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1
00:00:17,622 --> 00:00:20,598
Dads is recorded in front
of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:20,615 --> 00:00:23,715
Here I come
and I've got presents
3
00:00:23,716 --> 00:00:27,318
You just sit right there,
I'll bring it to you.
4
00:00:29,064 --> 00:00:31,648
- Happy Hanukkah, Dad.
- No, thank you.
5
00:00:31,649 --> 00:00:32,997
You don't want a gift?
6
00:00:33,032 --> 00:00:37,135
I'm at the point in my life where
I can no longer fake excitement.
7
00:00:37,169 --> 00:00:39,937
Don't worry, Dad, I don't
expect anything in return.
8
00:00:39,972 --> 00:00:42,607
Good, then you'll love
what I didn't get you.
9
00:00:42,641 --> 00:00:45,977
Look, I don't expect anything
from you, ever. Nobody does.
10
00:00:46,011 --> 00:00:50,815
What? You think I'm some kind of loser
who can't get gifts for his family?
11
00:00:50,849 --> 00:00:52,583
- S?.
- Yes.
12
00:00:52,618 --> 00:00:54,619
Edna, I got something
for you, too.
13
00:00:54,653 --> 00:00:56,988
A new car?
14
00:00:57,022 --> 00:00:59,390
No, I just changed
the locks on the door.
15
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,714
But I did get
you a present.
16
00:01:02,715 --> 00:01:04,349
- What is this?
- It's a laptop.
17
00:01:04,496 --> 00:01:06,531
- ?Que?
- For the Internet.
18
00:01:06,565 --> 00:01:09,801
- ?Que?
- You can return it for $1,500.
19
00:01:09,835 --> 00:01:12,537
Thank you, Mr. Eli!
20
00:01:12,571 --> 00:01:16,297
Oh, uh, and I got you
something from your wish list.
21
00:01:16,298 --> 00:01:19,523
- Is Magic Glo?
- Yes. The furniture polish from TV.
22
00:01:19,524 --> 00:01:21,391
The one I hear
Jimmy Smits uses.
23
00:01:21,426 --> 00:01:24,261
Jimmy Smits!
24
00:01:34,123 --> 00:01:36,920
Season 1, Episode 11
"The Glitch That Stole Christmas"
25
00:01:36,958 --> 00:01:39,958
Synced by Reef
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:01:39,964 --> 00:01:42,100
Hey, what's wrong with you?
Why don't you have a drink in your hand?
27
00:01:42,101 --> 00:01:43,644
On,
no, no, I got to focus.
28
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:46,236
Tonight is the one night of the
year that Veronica drinks.
29
00:01:46,237 --> 00:01:47,470
Last Christmas,
30
00:01:47,471 --> 00:01:51,044
I got a long end-of-the-night
hug with an extra boob press.
31
00:01:51,308 --> 00:01:52,757
- That's good.
- Oh. Yeah.
32
00:01:52,758 --> 00:01:56,463
Guys... guys, guys...
33
00:01:56,523 --> 00:01:57,923
Guys.
34
00:01:58,262 --> 00:02:03,094
I don't always say this,
but you're good guys.
35
00:02:03,783 --> 00:02:05,383
- Toast!
- Whoa!
36
00:02:05,384 --> 00:02:06,985
Toast to the bosses!
37
00:02:06,986 --> 00:02:08,388
- Us.
- Us.
38
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:11,224
Okay, uh, everybody...
everybody listen up.
39
00:02:11,225 --> 00:02:12,859
We, uh...
40
00:02:12,860 --> 00:02:16,263
Well, we just want to thank you all
for an incredible year, really.
41
00:02:16,264 --> 00:02:17,714
- It's, um...
- Yeah. Yeah, as you know,
42
00:02:17,749 --> 00:02:19,516
we couldn't have
a Christmas party last year
43
00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:21,852
due to all the protests
surrounding our last game,
44
00:02:21,853 --> 00:02:23,903
O Kill All Ye Faithful.
45
00:02:24,337 --> 00:02:28,258
But, uh, tomorrow, thanks
to all of your hard work...
46
00:02:28,259 --> 00:02:30,894
A-And the incessant pressuring
of the humorless chairman
47
00:02:30,895 --> 00:02:32,714
of the Parents
Video Game Council...
48
00:02:32,715 --> 00:02:35,210
- That guy.
- Yeah, we released
49
00:02:35,266 --> 00:02:38,568
our first family-friendly
Christmas game,
50
00:02:38,603 --> 00:02:41,772
Santa's ExcitingBut Safe Ride.
51
00:02:41,806 --> 00:02:43,040
Cheers, everyone.
52
00:02:43,074 --> 00:02:46,076
- Cheers.
- Look what I unwrapped.
53
00:02:49,580 --> 00:02:52,043
- Are you gonna move in on that?
- Oh, no, no, no. Not yet.
54
00:02:52,044 --> 00:02:56,068
She's still going through the "I don't
need a man" stage of drinking right now.
55
00:02:57,303 --> 00:02:59,387
How many different
stages are there?
56
00:02:59,422 --> 00:03:03,958
Uh, well, let's see, there's the
"Who has a cigarette?" stage, and...
57
00:03:03,993 --> 00:03:08,697
Normally that leads to "My sister's
wedding was so beautiful!" stage,
58
00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:14,869
and finally, the "You guys are boring,
let's go to a strip club" stage, and...
59
00:03:14,904 --> 00:03:17,272
That, my friend,
is where I swoop in.
60
00:03:17,306 --> 00:03:21,357
- Hey, gang. Look who I brought.
- Hey. Wow.
61
00:03:21,358 --> 00:03:25,261
Wow, that's Donald Harvey, the head
of the Parents Video Game Council.
62
00:03:25,295 --> 00:03:26,659
We were just talking
about you.
63
00:03:26,663 --> 00:03:28,864
Hey, I thought
you hated us
64
00:03:28,899 --> 00:03:31,133
- ...and everything we stood for.
- I do.
65
00:03:31,168 --> 00:03:35,309
But your father told me that you just
created a new family-friendly video game.
66
00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:40,297
And I thought that we could maybe
present him with a copy personally?
67
00:03:40,298 --> 00:03:42,699
Oh. Wow, Dad, that's
actually a great idea.
68
00:03:42,733 --> 00:03:45,646
- Yes, do you want us to sign it for you?
- Please don't.
69
00:03:47,286 --> 00:03:50,789
Yeah, we're a company
that values the family market,
70
00:03:50,790 --> 00:03:55,833
and my son and I hope that this game
proves just how wholesome we can be.
71
00:03:55,834 --> 00:03:57,535
- Well said, Dad.
- Thank you.
72
00:03:57,536 --> 00:03:59,316
Thanks for the
advance copy.
73
00:03:59,317 --> 00:04:00,817
- I'll keep an open mind.
- Great.
74
00:04:00,818 --> 00:04:02,204
All right, all right.
75
00:04:02,205 --> 00:04:03,872
- Let's go to a strip club...
- Whoa!
76
00:04:06,968 --> 00:04:10,004
Hey, Edna, take
a look at this.
77
00:04:10,038 --> 00:04:11,505
What do you think?
78
00:04:11,539 --> 00:04:15,275
It says "Eli," and that's
a drawing of a race car,
79
00:04:15,310 --> 00:04:19,079
'cause 30 years ago, Eli said
something about a race car.
80
00:04:20,482 --> 00:04:21,849
Is bad.
81
00:04:21,883 --> 00:04:24,859
What are you talking about?
People love homemade gifts...
82
00:04:24,860 --> 00:04:29,289
- It's the thought that counts.
- No. Is gift that counts.
83
00:04:29,324 --> 00:04:32,760
You need to get a job
and buy something nice for Eli.
84
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:36,930
My last job was at a pet store.
I left the heat on, killed 30 birds.
85
00:04:38,286 --> 00:04:40,320
I have job for you.
86
00:04:41,536 --> 00:04:44,371
I'm not blowing leaves.
87
00:04:44,986 --> 00:04:48,142
Okay... I have
other job for you.
88
00:04:58,186 --> 00:05:03,078
So... you have any experience
being urinated on by children?
89
00:05:05,916 --> 00:05:09,336
- No.
- Well, you'll pick it up.
90
00:05:09,864 --> 00:05:12,997
Rule number one -
No erections.
91
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,386
Leave it
in the parking lot.
92
00:05:19,007 --> 00:05:22,501
When you're on my clock,
you're totally flaccid.
93
00:05:24,346 --> 00:05:25,936
Done.
94
00:05:26,399 --> 00:05:28,400
Merry Christmas.
You're hired.
95
00:05:30,085 --> 00:05:32,753
Thanks for helping me
find a clean shirt.
96
00:05:32,787 --> 00:05:36,223
- Is everyone mad at me?
- Oh, of course not.
97
00:05:36,257 --> 00:05:38,792
And your sister's wedding
sounded beautiful.
98
00:05:38,827 --> 00:05:41,195
Just put your head
down on your desk.
99
00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,832
Eli. Eli.
100
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:46,433
Isn't that
the programmer we fired
101
00:05:46,468 --> 00:05:49,103
because he looks at people's
crotches when he talks to them?
102
00:05:49,137 --> 00:05:52,673
I think it is.
What is he doing here?
103
00:05:52,707 --> 00:05:55,676
- I don't know. You didn't invite him?
- No. We fired him.
104
00:05:55,710 --> 00:05:57,277
- Yeah, that's weird.
- Hey, guys.
105
00:05:57,312 --> 00:05:59,480
- Hey! How's it going?
- Hey!
106
00:05:59,514 --> 00:06:01,969
You mean since you fired me
a week before the holidays?
107
00:06:02,734 --> 00:06:05,135
Yeah. It's going great.
108
00:06:21,503 --> 00:06:23,637
S-So...
109
00:06:23,671 --> 00:06:27,774
What are you doing here
at the Christmas party?
110
00:06:27,809 --> 00:06:30,106
I brought you a gift.
111
00:06:49,664 --> 00:06:51,665
Okay, are we done
talking yet?
112
00:06:54,327 --> 00:06:57,336
Yeah, I inserted it
in the Christmas game for you.
113
00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:00,193
Have a good one.
114
00:07:06,580 --> 00:07:08,247
What did he mean by "gift"?
115
00:07:08,525 --> 00:07:11,693
You idiots, he obviously
sabotaged the game somehow.
116
00:07:11,939 --> 00:07:13,560
I thought you were drunk.
117
00:07:13,561 --> 00:07:16,913
Asians have an enzyme that sobers
them up when money's at stake.
118
00:07:17,816 --> 00:07:20,292
Guys, find out what
he did to the game.
119
00:07:20,293 --> 00:07:23,628
Be thorough. Look carefully
for anything that could be offensive.
120
00:07:23,663 --> 00:07:26,852
Anything penis-related - testicles,
foreskin, grundles, pubic hair.
121
00:07:26,853 --> 00:07:29,409
Anything boob-related -
cleavage, nipples, areolas.
122
00:07:29,410 --> 00:07:32,180
Anything vagina-related -
clitoris, vulvae, hymen.
123
00:07:32,181 --> 00:07:36,626
Anything anus-related - butt cheeks,
rectums, hard poop, soft poop, diarrhea.
124
00:07:38,978 --> 00:07:42,214
Uh, actually, I'll take the clitoris.
You two could never find it.
125
00:07:42,248 --> 00:07:45,283
Thank you. Ha!
Okay.
126
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,068
Did you find anything?
127
00:08:07,916 --> 00:08:10,184
I knew it.
128
00:08:10,218 --> 00:08:12,920
Oh, no, you didn't...
it-it's much worse.
129
00:08:12,954 --> 00:08:14,822
Well... how much worse?
130
00:08:14,856 --> 00:08:18,025
Well, um, you know
how in the game
131
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:21,369
you hear the word "Christmas,"
like, 8,000 times?
132
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,871
Yeah...
133
00:08:23,131 --> 00:08:25,224
Well, um...
134
00:08:26,134 --> 00:08:29,537
That-that word has
been replaced with a...
135
00:08:29,571 --> 00:08:31,251
Another word.
136
00:08:34,142 --> 00:08:37,044
Well... what word?
137
00:08:37,078 --> 00:08:38,746
I ca...
138
00:08:41,372 --> 00:08:43,206
I can't say it.
Warner, tell her.
139
00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:47,190
Uh, I can't. I tried to as an experiment
once, and I passed out.
140
00:08:49,090 --> 00:08:50,958
W-Well, write it down.
141
00:08:50,992 --> 00:08:54,118
- No way! No! No!
- Guys! What is it?
142
00:08:57,732 --> 00:09:00,968
It's in a lot
of rap songs.
143
00:09:03,171 --> 00:09:04,678
Okay, great. Thanks.
144
00:09:04,951 --> 00:09:08,175
Guys, good news. We're in luck.
The distributor just got back to me.
145
00:09:08,209 --> 00:09:11,979
- None of the games have been shipped.
- Oh, my God! Thank God.
146
00:09:13,348 --> 00:09:15,716
Except for the one
that we personally handed
147
00:09:15,750 --> 00:09:19,753
to the African-American chairman of
the Parents Video Games Council.
148
00:09:21,188 --> 00:09:23,289
What?! When did you do that?
149
00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:28,830
When you were busy waving your bra
around, yelling, "Who has a cigarette?"
150
00:09:38,473 --> 00:09:40,441
Warner. Warner.
151
00:09:40,475 --> 00:09:42,776
- What are you doing?
- I'm packing my desk,
152
00:09:42,811 --> 00:09:44,717
and I'm... going to the beach
153
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:48,079
and I'm gonna swim out into
the ocean until I can't see land.
154
00:09:49,949 --> 00:09:53,018
No, no, no, no.
That's the easy way out.
155
00:09:54,053 --> 00:09:56,252
I know.
156
00:09:57,056 --> 00:09:59,122
No, guys, no,
there's still time.
157
00:09:59,123 --> 00:10:01,059
We have to get the game back
before he plays it.
158
00:10:01,094 --> 00:10:05,217
That's a good idea, let me just take my
Gummy Bear vitamins before we go, okay?
159
00:10:05,268 --> 00:10:08,934
- No, no, he's trying to O.D. on the...
- No! Stop it!
160
00:10:08,968 --> 00:10:11,470
Let me die! Let me die!
161
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,840
No.
162
00:10:20,176 --> 00:10:23,015
- Santa!
- Stop screaming!
163
00:10:25,385 --> 00:10:29,421
I mean, come on up on
Santa's lap, little boy.
164
00:10:29,455 --> 00:10:32,102
There you go.
This is for you.
165
00:10:32,692 --> 00:10:34,993
- What do you want?
- Xbox.
166
00:10:35,028 --> 00:10:37,788
I don't know what that is.
Next?
167
00:10:39,565 --> 00:10:41,099
Whoa!
168
00:10:47,485 --> 00:10:49,683
You can tell me
from there.
169
00:10:51,197 --> 00:10:53,700
- What do you want?
- A new bike.
170
00:10:54,045 --> 00:10:56,680
What, did the old one
kill itself?
171
00:10:58,367 --> 00:11:00,569
Santa bring you new bike.
172
00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:02,289
Thanks, Santa!
173
00:11:02,488 --> 00:11:05,142
Okay. Now...
174
00:11:05,143 --> 00:11:08,473
You ride it every day, and next
year, you'll be sitting right here.
175
00:11:08,474 --> 00:11:09,945
Off you go.
176
00:11:15,501 --> 00:11:18,937
- Your beard is fake.
- So are your mom's boobs.
177
00:11:24,811 --> 00:11:26,812
Easy-Bake Oven?
178
00:11:29,015 --> 00:11:34,052
Okay, I'm gonna save you a difficult
conversation in ten years.
179
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:39,576
Gay. Support him.
He's a nice kid.
180
00:11:41,527 --> 00:11:44,055
Here you go.
Okay, off you go.
181
00:11:45,298 --> 00:11:47,799
I don't wanna be
his first lap dance.
182
00:11:57,777 --> 00:11:59,745
Stop it!
183
00:11:59,779 --> 00:12:02,180
You've been knocking for, like,
20 minutes. He's obviously not home.
184
00:12:02,215 --> 00:12:06,667
Ye, if you "yoo-hoo" one more time,
I'm gonna rip your tongue out.
185
00:12:07,752 --> 00:12:09,844
Guys, I can see the game
on the table.
186
00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:11,913
- Oh, you've got to get it.
- Okay, guys,
187
00:12:11,947 --> 00:12:13,581
we're not gonna break
into his house, okay?
188
00:12:13,616 --> 00:12:14,816
We don't have to break in.
189
00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:17,987
You're so skinny, we could slide you
under the door like a hotel bill.
190
00:12:19,315 --> 00:12:21,923
I'm not skinny.
I'm fat.
191
00:12:22,390 --> 00:12:24,491
Oh, please don't start
this again.
192
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:28,973
You know, guys, we are overlooking
the easiest solution.
193
00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:50,308
It's so dark.
194
00:12:50,505 --> 00:12:52,813
All right, Veronica, good luck.
195
00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:55,596
What?! I'm not going in there.
It's your company.
196
00:12:55,597 --> 00:12:56,961
I'm mid-level management.
197
00:12:56,962 --> 00:12:59,697
Yeah, that's why you're going in there...
because you're mid-level management.
198
00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,358
I'll go down for $1,000.
199
00:13:02,359 --> 00:13:06,729
Okay, but first, we should solve
this chimney problem.
200
00:13:07,506 --> 00:13:09,853
No. One of you has
to go down there.
201
00:13:09,887 --> 00:13:13,704
And it should probably be the one
who's really in charge of the company.
202
00:13:25,378 --> 00:13:27,499
She outsmarted us.
203
00:13:28,973 --> 00:13:32,342
On the count of three,
wriggle, okay?
204
00:13:32,377 --> 00:13:33,710
Okay.
205
00:13:33,745 --> 00:13:36,647
One... two... three.
206
00:13:42,687 --> 00:13:46,194
- Okay, upper body only, please.
- Sorry. Sorry.
207
00:13:47,458 --> 00:13:49,192
You want me to call 911?
208
00:13:49,227 --> 00:13:51,294
And tell them
that we're stuck in the chimney
209
00:13:51,329 --> 00:13:53,196
of the house we tried
to break into?
210
00:13:53,891 --> 00:13:57,303
Yes, I think you
should call 911.
211
00:13:58,413 --> 00:14:01,053
You just love
disagreeing with me.
212
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:02,650
What?
213
00:14:02,684 --> 00:14:04,752
Yeah, if I had said,
"Oh, yeah, call 911,"
214
00:14:04,786 --> 00:14:07,087
you would go,
"Uh, I don't want to call 911."
215
00:14:07,122 --> 00:14:09,623
- No, I wouldn't.
- See, you just did it again.
216
00:14:09,658 --> 00:14:11,792
- No, I didn't.
- You just did it again.
217
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:15,065
Just give me a reason, buddy.
Just give me one reason.
218
00:14:15,066 --> 00:14:16,834
- Oh, make a move.
- Oh, there.
219
00:14:18,833 --> 00:14:20,067
There you go.
220
00:14:20,101 --> 00:14:23,137
I got to tell you, Edna.
I can't do this for two weeks.
221
00:14:23,171 --> 00:14:26,140
But imagine look on Eli head
222
00:14:26,174 --> 00:14:28,309
when you give him gift.
223
00:14:28,343 --> 00:14:30,382
I think you mean "face."
224
00:14:30,383 --> 00:14:32,584
You shut your nose and listen.
225
00:14:34,352 --> 00:14:38,855
You sit down, you do the job,
and you smile.
226
00:14:38,958 --> 00:14:42,456
I don't get how you can do this
and be happy all day.
227
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:45,893
Edna just think
about the children, the Santa,
228
00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:47,428
the Christmas.
229
00:14:47,462 --> 00:14:50,411
Also, I drunk.
230
00:14:51,596 --> 00:14:54,938
What do you got in there?
Come on.
231
00:14:56,972 --> 00:14:59,540
Ooh, that's good
hot chocolate.
232
00:15:01,753 --> 00:15:04,572
Okay, let's see.
Who's next?
233
00:15:06,325 --> 00:15:09,227
The Shining.
Come on up.
234
00:15:09,261 --> 00:15:11,462
Come on, come on,
come on, come on.
235
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,569
- Oh, man, I'm so hungry.
- Me, too.
236
00:15:17,162 --> 00:15:21,774
- Hey, guys, is this the right chimney?
- Yes, it's the right chimney.
237
00:15:21,808 --> 00:15:24,110
- You hungry?
- Yes!
238
00:15:24,144 --> 00:15:27,646
Yeah, me, too. Listen,
it's gonna be all right.
239
00:15:27,681 --> 00:15:30,316
I once got accidentally
made into a bed in a hotel,
240
00:15:30,350 --> 00:15:32,318
and I was trapped
for six days.
241
00:15:32,352 --> 00:15:34,353
But don't worry.
I have a plan.
242
00:15:34,388 --> 00:15:35,855
Oh, no.
243
00:15:35,889 --> 00:15:37,890
That was your plan?
244
00:15:39,192 --> 00:15:42,495
Well, I-I thought we'd
work it out mid-air.
245
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,699
- Great plan, Dad.
- Thank you.
246
00:15:47,065 --> 00:15:50,000
Hey, don't get mad at him.
This is your fault.
247
00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:52,202
- Yeah, thank you.
- What?!
248
00:15:52,203 --> 00:15:54,825
All right, shut up.
Does anyone have a phone?
249
00:15:55,309 --> 00:15:57,753
I do, but I can't get it.
It's in my pocket.
250
00:15:57,754 --> 00:15:59,845
Veronica, you're gonna have
to dig it out for me.
251
00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:02,715
- I'd rather die in here.
- I'll get it. I'll get it.
252
00:16:02,749 --> 00:16:03,949
- Really?
- Yeah.
253
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,051
Almost.
254
00:16:06,086 --> 00:16:08,220
You almost got it.
255
00:16:08,255 --> 00:16:10,523
It's almost there.
256
00:16:10,557 --> 00:16:13,374
Merry Christmas, buddy.
257
00:16:14,094 --> 00:16:16,095
Merry Christmas, buddy.
258
00:16:16,701 --> 00:16:18,669
Merry Christmas, Dad.
259
00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:20,671
He's asleep.
260
00:16:27,007 --> 00:16:29,975
Of course, Santa loves
all his reindeer.
261
00:16:30,478 --> 00:16:33,734
Rudolph, Johnny,
262
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:36,282
Dave,
263
00:16:36,316 --> 00:16:38,284
Antler-head,
264
00:16:39,002 --> 00:16:40,286
Pellet Poops...
265
00:16:41,888 --> 00:16:43,889
Hold that thought.
266
00:16:46,493 --> 00:16:48,366
Eli?
267
00:16:48,957 --> 00:16:50,958
You what?!
268
00:16:54,601 --> 00:16:57,436
Hi, Mr. Eli, Mr. Warner,
269
00:16:57,471 --> 00:17:01,089
Mr. Crawford,
Miss China Lady.
270
00:17:03,298 --> 00:17:05,507
- Hi.
- Hold on.
271
00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:09,548
Okay, how do you want me to
help you to get out of there?
272
00:17:09,583 --> 00:17:10,811
What are you talking about?
273
00:17:10,817 --> 00:17:13,174
You knew we were stuck in a chimney,
and you didn't bring rope?
274
00:17:13,175 --> 00:17:14,769
What are you thinking?!
275
00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:20,738
Oh, you're stuck in a
chimney, and I'm the idiot!
276
00:17:23,148 --> 00:17:26,232
Yeah, well, he's kind
of got us there.
277
00:17:26,266 --> 00:17:28,200
Hang on.
278
00:17:29,669 --> 00:17:35,641
Okay, I'm lowering this cheap,
plastic belt down to you,
279
00:17:35,769 --> 00:17:38,878
so don't pull too... hard!
280
00:17:46,253 --> 00:17:48,554
Dad, why are you
in a Santa outfit?
281
00:17:48,588 --> 00:17:50,656
It was supposed
to be a surprise,
282
00:17:50,690 --> 00:17:53,826
but I got a job
to buy you a gift.
283
00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:56,243
Happy Hanukkah, Eli.
284
00:17:56,352 --> 00:18:00,699
Hmm. I... I can't believe it.
Thank you, Dad.
285
00:18:04,896 --> 00:18:06,518
What is it?
286
00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:09,320
Well... it was a goldfish.
287
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:16,027
Now it feels
like Christmas.
288
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,591
It's also for your birthday.
289
00:18:22,599 --> 00:18:24,600
Are we gonna die in here?
290
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,206
I hope so. I'm done.
291
00:18:29,339 --> 00:18:31,641
No one is going to die tonight!
292
00:18:31,675 --> 00:18:36,025
Jimmy Smits, make me slippery.
293
00:19:10,990 --> 00:19:12,393
Somebody say something.
294
00:19:12,394 --> 00:19:15,863
I've got, like, nine billion
more houses to hit tonight.
295
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:24,668
We... we are...
we are so sorry.
296
00:19:24,703 --> 00:19:29,440
The-the game that you received
is-is not the final version.
297
00:19:29,474 --> 00:19:31,542
So the game
I was supposed to receive
298
00:19:31,576 --> 00:19:33,577
doesn't say
the most offensive word
299
00:19:33,612 --> 00:19:37,248
in the English language
5,000 times?
300
00:19:37,609 --> 00:19:40,584
Ah, you already played it.
301
00:19:40,619 --> 00:19:41,819
Yeah.
302
00:19:41,853 --> 00:19:43,964
If we could just
take our game...
303
00:19:43,965 --> 00:19:46,533
And wish you a merry Chri...
304
00:19:46,930 --> 00:19:48,731
A Happy Holidays...
305
00:19:49,443 --> 00:19:50,862
And then go?
306
00:19:50,863 --> 00:19:53,765
You've got some scary-looking
masks on your wall.
307
00:19:56,835 --> 00:19:59,970
You know, I've hated every game
you guys have done,
308
00:20:00,005 --> 00:20:03,474
but this time...
this time, I actually liked it.
309
00:20:04,176 --> 00:20:05,609
You did?
310
00:20:05,644 --> 00:20:09,113
Yeah. I mean, the story was great,
the game-play was smooth.
311
00:20:09,147 --> 00:20:11,148
The word didn't ruin it for you?
I mean...
312
00:20:11,183 --> 00:20:13,150
I mean, I was shocked
and upset at first,
313
00:20:13,288 --> 00:20:14,888
especially when Rudolph said it.
314
00:20:18,306 --> 00:20:20,502
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
315
00:20:21,660 --> 00:20:24,095
But then I figured, you know,
it probably was put in there
316
00:20:24,129 --> 00:20:26,197
by some angry programmer,
you know, some guy you fired.
317
00:20:26,231 --> 00:20:27,484
A crotch-starer.
318
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,000
A racist crotch-starer.
319
00:20:30,035 --> 00:20:31,802
- See, I knew it was something like that.
- Yeah.
320
00:20:31,837 --> 00:20:34,472
Well, the point is, I'm okay
with your product.
321
00:20:36,374 --> 00:20:39,076
I have to tell you... your opinion...
It-it actually means a lot to us.
322
00:20:39,111 --> 00:20:41,040
- Yeah?
- Yeah, it does. Yeah.
323
00:20:41,041 --> 00:20:43,955
Well, it's my wife who
wants to kill you both.
324
00:20:44,282 --> 00:20:46,122
- Your wife?
- Yeah.
325
00:20:46,123 --> 00:20:48,319
- Hey.
- Hey. Hey.
326
00:20:48,353 --> 00:20:51,989
Are these the racist sons of bitches
who ruined our Christmas?!
327
00:20:52,023 --> 00:20:54,325
You know,
your husband...
328
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:56,287
He black.
329
00:21:04,636 --> 00:21:07,171
You know, you racist fools
need to learn a few...
330
00:21:07,205 --> 00:21:08,706
- Honey?
- No, don't honey me!
331
00:21:08,740 --> 00:21:10,875
Why would you let these
people into our house?!
332
00:21:10,909 --> 00:21:12,877
These people?
333
00:21:17,115 --> 00:21:19,316
Ma'am, we're really
sorry if we have...
334
00:21:19,351 --> 00:21:21,748
If-if we've... if we've
offended your peop...
335
00:21:21,749 --> 00:21:23,228
- Our people.
- Yeah.
336
00:21:23,423 --> 00:21:26,023
- Every people. All the people.
- All people.
337
00:21:26,057 --> 00:21:28,359
- Yeah. All...
- 'Cause that word is hurtful.
338
00:21:28,393 --> 00:21:29,226
- Yeah. Yes.
- S?.
339
00:21:29,261 --> 00:21:30,761
Hateful.
340
00:21:30,795 --> 00:21:31,995
And it's our word.
341
00:21:31,997 --> 00:21:34,198
- Well...
- What?!
342
00:21:34,232 --> 00:21:35,633
- Yes. Yes.
- S?.
343
00:21:35,667 --> 00:21:37,401
- Yeah. Yes.
- S?.
344
00:21:37,435 --> 00:21:39,403
Now, you all get out of
my house before I show you
345
00:21:39,404 --> 00:21:41,814
how a girl from Greenwich,
Connecticut likes to party.
346
00:21:45,677 --> 00:21:49,046
Boy. White women. Am I right?
347
00:21:49,087 --> 00:21:51,055
I'm so sorry.
348
00:21:52,768 --> 00:21:55,768
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