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1
00:00:02,258 --> 00:00:04,662
Okay, start to shut up, everybody.
2
00:00:05,146 --> 00:00:06,946
Here we go. Yeah.
3
00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:08,481
[GRUNTS]
4
00:00:08,969 --> 00:00:12,337
All right, come and get 'em, you dogs.
5
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,061
You are now free to begin learning biology.
6
00:00:15,129 --> 00:00:17,971
[UPLIFTING MUSIC]
7
00:00:17,971 --> 00:00:20,055
Yeah, get 'em. Get 'em.
8
00:00:20,869 --> 00:00:23,041
Yeah, bunch of animals.
9
00:00:23,599 --> 00:00:25,200
[CHUCKLING]
10
00:00:26,747 --> 00:00:28,931
You see, my plucky little cherubs,
11
00:00:29,216 --> 00:00:31,673
I am outta here.
12
00:00:32,486 --> 00:00:35,820
Yeah, our revenge mission was a success.
13
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:38,690
Miles is leaving his post at Stanford,
14
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,571
and I am to assume my rightful perch
15
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,373
atop the philosophy department
16
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,575
where my intellect will
be worshiped by students
17
00:00:44,644 --> 00:00:47,025
that don't dry hump
their pillows every night.
18
00:00:47,203 --> 00:00:49,771
Uh, it's my understanding
that an academic chair
19
00:00:49,839 --> 00:00:52,043
is more admin work than
actual student time.
20
00:00:52,215 --> 00:00:54,115
I'll miss you least of all, Scarecrow.
21
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,507
Does this mean we'll get
an actual biology teacher?
22
00:00:56,645 --> 00:00:58,344
Yes, yes, you're finally gonna be taught
23
00:00:58,413 --> 00:01:00,380
by someone who couldn't
get into med school.
24
00:01:00,405 --> 00:01:01,426
Can you even?
25
00:01:01,684 --> 00:01:02,749
[RAMONES' "LISTEN TO MY HEART"]
26
00:01:02,817 --> 00:01:04,350
One, two, three, four!
27
00:01:04,419 --> 00:01:06,886
? Next time I'll listen to my heart ?
28
00:01:06,955 --> 00:01:09,789
? Next time, well,
I'll be smart ?
29
00:01:09,858 --> 00:01:16,796
?
30
00:01:17,274 --> 00:01:18,264
Gosh.
31
00:01:18,333 --> 00:01:21,167
Seems like only yesterday
we were stumbling our way
32
00:01:21,236 --> 00:01:22,769
through our first Miles mission.
33
00:01:22,837 --> 00:01:25,071
[SNIFFS] Ah, so many good ones, you know.
34
00:01:25,140 --> 00:01:28,207
I liked the planting-his-DNA-
on-a-dead-body one.
35
00:01:28,276 --> 00:01:30,410
I still walk the Maumee River every morning
36
00:01:30,478 --> 00:01:32,545
- looking for a floater.
- Ah, do ya?
37
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:35,448
I certainly enjoyed our online love affair.
38
00:01:35,517 --> 00:01:38,117
He still thinks I'm a
32-year-old named Linda.
39
00:01:38,186 --> 00:01:39,273
[DRUM STICKS TAPPING]
40
00:01:39,298 --> 00:01:42,132
[DRUM LINE PLAYING]
41
00:01:42,157 --> 00:01:49,195
?
42
00:01:55,710 --> 00:01:58,964
Colin, will you go to the
Sadie Hawkins dance with me?
43
00:02:01,048 --> 00:02:03,382
- Uh-huh.
- Ya pranked!
44
00:02:03,407 --> 00:02:04,427
[RIMSHOT]
45
00:02:04,452 --> 00:02:07,520
[LAUGHTER]
46
00:02:08,890 --> 00:02:10,556
You really think that a drummer
47
00:02:10,625 --> 00:02:12,339
would go to a dance with a woodwind?
48
00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:16,095
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
49
00:02:16,164 --> 00:02:22,935
?
50
00:02:23,704 --> 00:02:26,272
Wow. Man, they must have
rehearsed the crap out of that.
51
00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:29,141
Now who's the chick with
the strong sense of self?
52
00:02:29,210 --> 00:02:31,343
- Her name's Dallas.
- She's the worst.
53
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:34,146
- The whole drum corps is.
- One time I yawned,
54
00:02:34,215 --> 00:02:36,519
and they threw my mashed
potatoes in my mouth.
55
00:02:36,519 --> 00:02:37,685
Now wait a second. Are you guys saying that
56
00:02:37,753 --> 00:02:39,386
the drum corps are the cool kids?
57
00:02:39,455 --> 00:02:41,055
- 'Cause that's nuts.
- Well, they're above us
58
00:02:41,123 --> 00:02:42,323
on the hierarchy.
59
00:02:42,391 --> 00:02:43,977
The newspaper kids are above them.
60
00:02:44,210 --> 00:02:45,790
I'm not really sure who's at the top,
61
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:48,324
but I'd like to think it's
some kind of sex-having athlete.
62
00:02:48,392 --> 00:02:50,059
No, no, no, no, no, look. Forget the whole
63
00:02:50,127 --> 00:02:51,427
food chain/hierarchy thing, okay.
64
00:02:51,495 --> 00:02:52,895
Have you guys absorbed nothing
65
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,458
from all the missions that we've done?
66
00:02:54,865 --> 00:02:56,498
There's no
greater pick-me-up
67
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:58,767
than taking down somebody
who's wronged you.
68
00:02:58,836 --> 00:03:00,141
But, Mr. Griffin...
69
00:03:00,662 --> 00:03:01,870
[WHISPERS] She has a nose ring.
70
00:03:01,939 --> 00:03:03,105
Forget the nose ring.
71
00:03:03,174 --> 00:03:04,373
Don't be intimidated by that.
72
00:03:04,442 --> 00:03:05,841
That's exactly what she wants.
73
00:03:05,910 --> 00:03:08,177
Now we're gonna get
revenge on the drum corps.
74
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,512
That's what we're gonna do. Yeah.
75
00:03:10,768 --> 00:03:13,135
I'm gonna pull you guys off
the bottom of that food chain.
76
00:03:13,296 --> 00:03:15,596
Technically, we're above the Russian kids.
77
00:03:15,665 --> 00:03:18,329
Not for long. They're acclimating fast.
78
00:03:18,601 --> 00:03:19,835
Commies.
79
00:03:20,532 --> 00:03:22,667
This is a going away video for Jack.
80
00:03:22,667 --> 00:03:23,667
Oh.
81
00:03:24,427 --> 00:03:26,169
Jack, I've never had the opportunity
82
00:03:26,237 --> 00:03:27,537
to say this to
you face-to-face,
83
00:03:27,606 --> 00:03:29,339
but your penis is clearly visible
84
00:03:29,407 --> 00:03:32,323
through your sweatpants.
Okay, have fun in Hollywood.
85
00:03:32,544 --> 00:03:33,543
Wait, what was that?
86
00:03:33,612 --> 00:03:35,248
Rewind. Freeze it.
87
00:03:35,647 --> 00:03:37,313
There. Do you see that?
88
00:03:37,382 --> 00:03:38,748
- Mm-mm.
- Zoom in.
89
00:03:38,817 --> 00:03:40,375
- Okay.
- [GASPS]
90
00:03:41,319 --> 00:03:42,952
Oh, my God.
91
00:03:43,021 --> 00:03:44,787
- Is that a ghost?
- Zoom in.
92
00:03:44,856 --> 00:03:46,322
- [EXCLAIMS]
- [CHUCKLES] Ooh.
93
00:03:46,391 --> 00:03:47,624
- No.
- Mm-mm.
94
00:03:47,692 --> 00:03:49,425
That's crazy, right?
95
00:03:49,879 --> 00:03:51,979
We all agree that ghosts aren't real.
96
00:03:52,048 --> 00:03:53,447
- BOTH: Yeah.
- All right.
97
00:03:53,516 --> 00:03:55,970
- Let's just get back to editing.
- Yeah, okay.
98
00:03:56,386 --> 00:03:58,953
[CHEERFULLY WHISTLING] Ah.
99
00:03:59,022 --> 00:04:01,582
Well, good morning, beautiful songbird.
100
00:04:01,583 --> 00:04:04,191
You sound just like the loon
that visited our lake house.
101
00:04:04,260 --> 00:04:05,659
- Oh, yeah?
- He died last summer.
102
00:04:05,728 --> 00:04:07,528
We're pretty sure that
a power line got him.
103
00:04:07,597 --> 00:04:10,564
We found, like, a basket of ribs.
104
00:04:10,633 --> 00:04:13,083
- Like, a charred...
- Helen, Helen, Helen, I...
105
00:04:13,583 --> 00:04:16,237
So, get this. I'm finally leaving Toledo.
106
00:04:16,305 --> 00:04:17,872
- Yeah, I'm free.
- What?
107
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:19,807
You've only been here three little months.
108
00:04:19,876 --> 00:04:21,208
- Yeah, I know. I know.
- Aww.
109
00:04:21,277 --> 00:04:23,244
I once took a nap longer than that.
110
00:04:23,728 --> 00:04:26,065
Of course, I had just
slammed into the straight side
111
00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,299
- of a water ski ramp.
- Uh-huh.
112
00:04:28,368 --> 00:04:31,068
My eyes were open and I
was talking, but I was dead.
113
00:04:31,481 --> 00:04:34,482
As I was saying, um, yeah, I'm out of here.
114
00:04:34,551 --> 00:04:36,884
I'm gonna go head the
Stanford philosophy department.
115
00:04:36,953 --> 00:04:40,052
- Hey, not too shabby, huh?
- [LAUGHS] I know.
116
00:04:40,077 --> 00:04:41,443
- Yeah.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
117
00:04:41,468 --> 00:04:43,168
I'd say you're going to greener pastures,
118
00:04:43,193 --> 00:04:44,625
but California is on fire.
119
00:04:44,961 --> 00:04:47,318
- Okay.
- Hey, when you leave,
120
00:04:47,816 --> 00:04:51,184
could I please have that
big, fancy professor throne?
121
00:04:51,252 --> 00:04:53,419
- Professor thro...
- Oh, my massage chair?
122
00:04:53,488 --> 00:04:55,054
- Yes.
- Yeah, sure. Why not?
123
00:04:55,123 --> 00:04:57,973
Yeah, you could... you
could really stand to relax.
124
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:58,995
Oh, thank you.
125
00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:01,260
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
126
00:05:01,329 --> 00:05:03,129
- [SIGHS]
- [DOOR OPENS]
127
00:05:03,306 --> 00:05:04,908
- Ah.
- Hi, Ralph.
128
00:05:05,666 --> 00:05:08,467
At first, I couldn't
believe you were leaving.
129
00:05:08,819 --> 00:05:10,041
You know, and then I...
130
00:05:11,372 --> 00:05:12,772
took a sharp turn to anger.
131
00:05:13,088 --> 00:05:14,806
Oh, did you punch a hole in the wall?
132
00:05:14,807 --> 00:05:16,239
Oh, tha... no,
133
00:05:16,308 --> 00:05:18,408
I thought it'd be cool
to have an office hammock.
134
00:05:18,477 --> 00:05:20,077
Then I found out the hard way that
135
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:22,412
drywall does not support a human body.
136
00:05:22,481 --> 00:05:24,147
- Mm.
- But now I've moved on
137
00:05:24,216 --> 00:05:26,188
to the third stage of grief;
138
00:05:26,652 --> 00:05:29,472
bargaining. Jack, I can offer you
139
00:05:29,688 --> 00:05:31,922
two parking spaces.
140
00:05:31,990 --> 00:05:33,790
Now, granted, they're not adjacent.
141
00:05:33,859 --> 00:05:35,625
- Let's see.
- Six-figure salary
142
00:05:35,694 --> 00:05:38,137
or a second floating parking spot.
143
00:05:38,137 --> 00:05:39,727
Okay, I get it, Jack. All right?
144
00:05:39,728 --> 00:05:41,754
I want what's best for you too.
145
00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:44,658
Look, could you at least impart some
146
00:05:45,091 --> 00:05:46,652
words of Ivy League wisdom
147
00:05:46,697 --> 00:05:48,330
to the students at the hit '90s movie
148
00:05:48,399 --> 00:05:50,099
Congo-themed dance this Friday?
149
00:05:50,334 --> 00:05:52,031
Yes... [SNAPS] That I can do.
150
00:05:52,094 --> 00:05:54,335
Yeah. Maybe I'll teach 'em
about deterministic living.
151
00:05:54,405 --> 00:05:56,305
Yeah. Or maybe just, uh...
152
00:05:56,373 --> 00:05:57,806
- teach 'em about deodorant.
- [CHAIR RUMBLES]
153
00:05:57,875 --> 00:06:01,510
Ralph, the cash for
gold guy is on line three.
154
00:06:01,579 --> 00:06:03,145
Did you already take my chair, Helen?
155
00:06:03,214 --> 00:06:05,047
Oh, I did. Oh, it's so comfortable.
156
00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:07,816
It's like my hind end is
smiling from ear to ear.
157
00:06:07,885 --> 00:06:09,418
?
158
00:06:10,946 --> 00:06:12,847
All right, everybody, what have we got
159
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,241
for revenge against Dallas?
160
00:06:14,651 --> 00:06:16,033
We could adjust her metronome
161
00:06:16,119 --> 00:06:17,463
so she drums slightly off tempo.
162
00:06:17,495 --> 00:06:19,353
Hmm. That seems like your second
163
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:21,413
bad idea of the day there, Colin.
164
00:06:21,854 --> 00:06:23,720
No, come on, guys. We need to go bigger.
165
00:06:24,066 --> 00:06:26,291
Did you ever see the movie "Carrie"?
166
00:06:26,747 --> 00:06:29,514
We could stuff the ballot
box so Dallas is voted queen.
167
00:06:29,717 --> 00:06:32,017
And then when she's on
stage getting crowned,
168
00:06:32,086 --> 00:06:34,587
we can humiliate her by covering her...
169
00:06:34,655 --> 00:06:36,422
BOTH: In pig's blood.
170
00:06:36,490 --> 00:06:38,865
Yeah. Yeah. Whoo.
171
00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,160
Anybody else just get goose bumps?
172
00:06:41,229 --> 00:06:42,299
Yeah.
173
00:06:42,299 --> 00:06:43,732
Where will we get pig's blood?
174
00:06:43,801 --> 00:06:46,468
My dad's butcher shop.
We have troughs of it.
175
00:06:46,537 --> 00:06:48,336
- Let's do it.
- [CELL PHONE RINGING]
176
00:06:48,405 --> 00:06:50,138
Oh, you know what, guys, keep it going.
177
00:06:50,207 --> 00:06:52,140
I gotta take this call. It's Stanford.
178
00:06:53,150 --> 00:06:54,779
Man, it feels good to say that.
179
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:55,995
Mm.
180
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,417
- Miles.
- Jack, Jack.
181
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,061
You'll never guess who I'm with.
182
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,122
Dean Richardson, hi. Love that tie.
183
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:05,957
- I'm digging it.
- Well, thank you, Jack.
184
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,821
This shade of red is
Stanford Cardinal.
185
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:12,564
- [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS]
186
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:15,059
- [CHUCKLES]
- This guy.
187
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:16,837
Aw, fun, fun.
188
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:20,028
Well, Jack, I'm on my way
out, but we are really
189
00:07:20,068 --> 00:07:21,734
looking forward to
having your with us.
190
00:07:21,803 --> 00:07:23,488
You are gonna love having him.
191
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,273
Jack and I are like the same soul
192
00:07:26,341 --> 00:07:28,477
- in two separate bodies.
- Yeah.
193
00:07:29,044 --> 00:07:30,917
Well, Jack, I'm off.
194
00:07:31,446 --> 00:07:32,679
[LAUGHS]
195
00:07:32,747 --> 00:07:35,048
- [LAUGHS] Hey.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
196
00:07:35,116 --> 00:07:37,550
Jack, between you and I,
197
00:07:37,619 --> 00:07:39,452
Stanford are really scrutinizing
198
00:07:39,521 --> 00:07:41,454
their faculty's
behavior at the moment.
199
00:07:41,523 --> 00:07:43,423
Turns out one of the
English professors
200
00:07:43,491 --> 00:07:45,425
has been using his faculty website
201
00:07:45,493 --> 00:07:47,340
- to sell ecstasy.
- Wow.
202
00:07:47,662 --> 00:07:48,828
Seems like that's what the dean was on.
203
00:07:48,897 --> 00:07:50,230
[LAUGHS] Yeah.
204
00:07:50,298 --> 00:07:52,398
But, seriously, keep your nose clean
205
00:07:52,467 --> 00:07:54,200
for the next couple
of days, all right,
206
00:07:54,269 --> 00:07:55,768
you saucy little mongoose.
207
00:07:55,837 --> 00:07:58,771
Will do, you... You fuzzy old, uh...
208
00:07:58,840 --> 00:07:59,973
- Go on. Do... what was it.
- Nope.
209
00:08:00,041 --> 00:08:01,219
I'm not gonna do this.
210
00:08:01,743 --> 00:08:05,511
?
211
00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:07,280
- [INDISTINCT WHISPERING]
- Yo, you want to hear
212
00:08:07,349 --> 00:08:09,616
- what we've got so far?
- So we'll all go to the dance
213
00:08:09,684 --> 00:08:11,084
- as a group-
- Oh, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.
214
00:08:11,152 --> 00:08:13,152
Nope. No mas.No mas. Yeah.
215
00:08:13,221 --> 00:08:15,622
Turns out my Stanford job
is on the line here, guys.
216
00:08:15,690 --> 00:08:17,123
So as much as it kills me to say this,
217
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:20,426
I cannot douse a teenage girl in blood.
218
00:08:20,796 --> 00:08:23,230
I'm gonna be over here picking
out my California bang pad,
219
00:08:23,298 --> 00:08:24,965
so it's time for you guys to nut up
220
00:08:25,367 --> 00:08:26,625
and do this on your own.
221
00:08:27,269 --> 00:08:28,902
All right? Let's see here.
222
00:08:28,970 --> 00:08:30,303
Bang pad.
223
00:08:30,372 --> 00:08:31,804
- [KEYS THUMPING]
- Bang pads.
224
00:08:31,873 --> 00:08:33,873
Oh, nope, nope, nope.
That's not a good website.
225
00:08:33,942 --> 00:08:35,475
Okay, so what should we use
226
00:08:35,543 --> 00:08:37,410
as background music for Jack's video?
227
00:08:37,479 --> 00:08:39,045
My vote is the "What a man, what a man,
228
00:08:39,114 --> 00:08:40,647
"what a man, what a man,
what a mighty good man" song.
229
00:08:40,715 --> 00:08:42,882
Michelle, that's too many "what a mans."
230
00:08:42,951 --> 00:08:44,884
I can't help it. I'm rattled.
231
00:08:44,953 --> 00:08:46,386
All I can think about is that ghost.
232
00:08:46,454 --> 00:08:48,588
There has to be a easy explanation for it.
233
00:08:48,966 --> 00:08:51,729
- It was a glare.
- Yeah, plus ghosts only haunt
234
00:08:51,729 --> 00:08:53,028
places that they've died,
235
00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:55,331
and no one's ever died at Whitlock, so...
236
00:08:55,631 --> 00:08:58,021
Unless you count Beehive Beverly
237
00:08:58,569 --> 00:09:00,102
who died of a headfire.
238
00:09:00,171 --> 00:09:01,570
A headfire?
239
00:09:01,639 --> 00:09:03,231
Oh, it's Whitlock legend.
240
00:09:03,775 --> 00:09:05,901
It was 1964
241
00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:07,443
and our Home Ec teacher,
242
00:09:07,511 --> 00:09:09,044
Beverly Sills, was a real tomboy.
243
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:11,947
Now, that didn't set well
with Principal Thorson.
244
00:09:12,132 --> 00:09:14,984
So he made her put her
hair up into a beehive.
245
00:09:15,052 --> 00:09:16,318
And one fateful day,
246
00:09:16,387 --> 00:09:19,254
she was pulling out zucchini
muffins from the oven
247
00:09:19,323 --> 00:09:20,823
and her beehive caught on fire
248
00:09:20,891 --> 00:09:23,225
and flash-melted down to the scalp.
249
00:09:23,294 --> 00:09:25,909
- Oh.
- Some people say that
250
00:09:26,397 --> 00:09:29,031
she still roams these halls...
251
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,299
[EERIE MUSIC]
252
00:09:30,368 --> 00:09:33,700
Cursed to always wear a beehive.
253
00:09:34,071 --> 00:09:36,505
?
254
00:09:36,675 --> 00:09:38,485
- Ha! [LAUGHS]
- [ALL EXCLAIM]
255
00:09:39,210 --> 00:09:40,776
So we'll rig the buckets of blood
256
00:09:40,845 --> 00:09:42,244
the day before in the gym.
257
00:09:42,313 --> 00:09:44,013
We'll get in there by crawling
through the duct system.
258
00:09:44,081 --> 00:09:46,682
- This plan sucks.
- Your attitude sucks.
259
00:09:46,751 --> 00:09:48,417
Okay, dude, stop fighting.
We need to figure out
260
00:09:48,486 --> 00:09:50,519
- how to get into the gym.
- The duct system!
261
00:09:50,588 --> 00:09:53,222
Okay, guys, guys, guys. I'm
not getting involved here.
262
00:09:53,290 --> 00:09:54,823
I'm just letting you
know that every teacher
263
00:09:54,892 --> 00:09:56,925
keeps a master key in their top drawer,
264
00:09:56,994 --> 00:09:59,150
so steal it from them
when they're not looking.
265
00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:07,516
Bingo.
266
00:10:11,456 --> 00:10:13,057
[MAJOR LAZER'S "RUN UP" PLAYING]
267
00:10:13,559 --> 00:10:14,892
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
268
00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:19,171
? Yeah they thought
that you was a shy girl ?
269
00:10:19,239 --> 00:10:21,239
? Until I made you my girl ?
270
00:10:21,308 --> 00:10:23,508
? Girl you pushed me
like a big button ?
271
00:10:23,577 --> 00:10:25,410
? Till I cuffed you
like you did somethin' ?
272
00:10:25,479 --> 00:10:27,512
? You ain't gotta wait for it ?
273
00:10:27,581 --> 00:10:29,848
? You ain't gotta wait for
me to give you my love ?
274
00:10:29,917 --> 00:10:31,950
? You ain't got to wait for it ?
275
00:10:32,019 --> 00:10:33,187
? Things are gettin'
sticky girl... ?
276
00:10:33,187 --> 00:10:34,546
Dudes, like, seriously, disperse.
277
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,186
All right? Y'all looking shady as hell.
278
00:10:36,648 --> 00:10:38,348
?
279
00:10:38,416 --> 00:10:39,849
[ALL WHISPERING]
280
00:10:39,918 --> 00:10:40,950
Well done, ladies.
281
00:10:41,019 --> 00:10:42,252
- [ALL EXCLAIM]
- Oh, God.
282
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,254
Durbs, put a bell on that collar.
283
00:10:44,322 --> 00:10:45,722
Ooh, my hiccups are gone.
284
00:10:45,791 --> 00:10:47,223
Hey, guys, I'm sorry to scare you,
285
00:10:47,292 --> 00:10:49,635
but how great is this? I mean, it's...
286
00:10:49,635 --> 00:10:51,501
This is like really being
in the movie "Congo."
287
00:10:51,571 --> 00:10:53,871
Durbadook, we have an issue.
288
00:10:54,156 --> 00:10:56,945
- Whitlock is haunted.
- It's Beehive Beverly.
289
00:10:56,945 --> 00:11:00,047
Guys, there's no such
thing as Beehive Beverly.
290
00:11:00,116 --> 00:11:01,449
So there's no Beehive...
291
00:11:01,518 --> 00:11:02,850
[SCREECHES] Let's...
292
00:11:02,919 --> 00:11:05,086
Let's not say her name a third time though.
293
00:11:05,155 --> 00:11:07,121
[CHUCKLES] You know, just in case.
294
00:11:07,190 --> 00:11:08,365
Silly. It's...
295
00:11:10,827 --> 00:11:14,062
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
296
00:11:16,277 --> 00:11:19,934
Whoa, we are definitely not
gonna get the deposits back
297
00:11:20,003 --> 00:11:21,335
on these gorilla suits.
298
00:11:21,404 --> 00:11:24,005
This one smells like egg salad. [CHUCKLES]
299
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:26,538
Oh, boy. Hello, everyone.
300
00:11:27,460 --> 00:11:31,412
The king and queen of the
Sadie Hawkins "Congo" Dance
301
00:11:31,481 --> 00:11:33,114
inspired by the movie
302
00:11:33,183 --> 00:11:35,334
based on the book by Michael Crichton...
303
00:11:35,752 --> 00:11:37,051
the winners are:
304
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:40,188
Dallas Chaffee and Joshua McLees.
305
00:11:40,256 --> 00:11:41,862
Get your butts up here.
306
00:11:42,325 --> 00:11:43,483
Good job.
307
00:11:43,508 --> 00:11:46,643
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
308
00:11:51,083 --> 00:11:54,017
[MISCHIEVOUS MUSIC]
309
00:11:54,086 --> 00:11:56,619
?
310
00:11:56,688 --> 00:12:00,090
Yes, congratulations, Dallas and Joshua!
311
00:12:00,158 --> 00:12:03,026
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
312
00:12:03,095 --> 00:12:06,396
?
313
00:12:06,465 --> 00:12:07,537
Wow.
314
00:12:08,533 --> 00:12:13,236
?
315
00:12:13,305 --> 00:12:14,404
[WHISPERS] Why isn't it working?
316
00:12:14,473 --> 00:12:16,222
- Pull harder.
- I'm trying.
317
00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:17,907
It must be stuck.
318
00:12:18,890 --> 00:12:22,464
Is everybody having fun
in the Lost City of Zinj?
319
00:12:22,848 --> 00:12:25,882
[CHUCKLES] ? Amy love "Congo" movie ?
320
00:12:25,951 --> 00:12:27,584
None of us get that.
321
00:12:27,652 --> 00:12:29,619
We have not seen film. Get to point.
322
00:12:29,688 --> 00:12:31,421
Wow, even the... Even the Russian kids.
323
00:12:31,490 --> 00:12:34,557
You are acclimating quickly.
Well, without further ado,
324
00:12:34,626 --> 00:12:37,527
I would like to introduce
our keynote speaker.
325
00:12:37,741 --> 00:12:41,679
Please welcome my
ex-roomie, Mr. Jack Griffin.
326
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:44,200
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
327
00:12:44,269 --> 00:12:45,753
All right, guys. Oh.
328
00:12:46,423 --> 00:12:48,671
[CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY] Okay. Hi.
329
00:12:48,740 --> 00:12:51,141
I guess my message to you is pretty simple.
330
00:12:51,209 --> 00:12:53,043
Um, you gotta get out of Toledo.
331
00:12:53,111 --> 00:12:54,744
Just get the hell out
of here any way you can.
332
00:12:54,813 --> 00:12:58,748
I got out using my good
looks and my wit and my charm,
333
00:12:58,817 --> 00:13:00,316
but you guys don't have that,
334
00:13:00,385 --> 00:13:01,951
so you'll have to come
up with something else.
335
00:13:02,211 --> 00:13:03,286
Who are you?
336
00:13:03,355 --> 00:13:04,761
You know, you could join a circus.
337
00:13:04,786 --> 00:13:06,169
Yeah, that could be cool.
338
00:13:06,169 --> 00:13:08,465
I know those gypsies tend
to hire, you know, their own,
339
00:13:08,511 --> 00:13:10,378
but you could marry in.
Yeah, that's one way in.
340
00:13:10,447 --> 00:13:12,046
Maybe you wouldn't even
have to work at the circus.
341
00:13:12,115 --> 00:13:13,948
You could just, you
know... You'd make dinner
342
00:13:14,017 --> 00:13:16,355
for when the gypsy comes home.
Just, you know, keep 'em happy.
343
00:13:16,355 --> 00:13:18,750
Otherwise, they'll steal your baby.
344
00:13:19,131 --> 00:13:20,657
[CLEARS THROAT] It's been a lot of fun,
345
00:13:20,726 --> 00:13:23,220
but I'm sure, sure glad to
be leaving this damn place.
346
00:13:23,429 --> 00:13:25,313
Uh, okay. See ya.
347
00:13:25,831 --> 00:13:27,030
[LIGHT APPLAUSE]
348
00:13:27,099 --> 00:13:28,765
Okay, uh, well...
349
00:13:28,834 --> 00:13:31,868
gypsy's, I think, are an
unjustly maligned group.
350
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,271
They gave us the tambourine.
351
00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:38,208
And if you ask me, Toledo
is a great place to live.
352
00:13:38,277 --> 00:13:39,910
Jack, the ladies have put together
353
00:13:39,979 --> 00:13:41,845
a little bon voyage surprise gift for you,
354
00:13:41,914 --> 00:13:44,281
so take it away, ladies. All right.
355
00:13:44,350 --> 00:13:45,382
Thank you, Durbs.
356
00:13:45,451 --> 00:13:47,684
Oh, Harvard Jack, we're gonna miss you.
357
00:13:47,753 --> 00:13:50,120
We made you this hella
tight good-bye video,
358
00:13:50,189 --> 00:13:52,622
but we just wanted to give
the audience a quick warning.
359
00:13:52,691 --> 00:13:54,091
If you see something behind Coach,
360
00:13:54,159 --> 00:13:55,859
- it's definitely not a ghost.
- Mm-hmm.
361
00:13:55,928 --> 00:13:58,195
Yeah, actually, 90% sure it's not a ghost
362
00:13:58,263 --> 00:13:59,663
because there is no such thing.
363
00:13:59,732 --> 00:14:01,365
Uh, probably not.
364
00:14:01,433 --> 00:14:02,632
- Definitely not...
- [CELL PHONE RINGING]
365
00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:03,967
Because they're probably not real.
366
00:14:04,036 --> 00:14:05,469
Definitely. The only thing we know is,
367
00:14:05,537 --> 00:14:06,837
we don't know what we don't know.
368
00:14:06,905 --> 00:14:08,905
[DISTANT] It's most likely nothing...
369
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:11,214
Miles, my main man, how's it going?
370
00:14:11,282 --> 00:14:13,860
Hey, mate, I wish I could say tip -top...
371
00:14:14,306 --> 00:14:15,347
lollipop,
372
00:14:15,348 --> 00:14:18,133
but it's far from that. I'm screwed.
373
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,692
I'm still waiting for
all the details, but
374
00:14:20,721 --> 00:14:22,270
during the faculty sweep,
375
00:14:22,309 --> 00:14:24,275
Stanford traced the IP address
376
00:14:24,344 --> 00:14:26,555
of my cyber sweetie Linda...
377
00:14:27,721 --> 00:14:28,998
to a high school.
378
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:32,868
Turns out, I've been speaking
to a 16-year-old online.
379
00:14:33,486 --> 00:14:35,338
And I've gotta go on Oprah tomorrow
380
00:14:35,338 --> 00:14:36,830
and try and explain all of that.
381
00:14:38,208 --> 00:14:39,307
I'm done.
382
00:14:39,376 --> 00:14:41,943
Wow, yeah, no that's bad. That's bad.
383
00:14:42,012 --> 00:14:43,778
You know, what can I
say? You know, some people
384
00:14:43,847 --> 00:14:46,848
make bad decisions
purely of their own accord
385
00:14:46,916 --> 00:14:48,249
and, you know, they get punished.
386
00:14:48,318 --> 00:14:50,084
No, sorry, Jack, you don't understand.
387
00:14:50,153 --> 00:14:52,930
This is bad for you as well, I'm afraid.
388
00:14:53,757 --> 00:14:55,473
I recommended you, so...
389
00:14:55,893 --> 00:14:57,835
Stanford's revoking the offer.
390
00:14:58,895 --> 00:14:59,944
I'm tainted,
391
00:15:00,197 --> 00:15:01,627
and I've tainted you.
392
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:03,732
I've tainted you bad.
393
00:15:03,801 --> 00:15:05,300
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
394
00:15:05,369 --> 00:15:07,097
Stanford doesn't want you anymore.
395
00:15:07,605 --> 00:15:10,072
?
396
00:15:10,141 --> 00:15:13,308
When you see the thing behind Coach,
397
00:15:13,610 --> 00:15:16,545
just know that you don't know what that is,
398
00:15:16,614 --> 00:15:18,313
and it's probably nothing.
399
00:15:18,382 --> 00:15:20,816
Because after all, if it was a ghost,
400
00:15:20,885 --> 00:15:23,719
okay, I'm sure we would
have seen a sign by now.
401
00:15:23,787 --> 00:15:26,788
[SHELLAC'S "THE END OF RADIO"]
402
00:15:26,857 --> 00:15:28,323
? Can you hear me now? ?
403
00:15:28,392 --> 00:15:31,226
?
404
00:15:31,295 --> 00:15:33,996
- [SCREAMS]
- Hell no!
405
00:15:34,064 --> 00:15:35,531
[OVERLAPPING SHOUTING AND SCREAMING]
406
00:15:35,599 --> 00:15:36,632
Everybody stay calm!
407
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:39,701
[ALL SCREAMING AND SHOUTING]
408
00:15:39,770 --> 00:15:40,736
Oh, God!
409
00:15:40,804 --> 00:15:45,374
?
410
00:15:45,442 --> 00:15:46,808
? Can you hear me now? ?
411
00:15:46,877 --> 00:15:48,076
?
412
00:15:48,145 --> 00:15:49,444
? It's the end of radio ?
413
00:15:49,513 --> 00:15:51,914
?
414
00:15:53,404 --> 00:15:55,972
[ROGER MILLER'S "THE LAST
WORD IN LONESOME IS ME"]
415
00:15:55,974 --> 00:16:00,810
?
416
00:16:00,812 --> 00:16:04,480
? The last word ?
417
00:16:04,482 --> 00:16:08,384
? In lonesome is me ?
418
00:16:08,386 --> 00:16:12,288
? The last word ?
419
00:16:12,290 --> 00:16:15,558
? In Lonesome is me... ?
420
00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:16,793
?
421
00:16:17,766 --> 00:16:20,500
No, we're still trying
to figure out who did it.
422
00:16:20,502 --> 00:16:22,001
No, I'm fine. It was just...
423
00:16:22,003 --> 00:16:23,197
It was really scary.
424
00:16:23,905 --> 00:16:25,971
Okay. Okay. Bye, Mom.
425
00:16:25,974 --> 00:16:27,574
[MUSIC FADES]
426
00:16:27,576 --> 00:16:29,194
Jack, have a seat.
427
00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:34,114
Uh, I am not a man who likes to beg,
428
00:16:34,116 --> 00:16:36,016
but I'm really good at it,
429
00:16:36,018 --> 00:16:38,385
and, uh, I am begging you.
430
00:16:38,387 --> 00:16:40,987
Please, please, stay at Whitlock.
431
00:16:40,989 --> 00:16:43,005
Okay, I can offer you the two
432
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:45,091
parking spaces from earlier,
433
00:16:45,093 --> 00:16:47,556
a BOGO certificate to the school store,
434
00:16:47,863 --> 00:16:50,940
and... uh...
435
00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:53,601
a surge protector.
436
00:16:55,337 --> 00:16:56,405
Okay.
437
00:16:58,507 --> 00:16:59,958
I... sorry, that worked?
438
00:17:00,139 --> 00:17:01,842
Sure, Ralph. I'll stay.
439
00:17:01,844 --> 00:17:03,252
We're... yes!
440
00:17:03,712 --> 00:17:05,612
Oh, my God, this totally makes up
441
00:17:05,614 --> 00:17:09,416
for the literal bloodbath
that went down on my watch.
442
00:17:09,418 --> 00:17:11,551
[STRAINS]
443
00:17:11,553 --> 00:17:12,552
Come on.
444
00:17:12,554 --> 00:17:13,990
Just one second.
445
00:17:14,289 --> 00:17:18,191
? The last word ?
446
00:17:18,193 --> 00:17:22,128
? In lonesome is me ?
447
00:17:22,325 --> 00:17:26,027
- ? The last word... ?
- [BUZZING]
448
00:17:26,052 --> 00:17:30,036
? In lonesome is me ?
449
00:17:30,038 --> 00:17:32,239
? My hearts is a... ?
450
00:17:33,243 --> 00:17:34,883
But we were rid of you.
451
00:17:36,485 --> 00:17:37,532
Nope.
452
00:17:38,298 --> 00:17:40,275
The dean of Stanford found out about
453
00:17:40,277 --> 00:17:41,924
our Miles-Catfish mission
454
00:17:41,925 --> 00:17:43,625
and it came back to bite me in the ass,
455
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,501
so... it's over.
456
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:47,929
I'm stuck here.
457
00:17:47,931 --> 00:17:49,053
[THUDS]
458
00:17:49,499 --> 00:17:51,833
Wow, it's almost Shakespearean.
459
00:17:51,835 --> 00:17:53,068
You ruined yourself.
460
00:17:53,070 --> 00:17:54,305
[SIGHS]
461
00:17:58,707 --> 00:18:00,714
You know what might cheer you up?
462
00:18:01,078 --> 00:18:02,456
A little revenge.
463
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:05,447
Maybe we could do a good
old fashion Miles mission?
464
00:18:05,449 --> 00:18:07,509
Oh, yeah, I don't know if you saw,
465
00:18:07,617 --> 00:18:09,846
but Miles' Oprah
interview went really well,
466
00:18:10,187 --> 00:18:12,394
and he's about to get his
own show on her network.
467
00:18:13,023 --> 00:18:14,195
Don't care.
468
00:18:16,141 --> 00:18:18,942
I'll just pop one of these Advil PMs
469
00:18:19,062 --> 00:18:20,105
and go to sleep.
470
00:18:20,931 --> 00:18:22,697
Let's see if we can make today...
471
00:18:23,531 --> 00:18:24,844
become tomorrow.
472
00:18:28,037 --> 00:18:29,703
You said, "There's no greater pick me up
473
00:18:29,705 --> 00:18:31,772
than taking down someone
who's wronged you,"
474
00:18:32,015 --> 00:18:34,343
but now you're just gonna
sit there and do nothing?
475
00:18:34,844 --> 00:18:35,759
Yep.
476
00:18:45,086 --> 00:18:48,455
All right, what is one
quality that Miles has
477
00:18:48,457 --> 00:18:50,490
that Mr. Griffin doesn't?
478
00:18:51,427 --> 00:18:52,860
He's British.
479
00:18:52,862 --> 00:18:56,138
Which means he can get deported.
480
00:18:56,163 --> 00:18:58,611
And what's the number one
reason people get deported?
481
00:18:58,934 --> 00:19:00,634
Exotic animal smuggling.
482
00:19:00,636 --> 00:19:03,470
All we have to do is get
illegal exotic animals,
483
00:19:03,472 --> 00:19:05,739
put them in his house, call the feds,
484
00:19:05,741 --> 00:19:07,975
and, boom, he's deported.
485
00:19:07,977 --> 00:19:09,856
[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
486
00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,880
- _
- _
487
00:19:14,391 --> 00:19:16,183
Where would you get the animals?
488
00:19:16,185 --> 00:19:19,191
Yo, my sketchy neighbor breeds snakes.
489
00:19:19,615 --> 00:19:22,022
Yeah, he's always trying
to sell his python eggs.
490
00:19:26,862 --> 00:19:27,892
Hmm.
491
00:19:28,431 --> 00:19:29,439
You know...
492
00:19:29,598 --> 00:19:32,066
guys, there could be something to this.
493
00:19:32,068 --> 00:19:33,267
Give me that.
494
00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:35,669
While we're on takedowns.
495
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,015
I'm putting that Stanford dean on the list.
496
00:19:38,055 --> 00:19:39,383
Fricking hyena.
497
00:19:40,469 --> 00:19:42,485
Oh, if we're making a list,
498
00:19:42,487 --> 00:19:44,476
can we put my karate teacher on it?
499
00:19:44,856 --> 00:19:46,222
- What?
- He laughed
500
00:19:46,224 --> 00:19:48,235
when I fell doing my roundhouse kick.
501
00:19:48,993 --> 00:19:50,451
Guy does sound sucky.
502
00:19:50,451 --> 00:19:51,850
The dictator at CVS
503
00:19:51,852 --> 00:19:54,453
won't let me buy more than seven lighters.
504
00:19:54,795 --> 00:19:57,189
Sure, let's get him. He's toast.
505
00:19:57,564 --> 00:20:00,265
Oh, bup, bup, bup, bup, bup,
this should go without saying,
506
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,968
but, uh, we're back
to being a no-bio zone.
507
00:20:02,970 --> 00:20:05,915
Why don't you go ahead and
toss that puppy in here, Sarika.
508
00:20:06,184 --> 00:20:07,344
Let's go.
509
00:20:08,976 --> 00:20:11,597
Yep. There we go.
510
00:20:20,054 --> 00:20:21,219
[CHUCKLES]
511
00:20:21,221 --> 00:20:22,491
Yeah.
512
00:20:22,491 --> 00:20:24,296
All right, now we're cooking.
513
00:20:25,124 --> 00:20:26,139
What else we got?
514
00:20:26,336 --> 00:20:28,962
My grandpa insists on cutting my hair.
515
00:20:28,964 --> 00:20:30,363
Oh, that's no good.
516
00:20:30,365 --> 00:20:32,899
My dentist is making me get braces,
517
00:20:32,901 --> 00:20:34,968
but I don't think I need them.
518
00:20:34,970 --> 00:20:36,703
[ROCK MUSIC]
519
00:20:36,964 --> 00:20:39,331
Keep 'em coming. Who else?
520
00:20:39,333 --> 00:20:41,199
Coach Novak for making me do pushups.
521
00:20:41,201 --> 00:20:42,701
The lunch lady with the beard.
522
00:20:42,703 --> 00:20:44,736
Denzel Washington, but
also just to meet him.
523
00:20:44,738 --> 00:20:47,205
- Denzel.
- The kid in the cafeteria
524
00:20:47,207 --> 00:20:49,201
- who keeps flicking my nipples.
- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
525
00:20:49,226 --> 00:20:51,671
Synced and corrected by louvette
www.addic7ed.com
526
00:20:51,712 --> 00:20:54,946
? Breakin' rocks in the hot sun ?
527
00:20:54,948 --> 00:20:58,483
? I fought the law
and the law won ?
528
00:20:58,533 --> 00:21:03,083
Repair and Synchronization by
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