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1
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2
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Why do blind people
walk their dogs so much?
3
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Is this really what you called me for?
4
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No. No, I'm sorry.
5
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It was just the first thing
6
00:00:21,679 --> 00:00:23,214
that popped into my
head when you picked up.
7
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I'm calling because, uh,
8
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I'm being blackmailed.
9
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Blackmailed by Camomile White
10
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to help her with her
stupid reality TV show.
11
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Oh, is she tryin' to use
you to talk to ghosts?
12
00:00:31,355 --> 00:00:33,925
Well, no. She's using
me to keep ghosts away,
13
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so she can pretend to talk to ghosts.
14
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What... what do I do?
15
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Tell that skinny bitch no!
16
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No, no. I'm afraid not, Roofie.
17
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In this situation that is literally
18
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the worst N-word I could use.
19
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It's not. It's not.
20
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It is. Trust me.
21
00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,474
Oh, yo, what does she have on you?
22
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Oh, well, that's...
23
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,244
that's sort of where it gets interesting.
24
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I, uh, kinda sorta accidentally told her
25
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that I kept Sue from
walking into her light.
26
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And it wouldn't be so bad
27
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if I hadn't sorta kinda done it
28
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in front of her video camera?
29
00:01:03,654 --> 00:01:05,857
Look, here's what you do, okay?
30
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Come clean, all right?
31
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Tell Sue the truth,
32
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and Camomile has nothing on you.
33
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Ooh, the truth
34
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is some risky business, Roofie.
35
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Dude, if she loves you,
36
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she'll forgive you man.
37
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If she really wants to be with you,
38
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you'll be fine.
39
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Look, Roofie. There are
40
00:01:18,569 --> 00:01:20,404
a few good men out there, okay,
41
00:01:20,404 --> 00:01:21,272
and I'm just tryin' to make
42
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all the right moves,
43
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but if I go into this thing
44
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with my eyes wide shut,
45
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the whole thing could
literally fall into oblivion.
46
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Are you even listening to me?
47
00:01:28,746 --> 00:01:30,848
Or are you just listing Tom Cruise movies?
48
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Who's Tom Cruise?
49
00:01:32,316 --> 00:01:34,452
Look. Just be honest with Sue, okay?
50
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The difference in your relationship...
51
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-... will be like...
- Knight and Day.
52
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Classic Cameron Diaz tale of love.
53
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I like it. I like where
your head's at, Roofie!
54
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No more lies. It's over.
55
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:44,328
No. You did it again, man!
56
00:01:44,328 --> 00:01:46,531
Are you listening...
57
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Motherfucker.
58
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Okay!
59
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I'm off to work.
60
00:01:53,404 --> 00:01:54,972
And that's the truth!
61
00:01:54,972 --> 00:01:55,973
I had a really nice time
62
00:01:55,973 --> 00:01:57,475
on our date the other night.
63
00:01:57,475 --> 00:01:58,876
Yeah, me too! I'm... I'm being
64
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super honest right now.
65
00:02:00,678 --> 00:02:03,314
Hey! I was thinking maybe I could stop
66
00:02:03,314 --> 00:02:05,616
by the newsstand today? Keep you company?
67
00:02:05,616 --> 00:02:07,618
I don't know. I don't... nah.
68
00:02:07,618 --> 00:02:08,953
I don't think it's a good idea.
69
00:02:08,953 --> 00:02:10,454
I mean, I got, like, so much stuff to do.
70
00:02:10,454 --> 00:02:11,522
I am... I'm snowed in.
71
00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:12,723
I got so much paperwork.
72
00:02:12,723 --> 00:02:14,392
My desk is buried in paperwork.
73
00:02:14,392 --> 00:02:15,827
There's a desk at the newsstand?
74
00:02:15,827 --> 00:02:18,629
Yeah. You'd... you'd never know, right?
75
00:02:18,629 --> 00:02:20,832
Okay. Then I guess I'll just stay here.
76
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All day.
77
00:02:21,933 --> 00:02:24,302
By myself.
78
00:02:24,302 --> 00:02:25,870
I don't want you to stay here
79
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by yourself all day.
80
00:02:27,905 --> 00:02:29,340
Why don't... why don't you go chop it up,
81
00:02:29,340 --> 00:02:30,808
make some ghost friends out there?
82
00:02:30,808 --> 00:02:33,277
What? Just go out in the
world and make friends?
83
00:02:33,277 --> 00:02:34,812
Yeah! It's easy, walk up to someone
84
00:02:34,812 --> 00:02:36,214
and say, "Hey. How'd you die?"
85
00:02:36,214 --> 00:02:37,481
You were murdered then raped?
86
00:02:37,481 --> 00:02:38,482
That doesn't happen very often.
87
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My name's Sue.
88
00:02:39,283 --> 00:02:40,551
"What's up?"
89
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:41,686
- I don't know.
- Yeah.
90
00:02:41,686 --> 00:02:42,520
Just tell me about it later.
91
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:43,487
Okay? Tonight.
92
00:02:43,487 --> 00:02:45,223
Not... not today.
93
00:02:45,223 --> 00:02:46,357
Because obviously I'm gonna be at work
94
00:02:46,357 --> 00:02:48,693
at the... at the newsstand.
95
00:02:48,693 --> 00:02:50,228
At my desk all day.
96
00:02:50,228 --> 00:02:51,529
Oh, okay.
97
00:02:51,529 --> 00:02:52,330
That's where I work.
98
00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:53,431
Okay, bye!
99
00:02:53,431 --> 00:02:57,431
100
00:03:00,872 --> 00:03:04,872
101
00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:12,450
(screaming)
102
00:03:12,450 --> 00:03:16,450
103
00:03:27,451 --> 00:03:32,451
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
104
00:03:33,404 --> 00:03:37,404
105
00:03:46,550 --> 00:03:48,185
(clears throat)
106
00:03:48,185 --> 00:03:49,687
I'm sorry. Am I in the shot?
107
00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,188
Uh, no one's even holding
108
00:03:51,188 --> 00:03:53,190
a camera right now.
109
00:03:53,190 --> 00:03:54,592
I'm sorry, who are you?
110
00:03:54,592 --> 00:03:55,927
He's with me.
111
00:03:55,927 --> 00:03:58,262
He's, uh, my new head of security.
112
00:03:58,262 --> 00:03:58,829
That's right.
113
00:03:58,829 --> 00:04:00,531
Yup.
114
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:00,965
Uppercut.
115
00:04:00,965 --> 00:04:01,732
Stop it.
116
00:04:01,732 --> 00:04:03,367
Put that on.
117
00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:04,902
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen.
118
00:04:04,902 --> 00:04:07,638
Uh, this nameless,
119
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:09,540
deodorantless security man
120
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,742
takes his job very seriously,
121
00:04:11,742 --> 00:04:13,945
so please no one talk to him,
122
00:04:13,945 --> 00:04:15,846
look at him, or feed him.
123
00:04:15,846 --> 00:04:16,714
Mm-hm.
124
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Gremlin rules apply.
125
00:04:17,848 --> 00:04:19,784
Am I clear?
126
00:04:19,784 --> 00:04:22,787
Not one ghost wanders onto this set today.
127
00:04:22,787 --> 00:04:24,188
Do you hear me?
128
00:04:24,188 --> 00:04:25,823
My job as a medium is hard enough
129
00:04:25,823 --> 00:04:26,791
without having to deal with
130
00:04:26,791 --> 00:04:28,492
this paranormal bullshit.
131
00:04:28,492 --> 00:04:29,760
Mm-hm.
132
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:33,760
133
00:04:34,832 --> 00:04:38,903
She had sex with him on
the first date in an Uber.
134
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,238
Can you believe that slut?
135
00:04:41,238 --> 00:04:42,540
I wouldn't say she's a slut.
136
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:45,476
She just has a sweet tooth... for penis.
137
00:04:45,476 --> 00:04:47,478
(laughing)
138
00:04:47,478 --> 00:04:49,447
Sounds like a total whore.
139
00:04:49,447 --> 00:04:51,415
That's our friend.
140
00:04:51,415 --> 00:04:52,683
Rude!
141
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:55,386
Ugh.
142
00:04:55,386 --> 00:04:57,922
You just said she was a slut?
143
00:04:57,922 --> 00:05:00,858
144
00:05:00,858 --> 00:05:03,561
(unzipping)
145
00:05:03,561 --> 00:05:05,796
(laughing)
146
00:05:05,796 --> 00:05:06,664
Hey, how long do you think
147
00:05:06,664 --> 00:05:09,200
until he notices?
148
00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:10,634
New ghost, huh?
149
00:05:10,634 --> 00:05:11,669
How can you tell?
150
00:05:11,669 --> 00:05:12,870
Oh, the new ones float around
151
00:05:12,870 --> 00:05:14,805
like a tourist in a fanny pack.
152
00:05:14,805 --> 00:05:15,840
Oh, don't worry! It'll wear off
153
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:17,375
after a decade or so!
154
00:05:17,375 --> 00:05:18,876
How long have you been a ghost?
155
00:05:18,876 --> 00:05:20,211
Oh, I died in the Triangle
156
00:05:20,211 --> 00:05:21,479
Shirtwaist Factory fire,
157
00:05:21,479 --> 00:05:23,314
way back in 1911.
158
00:05:23,314 --> 00:05:24,548
And I died on my period,
159
00:05:24,548 --> 00:05:26,584
so feels like twice as long.
160
00:05:26,584 --> 00:05:28,652
Oh. What's your unfinished business?
161
00:05:28,652 --> 00:05:32,390
Oh, equal pay for women in the workforce.
162
00:05:32,390 --> 00:05:33,457
Yeah, we'll get there.
163
00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:35,259
- I'm Millie.
- Sue.
164
00:05:35,259 --> 00:05:36,427
Have you got plans today, Sue?
165
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- No.
- No?
166
00:05:37,695 --> 00:05:41,165
167
00:05:41,165 --> 00:05:43,934
(laughing)
168
00:05:43,934 --> 00:05:46,270
No underwear and uncircumcised!
169
00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:47,772
Zip of the day!
170
00:05:47,772 --> 00:05:49,273
Oh, gross!
171
00:05:49,273 --> 00:05:50,408
(inhaling)
172
00:05:50,408 --> 00:05:51,409
173
00:05:51,409 --> 00:05:54,612
I'm sensing...
174
00:05:54,612 --> 00:05:57,214
wax.
175
00:05:57,214 --> 00:06:00,551
Did your daughter ever use crayons?
176
00:06:02,353 --> 00:06:03,387
Almost every day
177
00:06:03,387 --> 00:06:05,556
when she was in kindergarten.
178
00:06:05,556 --> 00:06:09,556
Is Sarah here with us now?
179
00:06:10,561 --> 00:06:12,696
Yes, she is.
180
00:06:12,696 --> 00:06:13,798
181
00:06:13,798 --> 00:06:15,433
She's here with us now.
182
00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:17,368
And Sarah would like
to tell you that she...
183
00:06:17,368 --> 00:06:18,269
I'm sorry.
184
00:06:18,269 --> 00:06:19,970
- We need to cut.
- Why?
185
00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:21,872
Something's interfering
with the microphones.
186
00:06:21,872 --> 00:06:23,307
Well, fix it.
187
00:06:23,307 --> 00:06:24,542
I double checked the transmitters,
188
00:06:24,542 --> 00:06:25,643
I replaced the batteries...
189
00:06:25,643 --> 00:06:27,511
even unplugged the fridge.
190
00:06:27,511 --> 00:06:29,580
It isn't electrical interference.
191
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:33,484
I'm sorry, Ms. White. I checked everything.
192
00:06:33,484 --> 00:06:34,685
Check again.
193
00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:35,920
(sighs)
194
00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:40,191
195
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:41,459
Moonshine
196
00:06:41,459 --> 00:06:42,693
Dollar sign
197
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:43,928
From behind?
198
00:06:43,928 --> 00:06:45,796
Do you mind?
199
00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:47,932
- You can see me?
- Yeah, I can.
200
00:06:47,932 --> 00:06:49,934
But it's... it's actually
the, uh, the hearing
201
00:06:49,934 --> 00:06:51,435
that is the real issue.
202
00:06:51,435 --> 00:06:52,736
Get the hell out of my room.
203
00:06:52,736 --> 00:06:54,472
I... I got an idea.
Why don't we both leave?
204
00:06:54,472 --> 00:06:55,473
Because they're kinda shooting
205
00:06:55,473 --> 00:06:57,208
a little TV show downstairs
206
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,742
in your living room, and, uh,
207
00:06:58,742 --> 00:07:00,244
your ghost energy or whatever
208
00:07:00,244 --> 00:07:01,979
is sort of messing with
the sound equipment.
209
00:07:01,979 --> 00:07:04,248
Oh, okay, sure.
210
00:07:04,248 --> 00:07:05,749
I'll just leave my own room
211
00:07:05,749 --> 00:07:07,651
so that my parents can do their thing.
212
00:07:07,721 --> 00:07:09,423
Yeah! That's gr... Thank you.
213
00:07:09,423 --> 00:07:10,424
I thought for a minute you were gonna
214
00:07:10,424 --> 00:07:11,492
give me a hard time.
215
00:07:11,492 --> 00:07:13,494
- Fuck that.
- Whoa.
216
00:07:13,494 --> 00:07:15,296
I'm not goin' anywhere.
217
00:07:15,296 --> 00:07:16,430
That is quite the mouth...
218
00:07:16,430 --> 00:07:18,399
Did we, uh, manage to locate
219
00:07:18,399 --> 00:07:20,634
the issue and shut it up?
220
00:07:20,634 --> 00:07:22,002
Who's this basic bitch?
221
00:07:22,002 --> 00:07:23,504
Yeah, I'm... I'm working on it.
222
00:07:23,504 --> 00:07:24,939
Ask her if she knows the name of a song
223
00:07:24,939 --> 00:07:27,408
that goes something like this:
224
00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:28,542
In the butt
225
00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:30,878
In the butt
226
00:07:30,878 --> 00:07:32,580
Yeah, I'm not asking her that.
227
00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:34,315
The interference is worse in here.
228
00:07:34,315 --> 00:07:35,683
I don't know what to tell you, Ms. White.
229
00:07:35,683 --> 00:07:39,420
The sound is unusable.
230
00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:40,754
We've all got a lot
231
00:07:40,754 --> 00:07:43,357
riding on this show working.
232
00:07:43,357 --> 00:07:45,626
I'd pursue the problem
233
00:07:45,626 --> 00:07:48,696
like your loved ones depended on it.
234
00:07:48,696 --> 00:07:50,431
Uh, excuse me.
235
00:07:50,431 --> 00:07:52,499
Did you just threaten my wife and kids?
236
00:07:52,499 --> 00:07:53,367
Oh, is my mic on?
237
00:07:53,367 --> 00:07:55,035
No, sorry.
238
00:07:55,035 --> 00:07:56,604
- Well, guess what?
- Mm-hm?
239
00:07:56,604 --> 00:08:00,874
I don't have a wife and kid, so...
240
00:08:00,874 --> 00:08:02,409
(sighs)
241
00:08:02,409 --> 00:08:04,411
Oh, right, Sue.
242
00:08:04,411 --> 00:08:05,946
Shit.
243
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:14,272
244
00:08:15,878 --> 00:08:17,913
What's the issue now?
245
00:08:17,913 --> 00:08:19,548
- You're not gonna like this.
- Mm-hm.
246
00:08:19,548 --> 00:08:21,684
This Sarah girl is kind of a bitch.
247
00:08:21,684 --> 00:08:23,219
Major unresolved issues with her mom
248
00:08:23,219 --> 00:08:24,420
and dad, okay, so if we're going to
249
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,721
sort out her unfinished business,
250
00:08:25,721 --> 00:08:27,189
we need to sit down with the parents,
251
00:08:27,189 --> 00:08:29,458
drown ourselves in Fig
Newtons, obviously...
252
00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:31,327
We don't have time for that!
253
00:08:31,327 --> 00:08:32,628
Okay, well, then how
am I supposed to get her
254
00:08:32,628 --> 00:08:33,562
to go into her light?
255
00:08:33,562 --> 00:08:35,731
I don't care if she goes off into the light
256
00:08:35,731 --> 00:08:37,099
or into the red wrath
257
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,767
of the devil's asshole.
258
00:08:38,767 --> 00:08:41,103
Just get her out of here now!
259
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:42,438
All right. Fine.
260
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:44,406
How do you get a teenager
out of their room?
261
00:08:44,406 --> 00:08:46,175
I don't know, bribe her?
262
00:08:46,175 --> 00:08:47,376
What do teenagers like?
263
00:08:47,376 --> 00:08:48,444
I don't know. Jerking off
264
00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:49,612
in the handicap bathroom?
265
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,880
Drugs. Start there.
266
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,648
No. Ghosts can't do drugs.
267
00:08:52,648 --> 00:08:54,150
- Really?
- Yeah.
268
00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:55,718
A fate worse than death.
269
00:08:55,718 --> 00:08:58,687
I'll say.
270
00:08:58,687 --> 00:09:01,767
271
00:09:02,886 --> 00:09:04,855
Are you smoking weed in my room?
272
00:09:04,855 --> 00:09:06,156
Yeah.
273
00:09:06,156 --> 00:09:09,727
It's a new strain called Blue Ivy Carter.
274
00:09:10,427 --> 00:09:12,929
It's like hotboxing Beyonc?'s vagina.
275
00:09:12,929 --> 00:09:13,463
(sighs)
276
00:09:13,463 --> 00:09:15,232
I miss weed.
277
00:09:15,232 --> 00:09:16,233
Oh yeah?
278
00:09:16,233 --> 00:09:17,367
How long has it been?
279
00:09:17,367 --> 00:09:18,902
Since I was alive.
280
00:09:18,902 --> 00:09:20,537
Ghosts can't smoke weed, stupid.
281
00:09:20,537 --> 00:09:23,139
Mm, yeah, sure they can.
282
00:09:23,139 --> 00:09:25,442
Just depends on the strain.
283
00:09:25,442 --> 00:09:28,111
You know, my best friend
is a black drug dealer.
284
00:09:28,111 --> 00:09:30,380
He could probably hook you up.
285
00:09:30,380 --> 00:09:31,848
Maybe.
286
00:09:31,848 --> 00:09:33,850
287
00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:36,219
(feedback)
288
00:09:36,219 --> 00:09:40,219
289
00:09:42,359 --> 00:09:44,561
(door closes)
290
00:09:44,561 --> 00:09:46,129
Good?
291
00:09:46,129 --> 00:09:49,099
Okay, great. Let's go, people!
292
00:09:49,099 --> 00:09:50,400
(knocking)
293
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,334
Who is it?
294
00:09:51,334 --> 00:09:52,535
Pac.
295
00:09:54,437 --> 00:09:55,972
- What's up?
- Roofie, you gotta help me.
296
00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:57,340
I'm with the ghost of a teenage girl.
297
00:09:57,340 --> 00:09:58,508
- How old is she?
- What? I don't know.
298
00:09:58,508 --> 00:09:59,910
- She looks 15.
- Uh, no.
299
00:09:59,910 --> 00:10:01,278
- I'm not interested.
- What?
300
00:10:01,278 --> 00:10:02,545
- Is she Puerto Rican?
- I don't know.
301
00:10:02,545 --> 00:10:04,147
What's the ass on the situation?
302
00:10:04,147 --> 00:10:05,482
I don't know what the ass situation is.
303
00:10:05,482 --> 00:10:07,117
Listen, she was messing
with Camomile's set,
304
00:10:07,117 --> 00:10:08,385
and I had to bribe her
to get her out of there.
305
00:10:08,385 --> 00:10:09,452
I told her that you had,
like, a strain of weed
306
00:10:09,452 --> 00:10:10,887
that could get ghosts high.
307
00:10:10,887 --> 00:10:12,122
Pac, I thought you was done lying?
308
00:10:12,122 --> 00:10:13,290
I am! I didn't... you know,
309
00:10:13,290 --> 00:10:14,257
I'm not gonna go cold turkey.
310
00:10:14,257 --> 00:10:15,091
I have to, like,
311
00:10:15,091 --> 00:10:16,059
wiener myself off.
312
00:10:16,059 --> 00:10:17,060
So how the hell am I
313
00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:18,128
supposed to help with this?
314
00:10:18,128 --> 00:10:18,995
Hey!
315
00:10:18,995 --> 00:10:19,930
Is there a problem?
316
00:10:19,930 --> 00:10:21,331
What? No! No, no.
317
00:10:21,331 --> 00:10:22,899
Good. We're super good.
318
00:10:22,899 --> 00:10:25,035
You just chill. I'm screwed.
319
00:10:25,035 --> 00:10:27,203
So, what, you told her
that ghosts can get high,
320
00:10:27,203 --> 00:10:28,405
and she believed you?
321
00:10:28,405 --> 00:10:29,873
- Yeah.
- Oh, I can work with that!
322
00:10:29,873 --> 00:10:30,507
- You can?
- Yeah, yeah.
323
00:10:30,507 --> 00:10:31,841
Come on in.
324
00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:34,077
- Just one second.
- Come on.
325
00:10:34,077 --> 00:10:35,178
Have I ever told you about
326
00:10:35,178 --> 00:10:36,279
the first drug I've ever sold?
327
00:10:36,279 --> 00:10:37,580
No, I don't think so.
328
00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:39,215
Look, in 7th grade I made a killin'
329
00:10:39,215 --> 00:10:40,450
off oregano.
330
00:10:40,450 --> 00:10:42,385
You can get high smoking oregano?
331
00:10:42,385 --> 00:10:43,553
Nah, man!
332
00:10:43,553 --> 00:10:44,788
But those stupid ass kids
333
00:10:44,788 --> 00:10:45,488
believed that they were high.
334
00:10:45,488 --> 00:10:46,790
Ohhh, oh.
335
00:10:46,790 --> 00:10:47,557
Paid for the platinum rims
336
00:10:47,557 --> 00:10:49,125
on my ten-speed.
337
00:10:49,125 --> 00:10:51,161
And this dead plant
338
00:10:51,161 --> 00:10:52,429
is the answer to all your problems.
339
00:10:52,429 --> 00:10:53,863
Oh, hells yeah.
340
00:10:53,863 --> 00:10:55,532
I love it, Roof. Okay.
341
00:10:55,532 --> 00:10:56,933
But then right after we
should probably figure out
342
00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:58,868
the whole Sarah thing.
343
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:01,004
What strain of weed is that?
344
00:11:01,004 --> 00:11:03,173
Dead dog shit?
345
00:11:03,173 --> 00:11:04,274
Um, she would like to know
346
00:11:04,274 --> 00:11:05,842
more about the product.
347
00:11:05,842 --> 00:11:07,877
Oh! No problem.
348
00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:10,880
This plant died before
its leaves was fully grown,
349
00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,615
which is not much of a smoking experience
350
00:11:12,615 --> 00:11:14,584
for the average cannabis consumer.
351
00:11:14,584 --> 00:11:17,053
But if you're dead, and there's
352
00:11:17,053 --> 00:11:19,255
a dead plant... check this out.
353
00:11:19,255 --> 00:11:20,991
You take a piece, light these
354
00:11:20,991 --> 00:11:22,392
two dead leaves on fire...
355
00:11:22,392 --> 00:11:23,159
Observe.
356
00:11:23,159 --> 00:11:24,361
Mm-hm.
357
00:11:28,064 --> 00:11:32,168
There's dough for getting ghosts blazed.
358
00:11:32,168 --> 00:11:33,937
I call it my "Frowny Face."
359
00:11:33,937 --> 00:11:35,839
Yeah!
360
00:11:35,839 --> 00:11:37,107
Is she feeling it?
361
00:11:37,107 --> 00:11:38,508
Oh, she's feeling it all right.
362
00:11:38,508 --> 00:11:40,110
- Look at her!
- I can't see her.
363
00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,378
She's blazed!
364
00:11:41,378 --> 00:11:42,846
Oh yeah!
365
00:11:42,846 --> 00:11:44,314
Ghosts just wanna have fun!
366
00:11:44,314 --> 00:11:46,116
- Yes, they do!
- Yeah!
367
00:11:46,116 --> 00:11:47,183
All right, come on, let's get
368
00:11:47,183 --> 00:11:48,818
this party train rolling.
369
00:11:48,818 --> 00:11:52,818
370
00:11:55,959 --> 00:11:57,394
(laughing)
371
00:11:57,394 --> 00:11:59,963
Come home in the mornin' light
372
00:11:59,963 --> 00:12:01,531
My mother says,
373
00:12:01,531 --> 00:12:04,868
"When you gonna live
your life right?"
374
00:12:04,868 --> 00:12:06,336
Oh mother dear, we're not
375
00:12:06,336 --> 00:12:08,304
the fortunate ones
376
00:12:08,304 --> 00:12:11,975
And girls, they wanna have fun
377
00:12:11,975 --> 00:12:15,975
Oh girls just wanna have fun
378
00:12:16,913 --> 00:12:21,451
379
00:12:21,451 --> 00:12:23,086
(laughing)
380
00:12:23,086 --> 00:12:24,287
The phone rings
381
00:12:24,287 --> 00:12:25,922
in the middle of the night
382
00:12:25,922 --> 00:12:27,357
My father yells,
383
00:12:27,357 --> 00:12:30,593
"What you gonna do with your life?"
384
00:12:30,593 --> 00:12:34,197
(laughing)
385
00:12:34,197 --> 00:12:37,801
But girls, they wanna have fun
386
00:12:37,801 --> 00:12:40,537
Oh, girls just wanna have
387
00:12:40,537 --> 00:12:41,871
That's all we really want
388
00:12:41,871 --> 00:12:44,541
(laughing)
389
00:12:44,541 --> 00:12:48,144
Some fun
390
00:12:48,144 --> 00:12:51,514
When the workin' day is done
391
00:12:51,514 --> 00:12:52,982
Oh, girls they wanna have fun
392
00:12:52,982 --> 00:12:55,351
Oh, come on.
393
00:12:55,351 --> 00:12:58,188
Oh, girls just wanna have fun
394
00:12:58,188 --> 00:13:01,024
Girls, they wanna
395
00:13:01,024 --> 00:13:05,028
Wanna have fun, girls
396
00:13:05,028 --> 00:13:06,396
Wanna have
397
00:13:06,396 --> 00:13:10,333
They just wanna, they just wanna
398
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:13,870
They just wanna, they just wanna
399
00:13:13,870 --> 00:13:15,939
Girls
400
00:13:15,939 --> 00:13:17,841
Uh, this is a bit of a stupid question,
401
00:13:17,841 --> 00:13:20,443
but when they say
402
00:13:20,443 --> 00:13:22,011
"No experience necessary,"
403
00:13:22,011 --> 00:13:24,581
do they mean that it's, like,
404
00:13:24,581 --> 00:13:27,283
necessary for me to have no experience?
405
00:13:27,283 --> 00:13:29,119
Or is it just, like, unnecessary
406
00:13:29,119 --> 00:13:32,255
if I already happen to have experience?
407
00:13:32,255 --> 00:13:34,057
I need ramen.
408
00:13:35,859 --> 00:13:37,060
Huh?
409
00:13:38,228 --> 00:13:40,196
410
00:13:40,196 --> 00:13:42,432
Shit... where's Sarah?
411
00:13:42,432 --> 00:13:45,001
Roofie!
412
00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:47,303
Sarah, are you here still?
413
00:13:47,303 --> 00:13:49,038
Hooker, slut, ho
414
00:13:49,038 --> 00:13:53,309
Catch a camel by the toe
415
00:13:53,309 --> 00:13:55,445
That sound like a song
on the radio right now?
416
00:13:55,445 --> 00:13:56,946
That sounds like every song
417
00:13:56,946 --> 00:13:58,014
on the radio right now.
418
00:13:58,014 --> 00:13:59,349
What... where did you go?
419
00:13:59,349 --> 00:14:01,117
What, do you think you can just disappear
420
00:14:01,117 --> 00:14:02,352
into thin air like that?
421
00:14:02,352 --> 00:14:04,020
Don't do that to me, young lady!
422
00:14:04,020 --> 00:14:05,355
Ew. You sound just like
423
00:14:05,355 --> 00:14:07,123
my dickhead parents.
424
00:14:07,123 --> 00:14:08,558
You know those control freaks
425
00:14:08,558 --> 00:14:10,026
are the reason I'm dead?
426
00:14:10,026 --> 00:14:11,561
- Really?
- Yeah! Yeah.
427
00:14:11,561 --> 00:14:13,196
I died at a party they told me
428
00:14:13,196 --> 00:14:14,464
I couldn't go to.
429
00:14:14,464 --> 00:14:17,300
Okay, and how is that their fault?
430
00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:18,434
I only snuck out 'cause they
431
00:14:18,434 --> 00:14:20,069
told me I couldn't go!
432
00:14:20,069 --> 00:14:21,838
They should have just frickin' trusted me!
433
00:14:21,838 --> 00:14:23,139
Uh, uh...
434
00:14:23,139 --> 00:14:24,240
Oh, my God.
435
00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:25,208
Are you taking their side?
436
00:14:25,208 --> 00:14:26,309
- What? No!
- You know what?
437
00:14:26,309 --> 00:14:27,310
I don't wanna talk about this
438
00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:28,311
with someone so fat.
439
00:14:28,311 --> 00:14:29,479
No, hey, come on.
440
00:14:29,479 --> 00:14:30,380
Listen, I'm not tryin'
441
00:14:30,380 --> 00:14:31,447
to control you, okay?
442
00:14:31,447 --> 00:14:32,515
I could care less where
443
00:14:32,515 --> 00:14:34,317
you go or what you do.
444
00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:36,019
Except... you weren't... you weren't
445
00:14:36,019 --> 00:14:38,087
at home just now, right?
446
00:14:38,087 --> 00:14:40,089
I was handing out flyers for my party.
447
00:14:41,391 --> 00:14:43,059
Oh, good. Okay. Great.
448
00:14:43,059 --> 00:14:44,460
Wait... wait, what?
449
00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:46,162
I need to share this frowny face weed
450
00:14:46,162 --> 00:14:48,565
with, like, every ghost I know.
451
00:14:48,565 --> 00:14:50,366
Uhh, tonight?
452
00:14:50,366 --> 00:14:51,434
I can't wait to see the look
453
00:14:51,434 --> 00:14:52,902
on my dumb dad's face
454
00:14:52,902 --> 00:14:55,138
when I hotbox the entire apartment.
455
00:14:55,138 --> 00:14:56,239
Yeah, how many of those flyers
456
00:14:56,239 --> 00:14:57,307
did you hand out, exactly?
457
00:14:57,307 --> 00:14:59,042
- Like 50.
- Fifty?
458
00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:00,343
I should head home and start getting ready.
459
00:15:00,343 --> 00:15:01,477
No, you can't! No, you can't...
460
00:15:01,477 --> 00:15:02,512
you can't head home.
461
00:15:02,512 --> 00:15:03,580
Why not?
462
00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:05,181
Because that's...
463
00:15:05,181 --> 00:15:07,350
nowhere near enough flyers. What are you...
464
00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:08,851
do you want this party
to be a piece of shit,
465
00:15:08,851 --> 00:15:10,086
or do you want it to be good?
466
00:15:10,086 --> 00:15:11,187
All right? You should hand out,
467
00:15:11,187 --> 00:15:13,523
like, 500 flyers.
468
00:15:13,523 --> 00:15:14,891
Make it a thousand.
469
00:15:14,891 --> 00:15:16,559
Shut up!
470
00:15:16,559 --> 00:15:18,061
You're right.
471
00:15:18,061 --> 00:15:21,164
- Let's fucking trash the place!
- Yeah.
472
00:15:21,164 --> 00:15:22,932
Maybe you're not as fat as I thought.
473
00:15:22,932 --> 00:15:24,200
Cool.
474
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,868
(giggles)
475
00:15:25,868 --> 00:15:27,070
Whoa.
476
00:15:27,070 --> 00:15:28,438
What's this?
477
00:15:28,438 --> 00:15:30,406
It's a huge problem.
478
00:15:30,406 --> 00:15:34,406
479
00:15:35,211 --> 00:15:37,981
(laughing)
480
00:15:37,981 --> 00:15:41,317
Oh my God, that is, like,
the most fun I've had
481
00:15:41,317 --> 00:15:43,353
in my entire death.
482
00:15:43,353 --> 00:15:45,154
What are you, a lightweight? It's early.
483
00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:46,522
This shit only gets better at night.
484
00:15:46,522 --> 00:15:48,825
Oh. I should probably head home.
485
00:15:48,825 --> 00:15:50,193
There's someone I need to see.
486
00:15:50,193 --> 00:15:52,428
Oh? Like a boyfriend?
487
00:15:52,428 --> 00:15:54,330
I don't know what he is right now.
488
00:15:54,330 --> 00:15:56,366
We kind of had a weird morning.
489
00:15:56,366 --> 00:15:58,101
I want to be there when
he gets home from work
490
00:15:58,101 --> 00:15:59,869
so we can talk about it.
491
00:15:59,869 --> 00:16:02,872
You know, when I died in that factory fire,
492
00:16:02,872 --> 00:16:06,442
with 123 other women, I realized something.
493
00:16:06,442 --> 00:16:08,144
Men are fucking stupid!
494
00:16:08,144 --> 00:16:10,446
Who locks the factory
door from the outside?
495
00:16:10,446 --> 00:16:13,283
My boss was a huge, inconsiderate prick.
496
00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:14,784
Kevin's not like that.
497
00:16:14,784 --> 00:16:17,287
The point is, you can't let any man
498
00:16:17,287 --> 00:16:19,789
have that kind of power over you, Sue!
499
00:16:19,789 --> 00:16:21,457
I'm sure Kevin is a fine guy.
500
00:16:21,457 --> 00:16:22,825
I just don't want you
501
00:16:22,825 --> 00:16:25,128
to look up one day and realize
502
00:16:25,128 --> 00:16:29,165
"Oh shit, my face is on fire."
503
00:16:29,165 --> 00:16:31,501
You know?
504
00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:33,469
Well, what would you want to do tonight?
505
00:16:33,469 --> 00:16:37,469
506
00:16:42,945 --> 00:16:46,249
507
00:16:46,249 --> 00:16:49,252
Do you think we'll ever land on the sun?
508
00:16:49,252 --> 00:16:51,788
Is that really what you just called me for?
509
00:16:51,788 --> 00:16:53,356
Huh? No. No, sorry. No, no.
510
00:16:53,356 --> 00:16:56,459
We got, uh, big trouble headed your way.
511
00:16:56,459 --> 00:16:58,061
What's the issue now?
512
00:16:58,061 --> 00:16:59,429
Uh, well, Sarah is throwing a party,
513
00:16:59,429 --> 00:17:00,930
and from the look of this flyer,
514
00:17:00,930 --> 00:17:02,298
it's gonna get pretty wild, man.
515
00:17:02,298 --> 00:17:04,901
There's like a stick figure smoking pot
516
00:17:04,901 --> 00:17:06,235
out of a vacuum on it?
517
00:17:06,235 --> 00:17:08,071
Call the party off.
518
00:17:08,071 --> 00:17:09,439
No, no, no, can't do it, man.
519
00:17:09,439 --> 00:17:11,140
This girl doesn't listen to nobody.
520
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:12,842
Plus it's kind of a cockblock move.
521
00:17:12,842 --> 00:17:14,444
They're setting up the last shot now.
522
00:17:14,444 --> 00:17:16,245
All I need to do is get these morons
523
00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:18,281
to cry real live human tears
524
00:17:18,281 --> 00:17:22,051
and we've got reality television gold.
525
00:17:22,051 --> 00:17:26,289
Are you listening to my conversation?
526
00:17:26,289 --> 00:17:28,958
Buy me 30 more minutes,
527
00:17:28,958 --> 00:17:30,026
or it's your ass.
528
00:17:30,026 --> 00:17:31,227
No, I don't know if I have...
529
00:17:31,227 --> 00:17:33,062
Oh, rude!
530
00:17:33,062 --> 00:17:33,896
Ugh!
531
00:17:33,896 --> 00:17:35,064
Hey there, hey!
532
00:17:35,064 --> 00:17:36,232
Okay, haha.
533
00:17:36,232 --> 00:17:38,134
Okay... crazy idea. Hear me out.
534
00:17:38,134 --> 00:17:40,837
How about if we throw this party
535
00:17:40,837 --> 00:17:42,372
not at your house?
536
00:17:42,372 --> 00:17:43,339
(laughs)
537
00:17:43,339 --> 00:17:44,807
No way.
538
00:17:44,807 --> 00:17:46,809
My parents need to suck it.
539
00:17:46,809 --> 00:17:48,544
Why do your parents need to suck it?
540
00:17:48,544 --> 00:17:50,146
I mean, to be honest it sounds like
541
00:17:50,146 --> 00:17:51,914
all they ever did was look out for you.
542
00:17:51,914 --> 00:17:53,182
You don't know shit!
543
00:17:53,182 --> 00:17:54,517
I know plenty of shit, okay?
544
00:17:54,517 --> 00:17:55,818
And I also happen to know that
545
00:17:55,818 --> 00:17:56,919
if you had listened to them,
546
00:17:56,919 --> 00:17:58,087
you'd probably still be alive!
547
00:17:58,087 --> 00:17:59,188
That's not fair!
548
00:17:59,188 --> 00:18:01,424
I wasn't even drinking or smoking.
549
00:18:01,424 --> 00:18:04,160
My death was a random accident!
550
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,028
How was it random?
551
00:18:06,028 --> 00:18:07,330
(sighs)
552
00:18:07,330 --> 00:18:08,831
I was dancing,
553
00:18:08,831 --> 00:18:11,534
and this song started to play.
554
00:18:11,534 --> 00:18:13,102
It was instantly my new jam,
555
00:18:13,102 --> 00:18:15,004
and I wanted to download it to my phone,
556
00:18:15,004 --> 00:18:16,139
but I didn't know the name.
557
00:18:16,139 --> 00:18:17,440
I tried to Shazam it,
558
00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,575
but my cell service kept dropping out.
559
00:18:19,575 --> 00:18:21,411
I quickly ran out to the balcony,
560
00:18:21,411 --> 00:18:24,814
but then I stretched
my arm a little too far
561
00:18:24,814 --> 00:18:28,814
over the railing, and I fell.
562
00:18:29,185 --> 00:18:32,054
That was the last time I
ever held my cell phone.
563
00:18:32,054 --> 00:18:35,158
No more Twitter, no more Instagram.
564
00:18:35,158 --> 00:18:36,292
I'll never even know if
565
00:18:36,292 --> 00:18:37,326
my last Shazam went through.
566
00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:38,461
Do you know what this means?
567
00:18:38,461 --> 00:18:39,962
Yeah, without my cell phone
568
00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:41,264
I don't even know what time it is.
569
00:18:41,264 --> 00:18:43,533
I'm gonna be late to my own party.
570
00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:45,334
Uh, no, no! Sarah wait!
571
00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:46,969
No, it's the song!
572
00:18:46,969 --> 00:18:48,404
It's the song!
573
00:18:48,404 --> 00:18:49,605
Ah.
574
00:18:49,605 --> 00:18:51,574
Taxi, taxi!
575
00:18:51,874 --> 00:18:55,444
576
00:18:55,444 --> 00:18:58,114
Okay, concentrate
577
00:18:58,114 --> 00:18:59,215
and breathe.
578
00:18:59,215 --> 00:19:03,486
579
00:19:03,486 --> 00:19:06,589
I need that cell phone.
580
00:19:06,589 --> 00:19:08,557
No fucking way.
581
00:19:08,557 --> 00:19:09,592
Fuck you, man.
582
00:19:09,592 --> 00:19:11,127
Give me the phone.
583
00:19:11,127 --> 00:19:14,296
584
00:19:14,296 --> 00:19:17,299
Just follow my lead. Thank you.
585
00:19:17,299 --> 00:19:19,802
If you want to give me the bracelet.
586
00:19:19,802 --> 00:19:22,404
(feedback)
587
00:19:22,404 --> 00:19:24,206
588
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:24,907
Is Sarah here?
589
00:19:24,907 --> 00:19:26,375
I... i... is she upset?
590
00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:27,810
Uh.
591
00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:28,911
Yeah.
592
00:19:28,911 --> 00:19:30,646
Ye... uh, yes, Sarah is here.
593
00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:32,715
She's just exhausted from all the contact
594
00:19:32,715 --> 00:19:33,816
that we've made today.
595
00:19:33,816 --> 00:19:36,418
So if you have any final
things to say to her,
596
00:19:36,418 --> 00:19:37,253
say them immediately.
597
00:19:37,253 --> 00:19:38,821
Straight away.
598
00:19:38,821 --> 00:19:40,422
Sarah...
599
00:19:40,422 --> 00:19:42,858
If you can hear me,
600
00:19:42,858 --> 00:19:45,361
I just want you to know, honey...
601
00:19:45,361 --> 00:19:48,564
We were never trying to be controlling.
602
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:50,199
I just had a bad feeling
603
00:19:50,199 --> 00:19:52,468
the night of the party.
604
00:19:52,468 --> 00:19:54,503
She was a good daughter
605
00:19:54,503 --> 00:19:56,739
and a good person.
606
00:19:56,739 --> 00:19:58,874
We wanted to trust her...
607
00:19:58,874 --> 00:20:01,477
but...
608
00:20:01,477 --> 00:20:02,378
(gasps)
609
00:20:02,378 --> 00:20:05,548
Trust her...
610
00:20:05,548 --> 00:20:07,817
but?
611
00:20:07,817 --> 00:20:08,884
Trust her butt!
612
00:20:08,884 --> 00:20:10,519
Oh, trust her butt!
613
00:20:10,519 --> 00:20:12,888
Trust her butt, that's the song!
614
00:20:12,888 --> 00:20:14,590
Up the pole, down the pole
615
00:20:14,590 --> 00:20:16,492
Up the pole, down the pole
616
00:20:16,492 --> 00:20:18,194
Astroglide, any hole
617
00:20:18,194 --> 00:20:19,662
I love that dirty slut
618
00:20:19,662 --> 00:20:23,662
That's why I trust her butt
619
00:20:24,300 --> 00:20:25,467
(vibrating)
620
00:20:25,467 --> 00:20:27,603
That is a catchy song.
621
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:31,603
622
00:20:32,842 --> 00:20:34,844
Oh, party's off, dudes.
623
00:20:34,844 --> 00:20:37,479
Some fat security guard just shut it down.
624
00:20:37,479 --> 00:20:39,682
Apparently the host
just went into the light.
625
00:20:39,682 --> 00:20:41,784
- Selfish, I know.
- Oh.
626
00:20:41,784 --> 00:20:42,751
Hey, do you want to go spook
627
00:20:42,751 --> 00:20:44,220
some police horses?
628
00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:46,121
- They go frickin' nuts!
- I'm game.
629
00:20:46,121 --> 00:20:47,456
Oh, and if you can get it to rear up,
630
00:20:47,456 --> 00:20:48,891
it might even break a leg.
631
00:20:48,891 --> 00:20:50,492
But then wouldn't they have to put it down?
632
00:20:50,492 --> 00:20:51,827
Yeah, and then you wind
up with a ghost horse,
633
00:20:51,827 --> 00:20:53,896
and then we get to go horseback riding!
634
00:20:53,896 --> 00:20:56,498
(laughing)
635
00:21:03,873 --> 00:21:07,873
636
00:21:15,362 --> 00:21:17,064
637
00:21:17,064 --> 00:21:18,365
Hey, Sue! Sorry I'm late,
638
00:21:18,365 --> 00:21:20,501
I had an emergency at the newsstand.
639
00:21:20,501 --> 00:21:23,237
I sold a copy of "Booty
Meat" to a minor and...
640
00:21:23,237 --> 00:21:24,705
Woops.
641
00:21:24,705 --> 00:21:27,274
Sue... ?
642
00:21:27,274 --> 00:21:29,276
Sue?
643
00:21:29,276 --> 00:21:30,377
You here?
644
00:21:30,377 --> 00:21:34,148
645
00:21:34,148 --> 00:21:35,216
Okay, I'm gonna take a poop
646
00:21:35,216 --> 00:21:36,684
with the door open now,
647
00:21:36,684 --> 00:21:37,752
so if you got anything to say about it,
648
00:21:37,752 --> 00:21:39,153
speak up!
649
00:21:39,153 --> 00:21:40,554
650
00:21:40,554 --> 00:21:42,156
Okay, bombs away.
651
00:21:42,156 --> 00:21:46,156
652
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:54,401
(splashing)
653
00:21:54,401 --> 00:21:58,401
654
00:22:00,674 --> 00:22:02,376
Up the pole, down the pole
655
00:22:02,376 --> 00:22:04,278
Astroglide, any hole
656
00:22:04,278 --> 00:22:06,046
Up the pole, down the pole
657
00:22:06,046 --> 00:22:07,648
Up the pole, down the pole
658
00:22:07,648 --> 00:22:09,450
Up the pole, down the pole
659
00:22:09,450 --> 00:22:11,218
Astroglide, any hole
660
00:22:11,218 --> 00:22:12,686
I love that dirty slut
661
00:22:12,686 --> 00:22:14,688
That's why I trust her butt
662
00:22:14,688 --> 00:22:16,524
Up the pole, down the pole
663
00:22:16,524 --> 00:22:18,225
Astroglide, any hole
664
00:22:18,225 --> 00:22:19,760
I love that dirty slut
665
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,996
That's why I trust her butt
666
00:22:21,996 --> 00:22:23,531
Up the pole, down the pole
667
00:22:23,531 --> 00:22:25,299
Up the pole, down the pole
668
00:22:25,299 --> 00:22:27,201
Up the pole, down the pole
669
00:22:27,201 --> 00:22:28,936
Astroglide, any hole
670
00:22:28,936 --> 00:22:30,371
I love that dirty slut
671
00:22:30,371 --> 00:22:32,239
That's why I trust her butt
672
00:22:32,289 --> 00:22:36,839
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