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♪♪ [We're Gonna Get Married
by Randy Newman playing]
2
00:00:08,004 --> 00:00:11,701
♪ Into life today
came something beautiful ♪
3
00:00:11,774 --> 00:00:15,608
♪ Someone who loved me
much as I love her ♪
4
00:00:16,646 --> 00:00:18,841
♪ There have been trials
and tribulations ♪
5
00:00:19,449 --> 00:00:21,474
♪ And not just a few ♪
6
00:00:21,651 --> 00:00:23,642
♪ But we made it through ♪
7
00:00:24,053 --> 00:00:26,953
♪ And now the times are here ♪
8
00:00:28,624 --> 00:00:30,592
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
9
00:00:31,293 --> 00:00:32,885
♪ Have everything ♪
10
00:00:35,364 --> 00:00:37,093
♪ But the sun ♪
11
00:00:38,467 --> 00:00:40,230
♪ And the rain ♪
12
00:00:40,302 --> 00:00:43,135
♪ We're a definite combination ♪
13
00:00:43,438 --> 00:00:45,429
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
14
00:00:45,641 --> 00:00:46,972
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
15
00:00:47,042 --> 00:00:49,839
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
16
00:00:50,678 --> 00:00:52,475
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
17
00:00:52,547 --> 00:00:54,481
♪ Wait and see ♪
18
00:00:58,986 --> 00:01:00,010
[grunting]
19
00:01:00,087 --> 00:01:02,453
You must do something!
Baby is coming!
20
00:01:02,523 --> 00:01:03,717
Yeah. I know baby is coming!
21
00:01:03,791 --> 00:01:06,259
Miss, you've to stay calm
and take deep breaths, okay?
22
00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:08,295
Myra, I need a doctor here
right now.
23
00:01:08,362 --> 00:01:09,624
I am working on it.
24
00:01:09,697 --> 00:01:10,959
You're not a doctor?
25
00:01:11,032 --> 00:01:12,055
No, I am a nurse.
26
00:01:12,132 --> 00:01:13,793
You are man and you are nurse?
27
00:01:13,867 --> 00:01:15,698
What kind of man is nurse?
28
00:01:15,769 --> 00:01:17,964
Look, folks,
I'm a professional, okay?
29
00:01:18,038 --> 00:01:20,063
I know exactly what I'm doing,
so just trust me,
30
00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:22,005
everything's going to be fine,
all right?
31
00:01:22,075 --> 00:01:23,133
Okay.
Yeah.
32
00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:24,642
Yeah. You're fully dilated.
33
00:01:24,711 --> 00:01:26,804
Hey, I need that doctor
right now.
34
00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:28,245
There are no free doctors.
35
00:01:28,315 --> 00:01:30,545
Nurse, you're gonna have
to deliver that baby yourself.
36
00:01:30,617 --> 00:01:32,778
I can see the head!
37
00:01:33,353 --> 00:01:34,876
Holy shit!
38
00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:37,219
[Screaming]
39
00:01:42,027 --> 00:01:43,517
Check it out.
40
00:01:43,596 --> 00:01:44,688
We did it.
41
00:01:45,764 --> 00:01:47,322
We had a boy.
42
00:01:48,434 --> 00:01:50,732
A boy. You are my hero.
43
00:01:50,803 --> 00:01:51,895
Mmm-hmm.
44
00:01:51,971 --> 00:01:53,563
I name baby for you.
45
00:01:53,639 --> 00:01:55,504
Oh! You don't have to do that.
46
00:01:56,141 --> 00:01:57,971
Yeah. I must.
It is Latvian tradition.
47
00:01:58,042 --> 00:01:59,839
We'll name the baby...
48
00:02:01,946 --> 00:02:03,004
[grunting]
49
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(Bernie on machine) Hello,
you've reached the Fockers.
50
00:02:13,191 --> 00:02:16,126
We're not around, so leave
us a message. Goodbye.
51
00:02:16,194 --> 00:02:18,889
Roz, how the hell
do you shut this thing off?
52
00:02:18,962 --> 00:02:20,987
(Roz on machine) I have no
idea. Just press a button.
53
00:02:21,064 --> 00:02:22,895
(Bernie)
I'm pretty sure it's off.
54
00:02:22,966 --> 00:02:24,399
Honey, you want a chimichanga?
55
00:02:24,468 --> 00:02:26,231
(Roz)
I thought they gave you gas.
56
00:02:26,303 --> 00:02:28,032
A little bit, but it's worth it.
57
00:02:28,105 --> 00:02:30,369
Worth it for you, but I'm
the one that gets the fumes.
58
00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:32,203
Honey, I'm in the mood
for a chimichanga.
59
00:02:32,275 --> 00:02:33,333
So make a...
60
00:02:33,410 --> 00:02:34,434
[beeping]
61
00:02:34,511 --> 00:02:35,603
Hi, guys, it's me.
62
00:02:35,679 --> 00:02:37,044
Dad, I told you six months ago
63
00:02:37,114 --> 00:02:38,706
you have to change that message.
64
00:02:38,782 --> 00:02:40,477
Anyway, I'm just calling
to double check
65
00:02:40,550 --> 00:02:41,982
'cause I didn't hear
back from you.
66
00:02:42,051 --> 00:02:44,542
You know that Pam and I are
flying out to Oyster Bay today.
67
00:02:44,620 --> 00:02:47,145
And, then, we're flying to
Miami tomorrow with the Byrneses.
68
00:02:47,223 --> 00:02:48,485
And our flight gets in 7:30,
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00:02:48,557 --> 00:02:50,320
so we should be
at the house around 9:00.
70
00:02:50,393 --> 00:02:52,327
So just give me a call
back on my cell, okay?
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00:02:52,395 --> 00:02:53,953
'Cause I want to go over
a few things
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00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:56,225
about Pam's dad and just, uh,
73
00:02:56,298 --> 00:02:57,993
just some other stuff
for the weekend.
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00:02:58,067 --> 00:02:59,864
All right. I Love you, bye.
Hey!
75
00:02:59,935 --> 00:03:01,835
Hey, sweetie.
How was your shift?
76
00:03:01,904 --> 00:03:03,303
Oh! Guess what?
What?
77
00:03:03,838 --> 00:03:05,271
I delivered my first baby.
78
00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:06,398
[Gasps]
No way.
79
00:03:06,474 --> 00:03:07,463
Mmm. Yeah.
80
00:03:07,542 --> 00:03:08,770
Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you.
81
00:03:08,843 --> 00:03:10,242
It was incredible.
I mean, just...
82
00:03:10,311 --> 00:03:12,006
Just to be pulling
this Life force
83
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:13,570
out of this woman's...
84
00:03:13,648 --> 00:03:16,116
You know, I mean,
it was just so... It was...
85
00:03:16,184 --> 00:03:19,119
The whole baby thing is...
It's so cool.
86
00:03:19,187 --> 00:03:20,984
That's great, honey.
That's great.
87
00:03:21,056 --> 00:03:23,650
So, uh, are you ready to go? I
want to get to the airport early.
88
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:24,919
I know.
Just give me a second.
89
00:03:24,993 --> 00:03:26,653
You know how things
always goes wrong.
90
00:03:26,727 --> 00:03:28,024
The flight leaves in four hours.
91
00:03:28,095 --> 00:03:29,494
I wish we could set
a wedding date
92
00:03:29,563 --> 00:03:31,463
without our parents
actually having to meet.
93
00:03:31,532 --> 00:03:33,159
Honey, this weekend
is gonna be fine.
94
00:03:33,233 --> 00:03:34,894
And your parents are great.
95
00:03:34,968 --> 00:03:36,595
Oh, they're great
in small doses.
96
00:03:36,670 --> 00:03:39,230
Well, 48 hours in Coconut
Grove is a small dose.
97
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,331
Besides, you've already
won over my dad,
98
00:03:41,408 --> 00:03:42,841
and that is the hard part.
99
00:03:42,910 --> 00:03:44,309
Mmm. That is true.
100
00:03:44,378 --> 00:03:47,313
I mean, I am still in the Byrnes
family circle of trust, right?
101
00:03:47,381 --> 00:03:48,575
You're firmly in the circle.
102
00:03:48,648 --> 00:03:49,637
[Chuckling]
103
00:03:50,216 --> 00:03:51,274
Finally.
104
00:03:52,518 --> 00:03:53,712
Oh, taxi!
105
00:03:53,786 --> 00:03:55,447
♪ All the time ♪
106
00:03:56,789 --> 00:03:59,622
♪ As we go walking by ♪
107
00:03:59,959 --> 00:04:01,187
Going to the airport?
108
00:04:01,260 --> 00:04:02,284
Yeah.
109
00:04:02,361 --> 00:04:03,350
Take mine.
110
00:04:05,164 --> 00:04:06,290
Great.
111
00:04:06,833 --> 00:04:09,028
♪ It's all right ♪
112
00:04:10,470 --> 00:04:11,993
Nice guy.
Yeah.
113
00:04:12,571 --> 00:04:14,562
♪ Hold you tight ♪
114
00:04:17,175 --> 00:04:18,972
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
115
00:04:19,211 --> 00:04:21,805
♪ Take her hand in mine ♪
116
00:04:22,781 --> 00:04:24,976
♪ We'll be looking fine ♪
117
00:04:26,251 --> 00:04:28,412
♪ In the sweet sunshine ♪
118
00:04:30,422 --> 00:04:31,855
You two, you're up.
119
00:04:34,258 --> 00:04:36,317
♪ Please don't leave ♪
120
00:04:37,962 --> 00:04:40,522
♪ All those
who love us to be there ♪
121
00:04:40,598 --> 00:04:44,056
♪ One great big happy family ♪
122
00:04:45,002 --> 00:04:46,902
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
123
00:04:48,506 --> 00:04:50,303
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
124
00:04:51,909 --> 00:04:53,536
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
125
00:04:53,611 --> 00:04:55,078
♪ Wait and see ♪
126
00:04:56,579 --> 00:04:57,637
Oh, dear.
127
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:58,738
What?
128
00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,606
Well, they overbooked coach.
129
00:05:01,417 --> 00:05:02,441
[Sighing]
130
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:03,713
So what does that mean?
131
00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:04,981
Do we miss our flight or...
132
00:05:05,054 --> 00:05:08,956
Well, we are gonna have to
upgrade you to first class.
133
00:05:09,025 --> 00:05:10,151
Really?
134
00:05:10,627 --> 00:05:11,753
[Chuckling]
135
00:05:11,828 --> 00:05:12,817
Thank you.
136
00:05:12,896 --> 00:05:13,988
[Grunting]
137
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,965
Oh! Sir, why don't you
let me take that for you?
138
00:05:20,269 --> 00:05:21,531
Okay, yeah.
139
00:05:21,837 --> 00:05:25,136
So, uh, you wanna check it
or put it on another flight
140
00:05:25,207 --> 00:05:27,107
'cause that's cool,
whatever you want to do.
141
00:05:27,176 --> 00:05:29,906
I'm just gonna store it
in the Captain's closet.
142
00:05:31,513 --> 00:05:32,639
That was nice.
143
00:05:32,714 --> 00:05:33,806
Yeah.
144
00:05:34,449 --> 00:05:35,507
Champagne?
145
00:05:35,584 --> 00:05:36,573
Thank you.
146
00:05:36,652 --> 00:05:37,778
Champagne, sir?
147
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,080
Thank you.
148
00:05:39,555 --> 00:05:40,613
Enjoy.
149
00:05:41,722 --> 00:05:43,747
♪ We'll be looking fine ♪
150
00:05:45,259 --> 00:05:47,454
♪ In the sweet sunshine ♪
151
00:05:49,197 --> 00:05:52,633
Would you like to purchase
rental insurance, Mr. Focker?
152
00:05:52,934 --> 00:05:53,923
Um...
153
00:05:54,368 --> 00:05:56,529
No. Thanks.
154
00:05:57,371 --> 00:05:58,360
No?
155
00:05:58,439 --> 00:05:59,565
[Whispering]
It's a scam.
156
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,608
That's how they
make all their money.
157
00:06:01,676 --> 00:06:03,666
That's true.
You don't need it.
158
00:06:04,578 --> 00:06:06,136
Get out of here.
159
00:06:07,113 --> 00:06:08,876
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
160
00:06:10,884 --> 00:06:12,511
♪ We're gonna get married ♪
161
00:06:12,586 --> 00:06:14,178
♪ Wait and see ♪♪
162
00:06:20,393 --> 00:06:22,156
The House of Byrnes.
163
00:06:23,663 --> 00:06:25,426
Lot of good memories here.
164
00:06:27,266 --> 00:06:28,699
Mom? Dad?
165
00:06:30,669 --> 00:06:32,398
I am watching you.
166
00:06:33,572 --> 00:06:34,596
[Gurgling]
167
00:06:34,673 --> 00:06:35,970
Well, almost,
168
00:06:37,209 --> 00:06:39,006
but you have to do it
with two fingers.
169
00:06:39,078 --> 00:06:41,069
One on each eye like this:
170
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,214
I am watching you.
171
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:44,509
[Gurgling]
172
00:06:44,717 --> 00:06:46,116
We'll get back to that later.
173
00:06:46,185 --> 00:06:47,584
Guess who's here?
174
00:06:48,020 --> 00:06:50,886
It's Prof. Einstein.
175
00:06:50,955 --> 00:06:52,320
Hi, Little Jack.
176
00:06:52,390 --> 00:06:53,482
You're a genius.
177
00:06:53,558 --> 00:06:55,287
I see a Nobel Prize
in your future.
178
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:56,657
Yes, I do.
179
00:06:56,728 --> 00:06:59,390
Study break, boys.
Company's here.
180
00:07:00,198 --> 00:07:01,256
Pamcake!
181
00:07:01,332 --> 00:07:02,663
Flapjack!
182
00:07:03,801 --> 00:07:04,825
[Chuckling]
183
00:07:04,903 --> 00:07:06,803
(both) Shortstack, shortstack coming up!
184
00:07:06,871 --> 00:07:09,101
Put some syrup in the cup.
185
00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:12,902
Pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa.
186
00:07:14,978 --> 00:07:16,502
That's how it goes, right?
187
00:07:17,180 --> 00:07:18,647
That's okay, Greg.
188
00:07:19,516 --> 00:07:21,143
Nice to see you.
Yes.
189
00:07:21,418 --> 00:07:23,545
Nice to see you, Grandpa.
190
00:07:23,987 --> 00:07:25,147
[Little Jack gurgling]
191
00:07:25,222 --> 00:07:27,087
My God.
How did my nephew get so big?
192
00:07:27,157 --> 00:07:28,522
Look at you.
193
00:07:28,592 --> 00:07:29,820
You look just like your mommy.
194
00:07:30,527 --> 00:07:31,721
(Greg)
He does, doesn't he?
195
00:07:31,795 --> 00:07:33,921
Hey. Hey. This is Greg.
196
00:07:33,996 --> 00:07:35,361
Remember we talked about him?
197
00:07:35,464 --> 00:07:36,453
(Greg)
Hey.
198
00:07:39,802 --> 00:07:41,326
[Chuckling]
199
00:07:42,605 --> 00:07:43,833
Sorry, Greg.
200
00:07:43,906 --> 00:07:45,635
The card only
comes in one gender.
201
00:07:45,708 --> 00:07:47,972
Oh! Yeah.
Now, that's... that's all right.
202
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,199
[Little Jack gurgles]
203
00:07:49,345 --> 00:07:50,903
(Jack)
He's taking you in.
204
00:07:51,047 --> 00:07:53,277
He has a very keen sense
for people, Greg.
205
00:07:53,349 --> 00:07:54,338
Mmm.
206
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:57,075
He's a chip
off the old block, huh?
207
00:07:57,152 --> 00:07:59,620
We might have another CIA man
on our hands here.
208
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:01,918
I'd be discreet about my
profession, Greg, if I were you.
209
00:08:01,990 --> 00:08:03,014
You know what I mean?
210
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:05,821
As far as your parents are
concerned, I'm still a horticulturist.
211
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:07,293
Hey, why is Little Jack here?
212
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,660
Are Deb and Bob house-sitting,
while we're in Florida?
213
00:08:09,731 --> 00:08:11,198
No, they're in Ko Saimii,
Thailand.
214
00:08:11,266 --> 00:08:13,632
Checking on the clinic they
opened during their honeymoon.
215
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:15,966
[Chuckling] What is
all this stuff, anyway?
216
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:18,630
After Denny was
sent away to military school,
217
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,867
your father turned this
into a learning laboratory
218
00:08:20,941 --> 00:08:22,431
for you-know-who over there.
219
00:08:22,509 --> 00:08:25,103
And do you talk yet,
Mr. Munchkinhead?
220
00:08:25,212 --> 00:08:26,941
[Babbling]
221
00:08:31,585 --> 00:08:34,679
Greg, Greg, Greg. Don't infantilize
him. Talk to him like an adult.
222
00:08:34,755 --> 00:08:35,847
(Dina)
Muskrat.
223
00:08:35,923 --> 00:08:36,890
Huh?
224
00:08:36,957 --> 00:08:38,584
Muskrat, Jack.
All right.
225
00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:39,819
[Chuckling]
226
00:08:39,893 --> 00:08:41,917
Just try to understand
he's a little person.
227
00:08:41,995 --> 00:08:43,929
His communication skills
aren't verbal yet,
228
00:08:43,997 --> 00:08:46,124
but he understands.
Observe.
229
00:08:47,100 --> 00:08:49,091
L.J., are you hungry?
230
00:08:51,037 --> 00:08:52,231
Oh, wow.
231
00:08:53,406 --> 00:08:55,271
[Mumbling]
232
00:08:55,441 --> 00:08:57,033
(Greg)
Look at that.
233
00:08:57,577 --> 00:09:01,536
"I would like to
eat more please."
234
00:09:02,915 --> 00:09:04,643
"I'd like a nap,
235
00:09:04,783 --> 00:09:07,343
and then later
I'll enjoy a nice poop."
236
00:09:09,388 --> 00:09:10,446
[Spluttering]
237
00:09:12,224 --> 00:09:14,715
Oh, yeah. I've heard about
this, this baby signing stuff.
238
00:09:14,793 --> 00:09:17,227
This is like cutting edge.
Like... Yeah.
239
00:09:17,529 --> 00:09:20,225
Well, at this age, Greg,
his mind is like a sponge.
240
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:22,391
Look, when he reaches
your age, for example,
241
00:09:22,467 --> 00:09:24,128
his mind will be
far less capable
242
00:09:24,202 --> 00:09:25,862
of absorbing useful information.
243
00:09:25,936 --> 00:09:28,063
So cute.
Hey, can I hold him?
244
00:09:28,372 --> 00:09:30,863
Oh, I... I don't think
that's such a good idea, Greg.
245
00:09:30,941 --> 00:09:32,169
Muskrat.
246
00:09:32,443 --> 00:09:33,432
Uh...
247
00:09:34,412 --> 00:09:36,277
All right, all right.
248
00:09:36,914 --> 00:09:38,040
This is Greg.
249
00:09:38,115 --> 00:09:40,413
Greg will not drop you, okay?
250
00:09:41,619 --> 00:09:43,780
Okay.
Be careful.
251
00:09:43,854 --> 00:09:45,822
Hello. Oh! Hello.
252
00:09:46,690 --> 00:09:47,679
Hey.
253
00:09:48,558 --> 00:09:50,116
I think he likes me.
254
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:51,984
No?
255
00:09:52,062 --> 00:09:53,051
Ow!
256
00:09:53,296 --> 00:09:54,354
Oh, shit!
257
00:09:54,431 --> 00:09:55,557
[Little Jack wailing]
258
00:09:55,632 --> 00:09:57,759
Focker. He's absorbing
you like a sponge.
259
00:09:57,834 --> 00:09:59,768
I don't want the first word
out of his mouth
260
00:09:59,836 --> 00:10:00,962
to be a profanity.
261
00:10:01,037 --> 00:10:02,561
It's okay. It's okay.
262
00:10:02,639 --> 00:10:04,869
Cover your nose.
You're terrifying him.
263
00:10:04,941 --> 00:10:05,965
Focker!
264
00:10:06,042 --> 00:10:07,304
[Wailing]
265
00:10:07,577 --> 00:10:09,807
It's cool that your dad is
so into being a grandparent.
266
00:10:09,879 --> 00:10:11,869
Yeah, I guess so.
It kinda freaks my mom out.
267
00:10:11,947 --> 00:10:13,972
She says he spends every
last second with that kid.
268
00:10:14,049 --> 00:10:15,710
[Horn honking]
269
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:17,952
Oh, my God.
270
00:10:19,788 --> 00:10:20,777
Daddy?
271
00:10:20,923 --> 00:10:21,912
(Greg)
Wow.
272
00:10:22,257 --> 00:10:24,191
Daddy, what is this thing?
273
00:10:24,259 --> 00:10:25,487
It's a custom-designed,
274
00:10:25,561 --> 00:10:26,994
climate-controlled motor coach.
275
00:10:27,062 --> 00:10:29,587
Jack calls it the
Highlight of our Twilight.
276
00:10:32,301 --> 00:10:33,358
Wow. This is incredible.
277
00:10:33,434 --> 00:10:34,492
Isn't it?
278
00:10:34,569 --> 00:10:35,536
Yeah.
279
00:10:35,603 --> 00:10:36,900
[Knocking on truck]
280
00:10:37,405 --> 00:10:38,531
Ooh! Like a tank.
281
00:10:39,107 --> 00:10:40,870
Well, in these
uncertain times, Greg,
282
00:10:40,942 --> 00:10:43,274
I opted for
a Kevlar-reinforced hull
283
00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:45,778
with two-inch thick
plexiglas windows,
284
00:10:45,847 --> 00:10:47,371
just like
the ones they design on
285
00:10:47,448 --> 00:10:49,609
the Russian Widowmaker
submarines.
286
00:10:49,684 --> 00:10:52,118
I want you to conduct
a field test for us, Greg.
287
00:10:52,186 --> 00:10:54,620
I want you to demonstrate
288
00:10:54,689 --> 00:10:56,553
the impregnable outer skin
of the coach.
289
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:57,954
Throw it at the window.
290
00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:59,048
Oh.
291
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,250
Jack, I'm not gonna...
292
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,192
I'm not gonna throw a brick
at your window.
293
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,456
It's a simple demonstration.
294
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,521
No, I'd... I'd really
rather not. Throw the brick.
295
00:11:05,599 --> 00:11:06,623
Okay.
Great.
296
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:07,724
Just...
297
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:08,825
All your might.
298
00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,028
All right.
299
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,972
Don't worry, your rental
insurance should take care of it.
300
00:11:19,044 --> 00:11:20,773
(Pam)
You all right? What happened?
301
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:21,870
Come on,
302
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:23,972
we'll call a tow truck
from the road.
303
00:11:24,049 --> 00:11:25,311
Road?
304
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,616
Yeah.
We're driving this to Miami.
305
00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:30,177
I thought we were... I thought
we were, we're flying tomorrow.
306
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,747
No, No. Airline travel
being what it is these days,
307
00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:34,190
so unreliable,
308
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,750
I'll feel much more comfortable
309
00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:38,023
knowing I have my own
Posturepedic bed,
310
00:11:38,097 --> 00:11:40,690
my own thermostat,
my own lavatory facility.
311
00:11:40,765 --> 00:11:43,859
Uh-huh. So... so we're all
going to be in this together?
312
00:11:43,935 --> 00:11:45,869
We hit the road
in exactly seven minutes,
313
00:11:45,937 --> 00:11:47,700
27 seconds.
314
00:11:47,805 --> 00:11:49,272
This way we'll get in early,
315
00:11:49,340 --> 00:11:51,103
spend an extra half day
with your parents,
316
00:11:51,176 --> 00:11:52,404
getting to know them.
317
00:11:52,477 --> 00:11:53,774
Isn't that great?
318
00:11:53,845 --> 00:11:55,039
That is great.
319
00:11:55,113 --> 00:11:57,445
(Roz) Worth it for you but I'm
the one that gets the fumes.
320
00:11:57,515 --> 00:11:59,540
(Bernie) Honey, I'm in
the mood for a chimichanga.
321
00:11:59,617 --> 00:12:00,709
(Roz)
So make a...
322
00:12:00,785 --> 00:12:01,843
[answering machine beeping]
323
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,386
Hey, guys, uh, it's me.
324
00:12:03,453 --> 00:12:06,286
Listen, I'm getting a little worried.
I haven't heard back from you.
325
00:12:06,356 --> 00:12:09,052
Hope you got the message. There's
been a little change of plans.
326
00:12:09,126 --> 00:12:11,822
We're gonna be, uh,
coming down in Jack's RV now,
327
00:12:11,895 --> 00:12:13,795
so we'll be arriving
tomorrow afternoon,
328
00:12:13,864 --> 00:12:15,422
not tomorrow night.
329
00:12:15,499 --> 00:12:17,057
Okay? Tomorrow afternoon.
330
00:12:17,134 --> 00:12:18,260
And, also, uh,
331
00:12:18,335 --> 00:12:19,996
they're bringing
their little grandson,
332
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:21,833
so, uh, he's like a baby.
333
00:12:21,905 --> 00:12:23,463
So... I don't know.
334
00:12:25,175 --> 00:12:27,404
Oh, welcome aboard, me hearties.
335
00:12:27,476 --> 00:12:29,034
Hey, this is incredible.
336
00:12:29,111 --> 00:12:30,806
Yes, it's as big
as our apartment.
337
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,279
Pretty neat, huh?
338
00:12:32,348 --> 00:12:33,610
[Toilet flushing]
339
00:12:33,683 --> 00:12:35,116
[meowing]
340
00:12:35,718 --> 00:12:36,776
Hey!
341
00:12:36,852 --> 00:12:39,480
Mr. Jinx finally learned
how to flush the toilet, huh?
342
00:12:39,555 --> 00:12:41,318
Yeah. Jack installed
a special flusher,
343
00:12:41,390 --> 00:12:43,483
and he learnt how to do that
in about two days.
344
00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:44,617
Right, Jack?
345
00:12:44,694 --> 00:12:46,594
Hey there, Jinxy.
How you doing?
346
00:12:46,662 --> 00:12:48,288
[Meowing]
347
00:12:50,999 --> 00:12:53,399
Ready to hit the road,
Co-Captain?
348
00:12:54,102 --> 00:12:56,161
Wow! I'm the Co-Captain?
349
00:12:56,271 --> 00:12:57,670
Let's set sail, sailor.
350
00:12:57,739 --> 00:12:59,832
♪♪ [Going Up the Country
by Canned Heat playing]
351
00:12:59,908 --> 00:13:02,274
♪ I'm going up the country
babe don't you wanna go ♪
352
00:13:02,344 --> 00:13:04,175
(Jack) Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.
353
00:13:04,246 --> 00:13:05,770
This is
Captain Jack Byrnes speaking.
354
00:13:05,847 --> 00:13:07,041
Yeah, Daddy!
355
00:13:07,115 --> 00:13:08,742
(Jack)
A quick announcement.
356
00:13:08,817 --> 00:13:10,909
As a courtesy
to your fellow passengers,
357
00:13:10,985 --> 00:13:13,044
please remember
that the on board lavatory
358
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,747
should be used
for number one only.
359
00:13:14,822 --> 00:13:16,722
Should the need
for number two arise,
360
00:13:16,790 --> 00:13:18,815
we'll stop at the nearest
rest stop, gas station,
361
00:13:18,892 --> 00:13:20,120
or heavily wooded area.
362
00:13:20,194 --> 00:13:21,957
Thank you. Welcome aboard.
363
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:24,292
I like that thing.
Hey, do you mind if I, uh,
364
00:13:24,365 --> 00:13:26,162
make a little announcement?
365
00:13:26,233 --> 00:13:27,359
Well...
366
00:13:27,434 --> 00:13:30,198
Only the captain gets
to make an announcement.
367
00:13:31,739 --> 00:13:33,228
You want to honk the horn?
368
00:13:33,306 --> 00:13:35,137
Um... Sure.
369
00:13:36,042 --> 00:13:38,476
Only the captain gets
to honk the horn.
370
00:13:38,544 --> 00:13:40,409
♪ I'm gonna leave this city ♪
371
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,176
♪ Got to get away ♪
372
00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:45,778
♪ All this fussing
And fighting ♪
373
00:13:45,852 --> 00:13:47,012
Oh, look!
374
00:13:47,186 --> 00:13:49,120
(Greg)
Hey, Jinxy, see that?
375
00:13:49,822 --> 00:13:51,551
♪ Now, baby,
pack your leaving trunk ♪
376
00:13:51,624 --> 00:13:53,888
♪ You know
we've got to leave today ♪
377
00:13:54,694 --> 00:13:56,752
(Pam) You hungry? Do you want some milk?
378
00:13:56,828 --> 00:14:00,286
♪ But we might
even leave the USA ♪
379
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,324
Hey! Jack?
380
00:14:04,136 --> 00:14:06,502
(Greg) Oh, she wants
you to honk the horn.
381
00:14:06,571 --> 00:14:07,697
Not interested.
382
00:14:07,773 --> 00:14:09,741
Rules of the road.
She honks, you honk.
383
00:14:10,776 --> 00:14:12,869
(Greg) Come on, Jack.
Come on. Give her a honk.
384
00:14:12,944 --> 00:14:14,070
[Honking]
385
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:15,374
There you go.
386
00:14:15,447 --> 00:14:16,937
[Whooping]
387
00:14:17,015 --> 00:14:18,106
[girls yelling]
388
00:14:18,182 --> 00:14:20,207
(Greg)
It's like a team or something.
389
00:14:20,284 --> 00:14:21,581
"Honk if your are horny."
390
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,313
[Girls yelling]
391
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:25,815
[gasping]
392
00:14:28,092 --> 00:14:29,081
Oh!
393
00:14:29,860 --> 00:14:31,259
Thanks for that, Greg.
394
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,160
♪ 'Cause you've got a home ♪
395
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,858
♪ As long as I've got mine ♪♪
396
00:14:39,103 --> 00:14:40,535
(Roz) ...for you but I'm
the one that gets the fumes.
397
00:14:40,603 --> 00:14:42,833
(Bernie) Honey, I'm in
the mood for a chimichanga.
398
00:14:42,906 --> 00:14:44,032
(Roz)
So make a...
399
00:14:44,107 --> 00:14:45,506
[answering machine beeping]
400
00:14:48,144 --> 00:14:49,611
[Little Jack cooing]
401
00:14:49,813 --> 00:14:51,007
Hey, there.
402
00:14:51,915 --> 00:14:53,439
No hard feelings, all right?
403
00:14:53,516 --> 00:14:54,642
[Little Jack gurgling]
404
00:14:54,718 --> 00:14:57,312
Friends? What's that?
405
00:14:57,454 --> 00:14:58,751
What're you saying?
406
00:14:58,822 --> 00:15:00,847
Now, wait a minute.
What does this mean?
407
00:15:00,924 --> 00:15:02,516
I know what this means.
408
00:15:02,592 --> 00:15:04,889
Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.
Oh, poop!
409
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,791
You got to poop, right?
Okay, good.
410
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:07,920
Thank you for warning me.
411
00:15:07,996 --> 00:15:09,725
Everybody poops.
Sometimes it hurts.
412
00:15:09,798 --> 00:15:11,766
It's okay.
Just let it come out.
413
00:15:11,834 --> 00:15:12,823
[Wailing]
414
00:15:13,268 --> 00:15:14,667
What did you do, Focker?
415
00:15:14,737 --> 00:15:16,705
Nothing. He...
I think he has to poop.
416
00:15:16,772 --> 00:15:18,433
That's not the sign for poop.
417
00:15:18,507 --> 00:15:19,872
That's the sign for milk.
418
00:15:19,942 --> 00:15:21,432
This is the sign for poop.
419
00:15:21,510 --> 00:15:23,239
Oh! What's the sign
for sour milk?
420
00:15:23,312 --> 00:15:24,904
'Cause, uh
this tastes a little funky.
421
00:15:24,980 --> 00:15:27,379
That's because it's from
Debbie's left breast, Greg.
422
00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:28,574
[Gagging]
423
00:15:28,649 --> 00:15:30,082
[laughing]
424
00:15:31,386 --> 00:15:32,375
Ew.
425
00:15:32,687 --> 00:15:34,177
Fortunately,
she pumped for a week
426
00:15:34,255 --> 00:15:36,018
to give us enough for the trip.
427
00:15:36,090 --> 00:15:38,422
Okay,
snack pack for Little Jack.
428
00:15:38,693 --> 00:15:40,160
(Greg)
What are you doing there?
429
00:15:40,228 --> 00:15:42,287
Well, during
the breastfeeding stage, Greg,
430
00:15:42,363 --> 00:15:44,228
infants can get
very confused and upset
431
00:15:44,298 --> 00:15:46,163
when they're separated
from their mothers.
432
00:15:46,234 --> 00:15:47,791
So I invented something
433
00:15:47,868 --> 00:15:50,496
to ease I J's anxiety
during chow time.
434
00:15:53,106 --> 00:15:54,903
I call it the Mannary Gland.
435
00:15:56,243 --> 00:15:58,108
I had it made from an exact cast
436
00:15:58,211 --> 00:15:59,508
of Debbie's left bosom.
437
00:15:59,579 --> 00:16:00,807
[Gurgling]
438
00:16:02,315 --> 00:16:03,680
Oh, yeah. Okay.
439
00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:05,149
It's been so effective,
440
00:16:05,218 --> 00:16:07,516
I'm thinking of
getting it patented.
441
00:16:07,754 --> 00:16:09,244
Would you like to touch it?
442
00:16:09,322 --> 00:16:10,549
Uh, I wouldn't.
443
00:16:10,623 --> 00:16:12,022
Oh, come on,
feel how soft it is.
444
00:16:12,091 --> 00:16:13,991
I can... I can see
how soft it is from here.
445
00:16:14,059 --> 00:16:15,083
No, feel it, Greg.
446
00:16:15,161 --> 00:16:16,560
It's very... It looks very...
447
00:16:16,629 --> 00:16:18,392
Just feel the breast, Greg.
448
00:16:21,066 --> 00:16:22,090
Just a...
449
00:16:22,168 --> 00:16:24,159
Oh, watch the nipple.
Just around here.
450
00:16:24,236 --> 00:16:25,635
Nipple is his.
451
00:16:28,607 --> 00:16:29,869
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
452
00:16:30,242 --> 00:16:33,176
It's got a great, lifelike,
and a...
453
00:16:33,244 --> 00:16:34,802
Or what I would imagine
454
00:16:34,879 --> 00:16:37,006
Debbie's breast might... might
actually feel like.
455
00:16:37,081 --> 00:16:38,912
Not that I would know.
456
00:16:40,819 --> 00:16:41,808
[Chattering]
457
00:16:43,455 --> 00:16:44,683
(Pam)
Greg.
458
00:16:47,158 --> 00:16:48,250
What?
459
00:16:49,394 --> 00:16:50,520
Honey, you promised
460
00:16:50,595 --> 00:16:53,155
you wouldn't take the boob out
in front of company.
461
00:16:53,231 --> 00:16:54,755
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
462
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:56,424
Breast-feeding is
perfectly natural.
463
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:59,492
Dad, that's not natural,
that's just weird.
464
00:17:00,704 --> 00:17:02,331
As soon as
Little Jack's topped off,
465
00:17:02,406 --> 00:17:04,033
we're gonna hit the road.
466
00:17:04,141 --> 00:17:05,130
Oh!
467
00:17:05,242 --> 00:17:06,504
Oh, Jack,
468
00:17:06,577 --> 00:17:08,306
you can't drive
any more tonight.
469
00:17:08,378 --> 00:17:11,745
Dr. Monroe said
no aggravating your sciatica.
470
00:17:11,815 --> 00:17:13,783
Honey, we're on a very
precise schedule.
471
00:17:13,851 --> 00:17:14,977
We bunk here tonight,
472
00:17:15,052 --> 00:17:17,282
we hit horrendous traffic
in the morning.
473
00:17:17,354 --> 00:17:18,752
[Little Jack whining]
474
00:17:19,155 --> 00:17:20,144
Greg?
475
00:17:20,223 --> 00:17:21,212
Yeah.
476
00:17:21,324 --> 00:17:23,258
Maybe you could drive
the night shift.
477
00:17:23,326 --> 00:17:24,520
I could do that.
478
00:17:24,594 --> 00:17:27,358
I am the Co-Captain.
So, I think that falls
479
00:17:27,430 --> 00:17:30,092
under my responsibilities, right? Yeah.
480
00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:32,100
Keep her at 55, stay alert.
481
00:17:32,168 --> 00:17:35,433
Yeah, yeah. I've been wanting to
get behind the wheel of this big boy.
482
00:17:35,505 --> 00:17:36,995
[Horn honking]
483
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:39,865
[cars honking]
484
00:17:40,909 --> 00:17:42,604
You got it. Pass.
485
00:17:42,711 --> 00:17:44,736
[Horns honking]
486
00:17:45,747 --> 00:17:47,612
Sorry, got to go 55.
487
00:17:47,682 --> 00:17:49,479
Captain Jack's orders.
488
00:17:51,586 --> 00:17:52,575
Hmm.
489
00:18:03,797 --> 00:18:04,786
[Door beeping]
490
00:18:06,767 --> 00:18:07,791
Hey!
491
00:18:07,868 --> 00:18:09,597
Would you like
some company, Greg?
492
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:11,001
Uh, yeah, sure.
493
00:18:11,071 --> 00:18:13,232
If you can't sleep.
Go on. Have a seat.
494
00:18:14,808 --> 00:18:15,968
[Door beeping]
495
00:18:23,217 --> 00:18:24,808
How about a cappuccino?
496
00:18:25,184 --> 00:18:27,015
Oh, you don't have to do that.
497
00:18:27,086 --> 00:18:28,485
It's no problem for me.
498
00:18:28,755 --> 00:18:30,416
Really? Yeah? Okay.
499
00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:31,616
Dina!
500
00:18:31,691 --> 00:18:34,285
Wake up and make
Greg a cappuccino!
501
00:18:34,561 --> 00:18:35,892
Shake a leg, woman!
502
00:18:36,329 --> 00:18:38,593
Jesus, Jack,
you know, I'm not that tired.
503
00:18:38,665 --> 00:18:39,654
Really.
504
00:18:40,166 --> 00:18:43,465
Relax, Greg. This cockpit's
completely soundproofed.
505
00:18:43,536 --> 00:18:45,936
You should've seen the look
on your face.
506
00:18:46,005 --> 00:18:47,403
[Chuckling]
Oh! Okay, okay.
507
00:18:47,472 --> 00:18:49,633
You got me. That was...
That was a good one.
508
00:18:49,708 --> 00:18:51,175
Yes, it was. Yes.
509
00:18:51,243 --> 00:18:52,505
Mmm-hmm.
510
00:18:52,578 --> 00:18:53,567
It's funny.
511
00:18:53,946 --> 00:18:56,005
But you should never talk
to a woman like that,
512
00:18:56,081 --> 00:18:57,139
you know that, Greg.
513
00:18:57,215 --> 00:18:58,614
It's disrespectful.
514
00:18:59,017 --> 00:19:01,212
Right, of course. Yeah.
515
00:19:01,286 --> 00:19:03,550
Greg, a man reaches
a certain age
516
00:19:03,622 --> 00:19:05,590
when he realizes
what's truly important.
517
00:19:05,791 --> 00:19:06,780
Hmm-mmm.
518
00:19:07,059 --> 00:19:08,686
You know what that is?
519
00:19:09,127 --> 00:19:10,286
Love?
520
00:19:11,862 --> 00:19:13,227
Friendship?
521
00:19:13,898 --> 00:19:15,798
Enjoying the moment.
522
00:19:15,933 --> 00:19:17,833
Living. Just love.
523
00:19:18,436 --> 00:19:19,630
His legacy.
524
00:19:20,104 --> 00:19:21,696
That, too. Right. Yeah. Sure.
525
00:19:21,772 --> 00:19:24,900
Now, my grandson, Little Jack,
is part of that legacy.
526
00:19:24,976 --> 00:19:27,444
In six months, you and Pam
are gonna be married.
527
00:19:27,511 --> 00:19:28,500
Sometime after that,
528
00:19:28,579 --> 00:19:30,547
you'll want to start
a family of your own.
529
00:19:30,615 --> 00:19:32,241
Yeah. Right.
Actually, on the subject,
530
00:19:32,315 --> 00:19:34,180
I had some thoughts
about the wedding date.
531
00:19:34,250 --> 00:19:36,741
We'll discuss that later,
after this weekend, Greg.
532
00:19:36,820 --> 00:19:38,082
Now, let's get back on point.
533
00:19:38,154 --> 00:19:39,883
Let me put it very simply.
534
00:19:39,956 --> 00:19:41,355
If your family circle
535
00:19:41,424 --> 00:19:43,654
does indeed join
my family circle,
536
00:19:43,727 --> 00:19:45,388
they'll form a chain.
537
00:19:46,062 --> 00:19:48,087
I can't have a chink
in my chain.
538
00:19:48,164 --> 00:19:49,153
Hmm.
539
00:19:49,299 --> 00:19:51,665
Yeah. Okay.
I get the metaphor.
540
00:19:51,735 --> 00:19:53,396
Now,
I've never met your parents,
541
00:19:53,470 --> 00:19:56,131
so I'm not going to jump
to any hasty conclusions.
542
00:19:56,205 --> 00:19:58,298
But, like studying
a frozen caveman,
543
00:19:58,374 --> 00:20:00,069
if I can see
where you came from,
544
00:20:00,142 --> 00:20:02,633
I'll have a much better idea
of where you're going.
545
00:20:02,711 --> 00:20:03,837
Okay.
546
00:20:03,912 --> 00:20:07,279
A- are you thinking
maybe my parents might be
547
00:20:07,349 --> 00:20:09,374
like... like a chink
in the chain or...
548
00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:12,418
A doctor and a lawyer,
what's there to worry about?
549
00:20:13,155 --> 00:20:14,281
Mmm-hmm.
550
00:20:28,436 --> 00:20:29,926
[Birds cawing]
551
00:20:38,379 --> 00:20:40,778
(Dina)
Ooh, it seems very nice.
552
00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:45,040
[Karate cries]
553
00:20:46,853 --> 00:20:48,184
Is that your father?
554
00:20:48,255 --> 00:20:50,519
[Karate cries]
555
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,691
That is my father.
556
00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,455
[Karate cries]
557
00:21:03,436 --> 00:21:04,903
(Bernie)
Hey! There you are.
558
00:21:04,970 --> 00:21:06,369
What the heck is
that contraption?
559
00:21:06,439 --> 00:21:08,270
I thought you guys
were flying in tonight.
560
00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:10,240
I left a message yesterday
We were driving...
561
00:21:10,309 --> 00:21:11,708
Oh, I didn't get a message.
562
00:21:11,777 --> 00:21:13,301
(Greg)
I left you like five messages.
563
00:21:13,379 --> 00:21:15,279
Will you get over here
and plant one on me.
564
00:21:15,347 --> 00:21:16,405
Talking about messages.
565
00:21:16,482 --> 00:21:19,974
I've been waiting so long
to see you. My best buddy.
566
00:21:20,052 --> 00:21:21,280
Good to see you.
567
00:21:21,353 --> 00:21:23,583
Come here. Come here.
Oh, I missed you.
568
00:21:23,656 --> 00:21:26,180
Is this not
the most handsome young man
569
00:21:26,257 --> 00:21:27,690
you've ever seen in your life?
570
00:21:27,759 --> 00:21:30,660
I used to call him
a young Jewish Marlon Brando.
571
00:21:30,829 --> 00:21:31,818
Huh?
572
00:21:32,030 --> 00:21:33,019
[All laughing]
573
00:21:33,264 --> 00:21:34,526
Can you believe
574
00:21:34,599 --> 00:21:36,658
I conceived him
with one testicle?
575
00:21:36,735 --> 00:21:38,430
(Bernie)
No, really. It's true.
576
00:21:38,503 --> 00:21:40,801
I only have one because
the other never dropped.
577
00:21:40,872 --> 00:21:42,703
It's called
an undescending testicle.
578
00:21:42,774 --> 00:21:45,208
It's not uncommon,
but look at him.
579
00:21:45,410 --> 00:21:48,537
Imagine what he would have
looked like if I had two.
580
00:21:50,380 --> 00:21:51,813
[Greg chuckling]
581
00:21:51,882 --> 00:21:53,816
That's a good icebreaker.
582
00:21:53,917 --> 00:21:55,111
Whoa!
Ho!
583
00:21:55,185 --> 00:21:56,914
There's the sexiest
second grade teacher
584
00:21:56,987 --> 00:21:58,579
I've ever seen in my life.
585
00:21:58,655 --> 00:21:59,849
[Sputtering]
586
00:21:59,923 --> 00:22:01,083
That was a good one.
587
00:22:01,158 --> 00:22:02,250
It gets her every time.
588
00:22:02,326 --> 00:22:04,191
Goose bumps. She loves it.
589
00:22:04,261 --> 00:22:06,855
I'm Dina Byrnes.
It's so nice to meet you.
590
00:22:06,930 --> 00:22:09,693
The pleasure is all mine,
mon cheri.
591
00:22:10,566 --> 00:22:11,999
[Exclaiming]
592
00:22:12,201 --> 00:22:13,998
You got to be the flower man.
593
00:22:14,070 --> 00:22:16,129
That's right.
Jack Byrnes, Pam's father.
594
00:22:16,205 --> 00:22:18,139
And I'm Bernard Focker,
Gaylord's father,
595
00:22:18,207 --> 00:22:21,540
and we're all grownups here
and we shake hands like men.
596
00:22:22,278 --> 00:22:23,267
All right.
597
00:22:23,346 --> 00:22:24,813
[All laughing]
598
00:22:24,881 --> 00:22:26,678
Oh, we're just playing here.
599
00:22:26,749 --> 00:22:28,239
Give me some love.
600
00:22:30,419 --> 00:22:31,942
We're family now.
601
00:22:32,521 --> 00:22:34,989
What're you so shy about?
Come here.
602
00:22:37,159 --> 00:22:39,525
Oh, wow. Look at those pecs.
603
00:22:39,594 --> 00:22:41,027
Wow! You're harder
than sheetrock.
604
00:22:41,096 --> 00:22:42,324
Now tell me the truth.
605
00:22:42,397 --> 00:22:43,796
You work out
with weights, right?
606
00:22:43,865 --> 00:22:45,298
Well, I do
various callisthenics.
607
00:22:45,367 --> 00:22:48,495
Some medicine-ball training,
I play bimonthly football.
608
00:22:48,570 --> 00:22:50,162
Oh, footie-footie football?
609
00:22:50,238 --> 00:22:52,570
I was just, uh,
practicing my Capoeira. What?
610
00:22:53,108 --> 00:22:54,268
Oh, Capoeira. Yeah.
611
00:22:54,376 --> 00:22:56,468
The Brazilian martial art
of dance fighting. Yes.
612
00:22:56,544 --> 00:22:58,478
He knows what that is. Yeah.
613
00:22:58,546 --> 00:23:01,140
You know,
I've been doing it for weeks.
614
00:23:01,215 --> 00:23:02,375
I'm really into it.
615
00:23:02,449 --> 00:23:04,076
It keeps me level.
616
00:23:04,151 --> 00:23:06,176
Because sometimes
I get wound up so tight,
617
00:23:06,253 --> 00:23:08,016
I could just snap.
618
00:23:08,088 --> 00:23:09,385
You know what I mean?
619
00:23:09,456 --> 00:23:10,445
[Little Jack wailing]
620
00:23:10,524 --> 00:23:11,923
What is that?
What is that?
621
00:23:11,992 --> 00:23:13,220
Is there a baby on board?
622
00:23:13,294 --> 00:23:14,955
That's a baby. Yes, yes.
623
00:23:15,095 --> 00:23:17,255
Yeah. Hmm-mmm.
It was all in the message.
624
00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:18,695
[Moses barking]
625
00:23:18,765 --> 00:23:20,130
Hey, Moses, go ahead,
626
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,997
say hello to
your future in-laws.
627
00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:23,695
No, no, he's harmless.
628
00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:25,169
And yeah, fixed.
Moses.
629
00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:26,432
That's all right.
630
00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:27,768
(Bernie)
Just shake him off.
631
00:23:27,841 --> 00:23:29,638
Oh, no. Don't shake.
He likes the shaking.
632
00:23:29,709 --> 00:23:30,801
Moses, get off!
633
00:23:30,877 --> 00:23:32,970
No, don't worry. The pink
part didn't get on you.
634
00:23:33,046 --> 00:23:34,877
(Greg) Moses, go, get
in your basket. Go!
635
00:23:34,948 --> 00:23:36,279
(Bernie)
He's all talk.
636
00:23:36,349 --> 00:23:37,941
Who's this little guy?
637
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:39,677
This is our grandson,
Little Jack.
638
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:41,378
Oh, little baby.
639
00:23:41,453 --> 00:23:43,250
[Babbling]
640
00:23:43,322 --> 00:23:45,051
How are you, Little Jack?
641
00:23:45,190 --> 00:23:47,624
Hey, Dad, don't... don't...
Don't infantilize him.
642
00:23:47,693 --> 00:23:48,921
Just talk to him like a person.
643
00:23:48,994 --> 00:23:50,689
What are you talking about?
He's a baby.
644
00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:52,423
I want to talk to him
like he's a baby.
645
00:23:52,497 --> 00:23:54,192
Bazooka! Bazooka!
646
00:23:54,366 --> 00:23:56,891
[Wailing]
647
00:23:56,969 --> 00:23:58,561
(Bernie)
He likes me.
648
00:23:59,338 --> 00:24:01,238
When Roz's dad died, I said:
649
00:24:01,306 --> 00:24:03,933
"Hey, we're freezing our
tushies off here in Detroit."
650
00:24:04,008 --> 00:24:05,532
You know, "Let's head south
651
00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:07,635
and get some year-round fun
in the sun."
652
00:24:07,712 --> 00:24:10,010
This house is
over a 100 years old, so...
653
00:24:10,081 --> 00:24:11,480
Dad. Dad,
you continue the tour.
654
00:24:11,549 --> 00:24:13,141
I'm gonna tell Mom
we're here, okay?
655
00:24:13,217 --> 00:24:15,014
Oh! The upstairs bathroom
is on el fritzo.
656
00:24:15,086 --> 00:24:17,213
So we're all gonna have to
share this one for now.
657
00:24:17,288 --> 00:24:19,222
Since there's a water scarcity
on the island,
658
00:24:19,290 --> 00:24:21,884
we kind of abide by the
"if it's yellow let it mellow,
659
00:24:21,959 --> 00:24:24,189
"if it's brown
flush it down" policy.
660
00:24:26,529 --> 00:24:28,520
Oops. Forgot my own rule.
661
00:24:30,533 --> 00:24:31,659
[Toilet flushing]
662
00:24:31,735 --> 00:24:34,169
The RV has paid
for itself already.
663
00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:36,528
♪♪ [Music playing]
All right, kids.
664
00:24:36,606 --> 00:24:38,631
Forward and backward.
665
00:24:39,309 --> 00:24:42,506
(Roz)
Rotate those hips.
666
00:24:42,579 --> 00:24:45,173
Let's get your kundalini rising.
667
00:24:45,248 --> 00:24:47,078
And now it's time for the ladies
668
00:24:47,149 --> 00:24:49,140
to get into the reverse
cowgirl position.
669
00:24:49,218 --> 00:24:51,277
Guys, you have to
lie across the Liberator pad
670
00:24:51,353 --> 00:24:52,342
like so.
671
00:24:52,454 --> 00:24:54,319
Everyone look at
how Ira's doing it.
672
00:24:54,390 --> 00:24:56,153
Bingo. Bango. Bungo.
673
00:24:56,225 --> 00:24:59,160
The man is loose, he's limber
and he's ready for action.
674
00:24:59,228 --> 00:25:00,525
So, climb aboard, girls,
675
00:25:00,596 --> 00:25:02,496
and let me hear
your bodies talk.
676
00:25:02,564 --> 00:25:03,622
Ooh!
677
00:25:03,699 --> 00:25:05,223
Whoa! Yes!
678
00:25:05,301 --> 00:25:06,666
This position is terrific
679
00:25:06,735 --> 00:25:09,703
for anyone with osteoporosis,
gout or goiter.
680
00:25:09,771 --> 00:25:12,001
Stay with me, kids.
We're almost done.
681
00:25:12,774 --> 00:25:14,708
Ah! Honey!
682
00:25:14,776 --> 00:25:16,300
Oh! All right, guys.
683
00:25:16,377 --> 00:25:18,038
We have to wrap it up.
Everyone.
684
00:25:18,112 --> 00:25:19,977
Remember to take
your Liberator pads.
685
00:25:20,048 --> 00:25:22,812
And don't forget to stretch
before you try this at home.
686
00:25:23,017 --> 00:25:25,485
We don't want anyone
shattering a pelvis.
687
00:25:25,586 --> 00:25:27,645
Hello, my precious.
688
00:25:27,722 --> 00:25:29,155
Oh, I love you so much.
689
00:25:29,223 --> 00:25:31,713
I haven't seen
my bubeleh in months.
690
00:25:31,792 --> 00:25:33,089
Honey, you feel thin.
No, no.
691
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:34,752
You're not eating.
What's the matter?
692
00:25:34,828 --> 00:25:37,729
No. I'm fine. Mom, how do we explain
all these people to the Byrneses?
693
00:25:37,798 --> 00:25:40,358
Honey, they're leaving. The
Byrneses won't know they were here.
694
00:25:40,434 --> 00:25:43,733
Okay. We agreed to be discreet about
you being a sex therapist this weekend
695
00:25:43,804 --> 00:25:45,795
until you got to know
Jack and Dina better. Right?
696
00:25:45,872 --> 00:25:47,965
Don't worry. I'll be discreet.
I put all my toys away.
697
00:25:48,041 --> 00:25:50,032
And my office is all ready
for them to sleep in.
698
00:25:50,110 --> 00:25:52,044
Your office? No, no.
We're putting them upstairs.
699
00:25:52,112 --> 00:25:54,375
Your father thought they'd be
more comfortable down here.
700
00:25:54,447 --> 00:25:56,438
The upstairs plumbing...
You don't wanna know.
701
00:25:56,515 --> 00:25:58,415
Talk to me about
something important, honey.
702
00:25:58,484 --> 00:25:59,746
How are things with you and Pam?
703
00:25:59,819 --> 00:26:00,843
They're great.
704
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:02,353
Because, you know,
after two years,
705
00:26:02,421 --> 00:26:04,150
you have to work
to keep things going.
706
00:26:04,223 --> 00:26:05,986
Does she still climax regularly?
707
00:26:06,158 --> 00:26:07,182
Mom.
708
00:26:07,259 --> 00:26:09,193
You can't talk that way
this weekend, okay?
709
00:26:09,261 --> 00:26:10,387
Honey, I'm just saying
710
00:26:10,463 --> 00:26:12,090
I didn't raise you
to be a so-so lover.
711
00:26:12,164 --> 00:26:14,029
I know.
Okay, what is he doing?
712
00:26:14,100 --> 00:26:16,500
What?
Don't... don't worry about them.
713
00:26:16,634 --> 00:26:17,794
Mom, Mom,
714
00:26:17,869 --> 00:26:19,769
you got to get these people
out of here now.
715
00:26:19,838 --> 00:26:20,827
Okay.
716
00:26:20,905 --> 00:26:22,133
Wipe that little gloss off you.
717
00:26:22,207 --> 00:26:23,231
Okay.
718
00:26:24,909 --> 00:26:26,376
You hunt deer, Bernard?
719
00:26:26,444 --> 00:26:28,036
What? No, I hate that thing.
720
00:26:28,113 --> 00:26:29,546
Roz's father gave it to us.
721
00:26:29,614 --> 00:26:32,811
He was into all that
macho-wacho crap.
722
00:26:32,884 --> 00:26:33,942
Oh! So is Greg.
723
00:26:34,019 --> 00:26:36,544
He and I went duck-hunting
together. Didn't we, Greg? Hmm?
724
00:26:36,621 --> 00:26:37,952
Duck-hunting?
Me and you?
725
00:26:38,023 --> 00:26:39,182
Duck-hunting?
Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
726
00:26:39,256 --> 00:26:40,280
What? What?
727
00:26:40,357 --> 00:26:42,951
Gay, you went duck-hunting
with... with Jack?
728
00:26:43,494 --> 00:26:45,018
Um, yeah. We went, we did.
729
00:26:45,095 --> 00:26:46,687
We went
on a little hunting trip.
730
00:26:46,764 --> 00:26:47,890
You shot a duck?
731
00:26:47,965 --> 00:26:50,695
I shot at a duck and...
Mmm-hmm.
732
00:26:50,768 --> 00:26:53,396
You killed an
innocent creature of the sky?
733
00:26:53,470 --> 00:26:55,062
I don't... Did I...
I did... I don't...
734
00:26:55,139 --> 00:26:57,107
I think
I might've clipped it or...
735
00:26:57,174 --> 00:26:59,039
Never really checked.
736
00:27:26,668 --> 00:27:28,295
Oh, Lord.
737
00:27:28,370 --> 00:27:31,931
And now,
for the piece de resistance.
738
00:27:33,575 --> 00:27:35,805
[Gasping]
Oh, my goodness.
739
00:27:35,877 --> 00:27:37,538
Little somethin'
I've been workin' on.
740
00:27:37,612 --> 00:27:39,603
Oh, I see. Oh.
741
00:27:41,049 --> 00:27:43,574
Mom will be out in a sec.
What's that?
742
00:27:43,652 --> 00:27:44,949
It's you.
743
00:27:45,020 --> 00:27:46,385
It's the Wall of Gaylord.
744
00:27:46,587 --> 00:27:48,555
The Wall of Gaylord?
745
00:27:48,756 --> 00:27:52,021
Isn't it nice to finally display
your accomplishments, Son?
746
00:27:52,093 --> 00:27:53,492
Honey, look at all your awards.
747
00:27:53,561 --> 00:27:54,721
That's great.
748
00:27:54,795 --> 00:27:55,819
He's my champion.
749
00:27:55,896 --> 00:27:56,885
Oh, I didn't know
750
00:27:56,964 --> 00:27:58,625
they made ninth place ribbons.
751
00:27:58,699 --> 00:28:01,259
Oh, Jack, they got them
all the way up to 10th place.
752
00:28:01,335 --> 00:28:03,462
Hey! Anybody want to
get a drink by the lagoon?
753
00:28:03,537 --> 00:28:05,004
This one looks impressive.
754
00:28:05,072 --> 00:28:09,235
"Mazel tov, Gaylord M. Focker.
World's Greatest Nurse."
755
00:28:09,309 --> 00:28:10,367
[Chuckling]
756
00:28:10,443 --> 00:28:11,432
Very nice.
757
00:28:11,511 --> 00:28:12,773
We've always tried
758
00:28:12,846 --> 00:28:14,837
to instill a sense of self
in Gaylord
759
00:28:14,914 --> 00:28:17,246
without being
too goal-orientated.
760
00:28:17,317 --> 00:28:19,080
It's not about
winning or losing,
761
00:28:19,152 --> 00:28:20,141
it's about passion.
762
00:28:21,020 --> 00:28:24,012
We just want him
to love what he's doin'.
763
00:28:24,090 --> 00:28:25,489
You know what I mean, Jack?
764
00:28:25,558 --> 00:28:26,957
Not really, Bernard.
765
00:28:27,026 --> 00:28:28,493
I think a competitive drive
766
00:28:28,561 --> 00:28:30,222
is the essential key
that makes America
767
00:28:30,296 --> 00:28:32,889
the only remaining superpower
in the world today.
768
00:28:34,032 --> 00:28:35,932
Well, whatever works.
Mmm-hmm.
769
00:28:36,001 --> 00:28:38,060
(Roz) All right. Don't
forget the positions.
770
00:28:38,137 --> 00:28:39,604
Bye, Dr. Roz.
You're a lifesaver.
771
00:28:39,671 --> 00:28:41,866
Oh, Thank you, BJ.
Goodbye.
772
00:28:41,940 --> 00:28:43,464
Ira, remember,
easy on the thrusting.
773
00:28:43,542 --> 00:28:45,169
You're not 78 anymore.
774
00:28:45,244 --> 00:28:46,802
(Ira)
Bing, bang, bong.
775
00:28:46,879 --> 00:28:49,473
What... What kind of work does
your mother do with those patients?
776
00:28:49,548 --> 00:28:52,381
Those look like yoga mats.
Is there yoga involved?
777
00:28:52,451 --> 00:28:53,679
It's yogaesque.
778
00:28:53,752 --> 00:28:55,514
It's sort of, um,
779
00:28:55,586 --> 00:28:57,315
a, um, a... a... a
couples therapy.
780
00:28:57,388 --> 00:28:58,685
Kind of mind-body...
781
00:28:58,756 --> 00:29:00,246
It's kind of her own sort of...
782
00:29:00,324 --> 00:29:02,986
Rozela! Sweetheart,
living room!
783
00:29:03,494 --> 00:29:05,359
Hello! Hello! Hello!
784
00:29:05,429 --> 00:29:07,556
How are you, baby girl?
785
00:29:07,632 --> 00:29:08,894
Good, Roz.
786
00:29:08,966 --> 00:29:10,900
God! Look at you,
you're glowing!
787
00:29:10,968 --> 00:29:12,162
Oh, thank you.
788
00:29:12,236 --> 00:29:14,466
Hi, I'm Roz Focker
789
00:29:14,539 --> 00:29:17,132
you must be Jack,
and you must be Dina.
790
00:29:17,207 --> 00:29:18,367
Hi.
791
00:29:18,441 --> 00:29:19,772
I... I just can't believe
792
00:29:19,843 --> 00:29:21,504
it's taken us
this long to meet, huh.
793
00:29:21,845 --> 00:29:23,836
And who's this little hairball?
794
00:29:23,914 --> 00:29:26,007
They brought their grandson
Baby Jack along.
795
00:29:26,082 --> 00:29:29,347
He's so adorable.
I could eat him up.
796
00:29:29,419 --> 00:29:31,478
Bern, did you show them
where they're sleeping?
797
00:29:31,555 --> 00:29:34,217
Right, right, right. Because we
don't have any air-conditioning,
798
00:29:34,291 --> 00:29:37,624
I made up a nice spot for you in Roz's
office 'cause it gets the best breeze,
799
00:29:37,694 --> 00:29:39,524
and it's very near
the communal commode.
800
00:29:39,595 --> 00:29:42,462
Oh, well, you know, actually,
we're gonna stay in our motor home.
801
00:29:42,531 --> 00:29:43,725
In the trailer?
802
00:29:43,799 --> 00:29:45,767
Come on, Jack.
You're family.
803
00:29:45,834 --> 00:29:47,062
We sleep under the same roof.
804
00:29:47,136 --> 00:29:49,104
Actually, Mom's office
is kind of cluttered.
805
00:29:49,171 --> 00:29:50,536
So, that... that works all right.
806
00:29:50,606 --> 00:29:52,403
It's just really easier
with Little Jack.
807
00:29:52,474 --> 00:29:54,237
No, no. Really.
We insist.
808
00:29:54,310 --> 00:29:55,834
They wanna sleep in the trailer,
809
00:29:55,911 --> 00:29:57,242
let them sleep in the trailer.
810
00:29:57,313 --> 00:29:59,213
Mom, it's not actually...
It's not a trailer.
811
00:29:59,281 --> 00:30:01,475
It's kind of like... It's like
a... like a hotel on wheels.
812
00:30:01,549 --> 00:30:04,484
This is practically a hotel. I
was gonna do the turndown service...
813
00:30:04,552 --> 00:30:06,543
I know, I know,
but it's their choice.
814
00:30:06,621 --> 00:30:08,885
Wherever you feel
most comfortable is fine.
815
00:30:08,957 --> 00:30:10,754
(Bernie) It's not
right. Bern, let it go.
816
00:30:10,825 --> 00:30:12,087
Let it go? Fine.
817
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:13,320
Yeah, let it go.
818
00:30:13,394 --> 00:30:15,191
Look at you, sulking.
819
00:30:15,263 --> 00:30:17,254
Now, look at this.
I married a teenager. Right?
820
00:30:17,332 --> 00:30:19,698
At least you have the libido
of a teenager.
821
00:30:19,767 --> 00:30:21,564
I gave her
a little matinee today...
822
00:30:21,636 --> 00:30:23,570
Oh! Don't you dare!
Stop it!
823
00:30:24,104 --> 00:30:25,935
[Chuckling]
How about a double feature?
824
00:30:26,173 --> 00:30:27,162
[Laughing]
825
00:30:27,374 --> 00:30:29,035
(Bernie)
Come on. Come on.
826
00:30:29,109 --> 00:30:31,771
Lagoon? Why don't we go
show them the lagoon?
827
00:30:31,845 --> 00:30:33,540
The lagoon.
Come see the lagoon.
828
00:30:33,614 --> 00:30:35,241
The lagoon, Jack. Come on.
829
00:30:35,382 --> 00:30:36,679
We'll get drunk,
830
00:30:36,750 --> 00:30:38,411
we'll take a piss in the lagoon.
831
00:30:38,986 --> 00:30:40,954
(Bernie) Roz, why don't
you take them outside?
832
00:30:41,021 --> 00:30:42,511
Show them around.
I'll make a drink.
833
00:30:50,029 --> 00:30:51,257
Oh, God.
834
00:30:52,265 --> 00:30:53,357
(Greg)
Hey, Dad...
835
00:30:53,432 --> 00:30:55,024
It's going good so far, right?
836
00:30:55,101 --> 00:30:57,661
Dad, you gotta take down
that weird shrine thing.
837
00:30:57,737 --> 00:30:59,170
But I'm very proud
of you, Gaylord.
838
00:30:59,238 --> 00:31:00,535
What's wrong with showing it?
839
00:31:00,606 --> 00:31:01,937
It's ridiculous.
840
00:31:02,008 --> 00:31:04,169
Most people aren't proud
of sixth place ribbons.
841
00:31:04,243 --> 00:31:05,232
Most people?
842
00:31:05,311 --> 00:31:07,040
Since when do you care
about most people?
843
00:31:07,113 --> 00:31:10,206
I don't, but Jack
is really into winning
844
00:31:10,282 --> 00:31:12,079
and competition and sports.
845
00:31:12,150 --> 00:31:13,913
It's a whole other thing
with him.
846
00:31:13,985 --> 00:31:16,647
Hey. Hey. You're a winner
up here and in here.
847
00:31:16,721 --> 00:31:18,484
And that's all that matters.
848
00:31:18,556 --> 00:31:19,989
Okay. Thank you.
849
00:31:20,125 --> 00:31:22,025
I don't know what that means,
but thank you.
850
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:23,549
(Jack)
So, to solve that problem,
851
00:31:23,628 --> 00:31:26,620
I created a life-like
latex left breast
852
00:31:26,698 --> 00:31:29,098
moulded from his mother's
actual left breast,
853
00:31:29,167 --> 00:31:31,760
so this way LJ would avoid
any nipple confusion.
854
00:31:31,835 --> 00:31:35,896
You're avoiding confusion
by strapping a boob on a man?
855
00:31:35,973 --> 00:31:37,338
Well, yes, believe it or not,
856
00:31:37,408 --> 00:31:39,308
it is less confusing
because of the texture
857
00:31:39,376 --> 00:31:40,434
Mom.
858
00:31:40,511 --> 00:31:42,479
...of the breast itself.
859
00:31:42,546 --> 00:31:46,448
Uh, I guess it's very,
uh, creative.
860
00:31:46,517 --> 00:31:47,506
It's very creative.
861
00:31:47,584 --> 00:31:49,848
♪♪ [Bernie humming]
862
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:54,288
A little birdie told me
that one of our guests here
863
00:31:54,357 --> 00:31:56,257
is a Tom Collins man.
864
00:31:56,326 --> 00:31:57,623
[All laughing]
865
00:31:57,694 --> 00:31:58,888
Oh, for pity's sake.
866
00:31:58,961 --> 00:32:00,588
Isn't that nice, Jack?
867
00:32:00,663 --> 00:32:02,290
That is nice. Thank you.
868
00:32:02,365 --> 00:32:05,823
(Bernie) All right. Wait. Don't
drink. I want to make a toast.
869
00:32:07,437 --> 00:32:10,736
Now,
I had a vasectomy in 1974...
870
00:32:10,807 --> 00:32:11,865
'73, honey.
871
00:32:11,941 --> 00:32:13,101
You're right. '73.
872
00:32:13,176 --> 00:32:15,974
So, unfortunately, I never had
the chance to procreate a daughter,
873
00:32:16,045 --> 00:32:17,272
but had I been able to,
874
00:32:17,346 --> 00:32:19,974
I really would've wanted a girl
875
00:32:20,048 --> 00:32:22,414
as sensitive and as intelligent
876
00:32:22,584 --> 00:32:24,051
and as beautiful
877
00:32:24,319 --> 00:32:27,447
as this young lady
sitting right here before us.
878
00:32:27,923 --> 00:32:29,049
Thank you, Bernie.
879
00:32:29,124 --> 00:32:30,318
And if I might add...
880
00:32:30,392 --> 00:32:31,416
Greg.
881
00:32:31,827 --> 00:32:32,885
Yeah.
882
00:32:33,328 --> 00:32:34,795
I thought you had a sister?
883
00:32:34,863 --> 00:32:36,888
Nope. No sister.
884
00:32:37,566 --> 00:32:39,032
You said you had a sister.
885
00:32:39,100 --> 00:32:41,330
You said
you milked your sister's cat.
886
00:32:46,107 --> 00:32:49,804
(Bernie) Okay, I'm not done
yet. What I'm trying to say is,
887
00:32:49,910 --> 00:32:52,674
it's taken far too long
to do this, you know,
888
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,939
but we're finally all together.
889
00:32:55,516 --> 00:32:56,983
(Roz)
That's nice, honey.
890
00:32:57,551 --> 00:32:59,610
Oh, thank you.
891
00:33:00,955 --> 00:33:02,319
All right, that's enough.
892
00:33:02,389 --> 00:33:04,016
L'chaim, everyone.
893
00:33:04,090 --> 00:33:05,284
(All)
L'chaim!
894
00:33:05,358 --> 00:33:06,757
L'ha-ha.
895
00:33:06,826 --> 00:33:09,727
Like you have popcorn
stuck in the throat. It's a...
896
00:33:09,929 --> 00:33:11,419
Okay. To family.
897
00:33:11,498 --> 00:33:13,193
[All laughing]
898
00:33:13,433 --> 00:33:14,422
To family.
899
00:33:14,534 --> 00:33:15,558
Oh! I forgot.
900
00:33:15,635 --> 00:33:17,728
I want to say one more
thing about my vasectomy.
901
00:33:17,804 --> 00:33:19,032
(Roz)
Sit down.
902
00:33:19,105 --> 00:33:21,437
Honey, get yourself over here.
903
00:33:21,508 --> 00:33:22,497
I went overboard?
904
00:33:22,575 --> 00:33:23,563
(Roz)
A little bit.
905
00:33:23,642 --> 00:33:26,440
You're so cute,
they'll forgive you anything.
906
00:33:26,678 --> 00:33:28,612
(Bernie)
God! You're so beautiful.
907
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,080
[Whispering] You are the
sexiest woman alive I know.
908
00:33:31,150 --> 00:33:34,017
Mmm. You're just trying to
get me back into bed.
909
00:33:34,086 --> 00:33:35,246
(Bernie)
Or the hammock.
910
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:36,378
[Clearing throat]
911
00:33:36,455 --> 00:33:38,218
This is a delicious Tom Collins.
912
00:33:38,290 --> 00:33:40,622
What I did,
I used real lemon juice.
913
00:33:40,692 --> 00:33:42,683
It's from our trees here.
That's the secret.
914
00:33:42,761 --> 00:33:44,592
He was squeezing all afternoon.
915
00:33:44,663 --> 00:33:45,823
Yeah. And, Jack,
916
00:33:45,898 --> 00:33:47,660
I managed to make some
lemon juice, too.
917
00:33:47,732 --> 00:33:49,324
[Both laughing]
918
00:33:50,168 --> 00:33:51,396
[gasping]
919
00:33:51,469 --> 00:33:53,027
(Bernie)
Gay, you all right?
920
00:33:53,104 --> 00:33:54,731
Honey, you okay?
Are you sure?
921
00:33:55,606 --> 00:33:57,039
[Frogs croaking]
922
00:34:01,612 --> 00:34:03,136
Well, I think
923
00:34:03,214 --> 00:34:06,308
that Roz and Bernie seem like
very nice people.
924
00:34:06,384 --> 00:34:08,181
Oh! Very nice people.
925
00:34:08,585 --> 00:34:10,576
A little off-colour,
but very nice.
926
00:34:10,654 --> 00:34:12,451
Oh! But isn't it
wonderful, Jack?
927
00:34:12,522 --> 00:34:13,921
After all this build-up,
928
00:34:13,990 --> 00:34:15,617
the kids
are finally getting married.
929
00:34:15,692 --> 00:34:17,319
I feel so happy.
930
00:34:17,394 --> 00:34:19,328
Wait a second.
I think he just spoke.
931
00:34:19,396 --> 00:34:21,887
Little Jack,
were you about to speak?
932
00:34:21,965 --> 00:34:22,954
[Farts]
933
00:34:24,801 --> 00:34:26,359
Nope, just a little flatulence.
934
00:34:26,436 --> 00:34:27,926
What were you saying, honey?
935
00:34:28,004 --> 00:34:29,301
Nothing, dear.
936
00:34:31,173 --> 00:34:33,835
Guys, where are you going?
937
00:34:33,909 --> 00:34:36,639
We're checking out
Jack's macho-wacho trailer.
938
00:34:36,712 --> 00:34:38,304
Yeah.
I want to see that boob.
939
00:34:38,380 --> 00:34:40,473
Can I talk to you for a sec? Yeah.
940
00:34:40,549 --> 00:34:42,881
Hey, listen, don't let Moses
go in there. They have a cat.
941
00:34:42,952 --> 00:34:44,613
Moses is perfectly trained...
942
00:34:44,687 --> 00:34:46,450
Dad, he humps
everything that moves.
943
00:34:46,522 --> 00:34:47,819
Honey, he's like his father.
944
00:34:47,890 --> 00:34:49,152
I never cheated on you.
945
00:34:49,225 --> 00:34:51,318
They're not listening to me.
946
00:34:54,195 --> 00:34:55,389
So, what's up?
947
00:34:55,463 --> 00:34:57,795
They seem to be getting along
really well, don't you think?
948
00:34:57,866 --> 00:35:00,596
Yeah, they do. I know. I kind of
feel bad that I worried so much.
949
00:35:00,668 --> 00:35:02,067
Yeah. That was okay.
950
00:35:02,136 --> 00:35:03,433
What's going on?
951
00:35:04,939 --> 00:35:06,167
I'm pregnant.
952
00:35:06,307 --> 00:35:08,070
You're pregnant?
Mmm-hmm.
953
00:35:08,776 --> 00:35:10,676
I'm two weeks late.
I'm nauseous,
954
00:35:10,745 --> 00:35:12,576
my boobs hurt,
and I can smell everything.
955
00:35:12,647 --> 00:35:15,275
You're gonna have a baby.
Yeah. A baby.
956
00:35:15,350 --> 00:35:17,180
Oh, we're gonna
have a little baby, a baby.
957
00:35:17,251 --> 00:35:18,411
I'm pregnant.
958
00:35:18,485 --> 00:35:19,952
I just... I...
959
00:35:20,487 --> 00:35:21,579
[laughing]
960
00:35:23,190 --> 00:35:24,179
Yeah.
961
00:35:26,260 --> 00:35:27,420
Oh, shit!
962
00:35:29,363 --> 00:35:32,196
You realize your father
is going to kill me?
963
00:35:32,566 --> 00:35:34,033
No, no, no, no, no.
964
00:35:34,101 --> 00:35:36,592
He's not gonna find out because
we're not going to tell him.
965
00:35:36,670 --> 00:35:39,160
No, no, no, no, no. Come on.
He's a human lie detector.
966
00:35:39,238 --> 00:35:40,830
He lives to sniff out
stuff like this.
967
00:35:40,907 --> 00:35:42,135
We'll get through this weekend,
968
00:35:42,208 --> 00:35:43,300
we'll get through tomorrow.
969
00:35:43,376 --> 00:35:45,674
And... and... and we'll tell
them on Sunday before we go.
970
00:35:45,745 --> 00:35:46,837
Okay? We'll tell them all.
971
00:35:46,913 --> 00:35:49,404
I just hate the idea of
keeping secrets from your dad.
972
00:35:49,482 --> 00:35:51,473
It's just one little secret.
973
00:35:52,318 --> 00:35:53,785
Oh! Hi, neighbours.
974
00:35:53,853 --> 00:35:54,979
Hello.
975
00:35:55,054 --> 00:35:56,282
The Fockers, honey.
976
00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:57,822
A la fancy-shmancy.
977
00:35:57,890 --> 00:35:59,255
Welcome to the chateau.
978
00:35:59,325 --> 00:36:01,485
No wonder they don't want
to sleep in our shit box.
979
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:02,822
Look at this place.
980
00:36:02,894 --> 00:36:03,918
[Moses barking]
981
00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:06,486
I... I don't think the dog
is such a good idea.
982
00:36:06,565 --> 00:36:09,090
Don't worry. Moses is more
of a lover than a fighter.
983
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:10,794
Jesus!
Moses!
984
00:36:10,869 --> 00:36:13,235
He's always dreamt of me
having a white wedding.
985
00:36:13,305 --> 00:36:14,966
You don't know how upset
he's gonna be.
986
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,098
No, I do know.
987
00:36:16,174 --> 00:36:18,438
(Bernie)
Moses! Moses!
988
00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:19,534
(Jack)
Jinxy!
989
00:36:19,611 --> 00:36:21,704
(Greg) Dad, I told you
to keep him out of the RV.
990
00:36:21,780 --> 00:36:23,145
He said he wanted to see the RV.
991
00:36:23,213 --> 00:36:24,237
Dad!
992
00:36:24,315 --> 00:36:25,407
Moses! Moses!
993
00:36:25,482 --> 00:36:27,780
(Jack) Get that goddamn dog out of here!
994
00:36:31,021 --> 00:36:32,010
Mo!
995
00:36:33,591 --> 00:36:34,751
(Bernie)
Oh, God!
996
00:36:34,825 --> 00:36:36,019
Dad!
997
00:36:36,093 --> 00:36:37,253
[Moses whimpering]
998
00:36:37,328 --> 00:36:38,317
(Greg)
Oh! Jinx.
999
00:36:38,395 --> 00:36:39,384
Jinx, don't do it.
1000
00:36:39,463 --> 00:36:40,452
Jinxy, no.
1001
00:36:40,531 --> 00:36:41,520
Don't do it!
1002
00:36:41,599 --> 00:36:42,588
(All three)
No!
1003
00:36:42,666 --> 00:36:43,826
[Whimpering]
1004
00:36:43,901 --> 00:36:46,664
Jesus! Moses! Hold on.
1005
00:36:50,506 --> 00:36:52,303
Moses, hold on.
I'm gonna save you!
1006
00:36:52,375 --> 00:36:53,774
The cat can flush?
1007
00:36:54,210 --> 00:36:55,472
Oh, my God!
1008
00:36:55,545 --> 00:36:56,910
[Little Jack wailing]
1009
00:36:57,413 --> 00:36:58,471
Get out of the way!
1010
00:36:58,548 --> 00:37:00,778
(Jack) Hey! What the hell are
you doing? That's my toilet!
1011
00:37:00,850 --> 00:37:01,942
I got to get my dog!
1012
00:37:02,018 --> 00:37:03,952
Forget your dog.
What about my toilet?
1013
00:37:04,721 --> 00:37:05,710
Moses!
1014
00:37:05,888 --> 00:37:06,877
[Grunts]
1015
00:37:07,590 --> 00:37:08,613
[yelling]
1016
00:37:08,824 --> 00:37:09,984
[sobbing]
1017
00:37:10,125 --> 00:37:11,990
(Pam) No! Stop the baby! Stop the baby!
1018
00:37:12,494 --> 00:37:13,483
[Screaming]
1019
00:37:17,599 --> 00:37:18,964
[wailing continues]
1020
00:37:22,037 --> 00:37:23,231
(Bernie)
He's alive!
1021
00:37:24,673 --> 00:37:25,867
He's fine.
1022
00:37:25,941 --> 00:37:28,501
So much for the protection
of our rolling safe house.
1023
00:37:28,577 --> 00:37:31,238
Oh, honey, he was trying
to save his pet.
1024
00:37:31,312 --> 00:37:32,802
I mean, what if it was Jinxy
1025
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:34,279
who got flushed into a toilet?
1026
00:37:34,348 --> 00:37:36,543
Mr. Jinx has had
extensive aquatic training.
1027
00:37:36,617 --> 00:37:39,518
He would have known exactly what
to do in the event of a submersion.
1028
00:37:39,587 --> 00:37:40,611
[Purring]
1029
00:37:42,056 --> 00:37:43,216
[growling]
1030
00:37:43,290 --> 00:37:44,416
[clearing throat]
1031
00:37:44,492 --> 00:37:46,551
20-minute warning for dinner,
guys.
1032
00:37:46,627 --> 00:37:48,561
Sorry about the trailer, Jack.
1033
00:37:49,697 --> 00:37:51,460
[Whispering]
Muskrat.
1034
00:37:53,767 --> 00:37:55,200
It's okay, Bernard.
1035
00:37:55,268 --> 00:37:56,530
[Growling]
1036
00:37:56,870 --> 00:37:58,929
There's no way we're not
telling him this weekend.
1037
00:37:59,005 --> 00:38:00,632
I know.
That's what I was saying.
1038
00:38:00,707 --> 00:38:01,765
So, what do you wanna do?
1039
00:38:01,841 --> 00:38:03,866
I'm not sure. I never
thought this'd be an issue.
1040
00:38:03,943 --> 00:38:05,934
I thought we'd be married
before we got pregnant.
1041
00:38:06,012 --> 00:38:07,274
Hey.
What?
1042
00:38:08,682 --> 00:38:10,843
Why don't we move
the wedding up to next month?
1043
00:38:10,917 --> 00:38:11,975
What?
1044
00:38:12,052 --> 00:38:13,144
Then we'll tell your dad
1045
00:38:13,219 --> 00:38:15,187
you got pregnant
on the honeymoon.
1046
00:38:15,321 --> 00:38:17,379
Oh, my God, yeah,
that could work.
1047
00:38:17,456 --> 00:38:18,946
Yeah. It's perfect, right? Yeah.
1048
00:38:19,024 --> 00:38:20,423
Okay. Good.
Just follow my lead.
1049
00:38:20,492 --> 00:38:21,982
Okay.
Okay.
1050
00:38:23,162 --> 00:38:24,424
♪♪ [Humming]
1051
00:38:24,496 --> 00:38:27,431
Without further ado,
my famous Focker Fondue.
1052
00:38:27,499 --> 00:38:28,864
[All applauding]
1053
00:38:28,934 --> 00:38:31,027
Come on, dig in. Come on.
Get it while it's hot.
1054
00:38:31,103 --> 00:38:34,266
That is so impressive, Bernie.
Did you do that yourself?
1055
00:38:34,339 --> 00:38:36,239
Oh, sure.
Oh! I love to cook.
1056
00:38:36,308 --> 00:38:37,434
I can't even fry an egg.
1057
00:38:37,509 --> 00:38:38,497
(Bernie)
True.
1058
00:38:38,576 --> 00:38:39,736
I burn cornflakes.
1059
00:38:40,011 --> 00:38:42,070
I'm amazed
he finds the time to cook
1060
00:38:42,146 --> 00:38:44,171
with such a high-powered
legal career.
1061
00:38:44,348 --> 00:38:45,406
High-powered?
1062
00:38:45,550 --> 00:38:47,040
I wouldn't exactly call... Uh-oh!
1063
00:38:47,118 --> 00:38:48,915
You kicked me.
Why did you kick me?
1064
00:38:48,986 --> 00:38:52,251
I kick... kicked you
because you're being modest
1065
00:38:52,323 --> 00:38:55,121
and you should tell people that
you are a good lawyer, which he is,
1066
00:38:55,193 --> 00:38:56,751
a- a-and he has fought
1067
00:38:56,928 --> 00:38:58,759
some really big,
important legal battles.
1068
00:38:58,830 --> 00:39:01,161
Truth is, Jack, when Gay was
born, I stopped practicing
1069
00:39:01,231 --> 00:39:03,597
and became a stay-at-home dad.
1070
00:39:03,700 --> 00:39:04,860
Oh, believe me,
1071
00:39:04,935 --> 00:39:06,527
he won a trial or two
in his day.
1072
00:39:06,603 --> 00:39:08,298
Oh!
Extremely good trial lawyer.
1073
00:39:08,371 --> 00:39:09,895
A regular Clarence Darrow.
1074
00:39:09,973 --> 00:39:11,440
So Roz was
the primary breadwinner
1075
00:39:11,508 --> 00:39:13,066
and you didn't have a job?
1076
00:39:13,143 --> 00:39:14,337
(Pam)
Dad.
1077
00:39:14,411 --> 00:39:17,574
Honey, come on, you could say
he had the hardest job.
1078
00:39:17,714 --> 00:39:19,306
Oh, he's... he's just kidding.
1079
00:39:19,382 --> 00:39:20,644
Of course, I'm... Yes.
1080
00:39:20,717 --> 00:39:23,082
Why don't we jump into
the topic of the hour, hmm,
1081
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:24,414
the big Focker-Byrnes wedding.
1082
00:39:24,487 --> 00:39:25,681
Yes. Good.
1083
00:39:26,322 --> 00:39:28,916
I know we've been talking
about a... a fall wedding...
1084
00:39:28,991 --> 00:39:31,289
[Bernie speaking in Spanish]
1085
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:32,622
[woman speaking in Spanish]
1086
00:39:32,695 --> 00:39:33,923
Is that Isabel?
1087
00:39:33,996 --> 00:39:36,260
Oh, yeah. Our former
housekeeper, Isabel.
1088
00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:39,028
You know, she has her own catering
business now, isn't that great?
1089
00:39:39,101 --> 00:39:42,127
And... and I asked her to come and help
Bernie in the kitchen this weekend.
1090
00:39:42,204 --> 00:39:43,535
You didn't tell me she was here.
1091
00:39:43,606 --> 00:39:45,630
Gay had a monster crush on
her when he was a teenager.
1092
00:39:45,707 --> 00:39:46,731
(Pam)
Really?
1093
00:39:46,808 --> 00:39:48,469
I didn't have any monster crush.
1094
00:39:48,543 --> 00:39:49,942
You didn't tell me about that.
1095
00:39:50,011 --> 00:39:51,103
Yeah. Because it's not true.
1096
00:39:51,179 --> 00:39:54,171
Oh, not true? Then I didn't catch
you doing baziga to her passport photo
1097
00:39:54,249 --> 00:39:55,273
when you were, what, 13?
1098
00:39:55,350 --> 00:39:56,339
(Roz)
Honey, stop.
1099
00:39:56,417 --> 00:39:57,714
(Bernie)
I walk in the door...
1100
00:39:57,786 --> 00:39:58,878
(Isabel)
Where is he?
1101
00:39:58,953 --> 00:40:00,511
Oh, there's my baby!
1102
00:40:00,588 --> 00:40:01,680
Hey!
1103
00:40:03,525 --> 00:40:04,514
[Laughs]
1104
00:40:05,226 --> 00:40:06,853
[both exclaiming]
1105
00:40:06,928 --> 00:40:08,326
Good to see you.
1106
00:40:08,829 --> 00:40:09,818
Mmm. Good to see you.
1107
00:40:09,897 --> 00:40:11,489
I... I haven't seen you in years.
1108
00:40:11,565 --> 00:40:12,554
I know.
1109
00:40:12,699 --> 00:40:14,098
Mmm.
Yes, you...
1110
00:40:14,168 --> 00:40:16,432
Wow! Yeah. Look at you.
You look...
1111
00:40:16,503 --> 00:40:17,527
I know.
1112
00:40:17,604 --> 00:40:18,628
Yeah. You look...
1113
00:40:18,705 --> 00:40:19,933
I had a boob job.
Wow.
1114
00:40:20,007 --> 00:40:21,201
[Cooing]
1115
00:40:21,275 --> 00:40:22,708
Yeah. Yeah.
1116
00:40:23,177 --> 00:40:25,702
Hey! This is, uh,
Dina and Jack Byrnes.
1117
00:40:25,779 --> 00:40:26,837
Mucho gusto.
1118
00:40:26,914 --> 00:40:27,903
Hi, Isabel.
1119
00:40:27,981 --> 00:40:28,970
Mucho gusto.
1120
00:40:29,049 --> 00:40:32,017
And this is Pam Byrnes,
my fiancée.
1121
00:40:32,084 --> 00:40:34,075
Encantada.
1122
00:40:34,153 --> 00:40:36,018
Nice to meet you, too.
1123
00:40:36,622 --> 00:40:40,058
Not yet married,
and already a little one?
1124
00:40:40,726 --> 00:40:43,194
And he is
a handsome little Focker.
1125
00:40:43,262 --> 00:40:44,320
[Laughs]
1126
00:40:44,397 --> 00:40:45,421
See?
1127
00:40:45,498 --> 00:40:46,760
Oh, no. He's not a Focker.
1128
00:40:46,833 --> 00:40:48,198
Yeah, no.
He's not mine.
1129
00:40:48,267 --> 00:40:50,758
And still you stayed
to raise her child?
1130
00:40:50,937 --> 00:40:51,961
Good for you.
1131
00:40:52,038 --> 00:40:53,402
No, he's Pam's nephew.
1132
00:40:53,505 --> 00:40:55,973
He has no connection
to Greg whatsoever.
1133
00:40:56,208 --> 00:40:57,641
[Babbling]
1134
00:40:57,809 --> 00:40:59,003
[speaking in Spanish]
1135
00:40:59,077 --> 00:41:00,271
[babbling]
1136
00:41:00,345 --> 00:41:01,642
I love you, too.
1137
00:41:01,713 --> 00:41:03,442
Mama! Mama!
Mama!
1138
00:41:04,182 --> 00:41:05,547
[All laughing]
1139
00:41:05,617 --> 00:41:07,084
Little Jack, no.
1140
00:41:07,152 --> 00:41:08,585
Those aren't for you.
1141
00:41:09,221 --> 00:41:11,451
[Mooing]
1142
00:41:11,623 --> 00:41:12,954
[babbling]
1143
00:41:13,024 --> 00:41:14,013
Oh.
1144
00:41:14,326 --> 00:41:15,314
Mom.
1145
00:41:15,392 --> 00:41:17,587
I think I'll take him inside.
1146
00:41:17,895 --> 00:41:19,123
(Jack)
Good idea.
1147
00:41:21,832 --> 00:41:24,767
You're a very lucky woman, Pam.
1148
00:41:24,835 --> 00:41:26,928
He's very special, this one.
1149
00:41:27,271 --> 00:41:28,295
[Laughing]
1150
00:41:28,873 --> 00:41:30,135
I think so, too.
1151
00:41:30,207 --> 00:41:32,573
Oh, I could tell you
some stories about him.
1152
00:41:32,643 --> 00:41:33,803
Really?
1153
00:41:34,445 --> 00:41:36,379
Oh, she's just being silly.
1154
00:41:36,513 --> 00:41:38,173
Nice to meet you all.
1155
00:41:38,248 --> 00:41:39,715
Nice to meet you.
1156
00:41:39,883 --> 00:41:42,443
So sweet. Oh! So sweet.
1157
00:41:42,752 --> 00:41:44,117
[Clears throat]
1158
00:41:44,754 --> 00:41:47,018
Hey, do you guys
want some more, uh, wine?
1159
00:41:47,657 --> 00:41:50,558
Mas vino por la mama, si.
1160
00:41:50,994 --> 00:41:51,983
Hey.
1161
00:41:52,262 --> 00:41:54,457
Hey, you did good, Greg.
1162
00:41:54,530 --> 00:41:56,498
She's very pretty,
this one, huh?
1163
00:41:56,566 --> 00:41:58,966
Yeah, she's, uh,
she's really great.
1164
00:41:59,035 --> 00:42:00,059
Really great.
1165
00:42:00,136 --> 00:42:02,763
Can you believe
it's been 15 years?
1166
00:42:02,838 --> 00:42:04,533
[Speaking in Spanish]
1167
00:42:04,606 --> 00:42:07,006
So many wonderful memories
from those days.
1168
00:42:07,075 --> 00:42:09,509
Yes. Yes, lot of wonderful,
1169
00:42:09,578 --> 00:42:13,275
kind of private memories.
1170
00:42:13,348 --> 00:42:17,614
So, you never told
your fiancée about us, huh?
1171
00:42:17,686 --> 00:42:19,381
Um, no, I don't think I did.
1172
00:42:19,454 --> 00:42:21,820
I don't, I think, I don't
think it ever came up on my end.
1173
00:42:21,890 --> 00:42:24,289
Not that I didn't want her to
know. It just, never really...
1174
00:42:24,358 --> 00:42:26,656
Yeah, and not that, I... I mean,
not that it wasn't great.
1175
00:42:26,727 --> 00:42:28,957
It was really, you know,
for me it was like...
1176
00:42:29,030 --> 00:42:30,463
And you were so
1177
00:42:30,531 --> 00:42:32,123
helpful and... and...
1178
00:42:32,199 --> 00:42:33,530
Don't you worry, baby.
1179
00:42:33,601 --> 00:42:35,068
Your secret's safe with me.
1180
00:42:35,169 --> 00:42:36,158
Okay.
1181
00:42:36,470 --> 00:42:37,960
There's no secrets.
But, good, yeah,
1182
00:42:38,039 --> 00:42:40,064
maybe if we keep it quiet
this weekend and then...
1183
00:42:40,141 --> 00:42:42,234
Because, yeah, I don't want
Pam to feel uncomfortable.
1184
00:42:42,310 --> 00:42:45,301
And then later, when it's the
proper, you know, setting, I can...
1185
00:42:45,378 --> 00:42:47,938
Okay, yeah, okay, good.
And, uh...
1186
00:42:48,281 --> 00:42:49,270
Good.
1187
00:42:49,516 --> 00:42:52,610
Oh, and fondue, fondue
is going... is goin' over.
1188
00:42:52,686 --> 00:42:54,984
Gay, you're just in time
to hear me tell the gang
1189
00:42:55,055 --> 00:42:57,046
how you lost
your virginity to Isabel.
1190
00:42:57,123 --> 00:42:58,613
[Door closing]
1191
00:42:59,826 --> 00:43:02,294
(Bernie)
He was 19. A late bloomer.
1192
00:43:03,296 --> 00:43:05,161
You s-slept with Isabel?
1193
00:43:05,231 --> 00:43:06,823
We were relieved.
1194
00:43:07,367 --> 00:43:09,357
Why... why would you, why...
Why would you bring that up?
1195
00:43:09,435 --> 00:43:10,459
What's the problem?
1196
00:43:10,536 --> 00:43:11,901
It was, what, 15 years ago.
1197
00:43:11,971 --> 00:43:13,404
Honey, your father thought
1198
00:43:13,472 --> 00:43:14,803
that it'd be fun
to share stories
1199
00:43:14,873 --> 00:43:16,135
about our first time.
1200
00:43:16,308 --> 00:43:18,868
Really? That sounds like fun.
That's...
1201
00:43:18,944 --> 00:43:20,639
That's fine.
1202
00:43:20,713 --> 00:43:23,181
Come on, tell us how you
popped your cherry. Come on.
1203
00:43:23,882 --> 00:43:25,179
I really don't feel comfortable
1204
00:43:25,250 --> 00:43:26,717
discussing that
with you, Bernard.
1205
00:43:26,785 --> 00:43:29,686
You know what? I suggest that we get
back to talking about the wedding.
1206
00:43:29,755 --> 00:43:31,221
Thank you, Bernie.
1207
00:43:31,289 --> 00:43:32,449
[Little Jack wailing]
1208
00:43:32,523 --> 00:43:33,649
What?
1209
00:43:33,725 --> 00:43:35,955
Mom, didn't you just take
Little Jack back to the room?
1210
00:43:36,027 --> 00:43:37,858
I'm monitoring him
from a high-powered
1211
00:43:37,929 --> 00:43:40,193
multidirectional microphone
planted in his crib.
1212
00:43:40,264 --> 00:43:42,892
Oh, baby monitors.
Hidden cameras.
1213
00:43:42,967 --> 00:43:45,265
Whatever happened to a
little thing called privacy?
1214
00:43:45,336 --> 00:43:47,395
Bernie, surveillance
technology has helped protect
1215
00:43:47,472 --> 00:43:48,700
a lot of the freedoms
1216
00:43:48,773 --> 00:43:50,707
that we as Americans
take advantage of today.
1217
00:43:54,378 --> 00:43:56,369
He's right.
It has been good.
1218
00:43:59,049 --> 00:44:01,347
S- son, that is bullcrap
in a chef's salad.
1219
00:44:01,418 --> 00:44:04,251
Jack, tell me one smart thing
the CLIA has done
1220
00:44:04,321 --> 00:44:06,687
and I'll give you
the deed to her house.
1221
00:44:06,757 --> 00:44:08,054
The CLIA?
1222
00:44:08,125 --> 00:44:10,355
The Central Lack
of Intelligence Agency.
1223
00:44:10,994 --> 00:44:12,655
[Bernie and Roz laughing]
1224
00:44:15,831 --> 00:44:17,355
[Little Jack wailing]
1225
00:44:19,969 --> 00:44:21,994
I think that baby might need
a couple of pulls
1226
00:44:22,071 --> 00:44:23,629
on that knocker of yours, Jack.
1227
00:44:25,041 --> 00:44:26,303
[Both laughing]
1228
00:44:26,442 --> 00:44:27,466
No, it's okay.
1229
00:44:27,543 --> 00:44:28,635
We're Ferberizing him.
1230
00:44:28,711 --> 00:44:30,201
You're what?
The Ferber method.
1231
00:44:30,279 --> 00:44:33,009
You let him cry it out. This way
he doesn't depend on coddling.
1232
00:44:33,082 --> 00:44:35,346
On the other hand,
the Continuum Concept
1233
00:44:35,418 --> 00:44:37,181
shows that a baby benefits
1234
00:44:37,253 --> 00:44:39,652
more from constant
physical contact.
1235
00:44:39,721 --> 00:44:40,710
Oh.
1236
00:44:41,723 --> 00:44:43,156
We use the Ferber Method.
1237
00:44:43,291 --> 00:44:44,758
We used the Focker Method.
1238
00:44:44,993 --> 00:44:46,722
We hugged and kissed
that little prince
1239
00:44:46,795 --> 00:44:48,490
like there was no tomorrow.
1240
00:44:48,563 --> 00:44:50,030
We Fockerized him.
1241
00:44:51,066 --> 00:44:52,192
That's right.
1242
00:44:52,267 --> 00:44:54,394
Greggy practically slept
in our bed till he was 10.
1243
00:44:54,469 --> 00:44:55,458
Oh, my God!
1244
00:44:55,537 --> 00:44:57,266
Oh, I don't think
it was quite that long.
1245
00:44:57,338 --> 00:44:58,327
Yes, it was.
1246
00:44:58,406 --> 00:44:59,430
No, it wasn't 10.
1247
00:44:59,507 --> 00:45:01,133
Nine-and-a-half, at least.
1248
00:45:01,208 --> 00:45:02,334
Mom, I don't think so.
1249
00:45:02,409 --> 00:45:04,639
I didn't sleep
in their bed all that time.
1250
00:45:04,711 --> 00:45:06,144
(Roz)
Bernie, get the photo album.
1251
00:45:06,213 --> 00:45:07,339
I'm one step ahead of you.
1252
00:45:07,414 --> 00:45:10,247
No, no, no,
we're eating dinner, come on.
1253
00:45:11,185 --> 00:45:12,618
These are the curls
1254
00:45:12,686 --> 00:45:14,483
from his first trip
to the barbershop.
1255
00:45:14,555 --> 00:45:16,284
Nobody wants to see this.
1256
00:45:16,356 --> 00:45:18,221
Oh, and you kept
all of his baby teeth.
1257
00:45:18,292 --> 00:45:20,021
Look at his
darling little teeth,
1258
00:45:20,094 --> 00:45:22,221
isn't that sweet?
1259
00:45:22,296 --> 00:45:25,458
Uh-oh, somebody looks
very grumpy there.
1260
00:45:25,531 --> 00:45:27,123
Oh, that's Gay with the mohel.
1261
00:45:27,200 --> 00:45:28,292
The mohel?
No.
1262
00:45:28,367 --> 00:45:31,564
(Roz) He's the man who snips
the baby's little winkydink.
1263
00:45:31,637 --> 00:45:34,197
See, that's Greg getting
circumcised, right here.
1264
00:45:34,273 --> 00:45:36,332
We had the ceremony
at my parents' house
1265
00:45:36,409 --> 00:45:38,240
but there was a cold snap
and... Tell him.
1266
00:45:38,311 --> 00:45:39,437
The heater conked out.
1267
00:45:39,512 --> 00:45:40,536
Mom.
1268
00:45:40,613 --> 00:45:43,013
No matter how hard he tried,
the mohel couldn't coax
1269
00:45:43,082 --> 00:45:45,379
Greg's tiny little turtle
from its shell.
1270
00:45:45,450 --> 00:45:47,918
You know what? Let's not talk
about the tiny turtle, okay?
1271
00:45:47,986 --> 00:45:49,146
Let's... Th-this is dinner.
1272
00:45:49,221 --> 00:45:51,951
Honey, half the people
at this table have penises.
1273
00:45:52,023 --> 00:45:53,752
Mom, control yourself.
1274
00:45:53,825 --> 00:45:56,293
Roz, he's right.
You're embarrassing him.
1275
00:45:56,795 --> 00:45:58,160
Okay, I'm sorry.
1276
00:45:58,230 --> 00:46:01,358
Make a long story short, Jack,
he wound up with a semicirc.
1277
00:46:02,767 --> 00:46:03,791
[Giggling]
1278
00:46:03,869 --> 00:46:05,131
What's a semicirc?
1279
00:46:05,203 --> 00:46:06,465
I can't wait to hear this.
1280
00:46:06,538 --> 00:46:09,506
What? It's a cross between
an ant eater and...
1281
00:46:09,573 --> 00:46:11,040
A German Army helmet.
1282
00:46:11,108 --> 00:46:12,632
[All laughing]
1283
00:46:14,678 --> 00:46:16,168
But, honey... Oh!
1284
00:46:16,814 --> 00:46:19,476
You wanted to talk
about the wedding, right?
1285
00:46:21,585 --> 00:46:24,281
Don't tell me you kept
his umbilical cord.
1286
00:46:24,355 --> 00:46:26,653
Of course not,
that's Greg's foreskin.
1287
00:46:27,324 --> 00:46:30,292
All right, you know what? That's it.
That's... that's enough humiliation.
1288
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:31,657
Honey, stop.
We're having fun.
1289
00:46:31,728 --> 00:46:32,717
No, I'm not having fun.
1290
00:46:32,795 --> 00:46:33,659
Why deny us our memories?
1291
00:46:33,730 --> 00:46:34,719
Because we're done!
1292
00:46:35,298 --> 00:46:36,424
[All screaming]
1293
00:46:36,533 --> 00:46:37,522
[sizzling]
1294
00:46:43,039 --> 00:46:45,030
Anyone in the mood for Chinese?
1295
00:46:46,743 --> 00:46:47,732
You told me your first time
1296
00:46:48,678 --> 00:46:50,942
was with the Danish transfer
student in high school.
1297
00:46:51,014 --> 00:46:52,844
Yeah, well, you weren't
exactly forthcoming
1298
00:46:52,915 --> 00:46:54,280
about your engagement
with Kevin.
1299
00:46:54,349 --> 00:46:56,283
Yeah, well,
he wasn't my babysitter.
1300
00:46:56,351 --> 00:46:58,080
Okay, I should have
told you, all right.
1301
00:46:58,153 --> 00:46:59,711
Can we just let it go, please?
1302
00:46:59,788 --> 00:47:02,655
We both got enough stuff
to deal with this weekend.
1303
00:47:07,696 --> 00:47:08,788
Oh, hi, Jack.
1304
00:47:08,864 --> 00:47:09,888
Hello, Greg.
1305
00:47:09,965 --> 00:47:10,954
[Sighs]
1306
00:47:11,033 --> 00:47:12,227
Funny dinner, huh?
1307
00:47:13,202 --> 00:47:14,430
How do you mean?
1308
00:47:14,503 --> 00:47:17,266
I know that you are studying my
family like the frozen caveman.
1309
00:47:17,338 --> 00:47:19,397
So, I just, I don't want
you to be worried, okay?
1310
00:47:19,473 --> 00:47:22,101
I mean, they're a little quirky,
1311
00:47:22,176 --> 00:47:23,803
but they-they're
well-intentioned
1312
00:47:23,878 --> 00:47:25,869
and... and I think
they're just nervous and...
1313
00:47:25,947 --> 00:47:28,313
Greg, I am sure tomorrow
will be a better day.
1314
00:47:28,382 --> 00:47:29,747
(Bernie)
I'm sorry, ma'am.
1315
00:47:29,817 --> 00:47:31,682
I thought you
ordered room service.
1316
00:47:31,752 --> 00:47:33,049
Are you sure you don't want
1317
00:47:33,120 --> 00:47:35,054
any whipped cream
with your sundae?
1318
00:47:35,122 --> 00:47:36,111
[Roz screaming]
1319
00:47:36,190 --> 00:47:37,247
(Roz)
Bern, stop it!
1320
00:47:37,324 --> 00:47:39,417
Who's Bern?
I'm Chad, the bellhop.
1321
00:47:39,492 --> 00:47:41,255
Oh, no, come on,
we did that last week.
1322
00:47:41,328 --> 00:47:43,193
Can't you be
Sam the carpet-cleaning man?
1323
00:47:43,263 --> 00:47:45,993
It's illogical. Why would a
carpet cleaner have whipped cream?
1324
00:47:46,066 --> 00:47:47,192
Well, improvise, honey.
1325
00:47:47,267 --> 00:47:48,256
Good evening, miss.
1326
00:47:48,335 --> 00:47:49,666
I'm here to clean your carpet.
1327
00:47:49,736 --> 00:47:51,567
[Bernie and Roz laughing]
1328
00:47:51,638 --> 00:47:54,368
Do you mind if I put some
foam down on your rug?
1329
00:47:54,441 --> 00:47:55,772
I don't mind at all.
1330
00:47:55,842 --> 00:47:56,866
Good night, Greg.
1331
00:47:56,943 --> 00:47:57,967
Okay, sleep well, Jack.
1332
00:47:58,044 --> 00:48:00,307
(Roz) How long... how long
have you worked in this hotel?
1333
00:48:01,013 --> 00:48:03,208
It's time to put some snow
on your mountains.
1334
00:48:03,282 --> 00:48:05,011
Come on, I'm gonna get
some whipped cream
1335
00:48:05,084 --> 00:48:06,073
on those Tetons.
1336
00:48:06,151 --> 00:48:07,948
[Bernie and Roz laughing]
1337
00:48:08,020 --> 00:48:08,987
Guys!
1338
00:48:09,054 --> 00:48:10,954
(Roz) Come back in the
morning, tootsie roll.
1339
00:48:11,023 --> 00:48:13,014
(Bernie) Gay, you see the
cowboy hat on the door?
1340
00:48:13,092 --> 00:48:14,457
Cowboy hat is off the door!
1341
00:48:14,526 --> 00:48:15,925
No cowboy hat this weekend!
1342
00:48:15,995 --> 00:48:17,223
I'm coming in!
1343
00:48:17,296 --> 00:48:19,196
Just stop doing
what you're doing!
1344
00:48:20,199 --> 00:48:21,223
Oh!
1345
00:48:21,300 --> 00:48:22,527
Come on, man, you know
1346
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:24,932
what that cowboy hat
on the door means.
1347
00:48:25,003 --> 00:48:26,493
Will you please
help me out here?
1348
00:48:26,571 --> 00:48:28,436
What?
We're just being ourselves.
1349
00:48:28,506 --> 00:48:29,700
Mom, mom, please...
1350
00:48:29,774 --> 00:48:31,469
I think he's saying
not to be ourselves.
1351
00:48:31,542 --> 00:48:32,600
Yes, be yourselves
1352
00:48:32,677 --> 00:48:34,144
but be yourself in a way
1353
00:48:34,212 --> 00:48:36,442
that's a little less than
being your full selves, okay.
1354
00:48:36,514 --> 00:48:37,845
(Roz)
I don't understand this.
1355
00:48:37,915 --> 00:48:39,712
I mean, why you're so
afraid of this Jack?
1356
00:48:39,784 --> 00:48:41,945
You've been kissing his ass
ever since you got here.
1357
00:48:42,020 --> 00:48:43,351
Mom, I'm not afraid
of him, okay.
1358
00:48:43,421 --> 00:48:44,445
It's not true.
It is true.
1359
00:48:44,522 --> 00:48:46,751
(Bernie) I can't believe you
went duck-hunting with him.
1360
00:48:46,823 --> 00:48:48,222
Our people don't shoot ducks.
1361
00:48:48,292 --> 00:48:50,817
Just make Jack feel a little
more comfortable here, okay?
1362
00:48:50,894 --> 00:48:52,418
So you don't want us
to be ourselves?
1363
00:48:52,496 --> 00:48:54,521
No, I just don't want you
to break his RV, Dad,
1364
00:48:54,598 --> 00:48:56,657
and... and... and reveal
that I had sex with Isabel
1365
00:48:56,733 --> 00:48:59,566
and play weird sex games that
everybody can hear in the house.
1366
00:48:59,636 --> 00:49:00,660
Mom... Mom, please.
1367
00:49:00,737 --> 00:49:02,762
If you ask me,
it wouldn't be so bad
1368
00:49:02,839 --> 00:49:04,329
if your future in-laws
heard this.
1369
00:49:04,408 --> 00:49:05,397
Do me a favour.
1370
00:49:05,475 --> 00:49:08,102
Just don't therapize the Byrneses
this weekend at all, okay?
1371
00:49:08,177 --> 00:49:09,439
All I'm saying is,
1372
00:49:09,512 --> 00:49:11,036
a few minutes
of concentrated work
1373
00:49:11,113 --> 00:49:12,171
with him and Dina,
1374
00:49:12,248 --> 00:49:14,079
she could get him
to blow like Krakatoa.
1375
00:49:14,150 --> 00:49:16,209
Right, okay, yeah,
you know what?
1376
00:49:16,652 --> 00:49:18,552
One day, just give me
one day, okay,
1377
00:49:18,621 --> 00:49:19,918
without any complications.
1378
00:49:19,989 --> 00:49:21,889
We get through it,
everybody goes off,
1379
00:49:21,957 --> 00:49:23,686
we go on with our lives.
Can we do that?
1380
00:49:23,759 --> 00:49:25,192
All right.
You got it, dude.
1381
00:49:25,261 --> 00:49:26,455
Thank you, okay.
1382
00:49:26,529 --> 00:49:29,054
Hon, put the hat
back on the door, okay?
1383
00:49:29,131 --> 00:49:31,598
No mom.
No cowboy hat this weekend.
1384
00:49:31,700 --> 00:49:33,600
(Bernie) Okay, but
tonight doesn't count.
1385
00:49:33,735 --> 00:49:34,963
[Bernie hooting]
1386
00:49:35,036 --> 00:49:36,230
All aboard.
1387
00:49:36,371 --> 00:49:37,360
[Bernie laughing]
1388
00:49:47,816 --> 00:49:49,249
Morning, partner.
1389
00:49:51,686 --> 00:49:52,674
Morning.
1390
00:49:53,821 --> 00:49:54,947
Sleep okay?
1391
00:49:55,789 --> 00:49:57,689
I slept all right, thank you.
1392
00:50:04,098 --> 00:50:05,827
It's nice, all of us
being here together,
1393
00:50:05,899 --> 00:50:07,230
don't you think?
1394
00:50:08,402 --> 00:50:10,927
Bernard, do you mind
if I have some privacy?
1395
00:50:11,405 --> 00:50:12,565
Almost done.
1396
00:50:20,847 --> 00:50:22,474
Bernie,
this fritatta is wonderful.
1397
00:50:22,548 --> 00:50:23,537
What's in it?
1398
00:50:23,616 --> 00:50:25,811
Well, a lot of the taste comes
from this old skillet.
1399
00:50:25,885 --> 00:50:26,977
I've never washed it.
1400
00:50:27,053 --> 00:50:28,486
Hey, guys,
1401
00:50:28,654 --> 00:50:30,713
can I have everybody's
attention, please?
1402
00:50:30,790 --> 00:50:32,758
Gay, be back in a second.
1403
00:50:33,259 --> 00:50:35,284
Okay, Dad. All right.
1404
00:50:35,395 --> 00:50:37,021
Uh, so...
1405
00:50:37,529 --> 00:50:39,690
Mom, I know we've been...
We've been talking about
1406
00:50:39,765 --> 00:50:42,029
having the, uh,
wedding in October,
1407
00:50:42,100 --> 00:50:44,091
but Pam and I have been
doing a little thinkin'
1408
00:50:44,169 --> 00:50:45,534
and playing around
with some ideas
1409
00:50:45,604 --> 00:50:47,663
and, uh, we're thinking
of moving it up to June.
1410
00:50:47,739 --> 00:50:48,763
Nice.
1411
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:49,829
This June?
1412
00:50:49,908 --> 00:50:51,205
Yeah.
Yeah.
1413
00:50:51,276 --> 00:50:53,471
That's... that's in a month.
1414
00:50:53,645 --> 00:50:55,476
I always wanted
a spring wedding, you know.
1415
00:50:55,547 --> 00:50:58,038
Well, that's great, so we can
announce it at the party tonight.
1416
00:50:58,116 --> 00:50:59,105
Good idea.
1417
00:50:59,184 --> 00:51:00,207
Wait, what party?
1418
00:51:00,284 --> 00:51:01,273
Jack!
1419
00:51:01,786 --> 00:51:02,946
Let's play football!
1420
00:51:03,020 --> 00:51:04,419
Oh, your father
and I are throwing
1421
00:51:04,488 --> 00:51:05,921
a little engagement soiree
1422
00:51:05,990 --> 00:51:07,582
for you two lovebirds.
1423
00:51:07,658 --> 00:51:09,523
Look at that.
1424
00:51:09,593 --> 00:51:12,289
(Pam) That's so sweet. Thank you, guys.
1425
00:51:12,363 --> 00:51:14,661
I thought we were just having
a nice quiet dinner.
1426
00:51:14,732 --> 00:51:16,529
It was supposed
to be a surprise.
1427
00:51:16,600 --> 00:51:18,898
The phone keeps ringing,
the list keeps growing.
1428
00:51:18,969 --> 00:51:20,994
Yeah, now,
it's up to 50 Fockers.
1429
00:51:21,071 --> 00:51:23,504
When were you going to tell us
about this?
1430
00:51:23,573 --> 00:51:26,804
50 Fockers.
What could be better?
1431
00:51:27,510 --> 00:51:29,603
Dad, what are you doing?
We never play football.
1432
00:51:29,679 --> 00:51:31,613
I'm trying to cement
relationships here.
1433
00:51:31,681 --> 00:51:33,546
Jack said
he was into footy ball.
1434
00:51:33,616 --> 00:51:36,084
Let's show EI Stiffo
how we play the game.
1435
00:51:36,152 --> 00:51:37,141
Footy ball?
1436
00:51:37,220 --> 00:51:38,653
Come on, come on, let's play!
1437
00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:39,949
I'm feeling a little tired.
1438
00:51:40,023 --> 00:51:42,048
I think I'll sit it out
with Little Jack, okay?
1439
00:51:42,125 --> 00:51:43,752
Honey, you want me to
keep you company?
1440
00:51:43,827 --> 00:51:45,316
No, Dina, come on,
1441
00:51:45,394 --> 00:51:47,225
you and I will take on
Jack and Roz.
1442
00:51:47,296 --> 00:51:50,265
Come on, Jack, it'll be fun,
we'll swap wives.
1443
00:51:50,332 --> 00:51:53,165
Don't worry, you'll get her
back after the game.
1444
00:51:53,235 --> 00:51:54,224
[All laughing]
1445
00:51:54,303 --> 00:51:55,531
Fine, we'll play three on two.
1446
00:51:55,604 --> 00:51:57,504
But someone needs to be
official quarterback.
1447
00:51:57,573 --> 00:51:58,597
Gay goes both ways.
1448
00:51:58,674 --> 00:51:59,936
I'll bet he does.
1449
00:52:00,609 --> 00:52:01,598
[Cooing]
1450
00:52:02,211 --> 00:52:04,475
One, two. Hut.
1451
00:52:08,115 --> 00:52:09,605
[All chattering]
1452
00:52:25,633 --> 00:52:26,657
Come on.
1453
00:52:26,734 --> 00:52:29,327
I'll run a down-and-in,
draw in the defence,
1454
00:52:29,402 --> 00:52:31,996
then you'll hit Roz
here in the end zone for a TD.
1455
00:52:32,072 --> 00:52:34,165
What do you mean?
He hits me where with a what?
1456
00:52:34,241 --> 00:52:36,471
I'll throw you the ball,
you try to catch it, okay.
1457
00:52:36,543 --> 00:52:38,477
You want me to catch?
Yeah.
1458
00:52:38,545 --> 00:52:39,534
On two. Ready?
1459
00:52:39,613 --> 00:52:40,705
Yes.
1460
00:52:40,780 --> 00:52:42,714
Hut one, hut two, hike!
1461
00:52:42,949 --> 00:52:43,938
[Screams]
1462
00:52:44,918 --> 00:52:46,442
Come on, this way!
1463
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:47,919
That way, that way, that way.
1464
00:52:51,024 --> 00:52:52,012
[Roz screams]
1465
00:52:52,091 --> 00:52:53,080
[laughs]
1466
00:52:54,026 --> 00:52:55,687
You remember
that time in the park?
1467
00:52:55,761 --> 00:52:57,353
You remember that time
in the park?
1468
00:52:57,429 --> 00:52:59,226
Guys, come on, come on,
cut it out.
1469
00:52:59,465 --> 00:53:00,557
I'm so proud of you.
1470
00:53:00,733 --> 00:53:01,825
I caught the ball.
1471
00:53:01,901 --> 00:53:03,664
(Greg)
Mom, come on.
1472
00:53:03,736 --> 00:53:04,896
I caught the ball!
1473
00:53:04,970 --> 00:53:06,062
Come on, huddle up.
1474
00:53:06,138 --> 00:53:08,299
No, I'm bored. Here!
1475
00:53:08,374 --> 00:53:09,773
Dina, come on, let's go.
1476
00:53:09,842 --> 00:53:10,900
You want a spritzer?
1477
00:53:10,976 --> 00:53:12,739
What? Oh, a spritzer.
1478
00:53:12,811 --> 00:53:13,800
That sounds yummy.
1479
00:53:13,879 --> 00:53:15,869
All right, come on. Dad,
you got to focus, all right?
1480
00:53:15,947 --> 00:53:17,778
He's beating you
down the field every time.
1481
00:53:17,849 --> 00:53:19,214
You want me to be macho-wacho?
1482
00:53:19,284 --> 00:53:22,151
No. What? Have I ever said the
words macho-wacho to you in my life?
1483
00:53:22,220 --> 00:53:23,517
I got it.
What?
1484
00:53:23,588 --> 00:53:24,987
I won't disappoint you.
1485
00:53:25,924 --> 00:53:28,290
Okay, let's try again,
I'm gonna run a stop and go.
1486
00:53:28,359 --> 00:53:29,883
Fake the short pass,
then hit me here
1487
00:53:29,961 --> 00:53:31,326
in the end zone
with a Hail Mary.
1488
00:53:31,396 --> 00:53:32,385
Okay, got that.
1489
00:53:32,463 --> 00:53:33,794
Yeah, we keep running that play.
1490
00:53:33,865 --> 00:53:35,230
You want to mix it up a little?
1491
00:53:35,300 --> 00:53:37,426
No, I don't. I've exposed
Bernie's weakness
1492
00:53:37,501 --> 00:53:38,968
and I want to take advantage
of it.
1493
00:53:39,036 --> 00:53:41,971
Exposed his weakness.
Okay, okay. On four?
1494
00:53:42,039 --> 00:53:43,028
Four.
1495
00:53:54,651 --> 00:53:57,279
Just you and me, Jack.
Mano a mano.
1496
00:53:58,221 --> 00:54:00,347
You think you can take me,
Flowerman?
1497
00:54:00,423 --> 00:54:02,789
I'm pretty sure I can,
Mr. Mom.
1498
00:54:03,693 --> 00:54:05,558
You're going down, Bernsie-boy.
1499
00:54:05,628 --> 00:54:07,459
I'm going to
rearrange your bouquet.
1500
00:54:09,999 --> 00:54:11,330
Sell the pump fake, Greg,
1501
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:13,334
'cause that Focker's gonna bite.
1502
00:54:20,276 --> 00:54:21,640
[Inaudible]
1503
00:54:22,277 --> 00:54:23,744
[inaudible]
1504
00:54:24,312 --> 00:54:29,272
Hut one, hut two,
hut three, hut four. Hike!
1505
00:54:55,109 --> 00:54:56,098
[Grunting]
1506
00:54:56,210 --> 00:54:58,906
Oh, my God!
Are you all right?
1507
00:54:59,279 --> 00:55:00,439
[Screaming]
1508
00:55:00,514 --> 00:55:01,503
Shit!
1509
00:55:02,082 --> 00:55:03,071
[Chanting]
1510
00:55:05,085 --> 00:55:06,711
Hey, Jack, you okay?
1511
00:55:06,853 --> 00:55:08,684
I'm fine, Greg, thank you.
1512
00:55:08,755 --> 00:55:10,916
I see that kind of injury
all the time at the hospital.
1513
00:55:10,990 --> 00:55:13,015
I wish you'd let me
give you a quick exam.
1514
00:55:13,092 --> 00:55:15,151
No, I'm, I'm fine.
1515
00:55:15,228 --> 00:55:18,163
I told you I'll have my doctor
look at it when I get home.
1516
00:55:19,032 --> 00:55:20,021
Okay.
1517
00:55:20,633 --> 00:55:24,091
You know, it's amazing how your father
anticipated the pump fake like that.
1518
00:55:24,170 --> 00:55:26,764
It's almost like
he knew it was coming.
1519
00:55:27,573 --> 00:55:28,562
Hmm.
1520
00:55:28,775 --> 00:55:32,505
Well, he definitely takes
competition seriously.
1521
00:55:33,779 --> 00:55:36,009
How a man handles himself
on the football field
1522
00:55:36,081 --> 00:55:38,072
says a lot about his character.
1523
00:55:38,350 --> 00:55:39,715
Know what I mean?
1524
00:55:41,119 --> 00:55:42,245
Okay.
1525
00:55:46,291 --> 00:55:47,622
Hey.
Hey.
1526
00:55:47,693 --> 00:55:49,786
We got him, didn't we,
dude, huh?
1527
00:55:49,861 --> 00:55:51,453
Was he impressed?
1528
00:55:51,529 --> 00:55:53,520
No, Dad, he wasn't.
That was a really hard shot.
1529
00:55:53,597 --> 00:55:55,155
You could've hurt him.
1530
00:55:55,232 --> 00:55:57,029
I just wanted it
to be a fun game
1531
00:55:57,101 --> 00:55:58,432
but you wanted to win,
1532
00:55:58,502 --> 00:56:00,333
so, you know,
you got me all steamed up.
1533
00:56:00,404 --> 00:56:02,235
No, I asked you to play
a little defence,
1534
00:56:02,306 --> 00:56:04,433
I didn't ask you to turn it
into a blood sport.
1535
00:56:04,508 --> 00:56:06,738
I play too easy.
I play too hard.
1536
00:56:06,811 --> 00:56:09,006
What are you really
asking me to do, Gaylord?
1537
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:10,843
I'm not asking
anything of you, Dad.
1538
00:56:10,915 --> 00:56:12,906
Just... just go down there
and apologize to him, okay?
1539
00:56:12,983 --> 00:56:14,677
He thinks it was a cheap shot.
1540
00:56:14,751 --> 00:56:16,651
Sure. Okay.
Whatever you say.
1541
00:56:16,986 --> 00:56:17,975
Okay.
1542
00:56:19,923 --> 00:56:21,220
I can't win with this kid.
1543
00:56:21,291 --> 00:56:22,588
Honey... (Bernie) I can't.
1544
00:56:22,659 --> 00:56:23,683
It's okay.
1545
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:25,250
Hi, baby.
Hey.
1546
00:56:25,662 --> 00:56:29,291
So, how far along is Pam?
Hmm?
1547
00:56:29,599 --> 00:56:30,657
What?
1548
00:56:30,734 --> 00:56:32,998
Come on, honey, I knew it
the minute I saw her.
1549
00:56:33,069 --> 00:56:34,627
Her boobs are bigger.
She's hormonal.
1550
00:56:34,704 --> 00:56:36,671
No wine at dinner, no football.
1551
00:56:37,606 --> 00:56:39,335
She just found out yesterday.
1552
00:56:39,408 --> 00:56:41,035
[Screams]
1553
00:56:41,210 --> 00:56:42,802
Honey.
1554
00:56:42,945 --> 00:56:44,913
My bubeleh's
going to have a baby!
1555
00:56:44,980 --> 00:56:46,447
My bubeleh's
going to be a father!
1556
00:56:46,515 --> 00:56:47,675
Oh, my God.
1557
00:56:47,750 --> 00:56:49,718
Tell me, talk to me,
so this is so exciting.
1558
00:56:49,785 --> 00:56:50,774
[Shushing]
1559
00:56:51,186 --> 00:56:52,881
No.
You didn't tell Dad, did you?
1560
00:56:52,955 --> 00:56:54,388
No, not yet.
He's gonna plotz.
1561
00:56:54,456 --> 00:56:55,753
No, no, Mom, you can't tell him.
1562
00:56:55,824 --> 00:56:57,724
Why not? Because he can't keep a secret.
1563
00:56:57,793 --> 00:56:58,782
You know that.
1564
00:56:58,926 --> 00:56:59,984
You think Jack knows?
1565
00:57:00,061 --> 00:57:01,961
Are you kidding?
That guy's in such denial,
1566
00:57:02,029 --> 00:57:04,020
he still thinks his daughter
is still a virgin.
1567
00:57:04,098 --> 00:57:05,725
Yeah, I know,
he's very old-fashioned.
1568
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:07,927
That's why Pam can't tell
him till after the wedding.
1569
00:57:08,002 --> 00:57:09,993
That is ridiculous.
Mom, it isn't, believe me.
1570
00:57:10,071 --> 00:57:11,561
You don't know him like I do.
Fine.
1571
00:57:11,639 --> 00:57:13,129
My lips are sealed.
1572
00:57:13,207 --> 00:57:15,266
I am so excited
and thrilled for you.
1573
00:57:15,343 --> 00:57:16,935
[Laughing]
1574
00:57:17,011 --> 00:57:18,535
So happy for you two!
1575
00:57:19,447 --> 00:57:20,914
Did you plan this?
1576
00:57:20,982 --> 00:57:22,676
Uh, no,
it just sort of happened.
1577
00:57:22,749 --> 00:57:23,875
How did it happen?
1578
00:57:24,017 --> 00:57:25,143
How?
1579
00:57:25,318 --> 00:57:27,548
It just happened. You know...
You know how it happens.
1580
00:57:27,621 --> 00:57:29,418
I mean, I'm not going
into the details.
1581
00:57:29,489 --> 00:57:31,047
Honey, I love details.
1582
00:57:31,158 --> 00:57:33,285
Sorry. [Mumbling] All right. Okay.
1583
00:57:34,094 --> 00:57:35,118
Well, you know, honey,
1584
00:57:35,195 --> 00:57:37,254
many unplanned
pregnancies happen
1585
00:57:37,330 --> 00:57:40,663
because the man
is such a sexual dynamo
1586
00:57:40,934 --> 00:57:43,129
and the woman craves his sperm
1587
00:57:43,203 --> 00:57:45,397
on an unconscious
but very powerful level.
1588
00:57:45,571 --> 00:57:47,596
Hmm-mmm. Mom,
I am truly not comfortable
1589
00:57:47,673 --> 00:57:49,231
having this
conversation with you.
1590
00:57:49,308 --> 00:57:50,468
No?
No.
1591
00:57:50,543 --> 00:57:51,976
I've been saying it
since I was 11.
1592
00:57:52,044 --> 00:57:53,170
All right.
1593
00:57:53,245 --> 00:57:55,406
Love you.
Love you, too.
1594
00:57:56,549 --> 00:57:57,811
Uh, Jack!
1595
00:57:57,883 --> 00:57:59,544
What say you and me
go into town?
1596
00:57:59,618 --> 00:58:01,245
I got a guy who can fix your RV.
1597
00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:03,754
I'm in far too much
physical agony, Bernie.
1598
00:58:03,823 --> 00:58:04,881
Gee, I'm sorry,
1599
00:58:04,957 --> 00:58:06,651
but it'll be good
for you, you know, to,
1600
00:58:06,724 --> 00:58:08,282
you know, to get out and about.
1601
00:58:08,359 --> 00:58:11,260
Yeah. Perfect. I can take the
girls shopping in Coconut Grove.
1602
00:58:11,329 --> 00:58:12,523
Little Jack is on
1603
00:58:12,597 --> 00:58:14,155
a very specific
napping schedule.
1604
00:58:14,232 --> 00:58:15,392
I better stay here.
1605
00:58:15,466 --> 00:58:18,128
No, go. Greg can watch him.
1606
00:58:18,303 --> 00:58:19,395
Yeah, sure.
1607
00:58:19,470 --> 00:58:21,370
He has wonderful
parental instincts.
1608
00:58:21,439 --> 00:58:23,964
Dad, Greg deals with little
kids in the ER all the time.
1609
00:58:24,042 --> 00:58:26,602
It's true. They don't call me
Barry Poppins for nothing.
1610
00:58:26,678 --> 00:58:28,168
[All laughing]
1611
00:58:28,246 --> 00:58:29,735
(Roz)
That's so cute.
1612
00:58:29,847 --> 00:58:32,247
Why would someone call you
Barry Poppins?
1613
00:58:36,186 --> 00:58:37,448
They wouldn't.
1614
00:59:02,979 --> 00:59:05,709
Now, remember, Greg,
we're Ferberizing him.
1615
00:59:05,781 --> 00:59:07,476
So unless it's an emergency,
1616
00:59:07,550 --> 00:59:09,518
under no circumstances
should you pick him up
1617
00:59:09,585 --> 00:59:11,314
or coddle him in any way
when he cries.
1618
00:59:11,387 --> 00:59:12,547
Hmm-mmm. Okay.
1619
00:59:12,622 --> 00:59:14,555
He's learning to self-soothe,
1620
00:59:14,623 --> 00:59:17,091
that means no television,
no unapproved toys,
1621
00:59:17,158 --> 00:59:18,216
and most of all,
1622
00:59:18,293 --> 00:59:19,624
no monkey business of any kind.
1623
00:59:19,694 --> 00:59:20,956
Is that clear?
Mmm-hmm.
1624
00:59:21,029 --> 00:59:22,189
No monkey business.
Okay.
1625
00:59:22,264 --> 00:59:23,253
Jack.
1626
00:59:23,565 --> 00:59:25,089
Shall we get
a move on, pal-o-mino?
1627
00:59:25,166 --> 00:59:26,463
(Jack)
I'm ready.
1628
00:59:37,478 --> 00:59:38,843
I love this, Roz.
1629
00:59:38,979 --> 00:59:40,344
This is a great find.
1630
00:59:40,414 --> 00:59:41,779
Oh, good, and it's loose,
1631
00:59:41,849 --> 00:59:44,317
so you can wear it even
if you gain a few pounds.
1632
00:59:44,985 --> 00:59:47,044
Isn't that lovely?
1633
00:59:47,154 --> 00:59:48,883
Honey, are you all right?
1634
00:59:48,956 --> 00:59:50,355
You look a little flushed.
1635
00:59:50,424 --> 00:59:52,654
Oh, it's just the heat.
It takes some getting used to.
1636
00:59:52,726 --> 00:59:54,455
I'm fine.
I'm going to try this on.
1637
00:59:54,528 --> 00:59:55,654
Thank you, Roz.
1638
00:59:56,397 --> 00:59:57,864
Now, madame,
1639
00:59:57,932 --> 01:00:00,365
let's find something sexy
for the momma to wear.
1640
01:00:01,034 --> 01:00:02,126
Look at this little number.
1641
01:00:02,201 --> 01:00:03,190
Whoa!
1642
01:00:03,269 --> 01:00:05,260
I think this will get
Jack's blood flowing.
1643
01:00:05,338 --> 01:00:07,670
Jack would have a coronary.
1644
01:00:08,007 --> 01:00:09,201
I thought so.
1645
01:00:09,275 --> 01:00:11,743
Oh, Dina, talk to me.
1646
01:00:12,912 --> 01:00:14,971
What's really going on
with that man?
1647
01:00:15,048 --> 01:00:17,243
He seems very uptight.
1648
01:00:17,784 --> 01:00:19,775
Jack's always been
a little wound up.
1649
01:00:19,852 --> 01:00:21,716
His job was very stressful.
1650
01:00:22,020 --> 01:00:23,885
Being a florist is stressful?
1651
01:00:23,956 --> 01:00:25,856
There's more to it
than people think.
1652
01:00:25,924 --> 01:00:26,913
Mmm-hmm.
1653
01:00:27,092 --> 01:00:30,152
If you don't mind me asking,
how is your sex life?
1654
01:00:30,462 --> 01:00:31,724
[Laughs]
1655
01:00:31,797 --> 01:00:33,594
I can't tell you that.
1656
01:00:33,665 --> 01:00:35,462
What's the big deal?
I'm a professional.
1657
01:00:35,534 --> 01:00:37,161
Dina, I'm a sex therapist,
1658
01:00:37,235 --> 01:00:39,703
specializing in
senior sexuality.
1659
01:00:39,805 --> 01:00:42,296
I knew those weren't yoga mats.
1660
01:00:42,407 --> 01:00:43,771
[Both laughing]
1661
01:00:43,841 --> 01:00:46,742
We're not 25 any-anymore.
1662
01:00:46,811 --> 01:00:48,335
But you're not dead, either.
1663
01:00:48,412 --> 01:00:49,811
Lots of couples our age
1664
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:51,609
lack intimacy
in their marriages.
1665
01:00:51,682 --> 01:00:53,206
I didn't say
we weren't intimate.
1666
01:00:53,284 --> 01:00:56,048
There are special occasions.
You know, anniversaries and...
1667
01:00:57,722 --> 01:00:59,189
Well, on our anniversary.
1668
01:00:59,256 --> 01:01:00,883
Ay-ya-yay.
Nicht gut.
1669
01:01:00,958 --> 01:01:01,982
I beg your pardon.
1670
01:01:02,059 --> 01:01:03,219
Not good.
1671
01:01:03,294 --> 01:01:06,057
I think that I can help
you and Jack reconnect.
1672
01:01:06,296 --> 01:01:07,354
How?
1673
01:01:07,497 --> 01:01:08,555
Well,
1674
01:01:08,898 --> 01:01:11,423
it all starts
with a little bit of, uh,
1675
01:01:12,102 --> 01:01:14,627
how shall I say,
intimate contact.
1676
01:01:14,804 --> 01:01:15,998
Yeah.
Mmm-hmm.
1677
01:01:16,072 --> 01:01:17,334
My, that tingles.
1678
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:19,369
Every pleasure in the body
1679
01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:21,636
can be stimulated
through the ears.
1680
01:01:21,711 --> 01:01:22,700
[Moaning]
1681
01:01:22,979 --> 01:01:25,777
I'd give it a shot
with Jack tonight.
1682
01:01:25,849 --> 01:01:27,578
What's goin' on over here?
1683
01:01:28,051 --> 01:01:30,211
Nothing,
just having some girl talk.
1684
01:01:30,953 --> 01:01:31,942
Roz.
1685
01:01:32,321 --> 01:01:34,084
[Little Jack wailing]
1686
01:01:38,794 --> 01:01:40,056
[sighs]
1687
01:01:44,099 --> 01:01:46,294
[Little Jack continues wailing]
1688
01:02:00,448 --> 01:02:02,712
Okay. Here's the deal, LJ.
1689
01:02:02,784 --> 01:02:04,843
I'm going to give you
a few minutes of attention.
1690
01:02:04,919 --> 01:02:06,409
But you have to promise
1691
01:02:06,487 --> 01:02:08,751
that you don't tell
Grandpa Jack anything, okay?
1692
01:02:09,223 --> 01:02:10,588
(Greg)
All right. Good.
1693
01:02:10,691 --> 01:02:11,680
[Cooing]
1694
01:02:13,361 --> 01:02:15,089
Okay, I don't quite know
what that means,
1695
01:02:15,162 --> 01:02:16,561
but I'm going to trust you.
1696
01:02:17,831 --> 01:02:18,820
All right. Here we go.
1697
01:02:19,433 --> 01:02:22,698
Okay. Okay.
It's okay.
1698
01:02:24,571 --> 01:02:26,766
A little huggie-wuggie
never hurt anybody.
1699
01:02:29,009 --> 01:02:30,499
[Yelping]
1700
01:02:34,648 --> 01:02:36,945
I know we aren't
supposed to watch TV
1701
01:02:37,016 --> 01:02:39,985
but we won't tell
Grandpa Jack, will we?
1702
01:02:40,820 --> 01:02:42,651
Oh, look, look, it's Elmo.
1703
01:02:42,855 --> 01:02:44,413
Do you like fishes?
1704
01:02:44,557 --> 01:02:46,286
You don't like fishes?
1705
01:02:46,358 --> 01:02:47,689
No. All right.
1706
01:02:49,595 --> 01:02:51,529
Okay.
Okay.
1707
01:02:52,498 --> 01:02:53,897
[Sighing]
1708
01:02:53,999 --> 01:02:55,398
[doll squeaking]
1709
01:02:58,037 --> 01:02:58,695
[squeaking continues]
1710
01:02:58,770 --> 01:02:59,395
[panting]
1711
01:03:00,205 --> 01:03:01,832
Hey, I got an idea.
1712
01:03:01,906 --> 01:03:04,636
Let's see what pre-approved
genius toys Grandpa Jack has
1713
01:03:04,709 --> 01:03:06,802
in his big basket of fun. Mmm?
1714
01:03:07,879 --> 01:03:11,337
Oh, look, look,
it's a... it's a... an abacus.
1715
01:03:11,983 --> 01:03:14,577
Abacuses aren't that much fun,
are they?
1716
01:03:14,652 --> 01:03:17,177
I don't know
why people think they're fun.
1717
01:03:17,255 --> 01:03:20,747
Look at this! Look!
It's... it's bolts on a plank.
1718
01:03:22,192 --> 01:03:24,990
Hmm? Fun bolts.
No, not very fun.
1719
01:03:25,095 --> 01:03:26,084
Hey.
1720
01:03:26,830 --> 01:03:28,525
♪♪ [Music playing]
1721
01:03:28,599 --> 01:03:29,861
A little birdie!
1722
01:03:29,933 --> 01:03:31,230
Look, he sings.
1723
01:03:32,069 --> 01:03:34,833
♪ And if that
mockingbird don't sing ♪
1724
01:03:34,905 --> 01:03:39,035
♪ Then Greg is going to
buy you a diamond ring ♪
1725
01:03:39,109 --> 01:03:43,068
♪ And if that
diamond ring gets sold ♪
1726
01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:48,146
♪ Greg's gonna feel
like a big asshole ♪♪
1727
01:03:49,619 --> 01:03:52,144
Asshole.
1728
01:03:53,156 --> 01:03:55,124
No, no, no, you don't want
to say that word.
1729
01:03:55,191 --> 01:03:57,125
We don't want to say that.
That's a bad word.
1730
01:03:57,193 --> 01:03:58,717
Asshole.
1731
01:03:58,794 --> 01:03:59,954
No, no, no.
1732
01:04:01,164 --> 01:04:02,597
♪♪ [Music playing]
1733
01:04:03,499 --> 01:04:04,864
I thought this
was a repair shop.
1734
01:04:04,934 --> 01:04:06,161
Oh, this is better.
1735
01:04:06,234 --> 01:04:07,997
That's Isabel's son, Jorge.
1736
01:04:08,136 --> 01:04:09,899
15 years old,
he can fix anything.
1737
01:04:10,038 --> 01:04:11,266
Hey, Bernie.
1738
01:04:11,339 --> 01:04:12,601
[Speaking in Spanish]
1739
01:04:12,741 --> 01:04:14,732
Yo! Georgie boy!
1740
01:04:14,809 --> 01:04:17,744
So, I think you got a tear
in the bilateral valve.
1741
01:04:17,812 --> 01:04:18,972
15, huh?
1742
01:04:19,414 --> 01:04:20,472
Genius.
1743
01:04:20,782 --> 01:04:22,409
[Isabel speaking in Spanish]
1744
01:04:22,918 --> 01:04:24,545
Jorge, what did I tell you?
1745
01:04:24,619 --> 01:04:25,881
No more tinkering
1746
01:04:25,954 --> 01:04:27,615
until you finish
your science homework.
1747
01:04:27,689 --> 01:04:28,677
Oh.
1748
01:04:29,256 --> 01:04:30,883
Uh, I was going to finish it
1749
01:04:30,991 --> 01:04:34,757
but, uh, Mr. Gerson
is out with, uh, rickets.
1750
01:04:34,962 --> 01:04:36,691
He said definitely don't do it
1751
01:04:36,764 --> 01:04:38,664
until his rickets
are... are cured.
1752
01:04:38,732 --> 01:04:40,666
And, you know,
I... I... I really...
1753
01:04:40,734 --> 01:04:43,703
Who knows if he's ever
telling the truth?
1754
01:04:44,205 --> 01:04:45,331
(Isabel)
Bernie,
1755
01:04:46,340 --> 01:04:48,672
I made chimichangas.
You guys want?
1756
01:04:48,742 --> 01:04:51,642
Have you ever known me
to turn down a chimi?
1757
01:04:51,744 --> 01:04:53,575
Jack, you in the mood, amigo?
1758
01:04:53,646 --> 01:04:54,704
No, thanks.
1759
01:04:54,981 --> 01:04:56,573
[Birds chirping]
1760
01:04:58,484 --> 01:04:59,974
Why are you looking at me funny?
1761
01:05:00,119 --> 01:05:01,643
I... I... I said...
1762
01:05:01,721 --> 01:05:04,554
Oh, no, no. You just look
like somebody I know.
1763
01:05:06,092 --> 01:05:07,491
No, no, no, no.
1764
01:05:07,560 --> 01:05:09,619
Tadpole. Tadpole.
Can you say tadpole?
1765
01:05:09,696 --> 01:05:11,357
Mad bull.
1766
01:05:11,431 --> 01:05:12,659
Asshole.
1767
01:05:12,732 --> 01:05:13,925
No, Jack's mole.
1768
01:05:13,999 --> 01:05:15,796
'Cause Jack has
a big mole on his face.
1769
01:05:15,867 --> 01:05:17,232
Is your father the mechanic?
1770
01:05:17,336 --> 01:05:19,270
Oh, I... I don't know,
I never met him.
1771
01:05:19,338 --> 01:05:20,669
Never met your dad, huh?
1772
01:05:20,739 --> 01:05:22,206
Oh, that's unfortunate.
1773
01:05:22,708 --> 01:05:24,232
But very interesting.
1774
01:05:24,710 --> 01:05:26,735
Mind if I take a picture of you?
1775
01:05:26,878 --> 01:05:28,402
You know, just for fun.
1776
01:05:28,480 --> 01:05:29,742
Okay.
1777
01:05:30,682 --> 01:05:31,671
[Clicking]
1778
01:05:33,819 --> 01:05:36,582
♪ Mr. Moose likes to say
good words ♪
1779
01:05:36,654 --> 01:05:39,452
♪ He doesn't like
you to say bad words ♪♪
1780
01:05:39,523 --> 01:05:40,615
Asshole.
1781
01:05:40,691 --> 01:05:41,749
[Phone ringing]
1782
01:05:41,826 --> 01:05:43,794
Okay.
Just hang on a second there.
1783
01:05:44,562 --> 01:05:45,551
[Sobbing]
1784
01:05:48,065 --> 01:05:49,225
[Little Jack wailing]
1785
01:05:49,300 --> 01:05:50,494
Yeah.
Hello.
1786
01:05:50,568 --> 01:05:52,661
Hi, It's me. How's it
going with the little one?
1787
01:05:52,737 --> 01:05:56,468
Horribly. He's crying
and screaming, and cursing.
1788
01:05:56,540 --> 01:05:59,440
(Roz) That poor kid is
desperate for human contact.
1789
01:05:59,509 --> 01:06:01,409
Honey, you need to hold him,
and kiss him,
1790
01:06:01,478 --> 01:06:02,740
do whatever it takes.
1791
01:06:02,812 --> 01:06:04,211
I've been hugging him in secret,
1792
01:06:04,281 --> 01:06:06,181
feeding him chocolates, too.
1793
01:06:07,217 --> 01:06:08,206
[TV playing]
1794
01:06:15,058 --> 01:06:16,855
All animals have babies...
1795
01:06:18,361 --> 01:06:19,350
[chuckling]
1796
01:06:21,764 --> 01:06:23,789
Say hello to my little friend!
1797
01:06:26,869 --> 01:06:28,769
You know,
he's probably teething.
1798
01:06:28,837 --> 01:06:30,771
So put a dab of rum in his milk.
1799
01:06:30,839 --> 01:06:32,966
And it'll ease the pain,
he'll go to sleep.
1800
01:06:33,042 --> 01:06:34,339
You want me to give him a drink?
1801
01:06:34,410 --> 01:06:36,173
I'm talking,
less than a thimbleful.
1802
01:06:36,245 --> 01:06:37,735
(Roz) You don't want Jack coming home
1803
01:06:37,813 --> 01:06:39,337
to a screaming baby.
1804
01:06:44,118 --> 01:06:45,107
[Giggling]
1805
01:06:47,989 --> 01:06:50,389
Listen to your mother.
Goodbye. I love you.
1806
01:06:50,458 --> 01:06:51,857
All right, Mom.
1807
01:06:59,667 --> 01:07:03,330
Hey, Little Jack,
I got a surprise for you.
1808
01:07:04,972 --> 01:07:06,165
Little Jack?
1809
01:07:07,607 --> 01:07:09,632
Mr. Moose is looking for you.
1810
01:07:09,910 --> 01:07:12,344
Oh, shit!
Where the hell did he go?
1811
01:07:13,013 --> 01:07:15,277
LJ!
Little Jack!
1812
01:07:15,882 --> 01:07:16,871
[Jinx meowing]
1813
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:22,150
(Greg)
LJ! LJ!
1814
01:07:24,358 --> 01:07:27,259
Does that Jorge resemble
anyone you know?
1815
01:07:27,394 --> 01:07:28,485
No one I know.
1816
01:07:28,561 --> 01:07:29,550
Hmm.
1817
01:07:39,205 --> 01:07:41,400
There's something
you don't see every day.
1818
01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:42,600
[Panting]
1819
01:07:42,675 --> 01:07:45,109
Focker!
Focker!
1820
01:07:46,045 --> 01:07:48,138
Okay. I know this looks bad,
but I can explain it.
1821
01:07:48,214 --> 01:07:50,205
What the hell happened?
I said no monkey business.
1822
01:07:50,282 --> 01:07:51,612
No.
There was no monkey business.
1823
01:07:51,683 --> 01:07:52,945
No monkey business?
1824
01:07:53,017 --> 01:07:55,315
You're wearing my breast,
Little Jack is drinking,
1825
01:07:55,387 --> 01:07:56,376
Moses is sodomizing Jinx,
1826
01:07:56,454 --> 01:07:58,513
and you're telling me
there's no monkey business?
1827
01:07:58,590 --> 01:08:00,922
What is going on here?
You all right, LJ?
1828
01:08:00,992 --> 01:08:02,960
Hello! We're home!
Hey, guys.
1829
01:08:03,027 --> 01:08:04,187
(Jack)
Give me the bottle.
1830
01:08:04,262 --> 01:08:05,593
What's happened to Little Jack?
1831
01:08:05,663 --> 01:08:07,392
His hands are stuck
to the bottle of rum.
1832
01:08:07,465 --> 01:08:09,660
Thank you, Dad.
You bet they're stuck.
1833
01:08:09,734 --> 01:08:10,962
Greg, how did this happen?
1834
01:08:11,035 --> 01:08:12,525
And why are you wearing antlers?
1835
01:08:12,970 --> 01:08:14,597
It's very complicated.
1836
01:08:14,671 --> 01:08:16,332
It's just a little glue.
He's fine.
1837
01:08:16,407 --> 01:08:18,967
He's not fine. If he could use
his hands, he'd tell you himself.
1838
01:08:19,042 --> 01:08:20,771
All right. That's all right.
Come on.
1839
01:08:20,844 --> 01:08:22,573
Little Jack, honey,
are you okay?
1840
01:08:23,647 --> 01:08:24,636
Greg...
1841
01:08:24,715 --> 01:08:25,704
(Jack)
Dina. Pam.
1842
01:08:25,849 --> 01:08:28,044
(Pam) Yes, Dad, uh...
I'm coming. Little Jack.
1843
01:08:28,118 --> 01:08:30,586
Honey, I said a thimble,
not a bottle.
1844
01:08:34,758 --> 01:08:35,746
Oh, Greg.
1845
01:08:35,825 --> 01:08:36,849
Hey.
1846
01:08:37,760 --> 01:08:39,455
[Whispering]
How's the little guy doing?
1847
01:08:39,529 --> 01:08:41,520
[Whispering] Everything
is just as good as new.
1848
01:08:41,597 --> 01:08:42,689
Yeah.
1849
01:08:43,099 --> 01:08:44,088
Dad, come on.
1850
01:08:52,074 --> 01:08:54,440
(Roz) Is he all right? He's asleep.
1851
01:08:54,510 --> 01:08:56,569
I don't care if they
did call you Larry Poppins.
1852
01:08:56,646 --> 01:08:58,442
You are completely unfit
to handle a child.
1853
01:08:58,513 --> 01:08:59,537
It was Barry Poppins.
1854
01:08:59,614 --> 01:09:02,139
What kind of sick cocktail
were you gonna make my grandson?
1855
01:09:02,217 --> 01:09:03,445
Jack, the baby's teething.
1856
01:09:03,518 --> 01:09:05,748
I told Greg to give him
some rum to ease the pain.
1857
01:09:05,821 --> 01:09:07,186
It was your idea?
Yes.
1858
01:09:07,289 --> 01:09:09,189
What is wrong with you people?
1859
01:09:09,257 --> 01:09:11,282
I used to rub bourbon
on Denny's gums.
1860
01:09:11,359 --> 01:09:12,792
Yeah! Look what
happened to him.
1861
01:09:12,861 --> 01:09:15,489
Greg, you couldn't follow
a simple set of instructions?
1862
01:09:15,564 --> 01:09:16,622
Jack, he was screaming.
1863
01:09:16,698 --> 01:09:18,791
So I went in and gave him
a little attention. Okay?
1864
01:09:18,867 --> 01:09:20,095
He's learning to self-soothe.
1865
01:09:20,168 --> 01:09:22,635
These setbacks are disastrous
for his development.
1866
01:09:22,703 --> 01:09:24,068
The child is adorable,
1867
01:09:24,138 --> 01:09:26,163
but you're not raising
Little Buddha over here.
1868
01:09:26,240 --> 01:09:27,298
Mom.
What are you saying?
1869
01:09:27,374 --> 01:09:29,535
I'm saying that
I've seen that kid eat
1870
01:09:29,610 --> 01:09:31,339
at least 15 boogers
since he's been here
1871
01:09:31,412 --> 01:09:33,107
and I've got news for you, Jack,
1872
01:09:33,180 --> 01:09:34,943
prodigies don't eat
their own boogers.
1873
01:09:35,015 --> 01:09:37,347
And I have news for you.
Prodigies don't come in 10th place
1874
01:09:37,418 --> 01:09:38,578
every time either.
1875
01:09:38,652 --> 01:09:40,586
Okay, Dad. That's my fiancé.
1876
01:09:40,654 --> 01:09:42,019
I'm sorry.
I've never seen people
1877
01:09:42,089 --> 01:09:43,578
celebrate mediocrity
the way you do.
1878
01:09:43,656 --> 01:09:46,250
Because we love our son?
We hug our son?
1879
01:09:46,326 --> 01:09:47,850
Let's get down to it.
The truth is,
1880
01:09:47,927 --> 01:09:50,987
you're so concerned about
that Little Jack, but I think
1881
01:09:51,064 --> 01:09:52,588
that it's the Little Jack in you
1882
01:09:52,665 --> 01:09:54,132
who's crying out for a hug.
1883
01:09:55,502 --> 01:09:57,094
The Little Jack in me?
1884
01:09:58,905 --> 01:10:00,167
Jack, you have issues.
1885
01:10:00,240 --> 01:10:02,333
I'm trying to understand
why you run around
1886
01:10:02,408 --> 01:10:04,205
with a rubber boob
strapped to your chest.
1887
01:10:04,277 --> 01:10:05,538
Were you ever breastfed?
1888
01:10:05,611 --> 01:10:07,101
Mom, stop.
Key question.
1889
01:10:07,179 --> 01:10:08,271
My guess is no.
1890
01:10:08,347 --> 01:10:09,939
Spare me
the drugstore psychology.
1891
01:10:10,015 --> 01:10:11,607
[All chattering]
1892
01:10:11,750 --> 01:10:13,513
Everybody! All right.
Everybody just...
1893
01:10:13,585 --> 01:10:16,213
Everybody just stop, okay?
1894
01:10:16,655 --> 01:10:18,919
Jack, I am not going
to make any excuses. Yes,
1895
01:10:18,991 --> 01:10:21,391
Little Jack wouldn't stop
crying so I gave him some hugs
1896
01:10:21,460 --> 01:10:22,950
and I let him watch TV.
1897
01:10:23,028 --> 01:10:25,895
I went to answer the phone, I
was gone a second, I came back in,
1898
01:10:25,964 --> 01:10:28,124
he let himself out of the
playpen, he put on Scarface,
1899
01:10:28,199 --> 01:10:31,134
and he glued his hands
to the rum bottle. Okay?
1900
01:10:33,938 --> 01:10:35,030
That's it.
1901
01:10:35,106 --> 01:10:36,334
Oh. That's it
1902
01:10:36,407 --> 01:10:38,637
Greg just said, "That's it."
So I feel much better now.
1903
01:10:38,709 --> 01:10:39,937
Daddy, would you mind...
1904
01:10:40,011 --> 01:10:42,946
Please, Daddy. He made
an honest mistake. Let it go.
1905
01:10:43,014 --> 01:10:45,380
He's fine, Greg.
He's asleep.
1906
01:10:45,816 --> 01:10:47,283
[Little Jack mumbling]
1907
01:10:47,985 --> 01:10:49,145
He spoke.
1908
01:10:49,820 --> 01:10:51,548
(Little Jack)
Asshole.
1909
01:10:52,322 --> 01:10:53,311
What?
1910
01:10:54,491 --> 01:10:55,958
Did he say what I am thinking?
1911
01:10:56,026 --> 01:10:57,425
I think he did.
1912
01:10:58,662 --> 01:11:01,028
Little Jack,
what did you just say?
1913
01:11:01,431 --> 01:11:04,161
Asshole.
1914
01:11:07,037 --> 01:11:08,664
His first word?
1915
01:11:13,008 --> 01:11:15,033
It just slipped
out of my mouth. I...
1916
01:11:15,377 --> 01:11:16,708
He has a mind like a sponge.
1917
01:11:16,779 --> 01:11:17,803
That's enough.
1918
01:11:17,880 --> 01:11:19,745
I'm calling a family conference.
1919
01:11:19,815 --> 01:11:21,043
Oh, it's a great idea, Jack.
1920
01:11:21,116 --> 01:11:23,346
Let's finally get your
problems out on the table.
1921
01:11:23,419 --> 01:11:25,444
No, no, I mean with
my own family. Excuse us.
1922
01:11:25,521 --> 01:11:27,421
I'd like to talk to
Pam and Dina in private.
1923
01:11:27,489 --> 01:11:30,083
Of course, of course,
take your time.
1924
01:11:30,526 --> 01:11:31,550
(Roz)
Come on, honey.
1925
01:11:34,964 --> 01:11:35,987
I'm not so sure
1926
01:11:36,064 --> 01:11:37,395
this wedding is
such a good idea.
1927
01:11:37,465 --> 01:11:40,127
To say the least, I don't like
what I'm seeing from these Fockers.
1928
01:11:40,201 --> 01:11:41,190
What?
1929
01:11:41,269 --> 01:11:43,760
Has Greg ever mentioned
the name Jorge to you? Jor...
1930
01:11:43,871 --> 01:11:46,066
I don't know what you're
talking about. No, why?
1931
01:11:46,140 --> 01:11:47,732
Because I think
your fiancé may have
1932
01:11:47,809 --> 01:11:50,505
a few skeletons in his closet
that he is not telling you about.
1933
01:11:50,578 --> 01:11:52,944
And skeletons don't like
living in closets.
1934
01:11:53,014 --> 01:11:55,107
Oh, my God, Here we
go again. Dad, listen,
1935
01:11:55,183 --> 01:11:57,344
you know,
Greg has no skeletons. Okay?
1936
01:11:57,418 --> 01:11:58,782
Oh, really?
He does not.
1937
01:11:58,852 --> 01:12:00,285
Do you know that?
Yes, I know that.
1938
01:12:00,354 --> 01:12:01,651
Will you just... I'm not a child.
1939
01:12:01,722 --> 01:12:02,711
I see. She knows that.
1940
01:12:02,789 --> 01:12:03,813
This wedding will happen.
1941
01:12:03,890 --> 01:12:05,323
And the sooner you accept that,
1942
01:12:05,392 --> 01:12:07,360
the better it's going
to be for all of us.
1943
01:12:07,427 --> 01:12:08,519
I can't talk to you.
1944
01:12:08,662 --> 01:12:10,493
No.
Wait a second, sweetheart.
1945
01:12:11,798 --> 01:12:15,427
And I'm not so sure Roz
is a yoga instructor, either.
1946
01:12:15,502 --> 01:12:18,369
Jack, you promised
that you'd behave yourself.
1947
01:12:18,438 --> 01:12:19,871
And what you said
to those people
1948
01:12:19,940 --> 01:12:21,133
was really hurtful.
1949
01:12:21,207 --> 01:12:23,835
I think you should go up there
and apologize.
1950
01:12:23,909 --> 01:12:26,469
I'm not going to apologize
to them.
1951
01:12:26,545 --> 01:12:27,773
Jack.
1952
01:12:31,684 --> 01:12:34,152
A little birdie told me
1953
01:12:34,220 --> 01:12:36,313
that somebody's going to
be a daddy.
1954
01:12:36,489 --> 01:12:37,581
Mom!
1955
01:12:37,657 --> 01:12:39,181
Sorry, honey,
but look at that face.
1956
01:12:39,258 --> 01:12:40,486
How could I keep it a secret?
1957
01:12:40,559 --> 01:12:42,685
He's so excited
about being a grandpa.
1958
01:12:42,761 --> 01:12:44,023
(Bernie)
What should he call me?
1959
01:12:44,095 --> 01:12:45,653
[Both laughing]
How about Poppy?
1960
01:12:45,730 --> 01:12:48,358
You don't have
to have champagne, okay?
1961
01:12:48,433 --> 01:12:50,060
Why?
Jack's really angry.
1962
01:12:50,135 --> 01:12:51,295
I know he's mad,
1963
01:12:51,369 --> 01:12:52,859
but he's also
a little meshuggenah.
1964
01:12:52,937 --> 01:12:55,167
Come on, honey. How often do
we get to be grandparents?
1965
01:12:55,240 --> 01:12:56,332
We're having a toast.
1966
01:12:56,408 --> 01:12:58,035
Okay, fine,
but, Dad, this is a secret.
1967
01:12:58,109 --> 01:13:00,043
We can't tell Jack
till after we are married.
1968
01:13:00,111 --> 01:13:01,408
Why? We are honest people.
1969
01:13:01,479 --> 01:13:03,379
No! I can't stand
this secrecy anymore. Why?
1970
01:13:03,448 --> 01:13:04,415
[Shushing]
1971
01:13:04,482 --> 01:13:05,470
Be quiet.
1972
01:13:05,549 --> 01:13:06,982
Why should we diminish our joy
1973
01:13:07,051 --> 01:13:08,678
just because they live
in denial?
1974
01:13:08,752 --> 01:13:09,741
[Shushing]
1975
01:13:09,853 --> 01:13:10,877
Seriously.
1976
01:13:13,791 --> 01:13:15,816
I promised Pam, okay?
1977
01:13:16,093 --> 01:13:18,254
She thinks it'll break
his heart if he finds out.
1978
01:13:18,328 --> 01:13:20,091
I'm not gonna take a drink.
1979
01:13:20,164 --> 01:13:21,461
(Roz)
Your father's right.
1980
01:13:21,532 --> 01:13:23,261
This is the 21st century!
Married or not,
1981
01:13:23,333 --> 01:13:25,028
there's no shame in fatherhood!
1982
01:13:25,102 --> 01:13:27,127
This is the fruit of your loins.
1983
01:13:27,237 --> 01:13:28,760
(Bernie)
That is so beautiful.
1984
01:13:28,838 --> 01:13:30,305
Say that to him again.
1985
01:13:30,373 --> 01:13:31,931
(Roz) This is the fruit of your loins!
1986
01:13:32,008 --> 01:13:34,533
This is the fruit of your loins!
1987
01:13:34,610 --> 01:13:36,737
(Bernie) Okay. Let's toast
and let's make a sandwich,
1988
01:13:36,813 --> 01:13:38,371
and Mom wants to be the cheese.
1989
01:13:38,448 --> 01:13:39,472
[Gasps]
1990
01:13:39,549 --> 01:13:41,107
Jack Byrnes, what are you doing?
1991
01:13:41,184 --> 01:13:42,446
[Groaning]
1992
01:13:42,518 --> 01:13:44,577
What did you do?
1993
01:13:44,654 --> 01:13:46,781
You okay there, Jacko?
1994
01:13:46,856 --> 01:13:48,221
What's the matter What happened?
1995
01:13:48,291 --> 01:13:49,417
[Moaning]
1996
01:13:49,692 --> 01:13:52,182
I was, uh, coming to apologize
1997
01:13:52,494 --> 01:13:54,257
and my back went into spasm.
1998
01:13:54,329 --> 01:13:57,059
It's very tender from that
horrific football accident.
1999
01:13:57,132 --> 01:13:58,156
Yeah, I feel it.
2000
01:13:58,233 --> 01:13:59,825
My God, you're knotted
like a pretzel.
2001
01:13:59,901 --> 01:14:01,391
You must be
in a lot of pain, huh?
2002
01:14:01,470 --> 01:14:03,370
I don't mind pain.
I learn from pain.
2003
01:14:03,438 --> 01:14:05,338
Pain-shmain.
My fingers are magic.
2004
01:14:05,407 --> 01:14:07,238
Come on,
let me work out the kinks.
2005
01:14:07,342 --> 01:14:09,469
Oh. That's a
lovely offer, Jack.
2006
01:14:09,878 --> 01:14:11,368
Uh, no, thanks. I'll be fine.
2007
01:14:11,446 --> 01:14:14,278
My wife does
wonderful bodywork, Jack.
2008
01:14:14,348 --> 01:14:15,440
I don't think he needs it.
2009
01:14:18,352 --> 01:14:19,876
♪♪ [Music playing]
2010
01:14:20,721 --> 01:14:23,212
Okay, handsome, shirt off.
2011
01:14:23,324 --> 01:14:24,757
I'd rather have it on,
thank you.
2012
01:14:24,825 --> 01:14:26,190
Oh, no dice.
2013
01:14:26,427 --> 01:14:27,985
No, no, no.
It has to come off.
2014
01:14:28,062 --> 01:14:29,723
Ah, lovely.
2015
01:14:30,231 --> 01:14:31,755
You know,
2016
01:14:31,866 --> 01:14:34,061
most back pain is psychological.
2017
01:14:34,135 --> 01:14:36,295
We carry our emotional baggage
2018
01:14:36,369 --> 01:14:38,769
right here in our muscles.
2019
01:14:40,206 --> 01:14:42,299
I've been watching you, Jack.
2020
01:14:42,609 --> 01:14:44,804
Studying your body language.
2021
01:14:44,878 --> 01:14:47,847
And you're a very sensual man.
2022
01:14:48,181 --> 01:14:50,376
But I'm not sure
you realize that.
2023
01:14:50,517 --> 01:14:51,984
What are you doing?
2024
01:14:52,185 --> 01:14:54,517
(Roz) It's a technique
I learned in Hawaii.
2025
01:14:54,587 --> 01:14:56,919
It's a Lomi-Lomi massage
2026
01:14:56,990 --> 01:15:00,390
named after the gentle waves
of the Polynesian Sea.
2027
01:15:00,459 --> 01:15:04,361
The waves go in,
and the waves go out.
2028
01:15:04,763 --> 01:15:06,458
The waves go in.
2029
01:15:06,665 --> 01:15:07,654
[Jack grunts]
2030
01:15:07,866 --> 01:15:08,855
Whoops.
2031
01:15:08,934 --> 01:15:10,595
Hit some driftwood.
2032
01:15:12,004 --> 01:15:15,462
(Roz) Jack Byrnes, you are a caged lion.
2033
01:15:15,541 --> 01:15:18,442
But lions can't be captives
their entire lives.
2034
01:15:18,510 --> 01:15:20,443
They have to be free
to roam the bush,
2035
01:15:20,511 --> 01:15:22,240
free and wild.
2036
01:15:22,313 --> 01:15:25,146
Your wife is a hot, sexy tigress
2037
01:15:25,216 --> 01:15:27,150
and she's waiting for you
to pounce on her.
2038
01:15:27,218 --> 01:15:29,652
Let me hear you roar,
baby, roar.
2039
01:15:29,720 --> 01:15:30,880
[Jack groaning]
2040
01:15:30,955 --> 01:15:32,047
Your body is talking to me.
2041
01:15:32,123 --> 01:15:33,488
It's hungry for action.
2042
01:15:33,558 --> 01:15:34,786
I can feel it.
2043
01:15:34,859 --> 01:15:37,020
Unleash the beast inside you.
2044
01:15:37,094 --> 01:15:38,959
Mom, stop it.
You're hurting him.
2045
01:15:39,030 --> 01:15:41,328
I am not hurting him.
I am helping him.
2046
01:15:41,399 --> 01:15:43,127
Just don't... don't...
2047
01:15:43,200 --> 01:15:44,997
I don't think you
should move just yet.
2048
01:15:45,135 --> 01:15:47,433
Jack, come back
for an afternoon session.
2049
01:15:47,504 --> 01:15:48,493
It'll do you good.
2050
01:15:48,572 --> 01:15:49,630
What're you doing?
2051
01:15:49,706 --> 01:15:51,401
We were so close.
I could feel it.
2052
01:15:51,474 --> 01:15:52,736
I was getting through to him.
2053
01:15:52,809 --> 01:15:54,276
The guy doesn't
like to be touched.
2054
01:15:54,344 --> 01:15:55,504
Because he has
2055
01:15:55,579 --> 01:15:57,012
the emotional hide
of a rhinoceros.
2056
01:15:57,080 --> 01:15:58,877
Don't break him down.
Just let him be.
2057
01:15:58,949 --> 01:16:00,610
I was trying to do you a favour.
2058
01:16:00,684 --> 01:16:02,515
You were riding him
like Seabiscuit, Mom.
2059
01:16:03,019 --> 01:16:04,418
[Groaning]
2060
01:16:15,164 --> 01:16:16,153
[grunts]
2061
01:16:28,376 --> 01:16:29,365
[whirring]
2062
01:16:30,879 --> 01:16:31,868
[beeps]
2063
01:16:51,131 --> 01:16:53,224
(Jack)
Dial Foxtrot One.
2064
01:16:53,500 --> 01:16:54,933
[Phone autodialing]
2065
01:16:56,637 --> 01:16:58,161
[computer beeping]
2066
01:16:58,338 --> 01:16:59,737
(Foxtrot One)
Alpha, Foxtrot One.
2067
01:16:59,806 --> 01:17:00,830
(Jack)
Foxtrot One.
2068
01:17:00,908 --> 01:17:02,842
I need a full comparative
DNA analysis
2069
01:17:02,943 --> 01:17:04,911
on one Gaylord M Focker
2070
01:17:04,978 --> 01:17:06,707
and one Jorge Villalobos.
2071
01:17:06,780 --> 01:17:09,248
Translation,
George, House of the wolves.
2072
01:17:09,316 --> 01:17:11,045
It might take
a couple of weeks, Santa.
2073
01:17:11,118 --> 01:17:13,312
No good, Foxtrot One,
I need a 12-hour turnaround.
2074
01:17:13,386 --> 01:17:15,786
I'll secure the physical
evidence and the handoff will be
2075
01:17:15,855 --> 01:17:18,119
at Harry Focker's
Good Time Supper Club,
2076
01:17:18,190 --> 01:17:19,521
2100 hours tonight.
2077
01:17:19,592 --> 01:17:21,526
You got it, Santa.
Foxtrot One out.
2078
01:17:23,195 --> 01:17:24,423
[Phone rings]
2079
01:17:24,497 --> 01:17:25,521
Yello?
2080
01:17:25,598 --> 01:17:27,225
Bernie, this is Jack Byrnes.
2081
01:17:27,300 --> 01:17:29,325
Hey, Jack. Hey, where
are you calling from?
2082
01:17:29,402 --> 01:17:30,460
I'm in my RV.
2083
01:17:30,536 --> 01:17:32,663
Would you have Greg
meet me here in three minutes?
2084
01:17:32,738 --> 01:17:33,727
You're in your trailer?
2085
01:17:33,806 --> 01:17:34,897
Thank you, goodbye.
2086
01:17:34,973 --> 01:17:35,962
But...
2087
01:17:38,109 --> 01:17:39,269
Hey, Gaylord!
2088
01:17:39,711 --> 01:17:41,542
(Bernie) Jack wants you to meet him
2089
01:17:41,613 --> 01:17:43,979
in his trailer
in precisely three minutes.
2090
01:17:44,683 --> 01:17:46,617
And I have to tell you,
2091
01:17:46,751 --> 01:17:48,810
EI Stiffo was really
starting to freak me out.
2092
01:17:49,220 --> 01:17:50,653
Greg, wait, okay?
2093
01:17:50,722 --> 01:17:52,451
Listen, no matter
how hard he probes you,
2094
01:17:52,524 --> 01:17:54,515
you have to promise me
that you will not break
2095
01:17:54,592 --> 01:17:56,583
because I'm not ready
to tell him I'm pregnant.
2096
01:17:56,661 --> 01:17:57,649
Hey, honey.
2097
01:17:57,728 --> 01:17:58,786
Honey.
What? What?
2098
01:17:58,862 --> 01:18:00,227
Let him probe,
2099
01:18:00,297 --> 01:18:02,128
'cause he's probing
a brick wall.
2100
01:18:04,768 --> 01:18:05,792
(Roz)
Now show me how
2101
01:18:05,869 --> 01:18:08,030
you would like
a romantic evening to go.
2102
01:18:08,339 --> 01:18:11,069
Oh, Jack, wine and candles?
2103
01:18:11,141 --> 01:18:13,109
Gosh, it's not
even our anniversary.
2104
01:18:13,177 --> 01:18:14,838
Come here, hot stuff.
2105
01:18:16,246 --> 01:18:19,908
[Moaning]
Yes, yes. Oh, Jack.
2106
01:18:21,784 --> 01:18:22,773
[Door closing]
2107
01:18:22,852 --> 01:18:24,012
(Greg)
Jack?
2108
01:18:24,087 --> 01:18:25,816
(Jack)
Down here, under the bed.
2109
01:18:29,525 --> 01:18:31,015
[Bed whirring]
2110
01:18:32,795 --> 01:18:34,194
Down here, Greg.
2111
01:18:37,500 --> 01:18:38,660
Wow.
2112
01:18:38,735 --> 01:18:39,793
Have a seat.
2113
01:18:41,771 --> 01:18:43,567
Watch the panel.
2114
01:18:44,806 --> 01:18:46,273
This is incredible.
2115
01:18:57,953 --> 01:19:01,753
So this is like your, uh,
mobile command centre
2116
01:19:02,157 --> 01:19:04,454
for all your spy activities?
2117
01:19:04,525 --> 01:19:07,358
Mainly a secure space for me
to spend some alone time
2118
01:19:07,428 --> 01:19:08,918
and reflect on my thoughts.
2119
01:19:08,996 --> 01:19:11,157
Mmm.
Very cool.
2120
01:19:12,199 --> 01:19:13,496
Greg.
Yeah?
2121
01:19:13,834 --> 01:19:15,267
You'll recall,
2122
01:19:15,336 --> 01:19:17,770
we had a discussion earlier in
the week regarding my feelings
2123
01:19:17,838 --> 01:19:20,602
about family, legacies,
children and so forth.
2124
01:19:20,674 --> 01:19:22,403
Oh, yeah, of course I recall.
Yeah.
2125
01:19:23,978 --> 01:19:26,139
I'm going to just ask you once.
2126
01:19:27,313 --> 01:19:29,144
Is there anything
you want to tell me
2127
01:19:29,215 --> 01:19:31,649
regarding things
that might have happened?
2128
01:19:31,718 --> 01:19:33,743
Unplanned things?
2129
01:19:34,854 --> 01:19:37,914
Things involving
the fruit of your loins?
2130
01:19:41,394 --> 01:19:42,383
No.
2131
01:19:51,437 --> 01:19:54,429
Well, if he's not going
to admit it on his own...
2132
01:20:04,716 --> 01:20:06,047
[phone autodialing]
2133
01:20:08,754 --> 01:20:09,743
(Jorge)
Hello?
2134
01:20:09,822 --> 01:20:11,449
Hello, Jorge?
2135
01:20:11,523 --> 01:20:12,989
It's Jack Byrnes, remember me?
2136
01:20:13,124 --> 01:20:14,591
Oh, yeah.
Sure.
2137
01:20:14,659 --> 01:20:16,092
You came to
the house with Bernie.
2138
01:20:16,160 --> 01:20:17,422
You had that fancy camera pen.
2139
01:20:17,495 --> 01:20:18,894
Yeah, that's right.
2140
01:20:19,230 --> 01:20:21,130
Listen, do you have
any plans tonight?
2141
01:20:21,199 --> 01:20:22,928
Uh, no.
2142
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:25,161
Good, 'cause I'd like to
invite you to a party.
2143
01:20:33,411 --> 01:20:35,503
♪ You could feel like dancin' ♪
2144
01:20:35,579 --> 01:20:36,739
♪ Dance ♪
2145
01:20:38,148 --> 01:20:40,708
♪ And you could feel
like fallin' ♪
2146
01:20:40,784 --> 01:20:41,409
♪ Fall ♪
2147
01:20:42,152 --> 01:20:43,517
♪ 'Cause it would
be all right ♪♪
2148
01:20:43,587 --> 01:20:45,555
Hey.
Sweetie.
2149
01:20:45,622 --> 01:20:46,611
Having a good time?
2150
01:20:46,690 --> 01:20:47,782
Uh, no, not really.
2151
01:20:47,858 --> 01:20:49,189
No?
2152
01:20:49,259 --> 01:20:51,750
Hey, listen, sweetie, did you
tell your mother I'm pregnant?
2153
01:20:51,828 --> 01:20:53,728
Because she keeps touching
my stomach
2154
01:20:53,797 --> 01:20:55,264
and smiling like that.
2155
01:20:55,332 --> 01:20:57,925
Yeah. No, I didn't tell her.
She just, she guessed.
2156
01:20:58,000 --> 01:20:59,160
She what?
2157
01:20:59,235 --> 01:21:00,532
Yeah, and then she told my dad.
2158
01:21:00,603 --> 01:21:01,729
Oh, my God.
2159
01:21:02,505 --> 01:21:04,473
Stop it, Bernie.
Bernie, stop.
2160
01:21:05,074 --> 01:21:06,336
It's not funny.
2161
01:21:06,442 --> 01:21:07,670
(Pam)
I told my mom.
2162
01:21:07,743 --> 01:21:08,710
What?
2163
01:21:08,777 --> 01:21:09,835
Yeah.
2164
01:21:09,912 --> 01:21:10,936
What?
Why'd you...
2165
01:21:11,013 --> 01:21:12,412
Your dad
will definitely find out.
2166
01:21:12,481 --> 01:21:14,415
She knows my dad.
She'd never say a word.
2167
01:21:14,483 --> 01:21:16,144
No, no.
But he's very suspicious.
2168
01:21:16,218 --> 01:21:17,549
Greg. Hi.
Hey.
2169
01:21:17,620 --> 01:21:20,452
Hi. Honey, would you take this
to your mother?
2170
01:21:20,522 --> 01:21:22,012
It's a wine spritzer.
2171
01:21:22,090 --> 01:21:23,523
That's all she drinks now.
2172
01:21:24,459 --> 01:21:26,518
You boys have fun.
2173
01:21:28,329 --> 01:21:29,591
[Sighs]
2174
01:21:30,698 --> 01:21:32,461
Nice.
Nice party.
2175
01:21:32,534 --> 01:21:34,263
Isn't it? Yeah, it is. It's nice.
2176
01:21:34,335 --> 01:21:36,803
It's got a nice festive vibe.
2177
01:21:37,639 --> 01:21:39,903
You met some of the, uh,
some of the cousins?
2178
01:21:39,974 --> 01:21:42,407
I met some. Yes.
I met some, um...
2179
01:21:43,610 --> 01:21:44,668
Dom.
2180
01:21:44,745 --> 01:21:45,769
Yeah, Dom Focker.
2181
01:21:45,846 --> 01:21:47,871
That's my dad's, uh,
first cousin.
2182
01:21:47,981 --> 01:21:50,347
Did you meet his kids,
Randy and Horny?
2183
01:21:51,084 --> 01:21:53,985
I've met Randy and Horny.
Yes.
2184
01:21:54,054 --> 01:21:55,988
Come on. I want to
introduce you to somebody.
2185
01:21:56,056 --> 01:21:57,045
Come on.
2186
01:21:58,992 --> 01:22:00,323
Oh, there he is.
2187
01:22:01,128 --> 01:22:02,993
Glad you could make it, Jorge.
2188
01:22:03,063 --> 01:22:06,327
Oh, hey,
thanks for the invite, Mr. B.
2189
01:22:06,399 --> 01:22:09,334
Greg, this is Jorge Villalobos.
2190
01:22:09,402 --> 01:22:10,494
Hey.
2191
01:22:10,570 --> 01:22:11,594
Hey, how you doing?
2192
01:22:11,671 --> 01:22:13,263
Isabel's son.
2193
01:22:13,339 --> 01:22:16,206
Oh, I didn't realize
Isabel had a son.
2194
01:22:17,210 --> 01:22:18,438
When did she get married?
2195
01:22:18,511 --> 01:22:19,705
She-she's not married.
2196
01:22:19,779 --> 01:22:21,974
Oh, he's never met his father.
2197
01:22:23,382 --> 01:22:24,371
Oh.
2198
01:22:25,218 --> 01:22:26,310
I'm sorry.
2199
01:22:26,385 --> 01:22:28,045
That's, I mean,
that's... that's too bad.
2200
01:22:28,119 --> 01:22:29,950
Oh, no, no, it's... it's cool.
2201
01:22:30,021 --> 01:22:32,581
My mom said my dad
wasn't like, mature enough
2202
01:22:32,657 --> 01:22:35,217
to deal with a kid,
anyway, so, yeah.
2203
01:22:36,194 --> 01:22:37,991
So how do you
guys know each other?
2204
01:22:38,063 --> 01:22:40,623
Oh, this young man
is quite the mechanic.
2205
01:22:40,699 --> 01:22:43,361
And he's only 15 years old.
Isn't that impressive?
2206
01:22:43,435 --> 01:22:44,868
Really? You're 15?
2207
01:22:44,936 --> 01:22:46,836
Yeah.
That is impressive.
2208
01:22:47,239 --> 01:22:48,672
He's a handsome kid, huh?
2209
01:22:48,740 --> 01:22:49,831
Yeah.
2210
01:22:49,907 --> 01:22:53,035
Almost like a young,
half-Hispanic Marlon Brando.
2211
01:22:55,846 --> 01:22:56,835
Well,
2212
01:22:57,314 --> 01:22:59,441
I'll leave you two guys to talk.
2213
01:22:59,516 --> 01:23:01,643
You probably have
a lot in common.
2214
01:23:09,193 --> 01:23:11,592
Well, hmm.
2215
01:23:12,462 --> 01:23:15,556
So you're 15.
2216
01:23:37,286 --> 01:23:40,187
Come on, let's conga.
2217
01:23:40,289 --> 01:23:42,450
Did you order
the Tom Collins, sir?
2218
01:23:42,524 --> 01:23:44,685
Is it made with
fresh lemon juice?
2219
01:23:44,760 --> 01:23:46,057
They're Bermuda lemons, sir.
2220
01:23:46,128 --> 01:23:47,493
And I squeezed them myself.
2221
01:23:51,133 --> 01:23:52,498
Stay safe, Santa.
2222
01:23:55,237 --> 01:23:56,726
♪♪ [Music playing]
2223
01:23:57,638 --> 01:23:59,868
[all cheering]
2224
01:24:13,988 --> 01:24:15,285
I mean, it's romantic out here,
2225
01:24:15,356 --> 01:24:16,823
don't you think?
2226
01:24:17,425 --> 01:24:19,358
The moon, the sea,
2227
01:24:19,793 --> 01:24:20,817
isn't it nice?
2228
01:24:20,894 --> 01:24:22,225
Hmm.
Yeah, it's nice.
2229
01:24:24,597 --> 01:24:26,895
You look very handsome
tonight, Jack.
2230
01:24:26,966 --> 01:24:28,797
Oh.
Thank you, honey.
2231
01:24:32,972 --> 01:24:34,872
What are you doing to my ears?
2232
01:24:35,875 --> 01:24:37,206
Nothing.
2233
01:24:41,480 --> 01:24:42,469
(Man)
Hey!
2234
01:24:43,115 --> 01:24:45,413
I have to go to the bathroom,
I'll be right back.
2235
01:24:45,484 --> 01:24:46,815
Okay.
2236
01:24:48,187 --> 01:24:49,848
♪♪ [Conga drums beating]
2237
01:24:55,861 --> 01:24:56,987
Hello, Greg.
2238
01:24:57,062 --> 01:24:58,086
Hi, Jack.
2239
01:25:01,967 --> 01:25:03,332
Did you have a nice conversation
2240
01:25:03,402 --> 01:25:04,891
with your son?
2241
01:25:05,236 --> 01:25:07,727
Jack, I've never even met
that kid before.
2242
01:25:08,439 --> 01:25:11,272
Focker, you've been covering
this up from the very beginning.
2243
01:25:11,342 --> 01:25:12,832
No, I haven't, Jack.
2244
01:25:12,910 --> 01:25:15,435
It's just another one
of your crazy theories.
2245
01:25:15,513 --> 01:25:16,502
Greg.
2246
01:25:16,848 --> 01:25:18,440
You're still in
the circle of trust,
2247
01:25:18,516 --> 01:25:20,916
so I'm gonna give you
one more chance.
2248
01:25:21,252 --> 01:25:22,844
Are you ready to admit
2249
01:25:22,920 --> 01:25:25,252
that you've been hiding this
from Pam?
2250
01:25:25,323 --> 01:25:26,812
No, I haven't.
2251
01:25:26,890 --> 01:25:28,118
You're not hiding anything?
2252
01:25:28,191 --> 01:25:30,250
No, all right?
2253
01:25:30,761 --> 01:25:32,251
[Sighs]
Oh, Greg.
2254
01:25:34,865 --> 01:25:37,629
What are you holding?
What's in your hand?
2255
01:25:37,701 --> 01:25:38,690
Nothing.
2256
01:25:38,769 --> 01:25:40,703
Jack, I can see it
in the mirror. What is it?
2257
01:25:40,771 --> 01:25:42,136
You got something in your hand.
2258
01:25:42,205 --> 01:25:43,604
Don't worry about it, Greg.
2259
01:25:43,673 --> 01:25:45,038
Is that a needle?
2260
01:25:45,242 --> 01:25:46,800
Yes, it is.
2261
01:25:47,944 --> 01:25:49,069
You seem tense.
2262
01:25:49,145 --> 01:25:50,772
I was going to
offer you a sedative.
2263
01:25:51,814 --> 01:25:53,008
You're joking, right?
2264
01:25:53,082 --> 01:25:54,242
No, I'm not.
2265
01:25:55,851 --> 01:25:57,079
Jack.
2266
01:25:57,153 --> 01:25:58,984
Is that tartar sauce
on your shoulder?
2267
01:25:59,054 --> 01:26:00,146
Tartar sauce?
2268
01:26:00,222 --> 01:26:01,621
[Yells]
2269
01:26:04,260 --> 01:26:05,386
Why?
2270
01:26:06,595 --> 01:26:07,857
You've been injected
2271
01:26:07,930 --> 01:26:10,125
with a highly concentrated
dose of sodium pentothal.
2272
01:26:10,199 --> 01:26:11,563
Street name: Truth serum.
2273
01:26:11,633 --> 01:26:13,533
You won't recall this
in a few minutes
2274
01:26:13,601 --> 01:26:15,466
and tonight, for the
first time in your life,
2275
01:26:15,537 --> 01:26:16,629
my young friend,
2276
01:26:16,704 --> 01:26:18,763
you are going to be honest.
2277
01:26:20,975 --> 01:26:22,670
Keep the pressure on it.
2278
01:26:23,178 --> 01:26:25,510
Get down, Little Jack.
Get funky.
2279
01:26:29,083 --> 01:26:30,072
Oh.
2280
01:26:30,285 --> 01:26:31,309
Hey there, preggers.
2281
01:26:31,386 --> 01:26:32,410
Quiet.
2282
01:26:32,487 --> 01:26:33,613
How're you doin'?
2283
01:26:33,688 --> 01:26:34,676
Fine, where've you been?
2284
01:26:34,755 --> 01:26:38,623
I went to the bathroom to pee
and now I'm talking to you,
2285
01:26:38,692 --> 01:26:41,183
my fiancée, who I've delayed
marrying for two years
2286
01:26:41,261 --> 01:26:43,627
because I didn't want
our parents to meet.
2287
01:26:43,764 --> 01:26:44,924
[Cooing]
2288
01:26:44,998 --> 01:26:46,022
What?
2289
01:26:46,099 --> 01:26:47,088
What?
2290
01:26:47,634 --> 01:26:48,794
What?
2291
01:26:49,169 --> 01:26:50,966
You don't like me?
It's okay.
2292
01:26:51,038 --> 01:26:52,972
I don't like your
little red outfit.
2293
01:26:53,040 --> 01:26:55,099
Makes you look
like a little demon-baby.
2294
01:26:55,175 --> 01:26:56,402
Maybe I'll get you
2295
01:26:56,476 --> 01:26:58,068
a little pitchfork
for Christmas, huh,
2296
01:26:58,144 --> 01:27:00,112
so we can put you
on a can of Underwood ham.
2297
01:27:00,179 --> 01:27:02,739
I'm sorry that I can't make
little "poop" sounds
2298
01:27:02,815 --> 01:27:04,840
and I can't make little things
2299
01:27:04,917 --> 01:27:06,885
that tell people
when I wanna do things.
2300
01:27:06,953 --> 01:27:08,250
And guess what?
2301
01:27:08,321 --> 01:27:09,618
I can make a sign to you, too.
2302
01:27:09,689 --> 01:27:11,281
How's that for a sign?
2303
01:27:11,457 --> 01:27:12,515
[All clapping]
2304
01:27:14,527 --> 01:27:16,859
Uh-oh. Look, Bernie's gone up
on the stage. Come.
2305
01:27:16,929 --> 01:27:19,328
Now, to say a few words,
2306
01:27:19,397 --> 01:27:23,959
one of the great
registered nurses of all time,
2307
01:27:24,035 --> 01:27:25,832
Gaylord Myron Focker.
2308
01:27:25,904 --> 01:27:26,962
[All cheering]
2309
01:27:27,038 --> 01:27:28,369
Come on,
let's give it up to Gay.
2310
01:27:28,440 --> 01:27:29,907
Give it up to him.
2311
01:27:29,975 --> 01:27:30,964
[Man hooting]
2312
01:27:34,079 --> 01:27:36,980
Bernie Focker!
2313
01:27:37,048 --> 01:27:39,380
I love the shirt, Dad.
2314
01:27:40,051 --> 01:27:42,610
Thank you. All right.
2315
01:27:42,987 --> 01:27:45,217
It's great to be here
with all of you
2316
01:27:45,289 --> 01:27:48,986
as I am about to set sail
2317
01:27:49,059 --> 01:27:51,186
in my ship of life,
2318
01:27:51,262 --> 01:27:53,321
with my first mate,
2319
01:27:53,397 --> 01:27:55,627
the beautiful young
blonde lass over there.
2320
01:27:55,699 --> 01:27:56,688
Hey, baby.
2321
01:27:57,568 --> 01:27:58,933
I love you, honey.
2322
01:28:02,540 --> 01:28:03,801
I still masturbate to Pam.
2323
01:28:03,873 --> 01:28:04,897
[All gasping]
2324
01:28:04,974 --> 01:28:05,998
Greg.
2325
01:28:06,075 --> 01:28:07,064
What? It's true.
2326
01:28:07,143 --> 01:28:08,542
Honey, what?
Come on, you're hot.
2327
01:28:08,611 --> 01:28:09,873
Look at her.
2328
01:28:10,046 --> 01:28:11,911
Look at those boobs. Man!
2329
01:28:12,415 --> 01:28:13,814
I just wanna...
2330
01:28:13,883 --> 01:28:15,976
I just wanna lather them up
with soap and just...
2331
01:28:17,320 --> 01:28:18,685
I love it.
2332
01:28:18,755 --> 01:28:21,280
Man, I just wanna... just wanna
nestle in there
2333
01:28:21,424 --> 01:28:24,359
and just take
a little vacation in there.
2334
01:28:25,428 --> 01:28:26,860
Honey.
2335
01:28:26,995 --> 01:28:28,462
Honey, what? I'm sorry.
2336
01:28:28,530 --> 01:28:30,828
Okay, excuse me
for you being perfect.
2337
01:28:30,899 --> 01:28:32,366
Hey, you know who else is great?
2338
01:28:32,501 --> 01:28:33,991
That woman over there.
2339
01:28:34,069 --> 01:28:36,833
My future mother-in-law,
Dina Byrnes.
2340
01:28:37,172 --> 01:28:38,639
♪ Dina, Dina, fofina ♪
2341
01:28:38,707 --> 01:28:40,299
♪ Banana fana fofina ♪
2342
01:28:40,375 --> 01:28:42,673
♪ I love Di-Di-Dina ♪
2343
01:28:42,744 --> 01:28:44,439
♪ Byrnes ♪♪
2344
01:28:45,347 --> 01:28:47,144
You know, they say
if you really wanna know
2345
01:28:47,215 --> 01:28:48,375
what a woman will look like
2346
01:28:48,450 --> 01:28:50,679
when she gets older, you
should look at her mother.
2347
01:28:50,751 --> 01:28:53,811
Well, I'm a lookin'
and I'm a likin'.
2348
01:28:54,355 --> 01:28:55,379
[Greg whooping]
2349
01:28:55,456 --> 01:28:57,356
Look at her! Sweetness!
2350
01:28:57,425 --> 01:28:58,414
[All mumbling]
2351
01:28:58,693 --> 01:28:59,682
Hmm-mmm.
2352
01:29:00,027 --> 01:29:02,655
Good genes,
the Byrnes gene pool.
2353
01:29:04,165 --> 01:29:05,598
Hey, hey, you.
2354
01:29:06,100 --> 01:29:07,294
Yeah, you.
2355
01:29:07,401 --> 01:29:08,390
Hold on.
2356
01:29:08,469 --> 01:29:09,902
Pam, I gotta tell you something
2357
01:29:09,971 --> 01:29:12,438
about... about this little
dude right here.
2358
01:29:12,706 --> 01:29:16,472
In my first really passionate
sexual awakening,
2359
01:29:16,576 --> 01:29:19,010
I did,
in fact, lose my virginity
2360
01:29:19,145 --> 01:29:21,545
to our beautiful housekeeper,
Isabel.
2361
01:29:21,615 --> 01:29:23,082
Greg, honey,
that was in the past.
2362
01:29:23,149 --> 01:29:24,411
So why don't you come sit down?
2363
01:29:24,484 --> 01:29:27,009
No, no, honey, 'cause I have to
get this off my chest, really.
2364
01:29:27,087 --> 01:29:28,349
Sit.
2365
01:29:30,624 --> 01:29:31,921
We conceived a child.
2366
01:29:31,992 --> 01:29:32,981
[All gasping]
2367
01:29:34,793 --> 01:29:36,522
And his name is
Jorge Villalobos.
2368
01:29:36,595 --> 01:29:38,324
Come up here, Jorge.
Come up here.
2369
01:29:39,298 --> 01:29:41,425
Let's lift the veil of mystery.
2370
01:29:41,834 --> 01:29:44,530
The fruit of my loins
is right here.
2371
01:29:44,970 --> 01:29:47,666
Everybody take a look.
See his face.
2372
01:29:48,173 --> 01:29:49,265
He's mine.
2373
01:29:49,775 --> 01:29:51,834
Search your feelings, Jorge.
2374
01:29:51,977 --> 01:29:53,604
You know it to be true.
2375
01:29:54,913 --> 01:29:56,174
[Speaking in Spanish]
2376
01:30:01,519 --> 01:30:02,543
[sighing]
2377
01:30:02,620 --> 01:30:03,746
It's okay.
I know.
2378
01:30:03,821 --> 01:30:05,379
I know.
Lot of information.
2379
01:30:05,456 --> 01:30:06,548
You let it settle.
2380
01:30:06,624 --> 01:30:07,648
Who'd have thunk it, huh?
2381
01:30:07,725 --> 01:30:09,659
Come on, give that kid a hand.
2382
01:30:09,761 --> 01:30:10,853
[All applauding]
2383
01:30:11,529 --> 01:30:13,463
Oh, and, uh, Jack?
2384
01:30:14,666 --> 01:30:15,963
Pam's pregnant.
2385
01:30:16,034 --> 01:30:17,092
[Gasping]
2386
01:30:17,168 --> 01:30:18,464
[all chattering]
2387
01:30:18,535 --> 01:30:20,264
Focker out.
2388
01:30:20,971 --> 01:30:21,960
[Thudding]
2389
01:30:22,072 --> 01:30:23,061
[all exclaiming]
2390
01:30:54,437 --> 01:30:55,426
Hey.
2391
01:30:55,504 --> 01:30:56,493
(Pam)
Hey.
2392
01:30:56,639 --> 01:30:58,436
What happened last night?
2393
01:30:59,375 --> 01:31:02,469
Well, you got drunk
and told my dad I'm pregnant.
2394
01:31:02,545 --> 01:31:03,806
You revealed you have
2395
01:31:03,878 --> 01:31:05,675
a 15-year-old son named Jorge.
2396
01:31:05,747 --> 01:31:08,307
And, oh, apparently
you have the hots for my mom.
2397
01:31:08,650 --> 01:31:09,878
Oh, my God.
2398
01:31:10,585 --> 01:31:11,950
I... I...
2399
01:31:12,020 --> 01:31:13,647
You mean, is that really true?
2400
01:31:14,322 --> 01:31:15,812
I think she's attractive.
2401
01:31:15,890 --> 01:31:19,155
No, that you have a son
you never told me about.
2402
01:31:20,161 --> 01:31:21,594
I... Honey, if it is,
2403
01:31:21,663 --> 01:31:23,995
I never heard about it
before last night.
2404
01:31:24,065 --> 01:31:26,498
Isabel never
said anything to me. I... I...
2405
01:31:26,633 --> 01:31:27,861
[sighs]
I mean.
2406
01:31:28,202 --> 01:31:30,670
I don't even remember drinking.
2407
01:31:30,738 --> 01:31:32,729
You're telling me the truth,
aren't you?
2408
01:31:32,806 --> 01:31:34,535
Of course, I am.
Pam,
2409
01:31:34,708 --> 01:31:35,834
I love you.
2410
01:31:35,909 --> 01:31:38,377
I would never lie to you
about anything like that.
2411
01:31:42,950 --> 01:31:44,383
I love you, too.
2412
01:31:44,551 --> 01:31:46,644
And if Jorge really is your son,
2413
01:31:47,354 --> 01:31:49,082
then we will make it work.
2414
01:31:50,523 --> 01:31:51,683
Okay.
2415
01:31:51,791 --> 01:31:53,315
I...
2416
01:31:55,628 --> 01:31:58,461
Hey, how did your dad react
to the pregnancy news?
2417
01:31:58,598 --> 01:31:59,826
Well,
2418
01:32:00,867 --> 01:32:02,391
just as you'd expect.
2419
01:32:03,002 --> 01:32:04,492
He slept in the RV.
2420
01:32:04,570 --> 01:32:06,629
He hasn't spoken
to anyone since last night.
2421
01:32:06,706 --> 01:32:09,334
[RV horn honking]
2422
01:32:09,442 --> 01:32:11,466
(Jack) Pam, we have
to leave this island.
2423
01:32:11,543 --> 01:32:13,443
Get in the RV right now.
2424
01:32:13,612 --> 01:32:15,842
Bernard, get out
from under the vehicle
2425
01:32:15,914 --> 01:32:17,404
or I will run you over.
2426
01:32:17,482 --> 01:32:18,779
I'm not moving, Jack.
2427
01:32:18,850 --> 01:32:20,647
There's a non-violent way
to handle this.
2428
01:32:20,719 --> 01:32:21,708
What's going on?
2429
01:32:21,787 --> 01:32:23,152
Well, your father
wants to leave,
2430
01:32:23,221 --> 01:32:24,813
and Bernie is staging a sit-in.
2431
01:32:24,890 --> 01:32:26,016
Dad, come on, get up.
2432
01:32:26,091 --> 01:32:27,149
This is ridiculous.
2433
01:32:27,225 --> 01:32:28,920
You weren't around
in the '60s, man.
2434
01:32:28,994 --> 01:32:30,655
This is how we got things done.
2435
01:32:30,729 --> 01:32:34,357
(Jack) Pam, Dina, we have to
get off this island. It's evil.
2436
01:32:34,431 --> 01:32:36,456
Jack Byrnes, out of the RV.
2437
01:32:36,534 --> 01:32:38,502
You are acting like such a jerk.
2438
01:32:43,541 --> 01:32:45,771
Yes, there you go.
2439
01:32:45,876 --> 01:32:47,434
Jacko!
Yes.
2440
01:32:47,578 --> 01:32:49,170
Man, we're gonna
have a grandchild.
2441
01:32:49,246 --> 01:32:50,804
Come on,
we should be celebrating.
2442
01:32:50,881 --> 01:32:52,405
How could you not see it?
2443
01:32:52,483 --> 01:32:54,815
Greg is completely unfit
to handle a child.
2444
01:32:54,885 --> 01:32:57,045
He's neglected his own son
for 15 years.
2445
01:32:57,120 --> 01:32:58,849
Hey, Jack, I didn't even know
he existed.
2446
01:32:58,922 --> 01:32:59,946
That's right.
2447
01:33:00,023 --> 01:33:01,490
Who knows what to believe
with you?
2448
01:33:01,558 --> 01:33:02,991
You're dishonest
about everything.
2449
01:33:03,059 --> 01:33:05,892
You're so much better, Jack?
Why don't you tell everybody
2450
01:33:05,962 --> 01:33:07,896
what you did last night
to Greg at the party.
2451
01:33:07,964 --> 01:33:09,022
Muskrat, Dina.
2452
01:33:09,098 --> 01:33:10,963
Oh, stuff your muskrat, Jack.
2453
01:33:11,467 --> 01:33:14,664
He shot Greg with truth serum
before his speech.
2454
01:33:14,737 --> 01:33:15,829
What?
2455
01:33:15,905 --> 01:33:17,532
Yeah,
I found this in his pocket.
2456
01:33:17,607 --> 01:33:19,164
Here we go again, Dad.
2457
01:33:19,241 --> 01:33:22,142
He did the same thing
to Pam's junior prom date.
2458
01:33:22,211 --> 01:33:23,872
Wait a minute.
Yes, yes. Wait a minute.
2459
01:33:23,946 --> 01:33:25,174
You stuck a needle in my neck.
2460
01:33:25,247 --> 01:33:26,805
You drugged my son?
2461
01:33:27,049 --> 01:33:29,711
I had no choice.
He refuses to tell the truth.
2462
01:33:29,785 --> 01:33:31,047
Because he's terrified,
2463
01:33:31,119 --> 01:33:32,643
and he thinks
he has to impress you.
2464
01:33:32,721 --> 01:33:34,279
He's had us
trying to impress you,
2465
01:33:34,356 --> 01:33:35,380
but in my opinion,
2466
01:33:35,457 --> 01:33:36,719
Jack, I think it's you
2467
01:33:36,792 --> 01:33:38,259
who should be
trying to impress us.
2468
01:33:38,327 --> 01:33:39,726
Jack.
2469
01:33:39,795 --> 01:33:41,955
You've insulted me,
my wife, my son,
2470
01:33:42,029 --> 01:33:43,519
our entire way of life.
2471
01:33:43,598 --> 01:33:45,657
I've sat back and taken it.
But now,
2472
01:33:45,733 --> 01:33:47,394
you've crossed the line, sir.
2473
01:33:47,468 --> 01:33:49,561
And I'm gonna have
to kick your ass.
2474
01:33:49,637 --> 01:33:51,195
Dad, dad, wait a second.
2475
01:33:51,272 --> 01:33:54,400
I'm gonna teach this florist
some justice, Focker-style.
2476
01:33:54,475 --> 01:33:55,737
Just calm down.
2477
01:33:55,810 --> 01:33:57,175
Just give me
a minute to stretch.
2478
01:33:57,245 --> 01:33:58,974
(Roz) Bernie, you're
gonna hurt yourself.
2479
01:33:59,046 --> 01:34:00,843
We can talk this through.
2480
01:34:00,915 --> 01:34:02,314
It's too late for words,
Rosalind.
2481
01:34:02,383 --> 01:34:03,644
Dad, Dad, no, no,
2482
01:34:03,717 --> 01:34:05,116
please,
no dance fighting. Stop!
2483
01:34:05,185 --> 01:34:06,379
This is Capoeira, man.
2484
01:34:06,453 --> 01:34:07,579
This is hardcore shit.
2485
01:34:07,654 --> 01:34:09,554
Bernard, if you continue,
2486
01:34:09,656 --> 01:34:11,180
you will force me to engage you.
2487
01:34:11,258 --> 01:34:13,089
And once I begin
the sequence of combat,
2488
01:34:13,159 --> 01:34:14,854
it can only end
with your demise.
2489
01:34:14,928 --> 01:34:17,522
Bring it, dog. Come on.
Bring it. Come on.
2490
01:34:17,597 --> 01:34:18,655
He's taunting me.
2491
01:34:18,732 --> 01:34:19,858
Dad.
2492
01:34:19,933 --> 01:34:20,922
(Pam) Greg! Greg!
2493
01:34:21,001 --> 01:34:22,832
What, Bernie,
you're gonna snap now?
2494
01:34:23,436 --> 01:34:24,528
(Pam)
Greg!
2495
01:34:24,604 --> 01:34:25,536
What?
2496
01:34:27,039 --> 01:34:28,768
Now look what you did.
2497
01:34:28,841 --> 01:34:30,308
It's your fault.
2498
01:34:30,376 --> 01:34:31,866
He's bleeding.
He's bleeding, Daddy.
2499
01:34:31,944 --> 01:34:33,571
That's it. Pam, Dina,
2500
01:34:33,646 --> 01:34:35,011
I'm calling a family conference.
2501
01:34:35,080 --> 01:34:36,172
Come on.
2502
01:34:36,248 --> 01:34:37,408
No, Dad, this is the family.
2503
01:34:37,483 --> 01:34:39,849
All right? In a few weeks,
I'm not gonna be Pam Byrnes.
2504
01:34:39,919 --> 01:34:41,284
I'm gonna be Pamela Focker.
2505
01:34:41,353 --> 01:34:42,615
Or Byrnes-Focker.
2506
01:34:42,688 --> 01:34:43,916
We haven't totally decided yet.
2507
01:34:43,989 --> 01:34:46,184
No, no, no, I'm gonna be
Pamela Martha Focker.
2508
01:34:46,258 --> 01:34:47,748
I know how that sounds,
2509
01:34:47,826 --> 01:34:49,315
but... but that's
the name I'm taking.
2510
01:34:49,394 --> 01:34:51,225
Pamcake, you're upset.
I'm not so sure
2511
01:34:51,296 --> 01:34:52,923
you're thinking
clearly right now.
2512
01:34:52,997 --> 01:34:53,986
I'm trying, Dad.
2513
01:34:54,065 --> 01:34:55,623
It's you who
is not thinking clearly.
2514
01:34:55,700 --> 01:34:57,691
These two kids
love each other. Look.
2515
01:34:57,769 --> 01:35:01,000
We've been kvelling about
this pregnancy all weekend.
2516
01:35:01,339 --> 01:35:03,068
You knew she was pregnant?
2517
01:35:03,341 --> 01:35:05,104
We all did, Jack.
2518
01:35:06,945 --> 01:35:10,005
Daddy, I was gonna tell you
after the wedding, I swear.
2519
01:35:12,182 --> 01:35:14,514
This is the reason I created
the circle of trust
2520
01:35:14,584 --> 01:35:16,916
so we could
discuss these things.
2521
01:35:17,287 --> 01:35:18,754
The circle isn't gonna work
2522
01:35:18,822 --> 01:35:21,382
if you don't trust
anyone that's in it, Dad.
2523
01:35:28,098 --> 01:35:29,156
(Pam)
Dad.
2524
01:35:29,232 --> 01:35:30,290
Jack, don't.
2525
01:35:30,367 --> 01:35:32,597
No, Dad.
Daddy.
2526
01:35:32,669 --> 01:35:33,657
(Dina)
Honey.
2527
01:35:33,970 --> 01:35:35,767
Daddy, please.
Daddy, where are you going?
2528
01:35:35,838 --> 01:35:37,396
Jack. Come on.
2529
01:35:37,873 --> 01:35:39,238
[Engine starting]
2530
01:35:39,842 --> 01:35:41,332
[all chattering]
2531
01:35:42,445 --> 01:35:44,879
Daddy, come back, please.
2532
01:35:49,685 --> 01:35:50,845
[Sighs]
2533
01:35:50,920 --> 01:35:53,286
This is nicht gut.
2534
01:35:58,760 --> 01:36:00,489
[Car phone ringing]
2535
01:36:09,070 --> 01:36:10,128
(Roz)
Is it ringing?
2536
01:36:10,205 --> 01:36:11,263
There's no answer.
2537
01:36:11,339 --> 01:36:12,931
Well, let's give him some space.
2538
01:36:13,008 --> 01:36:14,532
Maybe he's learning
to self-soothe.
2539
01:36:14,609 --> 01:36:15,906
Roz.
What?
2540
01:36:15,977 --> 01:36:17,672
This is crazy. I'm going.
2541
01:36:17,746 --> 01:36:18,837
I'm coming with you, Son.
2542
01:36:18,912 --> 01:36:20,038
No, Dad, I can do it myself.
2543
01:36:20,114 --> 01:36:21,911
We gotta make up time.
I know these roads
2544
01:36:21,982 --> 01:36:23,847
like the back of my hand.
2545
01:36:25,152 --> 01:36:27,780
Come on, let's put
this family back together.
2546
01:36:28,655 --> 01:36:30,816
(Greg)
Dad, I know a shortcut.
2547
01:36:30,891 --> 01:36:33,018
It will lead us to the freeway.
2548
01:36:34,028 --> 01:36:37,225
(Bernie) I think you make
a right up here or a left.
2549
01:36:37,297 --> 01:36:39,128
It's either one or the other.
2550
01:36:39,199 --> 01:36:40,722
You don't know
where we are, do you?
2551
01:36:40,800 --> 01:36:42,131
You know,
something's wrong here.
2552
01:36:42,201 --> 01:36:43,498
This makes no sense at all.
2553
01:36:43,569 --> 01:36:45,366
Dad, it's a map of Detroit.
2554
01:36:45,438 --> 01:36:47,099
Oh, well, that explains it.
2555
01:36:47,173 --> 01:36:48,299
Dad.
2556
01:36:48,374 --> 01:36:49,466
(Bernie)
Punch it, Gay.
2557
01:36:49,542 --> 01:36:50,668
We gotta catch that dude.
2558
01:36:51,477 --> 01:36:53,172
[Siren wailing]
2559
01:36:54,614 --> 01:36:55,672
Oh, shit.
2560
01:36:55,748 --> 01:36:57,181
Come on.
Come on. Keep going.
2561
01:36:57,250 --> 01:36:59,548
Dad, come on, it's a cop.
2562
01:36:59,619 --> 01:37:01,883
Listen carefully.
Let me do the talking.
2563
01:37:01,954 --> 01:37:03,750
I know how to handle
the local cops.
2564
01:37:03,822 --> 01:37:05,119
No, don't... don't
do any talking.
2565
01:37:05,190 --> 01:37:06,316
Don't shush me, I'm a lawyer.
2566
01:37:06,391 --> 01:37:07,380
I'm not shushing you.
2567
01:37:07,459 --> 01:37:09,620
You know how many tickets
I've talked myself out of?
2568
01:37:09,694 --> 01:37:11,161
Oh, wow.
Will you look at this guy.
2569
01:37:11,229 --> 01:37:12,719
Don't they have
height requirements?
2570
01:37:12,798 --> 01:37:14,265
(Greg) We're screwed. No, we're not.
2571
01:37:14,332 --> 01:37:16,630
Don't. Don't, Dad, he said
to remain in the vehicle.
2572
01:37:18,070 --> 01:37:21,267
Sir, I said to remain
in your vehicle.
2573
01:37:21,339 --> 01:37:23,364
I just wanna talk to you
for one second.
2574
01:37:23,442 --> 01:37:25,602
Let's just talk
like friendly Floridians.
2575
01:37:25,676 --> 01:37:27,405
If you fail to comply,
I will arrest you.
2576
01:37:27,478 --> 01:37:29,105
You see, my son's future
father-in-law
2577
01:37:29,180 --> 01:37:31,011
thinks my Gay back there
has a bastard son.
2578
01:37:31,082 --> 01:37:32,106
I said shut it.
2579
01:37:32,183 --> 01:37:33,207
Shut it.
2580
01:37:33,284 --> 01:37:34,876
I know my civil rights now.
2581
01:37:34,952 --> 01:37:36,579
You know your rights? Huh?
2582
01:37:36,654 --> 01:37:37,746
Oh!
2583
01:37:37,822 --> 01:37:39,153
(Bernie)
I have sensitive wrists.
2584
01:37:39,223 --> 01:37:40,247
Excuse me.
2585
01:37:40,324 --> 01:37:41,848
Sir, return to your vehicle.
2586
01:37:41,926 --> 01:37:43,359
I don't know what he said, but...
2587
01:37:43,427 --> 01:37:44,826
That's it.
On your belly.
2588
01:37:44,895 --> 01:37:45,953
On my belly?
2589
01:37:46,030 --> 01:37:47,054
You got a hearing problem?
2590
01:37:47,131 --> 01:37:48,256
No, I'm just trying to say...
2591
01:37:48,331 --> 01:37:51,061
Now we have two failures
to comply.
2592
01:37:51,468 --> 01:37:53,993
Now, I need the two of you
2593
01:37:54,070 --> 01:37:57,403
to remain on the vehicle.
2594
01:38:00,543 --> 01:38:03,068
Okay, now here's my plan.
2595
01:38:03,146 --> 01:38:04,204
Plan?
2596
01:38:04,280 --> 01:38:05,440
Dad, no.
2597
01:38:05,515 --> 01:38:07,005
That was just a joke.
2598
01:38:08,885 --> 01:38:10,182
I'm sorry.
2599
01:38:10,486 --> 01:38:13,319
I was... I was just trying
to help you, Gay.
2600
01:38:13,388 --> 01:38:14,878
I know, Dad.
2601
01:38:15,023 --> 01:38:16,547
You're always trying to help.
2602
01:38:18,060 --> 01:38:19,857
[Car phone ringing]
2603
01:38:22,297 --> 01:38:23,355
Talk to me, Marty.
2604
01:38:23,432 --> 01:38:25,423
What's the intel
on Operation Living Skeleton?
2605
01:38:25,501 --> 01:38:27,969
(Foxtrot One) Focker is
not the kid's father, Jack.
2606
01:38:28,070 --> 01:38:29,298
Are you kidding me?
2607
01:38:29,371 --> 01:38:31,100
I was sure I had that pegged.
2608
01:38:31,273 --> 01:38:33,331
I'm sending you
a visual uplink now.
2609
01:38:33,407 --> 01:38:36,570
The dad was a minor-league
Florida ball player.
2610
01:38:36,644 --> 01:38:38,805
His name is Rusty Bridges.
2611
01:38:40,982 --> 01:38:42,415
We all make mistakes, Santa.
2612
01:38:42,550 --> 01:38:44,017
Foxtrot One out.
2613
01:38:53,895 --> 01:38:55,623
34 years spent reading
other people
2614
01:38:55,695 --> 01:38:57,253
and I get it all wrong.
2615
01:38:57,330 --> 01:38:58,388
My own wife,
2616
01:38:58,465 --> 01:39:00,330
I don't even know
what she's thinking.
2617
01:39:00,400 --> 01:39:02,391
My daughter keeps
secrets from me.
2618
01:39:03,069 --> 01:39:04,798
Sometimes I think
you're the only person
2619
01:39:04,871 --> 01:39:06,634
I can really talk to, LJ.
2620
01:39:07,941 --> 01:39:10,705
Asshole.
2621
01:39:16,816 --> 01:39:18,373
I know.
2622
01:39:22,288 --> 01:39:23,721
[Tires screeching]
2623
01:39:35,100 --> 01:39:38,592
(policeman)
F-O-C-K-E-R.
2624
01:39:39,004 --> 01:39:39,993
(Bernie)
Hey, it's Jack.
2625
01:39:40,072 --> 01:39:41,038
Hey, Jack.
2626
01:39:41,105 --> 01:39:42,163
[Both screaming]
2627
01:39:42,240 --> 01:39:43,264
(Bernie)
Wait!
2628
01:39:43,341 --> 01:39:44,365
(Greg)
Jack!
2629
01:39:44,442 --> 01:39:45,568
Jack.
2630
01:39:45,643 --> 01:39:46,735
Halt.
2631
01:39:46,811 --> 01:39:48,073
Jack.
2632
01:39:48,680 --> 01:39:50,375
Jack. Jack.
2633
01:39:50,815 --> 01:39:52,248
Weaver stance!
2634
01:39:52,917 --> 01:39:53,906
[Groans]
2635
01:39:54,052 --> 01:39:55,246
[stun gun clicking]
2636
01:39:55,320 --> 01:39:57,379
Oh, my God. You shot my son.
2637
01:39:57,455 --> 01:39:58,581
Halt.
2638
01:39:58,656 --> 01:40:00,248
Your son has merely been stunned
2639
01:40:00,325 --> 01:40:02,156
by a less than lethal weapon.
2640
01:40:02,593 --> 01:40:04,356
[Groaning]
2641
01:40:05,229 --> 01:40:06,423
Remain calm.
2642
01:40:06,597 --> 01:40:08,929
50,000 volts of electricity
are now passing
2643
01:40:08,999 --> 01:40:11,058
into your skeletal
muscle tissue.
2644
01:40:11,134 --> 01:40:13,568
Your central nervous system
has been incapacitated
2645
01:40:13,637 --> 01:40:16,800
but you will regain
motor functions momentarily.
2646
01:40:17,307 --> 01:40:18,296
[Groans]
2647
01:40:20,711 --> 01:40:22,303
(Jack) Officer, do you mind telling me
2648
01:40:22,379 --> 01:40:23,812
why you're arresting these men?
2649
01:40:23,880 --> 01:40:27,246
Oh, mercy, it just gets
better and better.
2650
01:40:27,350 --> 01:40:30,217
That is none of your business,
looky-loo.
2651
01:40:30,286 --> 01:40:31,878
Return to your camper.
2652
01:40:31,954 --> 01:40:33,512
At ease, son.
Put away the Taser.
2653
01:40:33,589 --> 01:40:34,886
Jack Byrnes, CIA.
2654
01:40:35,024 --> 01:40:36,321
C- I what?
2655
01:40:37,326 --> 01:40:39,021
Says here you're retired.
2656
01:40:39,128 --> 01:40:43,087
What'll you show me next,
old-timer, your AARP card?
2657
01:40:43,266 --> 01:40:45,166
Now, you listen to me,
and you listen good.
2658
01:40:45,234 --> 01:40:46,223
What's he doing?
2659
01:40:46,302 --> 01:40:48,326
Don't worry,
he'll get us out of this.
2660
01:40:48,403 --> 01:40:49,392
You have no right to...
2661
01:40:49,471 --> 01:40:50,529
Stand down, sir.
2662
01:40:50,605 --> 01:40:52,596
No, I will not stand down.
You will stand down.
2663
01:40:52,674 --> 01:40:53,868
I will not stand down.
2664
01:40:53,942 --> 01:40:55,034
You will stand down
2665
01:40:55,110 --> 01:40:56,407
or you will be working security
2666
01:40:56,478 --> 01:40:57,968
in a retirement home
in Point Beach.
2667
01:40:58,046 --> 01:40:59,411
[Stun gun clicking]
Remain calm.
2668
01:41:00,482 --> 01:41:01,779
It's been almost an hour.
2669
01:41:01,850 --> 01:41:03,283
You think
they caught up with him?
2670
01:41:03,351 --> 01:41:04,750
Hmm. Sure, sweetheart.
2671
01:41:04,819 --> 01:41:06,013
If I know Bernie,
2672
01:41:06,087 --> 01:41:08,521
they're probably sitting in
a café in Little Havana
2673
01:41:08,590 --> 01:41:11,353
eating chimichangas
and working out their issues.
2674
01:41:11,425 --> 01:41:13,825
[Police siren wailing]
2675
01:41:15,562 --> 01:41:17,496
[police radio chattering]
2676
01:41:20,734 --> 01:41:22,167
(policeman)
Check it out.
2677
01:41:22,670 --> 01:41:24,570
He's got a rubber booby.
2678
01:41:24,872 --> 01:41:25,861
[Men laughing]
2679
01:41:37,850 --> 01:41:39,078
(Greg)
What's going on?
2680
01:41:39,185 --> 01:41:41,449
What's going on? I was
talking to Judge Goldfarb.
2681
01:41:41,521 --> 01:41:42,783
It's done, we're out.
2682
01:41:42,855 --> 01:41:44,379
I thought you
were making a call.
2683
01:41:44,457 --> 01:41:46,550
We don't need it. I ran into
the judge in the hall.
2684
01:41:46,626 --> 01:41:47,650
I took care of everything.
2685
01:41:47,727 --> 01:41:48,887
Yeah, right.
2686
01:41:50,063 --> 01:41:51,553
What're you saying, Jack?
2687
01:41:51,631 --> 01:41:53,690
I'm saying, if you had kept
your mouth shut
2688
01:41:53,766 --> 01:41:55,824
in the first place
we wouldn't be in this mess.
2689
01:41:55,901 --> 01:41:57,129
I'm a lawyer, Jack.
2690
01:41:57,202 --> 01:41:58,533
I'm trying to get us
out of here.
2691
01:41:58,603 --> 01:42:00,696
What'd you do, give the
judge your fondue recipe?
2692
01:42:00,772 --> 01:42:02,763
At least I'm comfortable
enough in my own skin
2693
01:42:02,841 --> 01:42:03,967
to cook for my family.
2694
01:42:04,042 --> 01:42:06,340
When's the last time you gave
your wife breakfast in bed?
2695
01:42:06,411 --> 01:42:08,743
When is the last time
you gave her anything in bed?
2696
01:42:08,814 --> 01:42:10,076
Now you're out of line, Focker.
2697
01:42:10,148 --> 01:42:11,479
(Bernie)
You're out of line, man.
2698
01:42:11,550 --> 01:42:13,415
No, you hurt my feelings there,
2699
01:42:13,485 --> 01:42:15,646
and there's no reason
to hurt my feelings.
2700
01:42:15,721 --> 01:42:17,449
Would you guys stop?
He insulted me.
2701
01:42:17,521 --> 01:42:19,785
Well, this isn't about you,
all right?
2702
01:42:19,990 --> 01:42:21,287
It's not about either of you.
2703
01:42:21,359 --> 01:42:22,690
It's about me and Pam.
2704
01:42:22,760 --> 01:42:24,921
We're getting married.
That's it.
2705
01:42:24,995 --> 01:42:26,929
We're starting
our own circle of trust.
2706
01:42:26,997 --> 01:42:28,931
And guess what?
You're not in it.
2707
01:42:29,567 --> 01:42:32,297
Oh, you can't start a circle
of trust. It's my circle.
2708
01:42:32,370 --> 01:42:34,338
You don't have a patent
on the circle, Jack.
2709
01:42:34,405 --> 01:42:36,930
By the way, you're not even
in your own circle right now.
2710
01:42:37,007 --> 01:42:38,031
That is untrue.
2711
01:42:38,109 --> 01:42:40,042
I say who's in or out
of the circle.
2712
01:42:41,211 --> 01:42:43,372
Well, I'm confused.
Whose circle am I in?
2713
01:42:45,615 --> 01:42:46,980
(Jack and Greg)
Nobody's.
2714
01:42:54,724 --> 01:42:56,783
Look,
we're starting a family, okay?
2715
01:42:56,860 --> 01:42:58,384
We-we're gonna have a baby.
2716
01:42:58,461 --> 01:43:00,429
I have a 15-year-old son.
2717
01:43:00,764 --> 01:43:02,788
You guys gotta put aside
your issues
2718
01:43:03,132 --> 01:43:05,293
and... and
do what's best for us. Okay?
2719
01:43:06,468 --> 01:43:08,800
Greg, Jorge is not your son.
2720
01:43:08,871 --> 01:43:09,895
What?
2721
01:43:09,972 --> 01:43:12,406
I had a comparative
DNA analysis done last night.
2722
01:43:12,474 --> 01:43:14,101
And I made a mistake.
2723
01:43:14,176 --> 01:43:15,803
You made a mistake?
2724
01:43:16,211 --> 01:43:17,838
Yes, I did. (Bernie) Wait a minute.
2725
01:43:17,913 --> 01:43:19,471
Truth serum, DNA matches.
2726
01:43:19,548 --> 01:43:21,072
Who the hell are you,
Jack Byrnes?
2727
01:43:21,150 --> 01:43:22,777
I'm not really a florist,
Bernard.
2728
01:43:22,851 --> 01:43:24,818
I was in the CIA for 32 years.
2729
01:43:24,886 --> 01:43:26,820
And I retired
right before I met Greg.
2730
01:43:27,688 --> 01:43:29,918
Oh, sure.
Well, that makes sense.
2731
01:43:30,525 --> 01:43:32,516
♪ Bingo, bango, bongo ♪♪
2732
01:43:33,361 --> 01:43:35,886
Bernie, what the heck are you
still doing here?
2733
01:43:35,963 --> 01:43:36,952
Ira.
2734
01:43:37,031 --> 01:43:39,124
Open up, let these guys out.
2735
01:43:39,200 --> 01:43:41,430
Judge, what exactly
did he say to you?
2736
01:43:41,502 --> 01:43:43,231
He didn't have to say anything.
2737
01:43:43,304 --> 01:43:45,295
Dr. Roz saved my marriage.
2738
01:43:45,373 --> 01:43:47,363
I'd do anything for that woman.
2739
01:43:47,574 --> 01:43:49,041
You tell sugar-pants
2740
01:43:49,109 --> 01:43:50,974
I'll see her in class next week.
2741
01:43:51,044 --> 01:43:52,568
Will do, Ira. Thanks.
2742
01:43:53,346 --> 01:43:54,711
Well, what can I say?
2743
01:43:54,781 --> 01:43:56,146
I'm married to a powerful woman.
2744
01:43:56,216 --> 01:43:57,911
All right, gentlemen.
Let's go. Excuse me.
2745
01:43:57,984 --> 01:43:59,008
What?
2746
01:43:59,085 --> 01:44:00,211
Can you close the cell door?
2747
01:44:00,287 --> 01:44:02,187
(Jack) Focker! You want
to remain in the cell?
2748
01:44:02,255 --> 01:44:04,746
We're not done talking yet.
2749
01:44:05,425 --> 01:44:06,483
What?
2750
01:44:07,527 --> 01:44:09,495
So, what do you think,
huh? Hmm?
2751
01:44:10,062 --> 01:44:12,257
Can we work this out or not?
2752
01:44:13,399 --> 01:44:14,388
Okay.
2753
01:44:15,267 --> 01:44:16,256
Jack?
2754
01:44:17,102 --> 01:44:18,296
Uh...
2755
01:44:18,471 --> 01:44:19,733
[mumbling]
2756
01:44:19,939 --> 01:44:21,167
Good enough.
2757
01:44:21,607 --> 01:44:22,596
All right, then, uh,
2758
01:44:22,675 --> 01:44:24,540
I think Pam and I
should... should get married
2759
01:44:24,610 --> 01:44:25,599
this weekend.
2760
01:44:25,711 --> 01:44:26,700
This weekend?
2761
01:44:26,779 --> 01:44:28,440
Oh, I'm not so sure
that's a good idea.
2762
01:44:28,514 --> 01:44:30,209
You wanna be in the circle
or not, Jack?
2763
01:44:30,282 --> 01:44:31,510
Okay, we'll do it this weekend.
2764
01:44:31,584 --> 01:44:32,572
Oh, Jack.
2765
01:44:38,923 --> 01:44:41,721
Hey, I think I can get
Judge Ira to marry you guys.
2766
01:44:41,793 --> 01:44:42,953
Oh, I don't think so.
2767
01:44:43,027 --> 01:44:44,585
But if it's all right
with you, Greg,
2768
01:44:44,662 --> 01:44:46,789
I already have
a minister in mind.
2769
01:44:47,131 --> 01:44:49,531
♪♪ [If I Were A Carpenter
by Tim Hardin playing]
2770
01:44:55,639 --> 01:44:58,199
♪ If I were a carpenter ♪
2771
01:44:58,742 --> 01:45:01,210
♪ And you were a lady ♪♪
2772
01:45:01,979 --> 01:45:03,742
Oh my God, Daddy.
You didn't!
2773
01:45:03,914 --> 01:45:06,382
(Jack) Meeting Greg made
such an impression on Kevin,
2774
01:45:06,450 --> 01:45:08,475
he spent eight months
in Israel on a kibbutz,
2775
01:45:08,552 --> 01:45:10,076
then he took an Internet course
2776
01:45:10,153 --> 01:45:12,144
and got ordained
as an inter-faith minister.
2777
01:45:12,222 --> 01:45:13,484
[Sighs]
2778
01:45:14,157 --> 01:45:15,886
Jack told me you were okay
2779
01:45:15,959 --> 01:45:17,482
with me conducting the ceremony.
2780
01:45:17,560 --> 01:45:18,686
I hope that's true.
2781
01:45:18,761 --> 01:45:21,093
Yeah, yeah, no,
I think it's great.
2782
01:45:25,434 --> 01:45:27,334
I mean, it is a little weird.
2783
01:45:27,937 --> 01:45:29,632
You listen to me
when I say this.
2784
01:45:29,705 --> 01:45:30,694
Pam and I didn't have
2785
01:45:30,773 --> 01:45:32,900
one-tenth
of the spiritual connection
2786
01:45:32,975 --> 01:45:34,806
that you two obviously share.
2787
01:45:34,877 --> 01:45:37,107
I mean, I look at you both
together and you're beautiful.
2788
01:45:37,179 --> 01:45:39,204
I get it. Okay?
2789
01:45:39,315 --> 01:45:41,043
Okay, thank you, Kevin.
2790
01:45:41,116 --> 01:45:42,413
Thank you, Greg.
2791
01:45:42,517 --> 01:45:44,075
♪♪ [Playing]
2792
01:45:50,158 --> 01:45:52,456
You're gonna be a great mom,
Pamcake.
2793
01:45:54,529 --> 01:45:56,156
Thank you, Daddy.
2794
01:46:20,688 --> 01:46:23,248
And who gives this woman
to this man?
2795
01:46:23,624 --> 01:46:26,592
I do.
Jack Tiberius Byrnes.
2796
01:46:36,936 --> 01:46:37,925
Daddy.
2797
01:46:42,008 --> 01:46:43,373
Sorry, Greg.
2798
01:46:43,743 --> 01:46:45,734
She's all yours now.
2799
01:46:53,518 --> 01:46:54,883
That was sweet, honey.
2800
01:46:54,953 --> 01:46:56,113
Are you all right?
2801
01:46:56,221 --> 01:46:57,620
Shalom, everyone.
2802
01:46:57,689 --> 01:46:59,919
(All)
Shalom.
2803
01:47:00,325 --> 01:47:01,690
[Speaking in Hebrew]
2804
01:47:01,760 --> 01:47:03,955
Which is Hebrew for
"what's going on?"
2805
01:47:04,029 --> 01:47:05,360
[All laughing]
2806
01:47:06,098 --> 01:47:08,623
(Kevin) Let us begin with
the blessing of the wine.
2807
01:47:09,167 --> 01:47:11,361
♪♪ [Chanting]
2808
01:47:26,017 --> 01:47:29,817
(all)
Amen.
2809
01:47:35,892 --> 01:47:37,223
Kevin.
What?
2810
01:47:37,460 --> 01:47:38,791
Yeah, go ahead.
2811
01:47:38,895 --> 01:47:40,886
♪♪ [Crazy 'Bout My Baby
by Randy Newman playing]
2812
01:47:40,964 --> 01:47:42,431
♪ Crazy about my baby ♪
2813
01:47:42,499 --> 01:47:45,127
♪ Crazy about my baby
Crazy about my baby ♪
2814
01:47:45,201 --> 01:47:47,601
[all cheering]
2815
01:47:52,676 --> 01:47:54,075
[speaking in Spanish]
2816
01:47:55,344 --> 01:47:56,333
Mmm. Mmm.
2817
01:47:57,279 --> 01:47:58,473
Well, hi.
2818
01:47:58,547 --> 01:48:00,208
Rosalind.
Yeah.
2819
01:48:00,282 --> 01:48:02,876
I just have to say
I underestimated you.
2820
01:48:02,951 --> 01:48:04,077
Oh.
2821
01:48:04,153 --> 01:48:05,518
When it comes to relationships
2822
01:48:05,587 --> 01:48:07,111
I'm starting to see
2823
01:48:07,189 --> 01:48:09,316
that you might actually know
what you're talking about.
2824
01:48:09,391 --> 01:48:10,983
[Laughing]
2825
01:48:11,427 --> 01:48:12,689
I appreciate that, Jack.
2826
01:48:12,761 --> 01:48:13,955
Really, thank you.
2827
01:48:14,029 --> 01:48:17,464
I also was curious about
the advice you gave Judge Ira.
2828
01:48:17,532 --> 01:48:18,726
Mmm.
2829
01:48:18,800 --> 01:48:21,928
Is that classified information?
2830
01:48:22,003 --> 01:48:24,335
I thought you'd never ask.
2831
01:48:24,405 --> 01:48:27,499
I'm gonna give you
a crash course, okay?
2832
01:48:28,176 --> 01:48:29,268
Come here.
2833
01:48:32,046 --> 01:48:33,035
Really?
2834
01:48:34,115 --> 01:48:35,412
Uh-huh.
2835
01:48:38,619 --> 01:48:40,848
And I do that for
how many minutes?
2836
01:48:41,888 --> 01:48:45,221
Hey! There's my brother
from another mother.
2837
01:48:46,293 --> 01:48:48,158
Congratulations, Jacko.
2838
01:48:50,163 --> 01:48:51,790
Put that away, Bernard.
2839
01:48:55,402 --> 01:48:56,892
We're family now.
2840
01:49:01,907 --> 01:49:03,135
We're family.
2841
01:49:03,909 --> 01:49:05,399
Now, if you'll excuse me,
2842
01:49:05,478 --> 01:49:07,776
I have some unfinished
business to take care of.
2843
01:49:07,880 --> 01:49:09,711
♪ I'm crazy about my baby ♪
2844
01:49:10,249 --> 01:49:12,217
♪ I'm crazy about my baby ♪
2845
01:49:12,284 --> 01:49:13,683
Go get her, tiger.
2846
01:49:13,786 --> 01:49:15,344
[Growling]
2847
01:49:16,856 --> 01:49:18,721
We Fockerized him.
2848
01:49:18,791 --> 01:49:19,849
Sure did.
2849
01:49:19,925 --> 01:49:21,552
I'd like to Fockerize you.
2850
01:49:21,694 --> 01:49:23,525
♪ Crazy about you baby ♪
2851
01:49:25,163 --> 01:49:26,653
♪ Crazy about you baby ♪
2852
01:49:26,731 --> 01:49:28,722
♪ I know you're crazy about me ♪
2853
01:49:29,768 --> 01:49:31,167
[all cheering]
2854
01:49:31,569 --> 01:49:34,868
♪ Who's gonna take
my love away? Nobody ♪
2855
01:49:34,939 --> 01:49:37,499
♪ Who's gonna take my love? ♪
2856
01:49:38,276 --> 01:49:40,870
♪ Who's gonna take
my love away? ♪
2857
01:49:41,146 --> 01:49:43,876
♪ Who's gonna take my love? ♪
2858
01:49:43,948 --> 01:49:46,212
Sweetheart, do we have
to hurry like this?
2859
01:49:46,284 --> 01:49:47,944
Honey,
we're in a covert operation.
2860
01:49:48,018 --> 01:49:50,009
The bandleader
told me we have 23 minutes
2861
01:49:50,087 --> 01:49:52,112
before they cut the cake.
2862
01:49:57,661 --> 01:49:59,356
Jack, what are you doing?
2863
01:49:59,496 --> 01:50:01,225
Little trick Bernie taught me.
2864
01:50:01,465 --> 01:50:02,830
♪ Crazy about my baby ♪
2865
01:50:02,900 --> 01:50:05,835
♪ Crazy about my baby
Crazy about my baby ♪
2866
01:50:05,903 --> 01:50:09,633
♪ Crazy about my baby,
my baby's crazy 'bout me ♪
2867
01:50:12,575 --> 01:50:16,477
♪ Crazy about my baby,
my baby's crazy 'bout me ♪♪
2868
01:50:25,521 --> 01:50:26,545
[chuckling]
2869
01:50:26,622 --> 01:50:28,283
Now let's find out, LJ,
2870
01:50:28,357 --> 01:50:30,848
why the Ferber method
isn't working.
2871
01:50:33,461 --> 01:50:34,985
[Tape rewinding]
2872
01:50:35,330 --> 01:50:36,922
[wailing]
2873
01:50:36,998 --> 01:50:38,522
(Roz)
Oh, hi, baby.
2874
01:50:38,600 --> 01:50:40,898
Hi, Little Jack.
Okay.
2875
01:50:40,969 --> 01:50:43,403
Oh, look what I brought you.
2876
01:50:43,471 --> 01:50:46,872
Oh, what did I bring?
A chocolate.
2877
01:50:47,542 --> 01:50:49,533
For the baby.
2878
01:50:50,312 --> 01:50:51,904
Yummy, is that good?
2879
01:50:51,980 --> 01:50:53,777
I know you're
not supposed to have this.
2880
01:50:53,849 --> 01:50:55,406
Grandpa Jack
doesn't like chocolate.
2881
01:50:55,482 --> 01:50:57,575
But he's a little,
you know, whacko.
2882
01:50:57,651 --> 01:50:58,777
Don't tell him, okay?
2883
01:50:58,853 --> 01:51:00,980
You know what? I got some
cake in the refrigerator.
2884
01:51:01,055 --> 01:51:02,716
Later I'll bring you that, okay?
2885
01:51:02,790 --> 01:51:04,690
Chocolate cake.
Good boy.
2886
01:51:05,226 --> 01:51:07,592
But don't tell anyone, okay?
One more.
2887
01:51:08,529 --> 01:51:09,518
[Giggling]
2888
01:51:10,064 --> 01:51:11,429
[tape rewinding]
2889
01:51:11,699 --> 01:51:13,462
You yell and scream
all you want.
2890
01:51:13,534 --> 01:51:15,866
Make noise, that's what
this country's all about.
2891
01:51:15,936 --> 01:51:18,460
I think we've got a
little protester on our hands.
2892
01:51:18,538 --> 01:51:20,062
Oh, it figures,
2893
01:51:20,139 --> 01:51:22,039
I should've known
this was gonna go on.
2894
01:51:22,108 --> 01:51:23,336
Always question authority.
2895
01:51:23,409 --> 01:51:26,344
You have to question everything
EI Stiffo Grandpa Jack says.
2896
01:51:26,412 --> 01:51:28,209
You know why?
Because' he's full of...
2897
01:51:28,281 --> 01:51:30,112
Because he's full of...
2898
01:51:30,583 --> 01:51:31,675
[chanting]
2899
01:51:31,751 --> 01:51:33,616
Grandpa Jack is full of...
2900
01:51:33,686 --> 01:51:34,846
[giggling]
2901
01:51:35,154 --> 01:51:36,587
[sighs]
2902
01:51:37,123 --> 01:51:38,784
Grandpa Jack is full of...
2903
01:51:41,326 --> 01:51:42,759
[tape rewinding]
2904
01:51:44,897 --> 01:51:47,092
There he is.
Little Man Jack.
2905
01:51:47,165 --> 01:51:48,928
How're you doing?
2906
01:51:49,268 --> 01:51:51,532
Can I interest you
in a little vodka?
2907
01:51:52,004 --> 01:51:53,369
Just kidding.
2908
01:51:53,906 --> 01:51:55,703
I'm, like, uh, officially
your uncle now.
2909
01:51:55,774 --> 01:51:57,002
So I was thinking
2910
01:51:57,109 --> 01:51:59,270
maybe I should give you
some uncley advice.
2911
01:51:59,344 --> 01:52:01,471
You know, little hints
for surviving in this family
2912
01:52:01,545 --> 01:52:03,206
'cause you gotta learn
to keep secrets
2913
01:52:03,281 --> 01:52:05,146
from your psycho Grandpa Jack.
2914
01:52:05,216 --> 01:52:06,274
He was really upset
2915
01:52:06,350 --> 01:52:07,908
when you crawled out
of the playpen.
2916
01:52:07,985 --> 01:52:10,579
Which is why we never tell him
that instead of watching you,
2917
01:52:10,655 --> 01:52:12,418
I was actually out by the lagoon
2918
01:52:12,490 --> 01:52:14,151
smoking a little reefer.
2919
01:52:14,225 --> 01:52:15,214
[Shushing]
2920
01:52:17,128 --> 01:52:20,291
Or that whole thing
about Pam being pregnant.
2921
01:52:21,098 --> 01:52:23,032
There's no little Focker
on the way.
2922
01:52:23,100 --> 01:52:24,259
Whole thing was just made up
2923
01:52:24,334 --> 01:52:26,461
so Jack would
let us get married. But...
2924
01:52:26,536 --> 01:52:28,834
You gotta do
what you gotta do, right?
2925
01:52:29,339 --> 01:52:32,331
That's cute, that little
alligator tchotchke thing.
2926
01:52:32,409 --> 01:52:33,808
What's that in its mouth?
2927
01:52:33,877 --> 01:52:36,402
It's got like a... a camera!
2928
01:52:36,479 --> 01:52:37,468
[Gasps]
2929
01:52:38,581 --> 01:52:39,878
Busted.
2930
01:52:42,352 --> 01:52:43,410
Hi, Jack.
2931
01:52:43,486 --> 01:52:45,852
I knew you were there
all along. I was just, uh,
2932
01:52:45,922 --> 01:52:47,218
doin' a little show for you.
2933
01:52:47,289 --> 01:52:49,052
You know I don't smoke pot
or anything,
2934
01:52:49,124 --> 01:52:50,819
and Pam is pregnant.
2935
01:52:50,893 --> 01:52:52,918
You should've seen the look
on your face, though.
2936
01:52:52,995 --> 01:52:53,962
Oh, so good.
2937
01:52:54,029 --> 01:52:56,429
Asshole.
2938
01:52:56,598 --> 01:52:58,122
[Laughing]
2939
01:52:58,267 --> 01:53:00,462
Hey, look at me,
Jack, what am I?
2940
01:53:00,536 --> 01:53:02,026
[Grunting]
2941
01:53:04,540 --> 01:53:06,474
I am a frozen caveman.
2942
01:53:06,542 --> 01:53:08,339
Study me, Jack.
2943
01:53:08,410 --> 01:53:11,901
Learn how strange
the Focker genetic code is.
2944
01:53:11,980 --> 01:53:14,278
We are weird mutants
who hug and kiss.
2945
01:53:14,349 --> 01:53:16,613
We show emotion.
2946
01:53:16,918 --> 01:53:18,385
Jack must learn from us
2947
01:53:18,453 --> 01:53:20,080
and chip away
with his hammer of truth.
2948
01:53:20,154 --> 01:53:21,587
Ha, Focker.
2949
01:53:21,923 --> 01:53:23,254
Wooga booga.
206358
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