All language subtitles for Cuckoo s02e04 Funeral.eng

Mom. Mom!

I have another question, Mom.
Dale, we're just here.

Oh. I have another question
about Dad's book.

Here Cuckoo's written this phrase,
"Words are walls"

and then right next to it he's drawn
a picture of a smiling monkey. Why?

Well... I mean,
there must be a connection.

HE SNIGGERS

Probably something very deep.
Very clever bloke.

Anyone coming into town?

I'd love to, but Rach and I are
planning our trip. Dirty weekend.

That's my daughter. I know, Ken.
Felt wrong as soon as I said it.

I'm staying right here
until I master Dad's book.

Hey, Mom, this page is blank,
do I read it anyway?

What about you, Dale,
fancy a trip into town?

Can I ride with my head out the
window? Yes, but not in traffic.

Yes!

No offence to your father, Dale,
but these are real books.

Thousands of years of human knowledge
all bound in dusty leather jackets.

I never knew the world
has this many books.

And we only had a small
library on the ashram,

all written by my leader, Vashradi.

Oh, yeah? He was an author,
too, was he? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

He wrote some great ones -

the Dictionary, the Bible,

Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace -
my favourite. Yeah. Good going.

HE GASPS

Oh, my God.

Wowee.

Edmund Burke's Vindication
Of Natural Society.

Excuse me, is this a first edition?
You know your books.

This is the sort of book
you can build a collection on.

Oh, Christ!
Oh, I shouldn't.

I really shouldn't.

If you just pop your PIN in there,
sir. If you think about it,

it's an investment, isn't it?

BELL JINGLES

Excuse me, I gather that you have
an Edmund Burke first edition?

I'm sorry, I just sold it.
Yes, I'm a collector.

Ken Thompson.

Well, fuck me.
Dr Rafferty. Wow.

I didn't think I'd ever
have to see you again -

I mean, GET to see you again.

Likewise, completely likewise.

Who's your friend? This is Dale,
my daughter's late husband's son.

Dale, Dr Rafferty used to be
my history lecturer at college.

Oh, wow, you actually
taught chief Ken?

You must be the wisest man
in the world.

The only thing that I know
is that I know nothing.

HE LAUGHS

That is freaking deep.
Amusing boy.

So, Ken, you've bought the book.

I'm surprised to see you
still pursuing the history.

The last I heard, you were
plugging away as a solicitor.

Yes, I'm a successful solicitor,

with an Edmund Burke first edition
in mint condition. Well, see you.

Er, Ken, reading Burke
in first edition

has been a life-time ambition
for me.

Well, best of luck finding one.
I hear they're very hard to come by.

Well, I would try
to find one for myself

but time isn't exactly on my side.

You... Let's just say that
if you were to lend me that book

it wouldn't be for longer
than six months.

Wow, six months? You can
read a book that fast?

Ken, I got a great idea.

You should lend
Dr Rafferty your copy.

Er, no, no, Dale, I'm sure that's
not what Dr Rafferty was suggesting.

Ken, that would be wonderful.
If you were to lend me that book,

you would make one of my last
earthly wishes come true.

You could make his wishes come true.

Who wouldn't want to do that?

Only a complete arsehole.

You've made an old man very happy.

You annoy me sometimes,
you know that?

He's had it two weeks, Lorn,
that's more than enough time.

Did I ever tell you
about the time

that he marked my second year
coursework down to a 2/2? Oh, yes.

It's one of my favourite stories.
But you didn't let it stop you

doing the right thing.
I'm proud of you, Ken.

He's a professor, he could
finish a book in an afternoon.

I bet he's lying about his illness,
I wouldn't put that past him.

Calm down, Ken, it's just a book.

It's an expensive book.
Really? How much?

�80.
80 quid? Jeez, Ken.

Well, I hope it's a hardback.

I'm bloody ringing him,
and if he tries bluffing me,

he'll wish he was dead sooner.

He's dead?

WOMAN: 'Sooner than expected. Sorry.'

No, no, no. He said
he had six months.

'Well, that was optimistic. We were
hoping for six weeks, but...'

WHISPERING: Six weeks. Lying bastard.

'Sorry?' No, I'm sorry.

That is terrible. And inconvenient.

'Well, if you wish to pay your
respects there's a ceremony

'at the house tomorrow. We'll be
spreading the ashes.' Yeah, maybe.

Thing is, before he
so tragically passed,

I sort of lent him this book.
'A book?'

Yeah, and it was an Edmund Burke
first edition so, you know...

LINE DISCONNECTS

Hello? Hello?

Honestly!

And you know it's ready when
how good it tastes overpowers

the guilt you feel
for killing the cow.

Not quite.

Well, terrible news, Lorn.

I've just spoken to Rafferty's
niece - he's only dead.

Oh, dear.
Oh, I'm sorry.

Not unexpected, though, was it?
There's a service tomorrow.

I think I'll go. OK.

Ken, I thought you hated him.
It's a sort of love-hate thing.

Turns out I'm really upset
about all this.

I'll go and pay my respects.

You are not going to that funeral
to get your book back. Lorna!

That is a dreadful thing -
offensive, actually.

Not as offensive as pretending to
be sad so you can go to a funeral

and filch your book.

HE GASPS

I miss him. Yesterday
you called him Dr Dickhead.

Rafferty is dead, Lorna.

Dale!
I'm sorry.

I-I'm, I'm so sorry,
I-I'll clean this right up.

I just... I thought I heard you say
that Dr Rafferty had died.

Yeah, I did say that. He's dead.

HE WHIMPERS

Oh, Dale, what's wrong?

How can the world be so cruel?

Dr Rafferty! Why?!

Oh, come on, you only met him
for five minutes.

I've had longer relationships
with a Cornish pasty.

You barely knew him, Dale.

And now I never will.
He's dead, Ken.

And I'll never get to see
daddy Rafferty ever again.

Ever!

Oh, something deeper going on there.

This is something we psychologists
call transference.

Don't remember you qualifying
as a psychologist, Connie.

I did a two-day course. It's as much
intuition as it is learning.

This stranger's death has triggered
all Dale's sublimated grief

for his father, Cuckoo. Oh, how
perceptive(!) What was the clue?

Was it him shouting "daddy"
and running off in tears?

Emotions are powerful things, Ken.

And if they're not dealt with
at the right time,

they can come back and haunt you.
Say, 25 years into your marriage

when you end up
transferring bedrooms? Ken.

I'd say Dale needs to go
to Dr Rafferty's funeral.

Deal with his grief head-on.

And most of all, he needs
the support of his family.

That is actually quite insightful
analysis, Connie.

Yeah, and that's why we should
ALL go to the funeral.

For Dale.

Why couldn't you just leave me
at home, like normal parents?

Because you're supporting
your step-nephew.

Yes, besides, the last time you were
home alone burglars broke in

and stole only vodka and beer and
left a used condom in my office.

Which is why I should be there
to guard the house.

I'm supposed to be seeing Zoe
this weekend.

I'm sure your relationship
can survive 24 hours.

Dale, you look smart, love.

I wanted to get it right.

Shamus was always
so well put together.

Always?

Well, every time I met him.

Ken, do you think Shamus is a ghost

and is haunting us right now?

Well, Dale, if Dr Rafferty
now exists as a ghost

I'd say he's probably with his
family, instead of an ex-student

and a guy he met once for
five minutes in a shop.

DYLAN: Sorry, babe,
I'm not going to make it.

I don't know if I can do this.
We're all here for you.

But I'm not strong like Ken, Lorna.
I mean, look at him.

It's like he's not feeling
any pain at all.

Oh, I'm hurting, Dale, I'm just
British. Dylan, get off the phone,

you're supposed to be in mourning.

Yeah, yeah, but it's not
like our relationship

can't survive 24 hours, eh?

OK, fine!

Zoe's gone and said we're not
exclusive this weekend.

Really? Oh, that's a risky play.
Yeah, thanks, Mum.

Now she's at Charlotte Brown's
pool party and I'm stuck here

at a funeral for some old dead twat.

Dylan, be quiet. Can't call
my professor some old dead twat.

Hi. Sorry for your loss.

Thank you. Who are you?

My name's Ken Thompson.
This is my family.

Oh, boy, that's him.

That's him in that tiny little jar.

HE WHIMPERS

It hurts so bad. So bad!

Why did he have to leave me? Why?!

HE SOBS

Oh, you poor thing.

You're his new American friend,
aren't you? Yes, that's me.

I thought as much. He talked
a lot about you. Did he?

Yes, especially towards the end.
Oh!

You are very welcome here.

Would you like to meet the family?
I would love to. Come on.

What is going on with them and Dale?

Well, they're Quakers, aren't they?
You know, progressive, huggy, huggy.

Inclusive.

We're going to have to sing?

You're going to have to be
respectful, Dylan, yes.

Yes, Dylan, this is a funeral.
There is such a thing as putting

other people's wishes
before your own, you know.

Now, I'm going to enquire
about my book.

Oh, you're not still
going on about that?

It cost me �100, Lorna.
I thought you said 80?

Yes, 80, I was rounding up.

At least you can say
he led a full life.

Oh, yes. Mm.

Does feel that we've lost a real gem
of a guy, doesn't it? Yes.

Feels like a light's gone out
in the world. It has.

He was such an inspiration
to me at college, you know.

I mean, to all of us.
Was he? Oh, gosh, yes.

Such an intelligent man,
nose always in a book.

Just think of all those books he had.

I mean, where did he keep
those books?

In his private study.
Oh, gosh...

I couldn't have a look at them,
could I? Just for old time's sake.

I dunno, I guess it would just be
my way of saying goodbye.

None of us have been
in there since he died.

Actually it...it is
where he passed.

Oh, so fitting.

I mean, I'm talking a minute max.

Right then, you mean
old bastard, where is it?

You're the only one of his
former students who came.

Is that how Shamus met your
American friend, through you?

Yes.

Are you all right?
I'm sorry.

It's been a hell of a couple
of days, you know. Yeah.

I-I actually had someone
phoning up trying to steal

one of his most expensive books.

Oh, my God, how terrible.

And, this book,

it was your uncle's, was it?

Because, you know, collectors,
they borrow, they...they lend.

It was you, wasn't it?
You're the man who phoned.

Oh, no. Not me.
And now you're here.

You're trying to steal from
Shamus at his own funeral.

That is a terrible accusation.

I know this has been a very
difficult time for you, yeah?

What's your name?
Sandra.

Sandra, I would never steal
from your uncle,

certainly not in the legal sense.
I'm sorry.

I just know that Shamus would've
wanted me to protect his collection.

Oh, there, there, there,
let it out. Let it out.

Sh, this is bound to happen, eh?

Yeah, that's right.
There, there.

Oh, hey.

Better, yeah?

Thank you.
Yeah.

Get it in!

"History of Genocide"? No. No.

Not now, Ken.

Dylan, do you have to be so mopey?
It's a funeral, Mum.

And I'm supposed to be
at a pool party

where Zoe's probably boning
all my mates. Fucking Judases.

Oh, I'd have thought an 18-year-old
boy would love a free pass.

Yeah, who am I going to hit on, Mum?
Have you seen the talent in here?

There's not even any MILFS.

Not saying you should hit on anyone,
just saying.

There's a lovely girl over there,
why don't you go and talk to her?

Go on.

So, pretty boring all
this religious stuff, eh?

I'm used to it. My family's devout.
I've been in the church since birth.

Er, so what's your name?
Chastity.

Where did you hide it, old man?

Mine!

So sorry for your loss.

LAUGHTER

Oh, Aunt Mary, I'm so happy
to finally meet you.

But at the same time, it really
bums me out because you're so old

and probably going to die soon, too.

Oh, well, maybe that's
one way of looking at it.

Mmm, there's no maybe about it.

I mean, I just met you but one day,
tomorrow, perhaps today,

you're going to be in
that little jar, too.

All your memories, hopes
and dreams gone forever.

You, too, probably. I mean, in fact,
all of us but you guys first.

It's OK, though.

Oh, my goodness, your skin
is like...tissue paper.

I'm going to let go
before I tear you.

It's like I'm watching you die
in front of my eyes.

I suppose the important thing
is that you lead a full life.

But did you? Did you achieve
everything you wanted?

Because it's too late now.

You can't sky dive,
your bones would break.

And not even from the landing,
just from putting on the harness.

I know, right? It's super sad.

So you've met Dr Rafferty's
special friend?

You know, the American one.
Oh.

Yes, Dr Rafferty and I only knew
each other a short while.

But he touched me
in a very special way.

Oh. Right.

I was wondering if we could get
your take on the order of service

because you knew a different
side to him than us.

That would be an honour.
Come on. OK.

Excuse me.
Hello.

What is it they call them
these days? Sorry, who?

You know...

woofters.

So, I'm just saying that
if God is cruel enough

to take your great uncle away
from you,

then maybe you shouldn't
be obeying his laws.

Yeah, but, Dylan, it's because
we don't understand God

that we have to have faith
that He has a plan for us.

Yeah, there's that,

but maybe God's plan was for you
to meet me at this funeral.

Because, I mean, he is pretty clever
when it comes to things like that,

you know, being God, so in a way,

if you don't cop off with me
you are kind of disobeying Jesus.

What I didn't know at the time was
that grapes can be lethal to dogs.

Lorna. Quick word.

I'm in the middle of something.
Now.

We've got - Dylan, what the hell
are you doing? Mum's idea.

Was it? Dylan, at least try
to be a little more discreet.

Come on.

We've got a bit of a problem.
Go on.

It turns out that the family think
that Dale is Rafferty's gay lover.

What? Seriously, I've just had a
detailed monologue from Aunt Alice

about Rafferty's recent habit of
Skyping an unusually young American.

Explains why they're being
so nice to him.

It's sweet that they're
being so welcoming.

Dylan, I said more discreet.

Let's get going before
it gets out of hand.

Also, I took my book
out of Sandra's bag.

So I want to get going before
she finds out. You stole it?

Legally you can't steal
your own property.

Ken, it will look like stealing.
Give it back and buy another one.

It's a very expensive book.
Oh come on, �100? You can afford it.

It was �500.
Bloody hell, Ken!

Sh!

Sorry. Sorry.

Let's just find Dale
and get out of here.

It's so lovely to get to know you.

Is there anything you want to ask
about my uncle? Yes, actually.

Do you think he'll come back
as a ghost and haunt us?

Oh...

Cos I would love that.

Hi. We're going to have to get going.

Before the service?
Yeah, it's a strange one

but traffic's a killer on the M6
and we're not using the toll.

Come along, Dale.
Actually, Ken, I can't leave.

I'm a part of the service. Really?

We thought it'd be nice for Dale
to make a little contribution.

Oh, Dale, I don't think
you should do that.

I think instead,
we should leave immediately.

Ken, I'm surprised. I thought you
would want to stay for the ceremony.

Or did you find the book already?

Book? What book?

We're here to pay our respects
to Dr Rafferty, that's all.

But you... No, I didn't, Dale.

Grief has clearly addled your mind.

Can you take your seats?
We're ready to start now.

? All things bright and beautiful

? All creatures great and small

? All things wise and wonderful

? The Lord God made them all. ?

Please, be seated.

We all remember Shamus
as a great man.

Kind, loving, above all generous.

He wasn't generous when
he marked my coursework down.

There is someone here who knew him
in a different way

to the rest of us, and the family
would like to invite him now

to read a short but immensely
uplifting passage from the book

that Dr Rafferty was reading
when he died.

Oh, shit.

"Clouds of acrid smoke that smelled
of burning human flesh

"rose above the
Khmer Rouge labour camps,

"sometimes forming a poisonous rain
which covered the starving workers

"and the remains of their families.

"Over three million Cambodians
were tortured and executed.

"The mass graves were over filled,

"mutilated limbs protruded
from the soil,

"causing diseases such as typhoid,
cholera and plague.

"In the north there were reports

"that some soldiers raped
the corpses." Thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you.

OK, let's go.

So perhaps now it's time for the
Quaker tradition of open worship.

If you feel moved to share thoughts
of the deceased, please stand,

just say whatever you feel
needs to be said.

I'll always remember
his Christmas cards.

And the little lines of poetry
he chose for everyone.

I'll remember that open box of
Maltesers he always had on his desk.

Such a kind man.

Yes, I would just like to say
that my uncle was a good man,

and a forgiving man, so if there is
a person here today who sneaked in

under false pretences in order,
perhaps, to steal from a dead man,

then I hope we can all follow my
uncle's footsteps and forgive him.

And hope he can forgive himself,
frankly.

Please don't.

I would like to second
what Sandra said.

But add that Dr Rafferty would never
judge until he knew the full picture,

who thought what, who said what,

who OWNED what.

Just in case he were to make
a bit of a tit of himself.

My uncle had a great sense
of justice,

and if he did do wrong, he didn't
try and worm his way out of it.

Oh, yes, but if he was wrongly
accused I think he would've had

the admirable sense to defend
himself, for does the Bible not say,

"Call not someone a thief
who has a valid receipt at home"?

Blasphemy!

I remember Shamus taking me
on holiday one summer to Cornwall.

What's that in your jacket? A book?

Oh, come on, now, what is this?

Sandra, I'm not entirely sure
this is the right time...

That book is Edmund Burke's
Vindication Of Natural Society

and he stole it out of my bag.

I think there's been
a misunderstanding.

This is my book.
I lent it to Rafferty

and he didn't give it back because he
was jealous that I bought it first.

He's lying!
It is, and it cost me �1,000.

�1,000? Ken!

I want you and all your wretched
family out.

Guys, this is not what daddy
Rafferty would've wanted.

Please calm down and listen
to Shamus' lover.

Erm, I was Shamus' lover.

Then who's this?

I think there's been
another misunderstanding.

What's wrong with you people?

Sandra, how about we go and scatter
the ashes in the rose garden?

I know how this all looks.
But my family are not bad people.

Yes, such a lovely man...

Chastity!

Mum, I...

CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS

Best funeral ever.

Much better than Granny's.

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