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1
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:14,301
-Pressure's all right, Gary?
-It's perfect.
2
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:22,518
-And the oil is not too warm?
-It feels nice.
3
00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:31,568
Is there any area in particular
you want me to focus on today?
4
00:02:44,748 --> 00:02:45,916
You could...
5
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,963
You could go...
6
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,008
Lower?
7
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:35,632
Oh, my God.
8
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,053
I'm sorry, this music is triggering me.
9
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:43,307
Can I change it
to something less traumatic?
10
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,350
Sure.
11
00:03:45,434 --> 00:03:48,353
Kind of feels like
I was getting you off at a funeral.
12
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,319
-You have a dope house, by the way.
-Thank you.
13
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,528
It's, like, sexy.
14
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:04,786
Oh, God.
15
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:18,382
Lick, lick, lick, lick
I wanna eat your dick
16
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,928
But I can't fuck up my nails
17
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:28,519
-I'm so sorry. Cory, is it?
-Yeah, Kory. With a K.
18
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,396
Could we just keep
the distractions to a minimum?
19
00:04:32,064 --> 00:04:35,484
I'm sorry.
I stopped taking my Vyvanse, and I have--
20
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:36,944
It's okay. I'm just...
21
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,322
-So the music, off?
-Please?
22
00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:41,865
Yeah.
23
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:02,302
I'm so sorry. Is there any way
that you could not chew gum?
24
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,596
Bitch, am I not allowed to breathe?
25
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:12,271
-Gum's gone. Are we good?
-Yeah. I'm sorry.
26
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,274
-It's fine. Can I proceed?
-Please. Thank you.
27
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:29,121
So you have, like, a really big house.
28
00:05:31,123 --> 00:05:32,291
Who all lives here?
29
00:05:36,170 --> 00:05:37,171
Just me.
30
00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:38,755
Damn!
31
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,757
No husband? No wife?
32
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,975
-Wife. I had a wife.
-Word.
33
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:53,854
I used to fuck girls too, and then
I realized I sucked at eating pussy.
34
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:57,566
She left. She took the kids, and--
35
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,651
What a bitch. Boys or girls?
36
00:06:00,444 --> 00:06:02,196
Boys. Well, men now, really.
37
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:03,447
Are they hot?
38
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:05,324
-What?
-Your two sons, are they hot?
39
00:06:06,074 --> 00:06:07,075
I don't know.
40
00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:10,621
Come on, Gary. You're clearly a fairy.
Or at least now you are.
41
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:11,914
They're my children!
42
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:15,834
It's not perverted.
My cousins are so fucking hot.
43
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,670
I mean, they're good-looking young men.
44
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:20,714
Okay.
45
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,799
Jesus!
46
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:29,932
Gary? How many guys
have you done this with?
47
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,230
One?
48
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,941
-One, like...
-Like, you're my first.
49
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:42,528
-I'm your first massage?
-No. I mean, yes, but...
50
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,698
You're the first guy
that I've ever been intimate with.
51
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:56,083
-Gary, shut up.
-It's not a big deal.
52
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,960
Gary, this is a big fucking deal.
53
00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:01,547
I need a drink. I need a drink.
Come on. Come on! Holy shit.
54
00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:02,881
Where are you going?
55
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,218
So you've never touched a dick before?
Like, even as a kid?
56
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:08,887
No.
57
00:07:08,971 --> 00:07:11,098
Oh, my God, Gary, that is so gay.
58
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,516
I'm not supposed to drink, so--
59
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,769
That is the most repressed Catholic-ass
bullshit I've ever heard in my life.
60
00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:18,313
I did jerk off once
in a steam room at our country club.
61
00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,732
Not even an Equinox? Jesus Christ, Gary.
62
00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:23,026
It was a long time ago.
The world's different now.
63
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,529
Bitch, please.
The ancient Greeks were gay as shit.
64
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,614
Zeus ate dick
for breakfast, lunch, and dinner!
65
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,157
That's why he was so strong.
66
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:30,242
All the cum.
67
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,538
-What?
-You're a very spirited young man.
68
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:36,206
You know what is so funny?
69
00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:39,543
People say shit like that all the time,
and I never know what it means.
70
00:07:45,174 --> 00:07:49,011
But this isn't about me.
This is about you.
71
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,638
I wanna know, why now?
72
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,433
I can't believe I'm telling you this.
73
00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:58,520
I got married so young, had kids so young
that I never gave myself an opportunity--
74
00:07:58,604 --> 00:08:02,316
Holy shit! I didn't even think about that.
Your kids are so lucky.
75
00:08:02,399 --> 00:08:03,650
-Why?
-They have a gay dad.
76
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:07,529
-What's better than that?
-I doubt they see it that way, Kory.
77
00:08:07,613 --> 00:08:09,114
Please, call me Cameron.
78
00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,617
Kory's the work name,
it helps me get into character.
79
00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,160
But you and I are friends now.
80
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:15,454
Okay.
81
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:21,752
Well, Cameron,
my kids don't talk to me, so...
82
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:25,672
What? Sorry, you're telling me
that your family won't talk to you
83
00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:28,258
because you prefer bussy over pussy?
84
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:29,384
What the actual fuck?
85
00:08:29,468 --> 00:08:32,554
Patty had her reasons. She took the kids--
86
00:08:32,638 --> 00:08:36,767
God! Patty? Oh, Patty!
Patty's a very, very cunty name, Gary.
87
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:40,729
-Cameron.
-No! I'm sorry, Gary, that is bullshit.
88
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:42,688
Bullshit.
89
00:08:42,773 --> 00:08:45,984
You were honest, and they turn their back
on you 'cause of your sexuality?
90
00:08:46,068 --> 00:08:48,820
I'll talk to that bitch.
I'm a people person. Give me your phone.
91
00:08:48,904 --> 00:08:50,197
No. You don't have to--
92
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,241
The only thing better
than my dad being gay
93
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,535
would have been him being
like a reiki master.
94
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:57,162
I would have killed
to have a dad like you.
95
00:08:59,915 --> 00:09:00,999
I'm dying.
96
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,962
Oh, baby, I'm dying too.
I mean, every night I fall asleep--
97
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:06,588
I'm actually dying.
98
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:10,634
I have an inoperable brain tumor.
99
00:09:14,179 --> 00:09:15,180
Oh, shit.
100
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:30,362
I'm sorry.
I really don't know what to say.
101
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,447
Words of affirmation
is not my love language.
102
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:33,824
It's more like...
103
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:40,289
Okay. You don't have to worry about
not knowing how to respond.
104
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:43,208
Nobody's reacted that well thus far,
myself included.
105
00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:45,752
Oh, Gary. Are you okay?
106
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:48,297
I mean, I know you're not okay, obviously.
But I mean...
107
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:53,510
It's like I just realized that
I've been alive for nearly half a century
108
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:56,430
and I haven't actually lived
even a second of it.
109
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:02,311
Okay. Okay, Gary.
Gary, I'm gonna help you.
110
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:04,938
-What?
-Let's find someone for you.
111
00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:07,983
Someone you've always wanted
who will put what you want first.
112
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:11,153
Honestly, can't you just finish
the hand job and go?
113
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:15,616
Oh, shut up.
Shut up, Gary. We're doing this.
114
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:17,242
You are gonna do this.
115
00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:21,205
Now, have you heard of Plungr?
116
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:22,414
No.
117
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:23,540
It's a sex app.
118
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:27,169
Why do I need a sex app?
I literally paid for you.
119
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:30,797
Because you're not gay
until you've hooked up
120
00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:34,218
with a complete stranger on an app,
who looks nothing like their pictures.
121
00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:36,303
-Okay.
-Okay, so crash course.
122
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:39,932
Basically, once you set up your profile,
then you put in your stats.
123
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,016
That's the basics.
124
00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:44,561
Your height, your body type,
your pronouns, your positions.
125
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:47,231
-Top, bottom. We'll figure it out later.
-Jesus.
126
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,817
Your relationship status,
date last tested, et cetera.
127
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:54,196
And boom! You're getting your hole licked,
your salad tossed,
128
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:56,615
your carpet munched
by your closeted neighbor--
129
00:10:56,698 --> 00:10:58,575
I'm sorry, this is a lot to take in.
130
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:01,537
It's a lot, Gary.
I wish they had a gay Duolingo.
131
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,123
You know what?
132
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:09,211
Why don't you see for yourself?
133
00:11:10,128 --> 00:11:10,963
Go on.
134
00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:25,310
Oh, my God. There's so many hot guys.
135
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,105
Yes, there are.
136
00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:31,191
But if you wanna talk to any of them,
you're gonna need an avatar.
137
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:34,903
Profile picture. You're gonna need it,
or no one's gonna answer.
138
00:11:35,404 --> 00:11:39,157
Do you know what lighting in your house
makes you the most dewy?
139
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:42,494
-Can we just use a picture of you?
-Seriously?
140
00:11:42,578 --> 00:11:45,706
Look at you.
I'm not gonna get very many responses.
141
00:11:45,789 --> 00:11:48,667
Not with that attitude.
Do you know your angles?
142
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,878
-My angles?
-Oh, for fuck's sake, Gary.
143
00:11:50,961 --> 00:11:53,297
Come on,
I can't just teach you everything.
144
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,218
Hot?
145
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,471
Yeah, that's very hot.
146
00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:02,389
I know.
147
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:08,187
I'll just call us "Lad and Dad."
148
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:10,230
Okay.
149
00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:16,778
How about this guy?
150
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,531
{\an8}Two miles away.
151
00:12:19,615 --> 00:12:23,285
{\an8}"Dom Top, DL, Masc4masc, I love to suck."
152
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,662
-What's DL?
-That's down-low, just like you.
153
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,832
Well, I like his hat.
154
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,502
Okay.
155
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:35,464
"I like your hat, bro. You're hot."
156
00:12:39,051 --> 00:12:41,303
-"You too."
-Wait, he already wrote back to you?
157
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:45,015
Yep. "Come over and drain me."
158
00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:49,061
Okay, I'm sorry. No, Cameron,
I think this might be too much.
159
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:50,979
-Too late. He's on his way.
-Wait. What?
160
00:12:51,063 --> 00:12:51,897
I dropped a pin.
161
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,357
-You gave him my address?
-Yeah.
162
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,275
But I might not be ready for this.
163
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:57,736
It took me a week
to work up the courage to call you.
164
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:01,657
And now you've invited
some complete stranger to my home.
165
00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,867
-Gary.
-I don't even know this person.
166
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,827
-How am I supposed to react?
-Loosen up.
167
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,287
-How?
-You're with me.
168
00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:12,918
I'm like human poppers. I open anyone up.
All you have to do is sit back and relax.
169
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,044
Relax.
170
00:13:14,545 --> 00:13:16,630
You're gonna be okay, I prom.
171
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:18,549
Prom?
172
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:20,300
Half a promise.
173
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:23,387
-Did you just make that up?
-Oh, my God. It's New York, Gary.
174
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,265
The reality star.
Oh, you have so much to learn.
175
00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:28,350
I'm going to your kitchen.
176
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:42,906
Gary, it's so harsh in here.
You need to liven it up.
177
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:48,203
Spoon, spoon, spoon...
178
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:52,165
Shit. You really are dying, aren't you?
179
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,638
{\an8}"Gary and Patricia had
a beautiful marriage,
180
00:14:06,722 --> 00:14:08,140
{\an8}filled with blessing and love.
181
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:11,768
The life they shared was harmonious
and fulfilling, raising the boys.
182
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:16,648
However, Gary has now left the marriage
to finally pursue his life as a gay man.
183
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,986
There are no words to describe
the shock and heartache Patricia feels
184
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:22,696
{\an8}regarding Gary's new path."
185
00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,199
Yikademente.
186
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:28,368
Gary! Oh, my God.
187
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:33,081
Okay, can we please talk about this?
Because what the actual fuck?
188
00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:35,334
-Where did you get that?
-I went through your shit.
189
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:36,793
Of course.
190
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:44,718
After the split, Patty lashed out
in interesting and craft-based ways.
191
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:47,095
It's on, like, weighted paper.
192
00:14:47,179 --> 00:14:50,140
You're telling me she went to Kinko's
and printed how many copies?
193
00:14:50,224 --> 00:14:53,352
She sent them
to quite a number of people in our lives.
194
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:57,272
Gary, it's like a eulogy for straight you.
Rest in peace.
195
00:14:57,773 --> 00:15:00,442
-Well...
-At least you got to keep the house.
196
00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:05,155
When I came out of the closet, I lost
the closet and the room the closet was in.
197
00:15:05,239 --> 00:15:07,074
Is that why you ended up doing this?
198
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,117
The fuck do you mean by that?
199
00:15:09,201 --> 00:15:13,080
Your line of work is not exactly
many people's first choice.
200
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:15,123
A little fucking judgmental,
don't you think?
201
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:19,169
I'm just saying,
kids wanna be astronauts, firemen.
202
00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:21,755
They don't pick sex worker
at the job fair.
203
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:26,844
They would if they were tossed around
as an 8-year-old, like I was.
204
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:33,267
I'm fucking joking. Are you serious?
That's what you actually think?
205
00:15:33,350 --> 00:15:36,311
That something terrible must have happened
to me to lead me to this?
206
00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:39,690
God forbid I found something
that I'm good at, and I monetized it.
207
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:42,734
But you can't do this forever.
When you're my age, what will you do?
208
00:15:42,818 --> 00:15:47,114
I don't know. I guess I'll repress
every desire that comes naturally,
209
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:49,741
marry an unsuspecting woman,
have two sons,
210
00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,910
live a lie
until I find out I'm dying of cancer.
211
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:55,622
-Hey, whoa.
-No! No, you are on thin ice, sweetie.
212
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:58,208
I'm sorry. You're right.
213
00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:03,046
I guess that
that was my poor attempt at helping you.
214
00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:07,593
Well, write this down
and remember it fondly:
215
00:16:08,343 --> 00:16:10,262
I don't need your fucking help.
216
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:14,391
God!
217
00:16:26,028 --> 00:16:28,697
My God, if that was my best stab
at fatherly advice,
218
00:16:28,780 --> 00:16:31,074
it's no wonder
my own kids don't wanna speak to me.
219
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,744
Okay, enough of this whole pity party.
220
00:16:34,745 --> 00:16:35,621
What is that?
221
00:16:37,247 --> 00:16:38,707
It's called pre-workout.
222
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:41,376
-Like meth for people with goals.
-Why are you taking it now?
223
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:44,880
You didn't have Red Bull.
Which, by the way, big mistake.
224
00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:47,216
-Big. Huge.
-Pretty Woman.
225
00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:49,676
Finally, a fucking reference you know.
226
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,887
Pretty Woman is one of my favorite films.
227
00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,306
That would explain
your attitude towards sex work.
228
00:16:54,389 --> 00:16:58,018
-Well, you're the one who just quoted it.
-Touché, bitch.
229
00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,855
-Yeah.
-Oh, fuck. He's here. He's here!
230
00:17:01,939 --> 00:17:03,190
Oh, my God, what do I do?
231
00:17:03,273 --> 00:17:06,818
Hey. Go upstairs,
wear something sexy, I got this covered.
232
00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,904
-Go! Go!
-Okay.
233
00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:15,117
Sexy.
234
00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:20,707
-Hello.
-'Sup, bro?
235
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:25,045
-Fist me already!
-I'm Sammy.
236
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:29,091
I'm Kory, with a K. The lost Kardashian.
Nice truck.
237
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:31,802
You parked so far.
238
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:35,097
-Just wanna get in and get out.
-Oh. You can get in, all right.
239
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,143
Come on.
240
00:17:42,437 --> 00:17:46,024
This place is dope, man.
Do you live here alone?
241
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:51,530
Well, if you noticed on Plungr,
I am Lad...
242
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:56,660
and this is Dad.
243
00:17:58,579 --> 00:17:59,705
Hi.
244
00:17:59,788 --> 00:18:03,166
Who the fuck is
this Mister Rogers-looking-ass dude?
245
00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,878
I thought I told you
to wear something sexy.
246
00:18:05,961 --> 00:18:07,546
I feel very sexy in this.
247
00:18:07,629 --> 00:18:10,716
The profile said "Lad and Dad."
248
00:18:10,799 --> 00:18:13,427
You didn't say
nothing about a threesome, so...
249
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:15,929
And you didn't say anything
about being a whiny bottom.
250
00:18:16,013 --> 00:18:18,432
-But here we are.
-I'm no bottom! I'm all top.
251
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:21,768
-Yeah, sure, you self-hating little bitch.
-Cameron.
252
00:18:21,852 --> 00:18:23,103
Shut the fuck up, please.
253
00:18:23,187 --> 00:18:28,317
We both know you're just a gaping hole,
so pipe down and service this cock!
254
00:18:32,738 --> 00:18:34,364
Fuck, you're sexy.
255
00:18:34,448 --> 00:18:36,909
You know you don't deserve
to suck this cock, though, right?
256
00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:37,826
I know.
257
00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:43,040
I'm sorry, sir.
I'll suck it so good, though.
258
00:18:43,874 --> 00:18:44,708
Do it.
259
00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:49,922
-Thank you, sir.
-Thank you.
260
00:18:57,930 --> 00:18:59,681
Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah.
261
00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:06,063
You shut your fucking mouth
when you're sucking this dick.
262
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,274
-Please, sir, I want some more.
-Yeah, you do.
263
00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:13,362
Yeah, you like that dick,
you little Oliver Twist-ass bitch?
264
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:17,032
Oh, God. It's like a juicy bratwurst.
265
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:22,454
You make me...
You make me sick, you little orphan boy.
266
00:19:23,455 --> 00:19:24,790
I'm an orphan.
267
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,793
Fucking deeper, bitch.
268
00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,419
You little street urchin.
269
00:19:29,503 --> 00:19:33,048
You little begging bitch
with your little purple-ass shorts.
270
00:19:33,549 --> 00:19:36,677
I'm your fucking street urchin,
motherfucker.
271
00:19:39,555 --> 00:19:40,556
Come on, Dad.
272
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:42,516
Come on.
273
00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,269
-Fuck me.
-It's okay.
274
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:50,774
Oh, yes. You gotta
put it fucking deep in there.
275
00:19:55,863 --> 00:19:57,573
Wait. Why are you stopping?
276
00:19:57,656 --> 00:19:59,616
-I can't do this.
-Can't do what?
277
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,660
Suck a dick
when your username's Looking2Succ?
278
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,871
Not with this
accountant-looking motherfucker.
279
00:20:03,954 --> 00:20:06,415
-I'm sorry.
-Gary is a beautiful man
280
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:09,084
who deserves anonymous blowjobs,
just like the rest of us.
281
00:20:09,168 --> 00:20:10,377
He looks like shit.
282
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:15,465
-You look like shit, little pencil dick!
-What? I'm not even fully hard, bro.
283
00:20:15,549 --> 00:20:16,550
Oh, really?
284
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:19,636
Plus, I didn't get
to showcase my personality.
285
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:20,888
Oh, my God!
286
00:20:20,971 --> 00:20:25,017
Looking2Succ, I've given you plenty
of time to showcase your personality.
287
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:29,146
Fuck you. I'm better one-on-one.
And it was just you in the picture.
288
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:32,858
Not your Flowers in the Attic
fucking sidepiece daddy.
289
00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:34,610
I'm not even gay, anyway.
290
00:20:34,693 --> 00:20:37,529
You just casually referenced
Flowers in the Attic.
291
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:40,657
-You are an absolute faggot!
-I got a wife.
292
00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:42,326
-So does he!
-Ex-wife.
293
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:46,496
And you'll be adding ex to the title
when she finds out you're a bottom!
294
00:20:46,580 --> 00:20:48,707
Watch your fucking mouth, bro!
295
00:20:48,790 --> 00:20:51,168
I'm warning you, I will knock you out.
296
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:56,715
Oh, no. He's gonna knock me out, Gary,
hit me with his Flowers in the Attic.
297
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:57,716
Okay. Boys. Boys.
298
00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:04,515
-You are a F-A-double G-O-T, faggot!
-This is your last fucking warning, bro!
299
00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:06,517
-You're a faggot!
-Fuck you!
300
00:21:53,397 --> 00:21:54,731
It was a gorgeous landing.
301
00:22:02,364 --> 00:22:05,909
-Why would you do that?
-Do what?
302
00:22:05,993 --> 00:22:08,412
You instigated him. You riled him up.
303
00:22:08,495 --> 00:22:09,872
Hey, hold on, hold on.
304
00:22:09,955 --> 00:22:12,624
He literally charged at me
and you pushed me out of the way.
305
00:22:12,708 --> 00:22:14,042
How is this my fault?
306
00:22:14,835 --> 00:22:17,963
If you had shut up,
he wouldn't have done the charging.
307
00:22:18,839 --> 00:22:20,841
Of course, you're gonna take his side.
308
00:22:20,924 --> 00:22:23,886
Two repressed queers blaming
their shame and misery on me,
309
00:22:23,969 --> 00:22:26,346
-a secure, stable homosexual.
-Stable?
310
00:22:26,430 --> 00:22:29,391
-Yeah.
-How did I let this happen? My God!
311
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:32,561
Wait, this whole thing was your idea.
The whole thing.
312
00:22:32,644 --> 00:22:34,563
No, no, no! You wanted him to come here.
313
00:22:34,646 --> 00:22:37,065
You practically forced me into this.
314
00:22:37,149 --> 00:22:40,194
Oh, I forced you
to hook up with two hot dudes.
315
00:22:40,277 --> 00:22:43,030
I'm so evil, Gary. Oh, I'm so sorry.
316
00:22:49,453 --> 00:22:50,871
What are you doing?
317
00:22:50,954 --> 00:22:53,415
-I'm calling 911.
-For what? He's dead!
318
00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:55,709
Exactly. We have to explain what happened.
319
00:22:55,792 --> 00:23:00,380
You may be okay going to jail 'cause
you're dying, but I'm freshly made.
320
00:23:00,464 --> 00:23:03,091
-I don't care. I'm calling.
-Gary, no. Accidents happen!
321
00:23:03,175 --> 00:23:05,928
It was your first time being gay.
You were gonna make mistakes.
322
00:23:06,011 --> 00:23:08,430
-This is more than a mistake!
-You're right.
323
00:23:08,514 --> 00:23:10,599
I'm so glad
you're man enough to admit that.
324
00:23:10,682 --> 00:23:12,643
-Admit what?
-You assaulted me.
325
00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:16,939
-You fucking kidding me?
-You pushed me, babe.
326
00:23:17,022 --> 00:23:21,276
You pushed me and my lover is dead!
That's what I'm gonna tell the cops.
327
00:23:23,362 --> 00:23:27,241
I can't believe that you would pin this
on me when all I did was protect you.
328
00:23:27,324 --> 00:23:28,825
Protect me, really?
329
00:23:28,909 --> 00:23:31,036
He was gonna beat you up.
I saved your life.
330
00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,371
Don't be so dramatic, Gary.
331
00:23:32,454 --> 00:23:34,623
You both would have flown out
of that window,
332
00:23:34,706 --> 00:23:36,542
which now seems like a missed opportunity!
333
00:23:36,625 --> 00:23:38,836
Okay, so don't ever try
and save my life again, then!
334
00:23:39,461 --> 00:23:41,380
I pray that I don't have the chance!
335
00:23:42,756 --> 00:23:44,591
No, Cameron,
you can't walk away from this.
336
00:23:45,467 --> 00:23:46,760
It's your fault!
337
00:23:47,553 --> 00:23:51,932
You know what? You say that one more time,
I swear to God!
338
00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:56,353
When you first told me about your family,
I felt bad for you. I really did.
339
00:23:56,436 --> 00:23:58,146
But you know what? I feel bad for them,
340
00:23:58,230 --> 00:24:01,817
'cause you're that classic closet case
that loves to look like the hero
341
00:24:01,900 --> 00:24:03,151
while playing the victim.
342
00:24:03,235 --> 00:24:07,155
Maybe accept the fact that
you ruined more lives than you saved.
343
00:24:07,239 --> 00:24:09,783
You don't know a fucking thing
about me and my family.
344
00:24:10,284 --> 00:24:12,160
Oh, thank God for that.
345
00:24:12,828 --> 00:24:15,581
It's your house, Gary. Your window.
346
00:24:16,164 --> 00:24:19,001
Every man for himself.
I'm fucking out of here.
347
00:24:19,793 --> 00:24:22,588
You are a pest! You are a menace!
348
00:24:22,671 --> 00:24:25,132
You are a selfish, spoiled boy,
and I have no use for you!
349
00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:28,218
I don't wanna see you or know you!
Get out of my house!
350
00:24:28,802 --> 00:24:31,221
-Is that from Dennis the Menace?
-Go!
351
00:24:32,848 --> 00:24:34,391
Fuck you, Gary!
352
00:25:40,749 --> 00:25:41,917
Oh, God.
353
00:25:43,001 --> 00:25:43,836
Okay.
354
00:25:44,419 --> 00:25:45,254
Okay.
355
00:26:09,862 --> 00:26:10,904
Fuck.
356
00:26:19,204 --> 00:26:20,956
So where are we taking him?
357
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,584
-Why?
-Don't look at me like that.
358
00:26:23,667 --> 00:26:27,713
You're weak, I feel sorry for you,
and thank you for saving my life.
359
00:26:28,672 --> 00:26:31,967
I think he shit himself.
Just grab his hands, come on.
360
00:26:34,553 --> 00:26:35,637
Fuck!
361
00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:40,350
Okay. So should we drag him to the shore,
362
00:26:40,434 --> 00:26:42,936
fill his pockets with rocks,
and then throw him in the lake?
363
00:26:43,020 --> 00:26:46,190
What? Did you just come up with that?
364
00:26:46,273 --> 00:26:47,482
Yeah. Why?
365
00:26:47,566 --> 00:26:49,818
Because that's almost exactly
what we did with Duke.
366
00:26:49,902 --> 00:26:52,779
-Who the fuck is Duke?
-My only real friend.
367
00:26:52,863 --> 00:26:56,742
-Who the fuck are you, Robert Durst?
-Jesus Christ, Cameron!
368
00:26:56,825 --> 00:26:59,828
Duke was a Weimaraner,
who I loved very, very much.
369
00:26:59,912 --> 00:27:02,748
-A who?
-A dog. Duke was a dog.
370
00:27:02,831 --> 00:27:05,542
He loved the water.
It was a fitting send-off.
371
00:27:05,626 --> 00:27:07,878
But dogs don't wear pants.
372
00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:09,796
Oh, God. Cameron, pick him up.
373
00:27:11,673 --> 00:27:15,636
We're dealing with a human body,
a human dead body.
374
00:27:15,719 --> 00:27:19,056
He's gonna smell. He's gonna rot.
375
00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:23,560
He's got a family, a wife who probably
hates him but doesn't want him dead.
376
00:27:23,644 --> 00:27:25,979
Are we talking about the body or you?
377
00:27:42,996 --> 00:27:44,748
I should just take the fall.
378
00:27:45,249 --> 00:27:49,211
No. I don't want Patty
to have to make another calling card.
379
00:27:49,294 --> 00:27:54,341
"After a few months as a homosexual man,
Gary decided to lead a life of crime."
380
00:27:54,424 --> 00:27:57,094
With a wilted rose
as the background this time?
381
00:27:57,678 --> 00:27:58,971
Stunning.
382
00:28:12,526 --> 00:28:14,319
I'm really glad you came back.
383
00:28:16,697 --> 00:28:17,865
Me too.
384
00:28:23,662 --> 00:28:25,914
Oh, fuck! He bled through the tarp!
385
00:28:25,998 --> 00:28:28,792
That's mountain ash wood,
it's really porous.
386
00:28:28,876 --> 00:28:32,504
Oh, my God, you're so gay.
How did nobody know?
387
00:28:33,672 --> 00:28:35,883
Shut up and help me move this thing.
388
00:29:09,249 --> 00:29:12,085
Oh, my God.
Did you invite somebody else over?
389
00:29:12,169 --> 00:29:14,421
-You think I double-booked you?
-Well, did you?
390
00:29:14,505 --> 00:29:15,339
Of course I didn't.
391
00:29:15,422 --> 00:29:17,549
-Answer it.
-I don't wanna answer it.
392
00:29:17,633 --> 00:29:19,760
We can't answer the door.
I have no idea who it is.
393
00:29:21,220 --> 00:29:22,429
Oh, fuck.
394
00:29:22,513 --> 00:29:24,181
Avon lady calling!
395
00:29:25,516 --> 00:29:26,517
It's Sandy.
396
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,685
-Who the fuck is Sandy?
-My neighbor.
397
00:29:28,769 --> 00:29:29,895
Oh, shit.
398
00:29:30,562 --> 00:29:31,563
Gary!
399
00:29:31,647 --> 00:29:35,067
What am I supposed to do?
I'm completely covered in blood.
400
00:29:35,817 --> 00:29:36,944
I know what to do.
401
00:29:37,819 --> 00:29:39,238
Where are you going?
402
00:29:39,321 --> 00:29:42,241
Gary? Is that you?
403
00:29:42,324 --> 00:29:44,243
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
404
00:29:44,326 --> 00:29:46,995
Hello? Gary?
405
00:29:47,079 --> 00:29:49,289
-That's Patty's apron.
-Not anymore.
406
00:29:49,373 --> 00:29:51,375
-What are you gonna do?
-Answer the door.
407
00:29:51,458 --> 00:29:56,672
-No, no, you can't answer the door.
-I'm gonna answer the fucking door.
408
00:30:00,425 --> 00:30:01,260
Hi.
409
00:30:01,343 --> 00:30:02,845
You're not Gary.
410
00:30:02,928 --> 00:30:06,807
No. No, no, no.
I'm cute, and you must be pretty.
411
00:30:06,890 --> 00:30:09,518
So together that means we're pretty cute.
412
00:30:15,566 --> 00:30:18,902
You're a hoot! I'm Sandy.
413
00:30:18,986 --> 00:30:22,948
Oh, Sandy, what brings you over here
this beautiful night?
414
00:30:23,782 --> 00:30:26,618
I should be asking you the same question.
415
00:30:29,913 --> 00:30:32,416
That's so like Gary. A man of few words.
416
00:30:32,499 --> 00:30:36,795
I'm his real estate agent, Kory.
Kory Haim.
417
00:30:36,879 --> 00:30:40,007
-Like the actor?
-No, you're thinking of Feldman.
418
00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:41,842
No, there was two Coreys.
419
00:30:41,925 --> 00:30:45,762
-There was Corey Feldman and Corey Haim.
-No, there's just one.
420
00:30:46,555 --> 00:30:49,308
-Thank you for coming.
-Gary!
421
00:30:49,391 --> 00:30:54,188
Hey, you're not in that gorgeous
little palazzo across the way, are you?
422
00:30:54,271 --> 00:30:57,774
Where is Gary?
And why are you here so late at night?
423
00:30:57,858 --> 00:31:01,570
Oh, I'm doing an inspection. Smog.
424
00:31:01,653 --> 00:31:05,908
You know, I thought I heard
the faint sounds of screaming earlier,
425
00:31:05,991 --> 00:31:08,076
and I thought, well, Gary's home,
426
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:12,831
so naturally I thought I would come on by
on my way to the store.
427
00:31:12,915 --> 00:31:16,668
But I gotta hit the road
before the Ambien kicks in.
428
00:31:16,752 --> 00:31:20,839
-I think it already kicked in.
-Stat! Like they say on Grey's.
429
00:31:20,923 --> 00:31:23,467
Oh! Are you a McDreamy girl?
430
00:31:24,301 --> 00:31:25,928
All the way.
431
00:31:26,011 --> 00:31:28,180
I could see it in your eyes, Sandy.
432
00:31:32,643 --> 00:31:35,562
I just need some flour...
433
00:31:36,355 --> 00:31:40,234
to make my chocolate chip banana bread
for my church group in the morning.
434
00:31:40,317 --> 00:31:43,779
Sure, yeah. Not keto, but very Christian.
435
00:31:43,862 --> 00:31:48,200
We just pray so hard
that the carbs don't stick to our hips.
436
00:31:53,205 --> 00:31:56,291
You know what? I just realized something.
437
00:31:56,375 --> 00:31:58,585
-I know where Gary keeps the flour.
-Wow.
438
00:31:58,669 --> 00:32:02,089
Yeah.
So why don't you just wait right here?
439
00:32:02,172 --> 00:32:05,801
-Right here. Sit, stay.
-Right there. Sit, stay. Sit, stay.
440
00:32:05,884 --> 00:32:09,930
Don't move. Good girl. Good girl.
I'll be right back. Yeah, okay.
441
00:32:14,184 --> 00:32:15,811
He's wearing an apron.
442
00:32:19,982 --> 00:32:21,525
One more won't hurt.
443
00:32:25,988 --> 00:32:27,656
Shit, shit, shit.
444
00:32:30,033 --> 00:32:32,411
Where is the flour? Fuck, fuck, fuck!
445
00:32:32,995 --> 00:32:35,414
-I know.
-What?
446
00:32:36,540 --> 00:32:40,294
You don't have to hide it.
I caught you red-handed.
447
00:32:40,377 --> 00:32:45,007
Okay. Look, it was a whole mistake,
and one thing led to another--
448
00:32:45,090 --> 00:32:48,427
The heart wants what the heart wants.
449
00:32:49,553 --> 00:32:52,556
-What?
-I got Patty's card.
450
00:32:52,639 --> 00:32:54,349
The whole neighborhood did.
451
00:32:54,933 --> 00:32:57,436
You don't have to be ashamed
of loving him.
452
00:32:57,519 --> 00:33:00,397
Gary's a wonderful man.
453
00:33:03,317 --> 00:33:05,068
I'm so close to Patty still.
454
00:33:05,152 --> 00:33:08,030
She's just sick over the whole thing.
455
00:33:08,113 --> 00:33:10,657
She feels terribly about what she did
and how she reacted.
456
00:33:10,741 --> 00:33:13,202
But now he won't talk to her or the boys.
457
00:33:13,285 --> 00:33:14,870
And I know he's hurt,
458
00:33:14,953 --> 00:33:18,457
but she really worries about him,
especially now all by himself--
459
00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:21,877
I'm sorry. Patty...
Patty wants to talk to Gary?
460
00:33:23,128 --> 00:33:26,840
Oh, more than anything.
461
00:33:26,924 --> 00:33:31,512
She's been begging him
to at least just clear the air before he--
462
00:33:32,513 --> 00:33:33,805
You know, just...
463
00:33:35,516 --> 00:33:36,892
Right. That's...
464
00:33:38,644 --> 00:33:39,937
I didn't know that.
465
00:33:40,020 --> 00:33:41,522
I did not know that.
466
00:33:41,605 --> 00:33:44,858
Well, must be awkward.
467
00:33:46,401 --> 00:33:47,903
-For Gary.
-Yeah.
468
00:33:47,986 --> 00:33:52,491
He must not tell you things about the ex.
469
00:33:53,742 --> 00:33:54,993
-Yeah.
-Yeah.
470
00:33:55,077 --> 00:34:01,959
So all that's to say,
no more sneaking around, Mr. Estate Agent.
471
00:34:02,459 --> 00:34:06,255
I'm a cool Christian.
I'm down with the gays.
472
00:34:06,338 --> 00:34:09,591
I may just not bake a cake
for your wedding.
473
00:34:10,551 --> 00:34:13,554
Yeah, well, you already established
you don't have any flour.
474
00:34:13,637 --> 00:34:15,931
Yeah! You got me there!
475
00:34:16,014 --> 00:34:20,185
Oh, where's Gary?
I wanna see you two sinners in action.
476
00:34:20,268 --> 00:34:21,562
Gary!
477
00:34:21,645 --> 00:34:24,022
What the fuck?
478
00:34:27,150 --> 00:34:29,485
-Gary.
-Sandy!
479
00:34:30,862 --> 00:34:34,867
Honey! You did not spill all those cosmos!
480
00:34:35,742 --> 00:34:36,577
Cosmos?
481
00:34:37,369 --> 00:34:41,831
Yes! You got the whole pitcher
right down the front of you.
482
00:34:41,915 --> 00:34:43,708
-Cosmos?
-Yes.
483
00:34:43,792 --> 00:34:47,379
Yes, we were having
Sex and the City role-play night.
484
00:34:47,462 --> 00:34:48,463
Yes.
485
00:34:56,304 --> 00:34:59,349
Well, let's get another pitcher going,
486
00:34:59,433 --> 00:35:05,189
because I'm Samantha, and I love fucking.
487
00:35:08,942 --> 00:35:10,861
Yes, you do, you little scamp.
488
00:35:10,944 --> 00:35:14,198
Church girls know how to kneel.
489
00:35:15,282 --> 00:35:19,703
I'm gonna just make
some more cosmos, then.
490
00:35:19,786 --> 00:35:22,581
-You are such a fucking Charlotte.
-This is so exciting!
491
00:35:22,664 --> 00:35:26,835
It's been ages
since I've had a girls' night like this.
492
00:35:28,837 --> 00:35:30,506
Where's the bathroom again?
493
00:35:30,589 --> 00:35:35,302
I... When I get excited,
I get a little loose down there.
494
00:35:35,385 --> 00:35:36,887
Oh, Jesus.
495
00:35:36,970 --> 00:35:39,681
Okay, I'm gonna just cue up
the second movie.
496
00:35:39,765 --> 00:35:41,308
Everyone's favorite.
497
00:35:41,391 --> 00:35:43,143
Bathroom's right to the left.
498
00:35:46,730 --> 00:35:48,690
Right to the left.
499
00:35:52,945 --> 00:35:54,154
Right to the left.
500
00:35:57,491 --> 00:35:59,326
Why are we watching Sex and the City 2?
501
00:35:59,409 --> 00:36:01,828
You are being such an Aidan.
I need you to be a Mr. Big.
502
00:36:01,912 --> 00:36:05,415
-I have no idea what that even means.
-At least I tell the truth, you bitch.
503
00:36:06,124 --> 00:36:07,167
-What?
-Shut up!
504
00:36:07,793 --> 00:36:08,627
Right...
505
00:36:10,212 --> 00:36:11,713
to the left.
506
00:36:12,422 --> 00:36:15,926
We can dump the body
after Sex and the City, but now, chill.
507
00:36:19,096 --> 00:36:23,976
-Oh, my God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
-Sandy, this is not what it looks like.
508
00:36:24,059 --> 00:36:26,520
-It's not?
-No, it's not.
509
00:36:27,104 --> 00:36:28,897
Okay.
510
00:36:29,565 --> 00:36:31,525
You're right, it's not.
511
00:36:31,608 --> 00:36:33,902
-Sandy...
-You know what? Just...
512
00:36:34,403 --> 00:36:41,201
Let's just 86 the request on the flour,
513
00:36:41,285 --> 00:36:48,208
because I just remembered
that I have some in my pool.
514
00:36:50,210 --> 00:36:53,505
And I would just like to add here,
515
00:36:53,589 --> 00:36:58,468
in no way do I believe
that you are going to hell,
516
00:36:58,552 --> 00:37:02,723
at least not just for being gay.
517
00:37:02,806 --> 00:37:08,937
So I'm just gonna find my way to the door
and then I'm gonna be out of here!
518
00:37:09,021 --> 00:37:10,355
Sandy, wait!
519
00:37:10,439 --> 00:37:12,733
You're gay,
you're supposed to be nice people!
520
00:37:12,816 --> 00:37:13,650
Please.
521
00:37:14,443 --> 00:37:15,485
Sandy.
522
00:37:15,569 --> 00:37:16,820
You locked me in!
523
00:37:16,904 --> 00:37:18,280
No. No, no. Sandy.
524
00:37:18,363 --> 00:37:20,073
You're trying to kill me!
525
00:37:20,157 --> 00:37:23,327
-We're not. It's unlocked, actually.
-Pull, don't push, hon.
526
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:26,997
Sandy! Sandy!
527
00:37:28,540 --> 00:37:29,958
Sandy! Sandy!
528
00:37:30,667 --> 00:37:32,461
-Sandy!
-Sandykins!
529
00:37:32,544 --> 00:37:33,795
Sandy?
530
00:37:34,671 --> 00:37:35,714
Sandy?
531
00:37:38,759 --> 00:37:40,135
We're not gonna hurt you, babe!
532
00:37:40,219 --> 00:37:42,596
Is she astral-projecting?
Where the fuck did she go?
533
00:37:49,186 --> 00:37:50,020
Sandy?
534
00:37:50,103 --> 00:37:51,355
Sandy.
535
00:37:51,438 --> 00:37:52,439
Sandy!
536
00:37:52,940 --> 00:37:53,941
Come out, babe.
537
00:37:54,024 --> 00:37:54,858
Sandy!
538
00:38:01,740 --> 00:38:02,741
Sandy!
539
00:38:06,954 --> 00:38:07,955
Gary?
540
00:38:08,914 --> 00:38:12,751
I have just taken a fistful of drugs,
541
00:38:12,835 --> 00:38:16,588
and I will be sedated or dead
within minutes,
542
00:38:16,672 --> 00:38:21,718
feeling none of the sick,
twisted, homosexual depravity
543
00:38:21,802 --> 00:38:25,973
you subject my Christ-like body to!
544
00:38:27,140 --> 00:38:27,975
Pills!
545
00:38:30,102 --> 00:38:31,478
-Sandy!
-Sandy!
546
00:38:31,562 --> 00:38:32,396
Sandy!
547
00:38:42,406 --> 00:38:43,448
Sandy?
548
00:38:44,658 --> 00:38:45,784
Sandy?
549
00:38:46,493 --> 00:38:49,663
-What in the Hoarders hell?
-Welcome to my old life.
550
00:38:49,746 --> 00:38:53,250
Sandy, listen. I'm really concerned
about the amount of pills you've taken.
551
00:38:53,333 --> 00:38:57,254
And if you have more,
I would absolutely buy them off of you.
552
00:38:59,923 --> 00:39:00,757
Where is she?
553
00:39:02,593 --> 00:39:04,511
-She's not here.
-Of course she's not here.
554
00:39:04,595 --> 00:39:06,889
Why do you even have a dog cage?
555
00:39:06,972 --> 00:39:08,223
It was Duke's.
556
00:39:08,307 --> 00:39:11,018
Right, the dog you Nicole Kidman'd
into the lake.
557
00:39:11,101 --> 00:39:13,061
Virginia Woolf'd, and yes.
558
00:39:13,145 --> 00:39:15,689
-And you still keep his cage?
-To remember him by!
559
00:39:15,772 --> 00:39:17,983
You need to learn to let things go.
It's not healthy.
560
00:39:18,066 --> 00:39:20,652
You mean, you're in a position
to tell me what's healthy?
561
00:39:20,736 --> 00:39:23,155
You hear that? The closet. The closet!
562
00:39:34,875 --> 00:39:35,876
Sandy?
563
00:39:38,170 --> 00:39:40,464
-It's jammed.
-Move, move, move.
564
00:39:44,593 --> 00:39:47,971
-All right, it's obviously locked.
-You can't lock a closet from the inside.
565
00:39:48,055 --> 00:39:51,225
-Says the expert on being in the closet.
-You know what, shut up.
566
00:39:52,184 --> 00:39:53,393
I can let go of things.
567
00:39:53,477 --> 00:39:56,188
I prefer to have the physical evidence
that I was actually here.
568
00:39:56,271 --> 00:39:59,191
Okay, I don't really know if a dog crate
is the best example of that.
569
00:39:59,274 --> 00:40:01,777
-Is everything a joke to you?
-That wasn't a joke.
570
00:40:01,860 --> 00:40:04,738
You ever stop
to consider anybody else's feelings ever?
571
00:40:05,447 --> 00:40:08,075
You wanna talk about
other people's feelings?
572
00:40:08,158 --> 00:40:11,954
Let's talk about how you don't have
the balls to call your own family back.
573
00:40:13,622 --> 00:40:14,957
How do you know that?
574
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:17,835
Yeah.
575
00:40:17,918 --> 00:40:20,504
She said Patty wants to talk to you,
but you just refuse.
576
00:40:20,587 --> 00:40:23,006
-You wouldn't understand.
-So you're gay.
577
00:40:23,632 --> 00:40:26,093
So they reacted badly. Call them back.
578
00:40:26,176 --> 00:40:31,265
Okay, let me take some advice from a kid
who gives happy endings for a living.
579
00:40:32,349 --> 00:40:35,394
The operative word there is "happy,"
you sad fuck.
580
00:40:35,477 --> 00:40:37,229
-Oh, I'm sad?
-Yeah.
581
00:40:37,813 --> 00:40:41,775
Why don't you examine your own
uneducated existence, you Jezebel!
582
00:40:44,027 --> 00:40:45,445
Jezebel?
583
00:40:46,029 --> 00:40:49,408
When I find out who Jezebel is,
I assume I'm gonna be so mad at you!
584
00:40:49,491 --> 00:40:50,534
Don't follow me!
585
00:40:50,617 --> 00:40:51,952
Hey, you know what?
586
00:40:52,035 --> 00:40:55,330
Your life isn't the only one that changed
when you decided to come out.
587
00:40:55,414 --> 00:40:57,958
I had to be someone I hated for them!
588
00:40:58,041 --> 00:41:00,961
-And that's not their fault.
-And you think I don't know that?
589
00:41:01,795 --> 00:41:04,298
Gary. Gary, where are you going?
590
00:41:05,883 --> 00:41:06,717
Fuck!
591
00:41:33,493 --> 00:41:35,954
I always did what I was supposed to do.
592
00:41:38,332 --> 00:41:39,708
I went to church.
593
00:41:43,962 --> 00:41:45,506
I married young.
594
00:41:45,589 --> 00:41:47,925
I had kids
when I was younger than you are!
595
00:41:48,008 --> 00:41:50,594
Imagine if I had a kid right now.
That'd be so toxic.
596
00:41:50,677 --> 00:41:52,763
I followed all the rules!
597
00:41:54,973 --> 00:41:57,976
I didn't smoke. I drank in moderation.
598
00:41:59,937 --> 00:42:01,939
I cut fat out of my diet in the '90s
599
00:42:02,022 --> 00:42:04,900
and put it back in 2013
when avocados got big!
600
00:42:05,526 --> 00:42:08,111
-Okay.
-My whole life, I've been good!
601
00:42:09,947 --> 00:42:11,532
A good husband.
602
00:42:13,867 --> 00:42:15,035
A good father.
603
00:42:15,827 --> 00:42:18,163
Okay. That was a little bit hard.
604
00:42:18,872 --> 00:42:20,165
A good man!
605
00:42:22,251 --> 00:42:25,128
I didn't enjoy any of it!
606
00:42:27,589 --> 00:42:29,675
Gary, seriously,
you just hit my fucking head.
607
00:42:29,758 --> 00:42:30,843
And you know what?
608
00:42:32,010 --> 00:42:33,804
There is a part of me,
609
00:42:33,887 --> 00:42:37,558
some terrible part of me,
that blames them. But it's my fault!
610
00:42:37,641 --> 00:42:40,561
It's all my fault! It's my fault!
611
00:42:43,230 --> 00:42:44,064
Oh, my God.
612
00:42:44,648 --> 00:42:45,858
It's my fault.
613
00:42:45,941 --> 00:42:48,652
Gary? Gary, Gary!
614
00:42:49,278 --> 00:42:52,990
-Gary. Hey, just breathe. Come on.
-I can't breathe.
615
00:42:53,073 --> 00:42:55,158
Come on. Come on.
616
00:42:55,993 --> 00:42:59,079
-You're okay. I know.
-I can't breathe. I can't breathe.
617
00:42:59,162 --> 00:43:01,081
-Breathe. Breathe.
-I can't breathe.
618
00:43:02,291 --> 00:43:05,961
I can't breathe. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
619
00:43:07,546 --> 00:43:10,549
I'm sorry for calling you Jezebel.
620
00:43:11,049 --> 00:43:13,343
I don't even know who Jezebel is.
621
00:43:13,427 --> 00:43:17,848
But if she's anything like me, we stan.
Is she hot?
622
00:43:24,605 --> 00:43:28,400
You know, I actually envy you, Gary.
623
00:43:28,483 --> 00:43:31,486
-Oh, please.
-No, seriously, I do.
624
00:43:32,154 --> 00:43:35,741
You spent your whole life
lying to everyone about everything,
625
00:43:35,824 --> 00:43:37,868
but you still have a lot to show for it.
626
00:43:38,368 --> 00:43:42,456
You do. You're having a panic attack
on your own damn tennis court!
627
00:43:52,174 --> 00:43:55,385
My dad didn't even acknowledge
when I told him I was gay.
628
00:43:58,055 --> 00:44:00,098
He just said, "Not to me, you're not."
629
00:44:01,600 --> 00:44:05,145
And then he went back to watching TV
like it never happened.
630
00:44:08,357 --> 00:44:13,654
Next day, I left a note on my bed,
drove away, never to return.
631
00:44:16,448 --> 00:44:17,866
What did the note say?
632
00:44:20,744 --> 00:44:22,287
"Fuck you, you bigoted fat fuck.
633
00:44:22,371 --> 00:44:24,748
Your son's a sissy whore faggot
who loves it in the ass."
634
00:44:26,083 --> 00:44:29,711
Or something to that effect.
I can't really remember, but...
635
00:44:31,463 --> 00:44:33,173
He actually meant well, I think.
636
00:44:34,007 --> 00:44:37,636
In his own weird, demented way, he...
637
00:44:40,305 --> 00:44:42,933
He thought that if I was gay,
he had to stop loving me.
638
00:44:44,852 --> 00:44:48,313
So he chose to ignore it
because he wanted to keep loving his son.
639
00:44:49,940 --> 00:44:52,651
But loving someone with conditions
isn't love, it's...
640
00:44:55,028 --> 00:44:55,863
prison.
641
00:45:01,618 --> 00:45:03,245
You're a good man, Cam.
642
00:45:08,375 --> 00:45:12,754
Yeah, based on tonight, I don't think
either one of us is technically that good,
643
00:45:12,838 --> 00:45:14,381
but I appreciate that.
644
00:45:19,344 --> 00:45:23,223
Well, at least it's some relief
knowing there are people out there
645
00:45:23,307 --> 00:45:25,309
being worse than us in the world.
646
00:45:27,269 --> 00:45:28,103
Yeah.
647
00:45:29,479 --> 00:45:30,314
Yeah.
648
00:45:32,858 --> 00:45:34,193
What did you just say?
649
00:45:36,195 --> 00:45:38,113
There are worse people in the world?
650
00:45:40,199 --> 00:45:43,160
Gary. Gary, you're a fucking genius.
651
00:45:43,243 --> 00:45:45,120
-I am?
-Yes! Yes!
652
00:45:45,204 --> 00:45:48,624
We just have
to find somebody worse than us.
653
00:45:48,707 --> 00:45:53,504
Someone that is so insane and deranged,
they'll get us out of this whole mess.
654
00:45:53,587 --> 00:45:56,256
-All we have to do is--
-Get back on Plungr.
655
00:45:57,007 --> 00:45:59,593
The beginning and the end
of all of life's problems.
656
00:46:01,637 --> 00:46:04,014
You have got to work
on your internalized homophobia.
657
00:46:04,097 --> 00:46:05,599
It is seriously shocking.
658
00:46:07,184 --> 00:46:08,810
Let's go, Gary!
659
00:46:11,772 --> 00:46:13,148
"Let's go, Gary."
660
00:46:20,364 --> 00:46:23,033
-What are you doing?
-The dark web, Gary.
661
00:46:24,701 --> 00:46:28,288
-On Looking2Succ's phone?
-You want it traced back to yours?
662
00:46:28,372 --> 00:46:29,373
Hold this.
663
00:46:30,499 --> 00:46:32,751
-Do the facial recognition!
-Jesus Christ.
664
00:46:32,835 --> 00:46:33,669
Do it!
665
00:46:39,758 --> 00:46:41,385
-What happens now?
-I'm doing it, Gary.
666
00:46:41,468 --> 00:46:43,220
-Doing what?
-The dark web.
667
00:46:48,016 --> 00:46:49,977
-Is it hard to do?
-Honey!
668
00:46:50,060 --> 00:46:52,062
Why don't you make us
some coffee or something?
669
00:46:55,274 --> 00:46:57,693
Okay. "Church organist,
can play with or without pipes."
670
00:46:57,776 --> 00:47:00,821
Why would a church organist advertise
on the dark web?
671
00:47:00,904 --> 00:47:03,532
-It's code.
-For what? Sex stuff?
672
00:47:03,615 --> 00:47:05,242
Organ harvesting, duh.
673
00:47:07,536 --> 00:47:10,122
"Circus, Circus, Tigers,
and Bears, Oh, Die."
674
00:47:10,914 --> 00:47:12,082
I don't think I wanna know.
675
00:47:12,165 --> 00:47:14,334
They're either into bestiality
or an arms dealer.
676
00:47:15,085 --> 00:47:17,462
Those are two very different things.
677
00:47:17,546 --> 00:47:19,047
One would think.
678
00:47:21,091 --> 00:47:23,051
Okay, this one says, "Shit on my chest."
679
00:47:24,011 --> 00:47:27,973
Shit. Okay, so shit's brown.
Brown is also the color of dirt.
680
00:47:29,141 --> 00:47:33,770
Chest, like burying a chest?
Like treasure? Like pirates?
681
00:47:33,854 --> 00:47:36,773
They literally just want someone
to shit on their chest, Gary.
682
00:47:38,275 --> 00:47:41,987
Right? It's like, "Go back to Plungr
where you belong, scat queen."
683
00:47:43,447 --> 00:47:45,574
Gary. Gary, this is our guy.
684
00:47:45,657 --> 00:47:48,952
"Fleshpuppet.
Collecting lifeless lamb chops for play,
685
00:47:49,036 --> 00:47:52,164
with no strings to hold me down,
or attached."
686
00:47:52,247 --> 00:47:55,375
-"Fleshpuppet"?
-Geppetto would never.
687
00:47:55,459 --> 00:47:58,962
"Collecting lifeless lamb chops for play"?
688
00:47:59,046 --> 00:48:01,381
-I don't like the sound of that.
-I do.
689
00:48:01,465 --> 00:48:03,967
Let him take this literal 6'2" lamb chop
off our hands.
690
00:48:04,051 --> 00:48:06,386
What does he want with dead bodies?
691
00:48:06,470 --> 00:48:08,597
Fuck them, eat them,
fuck them and eat them,
692
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:09,973
fuck them while eating them,
693
00:48:10,057 --> 00:48:12,142
make a skin suit out of them,
sell them for parts,
694
00:48:12,226 --> 00:48:13,393
dress them up like his mom.
695
00:48:13,477 --> 00:48:16,188
The list goes on and on.
Haven't you ever seen a movie before?
696
00:48:16,271 --> 00:48:19,316
Anyway, that's none of our business, okay?
We are just the supplier.
697
00:48:19,399 --> 00:48:22,069
Do not go getting
a moral compass on me again.
698
00:48:22,152 --> 00:48:24,655
We should probably clean ourselves up
before he comes over.
699
00:48:24,738 --> 00:48:26,490
Does that really matter at this point?
700
00:48:26,573 --> 00:48:28,534
Gary, just because you're dying
does not mean
701
00:48:28,617 --> 00:48:30,202
you shouldn't always look your best.
702
00:48:30,285 --> 00:48:33,205
I was not talking about my appearance.
I was talking about the blood.
703
00:48:33,288 --> 00:48:36,834
Oh, my God, Gary, you're right.
We need to give you a makeover!
704
00:48:36,917 --> 00:48:38,919
-Cameron, no.
-Yes!
705
00:49:33,765 --> 00:49:36,560
Ta-da!
706
00:49:38,395 --> 00:49:39,521
Okay.
707
00:49:40,564 --> 00:49:42,900
I look like me, but in blue.
708
00:49:42,983 --> 00:49:43,984
Yeah.
709
00:49:44,985 --> 00:49:48,947
You are a total zaddy, Gary.
710
00:49:50,782 --> 00:49:54,286
Okay. I am a cool...
711
00:49:54,369 --> 00:49:56,955
hot zaddy.
712
00:49:58,165 --> 00:50:01,084
-Can you please not smoke inside?
-It's not smoke, it's vaping.
713
00:50:01,168 --> 00:50:02,211
Just don't do it inside.
714
00:50:02,294 --> 00:50:04,588
We killed a man two hours ago,
but I can't vape inside?
715
00:50:04,671 --> 00:50:06,215
Accidentally killed a man.
716
00:50:06,298 --> 00:50:08,634
Isn't weed supposed to be good for you,
with the cancer?
717
00:50:08,717 --> 00:50:11,720
-I prefer edibles.
-No, too many carbs.
718
00:50:12,596 --> 00:50:13,639
Screw it.
719
00:50:15,182 --> 00:50:17,726
-How do I work it?
-You just press the button.
720
00:50:17,809 --> 00:50:19,686
-Hold it? Press it?
-And inhale.
721
00:50:19,770 --> 00:50:20,771
And then what?
722
00:50:22,022 --> 00:50:23,357
-Fleshpuppet.
-Fleshpuppet.
723
00:50:27,945 --> 00:50:30,322
-Oh, my God.
-Buck.
724
00:50:33,867 --> 00:50:35,452
I'm Gary.
725
00:50:36,286 --> 00:50:38,205
All right, Gary.
You gonna let me in or what?
726
00:50:38,288 --> 00:50:39,373
Oh, yeah.
727
00:50:41,416 --> 00:50:42,251
Cool.
728
00:50:46,171 --> 00:50:49,424
Oh, my God.
729
00:50:51,009 --> 00:50:53,387
Who are you?
730
00:50:54,721 --> 00:50:57,474
Cameron, this is Buck.
731
00:50:58,392 --> 00:50:59,643
Fleshpuppet?
732
00:51:01,854 --> 00:51:02,688
Buck.
733
00:51:05,065 --> 00:51:08,360
-You're, like, hot.
-Yeah, I know. Life ain't fair.
734
00:51:08,443 --> 00:51:10,112
So where's the body?
735
00:51:10,696 --> 00:51:12,948
Quick question before we begin.
736
00:51:13,031 --> 00:51:14,408
-Are you a cop?
-A cop?
737
00:51:14,491 --> 00:51:17,536
-Yes.
-What? No! Wait, are you?
738
00:51:17,619 --> 00:51:18,954
No.
739
00:51:19,037 --> 00:51:21,748
Are you? You kind of look like a cop.
740
00:51:21,832 --> 00:51:25,252
-Oh, thank you.
-That's not a compliment.
741
00:51:25,335 --> 00:51:28,589
No, I'm not a cop at all.
Of course not, I'm not a cop.
742
00:51:29,256 --> 00:51:32,634
Good. 'Cause the dark web's
built on trust.
743
00:51:32,718 --> 00:51:34,261
Stitch that into a pillow.
744
00:51:36,471 --> 00:51:41,810
Where are my manners, Buck?
Can I offer you something to drink?
745
00:51:41,894 --> 00:51:42,811
Y'all got Red Bull?
746
00:51:42,895 --> 00:51:45,397
-Oh, my God. I wish.
-That's the one thing I don't have.
747
00:51:46,064 --> 00:51:47,191
Fuck!
748
00:51:47,774 --> 00:51:50,360
I don't know exactly
how to get this thing started,
749
00:51:50,444 --> 00:51:53,947
so why don't I just tell you a little bit
about how we got into this pickle?
750
00:51:54,031 --> 00:51:56,992
Cameron and I invited over
this gentleman--
751
00:51:57,075 --> 00:51:58,285
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
752
00:51:58,869 --> 00:52:01,496
-The body's a man?
-Yes.
753
00:52:01,580 --> 00:52:02,581
Is that okay?
754
00:52:03,916 --> 00:52:07,044
-Body's a body.
-Oh, my God. Progressive. You're hot.
755
00:52:07,127 --> 00:52:10,631
Okay. So we invited over
this lovely gentleman.
756
00:52:10,714 --> 00:52:13,675
Well, we thought he was lovely.
It turns out that he was really angry--
757
00:52:13,759 --> 00:52:16,720
This closeted fuck came over
and fell out the window, all right?
758
00:52:17,304 --> 00:52:19,556
-That sounds ambiguous.
-No, no.
759
00:52:19,640 --> 00:52:23,185
We assure you that everything
that happened was an accident.
760
00:52:23,268 --> 00:52:25,604
-Where did you kill him?
-Right outside.
761
00:52:25,687 --> 00:52:27,523
-You moved the body?
-It's in the closet.
762
00:52:27,606 --> 00:52:30,776
That makes your cleanup much trickier.
You guys ever seen Gone Girl?
763
00:52:30,859 --> 00:52:32,861
Just the part with Ben Affleck's dick.
764
00:52:32,945 --> 00:52:34,279
-Gary.
-What?
765
00:52:34,363 --> 00:52:37,908
So you guys have never dealt
with a crime scene cleanup before.
766
00:52:39,117 --> 00:52:40,410
-No.
-No. No.
767
00:52:40,494 --> 00:52:41,411
Well...
768
00:52:41,495 --> 00:52:43,372
Lucky for you guys, I come prepared.
769
00:52:44,081 --> 00:52:46,083
All right. A little bit about me.
770
00:52:46,166 --> 00:52:49,086
I'm a Capricorn with Cancer rising.
771
00:52:49,169 --> 00:52:51,129
I love long-distance running,
772
00:52:51,213 --> 00:52:53,757
old science textbooks,
and fucking dead bodies.
773
00:52:53,841 --> 00:52:56,552
Oh, my God. I am such a sucker
for Capricorns, Gary.
774
00:52:56,635 --> 00:52:59,263
Because I'm a Christian,
I'll walk you through the deep clean,
775
00:52:59,346 --> 00:53:01,640
but you're gonna have to do
the legwork yourself.
776
00:53:01,723 --> 00:53:05,561
All I need in return is the body,
no questions asked.
777
00:53:06,353 --> 00:53:11,400
I'm sorry, just the one question
about "fucking dead bodies"?
778
00:53:11,483 --> 00:53:12,651
No questions asked.
779
00:53:12,734 --> 00:53:14,236
Right, but just the one question
780
00:53:14,319 --> 00:53:15,737
-before no questions.
-No, no, no.
781
00:53:15,821 --> 00:53:20,033
That's all, that's all, that's all.
Thank you so much, Mr. Fleshpuppet.
782
00:53:20,117 --> 00:53:21,869
-I'm having second thoughts.
-Too late.
783
00:53:21,952 --> 00:53:23,328
What do you care what he does to the body?
784
00:53:23,412 --> 00:53:25,914
-I care.
-Wanna keep it? Put it in the freezer?
785
00:53:25,998 --> 00:53:27,708
-I don't wanna keep it.
-Ut-shay up-yay!
786
00:53:27,791 --> 00:53:29,710
Get me out of here!
787
00:53:33,213 --> 00:53:35,966
Sounds like you got more than one problem
on your hands, boys.
788
00:53:36,049 --> 00:53:39,761
-No, just Sex and the City.
-No, that's Real Housewives of...
789
00:53:39,845 --> 00:53:41,054
-Reno.
-Reno.
790
00:53:41,138 --> 00:53:42,431
Marathon.
791
00:53:43,390 --> 00:53:46,310
-We're Bravoheads.
-Bravo.
792
00:53:48,270 --> 00:53:50,856
All right. Y'all got oxygen-based bleach?
793
00:53:50,939 --> 00:53:52,065
I'll go check.
794
00:53:58,363 --> 00:54:00,282
Banging fucking house, Gary.
795
00:54:01,825 --> 00:54:04,244
-Thank you.
-What's this?
796
00:54:07,539 --> 00:54:09,958
Put that down. Please.
797
00:54:11,543 --> 00:54:13,212
It's just very delicate.
798
00:54:21,386 --> 00:54:22,387
Thank you.
799
00:54:29,645 --> 00:54:32,481
You guys are making
very quick work of this.
800
00:54:32,564 --> 00:54:34,983
I'm impressed.
I might have to hire you guys.
801
00:54:36,860 --> 00:54:40,155
Yeah. Thank you for all of your help.
802
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:43,617
Yeah. I mean, crime-scene cleaning
can be so exhausting.
803
00:54:45,661 --> 00:54:47,663
You guys mind if I take a smoke break?
804
00:54:47,746 --> 00:54:49,831
-I think we should keep working through--
-Gary.
805
00:54:51,083 --> 00:54:52,960
Fine. Patio's just--
806
00:54:53,043 --> 00:54:55,420
We already vaped inside.
Who cares if he smokes?
807
00:54:55,504 --> 00:54:57,172
Yeah, you're the guest.
808
00:55:09,810 --> 00:55:11,186
Oh, did you want some?
809
00:55:12,229 --> 00:55:14,022
I thought you would never ask.
810
00:55:14,898 --> 00:55:17,985
Oh, sorry.
Gary, did you wanna hit it first?
811
00:55:18,068 --> 00:55:20,529
Oh, yes, for the host with the most.
812
00:55:21,363 --> 00:55:23,115
-Go on.
-No, I'm fine.
813
00:55:23,699 --> 00:55:24,908
Suit yourself, narc.
814
00:55:24,992 --> 00:55:27,619
Would you just excuse us
for one second, please?
815
00:55:28,161 --> 00:55:29,580
You're trying to embarrass me?
816
00:55:35,711 --> 00:55:38,755
-Get in here.
-Crack is where I draw the line.
817
00:55:38,839 --> 00:55:39,882
Gary--
818
00:55:39,965 --> 00:55:43,427
-Oh, my God, this powder room.
-Well...
819
00:55:43,510 --> 00:55:46,471
This was Patty's design.
I would take a more minimalist approach.
820
00:55:46,555 --> 00:55:49,474
Wow, you gave her one room to decorate.
You are an oppressor.
821
00:55:54,646 --> 00:55:57,316
Okay, speaking of,
can you please be cool out there?
822
00:55:57,399 --> 00:55:59,067
There is nothing cool about crack!
823
00:55:59,151 --> 00:56:01,862
Do you know how hard it is
to get crack offered to you guilt-free?
824
00:56:01,945 --> 00:56:03,155
-"Guilt-free"?
-Yeah.
825
00:56:03,238 --> 00:56:05,782
This isn't a fucking
cauliflower-crust pizza, Cameron.
826
00:56:05,866 --> 00:56:06,950
It's a Class A narcotic!
827
00:56:07,034 --> 00:56:10,579
Gary, do you know how much crack
I'd be smoking if I was dying right now?
828
00:56:11,205 --> 00:56:12,998
-A lot.
-Yes, that is correct. A lot.
829
00:56:13,081 --> 00:56:14,666
A lot of fucking crack!
830
00:56:14,750 --> 00:56:17,044
How does that song go?
"Smoke crack like you're dying."
831
00:56:17,127 --> 00:56:19,505
I've never heard it,
but I'm sure that's not how it goes.
832
00:56:19,588 --> 00:56:20,589
Whatever. It's a remix.
833
00:56:20,672 --> 00:56:23,467
We are gonna go out there
and smoke a shit-ton of crack
834
00:56:23,550 --> 00:56:25,469
with the guy who's gonna get
this dead body off our hands.
835
00:56:25,552 --> 00:56:27,179
-And you'll be cool about it!
-Cameron.
836
00:56:27,262 --> 00:56:28,096
-No!
-Yes!
837
00:56:33,060 --> 00:56:35,771
Nicely done, papa.
838
00:56:35,854 --> 00:56:37,731
-Not too much, Cam.
-Get fucked.
839
00:56:37,814 --> 00:56:40,609
We just killed a man and there's
a sweet church lady in the closet.
840
00:56:40,692 --> 00:56:43,362
I knew there was a lady upstairs.
I love you guys.
841
00:56:43,445 --> 00:56:45,155
I'm gonna smoke as much crack as I want,
842
00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:47,950
because it's been a lot of firsts
for me too tonight, Gary.
843
00:56:48,033 --> 00:56:49,284
Where are you going?
844
00:56:57,417 --> 00:56:58,544
Holy shit.
845
00:57:00,337 --> 00:57:01,672
Fuck! I feel...
846
00:57:03,590 --> 00:57:04,758
I feel like...
847
00:57:06,134 --> 00:57:08,220
I remember my first light.
848
00:57:08,303 --> 00:57:12,432
It's like I took a flight,
a pleasure in your mind.
849
00:57:13,058 --> 00:57:14,810
It feels just right.
850
00:57:14,893 --> 00:57:17,020
Whoa! Did that just rhyme?
851
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:21,275
-Did you hear that?
-No, I didn't hear anything.
852
00:57:21,984 --> 00:57:25,195
It's your subconscious, Gary.
Guilt's creeping in.
853
00:57:25,279 --> 00:57:27,322
Just ignore it. That's what I do.
854
00:57:32,286 --> 00:57:33,954
Did you hear that?
855
00:57:34,037 --> 00:57:36,999
That sound in your head,
it's like a popping sound.
856
00:57:43,380 --> 00:57:46,800
Totally normal.
It's your mind expanding, my friends.
857
00:57:46,884 --> 00:57:50,179
Just ignore the demons
and focus on the feeling.
858
00:57:51,263 --> 00:57:52,264
The feeling.
859
00:57:53,307 --> 00:57:54,600
I feel...
860
00:58:01,732 --> 00:58:02,774
I feel...
861
00:58:05,527 --> 00:58:06,737
Good.
862
00:58:06,820 --> 00:58:12,659
Where have
Where have you been all my life and
863
00:58:12,743 --> 00:58:15,454
Boy don't stop taking me
High
864
00:58:15,537 --> 00:58:19,458
Midnight in Brooklyn
You leaned in first
865
00:58:19,541 --> 00:58:23,253
I wasn't looking
But there you were
866
00:58:23,337 --> 00:58:26,965
My fallen angel
Calling my name, calling my name
867
00:58:27,049 --> 00:58:31,178
My fallen angel
Calling my name, calling my name
868
00:58:31,261 --> 00:58:34,890
Lost in a dark room
Walking on air
869
00:58:34,973 --> 00:58:38,602
Don't have to see you
To know you're there
870
00:58:38,685 --> 00:58:42,648
-Die for the way you're
-Dancing on me, dancing on me
871
00:58:42,731 --> 00:58:46,235
-Die for the way you're
-Dancing on me, dancing on me
872
00:58:47,361 --> 00:58:50,489
The way you make me feel
I swear you take me higher
873
00:58:50,572 --> 00:58:54,785
Yes, I'm your every desire
Take me home, but take me higher
874
00:58:54,868 --> 00:58:58,163
The way you make me feel
I swear you take me higher
875
00:58:58,247 --> 00:59:02,543
Yes, I'm your every desire
When you take me higher
876
00:59:02,626 --> 00:59:08,048
Where have
Where have you been all my life and
877
00:59:08,131 --> 00:59:11,093
Boy don't stop taking me
High
878
00:59:11,176 --> 00:59:14,847
Higher than I've ever been
High
879
00:59:14,930 --> 00:59:17,099
Higher than the heavens is
880
00:59:18,141 --> 00:59:23,772
No lie
No lie, your hands keep my hands tied
881
00:59:23,856 --> 00:59:26,233
Boy don't stop taking me
High
882
00:59:26,316 --> 00:59:30,070
Higher than I've ever been
High
883
00:59:30,153 --> 00:59:33,073
Higher than the heavens is
884
00:59:33,156 --> 00:59:36,326
Jump into diamonds
A thousand eyes
885
00:59:36,410 --> 00:59:40,998
Watching the silence
As we get higher
886
00:59:41,081 --> 00:59:42,666
Is this what it's like?
887
00:59:44,626 --> 00:59:45,627
What's like?
888
00:59:52,426 --> 00:59:55,596
Yeah, this is what it's like.
889
00:59:59,766 --> 01:00:00,767
Come on.
890
01:01:35,612 --> 01:01:38,198
Crack is so bad for you.
891
01:01:38,282 --> 01:01:40,033
Really, really bad.
892
01:01:40,909 --> 01:01:44,454
Very, very, very bad.
893
01:01:45,706 --> 01:01:46,707
For sure.
894
01:01:50,419 --> 01:01:52,921
You guys doing anything for the Rapture?
895
01:01:54,756 --> 01:01:56,925
-What?
-The Rapture.
896
01:01:57,593 --> 01:02:00,137
Doomsday. End times.
897
01:02:01,555 --> 01:02:04,683
I just finished building my bomb shelter.
898
01:02:04,766 --> 01:02:06,768
I got a full kit and everything.
899
01:02:07,394 --> 01:02:09,229
I put all my regalia in there.
900
01:02:10,397 --> 01:02:12,316
You guys are welcome to join me.
901
01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:14,776
Thanks, Fleshpuppet.
902
01:02:15,402 --> 01:02:16,904
What about you, narc?
903
01:02:20,240 --> 01:02:22,659
I don't think I'll be seeing
the end of the world.
904
01:02:23,869 --> 01:02:25,787
-Don't be such a pessimist.
-Hey.
905
01:02:26,330 --> 01:02:27,414
He's dying.
906
01:02:29,333 --> 01:02:32,503
-That's hot.
-Keep it in your pants.
907
01:02:33,837 --> 01:02:34,963
How much longer you got?
908
01:02:35,047 --> 01:02:37,132
Okay, that's so rude.
You don't ask people that.
909
01:02:40,552 --> 01:02:42,179
Wait, how much longer do you got?
910
01:02:43,597 --> 01:02:44,598
A month.
911
01:02:46,058 --> 01:02:48,435
-A month?
-Give or take.
912
01:02:54,650 --> 01:02:55,651
I'm gonna...
913
01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:57,694
I'm gonna let you guys
914
01:02:57,778 --> 01:03:00,948
Terms of Endearment it up together
for a little bit.
915
01:03:01,031 --> 01:03:04,451
Gary, I'm gonna go jack off
in one of your many bathrooms.
916
01:03:07,412 --> 01:03:09,289
That's okay. I think...
917
01:03:11,041 --> 01:03:12,918
we should all go inside now.
918
01:03:29,059 --> 01:03:30,686
Gary, I had no idea.
919
01:03:32,938 --> 01:03:34,439
I didn't tell you, so...
920
01:03:35,065 --> 01:03:36,525
I wish you would have.
921
01:03:38,443 --> 01:03:39,444
Cameron.
922
01:03:44,157 --> 01:03:45,617
Where's my egg?
923
01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:53,792
Well, gentlemen, that was fun.
924
01:03:54,376 --> 01:03:56,837
But I should probably collect my corpse
925
01:03:56,920 --> 01:03:59,298
and skedaddle
before the rest of the world wakes up.
926
01:03:59,381 --> 01:04:02,843
You know, can't be seen
dragging a dead body around
927
01:04:02,926 --> 01:04:04,595
in broad daylight, now, can we?
928
01:04:07,472 --> 01:04:08,891
Gary. Gary!
929
01:04:09,892 --> 01:04:12,603
-Give me my egg.
-What the fuck are you talking about?
930
01:04:12,686 --> 01:04:15,564
-Did you put it down your pants?
-No, that's my dick.
931
01:04:16,315 --> 01:04:18,025
We both saw your dick in the lake, Buck,
932
01:04:18,108 --> 01:04:20,485
and we can all agree
it doesn't look anything like that.
933
01:04:20,569 --> 01:04:23,488
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's be a little bit
empathetic to shrinkage, boys.
934
01:04:23,572 --> 01:04:25,616
That is my great-great-grandmother's
fucking egg,
935
01:04:25,699 --> 01:04:27,326
and you better fucking give it back.
936
01:04:31,038 --> 01:04:32,164
Or what?
937
01:04:35,709 --> 01:04:37,377
Boys. Boys.
938
01:04:38,003 --> 01:04:40,923
Come on, there's a better way
we can work this out, right?
939
01:04:41,757 --> 01:04:42,591
Right?
940
01:04:43,592 --> 01:04:46,678
All right. You're right. You're right.
941
01:04:46,762 --> 01:04:49,723
You caught me. Let's make a deal, okay?
942
01:04:49,806 --> 01:04:53,060
I will give you
your great-grandmother's egg back...
943
01:04:54,478 --> 01:04:56,688
if I can have your body after you go.
944
01:04:58,941 --> 01:05:02,152
Oh, my God. You sick fuck!
945
01:05:02,236 --> 01:05:03,612
Okay, okay. You wanna trade?
946
01:05:03,695 --> 01:05:05,697
Give him his egg back
and you can get your body.
947
01:05:05,781 --> 01:05:08,617
-Oh, that body's already mine.
-Well, that egg is fucking mine!
948
01:05:09,952 --> 01:05:12,579
Worms are gonna be eating
your dead gay ass in a month.
949
01:05:12,663 --> 01:05:14,039
What does it even matter?
950
01:05:14,122 --> 01:05:14,957
Jesus.
951
01:05:16,375 --> 01:05:17,376
Yeah.
952
01:05:19,378 --> 01:05:21,797
What does anything fucking matter?
953
01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:23,090
Yeah.
954
01:05:23,173 --> 01:05:25,384
What, did I say something insensitive?
Why is he--?
955
01:05:25,467 --> 01:05:29,805
-Okay, you know what? Fuck you.
-It's cute you care about your friend.
956
01:05:30,764 --> 01:05:32,057
All right, fine. What do you want?
957
01:05:33,392 --> 01:05:36,019
-I get the dead guy's truck.
-Why do you want a truck?
958
01:05:36,103 --> 01:05:38,188
I Uber'd here.
I lost everything in the divorce.
959
01:05:38,272 --> 01:05:40,899
All right. Whatever. Sure. Deal.
960
01:05:45,946 --> 01:05:47,322
My dick isn't tiny.
961
01:05:48,156 --> 01:05:49,783
No, I need you to verbalize it for me.
962
01:05:49,867 --> 01:05:51,159
-Tell me.
-Seriously?
963
01:05:51,910 --> 01:05:54,079
-Okay, your dick is not tiny.
-Thank you.
964
01:05:54,162 --> 01:05:58,125
Okay. All right.
Now let's go get you your dead body.
965
01:05:58,208 --> 01:05:59,835
Finally. Jesus.
966
01:06:00,752 --> 01:06:04,047
So he has a habit of falling out,
so just keep that in mind.
967
01:06:04,131 --> 01:06:06,550
-This ain't my first rodeo, pal.
-Hey.
968
01:06:07,801 --> 01:06:11,138
-I don't want Buck to have the body.
-Gary, it's practically rush hour.
969
01:06:11,221 --> 01:06:13,473
No, we cannot give the body to this...
970
01:06:14,224 --> 01:06:16,351
twisted, dark-sided psychopath.
971
01:06:16,935 --> 01:06:20,480
Okay, I'm starting to feel judged,
and I'm about to get mad.
972
01:06:20,564 --> 01:06:22,941
No, no, don't get mad.
We're gonna give you your body.
973
01:06:23,025 --> 01:06:25,944
-He deserves a proper burial.
-Jesus Christ, I'm not an animal.
974
01:06:26,028 --> 01:06:28,488
I'm gonna bury him
after I'm done fucking him. Jesus.
975
01:06:28,572 --> 01:06:30,741
-Open the door and give me the body.
-Don't open the door.
976
01:06:30,824 --> 01:06:32,701
Open the door. Open the door.
977
01:06:32,784 --> 01:06:35,078
-Do not open the door.
-Shut up! Open the fucking door!
978
01:06:35,162 --> 01:06:37,122
-I'm opening the fucking door!
-Thank you.
979
01:06:39,958 --> 01:06:41,752
-What the fuck?
-What the fuck?
980
01:06:44,254 --> 01:06:45,380
Shit.
981
01:06:55,140 --> 01:06:58,644
What the fuck?
He's still alive, you fucking idiots.
982
01:06:58,727 --> 01:06:59,978
We're in the clear!
983
01:07:00,812 --> 01:07:02,397
-I'm not gay!
-Babe, what?
984
01:07:02,481 --> 01:07:04,566
I'm not gay! I'm not gay!
985
01:07:04,650 --> 01:07:07,986
Now, sir, you've been seriously injured.
986
01:07:08,070 --> 01:07:11,490
I'm afraid that if you don't get
medical attention, you could die.
987
01:07:11,573 --> 01:07:15,077
I can't have my family knowing I was here.
Don't call the cops, please.
988
01:07:15,160 --> 01:07:18,038
Please, please, just let me go.
989
01:07:18,121 --> 01:07:21,667
I swear to God I'll never suck cock again.
990
01:07:22,292 --> 01:07:25,462
You'd rather die
than have your family know you're gay?
991
01:07:26,046 --> 01:07:28,549
I'm not fucking gay!
992
01:07:36,932 --> 01:07:38,851
I'm not...
993
01:07:41,520 --> 01:07:42,521
gay.
994
01:07:49,361 --> 01:07:50,529
Got him.
995
01:07:54,324 --> 01:07:57,995
Oh, my God.
You fucking murdered him again!
996
01:07:58,078 --> 01:08:01,123
-Hey. It's my body.
-He wasn't dead!
997
01:08:02,708 --> 01:08:04,042
He's dead now.
998
01:08:08,338 --> 01:08:11,550
You know, I'm a little upset, guys.
999
01:08:12,134 --> 01:08:13,760
Seeing you try to help him.
1000
01:08:15,345 --> 01:08:16,721
Thought we had a deal.
1001
01:08:17,305 --> 01:08:18,599
Put him down.
1002
01:08:24,604 --> 01:08:26,148
What are you gonna do about it?
1003
01:08:26,732 --> 01:08:27,941
Gary!
1004
01:08:33,029 --> 01:08:34,573
Gary! Gary!
1005
01:08:35,490 --> 01:08:38,743
I told you not to make me angry, narc!
1006
01:08:41,580 --> 01:08:42,915
Get off of him!
1007
01:08:49,505 --> 01:08:52,633
I can't wait to fuck the death into you.
1008
01:08:54,510 --> 01:08:57,845
That's so gross.
1009
01:09:21,370 --> 01:09:23,121
That was so hot.
1010
01:09:25,207 --> 01:09:26,041
Yeah.
1011
01:09:29,002 --> 01:09:30,002
I know.
1012
01:09:37,261 --> 01:09:39,220
Where did you get a scooter from?
1013
01:09:40,346 --> 01:09:41,598
It's my sons'.
1014
01:09:47,604 --> 01:09:51,191
I know you said never
to save your life again, but...
1015
01:09:53,569 --> 01:09:55,112
I'll allow it this once.
1016
01:10:00,242 --> 01:10:02,452
Remember when we only had one body
to worry about?
1017
01:10:03,996 --> 01:10:07,082
Get in. I know a place.
1018
01:10:07,165 --> 01:10:08,458
Now you tell me.
1019
01:10:32,566 --> 01:10:34,568
Ever think about
where you wanna be buried?
1020
01:10:37,279 --> 01:10:40,157
Sorry. That's so fucked up to ask.
1021
01:10:42,034 --> 01:10:44,494
They're probably just gonna give me
some kind of religious burial,
1022
01:10:44,578 --> 01:10:45,913
no matter what I want.
1023
01:10:46,955 --> 01:10:48,290
So who cares?
1024
01:10:53,253 --> 01:10:54,296
I care.
1025
01:11:00,302 --> 01:11:03,347
I don't know. Just Nicole Kidman me
in a lake with my dog.
1026
01:11:06,517 --> 01:11:07,809
That's a good choice.
1027
01:11:10,437 --> 01:11:11,438
Oscar-worthy.
1028
01:12:03,073 --> 01:12:05,200
-Sandy?
-Oh, hi.
1029
01:12:05,826 --> 01:12:07,578
-Hi.
-Hi.
1030
01:12:07,661 --> 01:12:09,997
Oh, my. Have you been gardening?
1031
01:12:14,501 --> 01:12:18,255
-A little bit.
-Good for you!
1032
01:12:20,048 --> 01:12:22,968
Look at me,
just making myself right at home.
1033
01:12:23,594 --> 01:12:27,014
Listen, about last night...
1034
01:12:29,224 --> 01:12:30,684
I'm so embarrassed.
1035
01:12:31,351 --> 01:12:33,061
I don't remember a thing.
1036
01:12:33,770 --> 01:12:35,105
You don't?
1037
01:12:36,607 --> 01:12:39,985
Oh, Sandy, you did seem...
1038
01:12:40,944 --> 01:12:42,905
very inebriated.
1039
01:12:43,572 --> 01:12:44,573
Oh, Gary.
1040
01:12:44,656 --> 01:12:45,866
It was right as we--
1041
01:12:45,949 --> 01:12:48,702
I was about to watch Sex and the City 2,
1042
01:12:48,785 --> 01:12:50,996
and something about...
1043
01:12:52,247 --> 01:12:54,750
-Cynthia...
-Nixon.
1044
01:12:54,833 --> 01:12:57,753
Nixon really set you off.
1045
01:12:58,795 --> 01:13:00,756
She really does bother me.
1046
01:13:00,839 --> 01:13:04,259
-But not as much as Charlotte.
-Exactly.
1047
01:13:04,927 --> 01:13:06,720
You were threatening self-harm,
1048
01:13:06,803 --> 01:13:09,014
and then you locked yourself in the closet
1049
01:13:09,097 --> 01:13:12,100
before we-- I could help you.
1050
01:13:13,560 --> 01:13:14,937
Well, I'll tell you one thing,
1051
01:13:15,020 --> 01:13:18,023
not the first time
I've woken up in a closet.
1052
01:13:18,106 --> 01:13:21,693
My husband, God rest his soul,
1053
01:13:21,777 --> 01:13:25,864
he practically had to tie me to the bed
to keep me from jumping off the balcony
1054
01:13:25,948 --> 01:13:29,159
in the middle of Beaches,
that Bette Midler trauma.
1055
01:13:29,243 --> 01:13:30,869
I'm sure that's terrible.
1056
01:13:42,714 --> 01:13:44,967
I'm so lonely.
1057
01:13:47,928 --> 01:13:50,430
Aren't you lonely too, Gary?
1058
01:13:52,224 --> 01:13:53,058
Yeah.
1059
01:13:59,731 --> 01:14:02,943
Well, I better be getting along.
1060
01:14:03,735 --> 01:14:06,196
Gotta hit the road.
1061
01:14:08,156 --> 01:14:09,283
Stat.
1062
01:14:10,742 --> 01:14:12,035
Okay.
1063
01:14:19,501 --> 01:14:23,672
You're a good man, Gary.
1064
01:14:28,343 --> 01:14:30,512
I don't care what anyone else says.
1065
01:14:32,973 --> 01:14:33,807
Okay.
1066
01:14:36,185 --> 01:14:38,395
-Okay, bye. Bye. Bye.
-Bye. Bye.
1067
01:14:38,478 --> 01:14:40,439
-Bye! Bye-bye!
-Bye.
1068
01:14:40,522 --> 01:14:41,815
Bye-bye!
1069
01:14:47,362 --> 01:14:49,281
Oh, my God. Gary, you nailed that.
1070
01:14:50,199 --> 01:14:51,867
-Did I?
-Yes, bitch.
1071
01:14:51,950 --> 01:14:55,704
The Sex and the City 2 of it all?
You have really come into your own.
1072
01:14:55,787 --> 01:14:57,080
Am I officially gay now?
1073
01:14:57,164 --> 01:15:00,042
Being gay was inside of you all along,
Scarecrow.
1074
01:15:00,125 --> 01:15:03,629
This is where I make a joke about all
the other gay things I want inside of me.
1075
01:15:03,712 --> 01:15:06,924
The student becomes the teacher. Namaste.
1076
01:15:18,435 --> 01:15:20,562
You wanna know something fucked up?
1077
01:15:22,439 --> 01:15:24,149
Ever since I was a little girl.
1078
01:15:30,405 --> 01:15:33,325
Last night might be the most alive
I've ever felt.
1079
01:15:36,411 --> 01:15:37,913
That is so fucked up.
1080
01:15:41,834 --> 01:15:43,836
I'm really glad I met you.
1081
01:15:45,838 --> 01:15:48,257
Even if multiple people are dead
because of it.
1082
01:15:50,551 --> 01:15:53,053
That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.
1083
01:15:57,850 --> 01:15:58,976
Before I forget...
1084
01:16:04,439 --> 01:16:05,941
I put it in my pants.
1085
01:16:15,450 --> 01:16:16,743
You should keep it.
1086
01:16:21,290 --> 01:16:22,958
Something to remember me by.
1087
01:16:25,335 --> 01:16:26,753
It's yours, Gary.
1088
01:16:47,691 --> 01:16:49,735
You don't have to kiss me, Cameron.
Really.
1089
01:16:49,818 --> 01:16:51,236
I'm not gonna kiss you.
1090
01:16:53,906 --> 01:16:55,532
You're gonna kiss me, Gary.
1091
01:17:52,381 --> 01:17:55,175
Are you sure that was your first time?
I just fit right in there.
1092
01:17:56,927 --> 01:17:57,928
Oh, God.
1093
01:18:03,559 --> 01:18:05,936
Gary, I really think
you should call your sons.
1094
01:18:07,980 --> 01:18:11,733
I don't love the timing of that statement.
1095
01:18:11,817 --> 01:18:14,278
Yeah. No, I get that, but...
1096
01:18:15,279 --> 01:18:16,280
you should.
1097
01:18:18,782 --> 01:18:20,450
I wouldn't know what to say.
1098
01:18:23,370 --> 01:18:24,913
After all this time.
1099
01:18:28,542 --> 01:18:29,585
You do, though.
1100
01:18:44,516 --> 01:18:47,769
-Thanks for the clothes.
-Yeah, they look better on you.
1101
01:18:52,232 --> 01:18:53,233
Gary, I just...
1102
01:18:55,027 --> 01:18:56,195
I wanna say...
1103
01:18:59,573 --> 01:19:00,657
you're hot.
1104
01:19:01,909 --> 01:19:04,745
And in case I forget to tell you later...
1105
01:19:06,079 --> 01:19:07,623
I had a really good time tonight.
1106
01:19:11,335 --> 01:19:12,377
Pretty Woman.
1107
01:19:12,961 --> 01:19:13,795
Yeah.
1108
01:19:21,887 --> 01:19:23,096
Well, if you...
1109
01:19:24,264 --> 01:19:26,767
You wanna call me or get together again...
1110
01:19:27,935 --> 01:19:28,936
Cameron.
1111
01:19:35,776 --> 01:19:36,777
Thank you.
1112
01:19:47,329 --> 01:19:48,163
Okay.
1113
01:20:33,333 --> 01:20:35,002
"Dear friends and family...
1114
01:20:36,295 --> 01:20:38,255
After recently coming out as a gay man,
1115
01:20:38,338 --> 01:20:42,718
Gary O'Connell died on Sunday, May 31st,
peacefully in his home."
1116
01:20:45,137 --> 01:20:46,597
Gary.
1117
01:20:47,181 --> 01:20:50,559
"Memorial service will be held
at Mary Magdalene Church and Cemetery,
1118
01:20:50,642 --> 01:20:51,476
June 7th.
1119
01:20:51,560 --> 01:20:55,022
Donations in his memory
may be made to the church."
1120
01:20:57,191 --> 01:20:58,609
What the fuck?
1121
01:21:11,538 --> 01:21:14,750
...wondering what if it's been me and--
1122
01:21:14,833 --> 01:21:17,085
-I don't know, I just couldn't get over--
-Bullshit.
1123
01:21:19,254 --> 01:21:20,589
Hi, Patty.
1124
01:21:21,298 --> 01:21:23,675
I got your fucking invitation,
you Hallmark hussy.
1125
01:21:23,759 --> 01:21:27,763
-That card was beautiful, tasteful--
-And Gary would have hated it.
1126
01:21:27,846 --> 01:21:29,890
-Listen, man. You got--
-No, no, no. That's okay.
1127
01:21:29,973 --> 01:21:31,725
I'm here 'cause I cared a lot about Gary.
1128
01:21:32,684 --> 01:21:33,519
A lot.
1129
01:21:34,311 --> 01:21:36,230
And I got to know the real him.
1130
01:21:36,313 --> 01:21:39,233
The him that none of you ever got to see.
1131
01:21:39,316 --> 01:21:40,609
And that Gary...
1132
01:21:42,277 --> 01:21:43,862
that Gary would have hated this.
1133
01:21:44,446 --> 01:21:45,531
And you know that.
1134
01:21:47,199 --> 01:21:48,492
Don't you, Patty?
1135
01:21:52,955 --> 01:21:55,791
-Are you finished?
-I don't know. Am I finished?
1136
01:22:00,712 --> 01:22:03,924
I know you think you had a good reason
for coming...
1137
01:22:04,842 --> 01:22:06,343
but let me tell you this.
1138
01:22:07,386 --> 01:22:08,929
We all made our choices.
1139
01:22:09,721 --> 01:22:12,516
My husband made his choice.
1140
01:22:12,599 --> 01:22:15,435
And was it the right one for him
at the time? Maybe.
1141
01:22:15,519 --> 01:22:17,855
But the truth is, if I had known,
1142
01:22:17,938 --> 01:22:20,983
maybe my choices would have
been different.
1143
01:22:21,066 --> 01:22:22,234
Because this was...
1144
01:22:22,985 --> 01:22:26,780
never about me standing in the way
of what Gary wanted.
1145
01:22:27,906 --> 01:22:29,324
This was about him.
1146
01:22:30,826 --> 01:22:33,829
And the both of us wasted
so much of our lives
1147
01:22:33,912 --> 01:22:36,707
trying to be what the other person wanted.
1148
01:22:36,790 --> 01:22:39,793
So much trying, so many years.
1149
01:22:40,502 --> 01:22:42,588
And we never did get to be who we wanted.
1150
01:22:43,255 --> 01:22:45,215
Neither one of us. Ever.
1151
01:22:45,299 --> 01:22:46,300
Until the end.
1152
01:22:47,259 --> 01:22:50,137
He wasn't sorry. He was angry.
1153
01:22:51,054 --> 01:22:53,015
And so I got angry too.
1154
01:22:53,640 --> 01:22:56,768
And we both chose to sit in that anger
for a long time.
1155
01:22:57,394 --> 01:22:58,604
Too long.
1156
01:22:58,687 --> 01:23:01,231
But then we made another choice.
1157
01:23:01,315 --> 01:23:03,609
And we had the courage
to put all that aside.
1158
01:23:03,692 --> 01:23:07,529
And that is the man
that I finally got to know.
1159
01:23:09,072 --> 01:23:10,073
So God help me,
1160
01:23:10,157 --> 01:23:13,577
don't you dare stand there
and tell me that I didn't know who he was.
1161
01:23:16,205 --> 01:23:17,206
I'm sorry.
1162
01:23:19,416 --> 01:23:20,417
Good.
1163
01:23:24,171 --> 01:23:26,089
Father, I'm so sorry about that.
1164
01:23:36,934 --> 01:23:40,312
Hey. What the hell did you think
you were doing in there?
1165
01:23:40,395 --> 01:23:42,189
Look, I'm not here to cause any trouble.
1166
01:23:42,272 --> 01:23:45,192
Well, you did call my mom
a "Hallmark hussy."
1167
01:23:45,275 --> 01:23:48,654
Yeah, words just kind of fall
out of my mouth sometimes and...
1168
01:23:48,737 --> 01:23:49,571
I don't know.
1169
01:23:49,655 --> 01:23:52,074
-Right. Understood.
-Yeah.
1170
01:23:52,658 --> 01:23:56,245
My father reached out,
and he told us that he met a guy...
1171
01:23:57,037 --> 01:24:00,457
and that that guy said that
he should call his family.
1172
01:24:00,541 --> 01:24:03,252
And I just wanted to say, because of you,
1173
01:24:03,335 --> 01:24:05,128
we got our dad back...
1174
01:24:06,255 --> 01:24:07,840
for a little while longer.
1175
01:24:07,923 --> 01:24:08,924
That's...
1176
01:24:10,133 --> 01:24:11,134
I'm glad.
1177
01:24:12,386 --> 01:24:13,679
And then this.
1178
01:24:15,889 --> 01:24:18,058
He wanted to make sure I gave it to you.
1179
01:24:21,770 --> 01:24:23,981
He said you'd know what to do with it.
1180
01:24:27,568 --> 01:24:28,652
I do.
1181
01:24:29,486 --> 01:24:30,445
Cool.
1182
01:24:48,338 --> 01:24:49,423
Could I just...?
1183
01:25:13,989 --> 01:25:16,033
Can I just get a moment with him?
1184
01:25:16,867 --> 01:25:18,410
Can you turn around, please?
1185
01:25:19,453 --> 01:25:20,287
Sorry.
1186
01:25:26,084 --> 01:25:27,085
Thank you.
1187
01:25:37,763 --> 01:25:38,764
Oh, Gary...
1188
01:25:40,682 --> 01:25:41,767
my lover...
1189
01:25:43,352 --> 01:25:44,353
my friend...
1190
01:25:46,605 --> 01:25:49,441
the day I penetrated your virgin hole...
1191
01:25:49,525 --> 01:25:50,776
Oh, my God.
1192
01:25:50,859 --> 01:25:52,444
...was the best day of my life!
1193
01:25:53,320 --> 01:25:59,284
And we may not be leaving this Earth
at the same time,
1194
01:25:59,368 --> 01:26:02,955
but at least we came together!
1195
01:26:09,711 --> 01:26:11,630
What the fuck are you doing?
1196
01:26:13,549 --> 01:26:15,050
Fuck. Fuck.
1197
01:26:21,598 --> 01:26:23,308
Let's do some gay shit, Gary.
1198
01:26:25,769 --> 01:26:29,565
Stop! Yo! Where are you going?
1199
01:26:30,649 --> 01:26:31,650
Are you--?
1200
01:27:30,751 --> 01:27:31,960
He's coming for you, Duke.
1201
01:28:10,290 --> 01:28:11,124
Fuck.
1202
01:28:15,712 --> 01:28:16,797
Fuck!
86483
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