Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:04,400
hey,what are you watching?
2
00:00:04,410 --> 00:00:06,210
Uh,oprah.
3
00:00:08,150 --> 00:00:11,510
This woman adopted 17 kids.
4
00:00:12,650 --> 00:00:16,620
Then her husband died and oprah...
5
00:00:17,390 --> 00:00:18,760
Bought her a house.
6
00:00:18,770 --> 00:00:20,600
Give me the damn tissue.
7
00:00:22,170 --> 00:00:24,380
She is just killing me.
8
00:00:24,390 --> 00:00:26,450
Wow,I haven't seen you this
emotional since yesterday
9
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,030
when oprah paid for
surgery for the turtle lady.
10
00:00:29,040 --> 00:00:31,900
You didn't tell me
about the turtle lady.
11
00:00:31,910 --> 00:00:35,280
Barb,the woman looked like a turtle.
12
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:37,740
I didn't think you could handle it.
13
00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:42,320
I do not care for people who look
like things that aren't people.
14
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,470
god,I love oprah.
15
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,410
She is so happy and
generous and successful.
16
00:00:49,420 --> 00:00:50,960
You know what makes
her different from me?
17
00:00:50,970 --> 00:00:52,900
You just listed three things.
18
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,270
She doesn't let little
things bother her.
19
00:00:56,280 --> 00:01:01,470
You know,she believes there's an infinite amount
of happiness in the world and the more you give,
20
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:03,500
the more you receive.
21
00:01:03,510 --> 00:01:05,200
I'm gonna start being more like oprah.
22
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,820
This isn't going to be like the time when
you decided to be more like andy rooney?
23
00:01:08,830 --> 00:01:12,230
Because that got real
annoying real fast.
24
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,730
No,no,although I did think I made
some very interesting observations.
25
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,930
Why are cd cases so hard to open?
26
00:01:20,870 --> 00:01:21,660
Anyway,you know what?
27
00:01:21,670 --> 00:01:25,050
This is gonna be good for me 'cause I've
been thinking about this for a while.
28
00:01:25,060 --> 00:01:28,070
I'm gonna let go and
give back to the universe.
29
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:31,090
Hey,can you start by giving me back
the $100 you borrowed last week?
30
00:01:31,100 --> 00:01:33,990
Yeah,take it up with the universe.
31
00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:37,830
Hey,what's going on?
32
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,000
Nothing.
33
00:01:39,010 --> 00:01:41,390
Just stopped by to say hi.
34
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:45,120
And while I'm here I was wondering if I
could take our old couch out of the garage.
35
00:01:45,130 --> 00:01:47,380
I'm thinking about
moving into a new place.
36
00:01:47,390 --> 00:01:48,500
Sure,go ahead.
37
00:01:48,510 --> 00:01:50,650
When are you thinking you might move?
38
00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:53,190
I don't know. Tomorrow.
39
00:01:54,890 --> 00:01:56,720
You found an apartment already?
40
00:01:56,730 --> 00:01:58,090
I don't know.
41
00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:00,050
Bought a house.
42
00:02:00,340 --> 00:02:02,750
You bought a house?
43
00:02:02,770 --> 00:02:05,980
I don't know. I'm sorry.
44
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:08,400
What? What are you sorry for?
45
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:10,660
That's great. Congratulations.
46
00:02:10,670 --> 00:02:13,690
I don't know why you're making a big
deal of the fact that we bought a house.
47
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:15,790
W-wait,wait A... wait a minute."We?"
48
00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:18,320
Yeah,me and new christine,we're
moving in together.
49
00:02:18,330 --> 00:02:19,670
- Why are you freaking out?
- I'm not.
50
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:20,630
Stop yelling at me.
51
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,400
I'm not.
52
00:02:23,130 --> 00:02:24,360
It's just that it's big news.
53
00:02:24,370 --> 00:02:27,630
I can't believe you
didn't tell us before.
54
00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:36,950
Oh,my god.
55
00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,240
You told everyone except
you didn't tell me?
56
00:02:39,250 --> 00:02:42,110
I didn't tell you because I
didn't think you'd take it well.
57
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,050
I know how other people's
happiness can upset you.
58
00:02:46,110 --> 00:02:50,470
Richard,just because I enjoy other
people's unhappiness doesn't mean that
59
00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:53,090
I can't be happy when
other people are happy.
60
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,900
Besides,that was old christine.
61
00:02:54,930 --> 00:02:57,250
- You are old christine.
- No.
62
00:02:57,730 --> 00:03:00,720
I mean I've decided to let things go.
63
00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:04,140
There's enough happiness out
there for both of us,richard.
64
00:03:04,740 --> 00:03:06,190
What's your game?
65
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,240
There's pee on that couch,isn't there?
66
00:03:08,540 --> 00:03:10,990
No,no game,no pee.
67
00:03:11,010 --> 00:03:14,620
I'm giving the couch to the universe.
68
00:03:14,630 --> 00:03:16,820
So... I can't have it?
69
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:17,880
No,take it.
70
00:03:17,890 --> 00:03:20,190
Oh,because when you said you were giving it
to the universe, I didn't know if you meant...
71
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,490
- okay,yeah,go,go,go.
- Cool,thanks.
72
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:27,790
I wonder if oprah has to
deal with dumbasses all day.
73
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:30,510
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
proudly presents
74
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,990
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
sync:������
75
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,490
The New Adventures
of Old Christine Season03 Episode06
76
00:03:35,520 --> 00:03:36,850
does richard know we're coming?
77
00:03:36,860 --> 00:03:40,230
No,I thought I'd surprise them with
a batch of freshly baked cookies.
78
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,520
That's what oprah would do.
79
00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:42,930
That's nice.
80
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:44,930
What'd you put in the cookies?
81
00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:46,710
Nothing. I'm nice now.
82
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,870
Yeah,I'm still not eating a
cookie until I see you eat one.
83
00:03:50,870 --> 00:03:52,990
god,I love this neighborhood.
84
00:03:53,010 --> 00:03:55,510
The trees are so big; everybody
keeps their lawns so nice.
85
00:03:55,520 --> 00:03:57,940
You know,my favorite house
is around here somewhere.
86
00:03:57,950 --> 00:04:00,070
Richard and I used to
drive by it all the time.
87
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:05,800
Had this big front porch and a swing and
beautiful windows and this charming walkway.
88
00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:09,930
I ovulated every time I saw it.
89
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,640
- Right there.
- Right there.
90
00:04:13,290 --> 00:04:14,600
- What?
- What?
91
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:17,330
This is it.
92
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,770
Richard and new christine's house.
93
00:04:19,780 --> 00:04:21,480
No,this is my dream house.
94
00:04:21,490 --> 00:04:24,940
Richard and new christine
bought your dream house?
95
00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:28,540
You have got to be freakin' kidding me.
96
00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:33,350
let's just go.
97
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,770
Th-this house isn't that great.
98
00:04:35,780 --> 00:04:37,460
What's that smell?
99
00:04:37,470 --> 00:04:39,430
Night-blooming jasmine.
100
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,290
Oh,look it,they hung a seasonal flag.
101
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:45,850
Oh,right,for people who want
to pledge allegiance to cute.
102
00:04:46,210 --> 00:04:47,030
Let's get out of here.
103
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,160
No,we're not going anywhere.
104
00:04:49,170 --> 00:04:51,500
Are you going to kill him and
bury him under the jasmine?
105
00:04:51,510 --> 00:04:53,900
No,I am not going to do anything.
106
00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:56,210
I think she had a stroke.
See if she can smile.
107
00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,770
I can smile.
108
00:05:01,530 --> 00:05:02,670
I can't tell.
109
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:03,940
Make her say the alphabet.
110
00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:06,450
That's going to be a tough one,too.
111
00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:08,320
Look it,I am fine. All right?
112
00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:12,360
That dream was a thousand years
ago and I am letting it go.
113
00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:14,240
Besides,I've got a new dream now.
114
00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:18,840
It involves being evacuated to a red
cross shelter with jake gyllenhaal.
115
00:05:20,510 --> 00:05:23,800
Wait,what's the difference
between him and joaquin phoenix?
116
00:05:23,810 --> 00:05:27,050
One of them is joaquin phoenix.
117
00:05:29,870 --> 00:05:31,010
What are you guys doing here?
118
00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:34,320
If I'd have known you were coming
I'd have flown the welcome flag.
119
00:05:34,670 --> 00:05:36,090
Cute.
120
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:40,920
We wanted to welcome you to your new
beautiful home and I baked these cookies.
121
00:05:40,940 --> 00:05:43,180
Oh,you didn't have to do that.
122
00:05:43,190 --> 00:05:46,200
Yeah,it's for the universe.
123
00:05:46,210 --> 00:05:48,280
So...
124
00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:51,540
oh,for god's sakes,just
take the cookies.
125
00:05:56,900 --> 00:05:58,750
wow,this is quaint.
126
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:01,290
What's that smell? Is that food?
127
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:04,560
Yeah,new christine is
always baking something.
128
00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:06,690
So what do you think?
129
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:07,730
Do you like it?
130
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:10,810
Yeah,of course I like
it. You know I like it.
131
00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:12,750
It's my dream house.
132
00:06:12,770 --> 00:06:14,170
Thanks for the tour. We got to go.
133
00:06:14,180 --> 00:06:15,590
No,it's okay.
134
00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:17,420
What,what are you talking about?
135
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,610
I'm talking about when
we first got married.
136
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:22,380
Remember,you used to drive me to work
137
00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:26,270
'cause we only had one car and we
used to go pretend house shopping?
138
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:29,910
And this is the house
that I pretend bought.
139
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,790
Remember,you used to
say to me,"someday,baby,"
140
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,640
and then I used to stick my hand down
your pants while you were driving?
141
00:06:38,770 --> 00:06:40,970
I remember the hand.
142
00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:43,670
A-and I remember
crashing into the mailbox.
143
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:45,330
Oh,shoot.
144
00:06:45,340 --> 00:06:47,270
- Oh,this is that house.
- Right.
145
00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:48,920
Oh,christine,I completely forgot.
146
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,360
- Don't be mad.
- No,I'm not.
147
00:06:50,370 --> 00:06:51,610
You're furious. Oh,man.
148
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:54,270
No,no,I'm happy for you.
149
00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:56,150
- Seriously?
- Yep.
150
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,610
Enjoy.
151
00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:03,350
Oh,richard,why didn't you
tell me we had company?
152
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,500
I was just in the yard
picking some fresh herbs.
153
00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:06,760
If you need chervil,don't buy it.
154
00:07:06,770 --> 00:07:08,530
We have so much.
155
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:09,400
It's working already.
156
00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:12,270
You put out the goodness,you
get back some chervil.
157
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,380
Richard,why don't you hang the chervil
up to dry and I'll give our guests a tour?
158
00:07:16,390 --> 00:07:17,310
Can you believe this?
159
00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:19,120
I have a place to hang the chervil.
160
00:07:19,130 --> 00:07:22,920
In my old apartment I didn't even
have a place to hang my clothes.
161
00:07:23,950 --> 00:07:25,920
Sorry this place is such a mess.
162
00:07:25,930 --> 00:07:29,270
I've barely had time to arrange the
fresh flowers and put out the pictures.
163
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:33,450
Well,you know,your home is lovely,and
the couch seems to fit in perfectly.
164
00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:35,740
Oh,thanks so much for giving it to us.
165
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:38,390
All it took was a nice throw
and a couple of accent pillows.
166
00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,400
Once we got the pee smell
out,it all came together.
167
00:07:42,490 --> 00:07:44,820
So,uh,where do you hide the tv?
168
00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:46,220
Oh,no,this is the family room.
169
00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,750
No tv in the family room.
170
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,040
But it's such a nice room.
171
00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:51,960
Don't you want people to sit in it?
172
00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:52,980
We do other things.
173
00:07:52,990 --> 00:07:57,670
We talk,we tell stories,play
games,read-- family things.
174
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,690
You know you have an outlet right there.
175
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:03,450
Hi,mom.
176
00:08:03,460 --> 00:08:05,030
Oh,hi,darling.
177
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,270
You got to see my room.
178
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:07,610
- It's awesome.
- Really?
179
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:10,880
I got bunk beds,and last
night I slept in the top bunk,
180
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,680
and dad says next time,if I want,I
can sleep in the bottom bunk...
181
00:08:14,050 --> 00:08:17,590
And then next time after that I can switch
back and sleep in the top bunk,and then I can...
182
00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,680
yeah,yeah,I know what
bunk beds are,darling.
183
00:08:20,690 --> 00:08:21,900
Oh,I love it here.
184
00:08:21,910 --> 00:08:24,730
Oh,of course you do.
185
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,380
I'm gonna open up some wine.
186
00:08:27,390 --> 00:08:29,510
I'll get a bottle from the cellar.
187
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:32,230
You grab her legs,I'll grab her arms.
188
00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,420
We'll try to throw her on
the lawn before she explodes.
189
00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:36,980
Guys,stop it. I'm fine,really.
190
00:08:36,990 --> 00:08:39,450
You heard her say
they had a wine cellar.
191
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:40,850
Yeah,and that's wonderful.
192
00:08:40,860 --> 00:08:44,350
There's enough happiness and wine
cellars out there for everyone.
193
00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:45,960
Oprah wouldn't freak out.
194
00:08:45,970 --> 00:08:47,070
I'm not going to freak out.
195
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,370
Oprah doesn't like
wine as much as you do.
196
00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:52,740
Ernest and julio gallo don't
like wine as much as you do.
197
00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:54,920
Well,you know what? I'm not
going to let it bother me.
198
00:08:54,930 --> 00:08:58,650
It's actually kind of a relief to be
able to enjoy somebody else's good fortune
199
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:00,600
without hoping that
they get heart disease.
200
00:09:00,610 --> 00:09:03,680
I never did that,but I
know somebody else who did.
201
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:08,110
I can't believe she's got all her
pictures up and everything already.
202
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,420
I haven't even put my wedding
pictures in an album yet.
203
00:09:11,430 --> 00:09:13,850
guess there's no rush there.
204
00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,870
Oh,there's her dad.
205
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,650
slept with him.
206
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:22,100
Richard--
slept with him.
207
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,560
Is that her brother?
208
00:09:25,570 --> 00:09:27,870
Boy,he looks familiar.
209
00:09:32,090 --> 00:09:34,010
What the hell is this?
210
00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:36,070
Barb: Looks like a family portrait.
211
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,830
With my family.
212
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,570
Just give it to the universe.
213
00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:43,200
Sorry it took so long.
214
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:45,570
I had to cut the cheese.
215
00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:47,720
Richard,not every time.
216
00:09:48,590 --> 00:09:50,180
We have to go.
217
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,590
- You just got here.
- Yeah?
218
00:09:51,600 --> 00:09:55,930
Well,we're leaving,and it turns out I just
remembered I'm going to need that couch back.
219
00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:56,870
You said you weren't using it.
220
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:58,230
Yeah,well,I was wrong.
221
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,920
I am going to be using it in my
house per my new decorating plan.
222
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:05,490
You're not the only one who gets
to have a nice house,richard.
223
00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:06,700
Why are you doing this?
224
00:10:06,710 --> 00:10:07,880
Was it the "cut the cheese" joke?
225
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,790
No,it was not.
226
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,310
Barb,matthew,come on.
227
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,820
Ritchie,we're leaving!
228
00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:16,490
How are we going to get
this back to your place?
229
00:10:16,510 --> 00:10:19,280
Just do it!
230
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:25,650
you have a lovely home.
231
00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:34,530
Come on. Come on!
232
00:10:34,540 --> 00:10:35,760
Son of A...
233
00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:37,550
I thk init's stuck in the door.
234
00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:40,480
No,it... is...
235
00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:43,000
not... stuck...
236
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:46,180
in... the...
237
00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:51,330
damn it!
238
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,450
Is this where you wanted it?
239
00:10:56,710 --> 00:11:00,360
Yep. Perfect.
240
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,710
Welcome to my dream house.
241
00:11:11,930 --> 00:11:14,980
come on,come on,come on,come on...
242
00:11:17,650 --> 00:11:21,030
we probably should have used
those double doors to bring it in.
243
00:11:21,470 --> 00:11:23,030
It got through their door.
244
00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:24,570
Their door is bigger.
245
00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:26,050
Of course it is.
246
00:11:26,450 --> 00:11:29,390
Stupid tiny door.
247
00:11:31,630 --> 00:11:33,560
you stupid house!
248
00:11:36,380 --> 00:11:40,640
god,I hate this place!
249
00:11:48,930 --> 00:11:50,890
I don't watch her
show as much as you do.
250
00:11:50,900 --> 00:11:53,050
Does oprah do this kind of stuff a lot?
251
00:11:54,010 --> 00:11:57,430
Well,she's never been through the kind
of adversity that I have been through.
252
00:11:57,440 --> 00:12:02,960
Oprah grew up a poor black girl in rural
mississippi in the '50s with no parents.
253
00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:05,900
Yeah,well,I grew up in
the '70s with my parents,
254
00:12:05,910 --> 00:12:09,370
and I have a couch jammed in my door.
255
00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:12,730
I guess it's a tie.
256
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,470
I tried to be the bigger person.
257
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:17,270
You saw me.
258
00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,450
I tried to let it go.
259
00:12:18,460 --> 00:12:20,220
I was wonderful.
260
00:12:20,230 --> 00:12:24,550
But then I saw that picture of her and ritchie
and richard as this perfect little family,
261
00:12:24,570 --> 00:12:26,410
and I couldn't do it.
262
00:12:26,690 --> 00:12:27,890
I know,it's a bummer.
263
00:12:27,900 --> 00:12:30,430
No,it's more than a bummer. It's a lie.
264
00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:35,000
That picture makes it look as if she
is ritchie's mother,and she is not.
265
00:12:35,010 --> 00:12:39,040
you don't see me taking pictures of
myself and ritchie and my boyfriend.
266
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,680
You don't have a boyfriend.
267
00:12:40,690 --> 00:12:42,980
Oh,god,I'm so lonely.
268
00:12:44,150 --> 00:12:46,730
Look,I'm not saying you're wrong.
269
00:12:46,740 --> 00:12:49,800
And I think you've handled
yourself with great dignity.
270
00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:54,010
But they could have
a long life together,
271
00:12:54,030 --> 00:12:57,660
with a lot of pictures their faces
are going to be on christmas cards,
272
00:12:57,670 --> 00:13:01,300
screen savers,and now they
can even get stamps made.
273
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:04,480
Oh,maybe they'll go to knott's berry farm
and get one of those old-timey photos.
274
00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:05,590
Those are great.
275
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,220
I'm not a big fan of
the old-timey photos.
276
00:13:09,870 --> 00:13:12,090
They make me uncomfortable.
277
00:13:13,650 --> 00:13:17,680
The worst part is,is that they
do have the perfect little family.
278
00:13:17,690 --> 00:13:21,080
They have that dream house
with a family room and the...
279
00:13:21,090 --> 00:13:25,110
fresh-made food and a
place to hang the gerbil.
280
00:13:31,660 --> 00:13:34,480
no wonder ritchie loves
it there. Who wouldn't?
281
00:13:34,490 --> 00:13:36,890
Hey,come on,there's enough
happiness for everyone.
282
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:37,780
No,there isn'T.
283
00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:38,680
Of course there is.
284
00:13:38,690 --> 00:13:41,550
If richard and n christine
can live the dream,you can,too.
285
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:45,370
I don't even know anyone
who knows jake gyllenhaal.
286
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:47,390
But you're right. I know.
287
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:52,350
If oprah can make her dreams come true,then
I can make my dreams come true,too.
288
00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:56,640
I have a lot to be grateful for.
289
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,390
yeah,you have a gardener.
290
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,950
We are going to be the kind of family
ritchie can't wait to come home to.
291
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,850
Look at this,matthew. We built a bed.
292
00:14:18,860 --> 00:14:21,390
No,I built a bed and
you bossed me around.
293
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,170
As a family.
294
00:14:24,220 --> 00:14:25,200
Sorry I'm late.
295
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:26,920
Did oprah start yet?
296
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:28,600
Oh,my god,what happened?
297
00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:30,190
We built a bunk bed.
298
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,450
No,where's the tv?
299
00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:34,040
Oh,we got rid of the tv.
300
00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:36,850
I'm making this more of a family
room where we do family things:
301
00:14:36,860 --> 00:14:41,460
We're going to read and tell
stories and eat homemade meals.
302
00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:45,570
Christine,where is the tv?
303
00:14:46,060 --> 00:14:51,070
Barb,I'm committed to making
this house more,you know...
304
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,050
homey.
305
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:54,320
I'm not your homey.
306
00:14:54,730 --> 00:14:56,220
I want to watch tv.
307
00:14:56,230 --> 00:14:58,200
You know what I'm talking about.
308
00:14:58,210 --> 00:14:59,780
I think it looks better already.
309
00:14:59,790 --> 00:15:02,120
And look,we had our
family portrait done.
310
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:06,270
who did that to you?
311
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,050
I took it.
312
00:15:07,060 --> 00:15:10,270
That's as comfortable as
they get in front of a camera.
313
00:15:11,230 --> 00:15:13,610
Okay,let's get this bunk
bed up to ritchie's room.
314
00:15:13,620 --> 00:15:15,860
I want it to be there when he gets home.
315
00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:17,930
After this can we watch tv?
316
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:21,160
no,after this I'm getting my guitar out.
317
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:21,710
Oh,come on!
318
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:23,340
Come on,guys. Give me a break.
319
00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:25,270
I learned a new chord.
320
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,280
This is going to be so great.
321
00:15:27,300 --> 00:15:30,830
We are going to be one big happy family.
322
00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:35,340
it's not going to fit.
323
00:15:35,350 --> 00:15:37,330
What?
324
00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:41,250
I think you got a problem,homey.
325
00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,660
Ritchie,dinner.
326
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,260
Thanks for my new bed,mom.
327
00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:54,340
Oh,you're welcome.
328
00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:56,420
- What are we doing?
- We're eating dinner.
329
00:15:56,430 --> 00:15:58,540
- Where are we going?
- We're eating here.
330
00:15:58,550 --> 00:16:00,240
- Where did you order from?
- I made it.
331
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,630
- What are we doing?
- Okay,just sit down.
332
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,430
You'll understand as soon
as it starts happening.
333
00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:09,420
Okay,you know what?
334
00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:12,320
Before we eat,I thought we
could go around the table
335
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:17,300
and everybody could say why they are
thankful to be a part of this family.
336
00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:27,480
Amen.
337
00:16:29,150 --> 00:16:31,880
Okay,let's eat.
338
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,420
Oh,what the hell is this?
339
00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:36,770
It's shepherd's pie.
340
00:16:36,780 --> 00:16:38,940
Except I didn't have potatoes,: So I...
341
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,810
used macaroni.
342
00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:44,070
I didn't have meat,so I used,uh...
343
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,590
tuna.
344
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,380
Can you explain the raisins?
345
00:16:48,390 --> 00:16:51,720
Well,I can explain that
they are not raisins.
346
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:08,290
ritchie...
347
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,880
why don't you get your jacket...
348
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,700
and,um...
349
00:17:12,710 --> 00:17:15,980
uncle matthew and aunt barb are
going to take you out to dinner.
350
00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:22,280
Well,this was a disaster.
351
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:25,220
And worse news,now the raisins are gone.
352
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:34,750
Well,I oughtththere was enough happiness
out there for everyone,but there isn'T.
353
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,800
Richard's got it all.
354
00:17:36,810 --> 00:17:39,210
Well,at least he has heart
disease in his family.
355
00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:39,860
Christine.
356
00:17:39,870 --> 00:17:43,080
I'm not saying I hope he
gets heart disease,okay?
357
00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:46,650
I'm just saying that if he
does get it,that would be fair.
358
00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:50,640
Ah,who am I kidding? Life's not fair.
359
00:17:50,650 --> 00:17:51,850
You have a great life.
360
00:17:51,860 --> 00:17:56,140
I mean,yeah,you don't have a boyfriend
or a wine cellar or a nice house
361
00:17:56,150 --> 00:18:00,330
or the ability to cook
or depth or morals.
362
00:18:00,930 --> 00:18:01,930
But?
363
00:18:01,940 --> 00:18:04,180
Oh,yeah,you have a big butt.
364
00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:11,400
Okay,I'm ready.
365
00:18:11,410 --> 00:18:12,160
Where are we going?
366
00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:14,470
Some place with a tv.
367
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,370
Christine,you coming?
368
00:18:15,380 --> 00:18:16,970
No. Somebody's got to stay here.
369
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:19,510
The door is always open.
370
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,480
Why don't you put that picture
out front with the shepherd's pie?
371
00:18:22,490 --> 00:18:24,630
I think you'll be safe.
372
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:26,070
You guys go ahead.
373
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,860
I'll be fine,really.
374
00:18:27,870 --> 00:18:29,320
Why don't we go out the back door?
375
00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:32,210
Oh,you can'T. The tv is jammed in there.
376
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:47,860
Hello?
377
00:18:47,870 --> 00:18:49,490
No one's here.
378
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:52,020
Wait,what?
379
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:55,080
I'm not really in the
mood for company right now.
380
00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:55,680
Okay.
381
00:18:55,690 --> 00:19:00,350
I just brought your cookie plate back,with
a homemade pear and berry galette.
382
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,190
It's martha stewart's recipe.
383
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,750
You have to blanche the
pears and make a simple syrup.
384
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,200
The secret ingredient
is freshly grated nutmeg.
385
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:09,940
You can really tell the difference.
386
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:13,870
I'll just leave it.
387
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,560
Wait. What's happening?
388
00:19:18,230 --> 00:19:19,620
Nothing.
389
00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:22,360
I'm just having a hard time.
390
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:25,340
Yeah,well,I'm not
doing that great either.
391
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,600
I'll go.
392
00:19:32,190 --> 00:19:34,370
What?
393
00:19:34,730 --> 00:19:37,130
I'm so tired.
394
00:19:39,800 --> 00:19:40,330
Oh,uh,you know what?
395
00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:44,280
I should probably tell you that we had a
lot of leftover parts when we built this bed,
396
00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:48,150
so if you hear a creak you better
jump off of there right away.
397
00:19:48,660 --> 00:19:50,270
I don't care.
398
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,450
Let it crush me.
399
00:19:53,510 --> 00:19:55,610
What is the tter with you?
400
00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:58,380
I just can't do it.
401
00:19:58,390 --> 00:20:00,470
The pressure is killing me.
402
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,660
I've been getting up at 4:00 in the morning
to bake and clean and decorate and marinate.
403
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,810
I don't know how much
longer I can keep it up.
404
00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:08,260
What?
405
00:20:08,270 --> 00:20:11,320
I thought you liked
doing all that stuff.
406
00:20:11,330 --> 00:20:14,690
Sometimes I think it would be great to
just lay around and do nothing like you.
407
00:20:14,710 --> 00:20:16,740
- No offense.
- Oh,none taken.
408
00:20:17,610 --> 00:20:19,090
I was trying to be like martha stewart.
409
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:22,080
And then richard really
liked it,so I couldn't stop.
410
00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:24,550
I just wish I lived in a
crap hole like this place.
411
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:25,380
No offense.
412
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,950
Oh,none taken.
413
00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:30,760
I just want to make richard happy.
414
00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:33,500
I don't want to run him off
like you did. No offense.
415
00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:36,020
Okay,you know what?
That was your last one.
416
00:20:36,030 --> 00:20:38,350
Besides,we ran each other off.
417
00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:40,650
It doesn't take much
to make richard happy.
418
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:44,050
Okay,just take him for a drive once
a week,put your hand down his pants,
419
00:20:44,060 --> 00:20:46,430
you got him for at least 12 years.
420
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:48,430
I love him so much.
421
00:20:48,450 --> 00:20:50,070
Or that.
422
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:53,780
You know what? Forget
abo martha stewart.
423
00:20:53,790 --> 00:20:56,810
You can't live your
life like someone on tv.
424
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:58,890
That is a lesson I learned...
425
00:20:58,900 --> 00:21:01,130
five minutes ago.
426
00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:03,380
You can't look at what someone else has.
427
00:21:03,410 --> 00:21:07,290
You have to be grateful
for what you do have.
428
00:21:08,090 --> 00:21:12,150
Why don't we both go around
and say what we're grateful for.
429
00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:19,540
Well,I'm grateful for a wonderful
relationship,parents who love me,
430
00:21:19,550 --> 00:21:22,790
a great sex life,and a beautiful home.
431
00:21:24,010 --> 00:21:25,850
Amen.
432
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,330
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
proudly presents
433
00:21:28,340 --> 00:21:29,890
-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
sync:������
434
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:34,490
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
32940
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof