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1
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:07,169
( screams of panic )
2
00:00:11,506 --> 00:00:13,675
OH, ZIPPY WAS JUST
SUPPOSED TOCLEANTHE TANK !
3
00:00:14,109 --> 00:00:16,278
I GUESS I SHOULDN'T HAVE
GIVEN HIM THE KEYS.
4
00:00:16,278 --> 00:00:18,013
( chattering )
5
00:00:20,182 --> 00:00:21,917
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
DESTROY THE TANK !
6
00:00:22,117 --> 00:00:23,652
NOT IF I CAN HELP IT.
7
00:00:27,990 --> 00:00:30,592
( babies crying )
8
00:00:35,797 --> 00:00:38,400
OH, NO,
MY SEPTUPLETS !
9
00:00:39,701 --> 00:00:41,436
( grunting )
10
00:00:57,052 --> 00:00:57,919
THANKS, STRIPPERELLA,
11
00:00:58,353 --> 00:00:59,655
THAT WAS ONE
HELL OF A BLOW JOB.
12
00:00:59,655 --> 00:01:00,956
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
13
00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:03,125
I'M GONNA GO
SPANK THE MONKEY.
14
00:01:03,125 --> 00:01:04,860
YOU KNOW, EVERYTHING HE SAID
WAS COMPLETELY RELEVANT
15
00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:08,330
YET, SOMEHOW,
IT JUST FELT INAPPROPRIATE.
16
00:01:27,382 --> 00:01:30,419
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪
17
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,756
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪♪
18
00:01:47,336 --> 00:01:51,239
OH, WOW, THESE WAX FIGURES
LOOK SO LIFELIKE.
19
00:01:51,239 --> 00:01:53,842
I WOULD SWEAR THIS
IS REALLY STEVEN SEAGAL.
20
00:01:54,276 --> 00:01:56,878
IT IS ME,
I ACTUALLY WORK HERE.
21
00:01:56,878 --> 00:01:59,481
JUST UNTIL I GET
BACK ON MY FEET.
22
00:01:59,481 --> 00:02:04,686
LADIES, GENTLEMEN
AND CHILDREN OF ALL AGES,
23
00:02:04,686 --> 00:02:08,790
FEAST YOUR EYES ON
THE DAZZLING, ENCHANTING WONDER
24
00:02:08,790 --> 00:02:10,325
THAT IS...
25
00:02:10,325 --> 00:02:11,626
MAGIC !
26
00:02:11,626 --> 00:02:14,663
OH, A FREE MAGIC SHOW !
27
00:02:14,663 --> 00:02:16,832
( puppet voice )
NOW, YOU SEE THIS HANDSOME
28
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:19,434
VIRILE LIKENESS
OF BRAD PITT...
29
00:02:19,868 --> 00:02:21,603
NOW YOU DON'T !
30
00:02:22,037 --> 00:02:24,206
OHHHH... !
31
00:02:26,808 --> 00:02:28,110
FOR OUR NEXT TRICK,
32
00:02:28,543 --> 00:02:31,580
WE NEED YOU ALL TO PLACE YOUR
WALLETS, PURSES AND JEWELRY
33
00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:34,182
IN THE CENTER OF THE ROOM.
34
00:02:34,616 --> 00:02:36,785
( exciting chatter )
35
00:02:40,689 --> 00:02:41,990
( puppet )
NOW YOU STUFF...
36
00:02:41,990 --> 00:02:44,593
NOW YOU DON'T.
37
00:02:46,328 --> 00:02:49,798
YOU'VE BEEN
A MARVELOUS AUDIENCE.
38
00:02:53,702 --> 00:02:57,172
I THINK WE WERE
JUST ROBBED !
39
00:02:57,172 --> 00:03:01,510
AND THOSE BASTARDS
STOLE JUDY GARLAND !
40
00:03:04,546 --> 00:03:07,149
( man )
LET'S HEAR IT FOR, CAT MEOW.
41
00:03:07,582 --> 00:03:09,751
AND NOW, THE GIRL YOU'VE ALL
BEEN WAITING FOR,
42
00:03:09,751 --> 00:03:11,920
SHE'S THE MOST ATTRACTIVE,
43
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,089
SEXIEST DANCER
HERE AT THE TENDERLOINS--
44
00:03:14,523 --> 00:03:16,258
UGH, I WISH HE WOULDN'T
ALWAYS SAY THAT.
45
00:03:16,258 --> 00:03:18,427
THE FIRST LADY OF FLESH...
46
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:21,463
EROTICA !
47
00:03:21,463 --> 00:03:23,198
( rock music )
48
00:03:23,198 --> 00:03:25,801
( wolf whistles )
49
00:04:16,985 --> 00:04:19,154
OH, I LOVE YOU GUYS !
50
00:04:19,154 --> 00:04:21,323
GIDDYUP, COWBOY !
51
00:04:25,227 --> 00:04:27,395
CONGRATULATIONS,
ICE HOLES,
52
00:04:27,829 --> 00:04:30,198
ON WINNING
THE STANLEY CUP !
53
00:04:30,198 --> 00:04:33,468
AND NOW, HANDSOME,
NAKED, RUGGED ATHLETES,
54
00:04:33,902 --> 00:04:36,071
PREPARE YOURSELVES
TO BE AMAZED,
55
00:04:36,071 --> 00:04:38,673
BEWILDERED AND BEDAZZLED !
56
00:04:38,673 --> 00:04:40,408
NOW YOU SEE THE PRICELESS,
57
00:04:40,408 --> 00:04:43,011
ONE-OF-A-KIND
STANLEY CUP TROPHY...
58
00:04:43,011 --> 00:04:45,614
NOW YOU DON'T !
59
00:04:49,951 --> 00:04:52,120
AND NOW,
YOU SEXY JOCKS,
60
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,289
WE BID YOU FAREWELL.
61
00:04:56,458 --> 00:04:59,060
WHOA, THAT SHORT GUY
JUST CALLED US SEXY !
62
00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:01,229
IS THAT GAY, OR WHAT ?
63
00:05:01,229 --> 00:05:06,001
WHAT'S WITHTHAT
WEIRD GUY.
64
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:09,037
HE'S COMIN'
OVER HERE.
65
00:05:09,037 --> 00:05:11,640
I'M WITH THE, UH, NATIONAL
ASSOCIATION OF EROTIC DANCERS.
66
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,808
EROTICA, I'M ELATED
TO INFORM YOU THAT
67
00:05:13,808 --> 00:05:15,544
I'M OFFICIALLY NOMINATING YOU
68
00:05:15,544 --> 00:05:18,146
FOR THIS YEAR'S
"STRIPPER OF THE YEAR" AWARD.
69
00:05:18,146 --> 00:05:20,315
( gasp )
I'M NOMINATED
FOR A "STRIPPIE" ?!
70
00:05:20,315 --> 00:05:22,484
UH-HUH, SEE YA
IN LAS VEGAS.
71
00:05:22,484 --> 00:05:23,785
NO WAY !
72
00:05:23,785 --> 00:05:25,086
THIS IS
SO COOL !
73
00:05:25,086 --> 00:05:27,255
THE TENDERLOINS IS FINALLY
GONNA BE REPRESENTED
74
00:05:27,255 --> 00:05:28,990
AT THE STRIPPIES !
75
00:05:28,990 --> 00:05:32,027
YOU KNOW, I COULD REALLY USE
SOME SUPPORT AT THE AWARDS SHOW.
76
00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:35,931
( all together )
WE'RE GOING TO LAS VEGAS !
77
00:05:41,570 --> 00:05:43,738
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M REALLY HERE.
78
00:05:43,738 --> 00:05:45,473
SOMEBODY PINCH ME.
79
00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:46,775
HEY !
80
00:05:46,775 --> 00:05:50,245
WHEN I SAID "PINCH ME"
I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERALLY.
81
00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:54,583
BOY, AM I ITCHING
TO DO SOME GAMBLING.
82
00:05:54,583 --> 00:05:55,884
I HAVE A WHOLE SYSTEM
WORKED OUT.
83
00:05:55,884 --> 00:05:57,619
I BROUGHT $500.
84
00:05:57,619 --> 00:06:00,221
BY THE TIME WE LEAVE HERE,
I WILL HAVE DOUBLED MY MONEY.
85
00:06:00,221 --> 00:06:01,957
I'M GONNA START
WITH THIS $20.
86
00:06:02,390 --> 00:06:03,692
I LOVE VEGAS.
87
00:06:03,692 --> 00:06:06,962
THE DRINKING, THE GAMBLING,
THE INDISCRIMINATE SEX...
88
00:06:07,162 --> 00:06:09,331
BUT THAT'S THE SAME STUFF
YOU DO AT HOME.
89
00:06:09,331 --> 00:06:11,499
YEAH, BUT ALL THOSE
THINGS ARE MORE FUN
90
00:06:11,499 --> 00:06:13,234
WHEN YOU'RE ON VACATION.
91
00:06:13,234 --> 00:06:15,403
WELL, I LOST IT.
92
00:06:15,403 --> 00:06:16,705
YOU LOST YOUR
WHOLE $20 ALREADY ?
93
00:06:16,705 --> 00:06:18,440
NO, I LOST EVERYTHING.
94
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,175
WHOLE $500,
IT'S GONE.
95
00:06:20,175 --> 00:06:21,910
THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO
LAST ME THE WHOLE WEEK.
96
00:06:22,344 --> 00:06:23,211
I HAD A SYSTEM...
97
00:06:23,211 --> 00:06:25,380
( man )
WELL, WELL,
WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE ?
98
00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:27,983
DID YOU GUYS COME TO
WATCH THE STRIPPIES ?
99
00:06:27,983 --> 00:06:29,718
F-Y-I, DIRK,
100
00:06:29,718 --> 00:06:32,320
THE TENDERLOINS HAPPENS TO BE
IN THE STRIPPIES THIS YEAR.
101
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,489
THAT'S RIGHT,
EROTICA'S NOMINATED
102
00:06:34,489 --> 00:06:35,790
FOR STRIPPER OF THE YEAR.
103
00:06:36,224 --> 00:06:37,092
REALLY ?
104
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:40,562
WELL,SILICONESHAS
THREE GIRLS NOMINATED.
105
00:06:40,562 --> 00:06:41,863
( whistles )
106
00:06:41,863 --> 00:06:45,767
THE ONLY HOPE YOU HAVE,
IS COMING IN FOURTH.
107
00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:47,502
HE'S JUST MEAN
FOR NO REASON.
108
00:06:47,502 --> 00:06:49,237
OH, LOOK !
109
00:06:49,237 --> 00:06:52,273
THE AMAZING
WALTER AND MOE !
110
00:06:52,273 --> 00:06:55,310
THEY'RE THE WORLD'S MOST
AMAZING MUSICIANS !
111
00:06:55,310 --> 00:06:57,912
I LOVE
PRESTIDIGITATION,
112
00:06:57,912 --> 00:07:00,081
WE GOTTA GET TICKETS !
113
00:07:06,887 --> 00:07:09,923
OHH, I LOVE PLAYING
WITH MY JEWELS...
114
00:07:09,923 --> 00:07:11,658
THIS NEXT HEIST
IS GOING TO BE
115
00:07:11,658 --> 00:07:14,261
THE MOST MAGNIFICENT,
FANTASTIC ONE YET.
116
00:07:14,261 --> 00:07:17,297
I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D
STICK TO THE PLAN FOR ONCE.
117
00:07:17,297 --> 00:07:19,466
ARE YOU CALLING ME A
NON-PLAN-STICKER-TO-ER ?
118
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:20,767
HOW DARE YOU ?!
119
00:07:20,767 --> 00:07:22,503
I ALWAYS
STICK TO THE PLAN.
120
00:07:22,503 --> 00:07:23,804
OH, REALLY ?
121
00:07:23,804 --> 00:07:24,671
I MUST HAVE
MISSED THE MEMO
122
00:07:24,671 --> 00:07:26,840
THAT SAID WE WERE STEALING
JUDY GARLAND !
123
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,142
BUT I LOVE JUDY GARLAND.
124
00:07:28,142 --> 00:07:29,877
I KNOW YOU DO.
125
00:07:29,877 --> 00:07:32,045
LOOK, WALLY, IS THERE
SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME.
126
00:07:32,045 --> 00:07:33,780
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?
127
00:07:33,780 --> 00:07:35,516
IT'S THE JUDY GARLAND,
128
00:07:35,516 --> 00:07:37,251
THE LATE NIGHT TRIPS
TO THE BATHHOUSES,
129
00:07:37,251 --> 00:07:39,419
YOUR OBSESSION
WITH SHOW TUNES...
130
00:07:39,853 --> 00:07:42,022
I SAW THE WAY YOU WERE LOOKING
AT THOSE HOCKEY PLAYERS.
131
00:07:42,022 --> 00:07:44,191
SO, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ?
I'M GAY ?
132
00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:45,926
I'M NOT GAY.
133
00:07:45,926 --> 00:07:48,095
EVEN IF I WAS,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING GAY ?
134
00:07:48,095 --> 00:07:49,396
NOTHING !
135
00:07:49,396 --> 00:07:51,565
I DIDN'T SAY THERE WAS
ANYTHING WRONG WITH BEING GAY.
136
00:07:51,565 --> 00:07:53,300
NOW YOU'RE PUTTING
WORDS IN MY MOUTH.
137
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,035
I'LL PUT WHATEVER
I WANT IN YOUR MOUTH !
138
00:07:55,035 --> 00:07:57,204
DON'T YOU FORGET WHO'S
RUNNING THIS SHOW.
139
00:07:57,204 --> 00:07:58,071
BITCH !
140
00:07:58,505 --> 00:07:59,806
UGH !
141
00:08:01,108 --> 00:08:02,409
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT,
142
00:08:02,843 --> 00:08:05,879
PIVOT TURN, STEP, HOLD,
BEND AND SPLIT !
143
00:08:06,313 --> 00:08:08,482
I KNOW YOU'RE
GONNA WIN THAT STRIPPIE.
144
00:08:08,482 --> 00:08:09,783
HEY, GIRLS, LISTEN,
145
00:08:09,783 --> 00:08:12,386
IS THERE ANY WAY ONE OF YOU
COULD LOAN ME A LITTLE MONEY ?
146
00:08:12,386 --> 00:08:13,687
I DON'T NEED A LOT,
I, UH...
147
00:08:13,687 --> 00:08:15,422
WHAT HAPPENED TO
THE $100 I GAVE YOU ?
148
00:08:15,422 --> 00:08:17,157
AND I GAVE YOU $200.
149
00:08:17,157 --> 00:08:18,458
I HIT A BAD STREAK.
150
00:08:18,892 --> 00:08:20,194
IT'S OKAY,
IT'S PART OF THE PLAN.
151
00:08:20,194 --> 00:08:21,929
I'LL WIN IT ALL BACK
BECAUSE I HAVE A SYSTEM.
152
00:08:22,362 --> 00:08:23,230
IT'S FOOLPROOF.
153
00:08:23,230 --> 00:08:24,531
WE ALL LEFT OUR MONEY
IN THE ROOM.
154
00:08:24,965 --> 00:08:28,001
I'LL GET YOU
SOME MONEY.
155
00:08:29,303 --> 00:08:31,038
HEY, BOYS !
156
00:08:45,786 --> 00:08:47,955
HERE YOU GO.
157
00:08:50,123 --> 00:08:52,726
GOSH, EROTICA, AREN'T YOU
NERVOUS ABOUT THE STRIPPIES ?
158
00:08:52,726 --> 00:08:54,027
I COULD NEVER COMPETE
IN A COMPETITION.
159
00:08:54,027 --> 00:08:56,630
ONCE, I WAS IN
A HOT DOG-EATING CONTEST
160
00:08:56,630 --> 00:08:58,799
I WAS SO NERVOUS,
I STARTED LAUGHING
161
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:00,968
AND A WEINER
CAME OUT MY NOSE !
162
00:09:00,968 --> 00:09:03,136
AAHHH...
163
00:09:03,136 --> 00:09:04,438
OOH !
164
00:09:06,173 --> 00:09:07,474
WAAAH !
165
00:09:10,077 --> 00:09:11,812
THE COMPETITION'S
GONNA BE TOUGH.
166
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:14,848
I'M THINKING ABOUT ADDING
ONE MORE MOVE TO MY ROUTINE.
167
00:09:14,848 --> 00:09:16,583
WHAT MOVE ?
168
00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:18,752
SATAN'S PRETZEL.
169
00:09:18,752 --> 00:09:20,921
( gasp )
SATAN'S PRETZEL ?
170
00:09:20,921 --> 00:09:22,222
WELL, THAT'S
HUMANLY IMPOSSIBLE.
171
00:09:22,656 --> 00:09:26,560
I SAW A GIRL TRY IT BACK IN MY
HOMETOWN OF CAMELTOE, MISSOURI.
172
00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:29,596
SHE BROKE HER LEG
IN 37 PLACES,
173
00:09:29,596 --> 00:09:33,066
AND SHE NEVER
STRIPPED AGAIN.
174
00:09:34,368 --> 00:09:37,404
COME ON, QUEENSTER,
ROLL A NINE !
175
00:09:37,404 --> 00:09:40,874
YOUR BABY NEEDS A NEW
PAIR OF ROYAL SLIPPERS !
176
00:09:41,308 --> 00:09:43,043
NINE... NINE !
177
00:09:43,477 --> 00:09:44,344
YES !
178
00:09:44,778 --> 00:09:46,079
HI, KEVIN.
179
00:09:46,079 --> 00:09:48,682
WOW, LOOK AT
ALL YOUR CHIPS.
180
00:09:48,682 --> 00:09:50,851
YEAH !
THE QUEEN'S ON A ROLL !
181
00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:52,152
THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ?
182
00:09:52,152 --> 00:09:53,887
SHE'S IN TOWN TO
JUDGE THE STRIPPIES.
183
00:09:53,887 --> 00:09:58,659
COME ON, YOUR MAJESTY,
ROLL A FIVE !
184
00:09:58,659 --> 00:10:01,261
FIVE, YES !
185
00:10:01,695 --> 00:10:02,562
WOOP-WOOP...
186
00:10:02,996 --> 00:10:03,864
( laughs )
187
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:06,033
MAYBE YOU SHOULD QUIT
WHILE YOU'RE AHEAD.
188
00:10:06,033 --> 00:10:06,900
ARE YOU KIDDING ?
189
00:10:07,334 --> 00:10:10,370
THE SYSTEM'S WORKING,
I'M UP $1,500 !
190
00:10:10,370 --> 00:10:11,238
QUIT ?!
191
00:10:11,238 --> 00:10:12,973
PUT EVERYTHING
ON HARD EIGHT.
192
00:10:13,407 --> 00:10:14,708
$1,500 HARD EIGHT.
193
00:10:14,708 --> 00:10:16,443
I DON'T THINK THAT'S
A VERY GOOD--
194
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:19,046
HARD EIGHT...
HARD EIGHT, WHOO !
195
00:10:19,046 --> 00:10:20,347
HARD EIGHT !
196
00:10:20,347 --> 00:10:22,516
( Queen )
OOH, OOH, OOH...
197
00:10:22,949 --> 00:10:25,118
IT'S A SYSTEM,
THE SYSTEM WORKS !
198
00:10:25,118 --> 00:10:28,155
I'M UP $15,000 !
199
00:10:28,588 --> 00:10:32,926
PREPARED TO BE PERPLEXED AND
ASTONISHED BY THE JOY OF...
200
00:10:32,926 --> 00:10:34,661
MAGIC !
201
00:10:34,661 --> 00:10:37,264
OOO, I LOVE MAGIC.
202
00:10:37,264 --> 00:10:39,433
NOW YOU SEE US...
203
00:10:39,433 --> 00:10:42,035
NOW YOU DON'T !
204
00:10:45,072 --> 00:10:47,674
( gasp )
205
00:10:47,674 --> 00:10:50,277
MY TIARA,
MY PRICELESS TIARA !
206
00:10:50,277 --> 00:10:52,012
IT'S BEEN STOLEN !
207
00:10:52,012 --> 00:10:55,048
DON'T YOU TWITS
REACT TO ANYTHING ?!
208
00:10:55,482 --> 00:10:56,350
MY CHIPS !
209
00:10:56,350 --> 00:10:57,651
ALL MY MONEY,
IT'S GONE !
210
00:10:57,651 --> 00:11:00,253
THIS IS NOT HOW THE SYSTEM
IS SUPPOSED TO WORK !
211
00:11:00,253 --> 00:11:03,290
( phone ringing )
212
00:11:12,833 --> 00:11:14,568
CHIEF STROGANOFF ?
213
00:11:15,001 --> 00:11:16,303
SORRY TO CALL YOU
ON YOUR BRA PHONE,
214
00:11:16,737 --> 00:11:18,038
BUT THIS IS URGENT.
215
00:11:18,038 --> 00:11:20,207
TWO MASKED MAGICIANS HAVE JUST
STOLEN THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND'S
216
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:21,942
PRICELESS TIARA.
217
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:23,243
I KNOW, I WAS THERE.
218
00:11:23,243 --> 00:11:24,544
HOW DID YOU
HEAR ABOUT IT SO FAST ?
219
00:11:24,978 --> 00:11:26,279
LUCKY GUESS.
220
00:11:26,279 --> 00:11:28,014
WE BELIEVE THESE ARE
THE SAME MASKED MAGICIANS
221
00:11:28,448 --> 00:11:30,617
WHO STOLE THE STANLEY CUP,
ROBBED A WAX MUSEUM,
222
00:11:30,617 --> 00:11:32,786
NUMEROUS SPERM BANKS
AND MEN'S LOCKER ROOMS.
223
00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:34,521
I'LL KEEP AN EYE OUT.
224
00:11:34,521 --> 00:11:36,690
THAT'S GREAT, BUT THAT'S
NOT THE REASON I CALLED.
225
00:11:37,124 --> 00:11:39,726
I NEED YOU TO PLACE
$1 MILLION ON THE METS
226
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,461
TO WIN THE SUPER BOWL.
227
00:11:41,461 --> 00:11:44,064
CHIEF, THE SUPER BOWL
IS FOOTBALL.
228
00:11:44,064 --> 00:11:45,365
THE METS
ARE A BASEBALL TEAM.
229
00:11:45,799 --> 00:11:47,100
RIGHT.
230
00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,703
THANK GOD I DON'T GAMBLE.
231
00:11:52,305 --> 00:11:53,607
PERSEPHONE ?
232
00:11:53,607 --> 00:11:54,908
EROTICA ?
233
00:11:54,908 --> 00:11:56,209
OH, I MUST HAVE
FELL ASLEEP.
234
00:11:56,209 --> 00:11:57,944
YOU'VE BEEN OUT HERE
ALL DAY ?
235
00:11:58,378 --> 00:12:00,113
OH, I THINK I GOT
A LITTLE SUNBURN.
236
00:12:00,113 --> 00:12:00,981
A LITTLE ?
237
00:12:03,249 --> 00:12:04,550
WOW !
238
00:12:04,550 --> 00:12:08,020
THE AMAZING WALTER HAS BEEN
HOLDING HIS BREATH UNDERWATER
239
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:11,057
FOR 15 LIFE-THREATENING
MINUTES.
240
00:12:11,057 --> 00:12:12,358
HOW DOES HE DO IT ?
241
00:12:12,358 --> 00:12:14,961
IT'S MAGIC !
242
00:12:15,395 --> 00:12:17,130
( audience gasps )
243
00:12:20,166 --> 00:12:24,070
( cheers & applause )
244
00:12:24,504 --> 00:12:26,672
WHAT A SPECTACULAR
PRESENTATION !
245
00:12:27,106 --> 00:12:30,576
THIS DOESN'T REMIND ME OF
ANYTHING I'VE EVER SEEN BEFORE.
246
00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:31,878
IT WAS GREAT
THAT THE HOTEL
247
00:12:32,311 --> 00:12:34,046
GAVE US FREE TICKETS
FOR BEING ROBBED.
248
00:12:34,046 --> 00:12:36,649
I'D RATHER THOSE MOBSTERS
GIVE ME BACK MY $15,000.
249
00:12:37,083 --> 00:12:38,818
PERSEPHONE,
ARE YOU GONNA SIT DOWN ?
250
00:12:38,818 --> 00:12:40,553
PEOPLE CAN'T SEE.
251
00:12:40,553 --> 00:12:41,421
I CAN'T,
IT HURT !
252
00:12:41,421 --> 00:12:43,589
EVERYTHING HURT.
253
00:12:43,589 --> 00:12:45,324
I CAN'T EVEN
PUT ON CLOTHES.
254
00:12:45,324 --> 00:12:47,059
FOR OUR NEXT TRICK,
255
00:12:47,059 --> 00:12:53,566
WE ACTUALLY ARE GOING TO
LEVITATE A BALDING EAGLE.
256
00:12:53,566 --> 00:12:55,301
LEVITATE !
257
00:12:55,301 --> 00:12:56,602
HOW DO WE DO IT ?
258
00:12:56,602 --> 00:12:59,205
IT'S MAGIC.
259
00:12:59,205 --> 00:13:01,808
OKAY,
FOR OUR NEXT TRICK
260
00:13:01,808 --> 00:13:05,711
WE'RE GOING TO NEED
A VOLUNTEER.
261
00:13:05,711 --> 00:13:09,182
WHO WANTS TO HELP UP SAW
THE BALDING EAGLE IN HALF ?
262
00:13:09,182 --> 00:13:10,917
HOW ABOUT... YOU !
263
00:13:10,917 --> 00:13:15,688
I'M SORRY, BUT BALDING EAGLES
ARE AN ENDANGERED SPECIES.
264
00:13:15,688 --> 00:13:16,989
WE SHOULD FOCUS
ON THEIR CONSERVATION,
265
00:13:17,423 --> 00:13:19,158
NOT EXPLOIT THEM
AS ENTERTAINMENT.
266
00:13:19,158 --> 00:13:20,893
I DON'T CONDONE
THE USE OF ANY ANIMAL
267
00:13:20,893 --> 00:13:22,195
FOR THE AMUSEMENT OF
AN AUDIENCE,
268
00:13:22,628 --> 00:13:23,930
AND I CANNOT
CONDONE THIS TRICK.
269
00:13:24,363 --> 00:13:27,400
SO, NO,
I WILL NOT VOLUNTEER.
270
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,569
YEAH, THAT'S GREAT, LADY,
BUT WE WEREN'T TALKING TO YOU.
271
00:13:29,569 --> 00:13:33,473
WE WERE TALKING
TO... HIM !
272
00:13:38,244 --> 00:13:39,545
MY TIARA !
273
00:13:39,545 --> 00:13:41,714
MY PRICELESS TIARA !
274
00:13:41,714 --> 00:13:43,015
WHAT ?
HMM...
275
00:13:43,015 --> 00:13:45,184
I THINK I KNOW HOW
THE MASKED MAGICIANS ARE.
276
00:13:45,184 --> 00:13:46,486
IT'S WALTER AND MOE.
277
00:13:46,486 --> 00:13:47,787
WHAT DO YOU
KNOW ABOUT THEM ?
278
00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:49,956
I KNOW THEY PUT ON
ONE HELL OF A SHOW.
279
00:13:49,956 --> 00:13:52,124
MAYBE YOU SHOULD PAY THEM
A LITTLE VISIT TOMORROW,
280
00:13:52,558 --> 00:13:53,860
SEE WHAT YOU CAN FIND OUT.
281
00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:55,161
BUT TOMORROW'S
THE STRIPPIES !
282
00:13:55,595 --> 00:13:56,462
DON'T WORRY,
283
00:13:56,462 --> 00:13:58,197
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND A WAY
TO FELL THE VILLAINS
284
00:13:58,631 --> 00:13:59,499
AND SHOW UP AT THE STRIPPIES
285
00:13:59,499 --> 00:14:01,667
JUST IN TIME
TO PERFORM AND WIN.
286
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:03,836
( sighs )
OH, THE LIFE OF
AN EROTIC DANCING
287
00:14:03,836 --> 00:14:06,005
SUPERHERO/SECRET AGENT.
288
00:14:06,005 --> 00:14:07,740
NOW, BE CAREFUL.
289
00:14:07,740 --> 00:14:09,909
WALTER AND MOE
ARE MASTERS OF ILLUSION.
290
00:14:09,909 --> 00:14:11,210
THEY'LL DAZZLE YOU.
291
00:14:11,644 --> 00:14:12,945
YOU WON'T
BELIEVE YOUR EYES.
292
00:14:12,945 --> 00:14:15,548
"THE LAS VEGAS POST" SAYS
THEY'RE A MUST-SEE,
293
00:14:15,982 --> 00:14:19,018
AN AWESOME DISPLAY
OF WONDERMENT AND WHIMSY."
294
00:14:19,018 --> 00:14:20,319
OKAY, I GET IT.
295
00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:21,621
IF YOU LOVE MAGIC,
296
00:14:21,621 --> 00:14:23,356
THEN YOU'LL LOVE
WALTER AND MOE.
297
00:14:23,356 --> 00:14:26,826
IF YOU CAN ONLY SEE
ONE MAGIC SHOW, THEN IT--
298
00:14:30,296 --> 00:14:32,465
LOOK AT ME !
299
00:14:32,899 --> 00:14:34,200
I'M A QUEEN,
I'M A QUEEN !
300
00:14:34,634 --> 00:14:37,236
PLEASE... I'M TRYING TO
WATCH "TRADING SPACES".
301
00:14:37,236 --> 00:14:38,104
VERN IS OVER-BUDGET
302
00:14:38,538 --> 00:14:40,273
AND PAIGE IS GOING TO BE
VERY, VERY UPSET.
303
00:14:40,706 --> 00:14:42,875
( doorbell ringing )
304
00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:45,478
YES ?
305
00:14:45,912 --> 00:14:47,647
HI, I'M APRIL.
306
00:14:47,647 --> 00:14:49,815
APRIL, UH... MAYJUNE.
307
00:14:49,815 --> 00:14:51,984
I'M A REPORTER,
I'M HERE TO INTERVIEW YOU.
308
00:14:52,418 --> 00:14:53,286
WHAT ?
309
00:14:53,286 --> 00:14:55,021
WE DON'T HAVE AN INTERVIEW
SCHEDULED TODAY.
310
00:14:55,021 --> 00:14:56,322
WHO DO YOU WORK FOR ?
311
00:14:56,322 --> 00:14:59,792
OH, UH,
THE... NEW DAILY...
312
00:14:59,792 --> 00:15:01,527
JOURNAL OF MAGIC...
313
00:15:01,527 --> 00:15:04,130
TIMES-- GAZETTE--
MONTHLY.
314
00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:05,431
PLEASE, COME IN.
315
00:15:05,431 --> 00:15:07,600
ENTRE VOUS.
316
00:15:09,769 --> 00:15:11,504
OKAY, SO LET'S GET
RIGHT TO THE QUESTIONS.
317
00:15:11,938 --> 00:15:13,673
YOUR STAGE SHOW
IS SPECTACULAR.
318
00:15:13,673 --> 00:15:16,275
WHERE WERE YOU WHEN
THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND'S
TIARA WAS STOLEN ?
319
00:15:16,275 --> 00:15:18,878
AREN'T YOU GOING TO RECORD
THIS INTERVIEW OR TAKE NOTES ?
320
00:15:18,878 --> 00:15:20,613
I-- I HAVE A GOOD MEMORY.
321
00:15:21,047 --> 00:15:22,782
HEY, IS THAT
JUDY GARLAND ?
322
00:15:23,215 --> 00:15:24,517
WHERE DID
YOU GUYS GET THAT ?
323
00:15:24,951 --> 00:15:26,686
WE BOUGHT IT.
WE MADE IT.
324
00:15:26,686 --> 00:15:28,854
FOR AN INTERVIEWER, YOU SURE
ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS.
325
00:15:29,288 --> 00:15:31,891
WELL, SOMETIMES I FIND
THAT ASKING QUESTIONS
326
00:15:31,891 --> 00:15:34,060
IS THE BEST WAY
TO GET ANSWERS.
327
00:15:34,493 --> 00:15:35,795
OF COURSE...
328
00:15:35,795 --> 00:15:37,530
NOW, IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT,
329
00:15:37,530 --> 00:15:39,265
I HAVE TO GO DO SOME
FACT-CHECKING.
330
00:15:39,699 --> 00:15:41,434
I MEAN,
GO MAKE A DOODIE.
331
00:15:41,434 --> 00:15:45,338
WALTER WILL KEEP YOU
ENTERTAINED, I'M SURE.
332
00:15:52,278 --> 00:15:54,013
HELLO, OPERATOR ?
333
00:15:54,013 --> 00:15:56,616
DO YOU HAVE YOU THE NUMBER
FOR THE NEW DAILY JOURNAL
334
00:15:57,049 --> 00:16:01,387
OF MAGIC TIMES
GAZETTE MONTHLY ?
335
00:16:14,267 --> 00:16:17,303
NORMALLY I ABHOR THE
OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN BUT--
336
00:16:17,303 --> 00:16:19,038
( gasp )
GREAT ASS.
337
00:16:19,038 --> 00:16:22,074
I CAN'T FIND
EROTICA ANYWHERE.
338
00:16:22,074 --> 00:16:22,942
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ?
339
00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:25,111
CALM DOWN,
YOU CRAZY MEATBALL.
340
00:16:25,545 --> 00:16:26,846
THERE'S STILL TIME.
341
00:16:26,846 --> 00:16:29,015
EROTICA NOT GOING ON
FOR AT LEAST HALF-HOUR.
342
00:16:29,449 --> 00:16:32,051
YEAH, BEFORE HER THERE'S STILL
THE GIRLS FROM SILICONES,
343
00:16:32,051 --> 00:16:33,786
MUFFY'S,
THE COCK PIT, THE GINA,
344
00:16:33,786 --> 00:16:35,955
THE WHISKER BISCUIT
AND TWATTY'S.
345
00:16:35,955 --> 00:16:37,690
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ?!
346
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,630
WALTER, CAN I SEE YOU
FOR A SECOND ?
347
00:16:46,365 --> 00:16:47,667
I THOUGHT YOU'D BE
INTERESTED TO KNOW
348
00:16:47,667 --> 00:16:49,836
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE
WITH THE NEW DAILY JOURNAL
349
00:16:49,836 --> 00:16:51,137
OF MAGIC TIMES
GAZETTE MONTHLY
350
00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:55,041
AND THEY DON'T HAVE A REPORTER
NAMED "APRIL MAYJUNE."
351
00:16:55,041 --> 00:16:57,210
I THOUGHT SHE SEEMED
A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS.
352
00:16:57,210 --> 00:17:00,246
WELL, SHE'S ABOUT
TO SEEM A LITTLE--
353
00:17:00,246 --> 00:17:01,547
DEAD !
354
00:17:01,547 --> 00:17:03,282
( evil laughter )
355
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,163
LOOKS LIKE EROTICA
GOT COLD FEET.
356
00:17:17,163 --> 00:17:19,765
IF I WAS HER, I'D BE AFRAID TO
DANCE AGAINST MY GIRLS, TOO.
357
00:17:20,199 --> 00:17:21,934
GUESS YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO FORFEIT.
358
00:17:21,934 --> 00:17:23,236
NOT TRUE.
359
00:17:23,236 --> 00:17:24,103
ACCORDING TO
THE STRIPPIE RULEBOOK,
360
00:17:24,537 --> 00:17:25,838
SECTION 12, ORDINANCE 72-B,
361
00:17:25,838 --> 00:17:27,573
"IN THE EVENT THAT A STRIPPER OF
THE YEAR NOMINEE CANNOT PERFORM,
362
00:17:28,007 --> 00:17:29,742
"A REPRESENTATIVE FROM
THE NOMINEE'S CLUB OF ORIGIN
363
00:17:29,742 --> 00:17:31,911
"IS ENTITLED TO BE SUBSTITUTED
IF SAID NOMINEE
364
00:17:31,911 --> 00:17:34,080
IS INCAPACITATED FOR
REASONS OF UNKNOWN ORIGINS."
365
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:34,947
SO, IF EROTICA
DOESN'T SHOW UP,
366
00:17:35,381 --> 00:17:36,249
WE CAN HAVE SOMEONE ELSE
FROM THE TENDERLOINS
367
00:17:36,682 --> 00:17:37,550
DANCE IN HER PLACE !
368
00:17:37,550 --> 00:17:38,851
THAT'S RIGHT.
369
00:17:38,851 --> 00:17:40,586
DON'T LOOK AT ME,
I'M TOO SUNBURNED.
370
00:17:40,586 --> 00:17:42,321
SO, MISS MAYJUNE,
371
00:17:42,321 --> 00:17:44,056
SEEING THAT
YOU'RE A REPORTER,
372
00:17:44,490 --> 00:17:47,093
WE THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE A TOUR
OF OUR PRIVATE MAGIC ROOM.
373
00:17:47,093 --> 00:17:50,563
WOW, THAT SOUNDS GREAT !
374
00:17:53,165 --> 00:17:54,467
I DECORATED THIS ROOM.
375
00:17:54,467 --> 00:17:56,636
WELL, ACTUALLY,
MOE PICKED THE SCONCES.
376
00:17:57,069 --> 00:17:59,238
WOW, LOOK AT
ALL THIS STUFF !
377
00:17:59,238 --> 00:18:00,540
CAN YOU TELL ME HOW
YOU DO THAT TRICK
378
00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:02,708
WHERE YOU MAKE THE THOUSAND
POUNDS OF CHEESE DISAPPEAR ?
379
00:18:02,708 --> 00:18:04,877
A GOOD MAGICIAN NEVER
TELLS HIS SECRETS !
380
00:18:05,311 --> 00:18:08,781
BUT WE WILL TELL YOU
HOW TO MAKE YOU DISAPPEAR !
381
00:18:08,781 --> 00:18:10,516
OH, WHAT ARE YOU--
382
00:18:10,516 --> 00:18:12,251
( muffled screams )
383
00:18:13,119 --> 00:18:16,155
THIS IS GOING TO BE
THE WORST TRICK EVER...
384
00:18:16,155 --> 00:18:17,890
ON PURPOSE !
385
00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:22,228
WE ARE GONNA TURN YOU
INTO A ABRA-CADAVER !
386
00:18:24,397 --> 00:18:25,698
GAZELLE,
YOU GOTTA GO ON !
387
00:18:25,698 --> 00:18:28,734
NO, I CAN'T,
I'M TERRIFIED OF COMPETITION.
388
00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:30,469
I HAVE ABOUT AS MUCH
CHANCE OF WINNING
389
00:18:30,469 --> 00:18:32,204
AS A FISH
IN A NOODLE FACTORY.
390
00:18:32,204 --> 00:18:33,940
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
391
00:18:33,940 --> 00:18:35,241
I DON'T KNOW,
I'M FROM THE SOUTH,
392
00:18:35,241 --> 00:18:39,579
WE SAY THINGS LIKE THAT.
393
00:18:39,579 --> 00:18:41,314
AHH... UGH !
394
00:18:41,314 --> 00:18:43,482
( muffled talking )
395
00:18:45,651 --> 00:18:46,953
HUH ?!
WHAT ?!
396
00:18:47,386 --> 00:18:48,688
NEVERMIND.
397
00:18:48,688 --> 00:18:50,856
THE GIST WAS THAT I'M ABOUT
TO BEAT YOU SENSELESS,
398
00:18:50,856 --> 00:18:52,158
AND TURN YOU IN
TO THE AUTHORITIES.
399
00:18:52,592 --> 00:18:53,459
GET HER !
400
00:18:53,459 --> 00:18:54,760
AAAH... UGH !
401
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,363
WALTER !
402
00:19:00,399 --> 00:19:01,701
HAH, HAH...
403
00:19:01,701 --> 00:19:03,436
( grunting )
404
00:19:08,641 --> 00:19:10,376
HAH, HAH...
405
00:19:12,111 --> 00:19:14,714
OH, ENOUGH OF
MAGIC-RELATED WEAPONS
406
00:19:14,714 --> 00:19:17,750
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU
THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY !
407
00:19:17,750 --> 00:19:19,919
AAH...
408
00:19:19,919 --> 00:19:21,220
WALTER !
409
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:22,955
NOOOO... !
410
00:19:23,389 --> 00:19:25,558
( whimpering )
411
00:19:25,558 --> 00:19:27,293
MY LITTLE WOODEN BABY...
412
00:19:27,293 --> 00:19:30,329
OH, WALTER,
I'M SO SORRY !
413
00:19:30,329 --> 00:19:34,667
MOE, IS THAT YOU, MOE ?
414
00:19:35,101 --> 00:19:36,402
YES, LITTLE BUDDY.
415
00:19:36,402 --> 00:19:38,571
HANG IN THERE,
YOU'LL BE OKAY.
416
00:19:38,571 --> 00:19:40,306
I DON'T FEEL SO HOT.
417
00:19:40,306 --> 00:19:43,776
EVERYTHING'S DARK...
418
00:19:43,776 --> 00:19:45,945
THE AUTHORITIES
SHOULD BE HERE SHORTLY.
419
00:19:45,945 --> 00:19:48,547
I GUESS I'LL MAKE SURE THEY
SEND AN... AMBULANCE.
420
00:19:48,981 --> 00:19:50,282
TELL ME,
STRIPPERELLA,
421
00:19:50,716 --> 00:19:52,451
HOW DID YOU GET
IN THAT BOX ?
422
00:19:52,451 --> 00:19:54,186
( coughing )
423
00:19:54,186 --> 00:19:59,392
AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT WOMAN
WHO CLAIMED TO BE A REPORTER ?
424
00:19:59,825 --> 00:20:01,994
A GOOD MAGICIAN
NEVER TELLS HER SECRETS.
425
00:20:01,994 --> 00:20:03,295
( gasp )
OH, NO...
426
00:20:03,729 --> 00:20:05,031
THE STRIPPIES !
427
00:20:05,031 --> 00:20:07,199
YOU GOTTA DO THIS,
WE'RE OUTTA TIME !
428
00:20:07,199 --> 00:20:09,368
EROTICA IS
SUPPOSED TO GO ON NEXT !
429
00:20:09,368 --> 00:20:11,971
I CAN'T,
I JUST CAN'T !
430
00:20:12,405 --> 00:20:13,706
IT DOESN'T MATTER IF
SHE DANCES OR NOT,
431
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:15,441
SHE'S JUST
GOING TO LOSE.
432
00:20:15,441 --> 00:20:16,742
SHE'S A BIG LOSER.
433
00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:18,911
LIKE ALL OF YOU
AT THE TENDERLOINS.
434
00:20:18,911 --> 00:20:20,212
THAT'S IT !
435
00:20:20,212 --> 00:20:21,514
I'M DOING IT !
436
00:20:21,514 --> 00:20:24,550
TELL 'EM EROTICA'S REPLACEMENT
IS READY TO GO !
437
00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:27,153
( panting )
438
00:20:27,153 --> 00:20:28,454
( cheering )
439
00:20:28,454 --> 00:20:29,321
EROTICA ?
440
00:20:29,755 --> 00:20:31,057
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ?
441
00:20:31,057 --> 00:20:32,358
AM I TOO LATE ?
442
00:20:46,672 --> 00:20:49,275
THE SATAN'S PRETZEL ?!
443
00:20:51,877 --> 00:20:53,179
A ONE
AND TWO...
444
00:20:53,179 --> 00:20:55,781
AND, AHH...
445
00:20:55,781 --> 00:20:58,384
THE WINNER.
446
00:20:58,384 --> 00:21:01,854
I WON, I WON !
447
00:21:07,927 --> 00:21:10,096
EROTICA,
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU ?
448
00:21:10,529 --> 00:21:13,132
I WASN'T FEELING WELL,
BUT I SUDDENLY GOT BETTER.
449
00:21:13,132 --> 00:21:16,168
I GUESS YOU COULD SAY
IT WAS... MAGIC.
450
00:21:16,168 --> 00:21:19,205
( laughter )
451
00:21:40,893 --> 00:21:43,496
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪
452
00:21:45,231 --> 00:21:47,833
♪ STRIPPERELLA ♪♪
31254
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