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1
00:00:01,940 --> 00:00:04,380
'Hello. What's the recommended
alcohol allowance
2
00:00:04,420 --> 00:00:05,940
'for a 12-year-old?'
3
00:00:05,980 --> 00:00:08,740
'I don't think you understand.
She's got a zombie knife.
4
00:00:08,780 --> 00:00:11,180
'We're trapped in the staffroom.'
5
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,100
'My boyfriend says he'll hurt me
6
00:00:13,140 --> 00:00:15,580
'because I won't do anal,
like it is in porn.'
7
00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:18,380
It wasn't blocked when I left
the house, OK?
8
00:00:18,420 --> 00:00:19,860
So you must have...
9
00:00:19,900 --> 00:00:21,740
Help!
10
00:00:21,780 --> 00:00:23,420
I got to go. I'm at work.
11
00:00:23,460 --> 00:00:24,860
Morning, Al.
12
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:27,100
Morning, Martin.
Diary, please. Diary.
13
00:00:27,140 --> 00:00:29,460
And what a beautiful morning
it is too. Yeah.
14
00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:31,700
I woke up, looked out the window
and I thought,
15
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,860
"You don't get many of
those to the pound." Headset.
16
00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:36,340
Headset. Have you changed the door
code again, Martin?
17
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:38,740
Yes, I was a little worried
about security.
18
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:40,100
That's very thoughtful,
19
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:43,180
but we do need to let the people in
who actually work here. Hmm. Desk.
20
00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:46,220
Desk, yes. Just... Yes, desk,
all yours, sir. Thank you.
21
00:00:46,260 --> 00:00:50,260
BANGING ON DOOR
22
00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:53,260
PHONE RINGS
23
00:00:53,300 --> 00:00:57,300
Oh, Caitlin. Morning!
There's a plunger under the sink.
24
00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:01,340
Look, I'll do it when I get home.
OK?
25
00:01:01,380 --> 00:01:02,700
Al!
26
00:01:02,740 --> 00:01:04,300
We need to sort the door code,
27
00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:06,540
and that breaches many
multiple protocols.
28
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:09,100
It's either "many" or "multiple",
not both.
29
00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:10,540
Just answer the phone, Nitin.
30
00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:13,540
I am on a call. Yeah, to your
girlfriend, Al, so sort that out.
31
00:01:13,580 --> 00:01:16,340
Yeah. Just shut the lid,
spray some Febreze around.
32
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:19,060
I'll sort it out later.
Yeah, I love you too.
33
00:01:19,100 --> 00:01:21,340
Nitin, answer the phone!
34
00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:25,380
Where's the temp? We were promised
a temp. Ta-da! It's me again.
35
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:29,340
Yeah, thought. Al, it's Nat,
the temp from last year.
36
00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:32,100
No, not temp now.
We're not called temps any more.
37
00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,300
We're called interim workers,
like sex workers,
38
00:01:34,340 --> 00:01:35,900
but without the intercourse.
39
00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:38,660
Good. Good to know. So, homies,
what's all the bantz?
40
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:41,180
Sorry, what?
The Gossip Goblin is back.
41
00:01:41,220 --> 00:01:45,220
Oh, well, Nitin is still here and
he's still irritating. Who? Nitin.
42
00:01:45,860 --> 00:01:47,500
BANGING ON DOOR
43
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:50,580
Oh, hang on, you're the one who
wears drip-dry trousers.
44
00:01:50,620 --> 00:01:53,940
Morning. You're late,
Rose Denby. Shit, sorry.
45
00:01:53,980 --> 00:01:55,300
PHONE RINGS
46
00:01:55,340 --> 00:01:57,500
Ta-da! It's me again.
It's her again.
47
00:01:57,540 --> 00:02:00,620
Are you the one that couldn't figure
out the phone system?
48
00:02:00,660 --> 00:02:02,180
I don't think so.
49
00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:06,220
Could you answer the phone,
then, please? Yes.
50
00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:09,540
Hello, Children's...
51
00:02:09,580 --> 00:02:11,540
'I want to speak to
a social worker...'
52
00:02:11,580 --> 00:02:12,900
..something.
53
00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:15,500
'It's not fair on the kids...'
Yeah, I got it.
54
00:02:15,540 --> 00:02:19,380
Kids in care of grandmother.
Hungry and dirty.
55
00:02:19,420 --> 00:02:21,820
Sure they're not calling
about your kids?
56
00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:23,540
Yeah, I got that too.
57
00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:27,580
'Right, thank you.' Thanks. Bye.
58
00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:29,620
Can I go back to bed now?
59
00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:32,700
Britain First slagging off the
Muslims next door?
60
00:02:32,740 --> 00:02:35,100
Refreshingly no,
but it's early days yet.
61
00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:37,820
Have we got anything on
a Jones family. Jones?
62
00:02:37,860 --> 00:02:39,580
You might have to marry the brief.
63
00:02:39,620 --> 00:02:41,980
Rhona Jones? 65 Nelson Way?
64
00:02:42,020 --> 00:02:44,700
I'll run a DSC,
database speed check.
65
00:02:44,740 --> 00:02:47,140
How long since they kicked you out
the police force?
66
00:02:47,180 --> 00:02:48,780
Do you still think you're
in The Wire?
67
00:02:48,820 --> 00:02:51,300
FYI, I left the Met to retrain.
It didn't leave me.
68
00:02:51,340 --> 00:02:53,860
Unlike all your girlfriends.
69
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:56,940
'Is that children's services,
is it? Yeah? Well...'
70
00:02:56,980 --> 00:03:00,700
Excuse me. '..and look after my
kids while I'm on holiday, OK?'
71
00:03:00,740 --> 00:03:02,820
BANGING ON DOOR
72
00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:05,060
..You think they might be
unsupervised?
73
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:07,300
BANGING INTENSIFIES
74
00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:09,380
Nitin! Get the door. I'm on a call.
75
00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:11,780
So am I, Al,
and we don't accept walk-ins.
76
00:03:11,820 --> 00:03:14,580
Yes, I know that and you know that,
but whoever is hammering
77
00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:16,900
on the bloody door obviously
doesn't know that.
78
00:03:16,940 --> 00:03:19,180
I am going to call you back
in five minutes.
79
00:03:19,220 --> 00:03:20,900
Where's Nat?
80
00:03:20,940 --> 00:03:22,860
HE WHEEZES
81
00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:25,700
Calum,
how many times have I told you?
82
00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:28,020
Stop doing the bloody
duct tape challenge.
83
00:03:28,060 --> 00:03:31,220
OK, has anybody got an implement
of some sort. Here. Oh! Ingrid!
84
00:03:31,260 --> 00:03:35,180
Are you OK? I'll be fine. I thought
you had an operation today.
85
00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:38,620
That's tomorrow. By lunchtime,
I'll no longer be a woman.
86
00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:40,260
Are you transitioning?
87
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,980
Hysterectomy.
88
00:03:42,020 --> 00:03:43,980
CALUM MUMBLES
89
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:46,620
OK, Calum!
I wish you'd get off YouTube.
90
00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:49,460
Cut it off him. Where? I don't know.
Here, or something.
91
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:53,380
It just keeps ringing and I've got
to type... It will keep ringing.
92
00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:55,780
You just need to press the button
that I told you to press,
93
00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:58,780
and then say, "Children's Services.
How may I direct your call?"
94
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,060
It's very simple.
Then you connect to the person.
95
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:03,460
All the names,
I have written them for you. OK.
96
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,620
Al, Rose, Nitin. Al, Rose, Nitin.
97
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:08,380
No, just say, "Children's Services.
How may I direct your call?"
98
00:04:08,420 --> 00:04:10,660
Children's Services.
How may I direct your call?
99
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:13,420
Press the button with my name.
He's here, actually.
100
00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:16,100
They want to talk to you now.
Connect it to me. Connect it.
101
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:17,500
I can't talk to them at the desk.
102
00:04:17,540 --> 00:04:20,660
I'll put a headset on for privacy.
He's got to put a headset...
103
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:23,700
Just connect it! Sorry.
Just connect it to my name.
104
00:04:23,740 --> 00:04:25,380
Disconnect it?
105
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:27,460
Not that it's any of my biswas,
Rose,
106
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:30,620
but Al's fiancee seems particularly
needy this morning.
107
00:04:30,660 --> 00:04:32,460
Quorn IS vegan. Isn't it?
108
00:04:32,500 --> 00:04:33,940
It is.
109
00:04:33,980 --> 00:04:37,020
I think it serves him right for
punching above his weight.
110
00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:39,460
I took the precaution of marrying
a man who was grateful
111
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:42,740
that a woman would have sex with
him for free.
112
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:46,780
Another espresso, Al? Yeah. Yeah.
113
00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:54,380
Rose, why is Martin still here?
He's signed off sick. So?
114
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:57,980
50% of the workforce are always
off sick. He helps us out.
115
00:04:58,020 --> 00:05:00,500
He shouldn't be here.
Where's he supposed to go?
116
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:02,580
I mean, it's not like there's
a luxury spa
117
00:05:02,620 --> 00:05:05,820
for stressed social workers. Do HR
know that he's still coming in?
118
00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:08,780
What are you complaining about?
You just ordered a cappuccino.
119
00:05:08,820 --> 00:05:10,820
No, I didn't, Rose. Was it a latte?
120
00:05:10,860 --> 00:05:13,220
Sorry to interrupt the
coffee morning.
121
00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:17,260
Nite-in, could I see you in my
office, please? Yes, Denise. Ma'am.
122
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:21,420
Nite-in, I'm not actually the
Queen, but if you insist,
123
00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:23,380
it's "ma'am" as in "ham".
124
00:05:23,420 --> 00:05:25,100
Right you are, ma'am.
125
00:05:25,140 --> 00:05:27,100
And it's Nitin, not Nite-in.
126
00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:28,900
Don't take the piss.
127
00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:30,940
What are you doing tonight, Rose?
128
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:33,380
Are you having a night out
or a Nite-in?
129
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,220
A Nite-in, I thought. You?
130
00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:37,020
Yeah, OK, that's borderline racist
131
00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:39,940
so I might just tell your superior
during our meeting.
132
00:05:39,980 --> 00:05:42,260
Are you a little bit nervous?
133
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:45,220
Ooh, what's the
headmistress going to do?
134
00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:47,900
Is she going to give you
a spanky-spanky? Ssh!
135
00:05:47,940 --> 00:05:49,780
I need to go to the toilet.
136
00:05:49,820 --> 00:05:53,820
Can you tell her if she comes
out looking for me, please?
137
00:06:06,140 --> 00:06:09,900
Hi. Hiya. We can really let anyone
in without permission.
138
00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:11,660
I was going to call,
139
00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:14,900
but some idiot kept cocking it up
and putting me on to Elderly Care.
140
00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:16,940
Is Al here? Al? Remind me.
141
00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:20,500
He's got twinkly eyes
and a sort of lovely smile?
142
00:06:20,540 --> 00:06:23,460
Hello, anyone called
Al in this office? Apart from me(?)
143
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:26,060
Hiya. Twinkly eyes, lovely smile?
144
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,700
How are you? I'm fine.
And you're back here because...
145
00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:31,100
I was passing through the area.
Really?
146
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:33,340
Now, I'm going to take this
in the meeting room.
147
00:06:33,380 --> 00:06:37,380
In future, only authorised personnel
in the inner office.
148
00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:42,460
HE EXHALES
149
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:46,500
Oh, it should be computerised.
Jones, Jones...
150
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:49,540
Oh, Jesus!
151
00:06:49,580 --> 00:06:52,980
I'm looking for anything to do
with Rhona Jones.
152
00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:55,660
I'm convinced we had
dealings way back.
153
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:57,860
It's really starting to bug me.
154
00:06:57,900 --> 00:06:59,900
She wasn't that chemistry teacher
155
00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:02,260
who was getting the kids to
make LSD, was she?
156
00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:05,220
No, that was Mona. Oh!
And it was ecstasy.
157
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:08,460
Well, at least it felt more like
ecstasy to me.
158
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:12,500
Rose? Martin, last time I had
Class A, I ended up married to Lee.
159
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:18,020
Come.
160
00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:22,060
Sit down.
161
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:25,140
I am tasked with creating
streamlined cluster teams.
162
00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:28,020
Ideally, I'd ask your superior,
Ingrid, to do this
163
00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,180
but, as we all know, she's having
a procedure, thank Christ.
164
00:07:31,220 --> 00:07:33,820
I couldn't stand another day of
the mooncalf face
165
00:07:33,860 --> 00:07:37,860
and hysterectomy stoop. Got it.
166
00:07:40,980 --> 00:07:44,980
Martin, you look extremely hot.
167
00:07:46,860 --> 00:07:48,900
Thank you.
168
00:07:48,940 --> 00:07:50,380
Oh...
169
00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:54,420
No, I had to... I ran up the stairs
because the toilet...
170
00:07:54,460 --> 00:07:57,900
Poor timekeepers, clients on lists
of cases that are closed,
171
00:07:57,940 --> 00:08:01,380
slow responses will not be
tolerated. Music to my ears.
172
00:08:01,420 --> 00:08:03,900
Observe your colleagues and
write me a report.
173
00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:07,140
Who's value for money and,
more crucially, who isn't.
174
00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:10,540
And don't let personal allegiances
and friendships get in the way.
175
00:08:10,580 --> 00:08:14,580
Trust me, I won't. I don't have any.
176
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:18,580
Anne-Marie, we closed your case
months ago. Why are you here?
177
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:22,420
Is Charlie OK? Oh,
he's not called Charlie any more.
178
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:26,460
I thought it might have negative
associations when he's older.
179
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:29,100
So, what's he called, then? Al.
180
00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:32,260
Oh, I didn't name him after you.
181
00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:34,820
Short for...Little Alfie.
182
00:08:34,860 --> 00:08:38,860
Is there anything specific that
you wanted? Oh, yeah.
183
00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:44,460
I... Al Jr, he wanted to invite you
to his birthday party.
184
00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:50,420
Anne-Marie, I was your social
worker. I'm not his father.
185
00:08:50,740 --> 00:08:53,300
Oh, no, no, no.
He doesn't think you are.
186
00:08:53,340 --> 00:08:54,500
PHONE RINGS
187
00:08:54,540 --> 00:08:56,580
You see him twice as much as
he sees his real father.
188
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:59,380
Sorry.
It'd break his heart if you don't.
189
00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:01,540
Take the call, walk away,
don't mind me(!)
190
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:03,540
No, no, no, no, it's just a client.
191
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:06,780
It's an ex-client, actually.
It's nothing important.
192
00:09:06,820 --> 00:09:08,820
Oh, fucking thanks. What?
193
00:09:08,860 --> 00:09:11,460
You've been on my computer? Cait?
194
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:14,380
Look,
if this is about my search history,
195
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,260
I can completely explain that...
196
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,940
I haven't defriended you. I don't
know what you're talking about.
197
00:09:18,980 --> 00:09:21,100
(I'm just going to go for a smoke.)
198
00:09:21,140 --> 00:09:22,620
Cait? Cait!
199
00:09:22,660 --> 00:09:24,500
Cait!
200
00:09:24,540 --> 00:09:26,660
Someone must've hacked my account.
201
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:30,100
Look, I'll call you back.
202
00:09:30,140 --> 00:09:34,140
Oh, shit.
203
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:42,540
That's been in there a couple of
weeks, actually. I wouldn't eat it.
204
00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:45,060
Yum.
205
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:46,900
INGRID SIGHS
206
00:09:46,940 --> 00:09:49,380
All right, Ing? Oh, yes, all good.
207
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:53,420
I'm just wondering what it's going
to be like, being womb-less.
208
00:09:54,900 --> 00:09:58,300
Come along, Ingrid. It's not just
the lady-pipes that makes the woman.
209
00:09:58,340 --> 00:10:02,340
It's personality.
210
00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:04,660
Here she is,
the phantom of the fridge.
211
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,900
What the fuck are you doing here,
Lee?
212
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:10,460
And why are you dressed like
a children's TV presenter from 1986?
213
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:14,500
And a very good morning to you too,
Rosie.
214
00:10:15,460 --> 00:10:17,060
I need to talk to you. Ouch!
215
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:20,780
Ow. Bollocks!
216
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,500
How did you even do this?
217
00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:25,020
I guessed your password and I've
got an app.
218
00:10:25,060 --> 00:10:28,460
You have to take this down. Have you
got an app for that? Oh, chill out.
219
00:10:28,500 --> 00:10:31,460
Calm down. It hasn't been up that
long. I was just having a laugh.
220
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:34,180
It's not funny. OK?
I could lose my job.
221
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:36,180
My fiance thinks it's hilarious(!)
222
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,780
Fiancee? That old wagon?
223
00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:39,820
You need someone who
really loves you.
224
00:10:39,860 --> 00:10:43,460
She does love me. She's fiery, OK?
She comes from a fiery family.
225
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:47,220
Yeah, so do I. My brother's
doing 12 months for arson.
226
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:49,340
I'm joking, I'm joking.
227
00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:52,020
He wasn't convicted.
They never found him.
228
00:10:52,060 --> 00:10:54,260
I never know when you're being
serious or not.
229
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:56,060
Just get it off this, OK?
230
00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:58,660
Get it off the Facebook,
get it out of the Cloud,
231
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:01,420
get it off of the world wide
whatever the fuck it is.
232
00:11:01,460 --> 00:11:03,020
Make it go away.
233
00:11:03,060 --> 00:11:06,700
Done. Really? Is that it? Yeah.
234
00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:09,860
OK, thank you. You can't come round
here any more. What?
235
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:12,980
It's not a drop-in centre.
Your case is closed. OK?
236
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:16,780
You no longer meet the needs
thresholds.
237
00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:20,820
But there's loads of things I still
need. What? Like car insurance.
238
00:11:21,900 --> 00:11:25,380
You've got a car now? No, but only
cos I don't have any insurance.
239
00:11:25,420 --> 00:11:28,340
Look...
240
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,340
You've been through hell, OK?
241
00:11:30,380 --> 00:11:34,380
But you survived,
so you should be proud of yourself.
242
00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:38,340
Oh...
243
00:11:38,380 --> 00:11:42,380
All right, come on.
244
00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,780
You promised you'd have them
for the weekend.
245
00:11:44,820 --> 00:11:47,780
You can't let the kids down again.
Letting you down, more like.
246
00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:50,140
What have you got planned that's
so important?
247
00:11:50,180 --> 00:11:52,860
A night in, cuddling up to
a bottle of ?6 Cava?
248
00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:54,620
Look, I've got to go and help Mum,
OK?
249
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:56,780
A rat has gnawed through
her toilet pipe.
250
00:11:56,820 --> 00:12:00,420
Euphemism? No. She is knee deep
in faecally constituted water.
251
00:12:00,460 --> 00:12:03,420
She can't deal with it. Well, I've
been invited away from the weekend,
252
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:05,220
a house party in the Cotswolds.
253
00:12:05,260 --> 00:12:06,940
Is that why you're dressed
like a knob?
254
00:12:06,980 --> 00:12:10,180
No, it's just a different look. I've
changed. You've met someone,
255
00:12:10,220 --> 00:12:13,820
and you've just come here
deliberately to rub my nose in it!
256
00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:16,980
Rose, you are aware you've got a
management meeting in four minutes?
257
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:20,380
Hello, I am Rose's ex-husband.
We're not technically divorced yet.
258
00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:24,400
Personal visit. You know the rules,
Rose. Fuck off, Nitin.
259
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,880
LIFT CHIMES
Thank you, everyone.
260
00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:33,880
This is PC Harris,
and to my right is Cass,
261
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,320
our team psychologist.
262
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,200
So, if we're quorate,
263
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,560
Alastair, would you like to
bring us up-to-date, please?
264
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,600
Is that Alastair with an A or an I?
265
00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:42,640
Both.
266
00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,240
Aliastiair?
267
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,760
Just put Al.
268
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,120
Shouldn't we all have code numbers
instead?
269
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,240
It's simpler. I've got one already.
270
00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:51,720
PC 237TA.
271
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:52,840
What does the TA stand for?
272
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,960
Total arsehole. No, actually.
273
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,520
TA indicates the borough.
274
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,480
We'll just use personal initials,
Natalie.
275
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,200
Where is RD? R who?
276
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,240
Rose Denby. She's dealing with
a very tricky client.
277
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,640
I thought it was her husband?
278
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:08,800
DOOR OPENS
279
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:12,840
I'm very sorry I'm late, I couldn't
find any info on this Jones family.
280
00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:16,360
Though I trust you sorted the domestic
arrangements with your husband?
281
00:13:16,400 --> 00:13:19,240
You know the rules on bringing
personal issues into the workplace.
282
00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,320
We're having some very bad press on
this matter.
283
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:23,360
I'm very sorry, Denise.
Don't minute that, OK.
284
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,080
I'm still writing down
the badge number.
285
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,560
Sorry, can we move this along a bit?
I need to get away early.
286
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:28,840
Are you going anywhere nice?
287
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,200
Young offenders institution.
288
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:32,880
Attempted suicide. Alastair, can we
get that update, please,
289
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,560
on the family with sibling
sexual...?
290
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,160
Ma'am, should I sit in on this?
291
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:42,200
No. See me after.
292
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:43,480
Did you save me a biscuit?
293
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,280
He's got three chocolate fingers
under his helmet.
294
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,640
That's a clever trick.
295
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:50,440
Rose, let's hear your report
on the Barber twins -
296
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,800
that's if you've had any time
to do any work.
297
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,000
The Barber twins.
298
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,400
What did they do?
299
00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:58,920
They attacked and racially abused a
vulnerable man
300
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,680
and stabbed and set fire
to a pensioner.
301
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:03,280
These teenage lads are animals.
302
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,880
They're ten-year-old girls.
303
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,920
PHONE RINGS
304
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,920
All phones should be off.
PHONE CONTINUES RINGING
305
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:16,960
Turn it off now and your old lady
will know you dropped the call.
306
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,840
RINGING CONTINUES
307
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:23,880
PHONE BEEPS
308
00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:27,560
Now, no pressure to buy any of these
products, Martin.
309
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,400
I just sell them for a mate.
It's a cheeky sideline.
310
00:14:30,440 --> 00:14:33,440
But if you do find something you
like, you get a 15% discount.
311
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,640
Now, let's have a look
at that barnet.
312
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:38,400
Ah-hah. Ever heard of hair putty?
313
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,040
You know, I know all about
hair product, Nat.
314
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,160
Believe it or not,
this was once a choppy mullet.
315
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,560
I used to be a New Romantic.
316
00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,880
And now you're an old romantic.
317
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,680
Well, not so much since the wife
passed away, but...
318
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,600
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, Martin.
319
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:54,760
You need to get yourself
on Match.com.
320
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,600
Oh, no.
321
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,960
I'm like a Titi monkey. Pardon?
322
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,160
We mate for life,
323
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,080
and I've got a big red bottom.
324
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,480
I'm joking. Oh.
PHONE RINGS
325
00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:09,520
Do you want me to get that?
Oh, yes. Yes.
326
00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,000
'Hello...'
327
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,040
Hello. Elm Heath
Children's Services.
328
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:17,600
'Hello, I need to speak to the
board trustee.'
329
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,400
KNOCK AT DOOR
330
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,640
Rhona Jones?
331
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,840
Rose Denby, social services.
332
00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:25,480
May I come in, please?
333
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,640
I don't fucking believe it.
334
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,800
It took a little while
for the penny to drop,
335
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:33,400
but no wonder it rung a bell.
336
00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,880
So you married him, eh?
337
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:39,000
Not content with shagging my
boyfriend behind my back.
338
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,640
He was gagging to get away from you.
339
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,240
You were my friend.
340
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,600
I had nothing. You had it all -
341
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,240
a flat, a job, a gorgeous bloke with
a motorbike.
342
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,000
Yeah, so while I was slogging
my guts out on earlies,
343
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,200
you were in my bed having sex
with him.
344
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,720
Oh, and I'd forgotten this.
345
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,680
You bastards chucked me out!
346
00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:56,880
We gave you the motorbike.
347
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,400
You gave me chlamydia -
I didn't want the fucking motorbike!
348
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,800
It was worth a few grand.
349
00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,120
Good, because I lobbed it
in the canal.
350
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,520
Anyway, you won in the end.
You got Andy.
351
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,560
HE INHALES
352
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,160
Hello, Rose.
353
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,720
Oh, my God.
354
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,240
MACHINE HISSES
355
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,880
PHONE RINGS
That much? Jesus. How much for six?
356
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,560
You can order roses cheap online.
357
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,560
Yeah, maybe when you're not at work.
358
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,360
It has not expired!
359
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:25,560
I just used it in Costcutter!
360
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:26,920
Bollocks!
361
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,800
PHONE BEEPS
Oh...
362
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,200
I could deliver some flowers to
Caitlin if you want?
363
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,120
In fact, they've got a two-for-one
offer at the service station
364
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,440
down the road. Yeah, yeah.
365
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:36,480
That will win her back(!)
366
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,120
A total stranger who looks like
he's stuck his face in a plug socket
367
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:41,720
rocks up on her doorstep with
a bunch of shitty carnations.
368
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:42,840
Perfect(!)
369
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:44,760
Sorry, sorry...
370
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,560
I'm really stressed.
Oh, that's all right, Al.
371
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,640
I know you're hurting.
372
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,000
But, by the way,
I wouldn't have taken carnations.
373
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,080
They smell of sadness and marzipan.
374
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,720
Why do blokes always think a bouquet
will sort all their crap out?
375
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,080
Yeah, I'm proud to say I've never
bought a woman flowers.
376
00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,400
What am I supposed to do?
377
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,480
Caitlin won't even return my calls.
378
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:05,520
With pretty bloody good reason, Al.
379
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,600
That's you, isn't it?
380
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,600
Nan, I'm hungry!
381
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,600
All right, hang on a minute.
382
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:13,640
MACHINE HISSES
383
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,520
TV: 'Are you on e-mail?'
384
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:20,560
MACHINE HISSES
385
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:29,000
HISSING CONTINUES
386
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:35,160
Oi.
387
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,440
HE WHEEZES
So, this is a bit of a surprise.
388
00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:46,320
I'll say. Last time I saw you,
you were balls deep in Rhona.
389
00:17:46,360 --> 00:17:48,760
HE BREATHES HEAVILY
390
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:51,520
You broke my heart, you bastard.
391
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:54,640
It took me ages to get over you.
392
00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:57,040
HE COUGHS
393
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,680
Come and sit in the other room.
Come on, take your tablets.
394
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:04,720
HE GROANS
395
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:08,760
Have you heard of
the code of ethics?
396
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:12,400
Social workers must establish
appropriate boundaries and not abuse
397
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,160
their position for personal benefit,
398
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,280
financial gain or
sexual exploitation.
399
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,920
But... But? I'm looking forward to
seeing where your but's going.
400
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:20,680
But nothing happened!
401
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,560
I'm in a relationship with Caitlin -
why would I risk throwing that away?
402
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,520
You weren't thinking with your head,
you were thinking with your...
403
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,880
Please don't say cock.
404
00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:29,920
We can't take the risk. We?
405
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:31,480
Me and Denise.
406
00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:34,080
All right. Dob us in. Grass us up.
407
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:38,120
But please be aware that, "making
an audiovisual recording of
408
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,200
"a colleague without their written
permission is cause for
409
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:45,240
"serious disciplinary action."
410
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,280
Can I just...? I don't remember
that bit.
411
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,760
Have a Bourbon.
412
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:49,960
I don't want a Bourbon, Al.
413
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,920
Give my regards to Denise while
she's sucking you off.
414
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,960
MACHINE HISSES
415
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,520
Are you going to take the kids
away from us?
416
00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:02,920
What's going on here?
417
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,960
Where's their mum? She's back in
rehab trying to get clean again.
418
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,920
She's a smackhead, Rose -
419
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,640
lies, cheats, steals from us.
420
00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,360
We just couldn't cope any more.
421
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,480
What about the dad?
422
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,200
Overdosed a year ago. Wanker.
423
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,400
He was the one that got her into it.
424
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:21,800
You need some support.
425
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,800
Are the older children
even going to school?
426
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:28,560
Some days, but when Andy's bad,
I can't leave him.
427
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,200
He's really sick.
428
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,840
The problem is, if I plug this
into the system,
429
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,360
then it's out of my hands.
430
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,520
The kids could be taken into care.
431
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:38,600
You must be loving this.
432
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,000
Oh, yeah, obviously I really get
my kicks out of
433
00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:44,480
taking innocent children away
from families(!)
434
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,360
I'll tell you what I'm going to do,
all right?
435
00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:50,400
Is I'm going to try and source you
some alternative assistance, OK?
436
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,320
I don't need no more fucking
helplines and discussion groups.
437
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,040
I need someone to go to Lidl's.
438
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,280
These charities are good.
439
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,840
I want you to ring them
and talk to them, OK?
440
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,360
I'm leaving you these numbers.
441
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,480
If I come back on Monday and you
haven't contacted anyone,
442
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,160
I'm going to show no mercy.
443
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:09,200
These kids cannot carry on
living like this.
444
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,800
All right, now, this one here, OK?
445
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:17,320
Like, a mate of mine runs that,
all right?
446
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:20,840
And they offer practical help,
so make sure he contacts them, OK?
447
00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:23,640
Thank you.
448
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,240
You didn't have to.
No, you're right there.
449
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:30,280
I nearly went next door, sat on his
face and put him out of his misery.
450
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,400
KEYPAD BEEPS
Are you all right?
451
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,560
You look like you've swallowed
a knacker's bumhole.
452
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,560
Cheers.
PHONE RINGS
453
00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:43,280
What's the intel on
the Jones family?
454
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,360
Are they section 17?
Do we need to mobilise?
455
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,160
No, we just need to keep an eye out.
456
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,240
I'm keeping an eye out, Rose...
457
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,560
for your bullshit.
458
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,200
Oh.
459
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,480
PHONE RINGS
460
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:55,680
Hello?
461
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,880
Nitin's on the warpath.
462
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,600
I think I managed to shut him down
with my superior knowledge of
463
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:01,880
the code of ethics rule book.
464
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:03,760
What? You mean you read that?
465
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,960
Of course not -
I just made some shit up.
466
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:11,000
PHONE BEEPS
467
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,920
KEYPAD BEEPS
468
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,960
What are you doing?
This way, come on.
469
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,480
Look, I'm sorry.
470
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:24,600
I did a bad thing,
471
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,280
but we really miss you.
472
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,840
Give Al the flowers.
473
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,520
Thank you, little fella.
474
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,360
Well, I'm going to give these to
your mummy,
475
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,720
because she deserves them.
476
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:39,360
When a man does something nice,
he normally wants something, baby.
477
00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,960
I don't want anything,
I just want you to go away, OK?
478
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:46,200
In the nicest way possible.
479
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,240
I thought you cared.
480
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,280
Look, it's my job to provide
appropriate advice,
481
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:54,480
and support and resources.
482
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,440
It's not my job to...
483
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,480
It's not my job to care.
484
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,600
Oh...
485
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,800
I've had more interesting reports
from my daughter's primary school.
486
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:10,280
You have one week to come in here
and give me some proper dirt.
487
00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:12,000
Right. Sorry.
I have to let people go,
488
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,200
and if you're not careful,
it's going to be you.
489
00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,480
Now, piss off.
490
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:16,920
And Nitin, change your shirt -
491
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,040
it looks like a mouse has done
a shit in the pocket.
492
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,600
Oh, what?
493
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:24,160
See you tomorrow. So you managed to
persuade Lee to take the kids?
494
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,560
We compromised.
495
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,080
He's giving them tea at mine
496
00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,960
and I said then he could go on his
posh-twats weekend.
497
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,040
Oh, it's not like you to compromise.
498
00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,880
Thank you. Oh, I don't know,
maybe Lee's not so bad.
499
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,400
I've had worse boyfriends.
500
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:38,720
Shove them out, that's it.
501
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,280
Kids, Lee!
502
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:42,640
I'm home.
503
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,800
Just be a bit careful... Mum, Dad's
teaching us how to cook chips!
504
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,000
Oh, how brilliant! You need to get
back in the kitchen!
505
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,040
That's right, then.
Just flip them up on the tray.
506
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,880
Where is he? Move them around with
your hand, it doesn't matter.
507
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,280
They won't be too hot.
508
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,680
Hiya!
509
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:02,720
# People, they ain't no good
510
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:09,080
# I think that's well understood
511
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:16,320
# You can see it everywhere you look
512
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:21,360
People just ain't no good...
513
00:23:21,410 --> 00:23:25,960
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