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Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
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Hey, how was your summer?
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Hi, gary, how was your summer?
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Hey, how was your summer?
5
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Hey, jack,
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there's my buddy!
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Walk with me, lemon.
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Well, you look great.
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I can't believe I haven't spoken
to you since your heart attack.
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That's what I wanted to talk to you about.
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Nobody from corporate knows about my cardiac event,
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and I want to leave it that way.
13
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I'm back, lemon.
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I've had the most productive summer of my life.
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Me too.
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All of my summer replacement shows were big hits.
17
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America's next topirate,
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are you stronger than a dog,
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milf island.
20
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Milf island?
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25 super-hot moms,
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50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
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Oh, yeah.
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Didn't one of those women
turn out to be a prostitute?
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That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring milf.
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Well, uh, I had a great summer too.
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And, um--
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did you...redecorate or--
29
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sir, I have all the latest seinfeldvision promos.
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Oh, wonderful!
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What's seinfeldvision?
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Well, I realized that nbc owns hundreds of hours of footage of seinfeld
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from his massively successful television series seinfeld.
34
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So my old tech guys were able to digitally capture seinfeld,
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and now we can basically make him do or say whatever we want.
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So for the month of october,
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all of our prime time shows will feature
a computerized guest appearance from...
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mr. Jerry...
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seinfeld.
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If you didn't kill her,
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why didn't you stay?
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Quit grillin' me!
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Seinfeldvision
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save the cheerleader.
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Save the world.
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*********
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Yah! That's what I said.
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Seinfeldvision
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deal...or no deal?
50
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I'll take that deal!
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Does jerry seinfeld know you're doing this?
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Jerry's in europe with his family right now.
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But by the time he gets back,
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seinfeldvision will be a monster hit,
55
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and his kids'll go to school,
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and their friends'll say i really loved your dad
in that episode of medium last night,
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and he'S...
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he's gonna love it.
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Well, I had a great summer too.
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I started a quilt.
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I did yoga twice a week.
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I wore flip-flops in public.
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I really feel like this is gonna be my year.
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Biggest loser.
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So what's up with floyd?
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Uh, we broke up.
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We agreed that it was crazy to try it long-distance,
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and I feel great about t it.
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Oh, come on, lemon.
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If there's two things i'm certain of,
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one is you will never finish that quilt,
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I know.
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And you are not over floyd.
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No, I really am, jack.
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I'm telling you,
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this is my year.
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I feel like the show's gonna be great,
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and I'm very positive that i'm gonna meet someone else.
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Lemon, women your age are more likely to
be mauled at the zoo than get married.
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Good to see you.
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Bye.
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Glad we're botdoing so great.
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Put floyd's name on that quilt.
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-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
Proudly Presents
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-=www.ydy.com/bbs=-
Sync: YTET- xjeff0
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30.Rock
Season 02 Episode 01
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Yo, ken, I'm gon use this whole kitchen area as my bathroom.
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Spread the word.
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What is this?
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Mr. Jordan's wife kicked him out.
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She froze my credit and she got custody of grizz.
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Can I keep my cockatiel in your office?
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No. Go home and apologize to your wife.
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What?
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I'm not apologizing!
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'Cause for once in my life,
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I haven't done anything wrong.
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How many years have you known me, liz lemon?
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One.
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So you know I like to minister to transvestite prostitutes.
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I don't think I did know that, no.
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It's true.
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He doesn't mess with 'em.
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He just tries to get 'em into computer school.
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So labor day weekend,
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I see this young she-dude at the dumpster by 40/40.
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I pull over and I say,
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"you don't have to live your life like this.
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"You can be a freaky deeky and do datentry.
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-Sure
-"what about court reporting?
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Believe in yourself."
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Right.
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So as I reach in the trash and pull this dude out,
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a paparazzo jumps out and takes a picture of me.
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Tracy jordan and his wife angie.
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Oops.
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So not only are you holding a transvestite prostitute...
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they confused "shim" with mrs. Jordan, yes, ma'am.
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And they think she looks better here than she did at the 2004 grammys.
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who's gonna do my banking?
121
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Who's gonna write my blogs?
122
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Who's gonna do the cooking on taco wednesdays?
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Okay, well, kenneth,
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you are now in charge of helping tracy with any of
the nonsexual things that angie would do for him.
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So he's, like, my office wife?
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Sure. Let's go with that.
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Kenneth parcell,
128
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will you take this ring...
129
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and sell it in the jewish part of midtown,
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and use the money to get us a nintendo wii?
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Yes. Yes.
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A thousand times yes!
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Liz, how was your summer?
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Good.
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-Floyd and I--
-'cause my play was amazing.
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There is nothing like thehrill of doing a live show on broadway.
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You know, jojo,
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when life keeps handing you anchovies
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just cover them up with some extra cheese
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and make a pizza
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well, I'm sorry i missed it.
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It sounds just like the movie and--
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What happened to you?
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Do I look fat?
145
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Liz, I had to eat four slices of pizza on stage, each performance
146
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jenna, that's 32 pieces of pizza a week!
147
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No, that can't be right.
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Liz, it's like I flipped the eating switch,
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and I can't flip it back.
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you have to help me
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well how am I suppose--
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oh it's worse from behind
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I'm on it
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She need to lose thirty pounds or gain sixty
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anything between it, not place in television
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I can't believe I missed you
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did Jack say he care about my weight?
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no he didn't even mention, he's not noticing
no one is noticing
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Yowza!!Oh!
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hey Mrs Michelin, I love your ty
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Okay everyone welcome back
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some of you maybe wondering what happened between
me and my boyfriend floyd this summer and the answer is we did break up
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But I am doing fine.
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Floyd the black guy
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okay, you don't care.
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i don't care either...
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so great
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I want a pack of 50 ideas from each of you by tomorrow morning
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Hey, I need to ask you guys something
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Avoid from me
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don't stand near me
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will you guys be bridesmaid in my wedding
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That is very sweet
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but I think I might be passed bridesmaid age.
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Oh, I'm sorry
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Is it hard for you because you broke up with that floyd guy
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no what no
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you know what, I would love-
we would love to be your bridesmaid
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Great
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We need to dress shopping tomorrow then
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So meet me at laifess at 10. AM.
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Yeah No I have my something old
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Rise the shine Mr. Jordan
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I couldn't sleep at all last night
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Angie kept my sharp image white noise aroma therapy machine
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She knows I can't sleep without the ***
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well hurry up and get your second win
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cause I've got a day all planned out.
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We'll start at bed bethon beyond
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get things you'll need here,
191
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then, an old friend of mine from college is having a baby shower at long island
192
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So we'll swing by there.
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And for dinner,
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I thought we could just stay in
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and have the rest of that soup
that I made yesterday.
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I'm not doing any of that!
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Okay. Fine.
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I went with you to your black vampire movie.
199
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But I guess I'll just tell my friends that you have a migraine.
200
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Great compromise, office wife.
201
00:07:49,107 --> 00:07:51,403
Hey, you know where I can find that jack donaghy?
202
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I got a bone to pick with that guy.
203
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I don't know which bone i'm gonna pick,
204
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but he's got some bones,
205
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and I'm gonna pick one.
206
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Really?
207
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Weddings are so weird.
208
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This veil costs more than my couch.
209
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Is that comedy, or do you really have a $300 couch?
210
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Both.
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What,
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you never pretended to be a bride when you were a little girl?
213
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I did. I just never romanticized it.
214
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This is my husnd, saul rosenbear,
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and this is his son richard from a previous marriage.
216
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And then he cheated on me with a lamb.
217
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liz, this dress is amazing.
218
00:08:39,706 --> 00:08:40,791
But they don't have it in my size.
219
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Can you try it on for me so I can see how it hangs?
220
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Yes. You're closer, liz.
221
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You do it.
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I mean, I could do it, but...
223
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fun...this is fun.
224
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Sir, jerry seinfeld is here to see you.
225
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You told me he was in europe!
226
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Does he look upset?
227
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He looks the way you did when I tried to hold your hand on the jet.
228
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,291
Stall him for a few minutes, jonathan,
229
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till I get my ducks in a row.
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And get me legal on the phone.
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Oh, my god.
232
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If I cover my good eye,
233
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you look just like courtney cox.
234
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This one is really nice, cerie.
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And it's 40% off.
236
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Oh, no.
237
00:09:19,405 --> 00:09:22,391
Aris would kill me if I ever bought a dress on sale.
238
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I can'T.
239
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It really is nice, isn't it?
240
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You should buy it and save it for your wedding.
241
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:35,000
No, no. I'm single.
242
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Doin' great.
243
00:09:35,707 --> 00:09:38,601
But don't you think you will ever get married to anyone?
244
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You are trying to make a sale.
245
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I know how this works.
246
00:09:43,305 --> 00:09:44,402
Oh, thank you.
247
00:09:46,305 --> 00:09:47,903
Hi. Jack?
248
00:09:48,206 --> 00:09:50,001
No, of course i'm at the office. Yeah.
249
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Stall who?
250
00:09:52,007 --> 00:09:53,703
This is our control room.
251
00:09:54,306 --> 00:09:55,792
There'S...nobody in there.
252
00:09:55,805 --> 00:09:56,992
Sorry there's nothing to see.
253
00:09:57,008 --> 00:09:59,090
We just got back from summer hiatus yesterday.
254
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Yeah. Everybody's summer good?
255
00:10:00,907 --> 00:10:01,792
Oh, mine was great.
256
00:10:01,805 --> 00:10:03,390
I read, like, two books.
257
00:10:03,405 --> 00:10:04,390
I broke up with my boyfriend.
258
00:10:04,408 --> 00:10:05,190
But I'm doing great.
259
00:10:05,207 --> 00:10:06,290
I'm totally over it.
260
00:10:06,307 --> 00:10:07,402
Still talking?
261
00:10:07,606 --> 00:10:08,292
oh, no, no, no, no.
262
00:10:08,306 --> 00:10:10,301
I haven't talked to him since--whew!
263
00:10:11,508 --> 00:10:12,893
August...9th?
264
00:10:12,906 --> 00:10:14,603
4:17 P.M.?
265
00:10:14,807 --> 00:10:15,801
It's not over.
266
00:10:15,905 --> 00:10:16,492
Oh, no, it's over.
267
00:10:16,505 --> 00:10:17,292
I'm over it.
268
00:10:17,305 --> 00:10:19,892
No, it's not over till you pick up the phone,
269
00:10:19,908 --> 00:10:21,592
you say, "I don't love you anymore, "
270
00:10:21,606 --> 00:10:23,493
they say, "I don't love you anymore either."
271
00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:25,690
You go, "great, I'll pick you up in 20.
272
00:10:25,705 --> 00:10:26,890
Let's grab a scone."
273
00:10:26,908 --> 00:10:27,993
A scone--yes!
274
00:10:28,008 --> 00:10:28,793
I want that!
275
00:10:28,807 --> 00:10:29,692
I'm gonna call him. (Tracy)
276
00:10:29,707 --> 00:10:31,201
liz lemon.
277
00:10:31,407 --> 00:10:32,690
I need you to go to my house
278
00:10:32,708 --> 00:10:35,691
and pretend you're doing a survey for the ranford group.
279
00:10:35,706 --> 00:10:38,390
And then ask my wife if she's sleeping with D.L. Hughley!
280
00:10:38,407 --> 00:10:40,091
No. I'm not doing any of that.
281
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,191
J.S.!
282
00:10:41,206 --> 00:10:42,193
Oh, tracy.
283
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:43,191
What's up?
284
00:10:43,207 --> 00:10:46,493
Liz lemon, me and this dude used to do standup together.
285
00:10:46,506 --> 00:10:49,602
Remember that night we had a three-way with elayne boosler?
286
00:10:50,305 --> 00:10:51,600
I don't think that was me.
287
00:10:52,105 --> 00:10:52,692
Oh, yeah.
288
00:10:52,705 --> 00:10:53,491
You know what?
289
00:10:53,505 --> 00:10:55,103
I think that was a mirror.
290
00:10:57,307 --> 00:10:58,993
J.S., This is my kenneth.
291
00:10:59,008 --> 00:10:59,790
Ah, yeah.
292
00:10:59,806 --> 00:11:00,491
You again.
293
00:11:00,507 --> 00:11:01,403
Hello.
294
00:11:01,905 --> 00:11:03,493
Jonathan, when is he gonna meet with jerry?
295
00:11:03,505 --> 00:11:04,891
This is taking forever.
296
00:11:04,907 --> 00:11:05,793
mr. Donaghy left.
297
00:11:05,807 --> 00:11:07,093
What? When?
298
00:11:07,108 --> 00:11:08,501
Just a few minutes ago.
299
00:11:12,708 --> 00:11:13,702
Jack?
300
00:11:16,206 --> 00:11:17,403
Jack?
301
00:11:18,106 --> 00:11:19,403
Jack.
302
00:11:20,307 --> 00:11:20,893
Jerry?
303
00:11:20,908 --> 00:11:22,001
Is that you?
304
00:11:22,508 --> 00:11:23,890
Nobody told me you were here.
305
00:11:23,908 --> 00:11:25,302
Oh, I'm here, jack.
306
00:11:25,606 --> 00:11:28,003
Kenneth, why didn't you tell me mr. Seinfeld is here?
307
00:11:29,907 --> 00:11:31,003
What's wrong with him?
308
00:11:41,307 --> 00:11:42,301
hello?
309
00:11:43,105 --> 00:11:43,791
Hello, I'm sorry.
310
00:11:43,805 --> 00:11:45,701
May I speak to floyd, please?
311
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,102
Oh, he's in the...shower.
312
00:11:48,706 --> 00:11:51,801
I am conducting a survey for the ranford group.
313
00:11:51,805 --> 00:11:54,502
And, uh...how old are you?
314
00:11:54,906 --> 00:11:56,002
And your weight?
315
00:11:56,607 --> 00:11:59,300
And when was the last time you had intercourse?
316
00:12:00,005 --> 00:12:01,100
Who is this?
317
00:12:01,108 --> 00:12:02,200
Who are you?
318
00:12:02,306 --> 00:12:04,803
I'm your worst nightmare, is who I is!
319
00:12:07,106 --> 00:12:09,800
He's got some girl over there already!
320
00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,302
That is so embarrassing for you.
321
00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:15,992
So how can I help you, jerry?
322
00:12:16,005 --> 00:12:20,801
Jack, I was vacationing with my family in europe
in a country only rich people know about.
323
00:12:21,005 --> 00:12:21,793
Svenborgia?
324
00:12:21,806 --> 00:12:23,692
No. Better.
325
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,102
But I can't tell you.
326
00:12:25,207 --> 00:12:25,792
Anyway,
327
00:12:25,808 --> 00:12:28,992
my mother called to tell me that I'm gonna be on law and order!
328
00:12:29,008 --> 00:12:30,090
And E.R.
329
00:12:30,107 --> 00:12:34,103
So I called my agent to find out when did I shoot these things?
330
00:12:34,206 --> 00:12:35,193
That's the beauty of this, jerry.
331
00:12:35,205 --> 00:12:36,392
It's all done with computers.
332
00:12:36,406 --> 00:12:36,993
When you see it,
333
00:12:37,005 --> 00:12:38,100
you're gonna love it.
334
00:12:38,206 --> 00:12:39,591
25 sexy moms.
335
00:12:39,606 --> 00:12:41,290
50 sweaty eighth-grade boys.
336
00:12:41,305 --> 00:12:43,392
And one beloved american comedy star.
337
00:12:43,407 --> 00:12:45,991
this wednesday on milf island...
338
00:12:46,006 --> 00:12:48,293
really? Is that really your pitch?
339
00:12:48,306 --> 00:12:50,291
Okay. I get it.
340
00:12:50,305 --> 00:12:51,903
This is a two-way street.
341
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:52,893
All right, jerry,
342
00:12:52,907 --> 00:12:56,593
what nbc shows do you want to be digitally inserted into?
343
00:12:56,606 --> 00:12:57,593
I like lost.
344
00:12:57,608 --> 00:12:58,903
Is that you guys?
345
00:13:00,808 --> 00:13:01,702
Jerry,
346
00:13:02,008 --> 00:13:02,990
don't be difficult.
347
00:13:03,005 --> 00:13:05,691
The fact of the matter is that seinfeldvision is perfectly legal,
348
00:13:05,707 --> 00:13:07,092
and there's nothing you can do to stop us.
349
00:13:07,107 --> 00:13:09,200
I'm sorry, but...
350
00:13:09,708 --> 00:13:10,490
it's business.
351
00:13:10,507 --> 00:13:11,793
Here's some business.
352
00:13:11,805 --> 00:13:17,000
How 'bout I buy nbc and turn it into the biggest lane bryant in midtown?
353
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,092
Jerry, come on.
354
00:13:20,105 --> 00:13:21,790
You're gonna buy nbc,
355
00:13:21,808 --> 00:13:24,603
like you've got $4 million just laying around...
356
00:13:26,508 --> 00:13:27,291
jerry, I'm sorry.
357
00:13:27,305 --> 00:13:28,500
Give me two days...
358
00:13:28,706 --> 00:13:30,291
and I'll come up with something you'll really be proud of.
359
00:13:30,305 --> 00:13:31,901
Besides, you owe me.
360
00:13:32,205 --> 00:13:34,392
Remember, st. Barts, I saved your life from that shark?
361
00:13:34,408 --> 00:13:35,802
All right, jack.
362
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:37,401
I'll come back.
363
00:13:38,508 --> 00:13:40,801
But I still think you shot a dolphin.
364
00:13:45,905 --> 00:13:48,893
hi. I'm here to drop off the inspiration photos.
365
00:13:48,908 --> 00:13:50,193
And you are the mother.
366
00:13:50,205 --> 00:13:51,901
Bridesmaid, yes.
367
00:13:53,808 --> 00:13:54,902
That's my dress.
368
00:13:55,505 --> 00:13:56,492
Don't buy that.
369
00:13:56,505 --> 00:13:58,203
That looks ugly on you.
370
00:13:58,606 --> 00:14:00,300
Yeah, you'll thank me.
371
00:14:00,905 --> 00:14:02,192
Is that dress still on sale?
372
00:14:02,205 --> 00:14:03,101
Yes.
373
00:14:03,708 --> 00:14:07,393
You know, a lot of women buy their perfect dress when they see it,
374
00:14:07,407 --> 00:14:10,090
and then just trust the fact that the husband will come.
375
00:14:10,105 --> 00:14:11,100
Yeah.
376
00:14:11,405 --> 00:14:12,690
Well, this is my year.
377
00:14:12,707 --> 00:14:14,193
I mean, floyd's moving on.
378
00:14:14,205 --> 00:14:15,091
I'm moving on too.
379
00:14:15,108 --> 00:14:17,092
I'm just doing it in my own order.
380
00:14:17,105 --> 00:14:18,491
I'm gonna get the wedding dress,
381
00:14:18,506 --> 00:14:19,791
and then I'm gonna have a baby,
382
00:14:19,806 --> 00:14:21,693
and then I'm gonna die,
383
00:14:21,707 --> 00:14:23,902
and then I'm gonna meet a super-cute guy in heaven.
384
00:14:24,508 --> 00:14:25,401
Yeah.
385
00:14:26,308 --> 00:14:27,691
I'm not kidding, blondie.
386
00:14:27,705 --> 00:14:29,202
Get out of the dress.
387
00:14:31,407 --> 00:14:34,301
I'll need to spread it over a couple of different credit cards.
388
00:14:36,908 --> 00:14:38,292
Lemon, I am in full-blown crisis mode.
389
00:14:38,307 --> 00:14:41,093
I've already sold 20 million dollars' worth of ad time for seinfeldvision,
390
00:14:41,108 --> 00:14:42,293
and now jerry wants to pull the plug.
391
00:14:42,305 --> 00:14:44,192
But I don't care, because i thrive in crisis mode.
392
00:14:44,205 --> 00:14:45,593
That's when I'm really at my best.
393
00:14:45,605 --> 00:14:49,192
And the fact that I do not have one idea how
to solve this only energizes me more.
394
00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:50,690
I've been brainstorming all night--here we go.
395
00:14:50,705 --> 00:14:52,291
Number one--kill seinfeld.
396
00:14:52,305 --> 00:14:53,791
Number two--kill seinfeld, then kill myself.
397
00:14:53,808 --> 00:14:56,791
Number three--kill seinfeld, flee to svenborgia, then kill myself.
398
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,391
Jack, I'm not having the best day either.
399
00:14:58,406 --> 00:14:59,493
Number 70--
400
00:14:59,508 --> 00:15:00,192
you seduce seinfeld.
401
00:15:00,205 --> 00:15:02,490
Now, why is me seducing seinfeld all the way at 70?
402
00:15:02,506 --> 00:15:04,093
Number 71--I fake a hurricane,
403
00:15:04,107 --> 00:15:06,193
and all regularly scheduled programming is preempted.
404
00:15:06,205 --> 00:15:07,690
These are terrible ideas.
405
00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,803
There are no bad ideas in brainstorming, lemon.
406
00:15:10,208 --> 00:15:11,892
I'm sure I'll come up with something at the 11th hour.
407
00:15:11,908 --> 00:15:13,292
I always do,
408
00:15:13,307 --> 00:15:14,802
'cause I'm just that good.
409
00:15:25,106 --> 00:15:26,301
It was on sale.
410
00:15:29,908 --> 00:15:31,291
I'm mad at you, ken.
411
00:15:31,308 --> 00:15:33,291
I seen the way you was lookin' eld.
412
00:15:33,306 --> 00:15:35,201
You used to look at me like that.
413
00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:38,393
What, am I not a big enough star for you any
414
00:15:38,408 --> 00:15:41,401
i am not even gonna dignify that wwer.
415
00:15:42,405 --> 00:15:45,593
Especial I picked out all these throw pillows for in here,
416
00:15:45,606 --> 00:15:47,200
and you didn't even notice!
417
00:15:50,306 --> 00:15:51,091
Hey, everyone.
418
00:15:51,105 --> 00:15:52,293
I know what you're thinking.
419
00:15:52,306 --> 00:15:54,891
How did I lose 25 pounds in one day?
420
00:15:54,907 --> 00:15:55,690
I didn'T.
421
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:56,892
It's visual trickery.
422
00:15:56,907 --> 00:15:58,900
Drawing the eye up.
423
00:16:00,805 --> 00:16:02,992
hey, liz, you gotta see this.
424
00:16:03,006 --> 00:16:04,503
Jenna looks bananas--
425
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:09,390
Nope, the real crazy is in here.
426
00:16:09,406 --> 00:16:10,691
Liz lost it.
427
00:16:10,706 --> 00:16:11,692
It was on sale.
428
00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:12,891
I thought you and floyd broke up.
429
00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:15,590
We did, and I am doing great with it.
430
00:16:15,606 --> 00:16:17,292
I just bought a dress.
431
00:16:17,306 --> 00:16:21,093
Because, you know, I don't need society's permission to buy a white dress
432
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:23,090
i mean, who says this is a wedding dress anyway?
433
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,793
In korea, they wear ite to funerals.
434
00:16:24,807 --> 00:16:25,590
All right, uh,
435
00:16:25,607 --> 00:16:26,690
I'm in charge now.
436
00:16:26,705 --> 00:16:28,300
Everyone go home.
437
00:16:28,506 --> 00:16:29,591
I'm not crazy, frank.
438
00:16:29,606 --> 00:16:31,190
I'm making a statement.
439
00:16:31,205 --> 00:16:31,991
That, if need be,
440
00:16:32,007 --> 00:16:33,490
I will marry myself.
441
00:16:33,506 --> 00:16:37,192
And I am not embarrassed that you guys are seeing me wearing this.
442
00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:40,891
So you're intending to wear that...all day.
443
00:16:40,905 --> 00:16:43,293
Yeah, chocolate rain, maybe I am.
444
00:16:43,305 --> 00:16:45,290
liz, um, seinfeld's here,
445
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:46,492
and jack's not ready for him.
446
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,702
So you need to give him another tour.
447
00:16:51,006 --> 00:16:52,103
Wonderful.
448
00:16:58,605 --> 00:16:59,901
Hello, jerry.
449
00:17:00,306 --> 00:17:01,490
Well, well, well.
450
00:17:01,506 --> 00:17:03,190
So you called that boyfriend.
451
00:17:03,206 --> 00:17:04,390
Yes, I did.
452
00:17:04,405 --> 00:17:05,391
And it went well?
453
00:17:05,408 --> 00:17:07,200
No, it didn't, jer.
454
00:17:07,206 --> 00:17:08,390
A woman answered.
455
00:17:08,405 --> 00:17:10,092
Another woman already?
456
00:17:10,107 --> 00:17:11,193
What did you say to her?
457
00:17:11,205 --> 00:17:12,193
I did a fake survey.
458
00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:13,490
You did the fake survey?
459
00:17:13,506 --> 00:17:14,290
I know.
460
00:17:14,305 --> 00:17:15,390
I'm not over it!
461
00:17:15,408 --> 00:17:16,891
And now I'm wearing this!
462
00:17:16,908 --> 00:17:19,593
What is the deal with my life?
463
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:20,893
Are you imitating me?
464
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:24,092
No! This is what i sound like when I cry!
465
00:17:24,107 --> 00:17:25,790
I think I'm a little insulted!
466
00:17:25,805 --> 00:17:26,692
You're insulteying!
467
00:17:26,705 --> 00:17:28,102
*********
468
00:17:44,305 --> 00:17:45,092
I got nothin'.
469
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,391
Mr. Seinfeld's here.
470
00:17:46,405 --> 00:17:47,601
I got nothing.
471
00:17:48,607 --> 00:17:49,592
Oh, jerry, wonderful.
472
00:17:49,605 --> 00:17:51,703
Please, come in, come in.
473
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,292
Can I get you some water?
474
00:17:53,306 --> 00:17:54,493
No, thank you.
475
00:17:54,506 --> 00:17:55,491
Would you like some tea,
476
00:17:55,505 --> 00:17:56,593
some coffee, some ice coffee,
477
00:17:56,605 --> 00:17:57,292
we have ice tea,
478
00:17:57,305 --> 00:17:57,891
we have some juice--
479
00:17:57,906 --> 00:17:59,493
all right, I'll just--
480
00:17:59,505 --> 00:18:01,390
gimme a water if that moves it along.
481
00:18:01,406 --> 00:18:02,290
Okay.
482
00:18:02,306 --> 00:18:03,590
Boy, have I got a presentation for you.
483
00:18:03,607 --> 00:18:06,001
This presentation is going to, uh,
484
00:18:06,206 --> 00:18:07,191
knock your socks off.
485
00:18:07,205 --> 00:18:10,790
Here, let me close ts window so we don't have any glare on the monitor.
486
00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:11,491
Ho weekend?
487
00:18:11,505 --> 00:18:12,492
It's thursday.
488
00:18:12,506 --> 00:18:14,091
Well, I mean last weekend.
489
00:18:14,107 --> 00:18:15,093
It was very nice.
490
00:18:15,105 --> 00:18:17,191
Can we just move this presentation along, please?
491
00:18:17,205 --> 00:18:18,700
It's seinfeldvision.
492
00:18:18,908 --> 00:18:20,403
I'm giving america...
493
00:18:21,407 --> 00:18:22,903
the programs they like...
494
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:25,002
with a star that they love.
495
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:28,202
For one...incredible month...
496
00:18:28,405 --> 00:18:29,490
of television.
497
00:18:29,505 --> 00:18:30,793
What the hell are you doing?
498
00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:33,902
God--oh, god, jerry!
499
00:18:34,406 --> 00:18:35,502
I got nothing!
500
00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:36,590
I got nothing!
501
00:18:36,607 --> 00:18:39,093
You've got to do this for me, please!
502
00:18:39,107 --> 00:18:41,591
Oh, god, I've already sold the ad time!
503
00:18:41,605 --> 00:18:43,303
What is wrong with you people?
504
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,402
What's happened to this network?
505
00:18:47,708 --> 00:18:49,500
Call off your goons!
506
00:18:50,308 --> 00:18:51,303
All right, kenneth.
507
00:18:51,406 --> 00:18:52,803
All right, listen, seinfeld.
508
00:18:53,007 --> 00:18:58,400
I'll give you $1 million and five free commercials
for your animated feature bee movie,
509
00:18:58,806 --> 00:19:00,491
and you let me run this for one week.
510
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:02,793
2 million to the charity of my choice,
511
00:19:02,806 --> 00:19:04,592
ten free commercials for bee movie,
512
00:19:04,607 --> 00:19:05,691
opening november 2nd,
513
00:19:05,706 --> 00:19:06,991
and I do nothing.
514
00:19:07,006 --> 00:19:08,492
you let me run seinfeldvision for three nigh
515
00:19:08,505 --> 00:19:11,701
i'll give you $1.5 million
or the charity of your choice,
516
00:19:11,905 --> 00:19:14,401
unlimited free promotions on the today show,
517
00:19:14,705 --> 00:19:17,000
and you give me the name of that country you went to.
518
00:19:17,506 --> 00:19:18,891
One night.
519
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:19,992
Doctors without borders.
520
00:19:20,006 --> 00:19:22,100
Roker in a bee costume.
521
00:19:24,908 --> 00:19:26,500
Grenyarnia.
522
00:19:26,507 --> 00:19:27,602
Oh, god!
523
00:19:37,107 --> 00:19:38,303
Oh, no!
524
00:19:38,606 --> 00:19:40,700
Did a korean person die?
525
00:19:41,406 --> 00:19:42,392
No, tracy.
526
00:19:42,407 --> 00:19:43,602
It's a wedding dress.
527
00:19:44,707 --> 00:19:46,202
Don't do it, liz lemon.
528
00:19:47,506 --> 00:19:51,302
I know what me and kenneth have looks perfect on the outside,
529
00:19:51,707 --> 00:19:53,092
but it's work, damn it.
530
00:19:53,107 --> 00:19:54,501
It's work.
531
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:06,791
How'd it go with seinfeld?
532
00:20:06,807 --> 00:20:08,301
I think I pulled it off.
533
00:20:09,206 --> 00:20:10,193
Good god, lemon,
534
00:20:10,207 --> 00:20:11,700
what's happened to you?
535
00:20:11,808 --> 00:20:13,491
I thought this was going to be your year.
536
00:20:13,508 --> 00:20:15,802
I couldn't even hold it together one week.
537
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,092
I'm not you, jack.
538
00:20:17,107 --> 00:20:19,391
I can't have a heart attack and pretend like it never happened.
539
00:20:19,407 --> 00:20:21,692
I can't break up with someone and immediately recover.
540
00:20:21,706 --> 00:20:22,293
I'm not you.
541
00:20:22,306 --> 00:20:23,501
I'm just me.
542
00:20:23,506 --> 00:20:25,892
Lemon, don't ever say you're just you.
543
00:20:25,907 --> 00:20:28,001
Because you are better than you.
544
00:20:28,308 --> 00:20:30,092
And I am not going to let you give up.
545
00:20:30,106 --> 00:20:32,301
This is going to be our year.
546
00:20:34,606 --> 00:20:35,800
Now, give me the ham.
547
00:20:36,906 --> 00:20:37,992
I like the ham.
548
00:20:38,006 --> 00:20:39,000
Come on.
549
00:20:39,007 --> 00:20:40,001
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Proudly Presents
550
00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:42,001
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Sync: YTET- xjeff0
551
00:20:42,006 --> 00:20:43,000
30.Rock
Season 02 Episode 01
552
00:20:46,507 --> 00:20:48,902
$4, 000 ham napkin.
553
00:20:53,308 --> 00:20:54,803
I look pretty, though, right?
554
00:20:55,308 --> 00:20:56,801
Don't push it, lemon.
555
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,064
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