he inherits their estates.
237
00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:53,735
It is an absolute riot!
238
00:07:53,735 --> 00:07:54,836
Ohh, that sounds great.
239
00:07:54,836 --> 00:07:55,837
Let's get started.
240
00:07:55,837 --> 00:07:58,307
So, Act 1, Scene 1.
241
00:07:58,307 --> 00:07:59,908
- An oafish American...
- Ohhh, no, no no.
242
00:07:59,908 --> 00:08:02,444
This is Our American Cousin!
243
00:08:02,444 --> 00:08:05,547
One does not just read Our American Cousin!
244
00:08:05,547 --> 00:08:06,782
It deserves to be performed
245
00:08:06,782 --> 00:08:08,784
on a real stage, with real actors,
246
00:08:08,784 --> 00:08:10,752
and not interrupted by gunshots.
247
00:08:10,752 --> 00:08:12,354
Damn you, John Wilkes Booth!
248
00:08:12,354 --> 00:08:14,389
Damn you to hell!
249
00:08:14,389 --> 00:08:15,624
I imagine he's there, right?
250
00:08:15,624 --> 00:08:17,025
Yeah, I'm sure he is.
251
00:08:17,025 --> 00:08:18,560
Listen, the whole reason
252
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:19,995
I'm in New York is for Broadway,
253
00:08:19,995 --> 00:08:21,129
so if we're going to do this,
254
00:08:21,129 --> 00:08:22,631
we're gonna do it right,
255
00:08:22,631 --> 00:08:24,599
which means we need to find a theater.
256
00:08:24,599 --> 00:08:27,636
Can it be off-Broadway?
257
00:08:27,636 --> 00:08:28,704
Sure.
258
00:08:29,805 --> 00:08:31,406
Uh, hi! Excuse me,
259
00:08:31,406 --> 00:08:32,841
I would like to rent your theater.
260
00:08:32,841 --> 00:08:34,343
Now, before you say no,
261
00:08:34,343 --> 00:08:35,610
let me just explain something to you:
262
00:08:35,610 --> 00:08:37,579
it's actually a show for ghosts.
263
00:08:37,579 --> 00:08:38,080
500 bucks.
264
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:39,448
Oh!
265
00:08:39,448 --> 00:08:40,649
Uh, ex-squeeze me?
266
00:08:40,649 --> 00:08:41,683
This stage has seen it all.
267
00:08:41,683 --> 00:08:42,818
For 500 bucks, you can beat off
268
00:08:42,818 --> 00:08:43,885
in every seat in the theater,
269
00:08:43,885 --> 00:08:45,854
for all I care.
270
00:08:45,854 --> 00:08:47,656
Uh, one second.
271
00:08:47,656 --> 00:08:48,857
500 bucks? That's like,
272
00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:50,058
all the money from the hotel job!
273
00:08:50,058 --> 00:08:51,059
I don't wanna do that!
274
00:08:51,059 --> 00:08:52,828
I love these sconces!
275
00:08:52,828 --> 00:08:54,463
This place has a lot of character.
276
00:08:54,463 --> 00:08:55,664
Abe, don't touch.
277
00:08:55,664 --> 00:08:57,899
Kevin, it's Abraham Lincoln.
278
00:08:57,899 --> 00:08:59,334
People are beating off in there
279
00:08:59,334 --> 00:09:00,802
and then we got to sit in them and...
280
00:09:00,802 --> 00:09:03,739
You just had to manage
a theater, didn't you?
281
00:09:03,739 --> 00:09:04,973
Couldn't have been an engineer
282
00:09:04,973 --> 00:09:07,342
like Dad said, you big, dumb idiot.
283
00:09:07,342 --> 00:09:08,944
Uh, yes. Okay, fine.
284
00:09:08,944 --> 00:09:10,379
We'll take it.
285
00:09:10,379 --> 00:09:12,614
_
286
00:09:12,614 --> 00:09:13,882
Hi, my name is Nicole Schreiber,
287
00:09:13,882 --> 00:09:15,050
and I will be doing a scene
288
00:09:15,050 --> 00:09:16,918
from the motion picture Seven.
289
00:09:16,918 --> 00:09:18,553
Uh, no we actually have material...
290
00:09:18,553 --> 00:09:20,021
- ... for you to read...
- What's in the box?
291
00:09:20,021 --> 00:09:21,857
No, what's in the box?
292
00:09:21,857 --> 00:09:23,592
What's in the freakin' box?
293
00:09:23,592 --> 00:09:27,329
Bang, bang. Bang, bang, bang!
294
00:09:27,329 --> 00:09:28,730
Thank you, next!
295
00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:32,134
296
00:09:32,134 --> 00:09:33,502
(laughing)
297
00:09:33,502 --> 00:09:34,669
- No.
- No?
298
00:09:34,669 --> 00:09:36,471
Okay, fair enough.
299
00:09:36,471 --> 00:09:38,440
I've performed at Chillicothe Rep,
300
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:39,674
Spokane Regional,
301
00:09:39,674 --> 00:09:41,109
and Children's Kabuki Theater
302
00:09:41,109 --> 00:09:42,411
of Tallahassee.
303
00:09:42,411 --> 00:09:43,512
And, as you might imagine,
304
00:09:43,512 --> 00:09:45,647
I am offer-only.
305
00:09:45,647 --> 00:09:47,015
306
00:09:47,015 --> 00:09:48,717
Okay, yeah, we're gonna have to pass.
307
00:09:48,717 --> 00:09:50,385
Okay, okay, okay. I'll audition.
308
00:09:50,385 --> 00:09:52,687
Just gimme a second.
309
00:09:52,687 --> 00:09:54,723
Okay, take your time.
310
00:09:54,723 --> 00:09:56,558
Is this a-peeling?
311
00:09:56,558 --> 00:09:57,826
Oh, you know what?
312
00:09:57,826 --> 00:09:59,828
I think it might match one of these.
313
00:09:59,828 --> 00:10:02,631
314
00:10:02,631 --> 00:10:03,732
(in a bad British accent)
He's no cousin of...
315
00:10:03,732 --> 00:10:05,333
Next up!
316
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:06,067
Next.
317
00:10:06,067 --> 00:10:08,036
Let my people...
318
00:10:08,036 --> 00:10:09,805
Noooo!
319
00:10:09,805 --> 00:10:13,074
(sighs) God damn it, Abraham.
320
00:10:13,074 --> 00:10:16,578
And in the end, the greatest riches
321
00:10:16,578 --> 00:10:19,381
are neither gold nor estate,
322
00:10:19,381 --> 00:10:22,784
but rather the bonds of enduring love
323
00:10:22,784 --> 00:10:26,784
forever forged in that great flame
324
00:10:27,689 --> 00:10:31,460
which we call family.
325
00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:33,995
326
00:10:33,995 --> 00:10:35,697
Like, I mean?
327
00:10:35,697 --> 00:10:37,866
(imitates gunshot)
328
00:10:37,866 --> 00:10:38,900
It's Joey Pants,
329
00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:40,936
he won an Emmy!
330
00:10:40,936 --> 00:10:42,404
Supporting.
331
00:10:42,404 --> 00:10:43,438
Hey, what do you want?
332
00:10:43,438 --> 00:10:44,639
We've seen everybody.
333
00:10:44,639 --> 00:10:45,607
Then find me more!
334
00:10:45,607 --> 00:10:47,042
This play deserves a star.
335
00:10:47,042 --> 00:10:48,777
Uh, like, who do you got in mind?
336
00:10:48,777 --> 00:10:49,845
Matthew Biscotti?
337
00:10:49,845 --> 00:10:52,681
I mean, come on.
338
00:10:52,681 --> 00:10:54,049
Matthew Biscotti?
339
00:10:54,049 --> 00:10:55,350
Of television's
340
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,085
Felonies and Misdemeanors?
341
00:10:57,085 --> 00:10:58,653
- Maybe?
- Yes, by God!
342
00:10:58,653 --> 00:11:00,021
That's exactly who I want.
343
00:11:00,021 --> 00:11:01,690
He's fantastic; he's perfect!
344
00:11:01,690 --> 00:11:02,724
I'll settle for nothing less,
345
00:11:02,724 --> 00:11:05,026
do you hear me? Nothing less!
346
00:11:05,026 --> 00:11:06,695
(chuckling)
347
00:11:06,695 --> 00:11:08,930
Oh no, he's got a Biscotti boner.
348
00:11:08,930 --> 00:11:10,699
(knocking on door)
349
00:11:10,699 --> 00:11:12,400
Matthew?
350
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:13,735
Matthew Biscotti?
351
00:11:13,735 --> 00:11:15,904
- Are ya in there?
- Fuck off!
352
00:11:15,904 --> 00:11:16,905
Leave me alone.
353
00:11:16,905 --> 00:11:18,640
No. No, no, no, no. Listen!
354
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:19,808
It's... it's, uh, it's Kevin Pacalioglu.
355
00:11:19,808 --> 00:11:21,009
I need to talk to you.
356
00:11:21,009 --> 00:11:22,744
I was on, uh, I was on the show
357
00:11:22,744 --> 00:11:24,446
with Camomile, so...
358
00:11:24,446 --> 00:11:25,847
Who?
359
00:11:25,847 --> 00:11:27,916
I was the, uh, I was the fat guy
360
00:11:27,916 --> 00:11:29,818
who kept falling down?
361
00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:32,554
Hi.
362
00:11:32,554 --> 00:11:35,056
You.
363
00:11:35,056 --> 00:11:36,892
Do you know where Camomile is?
364
00:11:36,892 --> 00:11:37,926
Why are you naked?
365
00:11:37,926 --> 00:11:39,394
Oh, God.
366
00:11:39,394 --> 00:11:42,063
Oh God! She's gone.
367
00:11:42,063 --> 00:11:43,899
I'm all alone.
368
00:11:43,899 --> 00:11:45,367
Yeah, hey, shush, shush!
369
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:46,601
Come on, man! Dry 'em up, dry 'em up!
370
00:11:46,601 --> 00:11:47,769
It's okay.
371
00:11:47,769 --> 00:11:49,471
Everything's gonna... ahh!
372
00:11:49,471 --> 00:11:51,373
Ohh, vomit!
373
00:11:51,373 --> 00:11:52,607
Ohh!
374
00:11:54,678 --> 00:11:57,047
375
00:11:57,047 --> 00:12:01,084
So, uh, what... what happened to Camomile?
376
00:12:01,084 --> 00:12:02,886
You know that, uh,
377
00:12:02,886 --> 00:12:04,855
whole Samantha Cherry story?
378
00:12:04,855 --> 00:12:06,390
The girl that they took out of, uh,
379
00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:07,691
they took out of that bunker last week?
380
00:12:07,691 --> 00:12:09,026
Yeah, I heard about it.
I mean, uh, everybody
381
00:12:09,026 --> 00:12:10,494
knows about it, I... I didn't have anything
382
00:12:10,494 --> 00:12:11,495
to do with it, if that's
what you're saying.
383
00:12:11,495 --> 00:12:12,763
I mean, how could I?
384
00:12:12,763 --> 00:12:13,997
I'm just a fat guy that falls down!
385
00:12:13,997 --> 00:12:14,932
I'm just a fat guy that falls down!
386
00:12:14,932 --> 00:12:17,134
Ask anybody!
387
00:12:17,134 --> 00:12:20,537
Okay, well, anyway, when Cam heard
388
00:12:20,537 --> 00:12:21,939
that Samantha had been found,
389
00:12:21,939 --> 00:12:24,608
I mean, she totally, she freaked out.
390
00:12:24,608 --> 00:12:27,344
Because you know, talking to
391
00:12:27,344 --> 00:12:28,612
Samantha Cherry's ghost
392
00:12:28,612 --> 00:12:29,880
essentially launched her career!
393
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:31,381
I know.
394
00:12:31,381 --> 00:12:32,482
And, and she started talking about how
395
00:12:32,482 --> 00:12:33,684
she's been exposed,
396
00:12:33,684 --> 00:12:34,985
and it's like, it was...
397
00:12:34,985 --> 00:12:36,486
it was done for her as a medium!
398
00:12:36,486 --> 00:12:37,788
It was over!
399
00:12:37,788 --> 00:12:41,788
And then, and then, she, um, vanished?
400
00:12:42,459 --> 00:12:43,961
And uh,
401
00:12:43,961 --> 00:12:46,096
I haven't heard from her for days.
402
00:12:46,096 --> 00:12:48,065
Okay, all right, all right.
403
00:12:48,065 --> 00:12:49,900
Hey hey hey, listen, listen, listen!
404
00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:51,368
Listen, listen.
405
00:12:51,368 --> 00:12:52,703
You need to take your
mind off of this, okay,
406
00:12:52,703 --> 00:12:54,671
and I have just the thing.
407
00:12:54,671 --> 00:12:56,807
Oh, no. I don't know.
408
00:12:56,807 --> 00:12:58,642
If I do any more coke, I
think my head will explode.
409
00:12:58,642 --> 00:13:00,043
No, no. I'm not talking about coke,
410
00:13:00,043 --> 00:13:02,546
I'm talking about the best drug of all.
411
00:13:02,546 --> 00:13:06,617
I'm talking about acting.
412
00:13:06,617 --> 00:13:07,818
Remember that?
413
00:13:07,818 --> 00:13:09,920
Yeah, there's that twinkle.
414
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:11,989
I'm putting on a show tonight.
415
00:13:11,989 --> 00:13:13,390
It's an old-timey play,
416
00:13:13,390 --> 00:13:14,558
it's over three hours long.
417
00:13:14,558 --> 00:13:15,926
It makes no sense whatsoever.
418
00:13:15,926 --> 00:13:17,928
And you'd only have this
afternoon to prepare.
419
00:13:17,928 --> 00:13:19,096
Basically, it's...
420
00:13:19,096 --> 00:13:20,497
The role of a lifetime!
421
00:13:20,497 --> 00:13:21,898
Yes.
422
00:13:24,434 --> 00:13:26,937
(glass shattering)
423
00:13:26,937 --> 00:13:29,306
- I'll do it.
- Yes!
424
00:13:29,306 --> 00:13:31,408
God, it is exactly how I imagined it.
425
00:13:31,975 --> 00:13:33,477
Woah, woah.
426
00:13:33,477 --> 00:13:34,811
Ay-o.
427
00:13:34,811 --> 00:13:37,781
Matthew Biscotti, the greatest actor alive
428
00:13:37,781 --> 00:13:40,450
is here to save your play.
429
00:13:40,450 --> 00:13:41,852
O-M-G!
430
00:13:41,852 --> 00:13:44,655
I am freaking out right now.
431
00:13:44,655 --> 00:13:46,923
- Where is everybody?
- Oh, uh yeah.
432
00:13:46,923 --> 00:13:49,126
I, maybe I failed to mention this is a, uh,
433
00:13:49,126 --> 00:13:50,961
play for ghosts.
434
00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:52,029
(gulps loudly)
435
00:13:52,029 --> 00:13:53,530
- Fantastic.
- All right.
436
00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:54,898
- Is he drunk?
- Uh, yes.
437
00:13:54,898 --> 00:13:57,367
- Very much so.
- Can he pull this off?
438
00:13:57,367 --> 00:13:58,301
I don't know, I guess we're
439
00:13:58,301 --> 00:13:59,536
about to find out, right?
440
00:13:59,536 --> 00:14:00,737
Uh, Mr. Biscotti, would you mind terribly
441
00:14:00,737 --> 00:14:01,872
if we did a little rehearsal?
442
00:14:01,872 --> 00:14:03,674
Um, here's the script.
443
00:14:03,674 --> 00:14:05,042
- I'm ready.
- Okay.
444
00:14:05,042 --> 00:14:07,044
Okay then. Great.
445
00:14:07,044 --> 00:14:08,779
Uh, okay. Uh.
446
00:14:08,779 --> 00:14:12,382
Hold the work, quiet on the set.
447
00:14:12,382 --> 00:14:13,850
(glass shattering)
448
00:14:13,850 --> 00:14:16,086
449
00:14:16,086 --> 00:14:20,123
And... Biscotti.
450
00:14:20,123 --> 00:14:22,693
Y'all...
451
00:14:22,693 --> 00:14:26,763
us Yanks don't know a
crumpet from a castle,
452
00:14:26,763 --> 00:14:30,067
but we do know when a
family needs a fixin'.
453
00:14:30,067 --> 00:14:33,470
I don't wanna be in your will.
454
00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:35,872
I just wanna be in your hearts.
455
00:14:35,872 --> 00:14:38,375
456
00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:39,576
- Pretty good, right?
- Oh my God.
457
00:14:39,576 --> 00:14:42,979
I mean, pretty good, I gotta say!
458
00:14:42,979 --> 00:14:44,915
He was fantastic.
459
00:14:44,915 --> 00:14:46,650
Almost too good.
460
00:14:46,650 --> 00:14:47,818
A performance like that,
461
00:14:47,818 --> 00:14:49,352
why, it needs a big finish!
462
00:14:49,352 --> 00:14:50,821
I'm afraid what we have
is just not good enough.
463
00:14:50,821 --> 00:14:52,389
What are you talking about?
464
00:14:52,389 --> 00:14:53,323
You haven't even seen the end of the play,
465
00:14:53,323 --> 00:14:54,491
that's the whole point!
466
00:14:54,491 --> 00:14:55,659
Keep getting everything ready,
467
00:14:55,659 --> 00:14:56,960
leave the rest to me.
468
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,495
No, Abe! No, Abe! What does that mean?
469
00:14:58,495 --> 00:14:59,663
Abe!
470
00:14:59,663 --> 00:15:01,398
Wow, that's good acoustics.
471
00:15:01,398 --> 00:15:02,833
Kevin, let's just get
through the play tonight,
472
00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:04,034
and then tomorrow we'll have
473
00:15:04,034 --> 00:15:06,002
the suite all to ourselves, okay?
474
00:15:06,002 --> 00:15:07,738
Playbill Theatre Our American Cousin
475
00:15:07,738 --> 00:15:09,039
One Night Only
476
00:15:09,039 --> 00:15:10,741
Programs?
477
00:15:10,741 --> 00:15:13,543
478
00:15:13,543 --> 00:15:14,745
I'm very excited.
479
00:15:14,745 --> 00:15:16,913
I've actually seen the show,
480
00:15:16,913 --> 00:15:17,914
just not the end.
481
00:15:17,914 --> 00:15:19,816
Oh, I see.
482
00:15:19,816 --> 00:15:22,419
483
00:15:22,419 --> 00:15:24,387
Matthew?
484
00:15:24,387 --> 00:15:26,056
You okay there, bud?
485
00:15:26,056 --> 00:15:28,091
You seem a little passed out-y.
486
00:15:28,091 --> 00:15:30,927
Places, places for the top of Act One!
487
00:15:30,927 --> 00:15:33,764
Let's break legs, people!
488
00:15:33,764 --> 00:15:37,567
- Yeah!
- Look alive, god damn it!
489
00:15:37,567 --> 00:15:38,835
(orchestra warming up)
490
00:15:38,835 --> 00:15:40,904
(applause)
491
00:15:40,904 --> 00:15:43,073
(unintelligible discussion)
492
00:15:45,041 --> 00:15:47,644
Where is our American cousin?
493
00:15:47,644 --> 00:15:49,079
- Hey, y'all!
- Yes!
494
00:15:49,079 --> 00:15:51,114
Biscotti!
495
00:15:51,114 --> 00:15:52,649
Sorry I was late.
496
00:15:52,649 --> 00:15:54,651
I was just outside parking that big dog.
497
00:15:54,651 --> 00:15:55,685
(spits)
498
00:15:55,685 --> 00:15:57,854
It's not a dog, it's a horse.
499
00:15:57,854 --> 00:15:59,122
(haughty chuckling)
500
00:15:59,122 --> 00:16:01,725
(laughter)
501
00:16:01,725 --> 00:16:04,327
(applause)
502
00:16:04,327 --> 00:16:05,362
503
00:16:05,362 --> 00:16:06,463
How was your trip over
504
00:16:06,463 --> 00:16:07,964
from America, dear cousin?
505
00:16:07,964 --> 00:16:09,366
Oh, look at Lincoln.
506
00:16:09,366 --> 00:16:10,901
He's not even paying attention.
507
00:16:10,901 --> 00:16:12,636
My God, is he quilling?
508
00:16:12,636 --> 00:16:14,771
Honestly, what an asshole!
509
00:16:14,771 --> 00:16:16,406
Oh, dear cousin!
510
00:16:16,406 --> 00:16:18,508
(haughty chuckling)
511
00:16:18,508 --> 00:16:19,609
Y'all sure do have
512
00:16:19,609 --> 00:16:20,944
funny tasting coffee here.
513
00:16:20,944 --> 00:16:22,312
(spits)
514
00:16:22,312 --> 00:16:24,748
That's not coffee, that's tea!
515
00:16:24,748 --> 00:16:27,350
(laughter)
516
00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:31,350
517
00:16:32,389 --> 00:16:33,523
They're really quiet tonight.
518
00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:35,025
I feel like I'm dying out there!
519
00:16:35,025 --> 00:16:36,493
No, no. That's 'cause they're dead.
520
00:16:36,493 --> 00:16:38,795
You're killin' it, trust me.
521
00:16:38,795 --> 00:16:40,831
Yeah.
522
00:16:40,831 --> 00:16:42,799
Woo! Let's bring it home, people!
523
00:16:42,799 --> 00:16:44,568
Shhh. Come on, man.
524
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:45,936
Oh Pac!
525
00:16:45,936 --> 00:16:47,404
Pac.
526
00:16:47,404 --> 00:16:48,705
I loved those last-minute
527
00:16:48,705 --> 00:16:50,340
third act rewrites!
528
00:16:50,340 --> 00:16:52,542
- Oh, what?
- Let's do this, people.
529
00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:53,643
No, no, no, Biscotti, what, what?
530
00:16:53,643 --> 00:16:55,445
What third act rewrite?
531
00:16:55,445 --> 00:16:57,380
532
00:16:57,380 --> 00:16:59,349
Where the hell is Lincoln?
533
00:16:59,349 --> 00:17:02,686
534
00:17:02,686 --> 00:17:04,087
Well, that ain't a biscuit.
535
00:17:04,087 --> 00:17:05,722
That's a cookie!
536
00:17:05,722 --> 00:17:06,957
(haughty chuckling)
537
00:17:06,957 --> 00:17:08,391
(gunshot)
538
00:17:08,391 --> 00:17:10,527
(crowd murmuring)
539
00:17:10,527 --> 00:17:12,128
One hundred and fifty years ago,
540
00:17:12,128 --> 00:17:14,865
I was murdered during this very play.
541
00:17:14,865 --> 00:17:17,434
I thought I had died in vain until today.
542
00:17:17,434 --> 00:17:18,568
What?
543
00:17:18,568 --> 00:17:20,804
For today, I finally realized
544
00:17:20,804 --> 00:17:23,940
that my death was not about the war,
545
00:17:23,940 --> 00:17:26,509
the Union, or even Emancipation.
546
00:17:26,509 --> 00:17:29,646
No, it was so that I could bring you
547
00:17:29,646 --> 00:17:33,917
the ultimate theatrical experience!
548
00:17:33,917 --> 00:17:35,585
(thunder sound effect)
549
00:17:35,585 --> 00:17:39,585
550
00:17:45,328 --> 00:17:48,098
Welcome to...
551
00:17:48,098 --> 00:17:51,968
Lincoln, for one night only.
552
00:17:51,968 --> 00:17:55,968
I'm Lincoln
553
00:17:58,008 --> 00:18:01,011
And I'm thinkin'
554
00:18:01,011 --> 00:18:03,980
that the slaves should be free
555
00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:05,782
I'm Lincoln,
556
00:18:05,782 --> 00:18:08,685
and I'm thinkin'
557
00:18:08,685 --> 00:18:11,788
That I should be
558
00:18:11,788 --> 00:18:15,788
me-ee
559
00:18:16,993 --> 00:18:19,062
(applause)
560
00:18:19,062 --> 00:18:21,665
(cheering)
561
00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:27,533
562
00:18:31,942 --> 00:18:34,411
Growing up in a log cabin was tough.
563
00:18:34,411 --> 00:18:35,478
In fact, the only thing worse
564
00:18:35,478 --> 00:18:37,047
than winters in Illinois
565
00:18:37,047 --> 00:18:39,382
was my mom's tomato soup!
566
00:18:39,382 --> 00:18:40,483
Blah!
567
00:18:40,483 --> 00:18:42,485
(laughter)
568
00:18:42,485 --> 00:18:46,589
569
00:18:46,589 --> 00:18:48,959
I love you, Abraham.
570
00:18:48,959 --> 00:18:51,995
And I promise I'll never be crazy.
571
00:18:51,995 --> 00:18:53,897
That's my wife, Mary Todd,
572
00:18:53,897 --> 00:18:55,765
and boy, was she wrong!
573
00:18:55,765 --> 00:18:58,601
(laughter)
574
00:18:58,601 --> 00:18:59,936
But seriously, though, she was
575
00:18:59,936 --> 00:19:02,872
clinically diagnosed with schizophrenia.
576
00:19:02,872 --> 00:19:06,872
577
00:19:09,779 --> 00:19:11,548
And, Mr. Lincoln?
578
00:19:11,548 --> 00:19:14,617
Thank you for freeing us.
579
00:19:14,617 --> 00:19:16,086
Word.
580
00:19:16,086 --> 00:19:18,521
(cheering, applause)
581
00:19:18,521 --> 00:19:21,091
(Lincoln chuckling)
582
00:19:21,091 --> 00:19:22,459
(cell phone vibrating)
583
00:19:22,459 --> 00:19:24,694
Shit.
584
00:19:24,694 --> 00:19:25,662
Hello?
585
00:19:25,662 --> 00:19:27,530
- Mr. Pacalioglu?
- Yeah.
586
00:19:27,530 --> 00:19:28,665
Just wanted to say "Thank you"
587
00:19:28,665 --> 00:19:29,866
on a job well done.
588
00:19:29,866 --> 00:19:31,701
What? What are you talking about?
589
00:19:31,701 --> 00:19:34,537
Mr. McAvoy arrived a day early,
590
00:19:34,537 --> 00:19:36,006
but we haven't had any hauntings
591
00:19:36,006 --> 00:19:37,841
all day, sir. Splendid work.
592
00:19:37,841 --> 00:19:39,042
Thank you for your services,
593
00:19:39,042 --> 00:19:40,543
no need to return to the hotel.
594
00:19:40,543 --> 00:19:41,511
- No no no no!
- Goodbye!
595
00:19:41,511 --> 00:19:44,414
No no no! Oh no!
596
00:19:44,414 --> 00:19:46,416
(applause, cheering)
597
00:19:47,984 --> 00:19:49,486
Oh!
598
00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:52,555
- You!
- You!
599
00:19:52,555 --> 00:19:55,058
- We did it, huh?
- We did what?
600
00:19:55,058 --> 00:19:57,861
We failed, you big, dumb top-hatted idiot!
601
00:19:57,861 --> 00:19:58,928
I lost everything!
602
00:19:58,928 --> 00:20:00,930
I lost my money, I lost my robe,
603
00:20:00,930 --> 00:20:03,600
I lost my suite all thanks to you!
604
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,001
This was supposed to be a staycation.
605
00:20:05,001 --> 00:20:07,670
Instead it's turned into a...
606
00:20:07,670 --> 00:20:09,639
whatever the opposite of a staycation is.
607
00:20:09,639 --> 00:20:11,041
- A job?
- Shut up.
608
00:20:11,041 --> 00:20:12,976
You shut your talkin' hole, all right?
609
00:20:12,976 --> 00:20:14,444
And... and you know what else?
610
00:20:14,444 --> 00:20:15,445
Do you wanna know what the icing is
611
00:20:15,445 --> 00:20:16,679
on this poo-pie?
612
00:20:16,679 --> 00:20:17,947
You were too selfish to even finish
613
00:20:17,947 --> 00:20:20,050
your own business, you big dumb jerk!
614
00:20:20,050 --> 00:20:21,951
Why don't you just go and grow a mustache,
615
00:20:21,951 --> 00:20:22,819
you piece of...
616
00:20:22,819 --> 00:20:23,887
- Pac!
- What?
617
00:20:23,887 --> 00:20:25,422
I did finish my business.
618
00:20:25,422 --> 00:20:26,656
No you didn't, Abe.
619
00:20:26,656 --> 00:20:27,824
You didn't see the end of the play!
620
00:20:27,824 --> 00:20:28,992
Do you hear them?
621
00:20:28,992 --> 00:20:30,560
They love me!
622
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:31,828
Pac, a true theater geek
623
00:20:31,828 --> 00:20:33,096
doesn't wanna just see theater,
624
00:20:33,096 --> 00:20:34,764
he wants to live it!
625
00:20:34,764 --> 00:20:36,733
That's all I ever wanted, was to perform!
626
00:20:36,733 --> 00:20:38,435
On a stage, in front of an audience.
627
00:20:38,435 --> 00:20:40,403
Why do you think I was such a great orator?
628
00:20:40,403 --> 00:20:41,704
"Four score and seven years ago"?
629
00:20:41,704 --> 00:20:43,106
That shit killed, buddy.
630
00:20:43,106 --> 00:20:44,541
- Well, that's true.
- I just wish back then
631
00:20:44,541 --> 00:20:46,576
I'd had a mic to drop.
632
00:20:46,576 --> 00:20:47,677
Yeah, okay.
633
00:20:47,677 --> 00:20:48,845
Thank you, Kevin.
634
00:20:48,845 --> 00:20:50,346
For everything.
635
00:20:50,346 --> 00:20:51,714
And hey...
636
00:20:51,714 --> 00:20:53,817
637
00:20:53,817 --> 00:20:56,052
I hope your wish comes true, too.
638
00:20:56,052 --> 00:21:00,052
639
00:21:01,925 --> 00:21:03,526
Crazy show, right?
640
00:21:03,526 --> 00:21:04,794
Yeah.
641
00:21:04,794 --> 00:21:06,963
Oh, uh...
642
00:21:06,963 --> 00:21:08,932
Sue, I just got off the
phone with the hotel.
643
00:21:08,932 --> 00:21:10,567
I lost the suite!
644
00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:12,469
And completely ruined our staycation!
645
00:21:12,469 --> 00:21:14,871
No! Who said it was ruined?
646
00:21:14,871 --> 00:21:17,640
We got to put on a play
for a former President,
647
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:19,809
I got to be stage manager.
648
00:21:19,809 --> 00:21:21,077
And most importantly,
649
00:21:21,077 --> 00:21:23,012
I got to spend time with you.
650
00:21:23,012 --> 00:21:25,115
It was the perfect staycation.
651
00:21:25,115 --> 00:21:27,016
That's exactly what I wished for.
652
00:21:27,016 --> 00:21:30,086
See? That fountain shit works.
653
00:21:36,124 --> 00:21:40,124
654
00:21:43,999 --> 00:21:45,200
(gasps)
655
00:21:48,504 --> 00:21:52,504
Where the hell am I?!
656
00:21:55,144 --> 00:21:56,345
657
00:21:56,345 --> 00:22:02,047
I'm Lincoln
658
00:22:02,051 --> 00:22:05,054
And I'm thinkin'
659
00:22:05,054 --> 00:22:07,957
that the slaves should be free
660
00:22:07,957 --> 00:22:10,059
I'm Lincoln,
661
00:22:10,059 --> 00:22:12,428
and I'm thinkin'
662
00:22:12,428 --> 00:22:15,698
That I should be
663
00:22:15,698 --> 00:22:19,698
me-ee
664
00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:25,407
(coughs after holding note)
665
00:22:25,407 --> 00:22:26,909
How long am I supposed to hold this?
666
00:22:26,909 --> 00:22:29,111
... eeee
667
00:22:29,111 --> 00:22:34,111
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
668
00:22:34,161 --> 00:22:38,711
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
42227
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof