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1
00:00:11,997 --> 00:00:17,456
Don't...! No... Get out!
2
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,915
No! Get out of my house...!
3
00:00:19,916 --> 00:00:21,876
You!
4
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,156
Oh...
5
00:00:35,876 --> 00:00:37,196
Oh...
6
00:00:43,436 --> 00:00:46,395
It's wonderful to
feel your energy in the room, Ken.
7
00:00:46,396 --> 00:00:50,155
I'm just getting a glass of water.
8
00:00:50,156 --> 00:00:51,796
I'm meditating...
9
00:00:52,916 --> 00:00:55,316
I'm so fucking stoned.
10
00:00:57,236 --> 00:00:58,956
I'll probably leave you to it.
11
00:01:00,596 --> 00:01:02,596
In fact...
12
00:01:03,796 --> 00:01:05,995
do you mind sitting on this?
13
00:01:05,996 --> 00:01:10,635
You know,
we prepare food on this surface.
14
00:01:10,636 --> 00:01:11,876
Oh, sure, yeah.
15
00:01:11,877 --> 00:01:15,235
If you could just... Yeah,
you wanna just scooch it under?
16
00:01:15,236 --> 00:01:18,355
Let me just... Yeah.
17
00:01:18,356 --> 00:01:20,715
A bit higher maybe. Yep...
18
00:01:20,716 --> 00:01:22,876
Oh, you're right in there.
Oh.
19
00:01:24,316 --> 00:01:25,555
That's nice.
20
00:01:25,556 --> 00:01:28,076
Thank you, Ken, I'll see
you in the morning.
21
00:01:32,156 --> 00:01:33,196
Night, Dad.
22
00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:40,229
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
23
00:01:41,716 --> 00:01:44,555
I always imagined Rachel would marry
someone educated,
24
00:01:44,556 --> 00:01:48,395
someone with ambition,
with respected opinions,
25
00:01:48,396 --> 00:01:50,355
and most importantly...
26
00:01:50,356 --> 00:01:54,875
and I think this is key here -
never ever see his wang or nuts.
27
00:01:54,876 --> 00:01:57,195
Cuckoo has his qualities, Ken.
28
00:01:57,196 --> 00:02:00,315
You know, we were talking
about politics the other day,
29
00:02:00,316 --> 00:02:03,876
he's dead against war and famine.
30
00:02:05,636 --> 00:02:07,396
Ken, I felt like that for years.
31
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,595
Come on, love, it's Rachel's
party on Saturday
32
00:02:11,596 --> 00:02:14,475
I don't want you ruining it
with your mopey face.
33
00:02:14,476 --> 00:02:15,676
What mopey face?
34
00:02:17,476 --> 00:02:19,556
You mean the one where
I pout like this?
35
00:02:21,156 --> 00:02:23,515
Oh, Ken.
36
00:02:23,516 --> 00:02:25,156
You forgot your water.
37
00:02:39,716 --> 00:02:43,395
And Jen and Hannah, that's 28.
38
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:47,275
Mum, you do promise that you haven't
blabbed to anyone about Cuckoo?
39
00:02:47,276 --> 00:02:50,755
I promise. It is gonna be a
complete and total surprise.
40
00:02:50,756 --> 00:02:53,115
I can't wait to see people's faces.
41
00:02:53,116 --> 00:02:55,196
I go away for my gap year
and I come back married.
42
00:02:55,197 --> 00:02:57,995
Are Connie
and Steve bringing Zoe to the party?
43
00:02:57,996 --> 00:03:01,395
Ah, dude, have you still not made
a move on Zoe Chance?
44
00:03:01,396 --> 00:03:04,435
Mum, you know the only reason
he started lifeguarding
45
00:03:04,436 --> 00:03:07,395
was so he could perve on Zoe
in her swimming costume.
46
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:10,115
Dylan.
I am a lifeguard, I'm guarding her.
47
00:03:10,116 --> 00:03:13,036
If I don't stare at her
she might drown.
48
00:03:14,276 --> 00:03:16,355
Dylan, where's my camera?
49
00:03:16,356 --> 00:03:17,476
Where did you last put it?
50
00:03:17,477 --> 00:03:18,595
In your hands.
51
00:03:18,596 --> 00:03:19,714
I gave it you back.
52
00:03:19,715 --> 00:03:20,914
I don't remember that.
53
00:03:20,915 --> 00:03:22,196
Because you're senile.
54
00:03:22,197 --> 00:03:23,595
Right, listen, everyone,
55
00:03:23,596 --> 00:03:26,555
I thought tonight we might have
a family meeting. Oh...
56
00:03:26,556 --> 00:03:28,676
We don't have to do this,
the camera's in my room.
57
00:03:28,677 --> 00:03:31,356
It's not about the camera or Dylan.
58
00:03:32,716 --> 00:03:33,916
Is this about Cuckoo?
59
00:03:33,917 --> 00:03:35,276
No...
60
00:03:36,516 --> 00:03:38,875
Well, in a way.
61
00:03:38,876 --> 00:03:41,595
It's just a meeting
because well, you know,
62
00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:43,994
the family has a new member,
which I'm delighted about,
63
00:03:43,995 --> 00:03:46,156
and we need to introduce him
to how we do things.
64
00:03:46,157 --> 00:03:48,795
That's all. No agenda.
65
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:51,276
I hope not, Dad, cos Cuckoo and I
don't have to live here.
66
00:03:51,277 --> 00:03:53,235
Don't you?
67
00:03:53,236 --> 00:03:56,675
No, we could live on the street
and be just as happy.
68
00:03:56,676 --> 00:03:58,715
We only stay here so you
and Mum don't worry.
69
00:03:58,716 --> 00:04:00,396
We would worry, Ken.
70
00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:09,835
If Dad starts complaining
just be strong,
71
00:04:09,836 --> 00:04:12,995
don't let him
exploit your sweet nature, OK?
72
00:04:12,996 --> 00:04:14,795
Yeah.
73
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,435
Well, Ken can be a little
old-fashioned, bless him,
74
00:04:17,436 --> 00:04:21,195
but without him I wouldn't have you,
75
00:04:21,196 --> 00:04:26,275
or a new home, or this,
my new calling.
76
00:04:26,276 --> 00:04:31,155
My whole life I've been searching
for a way to change the world,
77
00:04:31,156 --> 00:04:34,035
Rach, it's potatoes.
78
00:04:34,036 --> 00:04:36,755
I mean, people will come to me
for sustenance
79
00:04:36,756 --> 00:04:40,395
and while they wait I'll spread
my message of joy, togetherness
80
00:04:40,396 --> 00:04:42,795
and war against the state.
81
00:04:42,796 --> 00:04:45,076
How did I ever get you?
82
00:04:49,916 --> 00:04:52,075
If a fast food van can save
the world,
83
00:04:52,076 --> 00:04:55,316
and I think it can,
then this is the van to do it.
84
00:04:57,876 --> 00:04:59,316
And it will do it.
85
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:06,435
So, Cuckoo, family meetings are
opportunity to bring up any problems
86
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:08,715
we may have with each other.
87
00:05:08,716 --> 00:05:11,835
It's basically a glorified
way for Dad to boss us around.
88
00:05:11,836 --> 00:05:15,235
That's not fair, Rachel.
This is a two-way process.
89
00:05:15,236 --> 00:05:17,275
Anyone can say
anything about anyone, yeah?
90
00:05:17,276 --> 00:05:21,035
It's not targeted at any
individual in particular, OK?
91
00:05:21,036 --> 00:05:22,115
Sounds great.
92
00:05:22,116 --> 00:05:24,995
Fuck, yeah, family meeting!
93
00:05:24,996 --> 00:05:31,315
So, any tensions? Any problems?
Rachel? Dylan?
94
00:05:31,316 --> 00:05:32,515
No-one?
95
00:05:32,516 --> 00:05:35,075
OK, Cuckoo, Lorna
and I were a little put out
96
00:05:35,076 --> 00:05:38,275
that you entered our bedroom
in your birthday suit last night,
97
00:05:38,276 --> 00:05:41,235
weren't we, Lorna?
It was weird, yes. Sorry, Cuckoo.
98
00:05:41,236 --> 00:05:45,195
Basically, overall, we prefer you
weren't naked in the house.
99
00:05:45,196 --> 00:05:48,235
OK. What about
when I'm in the shower?
100
00:05:48,236 --> 00:05:49,476
Then obviously.
101
00:05:49,477 --> 00:05:52,795
And what about
when I'm making love to Rachel?
102
00:05:52,796 --> 00:05:53,915
Also fine.
103
00:05:53,916 --> 00:05:56,715
And what about when I'm making love
to Rachel in the shower?
104
00:05:56,716 --> 00:05:58,116
That's adventurous.
105
00:05:59,756 --> 00:06:02,995
Also... Also fine.
OK, yeah.
106
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:05,756
Can you just give me
one second to process this, Ken?
107
00:06:11,476 --> 00:06:13,555
OK, fine.
108
00:06:13,556 --> 00:06:14,875
If it'll make you happy,
109
00:06:14,876 --> 00:06:18,595
I would be honoured to put
clothing on my body in your home.
110
00:06:18,596 --> 00:06:21,115
OK. Good, OK.
That's everything, thank you.
111
00:06:21,116 --> 00:06:25,635
Oh, Ken, I actually have a
request of my own.
112
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:29,395
Oh. OK, go ahead.
113
00:06:29,396 --> 00:06:32,315
I've been here a week now
and I've discovered that
114
00:06:32,316 --> 00:06:35,275
the best place for me
to meditate is in your study.
115
00:06:35,276 --> 00:06:38,755
It's so peaceful. You're welcome
to use it, with your clothes on.
116
00:06:38,756 --> 00:06:41,395
Yes, of course.
117
00:06:41,396 --> 00:06:44,555
The thing is, my meditation requires
a positive feng shui,
118
00:06:44,556 --> 00:06:48,916
so I would like it if you Ken could
remove all of your Nazi memorabilia.
119
00:06:50,156 --> 00:06:52,835
What?
You mean my books on World War II?
120
00:06:52,836 --> 00:06:55,555
The hoards of books
about the Nazis, yes.
121
00:06:55,556 --> 00:06:56,996
I mean, I don't mean to judge.
122
00:06:56,997 --> 00:07:00,995
I like history. That's why I've
got books on the Nazis, OK?
123
00:07:00,996 --> 00:07:04,715
No, yeah, I know, but I mean, how
much is there to know really, Ken?
124
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:07,035
I mean they came to power,
they invaded Italy,
125
00:07:07,036 --> 00:07:09,315
they died of influenza.
What?
126
00:07:09,316 --> 00:07:11,875
The point is, and you don't have
to agree with this,
127
00:07:11,876 --> 00:07:13,595
I think the Nazis were bad people.
128
00:07:13,596 --> 00:07:15,475
Yes, I agree.
129
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:18,635
And if I'm gonna be meditating
in a room full of Nazi energy,
130
00:07:18,636 --> 00:07:21,075
who's to say that I'm not gonna
become a Nazi?
131
00:07:21,076 --> 00:07:23,715
Dad, if Cuckoo isn't gonna be
naked in the house,
132
00:07:23,716 --> 00:07:27,115
I really think you should
put your books in the garage. What?
133
00:07:27,116 --> 00:07:28,516
Seems fair.
134
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:31,475
No. No? Yeah.
135
00:07:31,476 --> 00:07:33,435
Ken, it's just a couple of books.
136
00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:36,915
They are my books,
Lorna, and it is my study. No.
137
00:07:36,916 --> 00:07:39,235
Well, what happened to this
two-way process?
138
00:07:39,236 --> 00:07:43,515
Look, family meetings are to make
the rules up for you not for me.
139
00:07:43,516 --> 00:07:45,715
It's my house.
Our house, Ken.
140
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:47,155
It's our house.
141
00:07:47,156 --> 00:07:50,355
OK, well, here's an idea,
why don't we vote?
142
00:07:50,356 --> 00:07:53,195
Brilliant, let's do that, Ken.
Anything to get this over with.
143
00:07:53,196 --> 00:07:55,035
No. No vote.
144
00:07:55,036 --> 00:07:56,555
I suggest we all do what Dad says.
145
00:07:56,556 --> 00:07:57,635
Fine by me.
146
00:07:57,636 --> 00:08:01,115
OK, let's do that, Rach.
No. No. No, Dad.
147
00:08:01,116 --> 00:08:02,995
You're not getting away with this.
148
00:08:02,996 --> 00:08:06,355
You're always going on about how the
strong shouldn't impose on the weak,
149
00:08:06,356 --> 00:08:09,875
and here you are in your own house
lording it over everyone.
150
00:08:09,876 --> 00:08:13,595
You're like a dictator.
In fact you're like Hitler.
151
00:08:13,596 --> 00:08:15,675
The biggest Nazi of them all.
Yeah.
152
00:08:15,676 --> 00:08:18,675
You are a bit like Hitler, Dad,
you actually look like him.
153
00:08:18,676 --> 00:08:19,716
It's the eyebrows.
154
00:08:19,717 --> 00:08:25,475
All right, stop, stop!
All right, we will take a vote.
155
00:08:25,476 --> 00:08:27,915
Tomorrow night. Happy?
Yep.
156
00:08:27,916 --> 00:08:30,356
I do not have eyebrows like Hitler.
157
00:08:31,996 --> 00:08:34,196
Well, I don't know why there has
to be such a fuss.
158
00:08:34,197 --> 00:08:36,755
Why can't you just
move your Nazi books?
159
00:08:36,756 --> 00:08:38,154
It's not about the books, Lorna.
160
00:08:38,155 --> 00:08:39,954
If we start letting them
tell us what to do
161
00:08:39,955 --> 00:08:41,634
we lose control
in our own household.
162
00:08:41,635 --> 00:08:43,076
Those Nazi books are a symbol
163
00:08:43,077 --> 00:08:45,435
of all that's decent and positive
in our lives.
164
00:08:45,436 --> 00:08:47,315
You mean who rules the roost,
165
00:08:47,316 --> 00:08:50,675
who's got the biggest swinging dick,
you or Cuckoo?
166
00:08:50,676 --> 00:08:53,235
Well, I've seen them both and...
167
00:08:53,236 --> 00:08:55,075
What were you going to say?
168
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:58,275
You know what,
I've completely forgotten.
169
00:08:58,276 --> 00:09:01,315
Lorna, what were you going to say?
170
00:09:01,316 --> 00:09:06,835
I was going to say that yours
is by far the biggest,
171
00:09:06,836 --> 00:09:10,116
and I only hesitated because
I didn't want you to get complacent.
172
00:09:11,356 --> 00:09:13,956
OK. That makes sense.
173
00:09:26,116 --> 00:09:27,556
I got your text, what d'you want?
174
00:09:27,557 --> 00:09:29,554
Who said anything about wanting
anything?
175
00:09:29,555 --> 00:09:30,916
Come in, it's good to see you.
176
00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:32,955
Let's cut to the chase, the vote.
177
00:09:32,956 --> 00:09:36,515
Rachel will be with Cuckoo,
Mum will be with you,
178
00:09:36,516 --> 00:09:38,195
so I'm the deciding vote.
179
00:09:38,196 --> 00:09:40,155
Yes, but you know, Dylan,
180
00:09:40,156 --> 00:09:42,995
you've really grown up in the last
couple of years and I know...
181
00:09:42,996 --> 00:09:45,555
Here's the deal -
I give you my vote
182
00:09:45,556 --> 00:09:48,036
and you make Zoe come to Rachel's
party on Saturday.
183
00:09:48,037 --> 00:09:49,995
Colin and Steve's Zoe?
184
00:09:49,996 --> 00:09:51,675
You and her parents are friends.
185
00:09:51,676 --> 00:09:55,555
She's doing work experience with
you. You have influence.
186
00:09:55,556 --> 00:09:58,275
Why? So I can make my move.
187
00:09:58,276 --> 00:10:00,716
I thought you did lifeguarding
so you could make your move.
188
00:10:00,717 --> 00:10:03,715
Yeah, it can be hard to start
a conversation, she swims very fast.
189
00:10:03,716 --> 00:10:07,155
Yeah, Dylan, I'm not inviting a
16-year-old girl to a party for you.
190
00:10:07,156 --> 00:10:09,515
Well, then, Dad, I'm not
voting for you. Dylan!
191
00:10:09,516 --> 00:10:12,716
That's the deal, buddy.
Take it or leave it.
192
00:10:18,396 --> 00:10:19,955
Can you give me a lift home?
193
00:10:19,956 --> 00:10:21,156
Sure.
194
00:10:31,316 --> 00:10:33,276
Connie mentioned Rachel's
back in town.
195
00:10:33,277 --> 00:10:35,036
Hence the party tomorrow.
196
00:10:36,796 --> 00:10:37,835
How's Zeb?
197
00:10:37,836 --> 00:10:40,756
Fine, yeah,
enjoying university in Cambridge.
198
00:10:43,116 --> 00:10:45,355
What? What is it, Ken?
199
00:10:45,356 --> 00:10:48,755
Oh, no, it's just from what you said
people might get the idea
200
00:10:48,756 --> 00:10:50,676
that Zeb is at Cambridge University.
201
00:10:50,677 --> 00:10:52,675
But I didn't say that did I, Ken?
202
00:10:52,676 --> 00:10:55,755
I said he's at university
in Cambridge.
203
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:58,275
I'm not gonna change
my natural form of expression
204
00:10:58,276 --> 00:10:59,835
to suit twits and morons, am I?
205
00:10:59,836 --> 00:11:04,155
Ken, what are you doing here?
206
00:11:04,156 --> 00:11:06,555
Just hanging out
with my old mate Steve.
207
00:11:06,556 --> 00:11:07,876
Listen I've got to pop off,
208
00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:10,915
but I'll see all three of you
at the party tomorrow, right?
209
00:11:10,916 --> 00:11:12,115
Three of us?
210
00:11:12,116 --> 00:11:16,235
Yes, you, Steve and Zoe. The team.
211
00:11:16,236 --> 00:11:18,355
So lovely to see a family together.
212
00:11:18,356 --> 00:11:20,915
Thanks, but Zoe's got another party.
213
00:11:20,916 --> 00:11:23,755
Well, why don't you drive her to
the other party later?
214
00:11:23,756 --> 00:11:27,555
That really wouldn't be very
convenient for us, Ken.
215
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:28,636
Does it matter?
216
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,915
Thing is, I need to speak to
Zoe about her work experience.
217
00:11:33,916 --> 00:11:35,596
She's still coming
in the holidays?
218
00:11:35,597 --> 00:11:38,195
Yes, I just need to give her
the lowdown...
219
00:11:38,196 --> 00:11:40,675
the do's, the don'ts, safety policy.
220
00:11:40,676 --> 00:11:43,715
Health and safety will be
the death of us.
221
00:11:43,716 --> 00:11:47,035
Spot on, Steve, such a drag,
222
00:11:47,036 --> 00:11:50,315
but it does need to be
done at the party tomorrow.
223
00:11:50,316 --> 00:11:53,195
Yes, but Zoe's work experience
doesn't start till July.
224
00:11:53,196 --> 00:11:56,275
Can't it wait?
Not really.
225
00:11:56,276 --> 00:11:58,875
Intern, couple of years ago,
226
00:11:58,876 --> 00:12:03,355
she came in, ignored a regulation
on the first day...
227
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,515
and died.
228
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,795
She died?
229
00:12:05,796 --> 00:12:06,836
We were all very sad,
230
00:12:06,837 --> 00:12:10,435
but it does highlight the importance
of banging it in early.
231
00:12:10,436 --> 00:12:13,355
Well, OK, if you have to speak to
Zoe, you can do it now.
232
00:12:13,356 --> 00:12:16,115
What? Oh, it's fine,
she's just upstairs. Zoe!
233
00:12:16,116 --> 00:12:18,475
Connie, no, no.
234
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:19,595
Why ever not?
235
00:12:19,596 --> 00:12:22,515
I'm hungry, Connie,
my stomach is rumbling.
236
00:12:22,516 --> 00:12:24,436
Well, I'm sure
I can whip you up something.
237
00:12:24,437 --> 00:12:25,475
No.
238
00:12:25,476 --> 00:12:27,115
Well, it wouldn't be a problem.
239
00:12:27,116 --> 00:12:28,876
And you can talk to Zoe.
240
00:12:30,156 --> 00:12:31,636
I don't like your food.
241
00:12:34,156 --> 00:12:35,316
OK...
242
00:12:36,356 --> 00:12:40,395
Well, then
I suppose we'll bring her.
243
00:12:40,396 --> 00:12:43,475
That's fantastic news,
looking forward to it already.
244
00:12:43,476 --> 00:12:45,356
What a great girl.
245
00:12:50,036 --> 00:12:51,555
Right, the big vote.
246
00:12:51,556 --> 00:12:54,715
So who votes I get to
keep my books in my study?
247
00:12:54,716 --> 00:12:56,156
I do.
248
00:12:57,476 --> 00:13:01,556
Ah, looks like that's carried.
Thanks then, everyone.
249
00:13:04,956 --> 00:13:08,315
Well, congratulations, Ken,
you won and I lost.
250
00:13:08,316 --> 00:13:11,875
But democracy won, so, in a way,
we both won.
251
00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:14,115
But you lost.
252
00:13:14,116 --> 00:13:15,316
No, we both won.
253
00:13:15,317 --> 00:13:17,835
Yeah, but you lost.
254
00:13:17,836 --> 00:13:19,996
Come on, we both won.
255
00:13:21,076 --> 00:13:22,115
You lost.
256
00:13:22,116 --> 00:13:25,915
OK, we both won, bring it in.
257
00:13:25,916 --> 00:13:28,156
You lost.
258
00:13:30,996 --> 00:13:32,516
We both won. No.
259
00:13:37,916 --> 00:13:39,435
Hiya, Dad.
260
00:13:39,436 --> 00:13:40,476
Hi.
261
00:13:42,316 --> 00:13:45,235
Listen, I know we disagree on pretty
much everything
262
00:13:45,236 --> 00:13:47,155
that's important in the world...
263
00:13:47,156 --> 00:13:50,475
Sure. But you're so meaningful,
how you let us have that vote.
264
00:13:50,476 --> 00:13:54,195
Letting us
decide as a family in a fair way,
265
00:13:54,196 --> 00:13:57,116
just showed you respected me,
you know.
266
00:13:58,556 --> 00:13:59,835
No problem.
267
00:13:59,836 --> 00:14:01,835
I love you, Dad.
268
00:14:01,836 --> 00:14:03,275
I love you too.
269
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:06,915
I just miss the way we were
a little bit.
270
00:14:06,916 --> 00:14:10,196
I'm sure I'll get used to it
but I just...
271
00:14:13,556 --> 00:14:17,516
I could stay here all day.
Mm.
272
00:14:50,916 --> 00:14:54,555
Mum, you promise you haven't told
any of the guests about Cuckoo?
273
00:14:54,556 --> 00:14:59,955
I haven't, Rach, I have kept every
secret you have ever trusted to me.
274
00:14:59,956 --> 00:15:04,675
What about when you had that secret
kiss with your French exchange?
275
00:15:04,676 --> 00:15:07,875
Dad, did you know about my kiss with
the French exchange?
276
00:15:07,876 --> 00:15:11,835
Oui, Clement, Bastille night 2007.
277
00:15:11,836 --> 00:15:13,995
Well, obviously
I had to tell your dad.
278
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,276
I found out from Connie.
279
00:15:18,476 --> 00:15:20,435
Desperation Pour Homme?
280
00:15:20,436 --> 00:15:25,116
Dylan, go back and shower again.
You smell like Ricky Martin.
281
00:15:36,316 --> 00:15:38,675
Connie, hello. Hello.
282
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:40,915
Hello, Steve. Lorna.
283
00:15:40,916 --> 00:15:43,235
Oh, hello, Zoe.
284
00:15:43,236 --> 00:15:46,835
Ah, isn't this lovely?
So, Lorna, where's Rach?
285
00:15:46,836 --> 00:15:49,555
She'll be out in a bit. Yes.
286
00:15:49,556 --> 00:15:51,715
She's got a bit
of an announcement to make.
287
00:15:51,716 --> 00:15:54,795
Oh, right. Not pregnant?
288
00:15:54,796 --> 00:15:56,995
No! But close.
289
00:15:56,996 --> 00:15:59,235
Oh, got married then?
290
00:15:59,236 --> 00:16:00,276
Oooh!
291
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:07,316
What?
292
00:16:08,996 --> 00:16:10,514
So did you do anything this
summer?
293
00:16:10,515 --> 00:16:11,876
Yeah, I went camping with my dad.
294
00:16:11,877 --> 00:16:13,995
Oh, yeah? Whereabouts?
295
00:16:13,996 --> 00:16:15,675
Zoe, fancy seeing you here.
296
00:16:15,676 --> 00:16:17,875
Oh, Dylan, your dad made me come.
297
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:21,115
Really? That guy is so odd.
298
00:16:21,116 --> 00:16:23,035
Dylan, that's a gay name.
299
00:16:23,036 --> 00:16:24,236
What are you, like, ten?
300
00:16:24,237 --> 00:16:25,236
12.
Right.
301
00:16:25,237 --> 00:16:29,275
So, yeah, Zoe, I was just thinking
that this is a terrible party.
302
00:16:29,276 --> 00:16:32,755
Maybe you'd wanna go somewhere more
quiet so we could hang out?
303
00:16:32,756 --> 00:16:34,715
OK.
304
00:16:34,716 --> 00:16:37,435
Can I come? No.
Well, why can't Charlie come?
305
00:16:37,436 --> 00:16:39,835
Are you hoping to get me
on my own or something?
306
00:16:39,836 --> 00:16:44,235
What? No! No, obviously not.
Charlie can come.
307
00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:45,276
Come on, mate.
308
00:16:46,356 --> 00:16:47,515
Come on.
309
00:16:47,516 --> 00:16:50,795
Hi, Kelly! Oh, it's lovely
to see you.
310
00:16:50,796 --> 00:16:54,395
Hiya, Lorna. What's with
the potato van out front?
311
00:16:54,396 --> 00:16:59,395
My lips are sealed, it's all
part of Rachel's big secret.
312
00:16:59,396 --> 00:17:04,155
All I can say is it's very exciting
and life-changing and romantic.
313
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:06,996
She got married?
To the guy with the potato van?
314
00:17:11,036 --> 00:17:12,076
Oh, shit.
315
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,596
OK.
316
00:17:16,916 --> 00:17:20,355
I've told a few of you
that I've got really big news.
317
00:17:20,356 --> 00:17:22,916
Congratulations on your marriage,
Rachel!
318
00:17:26,196 --> 00:17:31,955
OK, yeah, I got married
to the most inspirational person
319
00:17:31,956 --> 00:17:34,875
I have ever met.
320
00:17:34,876 --> 00:17:36,236
His name is Cuckoo.
321
00:17:40,516 --> 00:17:44,115
Uh... Well, I guess, hi.
322
00:17:44,116 --> 00:17:45,355
Hi.
323
00:17:45,356 --> 00:17:47,556
Hello. OK, silence!
324
00:17:50,076 --> 00:17:52,035
Close your eyes.
325
00:17:52,036 --> 00:17:54,115
Go on, close 'em.
326
00:17:54,116 --> 00:17:57,155
Close your eyes,
close your eyes. Yes, yes.
327
00:17:57,156 --> 00:17:58,875
This'll be fun, trust me.
328
00:17:58,876 --> 00:18:01,076
Cue-Ball, close your eyes,
don't waste my time.
329
00:18:02,236 --> 00:18:03,515
Good.
330
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:08,915
I wanna talk about the word love.
It's hard to define, isn't it?
331
00:18:08,916 --> 00:18:14,315
It's not something we can touch or
eat or smell, but it exists.
332
00:18:14,316 --> 00:18:16,355
Scientists would have us believe
333
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:19,995
that love is just a bunch
of chemicals rushing to our brains.
334
00:18:19,996 --> 00:18:22,435
But if it were chemicals,
335
00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:25,915
why wouldn't these so-called
scientists just make some love?
336
00:18:25,916 --> 00:18:28,235
They could bottle it,
hand it out at parties.
337
00:18:28,236 --> 00:18:30,875
It would actually be really
awesome.
338
00:18:30,876 --> 00:18:36,955
But the truth is, we don't need
scientists to tell us what love is.
339
00:18:36,956 --> 00:18:41,075
I am love, and Rachel is love.
340
00:18:41,076 --> 00:18:44,635
And the love that is me
loves the love that is her,
341
00:18:44,636 --> 00:18:48,355
and together we bring forth
our love before all of you,
342
00:18:48,356 --> 00:18:50,555
who are also made of love.
343
00:18:50,556 --> 00:18:55,035
And our loves cross and inter-cross
and motocross
344
00:18:55,036 --> 00:18:57,515
and build into this
big old love Shreddie and...
345
00:18:57,516 --> 00:18:59,915
Oh, my fucking God, it's beautiful.
346
00:18:59,916 --> 00:19:06,115
Feel the love, be the love,
never, ever let go of the love.
347
00:19:06,116 --> 00:19:11,115
Which you can't anyways
because you are it.
348
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:12,436
Thank you.
349
00:19:16,236 --> 00:19:18,835
Also,
we're bringing the lamb out in a bit
350
00:19:18,836 --> 00:19:21,916
so if you can please
re-use your knives and forks.
351
00:19:25,876 --> 00:19:31,076
I've been watching you swimming this
term. You're really fast.
352
00:19:32,676 --> 00:19:36,755
Oh, thanks, and you've been doing
good lifeguarding.
353
00:19:36,756 --> 00:19:38,236
Hey, do you want a massage?
354
00:19:39,476 --> 00:19:41,955
Just I've been reading up on it.
355
00:19:41,956 --> 00:19:45,515
By coincidence, and
I could really use some practice.
356
00:19:45,516 --> 00:19:46,555
No, I'm OK.
357
00:19:46,556 --> 00:19:47,596
Massage?
358
00:19:48,636 --> 00:19:49,756
Great!
359
00:19:57,316 --> 00:19:58,876
Zoe...?
360
00:20:02,196 --> 00:20:03,276
It's time.
361
00:20:13,156 --> 00:20:14,556
Bit more on my lower back.
362
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,156
That's lovely.
363
00:20:22,196 --> 00:20:26,235
Oh, my God, look at you,
look at YOU!
364
00:20:26,236 --> 00:20:31,955
You're so thin and tanned,
not like you used to be.
365
00:20:31,956 --> 00:20:33,795
A right porker, weren't you?
366
00:20:33,796 --> 00:20:37,475
Wow, thought I was meant to be
the pretty one.
367
00:20:37,476 --> 00:20:38,635
You still are.
368
00:20:38,636 --> 00:20:41,075
I'm not.
369
00:20:41,076 --> 00:20:43,196
You fit bitch.
370
00:20:44,836 --> 00:20:46,555
Can't believe you got married.
371
00:20:46,556 --> 00:20:49,155
Weird coincidence,
because actually Toby and I
372
00:20:49,156 --> 00:20:51,395
have been thinking
about getting engaged.
373
00:20:51,396 --> 00:20:52,475
I haven't.
374
00:20:52,476 --> 00:20:56,355
Yeah, well we talk about kids' names
and stuff all the time.
375
00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:59,115
You do, when you're drunk.
I hate it.
376
00:20:59,116 --> 00:21:01,836
Anyway, very much on the cards.
377
00:21:06,196 --> 00:21:10,075
Regulation 13: when lifting heavy
boxes always lift from the knee
378
00:21:10,076 --> 00:21:11,715
and never from the lower back.
379
00:21:11,716 --> 00:21:12,676
Regulation 14...
380
00:21:12,677 --> 00:21:15,235
You've got a lot of Nazi books.
381
00:21:15,236 --> 00:21:17,795
Books about Nazis.
I'm interested in history.
382
00:21:17,796 --> 00:21:19,034
But this is really a lot.
383
00:21:19,035 --> 00:21:20,156
I'm not a Nazi.
384
00:21:22,636 --> 00:21:25,115
Regulation 14: never enter
the maintenance room
385
00:21:25,116 --> 00:21:28,275
without supervision
from the caretaker.
386
00:21:28,276 --> 00:21:31,035
There we go, all done.
387
00:21:31,036 --> 00:21:32,635
Is that it?
388
00:21:32,636 --> 00:21:35,795
Yep, ordeal over,
swill your mouth out on the way out.
389
00:21:35,796 --> 00:21:37,795
Like at the dentist.
390
00:21:37,796 --> 00:21:40,235
Do you fancy me or something?
391
00:21:40,236 --> 00:21:42,835
What? Because I'm looking for
an explanation
392
00:21:42,836 --> 00:21:45,835
on why you made me miss my party
for this crappy talk.
393
00:21:45,836 --> 00:21:47,475
Was it really so crappy?
394
00:21:47,476 --> 00:21:50,515
And the obvious one is you wanted to
get me alone in your study.
395
00:21:50,516 --> 00:21:52,436
What?
396
00:21:53,836 --> 00:21:57,235
Zoe, that is a scandalous accusation
397
00:21:57,236 --> 00:21:59,795
and one that I really hope you
keep to yourself.
398
00:21:59,796 --> 00:22:01,555
So what, you're just being weird?
399
00:22:01,556 --> 00:22:04,315
Well, if wanting to prepare
a friend's child
400
00:22:04,316 --> 00:22:07,635
for a potentially life-defining
internship is weird,
401
00:22:07,636 --> 00:22:08,914
then yes, I'm weird.
402
00:22:08,915 --> 00:22:10,636
You could say that I'm weird.
I'm weird.
403
00:22:10,637 --> 00:22:14,075
You're weird.
Yes, weird. Not a perv,
404
00:22:14,076 --> 00:22:16,556
just harmlessly strange.
405
00:22:19,396 --> 00:22:22,516
Mmm. Yeah. Go now.
406
00:22:30,636 --> 00:22:34,475
So yeah, I had it made in Vietnam
and it cost basically nothing
407
00:22:34,476 --> 00:22:37,355
and they were the sweetest kids.
408
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:40,435
Ah, it's such amazing news!
409
00:22:40,436 --> 00:22:44,715
Aw, Rach, I'm so happy...
and Cuckoo.
410
00:22:44,716 --> 00:22:48,795
Weird, though, because I always
thought you'd marry Zeb, our Zeb.
411
00:22:48,796 --> 00:22:50,076
I don't even know him.
412
00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:53,115
No, me. Really?
413
00:22:53,116 --> 00:22:55,155
Well, could still happen, though.
414
00:22:55,156 --> 00:22:57,116
I mean, this is a bit
whirlwind, isn't it?
415
00:22:57,117 --> 00:22:58,595
Could all fall through.
416
00:22:58,596 --> 00:23:02,475
No, Connie, we're really happy.
Yeah. Well, you never know.
417
00:23:02,476 --> 00:23:07,156
And when... if...
when it does happen...
418
00:23:09,396 --> 00:23:10,675
Zeb.
419
00:23:10,676 --> 00:23:12,276
Oh!
420
00:23:14,636 --> 00:23:16,595
I like her.
Ohhh!
421
00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:19,596
No?
422
00:23:40,356 --> 00:23:43,875
Hiya, Zoe. Bored?
423
00:23:43,876 --> 00:23:45,635
Yeah.
424
00:23:45,636 --> 00:23:47,636
So why don't you get off with Dylan?
425
00:23:48,796 --> 00:23:51,756
Might as well, not like there's
anything else to do.
426
00:23:53,396 --> 00:23:54,676
Hmm.
427
00:24:02,196 --> 00:24:05,556
D'you wanna... talk outside?
428
00:24:06,716 --> 00:24:08,075
All right.
429
00:24:08,076 --> 00:24:12,515
Dylan, Zoe, stop there.
We're gonna have a photo.
430
00:24:12,516 --> 00:24:14,836
Photo everybody?
431
00:24:16,516 --> 00:24:18,516
Come on! Come on!
432
00:24:22,396 --> 00:24:24,475
Right, let's get you four.
433
00:24:24,476 --> 00:24:26,835
Oh, no, Ken, come on,
you've gotta be in it.
434
00:24:26,836 --> 00:24:31,755
And I'll take this, let me take
this. Oh, thank you, Steve.
435
00:24:31,756 --> 00:24:36,755
Now, how d'you get the old flash on
this, on the...? Oh... Oh, no.
436
00:24:36,756 --> 00:24:40,075
I've got all your old
photographs up here, Ken.
437
00:24:40,076 --> 00:24:41,995
No naughty snaps of Lorna, I hope.
438
00:24:41,996 --> 00:24:43,396
Yeah, you wish.
439
00:24:45,476 --> 00:24:47,595
Ken, why have you got photographs
440
00:24:47,596 --> 00:24:51,596
of our teenage daughter in her
swimming costume on your camera?
441
00:24:53,516 --> 00:24:56,155
I haven't.
You do, Ken.
442
00:24:56,156 --> 00:24:58,635
What the hell is this, Ken?
443
00:24:58,636 --> 00:25:00,475
Oh, my God, you are a perv.
444
00:25:00,476 --> 00:25:02,116
Ken?
445
00:25:05,756 --> 00:25:07,036
Now look, Steve.
446
00:25:07,037 --> 00:25:08,915
Shut up!
447
00:25:08,916 --> 00:25:10,195
I'm gonna...
448
00:25:10,196 --> 00:25:11,516
I'm gonna...
449
00:25:16,796 --> 00:25:18,756
Chicken.
450
00:25:22,276 --> 00:25:23,316
Oh, OK.
451
00:25:24,436 --> 00:25:28,475
All right, everybody, listen.
I didn't take them, it wasn't me.
452
00:25:28,476 --> 00:25:30,796
If you tell them, I'll
tell Rachel you bought my vote.
453
00:25:30,797 --> 00:25:35,115
Thing is, I lent Dylan my camera.
454
00:25:35,116 --> 00:25:37,276
Dylan has a little crush on Zoe.
I fucking don't.
455
00:25:37,277 --> 00:25:39,435
Don't try
and fob it off on your son.
456
00:25:39,436 --> 00:25:41,555
OK, all right, all right,
everybody just relax.
457
00:25:41,556 --> 00:25:44,875
Now, Steve, look,
you have a very beautiful,
458
00:25:44,876 --> 00:25:46,915
very alluring daughter,
459
00:25:46,916 --> 00:25:48,834
and if Ken wants to take
a couple of pictures
460
00:25:48,835 --> 00:25:50,436
of her sweet little tush, I mean...
461
00:25:50,437 --> 00:25:52,155
Shut up, Cuckoo!
462
00:25:52,156 --> 00:25:54,155
Shut up! I was wrong.
Give me the camera.
463
00:25:54,156 --> 00:25:56,995
This is evidence. Give me the
camera, you stupid little man.
464
00:25:56,996 --> 00:25:58,116
Get off me, get off me.
465
00:25:58,117 --> 00:25:59,476
God's sake!
466
00:26:01,156 --> 00:26:04,035
Honestly.
Look at these pictures.
467
00:26:04,036 --> 00:26:10,315
Dylan, Dylan, Dylan's friends.
Dylan took these.
468
00:26:10,316 --> 00:26:12,116
He did it
when he was lifeguarding.
469
00:26:12,117 --> 00:26:17,435
Right, oh, honest mistake, Ken.
Sorry about the chicken drumstick.
470
00:26:17,436 --> 00:26:18,596
Come on.
471
00:26:23,236 --> 00:26:25,236
Wait, Zoe, wait.
472
00:26:27,716 --> 00:26:31,235
I know you're probably thinking
about getting me back for that.
473
00:26:31,236 --> 00:26:34,155
The thing is,
you've really matured
474
00:26:34,156 --> 00:26:36,596
over the last couple of year's son,
and I know...
475
00:26:39,596 --> 00:26:42,756
So this is what the garage
looks like.
476
00:26:46,396 --> 00:26:47,996
Peace offering.
477
00:26:53,436 --> 00:26:55,875
I forgive you, Ken.
For?
478
00:26:55,876 --> 00:27:00,396
For bribing your son to corrupt the
process of democracy in our house.
479
00:27:01,396 --> 00:27:03,475
Well, that is big of you.
480
00:27:03,476 --> 00:27:04,756
I guess it is.
481
00:27:06,156 --> 00:27:09,195
Ken, I've always considered
myself a teacher,
482
00:27:09,196 --> 00:27:15,635
and of all my students you're the
naughty, special one, aren't you?
483
00:27:15,636 --> 00:27:19,835
Lorna is the happy one,
Dylan is the dim-witted one,
484
00:27:19,836 --> 00:27:22,836
and Rachel is the one
I have sex with.
485
00:27:24,236 --> 00:27:25,955
A lot.
486
00:27:25,956 --> 00:27:28,916
Come on, let's hug it out.
487
00:27:32,316 --> 00:27:35,955
A big bite of juicy Ken steak.
488
00:27:35,956 --> 00:27:39,316
Haaaaaaaa...!
489
00:27:41,670 --> 00:28:10,263
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