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1
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Mom.
2
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Yeah?
3
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I still don't get it.
4
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Okay,sweetie,just relax,okay?
5
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Tell me the problem and I'll help you.
6
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They want us to explain the Cold War.
7
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come on,Ritchie.
8
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That's not hard.
9
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Why don't you explain it to him,then?
10
00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:18,540
Okay,all right,sweetie.
11
00:00:18,630 --> 00:00:23,560
So,there was a time,long before global warming,
12
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when the Earth-- our planet-- was very cold.
13
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It was so cold that it made people want to fight.
14
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Okay,next question.
15
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Ritchie,you'd have a better chance of getting it right if you left it blank.
16
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Don't worry,pal,I'm gonna pick you up a book,okay?
17
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-Okay.
-I- I'll do it,all right?
18
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:48,960
Barb,could you pick up a book for Ritchie on the Cold War?
19
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Sure.I'll also pick up a book on the Bay of Pigs,
20
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which contrary to what you taught Ritchie,
21
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did not take place at an all-you-can-eat luau.
22
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All right,sweetie,go upstairs,
23
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rest your brain and-- wait a minute.
24
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Don't forget,Wednesday is a pupil-free day at school,
25
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so maybe you want to invite a friend over.
26
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Who's your best friend these days?
27
00:01:07,300 --> 00:01:08,480
You.
28
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I'm his best friend.I'm his best friend.
29
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I love this kid.
30
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He's the cutest kid in the world.
31
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Okay,sweetie,you know what we'll do?
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We'll have burritos,and we'll eat ice cream,
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in honor of the Cold War.
34
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-Awesome!
-Yeah,cool.
35
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Okay,go upstairs,all right?
36
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-Barb will be up in a minute to read you a story.
-Okay.
37
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How about that kid.
38
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Yeah,how about him,Christine.
39
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He's got no friends.
40
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It's the saddest thing I ever heard.
41
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Sad?
42
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Why do I feel so happy?
43
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You should be encouraging him to hang out with kids his own age.
44
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What?I do.
45
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I can't help it if he loves me the best.
46
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Hey,any word on the heating situation in my room?
47
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:52,820
yeah,yeah,yeah.I'll handle it.
48
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,090
Barb,can you call someone to fix the heater in his room?
49
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Why me?
50
00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,460
You know,Barb,I already had one lazy husband,
51
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and you know what happened to him.
52
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:03,930
He lived happily ever after.
53
00:02:04,930 --> 00:02:07,420
Matthew,why don't you just sleep in here until the heater gets fixed?
54
00:02:07,470 --> 00:02:09,190
No,my feet hang off the end of the couch.
55
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And I need at least two locked doors between you and me.
56
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Don't kid yourself.
57
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I can get in if I want to.
58
00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:19,630
Matthew,why don't you just stay with us?
59
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Yes,please.
60
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We have a perfectly good guest room that no one will stay in.
61
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Yes,please.
62
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It might be haunted.
63
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That's why Christine's family never wants to stay with us.
64
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Yes.
65
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That's why.
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the.new.adventures.of.old.christine.
Season 4 Episode 17
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I can't believe I have to cancel my seaweed body wrap
68
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because of this stupid pupil-free day tomorrow.
69
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I know.I swear the more money we spend at this school,
70
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the more time we have to spend with our kids.
71
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Sorry I'm bringing you into such a terrible world,Will Smith.
72
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Wait.You found out you're having a boy?
73
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No fair!
74
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We said we were waiting.
75
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I just assumed I'm having a boy because I'm carrying small and my bottom hasn't spread.
76
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By the look of things,you should be working on girl names.
77
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,810
You know,Christine,that's the lost and found box,
78
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it's not the closeout sale at Merlins.
79
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Yeah,I think the store's called Mermans.
80
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It's Mervyns!
81
00:03:21,710 --> 00:03:23,490
And I'm not shopping,okay?
82
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I happen to be looking for something that I lost.
83
00:03:27,210 --> 00:03:28,050
Uh,you...
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you don't happen to have this in a size four,do you?
85
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,940
So,uh,listen,Christine,
86
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we will pay you $50 if you watch our daughters tomorrow.
87
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That should cover a day's paycheck for you,right?
88
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50 bucks?
89
00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,970
yeah,that's about in the ballpark.
90
00:03:46,050 --> 00:03:48,410
But as tempting as that offer sounds,
91
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Ritchie and I have a date tomorrow.
92
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proving there's someone out there for everyone.
93
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All right,come on.
94
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Let's go,girls.
95
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Hey,Ritchie buddy!
96
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How was school?
97
00:04:01,620 --> 00:04:02,270
Great!
98
00:04:02,350 --> 00:04:02,910
-Hey,Mom.
-Yeah?
99
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,760
Can my friend Justin come over tomorrow?
100
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:06,620
-tomorrow?
-Yeah.
101
00:04:06,710 --> 00:04:10,240
did you forget that you have plans with your other friend tomorrow?
102
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,100
Who?
103
00:04:11,190 --> 00:04:12,770
Me.
104
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:15,460
But Justin just got moved next to me in Mrs.Haddock's class,
105
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and he's my friend.
106
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:21,890
Well,then I guess you have a big decision to make.
107
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-Yeah,all right.Fine,go ahead.
-Thanks.
108
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-I'll go tell him.
-Okay.
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-Hi.Are you Ritchie's mom?
-Yes.
110
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I'm Francie,Justin's mom.
111
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:33,080
I'm Christine.
112
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-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.
113
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Great top.
114
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Did you get that at the lost and found?
115
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No.
116
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Why,is it yours?
117
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no.
118
00:04:41,660 --> 00:04:44,600
Well,then yes,I did.
119
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-This school has the best lost and found.
-Yes.
120
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,960
One time,I was looking for this cheap gold bracelet I lost,
121
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and I came away with a great watch.
122
00:04:52,650 --> 00:04:53,630
Okay,I'll do you one better.
123
00:04:53,700 --> 00:04:55,040
-One time,I lost my cheap watch.
-Yeah.
124
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And I found this gold bangle.
125
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:02,090
-my God.
-That's hilarious.
126
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,630
-You want...?
-thank you.
127
00:05:03,830 --> 00:05:06,370
anyway,so I guess our boys want a playdate tomorrow?
128
00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:09,420
-Yeah,I guess so.
-Justin's so excited.
129
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,960
You know,he doesn't have that many friends.
130
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Not 'cause he's weird or anything.
131
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,450
He's normal.
132
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I mean,at least,he tests in the normal range of kids like him.
133
00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:23,790
Well,you know what?
134
00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:27,510
I mean,I am certainly not one to judge anybody else's kids.
135
00:05:27,570 --> 00:05:31,020
You know,my Ritchie still wears floaties in the bathtub.
136
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All right,well...
137
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So,we'll see you tomorrow.
138
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Uh,come around noon and stay till 5:00?
139
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Uh,uh,we?
140
00:05:37,950 --> 00:05:38,550
yeah,yeah.
141
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,210
I like to stay with Justin at his playdates.
142
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Not 'cause he's a freak or anything.
143
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,730
All right,listen,he is a freak,okay?
144
00:05:45,890 --> 00:05:47,060
But he's so sweet.
145
00:05:47,140 --> 00:05:51,430
And,boy,if you want someone to count stairs,he's your guy.
146
00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:53,560
Come on!
147
00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,240
Hey,Matthew.
148
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Welcome to Casa de Richard.
149
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,550
No!
150
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,380
She doesn't love that.
151
00:06:04,450 --> 00:06:05,380
Come on in.
152
00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:06,510
thanks.
153
00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,570
And I just want you to know,you don't have to worry about me.
154
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I won't make any noise or eat your food,
155
00:06:10,690 --> 00:06:12,860
and I'll tell you you're pretty every morning.
156
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,370
This isn't Christine's house.
157
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You don't have to be afraid anymore.
158
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Matthew,welcome.
159
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Let me take your bag.
160
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I've put together a few things to make your stay more comfortable.
161
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You'll find a chenille robe,
162
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organic hand milled hypo-allergenic bath products.
163
00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:31,490
I have to apologize,the towel warmer in your bathroom is broken,
164
00:06:31,650 --> 00:06:35,850
but the fireplace in your bedroom keeps it nice and toasty.
165
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I would have dreamed of a place like this if I wasn't afraid to fall asleep at Christine's.
166
00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:42,780
How do you take your eggs?
167
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On a McMuffin.
168
00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:50,140
Why don't you make yourself at home,and I'll surprise you.
169
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You're gonna get waffles.
170
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I just don't understand why she has to come,too.
171
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It's a five-hour playdate.
172
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How am I supposed to entertain her?
173
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I can barely entertain myself for that long.
174
00:07:05,810 --> 00:07:07,700
Might be good for you to give this woman a chance.
175
00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:09,720
You could use another friend.
176
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I don't need any more friends.
177
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I got Ritchie and I have you.
178
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No,Ritchie just ditched you,and I need a break.
179
00:07:18,190 --> 00:07:20,890
What are you saying,Barb?
180
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I need a break.
181
00:07:24,390 --> 00:07:27,580
You know,uh,Barb,if you have something you want to tell me,
182
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why don't you just come right out and say it?
183
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:33,090
-Look,you know I love you.
-good.
184
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I thought you were gonna try to say something else.
185
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:42,080
Christine,I'm just saying that sometimes I need a little time for myself.
186
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Fine.Yeah.
187
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Just take as much time as you need.
188
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Take a whole hour,if you like.
189
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I'll see you later,Christine.
190
00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:04,010
Good luck to you.
191
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:06,190
Hey,hey,guys.
192
00:08:06,310 --> 00:08:08,530
Uh,Ritchie,Ritchie!Justin is here!
193
00:08:08,610 --> 00:08:10,310
My friend is here!He's here!I have a friend!
194
00:08:10,380 --> 00:08:12,790
Okay.Calm down,sweetheart,okay?
195
00:08:12,850 --> 00:08:15,060
Let's not scare our friend away,all right?
196
00:08:15,140 --> 00:08:16,810
Be cool,all right?Come on.
197
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:19,620
-Hey,guys.Come on in.
-Thanks.
198
00:08:19,690 --> 00:08:20,400
They're here!
199
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It wasn't a trick!
200
00:08:21,490 --> 00:08:23,420
I do have a friend!
201
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:27,470
-Come on in,have a seat.
-Okay,thank you.
202
00:08:27,570 --> 00:08:28,690
Sorry we're a little late.
203
00:08:28,770 --> 00:08:32,370
I spent the whole morning waiting for the guy to come and fix my washing machine.
204
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:33,680
He never showed,of course,
205
00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:35,460
which is why I'm wearing pajama bottoms,
206
00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:36,520
in case you were wondering.
207
00:08:36,610 --> 00:08:38,070
no,I wasn't wondering.
208
00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:40,110
I ran out of clean underwear myself this morning.
209
00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:43,470
That's why I've got my bathing suit bottoms on.
210
00:08:43,550 --> 00:08:44,510
Bathing suit.
211
00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:46,040
-That's a good idea.
-Right?
212
00:08:46,140 --> 00:08:49,370
I tied two bandanas together.
213
00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:55,490
When I pull down my pants,I look like a golden retriever.
214
00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,510
Um,you know what?
215
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,780
I was gonna do laundry myself this morning,
216
00:09:02,870 --> 00:09:04,560
but it sounds like you need it more.
217
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:07,330
So do you want to just go and grab your stuff and I can throw it in the machine?
218
00:09:07,410 --> 00:09:09,200
-That is so nice.
-sure.
219
00:09:09,290 --> 00:09:11,380
I'm supposed to have a job interview tomorrow morning.
220
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:16,920
I've already canceled twice-- Hey,wait,did my kid come in here with me?
221
00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:17,670
Yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah,yeah.
222
00:09:17,810 --> 00:09:20,600
He's upstairs with Ritchie,remember?
223
00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:22,230
good.
224
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:27,800
-Hard to keep track of them all the time.
-I know,I know.
225
00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,010
I know what you mean.
226
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,850
God,it's a miracle I've never actually lost mine.
227
00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:33,560
-You haven't?
-No.
228
00:09:33,630 --> 00:09:36,060
Wow,you're a good mom.
229
00:09:38,730 --> 00:09:41,770
Christine,I hope you don't waste your money on dry cleaning.
230
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:45,120
You know you can throw polyester right in the wash.
231
00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,800
These aren't my clothes,okay?
232
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,910
So they might not even be polyester.
233
00:09:50,130 --> 00:09:51,750
I'm just picking up Justin.
234
00:09:51,810 --> 00:09:53,080
Have another drink.
235
00:09:53,150 --> 00:09:55,700
Your son's name is Ritchie.
236
00:09:56,100 --> 00:09:56,970
I know that.
237
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,270
I'm doing Francie a favor.
238
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I got her dry cleaning and I'm picking up her kid.
239
00:10:00,630 --> 00:10:01,460
Why?
240
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:02,870
Because that's what friends do.
241
00:10:02,980 --> 00:10:05,910
Uh,you never do that for me.
242
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,980
I got pregnant for you!
243
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:10,960
That was eight months ago.
244
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,790
Barb,what-what are you doing here?
245
00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:17,940
I always pick up Ritchie on Thursdays.
246
00:10:18,020 --> 00:10:19,420
I thought you wanted a break.
247
00:10:19,490 --> 00:10:22,100
Not from Ritchie.
248
00:10:22,630 --> 00:10:24,220
yeah.Just from me.
249
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:28,170
Well,I'm here anyway 'cause I'm picking up Justin for Francie.
250
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,460
I think I'm her best friend.
251
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:32,020
Wow,that's sad.
252
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,330
No.
253
00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:34,960
No,that's not sad,okay?
254
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,310
She looks up to me.
255
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,180
Well,not physically.
256
00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:39,880
I mean,she's a foot and a half taller than me.
257
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,920
But emotionally,all right?
258
00:10:42,140 --> 00:10:45,800
You know how I'm kind of together and on the ball?
259
00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,350
You know how I'm a Rockette?
260
00:10:50,340 --> 00:10:52,710
Francie brings out the best in me.
261
00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:54,060
And guess what?
262
00:10:54,140 --> 00:10:56,110
I'm not taking a break from her.
263
00:10:56,210 --> 00:10:58,440
Christine,I didn't mean anything by that break thing.
264
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,270
Listen,I don't have time to debate this right now.
265
00:11:00,350 --> 00:11:02,250
All right,I've got to get Justin and Ritchie home,
266
00:11:02,340 --> 00:11:04,150
I've got to pack their lunches for tomorrow,
267
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:09,030
I've got to pick up Francie's pap smear results.
268
00:11:09,090 --> 00:11:12,910
And that's what you're missing out on,Barb.
269
00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:20,590
What are you doing?
270
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,550
What does it look like I'm doing?
271
00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:23,390
I would say ironing,
272
00:11:23,470 --> 00:11:28,120
but that thing's not plugged in so I don't know what you're doing.
273
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,290
Damn it!
274
00:11:29,380 --> 00:11:33,300
No wonder.God,I hate technology.
275
00:11:33,370 --> 00:11:36,970
Francie's got this job interview today and she asked me to iron her clothes.
276
00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:37,800
Why are you doing it?
277
00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:39,480
Because she is a mess,Matthew.
278
00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:41,210
She is totally reliant on me.
279
00:11:41,290 --> 00:11:42,510
She can't do anything for herself.
280
00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,990
I have never met anyone so self-absorbed.
281
00:11:45,050 --> 00:11:47,520
All she does is talk about herself.
282
00:11:48,030 --> 00:11:49,250
Any chance my heater's fixed?
283
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,520
And the worst part is,I am this woman's rock.
284
00:11:52,590 --> 00:11:53,600
-Wait,you?
-Yeah.
285
00:11:53,690 --> 00:11:54,650
You're not a rock.
286
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,730
At best,you're a dry clump of mud.
287
00:11:57,870 --> 00:12:02,620
I mean,it looks like a rock but then it crumbles when you touch it.
288
00:12:02,690 --> 00:12:03,210
I know!
289
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:05,260
And I thought it was like so great at first but I mean,
290
00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:07,500
it is just too much,you know?
291
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:09,010
I need a break from her.
292
00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:09,990
Hey,where's Barb in all this?
293
00:12:10,070 --> 00:12:12,930
She took a break from me.
294
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,270
I gotta ditch Francie.
295
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:15,560
And then you'll fix my heater?
296
00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,050
Enough about the heater!
297
00:12:17,130 --> 00:12:21,270
I mean,you've been going on and on and on about that since you got here.
298
00:12:21,350 --> 00:12:22,440
You're right,I'm sorry.
299
00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:24,150
I just came back to pick up some slacks.
300
00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:26,530
I'm not allowed to wear dungarees at the dinner table.
301
00:12:26,590 --> 00:12:28,100
Dungarees?
302
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:29,930
What the hell is going on over in that house?
303
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,320
Nothing,it's great,it's perfect.
304
00:12:31,390 --> 00:12:36,710
It's like The Four Seasons slash prison camp.
305
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:38,480
Sorry I'm late.
306
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,410
I've had the worst day.
307
00:12:40,490 --> 00:12:43,750
All right,Justin's upstairs.You didn't lose him.
308
00:12:43,820 --> 00:12:46,990
But listen,before you tell me about your latest cris,
309
00:12:47,060 --> 00:12:52,060
there is something that I want to talk to you about.
310
00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:54,890
Okay,listen...
311
00:12:55,090 --> 00:13:00,100
Francie,I'm sure that whatever is going on with you is very,very upsetting,
312
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,510
but I really don't have time to hear it this time.
313
00:13:02,590 --> 00:13:03,890
I want to tell you something.
314
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,190
My grandma died.
315
00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,140
Yeah,of course she did.
316
00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:13,920
Why do these things always happen to me?!
317
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,600
Nice slacks.
318
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:20,690
Where's your jacket?
319
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,680
What?I don't own a jacket.
320
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:25,670
This is my first pair of slacks.
321
00:13:25,780 --> 00:13:29,550
I left the tag on so I can take them back after dinner.
322
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:33,190
well,when we eat in the ding room New Christine makes me wear a jacket.
323
00:13:33,390 --> 00:13:35,030
Maybe she won't notice.
324
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,480
Hi,Matthew,you look nice.
325
00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:39,750
Where's your jacket?
326
00:13:39,770 --> 00:13:42,390
I'm sorry.I didn't know dinner was going to be so fancy.
327
00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:45,100
You don't even have to wear pants to the table at Christine's.
328
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,810
Well,she doesn't.
329
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,630
When I drop a fork I just leave it.
330
00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:52,340
When we eat in the kitchen it's not as fancy.
331
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:55,220
But tonight we're eating in the ding room,so...
332
00:13:55,290 --> 00:13:57,470
Do you want me to eat in the kitchen?
333
00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:58,710
No,don't be silly.
334
00:13:58,780 --> 00:14:00,030
I'll get you a jacket.
335
00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:01,260
I'd say 42 long.
336
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,570
I'll be right back.
337
00:14:03,940 --> 00:14:05,500
Is she going to buy me a jacket?
338
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,500
No,she keeps extras for guests who were "raised by wolves.
339
00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:10,900
" It's scary here.
340
00:14:10,990 --> 00:14:13,050
Eh,so you put up with a little more formality.
341
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,760
Besides,casual Friday's coming up.
342
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,700
You can wear chinos.
343
00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:20,260
Here we go.
344
00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:23,730
That'll make you look like a person.
345
00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:24,720
Uh-Richard.
346
00:14:24,810 --> 00:14:25,470
What?
347
00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:28,110
I look like a person.
348
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:30,100
No,I don't see flowers on the table.
349
00:14:30,180 --> 00:14:31,430
shoot.
350
00:14:31,510 --> 00:14:32,480
I forgot.
351
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,220
But I'm wearing socks.
352
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,610
And the barn door is not open.
353
00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,690
Well,thanks for that.
354
00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,680
I'll just run out to the flower market.
355
00:14:42,750 --> 00:14:45,960
Matthew,barn door.
356
00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:52,090
To the good life.
357
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,410
Use a coaster; she'll go nuts!
358
00:15:00,030 --> 00:15:02,380
Uh-oh.
359
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:04,190
Uh-oh?Not uh-oh.
360
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:06,520
Holy freaking crap!
361
00:15:06,770 --> 00:15:07,990
It's just a little wine.
362
00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:09,270
She makes us wear jackets to dinner.
363
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,580
You think she's going to be okay with a wine stain on her favorite rug?
364
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:12,350
So,what do we do?
365
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:14,760
Okay,calm down.Calm down.Calm down.Calm down!
366
00:15:14,810 --> 00:15:16,680
Just stop...stop saying "Calm down!
367
00:15:16,740 --> 00:15:18,540
" Let's just get the stain out.
368
00:15:18,610 --> 00:15:21,450
Okay,okay,okay,one thing I remember her saying is: when...
369
00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:24,130
when it comes to wine,you want to blot,not rub.
370
00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:26,030
I think I've been rubbing.
371
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,670
Okay,okay,I've prepared for this.
372
00:15:28,740 --> 00:15:30,070
I have $10,000 in cash,
373
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,260
a passport and a fake mustache.I'll see you.
374
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,640
wait,wait,wait,wait,wait.
375
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:34,890
It's coming up,it's coming up.
376
00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:35,800
Okay,good.
377
00:15:35,870 --> 00:15:38,220
hey,what's that little thread?
378
00:15:38,300 --> 00:15:40,540
I'll get it.
379
00:15:42,830 --> 00:15:44,680
-What's happening?
-I don't know.
380
00:15:44,750 --> 00:15:48,390
-Stop pulling it!--Why?
-I can't.--I don't know.
381
00:15:50,210 --> 00:15:51,580
Christine,thank God you're here.
382
00:15:51,650 --> 00:15:52,590
Did you get everything?
383
00:15:52,650 --> 00:15:53,880
Yeah,I-I think so.
384
00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:57,450
Um,I got the tissues,I printed out directions to the cemetery,
385
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,130
I ordered food for when people come back to your house...
386
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:01,890
And I couldn't find a guest book,
387
00:16:01,980 --> 00:16:03,790
so I got an autograph book instead.
388
00:16:03,860 --> 00:16:11,000
Is there any chance your grandma was a fan of Hannah Montana?
389
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,690
You are a lifesaver.
390
00:16:12,780 --> 00:16:14,960
I don't know what I'd do without you.
391
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,510
What did you do without me?
392
00:16:16,570 --> 00:16:18,530
I was a mess.
393
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,740
Listen,can I ask you one more favor?
394
00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:25,280
I can't use a shovel in these heels.
395
00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:28,210
No,they want me to say a few words about my grandma,
396
00:16:28,290 --> 00:16:29,950
and I don't think I can.
397
00:16:30,020 --> 00:16:32,560
Would you mind?
398
00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:34,520
Would I mi what?
399
00:16:34,590 --> 00:16:37,760
Giving a teeny-weenie eulogy?
400
00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:39,390
Francie,you know,
401
00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:43,330
I think I've been a pretty good friend so far but this is really crossing a line.
402
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:45,290
I mean,I didn't even know your grandma.
403
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,980
-She would have loved you,Christine.
-Okay,fine,fine,fine.
404
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:50,760
Uh,what was her name?
405
00:16:50,830 --> 00:16:52,930
What did-- How did she die?
406
00:16:52,990 --> 00:16:53,990
What did she love?
407
00:16:54,070 --> 00:16:55,530
Nana...
408
00:16:55,610 --> 00:16:57,230
plane crash...
409
00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:59,290
planes.
410
00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:03,160
That looks great.
411
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:04,630
I don't think you can tell.
412
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:07,970
Yep,this hot glue gun's gotten me out of a lot of jams.
413
00:17:08,030 --> 00:17:11,190
Whenever I have to get something done really fast on a house I'm building:
414
00:17:11,270 --> 00:17:13,590
hot glue gun.
415
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,190
By the way,if you can avoid it,
416
00:17:15,250 --> 00:17:18,710
don't sit underneath that chandelier.
417
00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:21,170
There she is.Jackets!
418
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:27,560
Sorry that took so long.
419
00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:31,500
They didn't have nasturtiums,so I had to go with the peonies.
420
00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,010
What's the matter,Richard?
421
00:17:33,090 --> 00:17:34,810
You usually laugh when I say "peonies."
422
00:17:35,940 --> 00:17:38,410
Peonies.Yeah.
423
00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:40,940
-So,should we retire to the ding room?
-Yes,I'm starving.
424
00:17:41,020 --> 00:17:41,760
What happened here?
425
00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,130
Matthew spilled wine on the rug!
426
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:44,190
Dude!
427
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:45,580
I'm sorry,I have to live here.
428
00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:46,870
You spilled wine on the rug?
429
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:48,560
I just noticed you didn't use a coaster.
430
00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:50,090
He didn't use a coaster either.
431
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:51,790
Dude!
432
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:53,430
You spilled wine on my rug?
433
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:56,180
Look,I'm so sorry,it was just an accident,really.
434
00:17:56,260 --> 00:17:57,090
You can't even notice it.
435
00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:58,510
I glued it back together.
436
00:17:58,590 --> 00:17:59,710
Glued what together?
437
00:17:59,770 --> 00:18:00,960
Matthew unraveled the rug!
438
00:18:01,050 --> 00:18:02,440
Dude!
439
00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:06,430
Why do you think you can solve everything with a stupid glue gun?
440
00:18:06,510 --> 00:18:07,540
Look,I know you're mad.
441
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,250
But let's not take it out on the glue gun.
442
00:18:10,410 --> 00:18:11,920
Is this some kind of joke to you?
443
00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:14,530
Do you know how hard I work to make this house nice?
444
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,440
We always have fresh flowers,we always have clean sheets.
445
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:20,180
I bought 12 sport jackets for your animal friends.
446
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,210
-Christine...
-No,no,it's my fault.
447
00:18:22,270 --> 00:18:26,510
It's my fault for thinking I can have nice things in a home where people don't give a crap.
448
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,110
So,you know what?
449
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:28,620
From now on I don't give a crap.
450
00:18:28,700 --> 00:18:30,180
We'll use one fork for everything.
451
00:18:30,260 --> 00:18:32,700
We'll pour the salad dressing straight from the bottle.
452
00:18:32,770 --> 00:18:34,680
We won't use a top sheet or a dust ruffle.
453
00:18:34,750 --> 00:18:37,220
Hell,let's just climb into bed without showering.
454
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,520
We can sleep in our own filth.
455
00:18:38,590 --> 00:18:40,400
In fact,break out the chinos,Richard,
456
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:45,180
because from now on every day is Casual Freaking Friday.
457
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,650
I love how much work you put into this house,I really do.
458
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:55,540
But at a certain point it's hard to live like this.
459
00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:59,080
The rug and the coffee table are just things,
460
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,840
and things can be replaced.
461
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,700
I will buy you a new rug.
462
00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:05,010
How much did it cost?
463
00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:06,090
Five thousand dollars.
464
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,820
Your hardwood floors are so beautiful.
465
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,710
Why cover them up?
466
00:19:12,230 --> 00:19:13,680
I don't know what to say.
467
00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:15,720
I just want this house to be perfect.
468
00:19:15,790 --> 00:19:17,230
It is perfect.
469
00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:22,330
We don't need fancy rugs or ringless coffee tables and clean sheets.
470
00:19:22,460 --> 00:19:24,430
You know what makes it perfect?
471
00:19:24,490 --> 00:19:26,380
Us.
472
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:32,110
Everything in this house can be replaced except for our love.
473
00:19:32,230 --> 00:19:34,560
Richard,that's so sweet.
474
00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:36,350
You're right,I'm sorry.
475
00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:37,720
I don't care about these things.
476
00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:39,710
Everything here can be replaced.
477
00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:42,870
Well,everything except for my antique ding table.
478
00:19:42,930 --> 00:19:45,240
I love you,Richard.
479
00:19:50,550 --> 00:19:53,520
I'm gonna go.
480
00:19:56,090 --> 00:19:57,110
my God,Barb!
481
00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:58,910
-Thank God you're here.
-Of course I'm here.
482
00:19:58,980 --> 00:20:02,860
You left a message saying someone died and to get down here right away.
483
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:03,720
Who died?
484
00:20:03,780 --> 00:20:05,320
Francie's Nana.
485
00:20:05,390 --> 00:20:07,290
Damn it,I thought someone important died.
486
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:10,810
Not Francie's dumbass Nana.
487
00:20:11,030 --> 00:20:13,720
Sorry for your loss.
488
00:20:16,350 --> 00:20:20,520
Yeah,well,would you have come down here if I'd asked you to help me with a complete stranger's funeral?
489
00:20:20,580 --> 00:20:21,530
Yes,I would have.
490
00:20:21,590 --> 00:20:23,150
Yeah,well,that's why I didn't say it.
491
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:24,550
Wait,what?
492
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:26,760
I miss you,Christine.
493
00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,380
my God,Barb.You do?
494
00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:30,650
Yeah,I like being needed.
495
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,590
I didn't know what to do with myself without you.
496
00:20:32,660 --> 00:20:34,130
It's like I lost my purpose.
497
00:20:34,170 --> 00:20:36,190
Thank you,Barb.
498
00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:40,740
Can I ask you one teeny-weenie favor?
499
00:20:40,810 --> 00:20:46,340
What can I say about Francie's Nana?
500
00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:56,180
Looking at her,we know she wastall......
501
00:20:56,250 --> 00:20:58,550
and white.
502
00:20:58,650 --> 00:21:03,930
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