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♪ It seems todaythat all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,897 --> 00:00:07,822
♪ Is violence in moviesand sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:11,677
♪ But where are thosegood old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,828 --> 00:00:14,680
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,831 --> 00:00:18,166
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:21,336
♪ Lucky there's a man whopositively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:23,080
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,098 --> 00:00:24,339
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:30,195
♪ He's... a...Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,201
This is the shirt you chose?
11
00:00:36,428 --> 00:00:38,929
Denim, with all the
Warner Brothers characters
12
00:00:38,947 --> 00:00:40,021
peeking out of the pocket?
13
00:00:40,041 --> 00:00:42,099
Yeah, it's the fanciest shirt
I have.
14
00:00:42,192 --> 00:00:45,026
But Warner Brothers wouldn't
license their actual characters.
15
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:47,287
Eh, how are you, Doctor?
16
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:49,106
Oh, my God,
will you look at this?
17
00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:51,717
Bonnie's latest post has
43 likes.
18
00:00:51,944 --> 00:00:53,719
That's tied for the record.
19
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,283
That's good, but it should say,
"Pretty good view from here."
20
00:00:59,301 --> 00:01:01,894
No, no, no, it's because
she's at the pier.
21
00:01:02,121 --> 00:01:05,122
So... I love that.
22
00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:07,124
- (phone chimes)
- LOIS: Damn it, Peter,
23
00:01:07,126 --> 00:01:08,975
now she's got
the Spooner Street record.
24
00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:10,977
PETER: Hang on, I'm texting
Quagmire and Cleveland.
25
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:12,312
They gotta see this.
26
00:01:12,464 --> 00:01:15,074
(phone chimes)
27
00:01:15,301 --> 00:01:17,493
(indistinct chatter)
28
00:01:18,746 --> 00:01:20,895
Hey, kids, I'm Mr. Andy,
and I just invented
29
00:01:20,989 --> 00:01:23,156
this really crazy game.
30
00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:25,659
One person hides
in a top secret spot,
31
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:28,921
and the others count to ten,
then try and find him.
32
00:01:29,148 --> 00:01:31,757
We'll call it, oh, I don't know,
"hide-and-seek"?
33
00:01:31,908 --> 00:01:34,909
I say, one game covering
covert activity,
34
00:01:34,929 --> 00:01:36,820
surveillance and counting?
35
00:01:36,839 --> 00:01:40,173
I would follow this man into
the very bowels of hell.
36
00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:42,008
All right, who wants
to hide first?
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00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:43,844
Oh, me, me.
38
00:01:43,996 --> 00:01:46,087
Looks like we have
our first little hider.
39
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:49,499
I'm so glad they didn't fire you
for giving us baths.
40
00:01:49,593 --> 00:01:53,503
Okay, it's time to bid on our
final donated item of the night:
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00:01:53,522 --> 00:01:56,173
a romantic Vermont
weekend getaway.
42
00:01:56,266 --> 00:01:57,783
(gasp)
Peter, we have to win.
43
00:01:57,934 --> 00:02:00,677
Vermont is an Instagram
goldmine.
44
00:02:00,696 --> 00:02:02,121
I could shatter Bonnie's record.
45
00:02:02,272 --> 00:02:03,271
Lois, we can't afford...
46
00:02:03,365 --> 00:02:04,772
I'll take you to Ben & Jerry's.
47
00:02:04,867 --> 00:02:06,792
I have $600 taped to my stomach.
48
00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:08,127
$600!
49
00:02:08,278 --> 00:02:09,944
Sold.
There were no other bids.
50
00:02:10,038 --> 00:02:12,539
You could have had it for $40.
51
00:02:12,691 --> 00:02:14,374
(stammering)
52
00:02:14,526 --> 00:02:16,877
That concludes this scene,
ladies and gentlemen.
53
00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:18,345
(slide whistle)
54
00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:25,218
Chris, what... Oh, who cares?
55
00:02:25,371 --> 00:02:26,887
We're in Vermont till Sunday.
56
00:02:26,981 --> 00:02:29,890
Call if you have to
but, like, let's not call.
57
00:02:30,042 --> 00:02:32,133
Can we only brush our teeth
for 60 seconds
58
00:02:32,227 --> 00:02:33,801
instead of the full 90?
59
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,896
You brush your teeth? Nerd.
60
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,714
And remember, kids,
if you get nervous,
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00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:40,400
you can always turn on
the home security system.
62
00:02:40,552 --> 00:02:43,887
That's right.
The keypad code is 6969.
63
00:02:43,906 --> 00:02:45,146
If your mother doesn't want
to do it,
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00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:46,556
at least she can type it.
65
00:02:46,650 --> 00:02:48,500
You're a legend, Dad.
66
00:02:52,247 --> 00:02:54,173
Hey, Brian, can you find me?
67
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,067
What the...
Is that a talking blanket?
68
00:02:57,085 --> 00:02:59,011
It's me.
It's crazy, right?
69
00:02:59,238 --> 00:03:01,421
It's this brand-new game
called hide-and-seek.
70
00:03:01,590 --> 00:03:04,607
Basically a peekaboo
on Flintstones Vitamins.
71
00:03:04,609 --> 00:03:05,759
-Let's play
-Fine.
72
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,352
But like all adults,
on my turns,
73
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,171
I'll only hide in beds
so I can take little naps.
74
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,932
I'll start counting.
Go upstairs.
75
00:03:12,084 --> 00:03:15,009
Whoa, I never even thought about
hiding upstairs.
76
00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:17,604
This is a game changer,
like Twitch.
77
00:03:17,756 --> 00:03:21,349
YOUTUBER: Normal voice.
Playing Mine craft, quiet-normal.
78
00:03:21,443 --> 00:03:23,184
Loudest scream possible!
79
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:26,187
Kinda quiet, normal-quiet,
Mine craft.
80
00:03:26,281 --> 00:03:28,457
Scorching-hot audio levels!
81
00:03:38,961 --> 00:03:39,943
Oh, my God.
82
00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:43,447
Pretty cool spot, eh, Bri?
83
00:03:43,465 --> 00:03:45,707
Do all kids know
what a good spot
84
00:03:45,875 --> 00:03:47,226
a closed-door refrigerator is?
85
00:03:47,453 --> 00:03:50,044
No. Don't ever hide in there.
Could you even breathe?
86
00:03:50,064 --> 00:03:52,472
No. It's a good thing
you were looking for me.
87
00:03:52,641 --> 00:03:55,141
Stewie, no. Very bad.
88
00:03:55,294 --> 00:03:56,626
What the hell was that?
89
00:03:56,645 --> 00:03:58,979
A spanking.
That was me spanking you.
90
00:03:59,131 --> 00:04:02,299
That's it? Brian,
you either gotta be that guy
91
00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:03,467
or-or not be that guy.
92
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:06,495
I-I don't...
I don't know what that was.
93
00:04:18,317 --> 00:04:20,333
Oh, God, she did it again.
94
00:04:20,486 --> 00:04:21,668
- Who?
- Bonnie.
95
00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:24,763
Every time I do a post,
she does one right after.
96
00:04:24,990 --> 00:04:26,448
- So what?
- So what?
97
00:04:26,508 --> 00:04:28,934
It undercuts my post's
popularity.
98
00:04:29,161 --> 00:04:31,603
Like Armageddon and Deep Impact.
99
00:04:31,755 --> 00:04:33,680
Oh, yeah, that was weird.
100
00:04:33,757 --> 00:04:36,275
Can you imagine you just
wrapped principle shooting
101
00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:38,335
on Volcano, and you're
very proud of it,
102
00:04:38,428 --> 00:04:40,520
and then bam,
here comes Dante's Peak?
103
00:04:40,672 --> 00:04:41,763
One more and I'll get it.
104
00:04:41,931 --> 00:04:44,508
You've just finished
a comprehensive retelling
105
00:04:44,526 --> 00:04:47,101
of early '70s middle-distance
running in Oregon
106
00:04:47,195 --> 00:04:48,345
with Prefontaine,
107
00:04:48,438 --> 00:04:50,030
and then boom,
your Leto gets Crudup'ed
108
00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:53,033
by Without Limits.
109
00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:55,035
Sorry, I was tracking
two ladies holding hands,
110
00:04:55,187 --> 00:04:57,278
and they just kissed goodbye,
so I've been elsewhere.
111
00:04:57,298 --> 00:05:00,999
Wha-What were you saying?
Y-You like movies or something?
112
00:05:01,226 --> 00:05:02,208
Ah, look at this.
113
00:05:02,361 --> 00:05:04,361
A glassblowing class.
114
00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:07,431
That kind of crap is perfect
for Instagram.
115
00:05:09,793 --> 00:05:11,643
(phone chimes)
116
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:18,800
Oh, I'm so beat.
117
00:05:18,877 --> 00:05:20,468
Me and Rupert played H&S...
118
00:05:20,487 --> 00:05:21,878
Quicker way to say
hide-and-seek...
119
00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:24,472
All night,
until like 8:00 p.m.
120
00:05:24,566 --> 00:05:26,049
I'm not even joking.
Wanna play?
121
00:05:26,142 --> 00:05:28,401
Not now. I'm trying to get
this TED Talk onto the TV.
122
00:05:28,554 --> 00:05:31,145
I can see the PornHub logo
reflecting on your
123
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,740
big, wet dog eyes, you scumbag.
124
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,560
Honestly, Stewie, I'm getting
pretty bored of hide-and-seek.
125
00:05:36,578 --> 00:05:38,837
Oh, please, Brian,
just one game. Please?
126
00:05:39,064 --> 00:05:40,488
(sighs)
Okay.
127
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:42,007
But no more hiding
in the fridge,
128
00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:44,234
in the washing machine,
the open safe
129
00:05:44,252 --> 00:05:46,069
with the long-forgotten
combination.
130
00:05:46,088 --> 00:05:47,404
Oh, no, I'm way better now.
131
00:05:47,497 --> 00:05:49,163
I might be the best player
in the world.
132
00:05:49,257 --> 00:05:52,184
Okay, I'm gonna go hide.
Count to 20.
133
00:05:58,433 --> 00:06:01,485
I'll probably count to, like,
six or seven minutes.
134
00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:13,597
Oh, baby, that's the spot.
135
00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:16,083
♪ ♪
136
00:06:25,293 --> 00:06:26,718
Oh, Amelie, Noelle,
137
00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:28,553
I have a 48-hour layover
in Paris,
138
00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:30,780
and I'd love to include you
in my horny plans.
139
00:06:30,799 --> 00:06:31,890
BOTH:
Oui, oui.
140
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:34,726
Yeah, on me.
That's what I was hoping for.
141
00:06:34,878 --> 00:06:37,062
Oh, this is gonna be
a great weekend.
142
00:06:37,213 --> 00:06:38,471
That seems like
it's happening, right?
143
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:40,140
Your orgy? Yeah.
144
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,175
Can we just talk about
plane stuff?
145
00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:43,460
Ah, I forget you young guys
146
00:06:43,478 --> 00:06:45,237
don't like to talk about sex
at work.
147
00:06:45,464 --> 00:06:47,572
Hey, take over for a sec.
I gotta make sure I packed
148
00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:50,634
my pilot sunglasses that
diminish our entire profession
149
00:06:50,636 --> 00:06:52,994
to a frat guy's
Halloween costume.
150
00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:58,733
- Stewie?
- Mr. Quagmire?
151
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,460
Terrance.
152
00:07:08,244 --> 00:07:09,669
All right, we're gonna
get you home, little guy.
153
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,321
(line ringing)
154
00:07:11,490 --> 00:07:13,748
Peter, is Lois there?
Put me on speaker.
155
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,842
Hi, Glenn.
What's going on?
156
00:07:15,919 --> 00:07:17,084
Well, I just flew to Paris,
157
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,253
and Stewie was somehow
in my suitcase.
158
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:20,605
He must have snuck in there.
159
00:07:20,832 --> 00:07:22,590
Oh, my God!
Is he okay?
160
00:07:22,684 --> 00:07:25,277
Yeah, he's eating one of those
weird French street ham things
161
00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:27,446
that aren't good
but are also amazing.
162
00:07:27,597 --> 00:07:28,763
Look, how soon can you
come get him?
163
00:07:28,782 --> 00:07:30,282
I only have 48 hours in Paris
164
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:32,433
and a whole list of
horny activities to do.
165
00:07:32,527 --> 00:07:35,361
Okay, let me just do the math.
166
00:07:35,438 --> 00:07:38,272
In 48 hours we'd need to
get to an airport,
167
00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:41,034
which we're hours from,
find a last-minute flight...
168
00:07:41,186 --> 00:07:42,127
If there are any...
169
00:07:42,354 --> 00:07:45,188
Fly ten hours,
then wait for Peter's
170
00:07:45,207 --> 00:07:46,873
post-flight airport poop...
171
00:07:47,025 --> 00:07:48,282
Peter don't poop on planes.
172
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:51,803
Or we leave him in the care
of a trusted adult
173
00:07:51,955 --> 00:07:54,288
and one of our best friends
and enjoy the first trip
174
00:07:54,457 --> 00:07:56,349
we've had together in years.
175
00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:59,035
Lois, uh, shouldn't we go?
176
00:07:59,128 --> 00:08:01,371
(sighs)
Okay, if you think that...
177
00:08:01,464 --> 00:08:03,815
- (phone chimes)
- Ah! I got another like.
178
00:08:04,042 --> 00:08:06,042
Peter, listen, Stewie is safe,
179
00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:08,378
we're in the prettiest place
we'll ever be
180
00:08:08,396 --> 00:08:10,213
and I'm on an Instagram
hot streak.
181
00:08:10,232 --> 00:08:12,232
I can beat Bonnie's record.
182
00:08:12,384 --> 00:08:13,566
Still, as parents,
I think that...
183
00:08:13,719 --> 00:08:16,069
Oh, look, my mom's friend that
kind of looks like
184
00:08:16,221 --> 00:08:18,905
the AT&T lady just commented
on my last post.
185
00:08:19,057 --> 00:08:23,001
She says, "Your husband is
very handsome."
186
00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:25,003
Quags, you got this, right?
187
00:08:25,154 --> 00:08:29,156
- Captain Quagmire, the Quags...
- Stop! I can't believe this.
188
00:08:29,251 --> 00:08:30,842
(sighs sharply)
Okay, I'll watch him.
189
00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:32,201
But I'm not happy, Peter.
190
00:08:32,203 --> 00:08:33,678
Oh, and now that you're
my babysitter,
191
00:08:33,830 --> 00:08:35,421
I'd rather you call me
Mr. Griffin.
192
00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:37,516
(phones chime)
193
00:08:37,667 --> 00:08:40,093
Peter, did you just text me
the peach emoji
194
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,911
followed by
the water squirt emoji?
195
00:08:41,930 --> 00:08:44,247
Yeah. You're the babysitter now.
196
00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:46,608
And it's "Mr. Griffin."
197
00:08:50,922 --> 00:08:52,647
ANNOUNCER (French accent):
This is the Paris Attractions Channel,
198
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:55,700
with a host who's
never been to Paris.
199
00:08:55,852 --> 00:08:57,369
Oh, wow, what is that thing?
200
00:08:57,596 --> 00:09:00,430
The Eiffel Tower is one of
Paris' top attractions.
201
00:09:00,448 --> 00:09:02,115
It's like a hundred feet, huh?
202
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,951
Yeah, yeah. I wonder
if you could get up there.
203
00:09:05,103 --> 00:09:08,271
If you do plan on visiting,
you want to get here early.
204
00:09:08,290 --> 00:09:10,882
Is that right? Yeah, yeah,
that could be cool.
205
00:09:11,034 --> 00:09:12,867
Hey, is that, like,
the king's house?
206
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,386
Oh! Can we go there? Please?
207
00:09:14,613 --> 00:09:16,129
I don't know
what you're yammering about,
208
00:09:16,281 --> 00:09:18,948
but the only place you're going
is this hotel and the airport.
209
00:09:18,967 --> 00:09:20,541
Kind of thought
you'd be asleep by now.
210
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:23,544
I'm smart but not
"put myself to sleep" smart.
211
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:26,639
I'm just gonna put on some music
for a bit to calm down.
212
00:09:26,792 --> 00:09:28,141
- What do you like?
- Goo-goo.
213
00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:29,793
- The Dolls?
- Gaga.
214
00:09:29,811 --> 00:09:30,885
The Lady?
(chuckles): Aha.
215
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,145
Now you're talking my language.
216
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,830
(dance music playing)
217
00:09:33,890 --> 00:09:35,240
(chuckling)
218
00:09:35,391 --> 00:09:38,151
Hey. Hey, you got moves, man.
219
00:09:38,303 --> 00:09:40,153
Yeah, I mean, Ms. Christie
put me two from the middle
220
00:09:40,229 --> 00:09:41,487
at dance class winter demo.
221
00:09:41,582 --> 00:09:42,989
I know what I'm doing.
222
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,490
(music stops) - Hey, you
want to jump on the bed?
223
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:45,584
See how high you can get?
224
00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:46,901
- Go ahead.
- Is...
225
00:09:46,995 --> 00:09:48,812
A-Are we allowed?
226
00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:50,463
Is this really happening?
227
00:09:51,666 --> 00:09:52,591
Hey, that looks fun.
228
00:09:52,742 --> 00:09:54,718
- (laughing)
- (rattling)
229
00:09:56,171 --> 00:09:57,762
(pounding at door)
230
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,657
Me and this baby who is not mine
231
00:10:00,659 --> 00:10:02,675
are in the room below
trying to sleep.
232
00:10:02,828 --> 00:10:03,768
This is hotel,
233
00:10:03,995 --> 00:10:07,163
not jungle gym
children's play structure.
234
00:10:07,256 --> 00:10:09,232
- Very sorry.
- It won't happen again.
235
00:10:10,551 --> 00:10:12,777
(laughing)
236
00:10:12,929 --> 00:10:15,280
- What a loser.
- What a dork baby.
237
00:10:15,507 --> 00:10:17,357
You know, I think
they were weirdly on our plane.
238
00:10:17,509 --> 00:10:20,535
I weirdly think those guys
were on our airport shuttle.
239
00:10:24,349 --> 00:10:26,833
You know, I envy you, Stewie.
240
00:10:26,943 --> 00:10:28,518
I used to be innocent like you.
241
00:10:28,536 --> 00:10:29,294
I've killed people.
242
00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:31,129
Then I lost my virginity at six
243
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:33,022
to our strangely female plumber.
244
00:10:33,041 --> 00:10:35,282
- Respect.
- I know you're just a baby, but...
245
00:10:35,377 --> 00:10:37,026
I feel like
you really understand me.
246
00:10:37,045 --> 00:10:39,453
I can understand you, dude.
247
00:10:39,473 --> 00:10:40,454
(yawns)
248
00:10:40,474 --> 00:10:42,974
Aw, it's late.
You must be tired.
249
00:10:44,703 --> 00:10:46,478
♪ ♪
250
00:10:46,705 --> 00:10:48,037
There you go, little buddy.
251
00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:50,223
(sighing contentedly)
252
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:54,727
ANNOUNCER: We now
return to Toi, Moi et Dupree.
253
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,529
OWEN WILSON:
Le wow.
254
00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,909
(indistinct chatter)
255
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:05,738
They say Mona Lisa's eyes
follow you wherever you go.
256
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,041
(phone buttons clicking)
257
00:11:11,062 --> 00:11:12,837
Yeesh. Quagmire was right.
258
00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:14,297
Somebody's in here!
259
00:11:15,676 --> 00:11:16,900
(stall door closes)
260
00:11:16,918 --> 00:11:19,252
(flatulence)
261
00:11:19,404 --> 00:11:22,347
Oh, her expression is gas!
262
00:11:24,759 --> 00:11:27,243
(birds chirping)
263
00:11:27,336 --> 00:11:29,312
♪ ♪
264
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,174
Oh, this is it.
265
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:35,752
A good caption
and Bonnie's reign is over.
266
00:11:35,845 --> 00:11:38,029
Hey, how 'bout we stand
on either side of the tree
267
00:11:38,256 --> 00:11:40,273
and the caption is
"Tree Amigos"?
268
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:45,261
Or I'm holding a leaf and
it says "Leafing is so hard"?
269
00:11:45,280 --> 00:11:46,371
Yeah, uh, you know, I feel like
270
00:11:46,598 --> 00:11:48,206
someone said "Tree Amigos"
earlier
271
00:11:48,433 --> 00:11:49,874
and-and we were...
We were all laughing.
272
00:11:50,026 --> 00:11:51,617
Okay, step back.
273
00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:52,877
Another step.
274
00:11:52,954 --> 00:11:55,621
- (birds chirping)
- (wind blowing)
275
00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:57,006
Big step back.
276
00:11:57,959 --> 00:11:59,125
Peter, are you sure?
277
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,944
I'm a little close to the edge.
278
00:12:01,037 --> 00:12:04,130
No, you're fine.
One more big, big step back.
279
00:12:04,282 --> 00:12:06,599
You know what,
tiny step forward.
280
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,310
W...
(screams)
281
00:12:10,455 --> 00:12:12,981
Whoa, that's not
usually how cliffs work.
282
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,403
You know, Stewie, this wasn't
the weekend I had planned,
283
00:12:18,554 --> 00:12:19,979
but I'm having a lot of fun
with you.
284
00:12:20,131 --> 00:12:21,388
Me, too. It's so fun,
285
00:12:21,483 --> 00:12:24,075
I don't even mind
the too-loud French radio.
286
00:12:24,227 --> 00:12:25,969
RADIO DJ:
Bonsoir, Paris. You're listening
287
00:12:25,987 --> 00:12:27,746
to Double Vé-Cé-O-Qu, Le Coq.
288
00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:29,639
Rude 102! Shut up!
289
00:12:29,657 --> 00:12:31,916
We've got deux ticketsfor Un Direction,
290
00:12:32,068 --> 00:12:33,977
so give us a callat cinq-cinq-cinq,
291
00:12:33,979 --> 00:12:35,478
cinq-cinq-cinq-cinq.
292
00:12:35,497 --> 00:12:38,405
And I hope the ladies have
an umbrella for this next one
293
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:40,650
or they'll be "Alouette."
294
00:12:40,668 --> 00:12:43,595
FEMALE SINGER: ♪
Alouette, gentille alouette. ♪
295
00:12:43,746 --> 00:12:45,638
(crickets chirping)
296
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:50,843
I love you, man.
297
00:12:50,996 --> 00:12:52,586
I love you, too, man.
298
00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:56,757
And, hey, you know, I-I know
my dad and everyone says
299
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,093
that your car I-looks...
300
00:12:59,187 --> 00:13:00,837
Is like a woman's car,
301
00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:02,429
but I-I like it.
302
00:13:02,491 --> 00:13:04,598
And, hey, off-topic,
but you-you don't think
303
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:07,952
my car is-is like
a-a woman's car, right?
304
00:13:08,029 --> 00:13:09,529
Yeah, no. No, no way, man.
305
00:13:09,681 --> 00:13:10,696
Okay, good, good, good.
306
00:13:10,849 --> 00:13:12,698
Yeah, 'cause Peter's
always saying stuff.
307
00:13:12,851 --> 00:13:14,367
I-I mean, I love your dad,
308
00:13:14,519 --> 00:13:17,462
but he's-he's just...
He's not very sensitive.
309
00:13:20,616 --> 00:13:23,051
(brakes squeaking)
310
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,264
(beep)
311
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:30,517
(air hissing)
312
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,148
Oh, my God, it's Madeline!
313
00:13:37,300 --> 00:13:38,983
She must have snuck out
of the nunnery.
314
00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:41,027
She's kind of a bad girl.
315
00:13:44,232 --> 00:13:45,990
I got to shoot my shot with her.
316
00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:49,285
♪ ♪
317
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,148
(beep)
318
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:55,575
ANNOUNCER:
We are approaching
319
00:13:55,727 --> 00:13:56,984
the end of the line.
320
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:59,745
Please grab all bags and babies.
321
00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,064
Stewie, we got to get off.
322
00:14:01,082 --> 00:14:02,748
Hey, Stewie,
stop messing around.
323
00:14:02,825 --> 00:14:04,676
This is our stop.
324
00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:05,993
Stewie!
325
00:14:06,162 --> 00:14:08,680
Stewie! Where are you?!
326
00:14:08,907 --> 00:14:09,848
Oh, please, you got to help me.
327
00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:11,015
I'm looking for a little boy
328
00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:12,499
with red overalls
and a yellow shirt.
329
00:14:12,594 --> 00:14:14,594
You are looking to buy
or to rent?
330
00:14:14,746 --> 00:14:16,337
What? No! God!
(stammers)
331
00:14:16,431 --> 00:14:18,581
How is Paris considered
a classy city?
332
00:14:18,674 --> 00:14:21,276
The buildings are beautiful.
The people are trash.
333
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,325
Stewie! Stewie!
334
00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:31,777
Stewie!
335
00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:33,446
Sir, have you seen a baby
336
00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:35,114
with a football-shaped head
around here?
337
00:14:35,266 --> 00:14:37,858
Yes, all babies have
a round, football-shaped head.
338
00:14:37,936 --> 00:14:39,210
No, I mean the real football!
339
00:14:39,362 --> 00:14:41,454
The one where you can't remember
how to put on pants
340
00:14:41,606 --> 00:14:42,380
when you're 38.
341
00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:43,530
Taxi!
342
00:14:43,550 --> 00:14:46,200
Taxi rapid transfer
garbage strike.
343
00:14:46,294 --> 00:14:49,629
It began a moment ago and
will end the moment you leave.
344
00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:51,723
(panting)
345
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:54,375
(panting)
346
00:14:54,469 --> 00:14:55,376
Stewie?
347
00:14:55,470 --> 00:14:56,953
Are you here?
348
00:14:56,971 --> 00:14:58,229
(shower curtain opens)
349
00:14:58,456 --> 00:14:59,731
(rustling)
350
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:03,142
(groans)
I'm screwed.
351
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,128
I'm totally screwed.
352
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,129
(dialing)
353
00:15:06,147 --> 00:15:07,630
Wait a minute.
I can't call Peter.
354
00:15:07,799 --> 00:15:08,740
He'll kill me!
355
00:15:08,891 --> 00:15:10,742
(inhales deeply, sighs)
356
00:15:10,893 --> 00:15:12,318
(beep, line ringing)
357
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:14,746
(ringing)
358
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,491
Ha-ha. Got him.
359
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,143
Glenn Quagmire.
360
00:15:20,236 --> 00:15:22,645
What... is... up?
361
00:15:22,664 --> 00:15:23,829
I lost Stewie in Paris.
362
00:15:23,982 --> 00:15:25,665
We got separated
and I can't find him.
363
00:15:25,741 --> 00:15:26,666
I'm too ashamed to tell Peter.
364
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:28,075
What? Did you call the police?
365
00:15:28,169 --> 00:15:31,003
On strike. Brian, you're
the last guy I want to call,
366
00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,655
but you know Stewie better
than anyone.
367
00:15:32,674 --> 00:15:33,823
Can you help me find him?
368
00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:35,324
I'll fly you to Paris.
369
00:15:35,343 --> 00:15:38,327
First class and no male
flight attendants in my area.
370
00:15:38,329 --> 00:15:40,329
- Fine.
- I knew airlines could do that!
371
00:15:40,348 --> 00:15:42,440
Also, I want a special
Kibbles 'n Bits meal.
372
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,016
- Fine...
- Only, Quagmire,
373
00:15:44,169 --> 00:15:45,351
I want just the bits.
374
00:15:45,503 --> 00:15:47,353
Come on! Who's gonna pick
the kibbles out?
375
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:50,323
I kind of don't want to have
to think about that, Glenn.
376
00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:54,376
Lois, you had a big fall,
but you're gonna be fine.
377
00:15:54,437 --> 00:15:55,436
We're getting you
to the hospital.
378
00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,847
Oh, Peter,
I'm so glad you're here.
379
00:15:57,865 --> 00:15:59,365
Me, too. Hey, you know,
380
00:15:59,534 --> 00:16:01,775
you were saying some
crazy things when you were out.
381
00:16:01,869 --> 00:16:04,020
- I was?
- Yeah, I mean,
382
00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,538
you said you lost 1,100 bucks
on Bet Kings.
383
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:07,690
I checked the account.
You definitely lost it.
384
00:16:07,783 --> 00:16:10,134
But in light of what happened,
I'm not mad at you.
385
00:16:10,361 --> 00:16:12,786
I mean, UConn had
literally never lost to Rutgers
386
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:14,363
in lacrosse.
I mean, it was free money.
387
00:16:14,382 --> 00:16:16,957
You're betting on lacrosse now?
388
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,034
You're not wrong!
389
00:16:18,203 --> 00:16:20,478
There's no way UConn loses twice
in a row!
390
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,797
Plus, Syracuse's all-American
attacker, Tristan Wyndcroft,
391
00:16:23,891 --> 00:16:24,798
broke his leg!
392
00:16:24,892 --> 00:16:26,818
It'll be all Huskies all day!
393
00:16:26,969 --> 00:16:28,635
Peter, no!
394
00:16:28,730 --> 00:16:29,636
Just rest, babe!
395
00:16:29,731 --> 00:16:31,698
I promise I'm not mad at you!
396
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:37,644
Where else could Stewie be?
397
00:16:37,739 --> 00:16:39,889
Should we look in, like, a park?
398
00:16:39,907 --> 00:16:41,315
"In, like, a park"?
399
00:16:41,409 --> 00:16:43,743
I flew you out here
for this level of insight?
400
00:16:43,895 --> 00:16:46,062
- I thought you knew him!
- I do know him, okay?
401
00:16:46,231 --> 00:16:48,155
And I would have taken
a lot better care of him.
402
00:16:48,249 --> 00:16:50,008
You lost him, Glenn!
How do you do that?
403
00:16:50,193 --> 00:16:52,902
What, did you go to a-a sex...
place or something
404
00:16:53,071 --> 00:16:54,253
and leave him tied up outside?
405
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:56,589
No! We went out to dinner
and drank some wine,
406
00:16:56,741 --> 00:16:59,350
just like every responsible
adult and child in France.
407
00:16:59,502 --> 00:17:00,667
But you're right.
408
00:17:00,762 --> 00:17:01,853
I lost him.
409
00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:04,914
And now he's gone
and it's all my fault.
410
00:17:04,932 --> 00:17:06,691
I'm a loser.
(sniffles, sighs)
411
00:17:06,842 --> 00:17:08,675
I'd do anything to get him back.
412
00:17:08,770 --> 00:17:10,010
I really miss him.
413
00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,512
- You do?
- Yeah.
414
00:17:11,680 --> 00:17:12,772
We really bonded.
415
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,014
It was nice.
416
00:17:14,034 --> 00:17:15,925
He's a special little guy, huh?
417
00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:17,777
Yeah. He sure is.
418
00:17:17,929 --> 00:17:18,944
We just got to find him.
419
00:17:19,097 --> 00:17:20,872
And in a town called
"gay Paree,"
420
00:17:21,023 --> 00:17:22,707
he could literally be anywhere.
421
00:17:22,784 --> 00:17:25,126
(ominous music playing)
422
00:17:28,773 --> 00:17:29,789
Where am I?
423
00:17:29,941 --> 00:17:32,175
What am I going to do?
424
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,056
My guidebook said
Marcel Proust is buried there.
425
00:17:38,207 --> 00:17:39,465
He'll know what to do.
426
00:17:39,617 --> 00:17:42,435
- (owl hooting)
- (insects trilling)
427
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,548
(screams)
428
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:49,625
(panting)
429
00:17:49,718 --> 00:17:51,444
- (meows)
- (screams)
430
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,323
(screams)
431
00:17:57,726 --> 00:17:58,701
(screams)
432
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:06,900
Ugh. Can't even get through
his tomb quote.
433
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,477
(sighs)
434
00:18:08,479 --> 00:18:11,738
I wish Brian were here
to pretend he gets it.
435
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,966
(crying)
436
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,326
The Père Lachaise Cemetery.
437
00:18:24,329 --> 00:18:26,420
We were supposed to go
before we got separated!
438
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,589
Yeah, and while we're here,
I wouldn't mind taking a leak
439
00:18:28,683 --> 00:18:30,182
on Gérard Depardieu's grave.
440
00:18:30,335 --> 00:18:31,500
He's still alive.
441
00:18:31,519 --> 00:18:32,668
Really?
442
00:18:32,687 --> 00:18:33,760
How?
443
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:35,838
Stewie!
444
00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:38,674
- Stewie!
- Hey, look!
445
00:18:38,693 --> 00:18:40,009
- (crying)
- Stewie!
446
00:18:40,027 --> 00:18:43,012
Brian? What...
what are you doing here?
447
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:44,997
- Quagmire called me...
- (crying)
448
00:18:46,851 --> 00:18:47,959
And, um...
449
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:50,369
and he told me you guys
were playing hide-and-seek
450
00:18:50,521 --> 00:18:52,797
but that you were
too good a player for him.
451
00:18:52,948 --> 00:18:54,799
He... he did?
452
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:56,467
He did.
He said he needed my help,
453
00:18:56,619 --> 00:18:58,577
because I'm a dog
and I can smell you.
454
00:18:58,729 --> 00:19:00,972
You're too good
to be found any other way.
455
00:19:01,123 --> 00:19:03,048
You know, this is
probably the best hiding place
456
00:19:03,201 --> 00:19:04,049
I've ever seen.
457
00:19:04,202 --> 00:19:05,309
But it's not...
458
00:19:05,461 --> 00:19:07,036
It-it wasn't...
459
00:19:07,054 --> 00:19:08,312
You really think so?
460
00:19:08,464 --> 00:19:09,205
I know so.
461
00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:10,631
Nobody would ever look here.
462
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:11,707
It's too scary.
463
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,043
It is pretty scary.
464
00:19:14,061 --> 00:19:16,395
Am I the best hide-and-seek
player in the world?
465
00:19:16,547 --> 00:19:17,804
Uh, yeah.
466
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,658
There's the best little
travel buddy in the world!
467
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,570
Whoa! I guess I'm really good
at lots of stuff!
468
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,957
I'd say we should get a room,
but we already have one.
469
00:19:30,578 --> 00:19:31,727
Yep.
470
00:19:31,746 --> 00:19:32,837
Totally.
471
00:19:33,064 --> 00:19:36,081
I missed you,
you unrelenting douche bag.
472
00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:39,752
♪ It seems today ♪
473
00:19:39,904 --> 00:19:41,995
♪ That all you see ♪
474
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:44,590
♪ Is the violence in movies ♪
475
00:19:44,759 --> 00:19:47,685
♪ And hon-hon-hon on TV ♪
476
00:19:47,836 --> 00:19:51,931
♪ Lucky there's a family "gi." ♪
477
00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:54,192
♪ ♪
478
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:04,035
I'm sorry
you broke your leg, Lois.
479
00:20:04,204 --> 00:20:06,595
Oh, no, Peter,
I'm the one who's sorry.
480
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:10,433
I got so wrapped up trying to
beat Bonnie at stupid Instagram
481
00:20:10,451 --> 00:20:12,543
that I ruined our whole weekend.
482
00:20:13,287 --> 00:20:14,528
ANNOUNCER:
I don't believe it.
483
00:20:14,697 --> 00:20:17,548
Tristan Wyndcroft is checking in
for Syracuse.
484
00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,258
With a broken leg?!
485
00:20:20,278 --> 00:20:22,127
I know. What was I thinking?
486
00:20:22,204 --> 00:20:24,797
And the irony is
she still has the record.
487
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:27,541
I guess we should probably take
an Instagram break
488
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:28,542
for a bit, huh?
489
00:20:28,636 --> 00:20:30,135
Probably.
490
00:20:30,288 --> 00:20:33,105
Can I check something
on our bank account real quick?
491
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:35,641
Uh, Lois?
492
00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:37,235
You may want to see this.
493
00:20:40,556 --> 00:20:41,814
Ah! Break's over!
494
00:20:41,966 --> 00:20:43,241
Eat that, Bonnie!
495
00:20:43,468 --> 00:20:45,892
Oh, Peter, now that I have
more likes than Bonnie,
496
00:20:45,987 --> 00:20:49,305
I realize that this was
the best weekend ever.
497
00:20:50,232 --> 00:20:52,065
ANNOUNCER: Wyndcroft scores
with no time left!
498
00:20:52,159 --> 00:20:53,400
Syracuse wins!
499
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:55,402
(inhales sharply)
Man, Lois,
500
00:20:55,496 --> 00:20:59,674
you were saying some crazy stuff
about Bet Kings during surgery.
34078
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