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1
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(Mysterious theme playing)
2
00:00:05,545 --> 00:00:08,709
- Roofie: How you persevering?
- Kevin: Oh, my God.
3
00:00:08,719 --> 00:00:11,725
My head feels like a dark, dank cave.
4
00:00:12,058 --> 00:00:14,152
And there's a teeny
tiny construction worker
5
00:00:14,162 --> 00:00:17,008
jackhammering on a never-ending loop.
6
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,230
Okay. What'd you get into last night?
7
00:00:19,240 --> 00:00:23,372
I think I took a road
trip to Mexico with Tinya.
8
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Ate some chicharr?nes, drank some Tequila.
9
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Finished up the night with a donkey show.
10
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- Mexico's about 2,000 miles away.
- Yeah.
11
00:00:30,329 --> 00:00:31,522
And who the hell is Tinya?
12
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,192
(Speaks Spanish)
13
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Can I get you guys anything else?
14
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What? We... we haven't even ordered yet.
15
00:00:37,178 --> 00:00:39,204
Oh, God. Sorry.
16
00:00:39,214 --> 00:00:41,643
- I'm, like, really hungover.
- That's my thing.
17
00:00:41,653 --> 00:00:44,349
No, this is not how I'm going
to spend my Wednesday morning.
18
00:00:44,359 --> 00:00:47,188
You two, y'all need to level out,
19
00:00:47,198 --> 00:00:48,592
because I'm gonna get you
an alcoholic beverage.
20
00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:49,585
I'm gonna have one too.
21
00:00:49,587 --> 00:00:51,270
So I won't be the only
one that not drinking.
22
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Bloody mary, bloody mary, bloody mary.
23
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:56,240
(Groans)
24
00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:58,053
What's with the lights in here?
25
00:01:01,494 --> 00:01:03,254
You gonna ralph, Macchio?
26
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No, I just, uh...
27
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Mary?
28
00:01:07,774 --> 00:01:10,680
Kevin?
29
00:01:12,351 --> 00:01:16,292
(Rock theme playing)
30
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?Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17?
?www.addic7ed.com?
31
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Young Kevin: So, uh, what
exactly is this again?
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Boy: You're supposed to
be able to talk to ghosts.
33
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I'm not supposed to say.
34
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Yeah, right.
35
00:02:00,383 --> 00:02:01,854
We're gonna summon Bloody Mary.
36
00:02:02,187 --> 00:02:03,447
Sounds scary.
37
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,485
She was buried alive a hundred years ago.
38
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If you say her name three times,
39
00:02:07,232 --> 00:02:10,361
she appears in the mirror
and claws your eyes out.
40
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How's that for scary?
41
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That's fine. I'm just happy to be included.
42
00:02:14,179 --> 00:02:16,306
Okay. She only comes out on Halloween,
43
00:02:16,316 --> 00:02:18,120
and it's almost midnight. Ready?
44
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Both: Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary,
45
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Bloody Mary.
46
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(Thunder crashes)
47
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Man, I knew this was nonsense.
48
00:02:35,255 --> 00:02:36,749
Right?
49
00:02:36,759 --> 00:02:38,520
Yeah... yeah.
50
00:02:38,530 --> 00:02:39,832
I'm out of here.
51
00:02:40,166 --> 00:02:41,837
Better not tell anyone I
let you hang out with me,
52
00:02:42,170 --> 00:02:43,707
shit-eater.
53
00:02:46,479 --> 00:02:48,684
You can see me, can't you?
54
00:02:50,855 --> 00:02:52,391
But you're not afraid of me, are you?
55
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How come you won't look me in the eye?
56
00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:00,866
Oh!
57
00:03:00,876 --> 00:03:02,736
Bloody Jes...
58
00:03:02,746 --> 00:03:04,908
bloody Jesus. I'm sorry.
That is so embarrassing.
59
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,854
Something's happening.
60
00:03:07,189 --> 00:03:09,784
Mary: What? I'm becoming a statue.
61
00:03:09,794 --> 00:03:11,455
Oh. Oh, my God, no.
62
00:03:11,465 --> 00:03:13,592
That is completely natural. You're...
63
00:03:13,602 --> 00:03:14,871
you're just having an erection.
64
00:03:16,341 --> 00:03:17,544
Have you never had one before?
65
00:03:18,679 --> 00:03:19,916
Um...
66
00:03:22,253 --> 00:03:23,513
let's...
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00:03:23,523 --> 00:03:25,484
let's have a talk.
68
00:03:25,494 --> 00:03:27,554
Kevin: I can't believe
I'm seeing you right now.
69
00:03:27,564 --> 00:03:29,459
You've come a long way from that little boy
70
00:03:29,469 --> 00:03:30,871
I used to hang out with every Halloween.
71
00:03:31,205 --> 00:03:32,599
Feeling pretty rough
today, I got to be honest.
72
00:03:32,609 --> 00:03:34,535
But thanks, thanks.
73
00:03:34,545 --> 00:03:36,942
Come on. I'm sure the girls are,
like, beating down your door.
74
00:03:36,952 --> 00:03:38,744
You know... I've been...
75
00:03:38,754 --> 00:03:41,750
yeah, I've been sort of dating
this one girl, Camomile.
76
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,956
She's, uh, kind of playing hard to get,
77
00:03:43,966 --> 00:03:45,970
so in turn I've been playing harder to get.
78
00:03:46,303 --> 00:03:47,964
You know, and now we're at
a point where we're both
79
00:03:47,974 --> 00:03:49,934
just a little too hard for each other.
80
00:03:49,944 --> 00:03:51,973
And it's very unclear
whether either one of us
81
00:03:51,983 --> 00:03:53,775
will ever be gotten.
82
00:03:53,785 --> 00:03:56,515
Well, I think you're a catch.
83
00:03:56,525 --> 00:03:57,995
Thanks.
84
00:04:00,868 --> 00:04:03,864
Welcome back to our
spooky Halloween special.
85
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(Audience applauds) I'm here once again
86
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:09,641
with celebrated paranormal
communicator, Camomile White.
87
00:04:09,651 --> 00:04:10,945
It is such a pleasure to have you back.
88
00:04:10,955 --> 00:04:12,582
Thank you, Wesley.
89
00:04:12,592 --> 00:04:14,853
Let's take a call. Caller, are you there?
90
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,823
Girl (Over phone): Hi,
Wesley. Hi, Camomile.
91
00:04:16,833 --> 00:04:19,039
So I was planning on spending Halloween
92
00:04:19,372 --> 00:04:21,032
down at the parade in the village,
93
00:04:21,042 --> 00:04:24,572
but I wasn't sure if it was safe.
94
00:04:24,582 --> 00:04:26,544
I guess my question is, do you foresee
95
00:04:26,554 --> 00:04:29,660
any sort of tragedy?
96
00:04:32,900 --> 00:04:34,561
I see the parade.
97
00:04:34,571 --> 00:04:36,865
Big crowd.
98
00:04:36,875 --> 00:04:38,746
Lots of fun. Lots of...
99
00:04:40,415 --> 00:04:43,045
wait, there's... there's something else.
100
00:04:43,055 --> 00:04:44,714
(Audience murmurs) (Shushing)
101
00:04:44,724 --> 00:04:45,951
No.
102
00:04:45,961 --> 00:04:47,855
It's okay.
103
00:04:47,865 --> 00:04:50,561
It's just dancing.
104
00:04:50,571 --> 00:04:52,965
- Oh!
- Fear not, dear caller.
105
00:04:52,975 --> 00:04:55,738
I predict nothing but fun for you tonight.
106
00:04:55,748 --> 00:04:57,016
(Laughs)
107
00:04:57,351 --> 00:04:58,678
That's fantastic!
108
00:04:58,688 --> 00:05:01,049
Enjoy.
109
00:05:01,059 --> 00:05:03,029
Sorry, just... the reason I ask
110
00:05:03,364 --> 00:05:05,892
is because I'm slightly clairvoyant myself.
111
00:05:05,902 --> 00:05:09,533
And last night I had this terrible vision.
112
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,571
It was in the middle of the parade route,
113
00:05:11,581 --> 00:05:14,052
right around Waverly Place.
114
00:05:14,387 --> 00:05:17,025
People were burning, screaming.
115
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,552
Oh. Um...
116
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(Clears throat)
117
00:05:19,764 --> 00:05:21,067
Miss white, uh...
118
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(Laughs)
119
00:05:22,971 --> 00:05:25,911
Is there any chance that
you could be mistaken?
120
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(Inhaling deeply)
121
00:05:29,385 --> 00:05:30,778
(Shushing)
122
00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:32,814
(Exhaling)
123
00:05:32,824 --> 00:05:36,088
I stand by my earlier prediction.
124
00:05:36,098 --> 00:05:41,032
No one will be set on fire at
this year's Halloween parade.
125
00:05:41,042 --> 00:05:42,468
(Applause)
126
00:05:42,478 --> 00:05:44,506
Camomile White, ladies and gentlemen.
127
00:05:44,516 --> 00:05:45,976
This is why the world loves you.
128
00:05:45,986 --> 00:05:47,812
Camomile: I should set you on fire.
129
00:05:47,822 --> 00:05:49,517
You were supposed to be
monitoring the phone calls.
130
00:05:49,527 --> 00:05:50,986
I don't understand. They loved you.
131
00:05:50,996 --> 00:05:52,790
I just went on national TV
132
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,529
and confidently predicted
that in a New York City parade
133
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that attracts over 50,000 weirdos a year,
134
00:05:57,777 --> 00:05:59,647
nobody was going to be set on fire.
135
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:02,142
What if something happened?
136
00:06:02,152 --> 00:06:04,514
What... what if it's some kind of setup?
137
00:06:04,524 --> 00:06:06,085
Do you know how that would look for me.
138
00:06:06,095 --> 00:06:07,587
For my career?
139
00:06:07,597 --> 00:06:09,124
Boom! Up in flames.
140
00:06:09,134 --> 00:06:11,104
I'm so sorry. What can I do to fix it?
141
00:06:11,438 --> 00:06:14,044
We'll just have to go to the parade,
142
00:06:14,378 --> 00:06:15,570
check out Waverly Place,
143
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make sure nobody gets lit on fire.
144
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,746
But what if someone does get set on fire?
145
00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:22,952
Then we'll just have to extinguish them
146
00:06:22,962 --> 00:06:26,870
before anybody notices what we do.
147
00:06:31,681 --> 00:06:33,709
Kevin: I think she was
hitting on me, Roofie.
148
00:06:33,719 --> 00:06:36,180
- Roofie: What makes you say that?
- Kevin: I don't know.
149
00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:38,851
She kept asking who I was dating
and paying me compliments.
150
00:06:38,861 --> 00:06:40,690
Like, she didn't have to do that.
151
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,125
Wait, where did you meet this bitch anyway?
152
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:44,932
We met randomly in this basement
mirror when I was a kid.
153
00:06:44,942 --> 00:06:47,737
You know, she was so hot. I had
this super-mega crush on her.
154
00:06:47,747 --> 00:06:51,044
Sometimes I'd even have
wet nightmares about her.
155
00:06:51,054 --> 00:06:53,082
But all she ever saw
me as was a little kid.
156
00:06:53,092 --> 00:06:54,584
That's it.
157
00:06:54,594 --> 00:06:56,021
- What?
- It's the babysitter conundrum.
158
00:06:56,031 --> 00:06:57,557
You found a loophole.
159
00:06:57,567 --> 00:06:59,628
What's the babysitter "condrumdrum"?
160
00:06:59,638 --> 00:07:01,632
Look, it's when a boy has
a crush on his babysitter.
161
00:07:01,642 --> 00:07:03,179
But he's too young for her.
162
00:07:03,513 --> 00:07:06,609
When he finally gets old enough
where age doesn't matter to her,
163
00:07:06,619 --> 00:07:07,946
she's too old for him.
164
00:07:07,956 --> 00:07:09,191
But in this case, you know,
165
00:07:09,525 --> 00:07:10,952
bloody Mary's a ghost. She doesn't age.
166
00:07:10,962 --> 00:07:12,690
So you guys caught up.
167
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:14,159
It's like fate, man.
168
00:07:14,169 --> 00:07:15,696
By this point, I'm like a full
169
00:07:15,706 --> 00:07:17,699
presidential term older than her, though.
170
00:07:17,709 --> 00:07:19,002
What are these for, by the way?
171
00:07:19,012 --> 00:07:20,182
You don't need to worry about this.
172
00:07:20,516 --> 00:07:21,708
You need to worry about getting on
173
00:07:21,718 --> 00:07:23,111
that slutty Mary's pa-chank.
174
00:07:23,121 --> 00:07:25,047
- How am I gonna do that?
- You know, I don't know.
175
00:07:25,057 --> 00:07:27,898
Be romantic. Find something
from your past together.
176
00:07:30,068 --> 00:07:32,140
(Upbeat theme playing)
177
00:07:40,723 --> 00:07:42,618
"Herro"?
178
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,222
Ah... oh.
179
00:07:44,232 --> 00:07:45,858
Hi.
180
00:07:45,868 --> 00:07:47,228
"Herro."
181
00:07:47,238 --> 00:07:49,164
Can I help you?
182
00:07:49,174 --> 00:07:51,146
Sister brothers.
183
00:07:52,548 --> 00:07:53,942
Hi, I... I, uh...
184
00:07:53,952 --> 00:07:56,113
I grew up here. I live...
I mean, I was an orphan.
185
00:07:56,123 --> 00:07:57,916
I grew up in the orphanage.
My name is Kevin.
186
00:07:57,926 --> 00:08:00,088
Kevin Pacalioglu.
187
00:08:00,098 --> 00:08:01,991
Oh, shit-eater.
188
00:08:02,001 --> 00:08:03,963
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, what's that?
189
00:08:03,973 --> 00:08:05,165
- Oh.
- (Laughs)
190
00:08:05,175 --> 00:08:06,935
I, uh... I just stopped in
191
00:08:06,945 --> 00:08:09,674
because I wanted to ask you
a question about a mirror.
192
00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:11,979
A really special mirror that
used to be in the basement here.
193
00:08:11,989 --> 00:08:14,150
Uh, a friend of mine really loved it.
194
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:17,190
A friend whose pa-chank I'm
desperately trying to beat up,
195
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,660
- if you will.
- Oh.
196
00:08:18,670 --> 00:08:20,763
I was wondering if I could purchase,
197
00:08:20,773 --> 00:08:23,270
perchance borrow it, off of you.
198
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,006
- Borrow it off of me?
- Yeah, borrow it...
199
00:08:25,016 --> 00:08:26,944
- Where's your English?
- Borrow it...
200
00:08:26,954 --> 00:08:28,222
- from me?
- For you... off of you.
201
00:08:28,557 --> 00:08:30,294
- You want to borrow a mirror?
- Can I borrow the mirror?
202
00:08:30,628 --> 00:08:33,858
You're the one who could
talk to spirits, aren't you?
203
00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:36,095
I'm not really supposed to say.
204
00:08:36,105 --> 00:08:37,866
No. Well, come with me.
205
00:08:37,876 --> 00:08:39,780
There's something I want
you to take a look at.
206
00:08:42,587 --> 00:08:45,014
Oh, wow.
207
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,987
They really spruced up the place, huh?
208
00:08:47,997 --> 00:08:49,991
Did the state step in or something?
209
00:08:50,001 --> 00:08:51,761
All right, Kevin, listen to me.
210
00:08:51,771 --> 00:08:55,269
There have been some incidents recently.
211
00:08:55,279 --> 00:08:56,671
Ah.
212
00:08:56,681 --> 00:08:57,941
Kids getting hurt
213
00:08:57,951 --> 00:08:59,878
in horrible and inexplicable ways.
214
00:08:59,888 --> 00:09:01,716
Now, I can't be sure,
215
00:09:01,726 --> 00:09:05,726
but I believe there's
an evil spirit present.
216
00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:10,100
Now, if you can get rid of this demon,
217
00:09:10,110 --> 00:09:12,839
you can have that mirror for free.
218
00:09:12,849 --> 00:09:14,909
You got yourself a deal, sister.
219
00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:16,780
Good luck, and I'll come back to you later.
220
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:18,794
Okay, thank you, sister brothers.
221
00:09:20,031 --> 00:09:23,103
(Dramatic theme playing)
222
00:09:41,876 --> 00:09:43,269
Whoa.
223
00:09:43,279 --> 00:09:45,006
Let's go play somewhere else.
224
00:09:45,016 --> 00:09:47,855
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not right
under a teeter-totter.
225
00:09:49,024 --> 00:09:51,095
(Bleep) me on a cross.
226
00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:01,670
You're not so bad.
227
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:02,840
Look at you.
228
00:10:02,850 --> 00:10:04,580
Ow! Foot!
229
00:10:05,850 --> 00:10:07,190
(Groans)
230
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,880
All right, listen, you little creep.
231
00:10:08,890 --> 00:10:10,620
Uh, let's get down to unfinished business.
232
00:10:10,630 --> 00:10:12,720
I'm kind of in a rush. (Snarling)
233
00:10:12,730 --> 00:10:14,590
All right, look, I want
to help you. I really do.
234
00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,730
But you have to tell me how, all right?
235
00:10:16,740 --> 00:10:18,100
I'm not a mind-reader. I'm a medium.
236
00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:19,180
(Snarling)
237
00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,980
I get that reaction a lot, actually.
238
00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:23,160
Uh, why don't we start over again.
239
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,920
Here, all right? Here, look at this.
240
00:10:25,930 --> 00:10:27,200
Look at this flower.
241
00:10:27,530 --> 00:10:29,890
(Growls)
242
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,960
And you've ruined it with your mind.
243
00:10:31,970 --> 00:10:33,180
That's lovely.
244
00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,140
What have you found?
245
00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:38,010
Well, uh, I think I found your spirit.
246
00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:41,080
It appears he does have an
evil ghost orphan child,
247
00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:43,090
which is like the worst kind of ghost,
248
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,920
and also the worst kind of child.
249
00:10:44,930 --> 00:10:46,130
She refuses to talk to me,
250
00:10:46,140 --> 00:10:47,730
so I have no idea how to help her.
251
00:10:47,740 --> 00:10:50,170
Well, if you want that special mirror,
252
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:51,770
you have to deal with
that ghost child first.
253
00:10:51,780 --> 00:10:52,970
Please, sister brothers.
254
00:10:52,980 --> 00:10:54,220
I need that mirror by midnight.
255
00:10:54,550 --> 00:10:56,180
Well, then you'd better get back in there.
256
00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:59,790
Get busy. Remember, idle hands
are the devil's playground.
257
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,620
No, this is the devil's playground.
258
00:11:01,630 --> 00:11:02,970
Oh, go on now.
259
00:11:06,110 --> 00:11:07,780
(Inaudible)
260
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:13,750
Okay, so welcome to my apartment.
261
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:14,950
Come on in.
262
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,170
(Speaking indistinctly)
263
00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:18,990
No, Blob. I can't take
you for a float right now.
264
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:21,240
- Why?
- Because I have company.
265
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:22,840
I don't have to explain myself to you.
266
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,940
(Snarling) Guys, guys. Come on.
267
00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:27,710
Hey, that's the last
thing I need right now.
268
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:28,950
Okay?
269
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,000
Stop. Go get in your box.
270
00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:35,240
Okay, so can you tell
me your name at least?
271
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,970
No. Okay. What if I guess your name?
272
00:11:37,980 --> 00:11:39,740
If I guess your name will you nod?
273
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:41,880
You'll nod. Good, great.
274
00:11:41,890 --> 00:11:43,260
I'm just gonna, like, rattle
off a bunch of girl names,
275
00:11:43,590 --> 00:11:45,190
and if I happen to get it, you stop me.
276
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:46,890
All right? So here we go.
277
00:11:46,900 --> 00:11:49,760
Uh, Amber, Rachel, Jen...
278
00:11:49,770 --> 00:11:51,060
What?
279
00:11:51,070 --> 00:11:53,130
What... Rachel?
280
00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:55,310
Uh, Amber?
281
00:11:55,650 --> 00:11:57,280
It was the first one?
282
00:11:57,620 --> 00:11:58,810
I got it on the first shot.
283
00:11:58,820 --> 00:12:00,010
(Laughs)
284
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,220
What are the odds of that?
285
00:12:01,230 --> 00:12:03,160
(Train clanging)
286
00:12:06,070 --> 00:12:08,000
Everything looks good.
287
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:10,240
Boy, is it hot in here or is it just...?
288
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:12,070
Whoa!
289
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,340
What the hell is going on here?
290
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:16,290
You told me to get you the authentic one,
291
00:12:16,590 --> 00:12:18,690
and to just buy the
cheapest one for myself.
292
00:12:18,700 --> 00:12:22,890
This and this worries me.
293
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,900
It's October outside. It's freezing cold.
294
00:12:25,910 --> 00:12:27,700
I can't have my assistant getting sick.
295
00:12:27,710 --> 00:12:30,720
You know what? You're
going to have to wear mine.
296
00:12:34,060 --> 00:12:35,950
See? This is so much better.
297
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,830
I look amazing.
298
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,730
And you still look sexy.
299
00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:41,170
Yeah, actually, I kind of do,
300
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:43,610
just in like a masculine kind of way.
301
00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:48,880
So here's the backstory.
302
00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:51,320
I am a sexy, heroic firefighter,
303
00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:54,230
- and you are a burn victim.
- I don't get it.
304
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:56,230
Wasn't the whole point of a fireman costume
305
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,270
to justify the fire extinguishers?
306
00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:00,070
You know, the ones we'll need
in order to put out any fires
307
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,310
at the parade?
308
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,750
The plan is constantly evolving, Sue.
309
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,150
It's alive. It's fluid.
310
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,150
- Try and keep up, okay?
- (Doorbell rings)
311
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:09,830
Man: Trick or treat.
312
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:12,970
Well, it's about time.
313
00:13:15,650 --> 00:13:16,850
(Snaps fingers)
314
00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:21,980
Miss White, are you sure
it's wise to be on drugs
315
00:13:21,990 --> 00:13:23,400
during this operation?
316
00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:25,990
These are just a little
something to help me focus.
317
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,200
What are you looking at, you little demon?
318
00:13:29,210 --> 00:13:30,340
Out.
319
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:31,870
Now pull the car around.
320
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,140
We don't want to be late.
321
00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:35,720
I love Halloween.
322
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,220
Kevin: Sugar? Hmm.
323
00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:42,870
The finer things, huh?
324
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,330
There we go.
325
00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:47,800
Ooh, uh, how about a scone?
326
00:13:47,810 --> 00:13:51,010
I only got one, but I thought
maybe we could split it.
327
00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:53,360
Let me get my steak knife.
328
00:13:53,690 --> 00:13:54,920
I call her steak knively.
329
00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:56,220
(Laughs)
330
00:13:56,230 --> 00:13:57,420
Uh, I'm just gonna cut it in half.
331
00:13:57,430 --> 00:13:59,960
Oh, it's a little hard. Not stale.
332
00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:01,300
These day-olds are just a little cheaper.
333
00:14:01,310 --> 00:14:03,100
And, uh, they taste the same
334
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,440
if you microwave them for about 15 seconds.
335
00:14:04,450 --> 00:14:06,240
Look, I can't... I can't do this.
336
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:08,380
This is a two-way street, okay?
You got to communicate with me.
337
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,320
I can't help you if you
don't tell me what you want.
338
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:12,390
Come on, man. Help me out here.
339
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,090
I need that mirror
340
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:15,330
so I can impress Bloody Mary.
341
00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:16,960
She only comes out on Halloween,
342
00:14:16,970 --> 00:14:18,970
and sweet baby Lucifer,
Halloween is almost over.
343
00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:20,450
So just tell me.
344
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,390
You want a psychic reading?
345
00:14:25,730 --> 00:14:27,220
No, that's Camomile White.
346
00:14:27,230 --> 00:14:29,500
She is a super-psycho hot b-i-t-c-h
347
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:31,330
that I dated for a while.
348
00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:33,060
And I don't really want
to talk about it anymore.
349
00:14:33,070 --> 00:14:34,430
So why don't you just
mind your own business
350
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,320
and drink your chamomile tea white now.
351
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:40,980
What are you doing?
352
00:14:40,990 --> 00:14:44,050
No. No.
353
00:14:44,060 --> 00:14:45,420
You're my nightmare.
354
00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:48,510
Let me get my cleaning supplies.
355
00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,930
Why did I have to make imaginary black tea?
356
00:14:50,940 --> 00:14:52,340
You're all hopped up and acting crazy.
357
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:55,440
(Imitating spritzing sound)
358
00:14:55,450 --> 00:14:57,530
So... Amber?
359
00:15:00,230 --> 00:15:01,900
Steak knively?
360
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:19,060
What up, Tyson? How we doing tonight?
361
00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,300
(Laughs)
362
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:22,130
(Cell phone rings)
363
00:15:22,140 --> 00:15:23,340
Yo, what up?
364
00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:25,270
Hey, Roofie, it's me, man.
365
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,480
I'm freaking out. I'm in crisis
zone here. I lost my ghost.
366
00:15:27,490 --> 00:15:29,380
And she's an evil little demon baby.
367
00:15:29,390 --> 00:15:32,450
She got steak knively with her,
and she means to do great harm.
368
00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:36,130
Calm down, calm down. Where was
the last place you seen her?
369
00:15:36,140 --> 00:15:38,900
She was here. We were having a
lovely tea party on the floor.
370
00:15:38,910 --> 00:15:40,300
All right, what was she doing?
371
00:15:40,310 --> 00:15:43,910
Uh, she was looking at this magazine here.
372
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,510
Oh, my word.
373
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:49,190
Roofie, where do you think
Camomile White is right now?
374
00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:51,130
Look, how the hell am I supposed
to know where Camomile White is
375
00:15:51,140 --> 00:15:52,560
on Halloween?
376
00:15:52,570 --> 00:15:54,540
Come on, man. That's like asking
377
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,300
where kid rock is on the
4th of July. I don't know.
378
00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:57,540
Pick a Hooters.
379
00:15:57,550 --> 00:15:59,380
(Laughs): I'm serious.
380
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:01,010
- Hey, Roof.
- What up, what up?
381
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:02,450
I think I know
382
00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:04,500
where that Camomile
White bitch is right now.
383
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:07,430
You deep in this, aren't you?
384
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,310
(Upbeat theme playing)
385
00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:17,180
This is absolute madness! It's not working!
386
00:16:17,190 --> 00:16:18,530
Maybe we should split up!
387
00:16:18,860 --> 00:16:20,250
We should split up!
388
00:16:20,260 --> 00:16:22,590
You go that way and I'll go this way.
389
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,970
Keep phone on!
390
00:16:46,990 --> 00:16:48,310
Oh! Hey, hey, hey.
391
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:49,630
Give me this. Give... give me that.
392
00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,630
What is this? What are
you, kidding me with this?
393
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,590
You can't just wander around
decapitating people willy-nilly.
394
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,500
That's not what you do. Bad!
395
00:16:56,510 --> 00:16:58,270
Bad ghost child. (Snarls)
396
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,650
Who taught you how to carry
a sharp knife anyway, huh?
397
00:16:59,980 --> 00:17:01,640
You don't just carry it down like this.
398
00:17:01,650 --> 00:17:03,640
You carry it with the blade
up. That way if you fall,
399
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:05,450
you kill yourself instantly.
400
00:17:05,460 --> 00:17:07,020
Common sense. God.
401
00:17:07,030 --> 00:17:08,250
And since we're getting to know
402
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:09,460
steak knively so well anyway...
403
00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:12,360
flip her upside down.
404
00:17:12,370 --> 00:17:14,200
Lighter-meiser.
405
00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:16,470
You. What the hell are you doing here?
406
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:17,650
(Stammering): Nothing.
407
00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:20,380
Uh, just... oh, my fingertips
are, like, freezing.
408
00:17:20,390 --> 00:17:21,560
Oh, my God.
409
00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:24,050
- It was you.
- What?
410
00:17:24,060 --> 00:17:27,060
I should have known. You
should have known what?
411
00:17:27,070 --> 00:17:29,130
You were going to come to the
parade and set yourself on fire
412
00:17:29,140 --> 00:17:31,370
- just to make me look bad.
- No.
413
00:17:31,380 --> 00:17:34,040
Madam, I assure you I
hatched no such scheme.
414
00:17:34,050 --> 00:17:35,310
Right. I'm phoning the police.
415
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,650
Don't phone the police.
416
00:17:36,660 --> 00:17:39,630
Don't call the cops. It... it was me.
417
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,260
What?
418
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:42,630
I was the caller on the talk show.
419
00:17:42,970 --> 00:17:45,500
I had never been to the
Greenwich Village parade before.
420
00:17:45,510 --> 00:17:47,570
I've always wanted to go, but
you always made me stay home
421
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:50,270
so you could watch me eat candy.
422
00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:53,550
You are going to eat so
much candy right now.
423
00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:57,700
And you're going to swallow all of it.
424
00:17:58,030 --> 00:18:00,360
Oh, my God. I'm so turned on right now.
425
00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,200
Why did you... why did you
just save me like that?
426
00:18:02,210 --> 00:18:03,600
Camomile: Come on, Sue! Right bloody now!
427
00:18:03,610 --> 00:18:05,170
I have to go.
428
00:18:05,180 --> 00:18:06,640
When she starts in with the "bloody's",
429
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,310
I know she's really upset.
430
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,660
No, you don't have to
do everything she says.
431
00:18:09,990 --> 00:18:11,220
Oh...
432
00:18:11,230 --> 00:18:12,620
those two.
433
00:18:12,630 --> 00:18:15,130
You'd think they were bloody married, huh?
434
00:18:15,140 --> 00:18:18,170
Oh, Bloody Mary. Oh, my
God, it's almost midnight.
435
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,670
You fudged me, didn't you,
you little planned fudger.
436
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:21,750
Now I'm going to have to just use
437
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:23,410
whatever stinking mirror is closest.
438
00:18:23,420 --> 00:18:25,560
Ah. Come on.
439
00:18:27,630 --> 00:18:29,730
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary.
440
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:31,290
Kevin?
441
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:32,490
- Hey.
- Hi.
442
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,470
- Hi.
- Are we in a porta potty?
443
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:36,640
Yeah, I know. I wanted to
do something more romantic
444
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:39,380
and find the mirror from the
orphanage where we first met.
445
00:18:39,390 --> 00:18:41,280
Uh, but I didn't have any time.
446
00:18:41,290 --> 00:18:42,550
And I've been thinking a lot
447
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,220
about the babysitter "condrumdrum."
448
00:18:44,230 --> 00:18:46,360
And I think Roofie was right.
449
00:18:46,370 --> 00:18:47,740
We beat this thing. We
can finally be together.
450
00:18:48,070 --> 00:18:49,400
Like bf and gf.
451
00:18:49,410 --> 00:18:51,300
Uh, what?
452
00:18:51,310 --> 00:18:52,770
Well, you know, I haven't
given a ton of thought
453
00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:56,710
to how the physical, uh,
intimate stuff would work.
454
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,480
Okay, Kevin. That's enough.
455
00:18:58,490 --> 00:19:01,120
Um, we can't be together.
456
00:19:01,130 --> 00:19:03,330
We can't... what... what do you mean?
457
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:04,530
Why?
458
00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:05,670
(Exhaling)
459
00:19:06,010 --> 00:19:10,640
I always saw you as like a son.
460
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,450
Oh, my God.
461
00:19:13,460 --> 00:19:16,450
Oh, my God. I'm an idiot.
462
00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:18,630
No, you're not. The thing is,
463
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,290
I always wanted to be a mother.
464
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,810
I could just never have kids of my own.
465
00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:24,370
But then I met you,
466
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,340
and you were this sweet little boy
467
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:27,820
who not only clearly needed a mother,
468
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:30,460
but could also see ghosts.
469
00:19:31,690 --> 00:19:33,220
I thought it was perfect.
470
00:19:33,230 --> 00:19:34,690
Well, the same, Mary, I...
471
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:37,200
I bungled our entire relationship.
472
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:39,780
You were never really good with
picking up the nonverbal cues.
473
00:19:40,110 --> 00:19:42,320
No, not really.
474
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,130
You weren't trying to
kill Camomile, were you?
475
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:55,840
A mother.
476
00:19:57,150 --> 00:19:58,470
All right, come on.
477
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,280
I want to show you something. Come here.
478
00:20:00,290 --> 00:20:01,760
(Door closes)
479
00:20:03,130 --> 00:20:04,720
Uh, Mary?
480
00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:07,260
This is Amber. Amber, this is Mary.
481
00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:08,490
Hi.
482
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,230
Oh, my.
483
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:12,370
That doesn't look very uninfected.
484
00:20:12,380 --> 00:20:14,580
Can I take a look?
485
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:19,760
I think I can help you.
486
00:20:20,100 --> 00:20:21,560
What do you say, Kevin?
487
00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:22,830
Would that be all right?
488
00:20:23,170 --> 00:20:24,430
Yeah.
489
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,270
(Laughs)
490
00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:33,420
(Sighs)
491
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:39,557
(Knock on door)
492
00:20:39,562 --> 00:20:41,240
Someone's in here.
493
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,740
- You want a peanut butter cup?
- No.
494
00:20:48,750 --> 00:20:50,289
I'm going to stick with the corn.
495
00:20:50,290 --> 00:20:52,020
Trying to be at least a
little healthy, you know?
496
00:20:52,030 --> 00:20:53,620
Yeah, that's smart.
497
00:20:53,630 --> 00:20:55,447
How'd that thing work out
with you and Bloody Mary?
498
00:20:55,450 --> 00:20:56,660
Really, really badly.
499
00:20:56,670 --> 00:20:58,779
I completely misread that situation.
500
00:20:58,780 --> 00:21:00,026
That's okay, though. I'm going to go back
501
00:21:00,027 --> 00:21:01,470
to obsessing over Camomile White.
502
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,904
It is one good decision
with you after another.
503
00:21:03,905 --> 00:21:05,719
Yeah, man. You know, and I base my decision
504
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:07,080
on the fact that Camomile White exists
505
00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:08,290
for more than one day out of the year.
506
00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:10,190
So it increases my odds.
507
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,360
Right. Let's... let's... let's hope so.
508
00:21:13,370 --> 00:21:15,440
Yeah. Optimism.
509
00:21:15,780 --> 00:21:17,310
Roofie: You know those
are weed candy corns.
510
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:18,980
Kevin: These are weed candy corns?
511
00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:20,410
(Kevin laughs)
512
00:21:20,420 --> 00:21:22,120
Roofie: Yeah, you're gonna be high.
513
00:21:22,130 --> 00:21:24,969
(Mysterious theme playing)
514
00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:34,970
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515
00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:39,570
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