All language subtitles for 800 Words s02e14.eng

(GEORGE NARRATES)

(EXHALES)
And good evening, one and all.

It's morning, Uncle Terry.

Ah, it's all relative.

We're all relatives, you know,
relatively speaking.

What can I tell you
about my brother Terry

that doesn't make me sound like
the grumpy old fart he says I am?

Column?

Speech.

Cutting it fine.

We haven't seen much of you lately.

I'm opening
a fine-dining experience,

and that takes long hours.

Well, that would explain
the reek of tequila.

No idea how that happened.

(LAUGHS)
Say yes.

Yes! (LAUGHS)

Anyone need a lift,
I'm leaving in ten.

Oh, sweet. I'll grab a shower.

Haven't you just come from work?

Shay, it's a fine-dining experience,
not a fish and chips shop.

Which demands I put in hours.

Actually, I'm doing my own version
of fish and chips.

Mind-blowing.

The triple-cooked one with
the polenta coating, from your book?

You made it?

Yeah, well, Dad helped
the first few times.

(LAUGHS) Thank you, Arlo.

Thank you for the awesome recipe.

I think you just helped me
solve a problem.

I did?

He's a born entertainer,
a natural in the spotlight,

and if you haven't already,

you will not be able to resist
falling in love with him.

Until suddenly he's gone,

where you find him crying
in an alleyway,

or he's curled up in
a foetal ball on your kitchen floor,

begging you to forgive him
one more time.

(THEME MUSIC)

2x14

You do remember where
the all-night, all-day lifestyle

got you in the past, right?

It was just a couple of drinks
with the crew

while we sorted the booze list.

Besides, I should be the one
worrying about you.

The recent failed relationship.

It's not failed.
It's just... on hold.

Knocking up your wife's best mate.
Not proven... yet.

With twins...
with our family history.

Yeah, I'm well aware of
our family history, thanks.

All I'm saying is the mess that
your life's in, I look like a saint.

Hey, Bren, how's my pecorino?

Just dropped it off.

The best that these Friesian sheep
can produce.

Love you.
Oh. (GIGGLES)

Right, so you and Jan
decided to procreate

after a long sober thought?

Dougie boy, how's it going?

My finest work brining as we speak.

The unspeakable
gherkin-shaped body parts?

Your brother, George... hard case.

So, Jan and the babies -
you think she planned it?

What?!

Has it even occurred to you
that she might have

lured you into this whole
baby daddy trap on purpose?

(LAUGHS) No.

Come on, man, she's been
giving you the longing look

way before Laura even died.

You're only saying that
because she doesn't like you.

She thinks I'm a wastrel.

Well, you haven't exactly done

anything to challenge that
perception, have you?

Yo, Terry.
Yo, Zac.

How we doing?
Kaimoana all sorted.

Hey, George.
Zac.

The paua?

The crays, the kahawai, the hapuku,
and yes, the paua.

And, uh, what about
that other thing?

Got someone up in the bush
harvesting that as we speak.

Um, harvesting what?

Paoka, George.

Pork.
Oh.

Jeez, he's been here how long?
He still doesn't know the lingo.

(CHUCKLES) George tries his best.

Everything will be there at the
agreed time and the agreed price.

You're the man, Zac.
I know.

George.
Zac.

OK, if Jan was trying to trap me,
how come Zac's in the running?

It was Guy Fawkes night.
How could she resist him?

You're here for five minutes and you
know everything about everything.

I have my sources.

So, do you like the name?

Means 'good food'. Or 'lots
of food'. I don't actually know.

Just like the way it looks.
Good for you.

Oh, here he is,
my golden Aussie goose.

Hey, we need to talk about the guest
list for the opening, man.

No, I don't care about that,
but I have solved an actual problem.

Hey! Here to give
the younger brother a hand, eh?

Just wanted to see how
it's coming along.

Yeah, flash joint like
this right here in Weld.

There'll be no putting your chips
in your burgers here.

Don't you think it's a bit...
A bit what?

A bit much.

A bit much what?

A bit much of everything.

I mean, how much do you reckon
this is all costing?

By my calculations... buckets.

And you're not worried
it's another music festival fiasco?

No, it's not Robbie
writing the cheques.

And anyway, I'm doing it for Tezza.

Mate, he can charm the birds
out of trees, that bloke.

In fact, I actually think I saw him
talking to a native wood pigeon.

And, George,
they're as rare as...

well, native wood pigeons, mate.

Yeah, as long as he didn't kill it
and eat it.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Am I detecting a whiff of
brotherly wet blanket?

No, not at all.

Yeah, well, look, this used to be

the world's worst
Chinese restaurant, OK.

Your brother could serve up
Vegemite on toast,

he'd be doing Weld a favour.

How can that possibly be
a bad thing, George?

SHAY: We're getting really good
at this.

I'll email him and tell him
they're on their way.

Oh, internet's down.

You haven't called Ike to fix it?

Uh, no.

Still like that, is it?

Uh, yes.

This isn't good, Shay.

Feels wrong that all this
has come between you two.

What's wrong is him
throwing his weight around.

(BELL DINGS)

You go. I'll finish up here.

Hey, gorgeous. Your uncle's
a genius, you know that?

So he keeps telling us.
How can I help?

There's a glaringly empty wall
in my restaurant

and I'm just looking for something
to fill the void.

Well, everything in here
is for sale.

And we have more out back
I can bring out.

Yeah, no, this crafty crap
isn't gonna cut it, I'm afraid.

But, uh, I keep hearing about
this Dennis chap

who's the hot ticket
with the Euro crowd.

You got anything of his?

Uh, maybe.

I'm just looking for
something to lease

to impress the visiting
Richie Riches.

So, if you've got anything
that fits the bill,

why don't you bring it on down
and we'll see how it hangs.

Get it? See how it hangs.
See what I did there?

Yep.
It's a picture.

I see.
Yeah.

And I'll see what I can do.
Good girl.

So, seeing anyone new?

I only just broke up with Emma.

Right. Still not over it.

She was the love of my life, Billy.

I think it might take
a couple of weeks.

Don't look up.
Don't make eye contact.

Hey.
Hey.

You need to be careful.
She's out to get you.

Out to get me how?

Well, you're a loner now.

She'll sense this and pounce,
like a cheetah.

Shay!

Oh, hey, Ollie.
What's up?

Oh, just on my way to get lunch.

Are you still at the gallery?

Sort of. Got a project on.

Shouldn't you be at school?

I have a loose relationship
with schooling,

especially when Dad needs
someone to man the pumps.

OK.

I heard you and Ike had gone burger.

He's an idiot dumping you.

And who exactly told you that?
He did.

You deserve better, Shay.
Way, way better.

Yeah, ta. See you.

We want the front cover, obviously.
And a couple of inside spreads.

So basically, the whole paper?

Yeah. You're point being?

Well, we have other stories
to consider.

Such as?

Has that pothole been filled?
Yep.

There you go.

People have been complaining about
that pothole for ages.

In the process, they created
a whole new pothole nearby.

Yeah?

We have a world-famous chef
opening a world-class eatery.

Yes, I get it.

Not to mention the flow-on effect
to the local economy

with the influx of people
coming to Weld

to eat at this world-class eatery.

Understood.

In the off-season, George,
when nothing happens,

and usually we don't even publish
the damn paper.

That is true.
Yes, I get all of that.

Terry told me you'd do this.

Do what?

Pour cold water on the whole thing.

I'm not pouring cold water
on anything.

Look, Terry's a great chef.
He really is.

And I'm sure your opening night
will be great.

Except if it's like the one
in Chippendale

where he threw a meat cleaver
at the owner.

The thing is, I'm just trying to
prepare you for what happens after,

when Terry gets bored or
when Terry doesn't get what he wants

or when Terry doesn't...
I have three sons, George.

I know about sibling rivalry,

especially when the youngest
happens to be

the star that shines brightest.

Until he gets arrested.

Robbie and Terry walk a fine line

because they're risk takers,
like me.

I'm just worried that
Terry will inevitably...

Worrying is for sheepdogs
and old women, George.

Kai Nui will bring people,
wealth and opportunity to Weld.

And I want you to get on board.

Front cover, two inside spreads
and the back page.

Weld - gastronomic capital
of the free world.

Yeah, teeny bit over the top,
Gloria, but on the right track.

Oh, and you'll be making a speech
at the opening too, by the way.

I will?
You will.

I thought that was your territory.

Usually I would say a few words,
but Terry asked for you to speak.

Of course he did.

You know we have to go soon, right?
Mm-hm.

And you know you have to say
nice things about him, right?

It's like he's got the whole town
wrapped around his little finger.

He always does going in.

It's his exit strategies
where things fall apart.

Look, I really, really don't want
him to mess up what I got here, Jan.

Understandable.

So isn't it my duty, as a citizen
of the world, of THIS world,

to warn people about
what could go wrong?

In principle, yes,
but beware the boy who cried wolf.

Yes, but at the end of that story,

there was a wolf
and it eats all the sheep.

And the boy.

So I should just keep my warnings
to myself, then?

And fill the paper with
sweetness and light. Ha!

Hmph.

IKE: Hey.
Not speaking to you.

Are you OK?

Yeah, just fine, thanks,

after hearing Ollie tell me
how you dumped me.

What? I never said that.

He asked if we were still going out

and I said, "Not so much."

Ike the Honest,
had to give him a story.

Hey, I wasn't gonna lie, Shay.

Lying is what this is all about.

No, it's about you
trying to control me.

I just want you to see that
what you're doing is wrong.

That's the same thing!
No, not really.

Yeah, really.
So what?

What am I meant to say
when people ask about us?

Just be honest and say,
'Yeah, we're over.'

Because honesty is what
you're all about, right?

(LOW HUMMING)

Seriously?

Hello?

Bad idea getting a flying robot
to do your dirty work.

I thought it was cool. (CHUCKLES)

No, it's creepy.

What, this? No. No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

Um, OK, you're dying of a heart
attack and it's rush hour traffic,

so an ambulance can't get through,

but a drone
can deliver a defibrillator.

Creepy?

It's Weld.
The rush hour's like two cars.

They could throw the defibrillator.

I'm just saying, drones can do
all kinds of cool stuff.

I can show you if you want.

(LOW HUMMING)

You're a natural.
Yeah, it's like flying a kite.

Only not lame.
(LAUGHS)

Oh, give it to me.

No, I'm only just getting
the hang of it!

No, trust me.
You are gonna love this.

(BOTH LAUGH)
Eugh. What is he doing?

Sean's one of those
winter swim nut bars.

Comes down every afternoon.
You should see him do his stretches.

Oh, no, I really do not want to
see that.

(LAUGHS)
Oh, stop him!

Your wish is my command.

Oh.
(LAUGHS)

(BOTH LAUGH)

Serves him right for all the hoops
he made me and Ike jump through.

Yeah, well, I made him pay for it.

(CHUCKLES) You really did.

Thank you.

Hey, um, I've got to go,
but this has been awesome.

We should do it again sometime.
Yeah, yeah, sure.

I'm on the warpath and I won't stop

until I find that conniving thief
of a brother of yours.

What's he done now?

He's poached Hannah.

From the boat club?
No, George.

In a pan of boiling water.

Yes, from the boat club.

She handed in her notice
by text with emoji.

I'm so sorry.

She can sleep with whoever
she likes,

and I get why she might think
that he's hot. But, seriously...

Sorry...
They're sleeping together?

Do you always have to be the last
person to find out what's going on?

Women love him
and he loves them back.

Then he leaves them.

Usually without telling them why.

The why being that he...
is a narcissist of epic proportions

who does whatever Terry wants
whenever he wants it.

Sometimes these women
want to try and kill Terry,

but till now, Terry's older brother
has stopped them.

That... may...

change.

Do you seriously think
a row of sad faces

is the best way to tell me
you're leaving?

Oh, George. If you're here to vent
your disapproval, join the queue.

I'm not leaving leaving,
like I'm breaking up with you.

She's just changing jobs for a bit.
It happens in our business.

It's also called loyalty, Terry.

I can fight my own battles,
thank you, George.

But he is right about
the loyalty thing.

I get to be maitre d', Fiona.

This is a pretty cool gig for me.

And it's not like you and I have
an employment contract, is it?

You could have at least talked to me
about it first.

(SIGHS) I didn't know about
this offer until last night.

What about when the restaurant
shuts down?

I don't know. I'll go back to
my other job, I guess.

Maybe. If it's still there.

No, that was actually
George's way of asking

what my intentions are with Hannah.

Oh. I think you made those
pretty clear the night we met.

(GIGGLES)
Not those intentions.

Longer-term intentions.

Isn't that right?

See, George thinks
I have a reputation.

Reputations are earned, Terry.

He thinks I fall in with
the wrong women.

No. They fall in with the wrong you.

And then I leave them.

Ah!

And there may be the smallest amount
of truth in that, I must confess.

Well. Were any of these women me?

They most certainly were not.

I just don't want to see you
getting hurt.

OK. I am not some
sappy little twinkie.

I'm a big girl
and I can look after myself.

So you can go, and take
all this judgy-judgy with you,

before I start asking
the two of you questions about

what's going on there, eh?

Out of here.

You know, everyone's
welcomed me into this town

except for you, George.

Looking forward to hearing
your speech, by the way.

For the record, you're right.

About what?

That Hannah should be worried.

I know ratbags, and your brother -
no offence - is one.

Then why can't she see that?

She can.
It's part of the attraction.

Yeah. I hate that.

'Cause you're nothing
like your brother.

Just because I'm angry at Hannah
and you're angry at your brother,

doesn't mean we're anything.

Unless you've had a change of heart.

Thought so.

(ENGINE STARTS)

(HAIRDRYER HUMS)

(TURNS OFF HAIRDRYER, DIALS PHONE)

Hi, Robbie! Shay Turner here.

I have what you're looking for.

So what's this meeting about?

I know as much as you do, Jared,
which is nothing.

Are you saying I'm dumb?

No. I mean about the meeting.

But if the shoe fits...
(GIGGLES)

How's Emma?

(QUIETLY) Cheetah.

Emma... is nothing to do with you.

I liked her, that's all.
I can ask how she is, can't I?

No, you can't.

Right. Hello, everyone.
If I can have your attention.

Mr McNamara and I have
some great news.

Hannah? Whoa, that's brave.

Yeah. But she's fallen for him
in a way that they all do.

No, no. I mean,
that's brave for Uncle Terry.

Hannah kinda scares me.

Why does Hannah scare you?
She just does.

Dad was just saying that
she's hooked up with Uncle Terry.

OK, I can see that.

Yeah, except that
he's worried about Hannah.

Has he met Hannah?

Don't you remember the parade
of crying waitresses back in Sydney?

Or the husband who came after me
because he thought I was Terry?

Ha. That was kind of funny.

Or the thing with the neighbours?

The one in the spa pool?
Or the one with the bucket bong?

(CHUCKLES)
Either. Both.

Dad, Terry is just that guy.

You can't change that.

And if he wants to hook up with
Hannah, then good luck to them.

It's not like
we're the experts on romance.

So not rocking that party.

Hey, what are you even doing here?

Aren't you supposed to be working at
the boat club about now?

Yeah, about that.

Um... I kind of have another job now.

Now, these are the lowest of the low
minimum wage jobs.

Are we cool with that?
Hands up who's on board.

This employment will
also count as credit towards NCEA.

Does Fiona know this?
Yeah.

Yeah, I texted her just before.

George, you know how
a kitchen works.

We need extra bodies
to do the donkey work.

Not the body of my son.

Look, we had a labour shortage
and we solved the problem.

Me and my boys will train
the Food Tech kids.

They get extra credit

and earn a little bit of
pocket money.

That old principal seems to
dig the idea.

In fact, everyone seems
happy about it except you.

Taste that.

Too much cumin.

Barbarian.

Don't even know why I bother to ask.

Because you know I've got
better tastebuds than you.

I mean, I'm having enough problems
with Arlo as it is

without you adding to them.

So he ditches the dorky subjects
to do something that he loves,

and that's a problem?

Just leave the parenting to me,
thank you very much.

Working in a kitchen used to be
your dream, George.

What happened to you?

You... happened to me.

This is about the taco truck,
isn't it?

What? No.

Actually, yes.

The one and only time
we went into business together

was when we were young.

A taco truck -
the Four Tacos of the Apocalypse -

because each day we would offer
four different tacos -

two of his choice and two of mine.

You never understood what I was
trying to do with those tacos.

Your tacos never sold! Mine did!

Yeah, well, I was ahead of the curve
when it came to sweetbreads!

While my food kept the truck afloat,

Terry used it to chat up
the surfer girls,

and then go to war with
the rival taco truck.

Oh, come on! They were Italian!

What are Italians even doing
running a taco truck?

When you and I are
so authentically Mexican!

It was a turf war and you blinked.

They beat the crap out of you! I
saved your life by shutting us down!

Thus setting the pattern
for all that was to follow.

No, man, that's not true.
It is.

That's why I don't want Arlo
turning into you.

The me who's got three pumping
restaurants... soon to be four?

No, the you who lives his life
without responsibility,

not caring who gets hurt.

Your son will not be harmed
in the making of this triumph.

Have a little faith.

Why should I?

Everything I asked you not to do
while you were here,

you've done the opposite.

But if you play silly buggers
with Arlo's life...

that's it... last straw.

You disappear from my world.

To the left. Left.

No, my left.

And people pay big bucks for this,
do they?

Dennis is an exceptional talent.

Ah, my favourite niece,
and so early in the morning.

That's interesting.
Local artist.

Big deal in Europe, apparently.

Go, Europe.

I think you can do
a thousand times better.

Nope, I'm pretty much the same.

I know we're not anything,

but I just wanted to give you
this to apologise for my brother

who is currently filleting you
of your... workers.

Well, I do like wine.

But the truth is, I could barely
afford Hannah let alone Arlo,

so, probably for the best.

No, take it.

You're being
far too gracious about it all.

Tell me about it.
I'm even going to the damn opening.

Well, the food will be sensational.
Just get it while it's hot.

You don't think he's gonna
stick around, do you?

Historically,
not his favourite option.

And you're worried he's gonna
leave everyone in the kaka.

Also a likelihood.

How old was Terry
when your dad died?

14. Why?

I know fatherhood's
a touchy subject, but...

you kinda act like his dad.

(CHUCKLES) Somebody had to.

And doing the right thing's
your thing, eh?

It's a good quality in a person.

See, I told you he'd be in here.

No fun being the boring one,
is it, George? No fun at all.

But being boring is like
your art form, Dad.

I wouldn't say I was boring.

Boring people never do.

And even if they did,
no-one would hear,

'cause they're all too busy
listening to Robbie or Terry.

You're not impressed with
the newest McNamara venture?

While Robbie wows one and all
by merely bending over

and letting the sun's rays
work their magic,

I'm back here
with the rest of the chopped liver.

Big Mac seems to be lapping it up.

The Terrys and Robbies of this world
can do no wrong.

Haven't you worked that out yet?

They remain the pride and joy,

while you and I are
forced into the shadows

like the bitter killjoys
that everyone thinks we are.

The boring people.

I'm not a bitter killjoy or boring.

It's alright. It skips a generation.
Shay and Arlo should be fine.

Glad you've finally
clambered aboard, George.

Well done.
Gloria did a lot of the work.

She always does.
And do I get a 'well done'?

Let me know if you want me
to write a follow-up story about

how you're going bankrupt.

I'd rather you concentrated on
your speech.

Yeah, about that...

The speech talking up your brother,
the town, their hopes and dreams.

In other words, proving
what a party pooper you aren't.

You're our man of words!

And nobody tells it
quite like family, do they?

(DRONE BUZZES)

Ollie!

It's funny when we do it to Sean.
Otherwise not so much.

So, do you want to go
to the opening?

I'm already going.
It's my uncle's restaurant.

Oh, right. Well, I'll see you there,
then, 'cause I'm working there.

So, it's a date.

In the broadest sense of the word.

Sweet.

First day nerves?

No, not really.

But maybe.

OK, yeah, definitely.

You'll be fine.
You'll learn a lot from Terry.

Just don't let him
or any of his crew

talk you into doing anything
you don't want to do.

Like slicing onions all day.

That's not what I meant.

You're talking about THEM
like they're moral degenerates.

They're just kitchen people.

Yeah, Dad.
What's the worse that can happen?

(EXHALES)
Yeah, it's gonna be great.

Alright, front of house -
be polite and circulate.

Kitchen peeps -

you all have your assignments
and you're working with the finest,

so do exactly as they tell you
and you'll be sweet.

So, are we ready to rock this party?

ALL: (DEMURELY) Yep.

Listen, you guys are gonna smash
this thing right out of the park.

Alright?

So are we ready to rock this party?

(ENTHUSIASTICALLY) Yeah!
Alright, that's much better.

MAN: Alright, let's start
prepping this salad.

What's an amuse bush
when it's at home?

Amuse-bouche, and it's like
another name for hors d'oeuvre.

If you say so. Is Emma coming?

No, she isn't.
Why not?

I thought she was the best thing
that ever happened to you.

OK, Lindsay, you got me.

The long distance thing
didn't work out, OK,

so Emma and I aren't together
anymore.

It's over, so just leave me alone.

When Terry was four,
I watched him invent

a potato chip
and apricot jam sandwich.

The look on his face
was one of pure unadulterated joy.

And I've seen that look
many times since.

Always in the kitchen.

That's how Terry feels about
what he does.

And what, if we're lucky...

he shares with us
on nights like this one.

SHAY: Haven't you finished
that thing yet?

Wow. Just look at you.

You won't be ashamed to have me
on your arm at such an occasion?

I would be proud beyond all belief.

I just wish your mother was here
to see you.

Me too.

Now finish your damn speech.

(LOW-LEVEL CONVERSATION)

Um, names?
Look under Turner.

Try smiling, Dad.

(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS)

Who are these people?

She won't go back there, Dad.
She's way too bright for that.

Thank you.

I need to speak to Tom.

Are you gonna be OK on your own
for a bit?

Yeah, go. Do what you need.
No need to worry about me.

Hey! You're here.
Of course.

Made especially for you.

By Uncle Terry and his team
of willing slaves.

Willing slaves are
the best sort to have.

Stop chatting up pretty girls
and start circulating, mate.

Shay, your painting's
been a bit of a hit.

Dennis' painting.
Yeah, whatever.

People are asking about it.

MAN: How long for that caprese
and prosciutto?

MAN 2: Plating up now. We're
nearly there. We're nearly there.

Hey, it's conf-ee.
They're not confit.

Your sister looks hot tonight.

Whatever. Just go.
MAN: Fire up that lamb.

Hey, we're running low on wontons,

so should I start plating
the rouleau?

Sorry. Chef.
You go for it, kid.

You're a natural, Arlo!

MAN: OK, more drinks
out of the fridge, please.

You must be bummed about Emma.

I'm here to work, Lindsay,
and so are you.

Daniel left me
on the side of the road in Balls.

What?
Balls. It's a town.

He said I was driving him mad.

Made me get out of the car
and then drove away.

So I know what it feels like.

And I was just trying to tell you
that it sucks

and I really am sorry.

Come on, let's get those fishes
going, mate.

It doesn't say 'plus one'.
No, just you, Miss Dennis.

Yeah, and I'm nobody's plus one,
either, mate.

Wow! Get you, you sexy thing.

Not too bad for
a small town surfer chick, eh?

You look sensational.

Thanks, George.

You know, he's not so bad,
that brother of yours.

You should really cut him
some slack.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have been instructed to
charm the hell out of the room.

They're rouleau de fruits de mer.

Hey, um, how's Arlo getting on
back there?

So into it. I think the Sydney
hipsters want to adopt him.

Dad, you have to stop looking
at Arlo and seeing Terry.

George, can you help?
We've got this situation outside.

Mate, I built half this joint.
But you're not on the list.

I hurried the consent
through council,

possibly breaking a few laws.

I should be on top of the list!
But you're not ON the list.

He got in. He doesn't even like his
brother. And I provided the cheese!

What's going on, Jared?

Uncle Robbie said that I can't let
anyone in who's not on the list,

and they're not on the list.

Oh, yeah! Not even a plus one.
How low is that?

Terry said I should come.

Did Terry talk to you at all
about the invite list?

No, just Uncle Robbie.
Typical.

I'm sorry, but my brother
is not very good

when it comes to details like
who gets invited.

Just wait here and I'll see if
I can sort something out.

Flag that. We should rush the door.

Please! This is worth
three NCA credits.

Oh, forget it.
I don't go where I'm not wanted.

All these flash city people
would be eating beans on toast

if I hadn't have caught
the kaimoana.

You tell your brother
the price has just doubled.

Yeah, too right. Who wants
real traditional Weld food?

Fish and chips on the beach?
ALL: Yeah, alright.

Shit cheese is for posers anyway.

Yeah, come on, babe.
You can be my plus one.

But I was looking forward to
the yummy food.

Sorry about this.
Don't be.

This is exactly the sort of crap
my brother brings with him.

Names?

Half the locals
who made this place possible

have just been turned away
at the door.

So? They weren't on the list, mate.

But this place doesn't exist
without them, their work.

Take a look around you, George.
Tonight isn't about them.

Tonight's about
getting the bills paid.

So if a few locals have got
their noses out of joint, too bad.

I'll sort them out later
with a cheap meal,

if they can get a booking.

Oh, and another thing,

that speech you were gonna make
won't be necessary.

But your father asked me.

Yeah, I know, but I think
it's more appropriate he speaks,

seeing as he's paying for
the whole thing.

And you think this place
is gonna fail.

Paoka roulettes?

My Uncle Terry may be a mess in many
ways, but when it comes to food...

I need you to do me a favour.
Stay here.

If they keep bringing me food,
not a problem.

Where are you going?
Anywhere that isn't here.

I need you to keep an eye on Arlo.

You mean make sure he's not doing
tequila shots with the kitchen crew.

Sure, no probs.

What happened to your speech?
Lost in translation.

Well, at least you still wrote it
and thought it,

even though you didn't get to
say it.

Thanks. I'll be back later.

Just a few words, that's all.
No, I hate that kind of thing.

Thought George had it covered.

Yeah, George decided
he didn't want to speak.

George, are you off?

Word is there's fish and chips
on the beach.

Can I come too?

Isn't it your family duty
to stay here?

Probably.

I should have told Robbie
what he can do with his family duty

when he told me I couldn't bring
Siouxsie, 'cause she scares people.

Enjoying yourself?

Food is awesome.
It's nice to get dressed up.

I'm not entirely sure about
the clientele.

Yeah, that pretty much covers it.

What happened to your dad?

He left.

Is he OK?

I don't know, Fiona. You tell me.

What happened with you two?

Um, why? What has he said?

That you stepped back, backed off

or whatever it is you say
when you're breaking up,

even though you two are
totally into each other.

Um, it's complicated.

Because of Jan and the babies?

They might not even be his.

It's still complicated.

But it is about babies.

Just not Jan's babies.

Other potential future babies,
or not.

Oh.

(LAUGHTER) There she is.

Where's Katie?
Uh, no idea.

It doesn't matter. You'll do.

Rae, here, is interested in
Dennis' latest masterpiece.

This one?

I already have a couple.

They're great investment pieces,

and I think this may be
his best one yet.

I'm not sure this one's for sale.

(LAUGHS) Pull the other one.

Dennis would sell iceblocks
to Eskimos if he could.

Of course it's for sale.

That's unsigned.

Which is why we can't sell it.

No, no, no, we'll get Katie
to get Dennis

to provide a letter
of authentication.

He can sign it next time he's home.

I don't think he's ever coming home,
actually.

Nonsense! I was talking to him
the other day.

He can't wait to get back.

Oh, you talk to him, do you?
All the time.

Hey, I'll tell you what.

Katie will knock off a few thou
for the inconvenience.

I'm not sure we can make
those sort of promises...

Trust me. She can do with the sale.

(CHUCKLES)

Now, a piece like this, Rae,
is worth 30 thou easy.

But, for you, today, 25,000.

It's a one-time-only offer.
Take it or leave it.

I'll take it. Be a fool not to.

Sold!
(GLASSES CLINK)

Katie's gonna be rapt!

(LAUGHTER)

Crab and cabernet sauvignon's
all very nice,

but you can't beat a good honest
potato, can you, George?

Too right, yeah.

What if mysteriously, the next batch
of seafood that Zac delivers

is somehow infected with a toxin

that makes everyone
projectile vomit?

No, my stuff's fresh as.

Give me two hours on the internet,
I'll find exactly what we need.

No, hang on, hang on.
Why would we want to do that?

Revenge for being excluded.
Right.

That would make George's brother
look bad,

and it wasn't really his fault.

Plus, everyone booking at
the restaurant

are bringing in
many rental dollars.

I took more in the store today
than I have in the last month.

SEAN: If Weld gets discovered,
think of all the building permits.

WOODY: Think of all the buildings!
TRACEY: School role might go up.

You could start a fleet of
taxi buggies, Ike.

Yeah!
OK, OK, it was just a suggestion.

(LAUGHTER)

(ALL SPEAK AT ONCE)

They're a forgiving bunch,
aren't they?

They're realists.

There are bigger things in life
than not being invited to a party.

(LAUGHTER)

Come on. Meet your adoring public.

Oh! Do I have to?
Ha! Shut up.

You know you love it. Come on.

Thank you very much.
Thank you for coming.

FIONA: You really like this guy, eh?

Yeah.

He's totally awesome,
in every way, actually.

Good for you.

If you tell anyone I said that,
I will deny it.

Fancy a roadie?

Oh, actually,
I'm gonna call it a night.

Well, I'm all yours
if you want a lift.

Thanks, Robbie. I'm good.

How do you put up with him?

Could have gone away
when he came back, I suppose.

Should have gone away.
But you didn't.

This is where I live.
Me and my girl.

I can't imagine living
anywhere else.

We've been trying to figure out
how much it would cost

to eat at your brother's restaurant.

The restaurant of
both of your brothers.

Humungous amounts.

50 a main?
(GEORGE CHUCKLES)

Seriously?
Mm.

If you're looking at what it costs,
you shouldn't be eating there.

It's not really very Weld, is it,
the whole fine-dining thing?

I guess it isn't.

Not that it really matters,
'cause you'll never eat there.

I might! On a flash night out.
Saved up.

No, I mean it's booked up
for the next six months.

What happened to it
popping up for three months?

I've heard Robbie on the phone

taking deposits for tables
way after that.

You're thinking your brother will be
long gone by then, aren't you?

I've given up warning people about
Terry's ability to cut and run.

When add Robbie to the mix,
what could possibly go wrong?

At least then Weld will go
back to being Weld again.

I wish it was that easy.
Isn't it?

Well, not if he leaves Hannah a mess

or Big Mac loses all his money

or Arlo joins the Terry circus.

Arlo's one thing, but the others
can look after themselves.

They're not your problem.

I wish.

But when it comes to Terry and me,
it doesn't really work that way.

GEORGE: (NARRATES) As a grown-up,

you take your responsibilities
seriously.

That's what being an adult
is all about.

So I've always thought of my brother
as my responsibility.

That it was my job to clean up
whatever mess he left behind.

(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS)

You should have seen him.

He knew what to do
and everyone did as he said.

Your brother's the man.

MAN: Shots?
Oh, no, thank you.

We actually have school
in the morning.

Right, Lindsay?
Yeah.

I'm good, thanks.

Hey, there. Did you need someone
to walk you home?

Asking me yourself
instead of getting

your creepy little flying friend
to do it?

Progress, Ollie.

So, tick yes?

Tick yes.

GEORGE: (NARRATES) A long time ago,
for various reasons,

I decided my brother was
my responsibility.

So when he turned up here at Weld,

I worried about the chaos
he would leave behind.

Now I worry about the damage
he'll do while he's still here.

Hey, Mum, did you know

that if you eat the worm
at the bottom of the tequila bottle,

you see naked ladies?

What on earth?

You OK?

Yes. Yes, I just...

I didn't remember
Dennis' latest work being so...

Is Shay still here?

Uh, no. She walked home with Ollie.

Arlo in the kitchen?
Yep.

We'll get going. See you, George.
See you.

(SLURS) George!

Still pouring your cold water

when all around you are
the signs of unparalleled success?

(CHUCKLES)
Not that I'm aware of, Big Mac.

ROBBIE: Come on, Dad.
It's time to get you home.

(MUMBLES) OK. Rae...

Hey, Dad!

Where's your uncle?
Out the back.

OK, wait in the car, Arlo.

You too, Lindsay,
if you want a ride.

So... is he cool with this?

No. He's definitely not cool.

Cheers, to the good night. Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!
Cheers, eh?

(LAUGHTER)

Well, here he is -
my sensible big brother.

Come back to tell me off again?

Even though we smashed it
out of the park, didn't we?

Whoo-hoo!
Yes!

I'm just here to take my son home.

He's a star, George.

He's the new me.

Of you if you weren't such a pussy.

Good to know.

And I hope you're happy now that
you've got everyone's hopes up.

Before you abandon them.

Terry!

Couldn't even be arsed

to say a few nice words
about your little brother, huh?

Yeah.

You're a real triumph, Terry.

Take care.

GEORGE: (NARRATES)
This week I had to write a speech

that I ended up not giving.

It was about my brother, who,
when he was just a little kid,

I saw teetering
at the top of a staircase

and, my heart in my mouth,

I ran over and pulled him back
before he fell.

He just laughed...

headed straight back to the stairs
and threw himself down them...

to see what it was like.

And that, over and over again,
is the story of my brother and I.

.

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