All language subtitles for 800 Words s02e07e08.eng

GEORGE: Fact - people die.

Fact - when someone dies, what
makes them real, makes them human,

goes with them.

I know this to be true

from the hours that I spent
sitting with my wife

in the days after she died.

Her face,
the one I'd loved for so many years,

was the same face.

But the person I loved
was no longer in residence.

Laura had left the building.

Fact - just because
someone has left the building

doesn't mean
they can't come back to be...

A complete pain in
the proverbial backside.

Hey there, you.
Hey there, you.

Hope I'm not disturbing you.
No, no. Same old, same old.

Just thought you might like to know
we're coming over.

To here?
Yep.

For the one year.
Oh, my god. Has it been a year?

Almost.
Holy...

Exactly.

Roger and Trish are very keen
that we're all there.

They have something planned.
They do? What?

They won't say.
Uh, I don't see this ending well.

Yep. We'll cross that bridge
when we come to it.

One year.

Far out.
Yeah, exactly.

How are you feeling?

Think it'll sneak up on me
when I least expect it,

which is why, I suspect,
I will need you by my side.

When is this thing
they've got planned?

Well, we're looking at heading over
next week for a week or so.

Bugger, I'm not here.
You're not?

No, I'm away on a story in Perth.

You're the editor.
You never leave the office.

Times are tough, George. Even the
editor has to go to the coalface.

Can't you get a lackey to do it?
No.

Not next week, I'm afraid. Sorry.

Bugger.
Bugger.

What do you think
they've got planned?

I mean, I know we should go

and we definitely need to do
something for Mum but...

Oi.

I was kind of hoping
we could do something here.

Why is that, Arlo? Because
you finally got a girlfriend?

Yes, actually.

And there is a clock ticking
until she leaves.

Maybe Anna can come with us.

We're not going to Sydney.

Yes, we are.

No, we're not.

Are we good?
You and I? Yeah, of course.

Just, you seem a bit...

We're fine, George.

I'm just bummed I'm not
gonna be here to hold your hand

for the Roger and Trish show.

Yeah, I'm looking forward to that.

Yeah, well, just grit your teeth
and remember it's all about Laura.

(RINGTONE PLAYS)

And, speak of the devil,
Roger and Trish.

Probably with a dress code
for the event.

Yeah, well, you better take that.

Absolutely, I must.

George?
Trish. It's me.

Did you put her up to it?

ARLO: Seriously, why aren't we
going to Sydney?

Put who up to what?
Shay.

But I agreed to
pay you back for the ticket.

Not that.
What she took with her.

Sorry?

I'm not giving her back?
Giving who back?

She what?

We went to check on
Laura's ashes in the urn

when we were talking about
the crypt and they weren't there.

Sorry, the what?

The crypt, though mausoleum is more
accurate and ornamental house is...

The point is, George,
Laura's ashes were not in her urn.

And you think Shay took them?
Who else?

Well, are you sure your cleaner

didn't put them
up the vacuum cleaner?

This is my daughter
you're talking about.

And my wife.

All of us were told,
in no uncertain terms,

never to touch the urn.

We're sure it was Shay, George.

Shay.

Yeah.

We're definitely
not going to Sydney.

Shay, what are they talking about?

Grandpa was talking about
building this thing for Mum.

A crypt.

Yeah, this monument
where he and Grandma

could show off dead Mum
to their mates

and it freaked me out really bad.

Mum would die, even more,

being stuck in a place like that
for eternity.

You get what I'm saying, right?
So, you stole the ashes?

I defended Mum against...

You took Laura's ashes
and you brought them here, right?

Yes.

You smuggled Mum into New Zealand?
Yes, didn't I just say that?

And no-one noticed

you had the remains of our mother
in your luggage?

Obviously not.

But New Zealand is, like,
obsessed with biosecurity.

Which part of "obviously not"
wasn't obvious enough for you?

Where's Laura now?

Well, that's dignified.

It's more dignified than
what they were planning.

Dubious.

No, Arlo. I saved her.

I literally saved Mum
from a fate worse than death.

Yes, the ashes are here
and they're intact.

Then you need to bring them back
when you come over.

No. That's not gonna happen.

I told you he'd side with her.

Look, it's not a question
of me siding with Shay.

It's a question of me being
weirded out by this whole thing.

I'm not even sure what the laws are

when it comes to transporting ashes
between countries, for a start.

Well, that didn't
seem to worry Shay.

Yeah, well, young people don't think
about things like that. I do.

So, she wins?

It's not a question of
winning, Trish.

Why didn't you tell me
about the crypt?

We assumed, when you left
her ashes with us, it was our call.

No. No, it was...

It was the best way
to deal with things at the time.

We agreed that we would talk about it
after a year.

And we thought you'd like the idea
so we went ahead.

Well, I don't,
starting with the word crypt.

It freaks me out, like Laura's gonna
rise up, wrapped in bandages.

Which is why you don't
dwell on the word...

Look, if you're not going to bring
her back here, well, send her back.

What? No, I'm not putting Laura
in a box and posting her back to you.

So, you get to keep her?
Only until we work something out.

And it is not gonna be a crypt.

Do you have a better suggestion?
No.

No, I...

I don't.

We'll come to you.

Obviously, we need to sort this out
face to face,

so it's best we come to you, unless
you have a better suggestion.

No.
No.

No.
Good.

And goodnight.
Night.

Thank you.

For what?
Not giving in to them.

Don't.
Don't what?

Don't try and make me a hero when all
I want to do is be furious with you.

I did what you would've done.
Not necessarily.

Fine. Then I did what was right.

And now the grandparents of
the apocalypse are heading this way.

Are they gonna stay here with us?

There must be something somewhere.

You do grasp what time of year
it is, don't you, George?

Yes, yes, when all the summer people
flock into town.

There is so little
accommodation available

that we don't even run
an Accommodation Available section

because it just gets
people's hopes up.

What about the yurt place?
The what place?

The yurt place.

I don't think George's in-laws
sound like yurt people, honey.

Well, that depends. What's a yurt?

It's a portable structure
the Mongol hordes carried with them

as they swept across Asia.

I didn't think the Mongol hordes
made it as far as Weld.

They didn't but hippies did.

And, for a fee, they will
erect a yurt in your backyard.

Yeah, well, there are certain
Mongol horde similarities

but Gloria's right -
I don't think they're yurt people.

I think all those yurts
are being used

up in the Drum and Bass Festival
near Stafford anyway.

Could always try the motel.

They get a lot of cancellations.

I've stayed at that motel.
I know why they get cancellations.

That's us out of options.

Unless Monty has something empty.

Sorry, George,
but this time of year...

..even the least desirable property

is desired in ways that bring joy to
the heart of the agent renting them.

There's not something on the market
that's standing empty?

Those, prize snapper,
have long since swum off

to spawn many, many rental dollars.

You could try the yurt place.

Something about
a Drum and Bass Festival.

Ah, right, yeah.

They're pretty big on yurts,
the drum and basses.

Hey, why don't you try the motel?
They've always got cancellations.

At least, if they stay at the motel,

they'll have some idea what
it's like to be stuck in a crypt.

The best thing you can do for
the foreseeable future, young lady,

is remain very quiet.

Did you seriously just use
the phrase "young lady"?

So, I guess they'll be
staying with us then.

We can put them in my room
and I'll sleep on the couch.

Oh, yeah, they're so
gonna love that.

Everything OK here?

Yes, it's excellent, thanks, Emma.

She... she really does try her best.

Yeah, not that you're biased.

We need to get them in the best
frame of mind possible, alright?

Well, staying at our place
isn't gonna help that.

They like to drink.

Well, so, we just keep them drunk
all the time.

Can't hurt.

Hey, Woody, you wouldn't
be able to whip up

a brand-new bedroom with ensuite
by tomorrow, can ya?

With ensuite.

Uh, it's a bit tricky
with all the plumbing

and, no, I can't
because I promised Trace

that I would fix her cupboard door
that's been sticking.

Why? What's the big rush?

Laura's parents are coming to visit.
Oh, the flash ones.

Yep. Them.

Coming to see the grandkids, eh?
Aw, that's nice.

It's not that straightforward.

It's been one year
since Laura passed away.

Oh, my god.
Momentous.

Well, you know, if I could help,
I would, mate.

Woody, I didn't really expect you
to whip me up a room in 24 hours.

We just need to find somewhere
for them to stay, somewhere nice.

You should try the motel.
He said nice, Woody.

I can sort something out for you.

I thought everything was full up
at this time of year.

It is, except this place.

How come?

Are you looking a gift horse
in the mouth, George?

Well, no offence
but these are very picky people.

OK, well, how about
you finish your lunch

and then you and I can take a drive

and, if it doesn't meet
your very high standards,

you can carry on looking elsewhere.

Truly can't be any worse
than the motel.

Yeah.

Wow.

GEORGE: Emotions can be managed
up to a point.

The right setting,
the right ambience,

can go a long way
towards the desired tone,

the best in which...

Ideally.

..emotions can be
massaged and moulded.

How is this place empty
at this time of year?

Oh, long-ish story.

Think it'll do the trick?

Oh, they'll find fault in it,
as they always do,

but it's light years better
than staying at my place.

This is great.

Suitable for your in-laws?
Absolutely.

And I'm not just saying that
because the best alternative

this far is a yurt.

The yurts are all in Stafford.

So, why is it empty?

How long are they staying?

Well, that very much depends on
how the negotiations go.

I'm sorry?

It's been a year since Laura died.

Oh, my god.

We were meant to be going over there
but there's a slight problem,

in that Shay...

..hijacked the ashes.

What?

When Shay came back from Sydney,
she brought Laura...

..or at least Laura's ashes with her.

Oh. K.

Let's just say there's an ongoing
dispute over the final resting place.

So, I can rent this from whoever
owns it for as long as they stay?

Oh, it's fine.

I don't want money.

This is your place?
Yeah.

In a roundabout sort of way.

But what about where you live?
Also mine.

I'm a lady of property.
I'm quite a catch, actually.

This house was given to
Robbie and me on our wedding day.

Big Mac.
Got it in one.

Generous man.

Well, the catch was we were
to fill it with grandchildren

but, of course, Robbie moved out
by moving to prison

and I couldn't stand
being here anymore

so moved back to my old place.

It's been empty ever since.

Actually, you should probably
speak to Big Mac,

even though, legally,
it belongs to Robbie and me.

You know what he's like.

In his head, it still belongs to him.
You're onto it.

Are you OK?
Yeah. Why?

One year.

You know, I haven't really
stopped to think about it yet.

Events have kind of
gotten in the way.

Well, when you do, if you need
a shoulder to cry on...

Thank you.

How on earth did you
get her through customs?

In a boot.
A boot?

Yes, stuffed in my boot
in my bag

and, yes, I'm a terrible person
and it really wasn't dignified

but I was in a hurry to
get out of there so I...

I...it was what worked at the time.

No-one's saying
you're a terrible person.

This thing that my grandparents
were talking about building.

The crypt.
Yes.

It sounded hideous.

It was a monument to them, not her.

Ooh, the crypt.

Will you stop saying that?
Sorry. Just, it's a cool word.

But my mum isn't ending up in one,
if I have anything to do with it.

So, where is she now, your mum,
her ashes?

In a plastic bag in a bowl
on the kitchen bench.

Oh, no. No, that won't do at all.

Come with me.

Where?
You'll see. Come with me.

And she was actually at the house
when she made this offer?

Yes.
Wow.

After vowing she would never again

set foot in
my exceedingly generous gift?

I think she was just trying
to do me a favour

and it is a lovely house.

(GRUNTS)

And these are Laura's parents?

Yes. With all that that entails.
Which is what?

Well, they're old-school, money,
Sydney with certain expectations.

Certainly ones that I've never
been able to live up to.

They sound fascinating.
That's another word for it.

Yes, of course you can
use the house, George.

Thanks.
On one condition.

Which is?

You let me host a party for them
when they arrive.

It can be a celebration of family.

Um...

(MOTOR STARTS)

(PHONE RINGS)

Accommodation issue sorted.
That's good.

You need to grab Arlo
and come to Zac's place.

Why? What have you done now?

I haven't done anything.

Get your arse up here, George.
It's all good.

Why do Arlo and I
need to go to Zac's?

I don't know. They won't tell me
until you guys get here.

They just keep smiling at me.

OK. On my way.

Hello.
Ohp, got it.

Still can't believe
you smuggled your mum.

That's some balls right there.

Didn't really think of it like that.

Oh.
In terms of balls.

I like that you did
what you thought was right.

Hey. Welcome.
Have a seat.

As requested, here we are.
Go and get the thing.

Why are we here?

When families argue
over things like this,

usually the one who gets forgotten

is the most important
person in the room.

Which is why, luckily,
Zac has one or two skills,

beyond fathering children.

The thing is, we get how
families will always argue

about what happens to loved ones

long after the loved one
shuffles off.

And that's why we have hura kohatu.

A year after the passing in Latangi,
everyone gets together again

and the headstone is unveiled.

And all the arguments
that happened the year before

are meant to be put to rest.

Sometimes they are,
sometimes not so much.

But we figure, even if you guys

are still arguing over Laura
a year later,

she may as well be resting
in something made with aroha

while you do it.

Aroha means love.

Yeah, I got the context,
thanks, Billy.

It's gotta be better
than a plastic bag, right?

Yeah.

Or some well-manicured version
of the ever after.

Laura would've hated it
with a passion.

Thank you, Zac.
Just looking after the loved ones.

That's what it's all about.

OK. Bring it on.

Did you scrub the toilet?
Yes.

Properly?

Yes, it sparkles.
You could eat lunch off the bowl.

Did you vacuum everywhere?

Dad, it doesn't matter.
Nothing we do will be good enough.

(PHONE RINGS)
True. But it's good to know.

Then yes.

Hello, Trish.

The address you gave us,
are you sure that's right?

Yes. Why?

We're outside that address.
Frankly, the place is a dump.

Shay said you were having work done

but this places looks half finished,
at best,

and like it's been
thrown together...

Yeah. Hi.

So, how was your flight?

It took off, landed.
Everything you want in a flight.

Good.

And the drive down?

Yeah, not much traffic.

A little bit off
the beaten path here.

It is.

We like Weld.
It suits us.

We had to cancel everything,
you know?

Cancel what?
A lot of our friends.

Most of the partners
from Laura's firm.

It was very embarrassing.
Well, I'm sorry about that.

Where is she?

Shay?

We had no idea you had
such a big deal planned.

It was meant to be a surprise.

This is by a local craftsman.

This is your plan
for her final resting place?

No, we don't actually have a plan.

Then you won't mind
if we take Laura home with us.

Yes, we do, actually, and that is
what we're here to talk about.

So, let us talk.
No, not now.

There's a party
in your honour tonight.

In our honour?
Yes. You'll see.

And I need to get you
to your accommodation.

Well, we're not staying here?

No, we don't actually
have a spare room.

So, I arranged a house.
Well, that's a pity.

Yes, it is.

Shall we go now?

Big Mac will send a car for you.

Big Mac, as in the hamburger?

No, as in Bill McNamara,
it's just what people call him.

Is it formal because
we haven't exactly packed...?

Whatever you wear will be fine.

You entrusted her to us.

I had many other things on my mind.

Going mad? Shifting our only
grandchildren to another country?

This would never have happened
if you'd stayed in Sydney.

We'd still have to have
this conversation, though.

Or you quite simply could've
accepted our very generous offer.

No.

I'm with Shay on this one.
This whole crypt idea...

It helps if you don't
think of it as a crypt.

Whatever you call it, Roger,
it doesn't sound right to me.

It doesn't sound like Laura.

And do you have a better idea,
George?

That's what we'll talk about.

The car will be here at 5.

Dad, do we have to go?
Yes.

So, Grandma can have a go at me in
front of Big Mac's rich mates? Yay.

Trish knows how to play nice
in social situations.

Oh, until she gets
half a dozen wines into her.

OK, here's the thing.

Yes, Trish is angry with Shay,
with all of us.

Mainly with Shay.

So, what we have to do
is get round that

so we can knock this whole crypt idea
on the head.

And that job starts tonight
and we all have to play our part.

You got that?

Which is why we are
going to Big Mac's party

and we are going to enjoy it,

no matter how much we hate it.

Alright?

Ah, here's our driver.
Uh, hello.

Kia or a, tena korua.

What's that mean?
Means hello to the two of you.

Uh. Is that Maori?
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Are you a Maori?
No.

Maybe. Maybe a teeny bit, somewhere
in the past. You never know.

But, fundamentally, no.

Then why are you speaking Maori?

Oh, I'm just trying to show you
a little bit of local culture.

And you're this
Big Mac fellow's driver?

No.

I'm his son.

But, also, yes.

Who are these people?

I think this is Weld's version
of Downton Abbey.

The rich bit.

We may be the plebs here but
we are definitely at the right party.

Wee tipple, George?

Non-alcoholic, please.

I might need to keep
my wits about me.

Yeah. They're interesting,
your in-laws, aren't they?

Special.

Yeah. Very.

Best of luck for
your one-year thing, aye?

Thanks, Monty.

Need a friendly face?
Yes, please.

Welcome to the social elite.

A whole new world to me.
Mmm. Old world to me.

Clearly, you still have enough
standing to make the invite list.

I seriously doubt that,

although he was very insistent
that I be here.

Maybe he knew I'd need
some moral support.

Maybe he did.

We could spread Mum in the garden
around the house.

As in, fertiliser?

OK, maybe not.

Hey, grave robber.
Don't call me that.

But that thing you did
with the ash smuggling,

totally on my bucket list.

Don't tell Dad.

What about at the bottom of the
property, overlooking the sea?

Where Woody built the long drop?
Well, yeah, no-one ever used it.

And the view is great.

My dad has a secret supply
of sky rockets.

We could blast your mum into orbit.

No.
Why not? It'd be awesome.

No.

We're trying to figure out
how to dispose of Laura's body.

Ashes, not body.

Same diff.

Yeah, but not a crypt.

I'd hate to end up in one of
those things. They are creepy.

Exactly.
It's OK, Dad.

When you die, I'm gonna have you
stuffed and mounted on the wall

like this.

Yeah. You can wheel me out
to scare the kids at Halloween.

You're onto it.

My dearly departed Norma
has a lovely headstone,

nothing like what
Roger says you're planning,

but it's so comforting
to go there to remember.

A place. Just for her.
Exactly.

Been a few years since we've
been up to visit her, mind you.

That's not the point, Bill.

Knowing there's a place.
That's the important thing.

Entirely.
It's because Dad's off the rum.

Dad, here, he's a bit emotional
when he gets a few rums in him.

The rum demon, we call it.

Shouldn't you be
attending to the barbeque?

The word crypt
is inaccurate in this case

because a crypt
is typically underground.

What we're looking at
is better termed a mausoleum.

It doesn't matter what it's called,
Grandpa. It's still wrong.

Well, if you'd stayed around
long enough to see the plans,

you'd think differently.

I wouldn't bet on that.

The people at the cemetery
call it an ornamental house.

Trish and I will both
end up there too.

And you two, if you want.

It costs an absolute fortune
but they're very peaceful.

(SOMEONE DINGS A WINE GLASS)

Thank you. Thank you.

I won't take up
too much of your time.

Heard that one before.

I just want to thank you all
for coming at such short notice

and especially to welcome Roger
and Trish, our guests of honour,

here to Weld.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Hear, hear.

We wholeheartedly acknowledge
that the reasons they're here

aren't exactly ideal.

But we hope that they find
the healing they seek

in our little town.

Family.
There's nothing more important.

But it isn't easy

and sometimes the lessons we learn
aren't exactly palatable.

As most of you know,
my family's been through a hard time

over the last little while.

My son, Robbie, strayed from
the path and ended up leaving us.

But just today I've heard
some wonderful news.

My lawyers have done what lawyers do

and I'm sure I'll be
getting the bill for it.

But the point is that my son
is coming home very soon.

There's still a lot of healing
to be done

but I live in hope that we can
put the past behind us.

And, like Roger and Trish here,

we can move forward knowing that
family is the most important thing.

To family. Cheers.
MAN: To family.

Fiona. Fiona, hold on.

My guess is you knew none of that.
Good guess, George.

You OK?
No, I'm not OK.

Sorry.

It's not your fault.

Ooh, he's such a bastard.

You know, it's so typical.

He didn't even have the balls
to call me and tell me in person.

He had to bring me here
so he could tell all of his mates,

so they could all
just take a good, long look

at the woman that put
his son in prison,

just to remind everyone
who the bad person is here.

That's not remotely true, Fiona.

You were invited because
you're important to Weld and to me.

And I only found out about Robbie
20 minutes ago.

Could have taken me aside,
have a quiet word.

Oh, I think you gave up that right

when you went to the police
instead of coming to me.

So, you can sweep it
all under the rug.

Sorted out in a family way.

He still loves you, you know.

Good for him.

You should write an editorial
about prodigal sons and forgiveness.

I'll leave that to you, Big Mac.

Oh, come on, George.

Even you must realise
there are certain parallels

to our family situations.

Forgiveness required.
Decisions to be made.

You don't have to worry
about the house, though.

One of the rules is that
Robbie has to stay with me.

So, Roger and Trish can stay
as long as they like.

They're delightful people.

Basically, Uncle Robbie
was the golden child.

He was everything
my dad never was and could never be.

But he ended up in prison.
Yeah.

He was also a drug-dealing scumbag

who ripped off
a whole lot of people.

And you think your family sucks.

All I'm saying, Roger, is,
putting what Shay did to one side,

we all need to agree on this.

What I'm saying, George,
is I hear you.

But you're only speaking to
the chequebook.

How many has she had?
Enough.

You need to know...
Sure, but does it have to be now?

We took you in,
we gave you every opportunity...

Honey, maybe we can save this...

She needs to know
she took what we gave her

and threw it back in our faces.

And we can talk about
all that sort of stuff.

Arlo, go and tell Big Mac
that Roger and Trish are leaving now.

You are an ungrateful little cow.
Enough, Trish.

You want to talk?

Isn't that what
we're doing tomorrow?

You know what I meant.
Thank you but no.

I just want to sleep.

I'm not tired.
I might stay up for a bit.

Sure. Night.

Night.

GEORGE: Where emotion and politics
and history cloud things,

what you need is that person...

That special person.

..who can cut through the fog
to shine a light of clarity

on the big mess
happening before your eyes.

Aunty Fiona came home and slammed
round the kitchen, opening wine.

(SOFT CHUCKLE)

Then turned up the old music
she always plays

when she's sad or angry.

When I left, the music
was still playing

but she was snoring on the couch.

Yeah, that's got something to do
with someone getting out of jail.

Mmm. Uncle Robbie, the drug dealer.

OK.

Meanwhile, all I have to worry about
is everyone arguing over some ashes.

That and Shay being
a huge disappointment.

I don't get that.

Well, Grandma wanted Shay
to be just like Mum...

No, I mean about the ashes.

It's not like the actual person's
here anymore.

So, what does it matter?

Tell my grandparents that.

Sorry. That's your job.

Oh. I wondered when you'd get here.

Are you psychic, Woody?

I knew you were gonna say that.

Nah, I didn't really.

Nah, I just figured you'd probably
want to see a friendly face,

you know, today of all days.

It is today, isn't it?

Yes, it is.

The one-year day.

You alright?

I'd like to say I'm fine
but I suspect I'm not.

Yeah. As I suspected.

You're very perceptive.

I am, George,

which is why I figured
you'd need a surf today.

You know, despite it being the...

Non-surfing period for locals?

Yeah, but I think today
we can make an exception, aye?

Well, are you sure that's wise
after your...?

George, there is nothing wrong
with my noggin

that wasn't already wrong with it.

Are they doing follow-up tests?

Enough about me.
Today is about you, my friend.

And Laura.
Yes. Laura as well.

And Roger and Trish
and Shay and Arlo.

Yeah, all of 'em, all of 'em,
but right here, right now,

you and me are gonna go and rip
the livin' daylights out of her.

(CHEEKY LAUGH)

Seriously, are they doing
brain tests on you?

GREG JOHNSON:
Everything you ever
love is everything you'll ever own

Uh, you guys are up early.
We're early risers.

Yeah, well, I thought
maybe after last night...

The place was open
so we let ourselves in.

I'm sure that's how it works
around here.

Yes, absolutely.

The kids are sound sleepers.
They'll be up soon.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Breakfast?

Why don't I get breakfast started?
That usually gets them up.

(ROCK TUNE PLAYS)

Good morning.

TRISH: Morning, Arlo.

(PHONE BUZZES)

Hey, it's George here.
Just checking.

Hope you're OK after last night.

Can you call me when you get this?

You're not hungry, Trish?
I'm fine. Thank you, George.

So, how'd the exams go?

Good. Excellent endorsements
across the board.

And that's good, eh?

Can't really get much better.

These are these
New Zealand exams, right?

NCEA.

Do they hold any weight
in the real world?

I have no idea.

But, you know, excellent.
Sounds good. Well done.

It's good that someone's
doing well at school.

Oh, and away we go.

We took you in!

And we gave you every opportunity
and how did you repay us?

Well, I'm gonna be paying for it
forever, Grandma.

I'm well aware of that.

Today is the day.

One year to the day.

Now, however it happened,
she's here now

so shouldn't we be
talking about that,

what we're gonna do with Laura?

We have made our position very clear
on that matter.

That is true and we have made
our position equally as clear.

Without offering any alternative.

Well, that is what we are here
to discuss.

I suppose we could take half each.

We are not dividing Mum in half.

We have a place for her to rest
where we can visit her.

And what's the alternative?
What alternative have you got?

That she stays here,
a place that she has never been?

A place that you would never
have come to if she hadn't died?

Better than spending eternity
in some monstrosity

just so you can show off
to your rich mates.

That's unfair.

Is it? Mum would hate your idea.

You don't know that.
Yes, I do.

It goes against everything
she believed in.

Nonsense.

This is my mother we're talking
about. I think I would...

And my daughter!

Mine. My only girl.

My beautiful, beautiful girl who
I miss every second of every day.

And you think I don't?

It's different for you.
You're young.

Children should never die
before their parents.

It's just wrong.

Can I say something here?

Yeah, of course.

Mum's dead.
Oh, duh, genius.

No, listen to me.

Mum's dead.

She's gone.

You know, whatever is in that box,
that isn't her.

Mum lives in here now.

And here.

So, to me, anyway, arguing over
a handful of ashes

on the day when we're
supposed to be remembering her,

laughing at stories at her
and crying if we want to,

I think Mum would be really pissed
if she heard us.

If she were here to hear us.

That's all.

OK. Come with me.

Come on.
Where?

You'll see.

Shay. Bring Laura.

GEORGE: There is an innocence
to youth,

a worldview unclouded by history
and the politics of everyday life.

One of the great things
about innocence

is that it is an excellent aid
to clarity.

As it turns out.

Hey, run up ahead and check

there's no locals doing local things,
alright?

Well, there are no cars here.
Just better to be safe that sorry.

Where's he off to?

A call of nature.

This way.

(EXCITED CHATTING)

MAN: Yes. Come on, get in.

ARLO: No. No, no.
WOODY: Don't push me!

(GIGGLING)

Oh.
Hey. G'day, Arly.

Coming in for a swim, mate?

Hey, don't mind us.
We've just been hiking so...

Will we jump in...?

No, no, no, no, no.
What are you doin'?

Just not now. Please.
What?

Just go, hike.
Righto. Alright.

Come on.
OK.

You OK?
Yep. All good.

So, what do you think?

About what?

Here.
It's very pretty.

Are you suggesting
we scatter her ashes here?

Why not?

A place that means nothing to Laura.

Well, isn't that
always gonna be the case?

I mean, Laura's never been to

this ornamental thing
that you're building for her.

Yeah, well, that's different.
Is it?

Yeah.
Why?

'Cause it's purpose built
as a place to house the remains.

The remains.

Is that why you're gonna go there
every anniversary of Laura's death?

Because her remains are there?

It's a place to go and remember
and that's all it will ever be.

If you're going there
and thinking about her remains,

then I reckon you're thinking
about all the wrong things.

This place...

I know Laura never came here.

But, if she had...

..I reckon she would've loved it.

And what's important to me is that,
if we were to scatter her ashes here,

that, every time we came here,

we would remember her
and Laura would always live on.

And, in Sydney, you build
whatever you need to build

and, whenever you go there,
you will remember Laura

and, in that way, she lives on.

You don't need the remains
to build a shrine, right?

So, what do you think?

Yeah, I can live with that.

I like it, love.
I really like it as an idea.

George is right.

I mean, we can have our Laura place

and George and Shay and Arlo
can have theirs.

It makes sense.

And I think... I think our girl
would be really happy here.

Grandma, I know this isn't
what you planned

and I know that's my fault.

But here, this place,
this is totally Mum.

Don't you agree?

I do.

I can see that. Mmm.

(MUFFLED SPEECH)

Oh, Woody!
No...

Woody...
That's so sad!

(CLEARS THROAT)

Woody and Tracey were kind of here.

You can come out now, Woody.

So... yep.

Sorry, mate.

It's just that, when you said the...

(WHISPERS)
It's OK.

When I go, George, I want you to be
the one that gives the speech, OK?

And I'd like for it to be here,

if that's not treading on
Laura's toes, so to speak.

G'day, mate. I'm Woody.

Hi.

Tracey. Hi.

It's Weld. You get used to it.

So, how would you say

New Zealand academic standards
compares to Australia?

The good Australia schools,
I'm talking about.

Right up there, I'd say.

Because, if he's got promise,
I mean, real promise,

it would be a tragedy if the boy
is stuck in a backwater.

You get my drift?

Drift well and truly got.
And there's no danger of that.

As far as I'm concerned, Arlo can
have any future he chooses.

ANNA: There you go.

The rest will be right out.

I think she quite likes you.

Uh, this isn't what I ordered.

Oh, yeah.
It's a Weld thing.

Thanks.
Oh.

Can I tell you something?
Certainly, dear.

One of the reasons that
I couldn't stay in Sydney

is I realised
I would never be like mum.

And I didn't... I didn't
want to disappoint you.

Shay, I would never want you
to be your mother.

All I will ever want is for you
to be the best you you can be.

Whatever that is.

Well, what are your plans
for when you leave here?

I mean, this is a beautiful place,
now, in summer,

and it's perfect for George to
write his columns and what have you,

but it's not a place
for young people, is it?

Not in the long term.

It's a pretty cage but...

..it's still a cage.

GEORGE: When you strip away
the emotional baggage

the dead bring with them,

they exist in the past - gone...

But not forgotten.

The future, meanwhile,
will always be lying in wait.

Ready to trip you up at every turn.

Excuse me.

Hey there.

Oh, George. Hi.
Hi.

I got your message. Thank you.

I was gonna call you back
but then I...

I thought you probably had more
important things to think about.

It's all sorted. Done and dusted.

What a terrible thing to say.

Probably.

But good on you.

Anyway, enough about that.
How are you doing?

Hey, Fee.

Before you kick me out, 'cause I
know that's what you're gonna do,

I just want to say one thing, OK?

You were right to do what you did.

I mean, I'm not gonna lie.
It hurt at the time.

Hurt like hell, in fact.

But now I realise it was what I
needed to get my life back on track

and make things right.

And I know you and I are history

and that hurts more
than anything else.

I just hope that, at least,
we can reconnect on some level,

maybe even be friends.

Don't get your hopes up.

That's the one I love.

Can you just...?

Hey, mate. Robert McNamara.

People call me Robbie.
George Turner.

George.

Good to meet you, George.

Right, who's buying me a drink?

GEORGE WRITING: Whoever said time
flies when you're having fun

must have experienced a Kiwi summer.

The sun, the surf, the blue skies...
(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, mate. (CHUCKLES)

I can't believe
Monty sold you this place.

I did crack up when I heard.

When you were in prison?

Well, I'm out now.

George? Oh, good. You're home.

Hey. Do you play cricket?

Bat and ball game,
two teams of 11 players.

Yeah, I know what it is.
Close enough.

You're in.
In what?

The annual match against Stafford.

Yeah. And there's been an incident.

(GROWLS)

Is he going to be alright?

Concussion. He's in hospital
for observation, but, you know...

Yeah, point is, we're down a man.

Why, I'd rather just come and watch.

We don't need spectators, George.
I need a player.

Oh, hang on.
Is cricket not your game then?

He's Australian.
Of course cricket's his game.

I've played a bit but...

Top notch. Practice this Saturday.
See you in the nets.

Well...

You are not playing cricket.

It could be fun.

No, it will not be fun.

I know cricket is not for you, Dad.
You know this.

Don't take it out on me.

Take what?

Well, Emma goes home on Monday,
right?

And when does Ike go to Auckland?

This has nothing to do with that.

Well, you could always take your mind
off your woes.

Cricket team is looking for players.

Oh my god.

Just not you, Dad.

For the love of the game.

George!

Welcome.
Thanks.

To what?
The Weld XI. The cricket team.

Oh, look, now I don't think
that that's gonna be...

Did the boys explain the stakes?

The honour of the town.

Weld have won against Stafford
in a long time.

Eight crushing defeats all in a row.
Seven.

Seven defeats.

OK, rained off two years ago
with them needing one wicket.

So not technically a defeat
but certainly not a triumph.

That is gonna change.

This is gonna be our year.
Ooh, that'd be nice.

We will walk away triumphant

and Rai, Rai will stick that
in her pipe and smoke it.

See ya at practice.
Yep.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Who's...
(CLANG)

..Rai, Rai?

Oh, no, no, no. Just... just Rai.

Stafford's team manager. Rich.
Fingers in many pies.

So Stafford's version of Big Mac?

Yeah. Except a woman.

And boy, does she rub his nose in it

every time we get thrashed
by her team.

Oh, look, I don't think
this is gonna be for me.

You know, if it was social,
if it was fun, then...

No. There's nothing fun
at being demeaned

at the hands of Stafford
year after year.

Nothing fun at all, George.

WOMAN: Oh, this is a nice surprise.

Ah, yeah. How are you?

OK. Everything OK there?

Well, actually, I need some advice.

I didn't want to ask Dad and Shay
'cause that would just be weird.

Oh, look, if this is about
maths or science homework,

I have to warn you I'm...
It's sex.

Oh. I see.

Yeah. I have a girlfriend, Emma,

and, um...

it's serious and we want to...

consummate the relationship.

Consummate. Right.

You wrote an article in a magazine,
um, about your first time.

Oh god. You didn't read that,
did you?

That was more of a what-not-to-do.

Yeah, not on your parents' couch

just before they arrive home with
a group of friends to watch the NRL.

Yes, well, it was after writing
that story

that I realised
that editing was the place to be.

Let others pour out
their embarrassing...

(INHALES) But back to you.

OK, um...

Protection is very important.

It's on the list.

Good. And just...
don't be in a hurry

to do... it.

At all.

You can have plenty of fun
in a relationship without...

(INHALES) ..that.

Well, Emma and I
are quite interested in... that.

Yes, but it can complicate things.

But then again, you know, if it...

If it feels like
the right thing to do,

then go for it.
OK.

But please don't tell your dad
I said, "Go for it."

Well, I won't. OK.

What's next?

I want a word with you.
Oh, Zac, go easy.

You put him up to it, didn't you?

Who up to what?

Ike's not going to fine art school.

He's turned them down.

Don't pretend like you don't know.

He hasn't said a word to me, honest.

When did he even decide this?

See? She doesn't know.

It's still her fault.

He's staying for her.

He actually said that?

In this town, if you get a chance
to do something with your life,

you take it.

Ike isn't getting stuck here.

And they're acting like
it's my fault, Ike.

Everyone is overreacting.

And blaming me.

Like I'm some tragic hussy
who doesn't want to see...

(LAUGHS) What?
..her man... It's not funny.

Look, I'll get to uni.

Next year. I just wanna take
a gap year, hang out,

muck around and just have fun.

You're giving up your scholarship
to muck around and have fun?

The scholarship will still be there.

But right now,
I am with this incredible woman.

And I love her.

And I wanna hang out with her.
Is that so wrong?

(GASPS THEN LAUGHS)

Good morning, Arlo.

Hello!

Oh. Hi!

Hi.

(CLEARS THROAT)

(COMPUTERISED BEEPING)

Oh, stupid machine.

Oh, it always happens, the one time
you really need the machine to work.

Leave him alone.
No need to be embarrassed, love.

Nothing embarrassing
about population control.

So, you and Emma are doing the deed,
eh?

Too adorable.
No.

No, it's, um...

They're not for me.
They were on Dad's shopping list.

Were they just?
Does George know the rule

about abstaining the night
before the game?

Who is he abstaining from?

17.75, love.

Thank you!

Arlo! Don't you want your change?

ZAC: So how did we go? Are we good?

She supports his decision.

You were meant to
talk him out of it.

I never said that.

And Ike can make his own choices.

Not if it's a dumb choice!

He has the rest of his life
to go to uni.

He's meant to go now.

Everyone expected him to go away
and do amazing stuff.

So he should do something
he doesn't want to do

just because other people expect it?

Do you want him to always be
the big fish in the small pond?

The guy that could've been something
but chose to be...

easy?

Zac, you're not easy.

Well, you are,
but you're not nothing.

Look, I'm his girlfriend,
not his mother.

I want what he wants.

Hello?
(DOOR CLOSES)

Hey, George.
Oh, hi.

How's it going?

Come to sell your house, have ya?

I'm after Monty, actually.

Oh, he's at the nets, mate.

Cricket nets.

Not fishing nets.

I thought cricket practice
was on Saturday.

Dad likes to practise on his own.

To visualise his shot selection.
Oh, right.

I thought Monty was the estate agent
of the family?

Dad took over when Robbie went away.

Now Grandpa has them competing
for the job.

He's a big believer in people
fighting for what they want.

Oh! You know the rule

about abstaining
the night before the game, right?

I don't think
that's gonna be a problem.

George!

Trundle a few down.

I hear you and your brother
are job sharing.

Yes. Dad's idea.

You OK with that?
Oh, it's OK.

Got the face for real estate,
the gift of the gab and all of that.

Come on, don't be shy.

Nice!

You'll be a good asset to the team.

Well, about that. I'm not sure...
Don't say it, don't say it.

Oh, look...
No. I'm not listening.

No, the thing is I have a problem...
Yes, it bothers me.

Quite a lot, to answer your question.

The process of being shoved out of
my job by a better brother

bothers me quite a lot.

Robbie's not a better brother.

He's better than me at everything.

Except one thing. What do you reckon
that one thing might be, George?

Not ending up in prison?

Good point. Two things.
What's the other one?

Cricket.

It's all I've got to live for.

The thought of leading Weld
to our first-ever victory in years.

Well, I'm not sure I can help you
with that, Monty.

Nonsense. You're Australian.

Cricket runs in your veins.
You can bowl!

I bowled one ball.
I know talent when I see it.

Don't let me down, George.
I know you can help me win this.

OK.

Thank you.

Bowl it again.

Hey! Dad.

How was your day?

Oh, a little difficult.

Did someone say something?

Monty emotionally blackmailed me
into being in the cricket team.

Great.

Great!

Great?

So now it's OK for me
to be in the cricket team?

No. Ye... Sure.

Well, whatever you want.
Arlo, what's happened?

Happened?

You're doing that thing you do
when you're hiding something.

What? What thing I always do?
Well, I'm not gonna tell you

because then you won't do it and I
won't know when you're hiding stuff.

I...I do a thing?
Yeah.

Your mother pointed it out
when you were three years old.

When you put your toast in the DVD
player and blamed it on the postman.

Right. And if I hadn't have done
this thing,

you would've believed
it was the postman?

Oh, come on, Arlo! Tell me.

There was a...

a misunderstanding
at the Super Store.

What kind of misunderstanding?

Well, um...

So Emma's leaving on Monday.

Yeah.
And, you know,

we want our last day and night
together to be... special.

But also safe.
Hmm.

Oh!
So I was making a purchase...

at the Super Store

and people saw,

and so now people think
the purchase was for you.

Well, why would they think that?

It just kind of played out that way.

Right.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Oh, yeah! We both do.

Yeah. Of course you do.

We're both legal
and we've talked about it.

We have protection,
as the Super Store incident proved.

Yep, OK. Um...

Do we need to have... "the talk"?

No. I... I'm good.

I had the talk with Jan.

Oh. Right.

Yes.

I...I'm all good, Dad.

And thanks.

For what?

I mean, apart from being the fall
guy for the Super Store incident.

Well, for... not being one of those
parents that tells us what to do

and what not to do.

You're... cooler than that.

Hey, Arlo?

You know there's no rush
for any of this?

Yeah, I know.

But Emma...

she's...

I love her, you know.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Hi.
Hi.

We have a problem.

Ike has an opportunity
and so, in Zac's mind,

if he doesn't take it now,

he'll still be here this time
next year with Shay, pushing a pram.

Well, there's no way on earth that's
what Shay wants. You know it's not.

George, have you not noticed...

I don't know if it's something
in the water here in Weld,

but people form bonds
that are almost impossible to break.

And they hardly ever leave.

There's a whole wide world out there
and Ike should see it.

Before the pram.

GEORGE WRITING: They say
youth is wasted on the young.

And it's true
that when you're young,

you can't believe that time
won't always be on your side -

that the fun can run out.

Hey, Dad. Is it OK
if Ike stays over tonight?

He's, ah, having some family issues.

Yeah, I heard.

And maybe Zac has a point.

If the opportunity is there...
(GROANS) Oh no, Dad. Not you too.

Well, you can still be together.

Just one of you here
and one in Auckland.

Yeah, I hear what you're saying.

But we talked about it
and we don't want an LDR.

An LDR?
A long-distance relationship.

Look, we're having fun,

so what's wrong
with spending a year hanging out?

And working and making money
and just enjoying it.

Yes, but what if...

in the course of having that fun,

a consequence of the fun
is an accidental...

responsibility?

Do you mean if I get pregnant, Dad?

Well, it happens.
Not when you're on the pill.

Which I am.

My body, my decision.

(SIGHS)
Exactly.

So can this conversation
please, please, be over now?

Hey, I'm guessing that's, ah, no?

No to me, like, staying over?

GEORGE WRITING: Once you're an adult,
you're an adult forever.

But, you know, being a grown-up
has its own advantages -

making your own decisions,

finding fun in the simple things.

Being able to say, "Bugger it!"

It's only 3:00 but I'm having a beer
because I'm an adult and I can.

Look! I can carry three plates.
(CHUCKLES)

You're a legend.

Oh! I finally get
the waitressing thing down...

and I have to go home.

Oh. Yeah.

It's OK. We still have tomorrow.

All of it. (CHUCKLES)

(TOWEL SNAP)
(GIGGLES)

It's beer o'clock.
Fair enough.

So, George...

anyone we know?
Ah, right. That.

Arlo made a purchase today...

of a protective nature.

Yeah, Hannah said.
For you, apparently.

But they're not.

Oh, really? Damn. We were just
speculating about the lucky lady.

Is there anything in this town that
doesn't get publically discussed?

I mean, would you like to know
what brand of toilet paper I use?

No. That'd be gross.

George...

we know they're not for you.

I do have Emma living with me,
right,

and we do have girly chats
from time to time.

And you're alright
with what they're planning?

Well, at least
they're actually planning it,

instead of,
oops, what just happened?

I mean, maybe I should be
more concerned than I am,

but then I think...

they're young and they're in love.

Well, that's the thing.
They're young.

They're not going to be
breaking any laws.

Don't you remember what it was like?

That... waiting for the phone call

and... the heart flutters
when somebody held your hand.

And that real, unshakeable belief

that it's possible to live
happily ever after.

And then you grow up.

George.

Robbie.
Ready Fi?

Yep.

Just let them be young, George.

Gloria...
Hmm?

you know all there is to know, right?

Correct.

Tell me about Robbie McNamara.

Good morning.
Morning.

How was work last night?

It was OK.

Yeah, well, Fiona and I had a talk
about you and Emma,

and we're OK with it.
Dad, please.

No, no, no, listen.
It's good to talk,

especially where sex is concerned,
because sex is a big deal.

No, no. Seriously.
Just a word.

And if you're mature enough to do it,

you're mature enough...
Don't mind me. Don't mind me.

I did not hear a thing.

Yah! I did. (LAUGHS)

How shameful is it, talking
to the old man about that stuff?

Sex?

Hey, if you've got any questions,

just come to the Woodster, mate.

I'm going now.

Well, hey, you've gotta take care
with women, Arlo.

And watch what you say, mate!

Especially when they're waiting
for news

about a job they've applied for,

and when they haven't heard,

they bite your head off every time
you tell them it will be sweet!

Righto. Ah, see ya.

Hey, Woody!

Woody!

Hey! I've been hearing about
Robbie McNamara.

The music festival.

Oh, yeah, what about it?

Well, Gloria said the bands
were good, the crowds came,

but people still didn't get paid.

(SCOFFS) Oh. Yeah, you mean like,
for example,

the builder who constructed
all the stages

among many other things he did
on a promise?

When you still give Robbie
the time of day?

Well, what are you gonna do?
I mean, the dude was high as a kite.

And then he got arrested.

At the festival,
dealing drugs to the punters,

after using the ticket money to buy
the drugs, as I understand it.

I guess he was kind of
trying to maximise his profits.

Yeah. But, you know.

Everyone deserves a second chance.

Even in a town
where he hurt so many people?

Well, he's clean now.

Doesn't even drink.
(OPENS CAR DOOR)

Guess he's a different guy.

Anyway, I'll see you there, eh?

(CAR ENGINE STARTS)
Where?

Cricket practice, mate.

Oh!

George! You're here.

Monty.

Good.

Right. Everyone come in, please.

Team huddle.

Now, warmups. Very important, OK?

We don't want anymore silly injuries
like we had last year,

do we, Sean, in Sean's groin?

(LAUGHS)
Ow!

Hang on. Who's missing?

Robbie.
And Fiona.

(ALL OOH)
OK, well,

we're not gonna stand around here
and gossip and speculate, OK?

We're simply observing

that Robbie and Fiona are missing
at the same time.

Takes us back a few years.

No, no, look. Here they come now.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
Ah!

Sorry! Sorry!
You're late.

Sorry.

Just like old times.

(WOMEN GIGGLE)

MONTY: OK, so, hydration...

Dammit.

We have our number 11 again.

Come on, Monty.
Why am I always the last one in?

Someone has to be.

George, you're up.

I'm happy to bat at 11.

I'll decide who bats where, thanks.
In you go.

I thought you were doing really well.

Thank you, George.

That's how you Aussies play,
isn't it?

Some of us have moved on
since the '80s, Robbie.

(LAUGHS)
I'm just messing with you, mate.

I'm having a good day today,
actually.

I was just up at the old place
with Fi this morning.

You know how it is, mate,
when you start reminiscing.

Things can lead to other things...

A lot of memories.
Hmm.

Not all of them bad, eh?

Guess not.

And you're telling me this because...

Oh, like I said, mate.
I'm just having a good day.

Ah!
(PEOPLE GASP AND OOH)

George, you, my friend, are
exactly what our middle order needs.

SEAN: Can I wear a helmet
when I bowl?

OK, come in. Team talk, please.

OK, listen up.

Let's get back to basics.

WOMAN: Yeah.
OK? Keep your eye on the ball

and remember that
cricket's a gentlemen's game.

Sexist.
I think what Monty's trying to say

is defeat them.

Defeat them and show no mercy.
Thanks, Dad.

So, go home, good dinner,
good sleep.

And remember the rule
about abstaining.

That's an easy one for you, bro.

So, ah, see you tomorrow.

(GROWLS) Yeah!
(APPLAUSE)

MAN: Thanks, Monty.

Hey, you can play a bit.

Oh, not for a long time.

Well, still better
than the rest of us.

Ready, Fi? Your chariot awaits.

Actually,
I've already got a chariot.

Can I get a lift with you?

Yeah, of course.

Thanks.

Robbie thinks all he has to do
is dial up the old charm

and I'll fall back into his arms.

And will you?

No.

Never.

Well, it's none of my business,
but that's not what he told me.

He told you... what?

Well, he said that when you were
up at the house, you and he...

He kissed me.
You kissed.

No, no, no, no, no.

He kissed me. And I bet he didn't
tell you what happened after that.

Are you kidding me?

Dramatic.

Yeah, well, I don't like drama.

I'm too old for it.

Where I am now, it's gotta be fun
or nothing at all.

Hey, check this out.

(HORN BLARES)
Oi! Get a room!

(GEORGE AND FIONA LAUGH)

That's m' boy.

Their faces, though. Bless 'em.

Thanks for the ride.

JAN: Do the people of Weld
know about your problem?

I don't have a problem!

On behalf of the magazine's
social team, I beg to differ.

I hear you had a chat to Arlo.

I'm sorry, he...

(INHALES) ..cornered me.

No, I think it's nice that he's got
a wise auntie he can go to.

Oh, maybe not that wise.

I'll get you to talk to Shay.

Why? What's up?

Well, apparently, she's in danger
of getting stuck in Weld forever.

Pushing a pram.

Oh!
Katie and Zac say

there's something in the water here.

Anyway, I should go.

(SIGHS) Team captain Monty instructed
us all to get a good night's sleep.

OK. And, George -

remember, it's only a game.

I know!

(SCOFFS) I know.

Emma's a lucky girl.

Are you making fun of me?
No.

To have someone who cares
this much about her

when most guys your age are primates.

So, who's gonna come
and cheer their father on?

BOTH: No.

I'll be there
cheering my boyfriend on,

and hoping
my father doesn't embarrass me.

Why would you think that I would...
Parents versus teachers

at my primary school family fun day.

Oh, yeah.

(DOOR CLOSES)

I...I have...

other plans.

Oh! Yes.

You have a good...

Oh, no, this really isn't an
occasion that requires a pep talk.

I absolutely agree.

(MARCHING BAND MUSIC)

Hannah, what have I said
about appropriate cricket regalia?

Did you abstain last night?

(SONG)
Come in close
to the fire now

Rai.

Mick.

Ready to have your ass handed to you
on a plate

for the ninth year in a row?

Eighth.

And actually, our star player's back.

Hmm. Golden boy's out of the clink.

Not that it will change a thing.

(SONG)
..journey in love...

Come and sit.
Hey!

Hi.
Relax.

I'm not gonna nag you.

Much. (CHUCKLES)

Are you OK, Billy?

You've got all the numbers you need,
darling?

Yeah, I'm all over it, Mum.

Heads.

MAN: Heads it is.

(CHEERING)

We won the toss. That's something.
(CLEARS THROAT)

Maybe it's an omen.

Hmm. That we should quit
while we're ahead.

We're fielding.

Eh?
You win the toss, you bat.

I've told you that a hundred times.

I think I've got
the pitch conditions right this year.

He always gets so excited

before the inevitable
crushing defeat of the game.

Didn't you miss the last few games?

Yeah, but I'm out now, George.

(POIGNANT MUSIC)

Hey.
Hey.

Ah, so I thought
we could go on a picnic first.

Well, is everyone at the cricket?

Yep.

Picnic after.

Are you right, mate?
Yeah, yeah.

Really?
Hmm.

Come on, guys.
Let's start as we mean to go on.

MAN: Play.

Go, Ike!

(ALL GASP)

(APPLAUSE)

We're up and running.

Bugger.

Are you OK?
Yeah!

'Cause I'm so OK.

(LAUGHS)

Except...

it's our last day together.

Tomorrow is still hours away.

And we can spend every minute
of every one of those hours together.

Oh, I kind of have to say goodbye
to Fiona and everyone.

OK.

But there is something else
we could do first.

Except, this time, not on the couch.

(CHEERING)

(SONG)
I see ya talking

(CHEERING)

MAN: Go, go, go.

(APPLAUSE)

Are they always this useless?
Yes.

You're up, George.

Are you sure
there isn't someone else?

No. There isn't.

(GROANS) Oh, dear.

He can't be worse
than everyone else.

No, Dad can actually play a bit.

Then what's the problem?

I thought you were supportive
of the men in your life.

I get it, Katie. You and Zac have
made it pretty clear I'm the devil.

I wasn't referring to that.

He's taking a gap year, that's all.

He's stalling because he's scared.

Because moving away from the only
place he ever lived is frightening.

You should know that
more than anyone.

If staying in Weld is so wrong,

why are you still here?

Because you get stuck.
It's what happens.

If you care about Ike,
don't let it happen to him.

Come on, George!

(WOMEN CHEER AND CLAP)

Before Easter would be good, bro.

(APPLAUSE)

It's a good start there, George.

Come on, Princess.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, don't. Don't, don't, don't.
Just let it go.

(GROANS)

Ooh!

You're not (BLEEP) smiling,
are you now, mate?

You try that (BLEEP) again

and I'll ram that (BLEEP) ball
right up your (BLEEP).

(GROANS)

MAN: Yoo-hoo!

Oh, I'm sorry. Are you alright?

Are you OK there?

Sorry. Sorry, everyone.

OK. That was unlike George.

Not really. Cricket is the thing
that brings out his Jekyll.

Or his Hyde.

I can never remember which one...
Hyde.

(CLEARS THROAT) You might want to
tone down the language

a bit there, mate.
Got it. Thanks, Tom.

Basically, Dad is banned from cricket
in Australia.

But that was awesome.

Sorry about that.
Are you kidding?

That was priceless.

(CHEERING)

Yeah, you can turn the bat over.

You might find the instructions
on the other side.

I mean, what I meant to say was
nice batting, mate.

(PHONE RINGS)
Hello?

Yes! Yes, hello, sorry.
Yes, this is she.

(CHEERING)

(CHEERING)
(GROWLS)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

What did I miss?

Three? We never get three wickets.

Hey, babe.
We're doing pretty good, eh?

Apart from all the runs.

I'm it.
You're what?

I'm the new principal of Weld
District High School. I got the job.

No!
(CHEERING)

I got the job, Woody!

You beauty!

MAN: Go. Woody!

Woody!
I'm so proud of you.

WELD TEAM CHORUS:
Woody! Woody! Woody! Woody! Woody!

Oh, it's OK, you fellas. We're good.

Oi! I think you'll find it's 167,
young Billy.

Really? Sorry. My bad.

The team doesn't need your pity,
mate.

MONTY: Looking good. 20 less
than what we had to chase last year.

When we lost by 100.

New year, new attitude, Sean.

Some backbone shown out there,
I thought, particularly by George.

Can I just apologise here and now
for a lot of that?

(LAUGHTER)

At least some of us have our demons
under control.

Hey, what's done is done.

What's important is a solid,
sensible start to the innings.

Hey, Sean?
I hear you, skipper.

Right. Let's go.

Now?
Yes, come on.

(APPLAUSE)
WOMAN: Go team!

MAN: Get in there!
WOMAN: Yeah!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Come on!

(STAFFORD TEAM CHEER)

Probably not the best idea
to charge the bowler first ball.

Loser!

Thank you, dearest.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Yes!

Top shot, Dad!

(APPLAUSE)

Wonder how it went?

Look at them, George.

How do you think it went?

(CHEERING)

Your mob's showing a bit more ticker
than last year.

I'm quietly confident.

You care to up the bet?

This one's for you, baby!

Ooh, dear.

Sorry, babe.

Oh, it's OK. I still love you.

Good.

(CHEERING)

Go, Monty!

What's he on now?
49.

(CHEERING)

Yes!
Come on, man.

ALL CHANT: Monty! Monty!

Monty! Monty!
Ooh! You're on fire, bro.

We can do this, you and me.

Let's take it home!
For sure.

CHANT: Monty! Monty!

Monty! Monty! Monty!

(SONG)
Later on...

Monty! Monty! Monty!

(IN ECHO) Yes!

He bloody did that on purpose.

Brother stuff.

One of them never quite grew up.

Yeah, Monty! (CLAPS)
Good on you, mate!

Good on ya, mate. Well done.
Well done.

You're in, George.

Go, George!
Go, George. Yeah!

Hand on heart, mate.
I didn't hear him call.

(STAFFORD TEAM CHEER)

It hit my bat, mate! Are you deaf?

Hand on heart,
I did not hear it hit your bat.

Overs left?
Four.

Run rate required?
Five.

Oh, no, wait.
My maths isn't the best.

Six and a bit.

A run a ball.
Thanks, Billy. Got that.

And a bit.
They only need three more wickets.

Yeah, thank you!

MAN: Bowled him!

(APPLAUSE)

Hey, George!

OK, you know what we need to do.

Yeah, no sweat.

Hey, Tracey's really amped
because she got the school job!

Yeah. Yeah, nice.

Oh, don't Emma and Arlo
make a cute couple.

Look, maybe we ought to stick to
the task at hand.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, ah, you should know...

the bowler really hates me

because I never called him back
after last year.

Yeah, that's good to know.

Yeah. OK.

(TENSE MUSIC)

(STAFFORD TEAM CHEER AND CHAT)

(APPLAUSE)

MAN: You're up!

Oh, god.

It's me!

(GROANS) Oh, lord. Give me strength.

It's me! Excuse me.

Good luck, Fi.

Can I give you that... Thank you.

We are so doomed.

Still, you've got to take your
entertainment where and when you can

in this town.

Right, Ike?

Yeah, I'm not complaining.
(SCOFFS)

GEORGE: OK. We just push it round.

Look for ones and twos, alright?

Bugger that. Where's Aussie George
when we need him?

Aussie George?
Yes. Very angry guy.

I liked him. He was fun.

Fun?
Yes!

So let's get Aussie George back

and get the (BLEEP) on
with wining this (BLEEP) thing.

(CHUCKLES)

Come on, Georgie.

Oh you...

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERING)

Georgie! Whoo!

(CHEERING)

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!

MAN: Nice job. Good stuff.
(APPLAUSE)

Five runs, Dad. Five.

Three balls to go.

But look who we've got facing.

Just hit it for one
and I'll try and get the rest.

Alright?
I can do that.

Just remember, at the end of the day,
it is just a game.

OK.

MAN: Come on, Fiona!
ALL: Come on, Fi!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(ALL GROAN)

MAN: That's alright.
WOMAN: You're alright.

Two balls. Where there's life,
there's hope, hey, Dad?

Just watch the ball the whole way.

Alright?
OK.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

Yes!

Go! Go, Fiona!

I'll do it again.
No!

(ALL SHOUT)

MAN: Howzat!
MAN: Not out.

Oh, no. I...

I got carried away.

Sorry.
It's OK.

You've got this, Fiona.
Just three runs.

It's not a problem.

Just hit it...

as hard as you can.

I believe in you, Fiona.

(SOFTLY) Bloody hell.

Last ball.
I know.

(SONG)
You know I told you
that I wasn't scared, well, I lied

GEORGE WRITING: It doesn't matter
if you win or lose.

It's whether you have fun
playing the game that counts.

What a crock.

Winning is so much more fun.

(WOMEN GASP AND SCREECH)

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

(WHOOPS)

(LAUGHS)

We won!

We won. I won! How great!

(WHOOPS)

You beauty!

(ALL WHOOP)

Well, wonders will never cease.

Eat my shorts. (LAUGHS)

(CHEERING)

(CHEERING)

I'm the principal!

Yes, you are, my dear.

Cheers.
Whoo-hoo.

It's quite a responsible job,
isn't it?

You'll be just fine.
Yeah.

What if I'm not?
Well, then I will be there

to catch you as you go out
in a blaze of glory.

ALL: Oh!
(LAUGHS)

What's up?

Go to university this year.

Nup. Not leaving my girl.

What if...

I wasn't your girl?

I can't be responsible
for keeping you in a town

where the most exciting thing
to happen all year

is a game of social cricket.

Hey, there was
a lot riding on that game. We...

See?

You're already becoming one of them.

You need to dream bigger.

I'm sorry, but...

it's over.
I'm breaking up with you.

Look...

I do dream big.

And you're not leaving me.

Because I love you.

(WHISPERS) Oh, crap.

At a primary school parents versus
teachers cricket match?

(LAUGHS) Yeah, I was restrained today
in comparison.

(BOTH LAUGH)

And you were brilliant.

So I'm gonna buy you another beer.
Well, thank you.

Another two, thanks.

Hey.

Did you see that?

Big Mac and Rai?

Am I missing something again?

Big Mac and Rai have a bet
on the cricket every year.

Loser pays for the hotel.

Oh. (LAUGHS)

Yep. Even Big Mac deserves a bit
of harmless fun every now and then.

Nice work today.

Thanks.

I was really proud of you.

Until I remembered you weren't
mine to be proud of anymore.

I miss you, Fi.

Hmm. Sorry about that LBW decision.
It was kind of dodgy.

Oh, it was totally dodgy.

But I did deserve it.

Amazing.

Robbie McNamara admitting fault.

What can I say? I've changed.

Night.

(GENTLE MUSIC)

GEORGE WRITING:
Maybe life is just a game.

But if it is,
it has some messed-up rules.

You do the right thing,
you don't cheat or lie...

And still you don't get
your happy ending.

(SONG)
It seems like such a shadow
of what used to burn so bright...

I have to go.

Hey, Arlo!

Still a spare bed
going at your place?

We won!

And you got through without any...

Well, I apologised afterwards.

Oh, George! It's meant to be fun.

And it was. Fun, that is.

Thanks, partner.

Any time, partner.

To be honest, I had my eyes shut.

You what?
Yeah, when I hit the six.

I just shut my eyes... (LAUGHS)
..and hoped for the best.

Here's me thinking you're
a skilled, experienced batsman.

(GIGGLES) No!

Wow.

Yeah.

I think yesterday was one of the best
days I've had since I've got here.

(SCOFFS) Must've been
a bloody good game of cricket.

Just letting go the stress,
not thinking about anything,

just having fun!

I'm glad.

You sound, ah... really good.

I am.

Life is good.

Great. Talk again soon, huh?

Yeah.

GEORGE WRITING: Of course,
then there is the school of thought

that says there are no endings...

happy or otherwise.

That what we perceive as an end

is, in fact,
just the cue for other stories...

ready and waiting to be told.

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