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1
00:00:03,575 --> 00:00:06,281
I've been so distracted lately,
2
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:07,881
mainly thinking about my marriage and...
3
00:00:07,934 --> 00:00:09,792
and blah, blah, blah.
You'll never leave him.
4
00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:10,941
Now focus up, girl!
5
00:00:10,966 --> 00:00:12,067
You're right!
6
00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:13,687
It's foolish to be talking at all
7
00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,822
when you bring out one
of your A-list personas.
8
00:00:15,858 --> 00:00:18,282
I mean, it's so rare for
the Samantha Kingsbury
9
00:00:18,317 --> 00:00:20,327
to make an appearance.
10
00:00:20,362 --> 00:00:22,929
Please, you sound just like my
ski instructor in St. Moritz.
11
00:00:22,965 --> 00:00:25,465
I don't know if I can
winter there again...
12
00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:28,268
Who is that?
13
00:00:28,303 --> 00:00:30,544
Her? That's Meredith Fields.
14
00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:34,044
She's the most interesting and
fabulous woman in Langley Falls.
15
00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:36,510
She can't be all that
if I, Samantha Kingsbury,
16
00:00:36,545 --> 00:00:37,644
never heard of her.
17
00:00:37,679 --> 00:00:39,479
Meredith's pretty amazing.
18
00:00:39,515 --> 00:00:41,748
She runs the best book club in town.
19
00:00:41,784 --> 00:00:43,250
[Scoffs] Book club.
20
00:00:43,285 --> 00:00:44,885
I pretend skied in Switzerland.
21
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,854
And she runs a charity to raise...
22
00:00:47,890 --> 00:00:49,289
Awareness.
23
00:00:49,324 --> 00:00:50,624
[Scoffs] Charities.
24
00:00:50,659 --> 00:00:52,692
It's all about podcasts these days.
25
00:00:52,728 --> 00:00:54,958
She's even got time for the homeless.
26
00:00:54,993 --> 00:00:57,564
Time? I have sex with the homeless!
27
00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,567
Roger, she's married to a dentist.
28
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:01,601
[Gasps]
29
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,083
I can't believe you haven't met her.
30
00:01:06,118 --> 00:01:09,743
Correction, she can't
believe she hasn't met me.
31
00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:11,182
Observe.
32
00:01:12,542 --> 00:01:13,526
Excuse me.
33
00:01:13,528 --> 00:01:14,581
Thank you.
34
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:17,050
Oh, I just adore the service here.
35
00:01:17,085 --> 00:01:20,003
Can I trouble you for a glass of water?
36
00:01:33,719 --> 00:01:34,684
Thank you.
37
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,403
Uh, before I order,
38
00:01:36,438 --> 00:01:38,638
you might want to get that couple first.
39
00:01:38,674 --> 00:01:40,340
They were here before me.
40
00:01:58,076 --> 00:02:00,043
Holy shit!
41
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:03,663
She is amazing!
42
00:02:03,699 --> 00:02:05,031
She thought I worked here.
43
00:02:05,067 --> 00:02:06,666
You kind of do.
44
00:02:10,206 --> 00:02:12,973
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
45
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,842
Good morning, U.S.A.
46
00:02:15,894 --> 00:02:19,429
I got a feelin' that it's
gonna be a wonderful day
47
00:02:19,481 --> 00:02:22,432
The Sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
48
00:02:22,484 --> 00:02:26,486
and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
49
00:02:28,574 --> 00:02:32,025
oh, boy, it's swell to say
50
00:02:32,077 --> 00:02:34,694
good... good morning, U.S.A.
51
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,029
Aah!
52
00:02:37,082 --> 00:02:40,033
Good morning, U.S.A.
53
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:46,673
Whew! That crossfit workout was amazing.
54
00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:48,708
Coach Trey is awesome!
55
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,127
Remember when he put a
protein bar against his crotch
56
00:02:51,179 --> 00:02:53,013
and pretended to Jack off
all over the yoga class?
57
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,097
So funny.
58
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:57,083
Oh, crossfit kicks so much ass!
59
00:02:57,119 --> 00:02:59,019
Give it a rest, Klaus.
You're not a crossfitter.
60
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,587
Yeah, but I'm totally gonna hit it
61
00:03:00,622 --> 00:03:01,723
when my shoulder feels better.
62
00:03:01,759 --> 00:03:02,731
Sure, fish.
63
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:06,142
Guys, check out my abs. Jeff, hit me!
64
00:03:06,194 --> 00:03:07,944
- Now me!
- [Gasps]
65
00:03:07,980 --> 00:03:09,213
Okay, plan...
66
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,607
we hit it hard today,
so let's say we relax,
67
00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:13,659
grab some protein,
then hit the sack early
68
00:03:13,695 --> 00:03:15,528
so we can crush tomorrow's workout.
69
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:18,614
Oh, yeah. I'm already hooked.
70
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:21,951
I am in for the swole enchilada.
71
00:03:21,953 --> 00:03:25,872
[All sigh]
72
00:03:25,924 --> 00:03:28,457
[Gasps]
73
00:03:28,493 --> 00:03:29,375
No!
74
00:03:29,427 --> 00:03:30,293
No!
75
00:03:30,345 --> 00:03:31,427
No!
76
00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:32,795
Roger, what are you doing?
77
00:03:32,847 --> 00:03:34,448
Samantha Kingsbury may not have been
78
00:03:34,484 --> 00:03:36,125
as fabulous as Meredith Fields,
79
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,544
but there has to be a persona
in here that could beat her.
80
00:03:39,103 --> 00:03:41,637
PTA rock star Mike Babcock...
81
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,473
the cool dad every mom at
school wants to sleep with.
82
00:03:44,526 --> 00:03:45,892
I mean, bang.
83
00:03:45,944 --> 00:03:48,311
Nobody's sleeping when
Mike comes a-creeping.
84
00:03:48,313 --> 00:03:49,529
Nope.
85
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:51,301
I'm just gonna have
to start from scratch.
86
00:03:51,336 --> 00:03:52,565
Come on, you'll drive.
87
00:03:54,343 --> 00:03:55,384
Where are we?
88
00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:56,786
Now you're asking?
89
00:03:57,683 --> 00:03:59,623
You're a real odd duck, Francine.
90
00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,991
Anyway, this is my
magical persona factory.
91
00:04:04,462 --> 00:04:05,828
Oh, my god!
92
00:04:05,830 --> 00:04:09,415
Funny you mention him. This
is where he was created.
93
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:11,503
Or, rather, she.
94
00:04:11,505 --> 00:04:13,469
No, he. God's a he.
95
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:14,971
And he's white.
96
00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:21,124
Francine: Roger, I have to ask...
97
00:04:21,176 --> 00:04:22,175
[Bleats]
98
00:04:22,210 --> 00:04:24,043
What is your electric bill?
99
00:04:24,045 --> 00:04:25,261
Don't worry about it.
100
00:04:25,297 --> 00:04:27,013
[Electricity crackling]
101
00:04:29,351 --> 00:04:31,935
All my characters are conceived here.
102
00:04:31,970 --> 00:04:34,887
I'm sure you recognize
some of my best work.
103
00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:37,890
And now, my best work
needs to be better!
104
00:04:37,943 --> 00:04:41,311
Like a chef, I must pick
the finest ingredients.
105
00:04:41,363 --> 00:04:44,388
All my work has led me to this moment...
106
00:04:45,283 --> 00:04:48,540
The most fabulous
persona I've ever birthed.
107
00:04:49,571 --> 00:04:52,622
And dry ice for effect.
108
00:04:52,657 --> 00:04:54,958
Get ready to meet...
109
00:04:54,993 --> 00:04:56,576
Raider Dave!
110
00:04:56,628 --> 00:04:57,827
Oh, overcooked it.
111
00:04:57,879 --> 00:04:59,963
Boy, you add just one
ingredient too many,
112
00:04:59,998 --> 00:05:01,748
and you end up raider Dave...
113
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:02,915
every time.
114
00:05:05,754 --> 00:05:08,666
All right, time for the morning work...
115
00:05:08,701 --> 00:05:09,941
ouch!
116
00:05:10,342 --> 00:05:12,429
My body... it's dead!
117
00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:15,502
Oh, my god! Why can't I move?!
118
00:05:15,554 --> 00:05:17,477
It must be from crossfit.
119
00:05:18,024 --> 00:05:18,902
Jeff?!
120
00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:21,112
Down here. I'm stuck, too.
121
00:05:21,137 --> 00:05:24,604
Do I hear that correctly?
122
00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:28,177
The entire family is unable to move?
123
00:05:28,179 --> 00:05:29,779
Klaus, thank god! Help us!
124
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:34,280
Oh, no. Klaus is in charge now.
125
00:05:34,316 --> 00:05:36,783
I can finally have that birthday party
126
00:05:36,818 --> 00:05:39,085
you didn't let me have two years ago.
127
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,820
We never stopped you from...
128
00:05:40,855 --> 00:05:43,089
yes! The party!
129
00:05:43,124 --> 00:05:45,842
It'll be my party,
130
00:05:45,877 --> 00:05:47,759
with my favorite food.
131
00:05:47,761 --> 00:05:49,361
My favorite drink.
132
00:05:49,363 --> 00:05:52,619
And everybody's favorite song!
133
00:05:52,654 --> 00:05:54,350
No! Klaus!
134
00:05:54,386 --> 00:05:56,352
I like to move it, move it
135
00:05:56,388 --> 00:05:58,204
-
I like to move it, move it
- My ears!
136
00:05:58,239 --> 00:05:59,772
-
Ya like to move it
- It burns!
137
00:05:59,808 --> 00:06:00,390
[Music stops]
138
00:06:00,415 --> 00:06:03,199
Oh, I can't do this to you guys...
139
00:06:03,235 --> 00:06:06,012
Without jacking that bass!
140
00:06:06,047 --> 00:06:07,814
-
... move it, move it
- [All screaming]
141
00:06:07,816 --> 00:06:09,315
I like to move it, move it
142
00:06:09,317 --> 00:06:11,234
I like to move it, move it
143
00:06:11,286 --> 00:06:13,820
[Classical music playing]
144
00:06:13,872 --> 00:06:16,656
Let's thank Sandra for
her choice this month.
145
00:06:16,658 --> 00:06:18,791
"Little Women" was just a delight.
146
00:06:18,827 --> 00:06:21,878
By the end, after all Jo
and the girls went through,
147
00:06:21,913 --> 00:06:23,830
it should called "Big Women."
148
00:06:23,832 --> 00:06:26,999
Big Women? Try huge.
149
00:06:29,838 --> 00:06:31,087
Mm.
150
00:06:31,139 --> 00:06:32,922
Cecilia Takaru's the name.
151
00:06:32,974 --> 00:06:35,758
Born on a sleigh ride
outside St. Petersburg.
152
00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:37,393
Closer to Tampa, actually.
153
00:06:37,429 --> 00:06:39,729
Or as us tampons like to call it,
154
00:06:39,764 --> 00:06:40,980
home of Hulk Hogan.
155
00:06:41,015 --> 00:06:43,232
- [Laughter]
- My goodness, what a gas.
156
00:06:43,268 --> 00:06:45,735
Studied literature at
space camp for four years,
157
00:06:45,770 --> 00:06:47,687
which, naturally, led me to franchise
158
00:06:47,689 --> 00:06:49,155
the chimdale Ikea.
159
00:06:49,190 --> 00:06:52,358
Not a stress-free job,
but I have a handle on it.
160
00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:55,278
Sorry, I blacked out.
161
00:06:55,330 --> 00:06:57,196
Oh, yeah, "Little Women."
162
00:06:57,248 --> 00:06:58,830
Alcott called it "Little Women"
163
00:06:58,883 --> 00:07:01,745
because she was challenging
the male-centric "Huck Finn"
164
00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:04,395
and the role of females
in a post-colonial America.
165
00:07:04,447 --> 00:07:06,706
Wow. Welcome, Cecilia.
166
00:07:06,758 --> 00:07:10,259
I'm not familiar with
the space camp curriculum,
167
00:07:10,295 --> 00:07:11,878
but wasn't "Little Women"
168
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,464
published 20 years before "Huck Finn"?
169
00:07:16,384 --> 00:07:20,052
In... in space, time is very fluid.
170
00:07:20,105 --> 00:07:22,488
As Einstein hypothesized,
171
00:07:22,524 --> 00:07:24,257
stuff from earlier...
172
00:07:24,292 --> 00:07:27,860
Might actually be from later.
173
00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:29,112
Pull it together.
174
00:07:29,147 --> 00:07:31,864
Einstein's theory of relativity.
175
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:36,119
And to come up with that
riding a strassenbahn in Vienna.
176
00:07:36,154 --> 00:07:40,127
I'd say it was a greater leap
for mankind than the moonwalk.
177
00:07:40,973 --> 00:07:42,408
[Retches]
178
00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:44,911
[Tires squeal]
179
00:07:47,415 --> 00:07:49,415
Roger, what are you doing?
180
00:07:49,417 --> 00:07:51,384
Cecilia Takaru is a lie!
181
00:07:51,419 --> 00:07:53,588
All of these personas are lies!
182
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,198
Well, yeah.
183
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,017
Masks!
184
00:07:56,053 --> 00:07:58,568
They cover up the fact
that I'm empty inside!
185
00:07:58,620 --> 00:08:00,176
Roger, that's not true!
186
00:08:00,228 --> 00:08:02,261
It took meeting someone
as real as Meredith
187
00:08:02,313 --> 00:08:04,063
for me to see I'm like an onion.
188
00:08:04,098 --> 00:08:06,229
When you peel away the
layers, there's nothing left...
189
00:08:06,792 --> 00:08:08,468
except tears!
190
00:08:08,503 --> 00:08:09,502
[Sobbing]
191
00:08:12,941 --> 00:08:13,906
Aah!
192
00:08:13,942 --> 00:08:16,359
What are you doing?! No!
193
00:08:18,182 --> 00:08:20,947
Die! All of you!
194
00:08:20,999 --> 00:08:23,282
This is agony!
195
00:08:23,284 --> 00:08:25,029
I programmed them to feel burning.
196
00:08:25,326 --> 00:08:28,003
Back to crazy! Aah!
197
00:08:29,090 --> 00:08:31,090
[Screaming]
198
00:08:34,179 --> 00:08:35,845
Why would you do this?
199
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,537
That was your life's work!
200
00:08:37,562 --> 00:08:39,298
That life is over.
201
00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:41,133
I'm done creating characters!
202
00:08:41,169 --> 00:08:42,957
I'm gonna live the rest of my days
203
00:08:42,982 --> 00:08:45,805
as the most boring
person on the planet...
204
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,073
Me.
205
00:08:47,108 --> 00:08:49,342
Well, you have to put on something.
206
00:08:49,377 --> 00:08:52,137
I can't drive you around
looking like an alien.
207
00:08:52,172 --> 00:08:54,480
Fine!
208
00:08:54,532 --> 00:08:56,482
Drive. Take me nowhere.
209
00:08:56,518 --> 00:08:58,926
It's the only place a nobody belongs.
210
00:08:58,962 --> 00:09:02,421
[Sobbing]
211
00:09:02,457 --> 00:09:03,956
[Car door closes]
212
00:09:03,992 --> 00:09:06,242
[Sirens wailing]
213
00:09:06,294 --> 00:09:09,128
[Explosion, glass shatters]
214
00:09:11,789 --> 00:09:14,339
[Roger sobbing]
215
00:09:14,374 --> 00:09:17,092
Oh, Roger, I can hear
you sobbing in there,
216
00:09:17,127 --> 00:09:18,960
and it's breaking my heart.
217
00:09:18,962 --> 00:09:19,824
[Crinkling]
218
00:09:19,849 --> 00:09:22,013
I also hear you rubbing on stuff,
219
00:09:22,049 --> 00:09:23,381
probably our groceries.
220
00:09:23,434 --> 00:09:24,597
Roger: Probably.
221
00:09:24,622 --> 00:09:28,220
Just put on the emergency poncho
and come sit up front with me.
222
00:09:31,108 --> 00:09:33,892
Formless and generic... just like me.
223
00:09:33,944 --> 00:09:36,445
Well, we can zhuzh it up a little.
224
00:09:40,784 --> 00:09:41,950
Much better.
225
00:09:42,522 --> 00:09:44,236
But you need some hair.
226
00:09:45,989 --> 00:09:47,155
Pretty.
227
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:48,840
Ugh.
228
00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:50,872
[Car door closes]
229
00:09:51,161 --> 00:09:53,900
I just know he did
something terrible to this.
230
00:09:55,415 --> 00:09:57,417
[Car door closes]
231
00:10:03,974 --> 00:10:05,307
[All squawk]
232
00:10:12,716 --> 00:10:14,349
Come on, Tony, pick up, pick up.
233
00:10:14,384 --> 00:10:16,718
You've been calling
people all afternoon.
234
00:10:16,753 --> 00:10:19,054
Face it, Klaus, no one's
coming to your party.
235
00:10:19,089 --> 00:10:22,157
Trust me, my boy Tony
always comes through.
236
00:10:22,192 --> 00:10:24,459
Hey, Tony! It's Klaus!
237
00:10:24,495 --> 00:10:26,795
Get your ass over here.
238
00:10:26,830 --> 00:10:29,698
There is a par-tay going on!
239
00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:32,318
Yeah, of course I'll
give you the the deets.
240
00:10:32,354 --> 00:10:34,836
See? He wants the deets.
241
00:10:34,872 --> 00:10:36,171
Okay, usual deets.
242
00:10:36,206 --> 00:10:39,140
Personal pepperoni
and small crazy bread.
243
00:10:39,176 --> 00:10:40,742
45 minutes!
244
00:10:40,777 --> 00:10:43,745
Oh, he can't wait to party!
245
00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:46,214
That's Tony, bro!
246
00:10:48,886 --> 00:10:51,219
I got a double half-caff cappuccino,
247
00:10:51,255 --> 00:10:52,387
extra whip for...
248
00:10:52,422 --> 00:10:54,222
Wait a second, there's no name.
249
00:10:54,258 --> 00:10:56,725
That's me. I don't deserve a name.
250
00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,093
Gah! This is awful!
251
00:10:58,128 --> 00:11:00,414
Do you know who I am? Make it again...
252
00:11:00,898 --> 00:11:01,997
For no name.
253
00:11:02,032 --> 00:11:04,065
Why don't you just go by Roger?
254
00:11:04,067 --> 00:11:05,450
There is no Roger.
255
00:11:05,485 --> 00:11:07,786
Roger is just a collection
of phony persona's
256
00:11:07,821 --> 00:11:09,738
to cover up an emptiness inside.
257
00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:10,989
You're not empty inside.
258
00:11:11,041 --> 00:11:12,874
You've just forgotten who you are
259
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:15,343
'cause you spend so much
time being other people.
260
00:11:15,379 --> 00:11:18,313
So what's a person do when
they've forgotten who they are?
261
00:11:18,348 --> 00:11:19,915
You could...
262
00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:21,991
Volunteer for something.
263
00:11:22,026 --> 00:11:23,945
They say the best way to find yourself
264
00:11:23,980 --> 00:11:25,563
is in the service of others.
265
00:11:26,006 --> 00:11:27,172
"Awareness.
266
00:11:27,224 --> 00:11:28,990
A-where's yours?"
267
00:11:29,026 --> 00:11:30,308
[Chuckles] That's clever.
268
00:11:30,344 --> 00:11:31,843
This speaks to me.
269
00:11:31,895 --> 00:11:35,008
That's the flier for
Meredith's charity gala.
270
00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:37,020
I don't think you should
be around the woman
271
00:11:37,073 --> 00:11:38,934
who's got you wearing
a mop on your head.
272
00:11:38,969 --> 00:11:40,798
She's exactly who I should be around,
273
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,825
'cause she knows exactly who she is.
274
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,489
Ooh, phone Jack installation.
275
00:11:44,524 --> 00:11:47,108
This guy sounds like he
knows who he is as well.
276
00:11:47,110 --> 00:11:49,277
Hmm, so it's down to these two.
277
00:11:49,279 --> 00:11:50,812
Piano lessons?!
278
00:11:50,847 --> 00:11:53,114
Wait, don't park in the CVS parking lot?
279
00:11:53,150 --> 00:11:55,951
This board is just
knocking my socks off!
280
00:11:58,455 --> 00:11:59,554
Okay, so...
281
00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:02,057
You take your water bottle, okay,
282
00:12:02,092 --> 00:12:04,459
and you just slide the label on.
283
00:12:04,494 --> 00:12:07,095
There. You just raised awareness.
284
00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:09,130
I think I felt it.
285
00:12:09,182 --> 00:12:11,113
Oh. Your bungee cord belt.
286
00:12:11,642 --> 00:12:12,867
[Groans]
287
00:12:13,335 --> 00:12:15,103
Look at your neat belt!
288
00:12:15,138 --> 00:12:17,138
Seems to have traveled on you.
289
00:12:17,174 --> 00:12:18,497
Thank you!
290
00:12:18,532 --> 00:12:20,170
And thank you for your help.
291
00:12:20,512 --> 00:12:21,977
Awareness is the first step
292
00:12:22,012 --> 00:12:25,246
before thinking about caring
about a specific thing.
293
00:12:25,282 --> 00:12:27,182
You crawl before you walk.
294
00:12:27,217 --> 00:12:28,483
Walk before you run.
295
00:12:28,518 --> 00:12:30,054
Pee before you sex!
296
00:12:30,089 --> 00:12:33,204
[Laughs] Someone's got spunk!
297
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,890
You're gonna do just fine.
298
00:12:35,926 --> 00:12:36,925
[Laughs] Oh!
299
00:12:36,977 --> 00:12:39,427
That means so much coming
from someone like you.
300
00:12:39,463 --> 00:12:41,648
Sometimes, I don't have
a lot of confidence.
301
00:12:41,683 --> 00:12:44,532
Don't be silly. You
can be whoever you want.
302
00:12:44,568 --> 00:12:46,034
You're so kind.
303
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,729
May I give you something?
304
00:12:49,389 --> 00:12:52,023
Well, what do we have here?
305
00:12:52,059 --> 00:12:53,341
Triangle.
306
00:12:56,179 --> 00:13:00,348
Now, isn't that a curious
way to look at someone.
307
00:13:00,384 --> 00:13:02,951
[Reel 2 Real's "I Like
to Move It" playing]
308
00:13:02,986 --> 00:13:05,053
Why didn't the pizza guy help us?
309
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,988
'Cause Klaus didn't tip him.
310
00:13:07,024 --> 00:13:08,123
An apple is a tip.
311
00:13:08,158 --> 00:13:09,257
[Doorbell rings]
312
00:13:09,292 --> 00:13:11,359
Thank god, somebody's here! Help!
313
00:13:11,395 --> 00:13:12,627
Yeah, party people!
314
00:13:12,663 --> 00:13:14,946
Help yourselves to some pizza.
315
00:13:14,998 --> 00:13:16,998
If anyone knows how
to make jell-o shots,
316
00:13:17,034 --> 00:13:18,500
there's a half handle of Popov.
317
00:13:18,535 --> 00:13:20,368
Klaus, who the hell are these people?
318
00:13:20,420 --> 00:13:22,886
Oh, just some people I know
through my friend Craig.
319
00:13:22,922 --> 00:13:25,540
You might know him. He has his own list.
320
00:13:25,575 --> 00:13:28,943
You invited perverts from
Craigslist into my house?
321
00:13:28,979 --> 00:13:30,945
I like to move it, move it
322
00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:32,447
ya like to move it
323
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:34,315
I like to move it, move it
324
00:13:34,351 --> 00:13:35,550
Babe!
325
00:13:35,552 --> 00:13:37,052
Dealing with my own thing here, Jeff.
326
00:13:37,104 --> 00:13:38,186
My glasses!
327
00:13:38,221 --> 00:13:39,354
Ya like to move it
328
00:13:39,389 --> 00:13:41,306
What's happening?! Something's wet!
329
00:13:41,358 --> 00:13:44,359
Oh, god! Something's wet!
330
00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:47,950
Nice to see you smiling
again and not starting fires.
331
00:13:47,986 --> 00:13:49,809
Did you do something to your hair?
332
00:13:49,861 --> 00:13:51,282
It looks like Meredith's, right?
333
00:13:51,318 --> 00:13:53,234
She says I can be just like her.
334
00:13:56,623 --> 00:13:58,239
Don't forget...
335
00:13:58,291 --> 00:14:00,492
you're supposed to be finding yourself!
336
00:14:00,544 --> 00:14:01,960
Yeah, yeah.
337
00:14:01,995 --> 00:14:03,545
Meredith! Meredith!
338
00:14:03,580 --> 00:14:05,663
Meredith! Meredith, hi!
339
00:14:05,716 --> 00:14:07,583
Oh. Oh, it's you.
340
00:14:07,962 --> 00:14:09,222
Is that my scarf?
341
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:10,635
Did you change your hair?
342
00:14:10,670 --> 00:14:12,552
I don't think so.
343
00:14:12,588 --> 00:14:13,388
Do you like it?!
344
00:14:13,468 --> 00:14:15,056
I have the same haircut.
345
00:14:15,092 --> 00:14:17,435
Uh, Mer, I've got the
band leader on the phone.
346
00:14:17,437 --> 00:14:19,605
I wrote some songs about
awareness. You want to hear 'em?
347
00:14:19,657 --> 00:14:21,735
You're probably already thinking
'em 'cause we're so similar.
348
00:14:21,770 --> 00:14:23,108
Oh, my god, that's so us!
349
00:14:23,143 --> 00:14:24,371
- Meredith?
- Yes?
350
00:14:24,423 --> 00:14:25,667
Yes? I mean... I mean,
why are you asking me?
351
00:14:25,702 --> 00:14:27,837
- I'm not Meredith.
- We have to move up the news plug.
352
00:14:27,889 --> 00:14:29,111
Did you think I was Meredith?
Do I look like Meredith?
353
00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:29,836
They need you on the air in five.
354
00:14:29,838 --> 00:14:31,940
Meredith, we've got big banner problems.
355
00:14:31,942 --> 00:14:33,274
Not now. I'm in the middle of something.
356
00:14:33,276 --> 00:14:35,401
Please, can you give us some space?
357
00:14:35,453 --> 00:14:37,153
Yes, can you all give us some space?
358
00:14:38,115 --> 00:14:39,497
Oh, right, sure.
359
00:14:39,533 --> 00:14:40,830
I'll... I'll just go busy myself...
360
00:14:41,456 --> 00:14:43,405
In o trash.
361
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:47,055
That dumpster's got to
be around here somewhere.
362
00:14:47,108 --> 00:14:49,792
Oh! Maybe it's in
Meredith's master bedroom.
363
00:14:49,794 --> 00:14:50,881
I'll just take a quick peek.
364
00:14:55,966 --> 00:14:56,931
[Smooches]
365
00:15:01,772 --> 00:15:03,371
What are you doing?!
366
00:15:03,406 --> 00:15:04,372
Mer-Mer?
367
00:15:04,407 --> 00:15:05,855
Is that my n?glig?e?
368
00:15:05,890 --> 00:15:06,967
I'm so sorry.
369
00:15:07,003 --> 00:15:08,109
I just admire you so much,
370
00:15:08,145 --> 00:15:10,111
and I saw it, and... and... and...
371
00:15:10,147 --> 00:15:11,646
oh, promise me you're not mad!
372
00:15:11,648 --> 00:15:13,663
What?! I'm extremely mad!
373
00:15:13,699 --> 00:15:14,749
We don't even know each other.
374
00:15:14,785 --> 00:15:16,701
- I mean, what's your name?
- Meredith.
375
00:15:16,736 --> 00:15:18,253
But that's my name.
376
00:15:18,288 --> 00:15:19,007
I know!
377
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,895
You told me I could be whoever I want.
378
00:15:20,930 --> 00:15:22,290
And I chose you.
379
00:15:22,325 --> 00:15:23,424
But I'm me.
380
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:25,160
Mm, sorry. You're already taken.
381
00:15:25,162 --> 00:15:26,661
I'd like you to leave right now.
382
00:15:26,663 --> 00:15:28,630
And I'd like you to give me your pants,
383
00:15:28,665 --> 00:15:30,632
because we're so
obviously the same size.
384
00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:32,233
Why are you acting like this?
385
00:15:32,269 --> 00:15:33,768
Gee, I don't know, Meredith two.
386
00:15:33,804 --> 00:15:35,627
Maybe it's because I'm standing here
387
00:15:35,652 --> 00:15:38,590
in my delicates like a crazy person!
388
00:15:38,642 --> 00:15:39,724
[Grunting]
389
00:15:39,759 --> 00:15:42,510
Oh, my god! She's out cold!
390
00:15:42,546 --> 00:15:44,612
What have I done? What do I do?
391
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:47,083
What would Meredith do?
392
00:15:47,350 --> 00:15:48,616
Of course.
393
00:15:49,253 --> 00:15:51,770
The answer's right in front of me.
394
00:15:59,748 --> 00:16:01,814
[Doorbell rings]
395
00:16:01,850 --> 00:16:03,116
Why, hello there!
396
00:16:03,168 --> 00:16:05,215
Sorry to bother,
397
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:07,793
but I'm looking for
one of your volunteers.
398
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,738
She didn't come home last night.
399
00:16:09,773 --> 00:16:10,993
Roger: [As Meredith]
Who's at the door, dear?
400
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:12,303
Oh, no.
401
00:16:13,093 --> 00:16:14,556
Well, I'll leave you two.
402
00:16:14,596 --> 00:16:17,530
I'm gonna go brush my teeth.
403
00:16:17,565 --> 00:16:20,633
Small circles, light pressure.
404
00:16:20,635 --> 00:16:22,385
[Both moaning]
405
00:16:27,559 --> 00:16:29,976
Roger, what the hell did you do?
406
00:16:29,978 --> 00:16:31,194
Where's Meredith?!
407
00:16:31,229 --> 00:16:33,823
Francine, everything's fine now.
408
00:16:33,858 --> 00:16:36,148
I put her on a barge, and now I'm her.
409
00:16:36,150 --> 00:16:37,483
A barge?
410
00:16:37,485 --> 00:16:39,569
You can't take someone's life like this!
411
00:16:39,621 --> 00:16:42,038
Why? Can't it just be
like when we were kids?
412
00:16:42,073 --> 00:16:43,573
Oh, Franny, we'd draw pictures
413
00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:47,086
with red oceans and green
skies and be who we wanted!
414
00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:48,543
And then play in the sprinklers
415
00:16:48,595 --> 00:16:50,026
till Mama called us for supper.
416
00:16:50,028 --> 00:16:52,298
Are you having a stroke right now?
417
00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:54,500
Forget it. I'm stopping this.
418
00:16:54,536 --> 00:16:56,269
That's barge talk, Francine.
419
00:16:56,304 --> 00:16:59,205
Roger, I am not going to sit here and...
420
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,425
[fog horn blares]
421
00:17:02,477 --> 00:17:06,012
Son of a bitch. He barged me.
422
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:10,079
Meredith, are you okay?
423
00:17:10,115 --> 00:17:12,585
Some lunatic kidnapped
me and dumped me here.
424
00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:14,949
Yeah, that's my friend.
425
00:17:14,985 --> 00:17:18,225
She's stolen your life.
She's running your gala.
426
00:17:18,260 --> 00:17:23,095
Oh, and she may be having
relations with your husband.
427
00:17:23,131 --> 00:17:25,197
No! My gala!
428
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:27,250
[Reel 2 Real's "I Like
to Move It" playing]
429
00:17:27,285 --> 00:17:29,168
Klaus, you've got to stop this party.
430
00:17:29,203 --> 00:17:31,037
The perverts have become emboldened.
431
00:17:31,039 --> 00:17:33,256
You've proven your point.
You have a crew, okay?
432
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:34,707
Now stop this!
433
00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:37,543
I don't know what's happening,
but I think I'm moving!
434
00:17:37,595 --> 00:17:39,045
Tell me it's a good guy, please.
435
00:17:39,097 --> 00:17:40,630
Even if it's not true.
436
00:17:40,682 --> 00:17:42,381
-
I like to move it, move it
- [Doll squeaks]
437
00:17:42,433 --> 00:17:44,717
Stan, Hayley, Steve, Jeff!
438
00:17:44,719 --> 00:17:46,116
Trey! Trey! Trey! Trey!
439
00:17:46,118 --> 00:17:47,219
Do I hear Coach Trey?
440
00:17:47,221 --> 00:17:51,190
Party's over. Now
pump up my workout jam.
441
00:17:51,225 --> 00:17:53,059
I like to move it, move it
442
00:17:53,111 --> 00:17:55,227
he like to move it, move it
443
00:17:55,229 --> 00:17:57,113
she like to move it, move it
444
00:17:57,148 --> 00:17:58,698
we like to move it, move it
445
00:17:58,733 --> 00:18:00,366
they like to move it, move it
446
00:18:00,401 --> 00:18:02,368
you like to move it, move it
447
00:18:02,403 --> 00:18:05,235
Three, two, one.
448
00:18:05,271 --> 00:18:06,405
Personal record.
449
00:18:06,457 --> 00:18:08,207
How did you know we were in trouble?
450
00:18:08,242 --> 00:18:10,326
After you didn't show up
for your second workout,
451
00:18:10,378 --> 00:18:11,824
I figured something
like this had happened.
452
00:18:11,859 --> 00:18:13,377
A lot of first-time crossfitters
453
00:18:13,379 --> 00:18:15,381
end up so sore, they can't move.
454
00:18:15,416 --> 00:18:17,133
It's the roofie of physical fitness.
455
00:18:17,168 --> 00:18:18,668
You should tell people
that when they sign up.
456
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,219
Hey, no problem.
457
00:18:20,254 --> 00:18:22,588
Now, I got to go back to my other job...
458
00:18:22,624 --> 00:18:24,757
As a terrible marine biologist.
459
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:28,144
See ya in the box!
460
00:18:28,179 --> 00:18:30,429
That's what we call the gym!
461
00:18:30,465 --> 00:18:32,598
[Classical music playing]
462
00:18:32,634 --> 00:18:35,501
[Drill whirring]
463
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,072
It's me... Jerry the dentist!
464
00:18:42,074 --> 00:18:43,819
[Cheers and applause]
465
00:18:43,854 --> 00:18:45,456
But tonight is not about me.
466
00:18:45,849 --> 00:18:48,004
Or the number-one
family dental practice
467
00:18:48,029 --> 00:18:50,449
in the Langley-Langston
-chimdale triangle.
468
00:18:50,501 --> 00:18:51,867
[Scattered applause]
469
00:18:51,919 --> 00:18:54,837
Tonight is about my wife.
470
00:18:56,341 --> 00:18:59,175
I give you Meredith Fields.
471
00:18:59,210 --> 00:19:02,178
472
00:19:02,213 --> 00:19:04,547
[Cheers and applause]
473
00:19:08,636 --> 00:19:11,497
Where does awareness come from?
474
00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:17,049
Tell us! Tell us where!
475
00:19:17,101 --> 00:19:18,667
The sky! Everyone look up!
476
00:19:21,616 --> 00:19:22,481
Get him!
477
00:19:22,517 --> 00:19:24,650
[Sirens wailing]
478
00:19:30,129 --> 00:19:31,657
Maniacs!
479
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:38,414
Hold it right there, imposter!
480
00:19:38,466 --> 00:19:40,416
I'm not the imposter! She is!
481
00:19:47,392 --> 00:19:48,841
Hey!
482
00:19:54,382 --> 00:19:55,414
[Sighs]
483
00:19:55,466 --> 00:19:57,333
Back to being nobody, I guess.
484
00:19:57,385 --> 00:19:59,143
Oh, Franny. How was the barge?
485
00:19:59,168 --> 00:20:00,123
Honestly...
486
00:20:00,638 --> 00:20:01,581
Pretty great.
487
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:03,389
Listen, I'm sorry.
488
00:20:03,424 --> 00:20:06,091
I know I went too far,
but being Meredith,
489
00:20:06,093 --> 00:20:08,644
it just felt so good to be someone real.
490
00:20:08,679 --> 00:20:11,180
But you were nothing like Meredith.
491
00:20:11,232 --> 00:20:13,232
I didn't even do that right.
492
00:20:13,267 --> 00:20:14,600
You were you.
493
00:20:14,652 --> 00:20:17,403
You're always you, no
matter who you're playing.
494
00:20:17,438 --> 00:20:18,664
'Cause the real Roger
495
00:20:18,689 --> 00:20:20,969
is at the core of all your characters.
496
00:20:21,189 --> 00:20:25,077
You are real selfish and real horny
497
00:20:25,112 --> 00:20:28,133
and real violent and real sensitive.
498
00:20:28,169 --> 00:20:30,012
And just really...
499
00:20:30,751 --> 00:20:32,268
Really amazing.
500
00:20:32,349 --> 00:20:33,382
Do you mean it?
501
00:20:33,847 --> 00:20:35,754
Do you honestly think I'm horny?
502
00:20:35,842 --> 00:20:37,353
The horniest.
503
00:20:38,711 --> 00:20:39,844
Thank you, Franny.
504
00:20:39,879 --> 00:20:42,013
You're not so not horny yourself.
505
00:20:42,048 --> 00:20:43,264
Where's the criminal?
506
00:20:43,299 --> 00:20:44,522
He's not a criminal.
507
00:20:44,574 --> 00:20:47,552
Unless it's a crime to
bleed silver and black.
508
00:20:47,587 --> 00:20:49,020
Raider Dave!
509
00:20:49,055 --> 00:20:52,223
This is our year! Raider
Nation will rise again!
510
00:20:52,225 --> 00:20:55,526
[Whooping]
511
00:20:55,576 --> 00:21:00,126
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