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1
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:14,468
Pressure's all right, Gary?
It's perfect.
2
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:22,577
And the oil is not too warm?
It feels nice.
3
00:02:27,782 --> 00:02:31,719
Is there any area in particular
you want me to focus on today?
4
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:35,690
Um...
5
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,466
You could, um...
6
00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:51,438
You could go, uh...
7
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,208
Lower?
8
00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:35,750
Oh, my God.
9
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:39,319
I'm sorry, this music
is triggering me.
10
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,489
Can I change it
to something less traumatic?
11
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:45,258
Oh, um, sure.
12
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,828
Kind of feels like I was
getting you off
13
00:03:46,961 --> 00:03:48,261
at a funeral, you know?
14
00:03:52,499 --> 00:03:54,367
You have a dope house,
by the way.
15
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,369
Thank you.
It's, like, sexy.
16
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,344
Mmm...
Oh, God.
17
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:28,401
I'm so sorry. Cory, is it?
Yeah, Kory. With a K.
18
00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:31,304
Could we just keep
the distractions to a minimum?
19
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:35,375
I'm sorry. I stopped
taking my Vyvanse, and I have--
20
00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:37,745
It's okay. I'm just...
21
00:04:37,879 --> 00:04:40,248
So the music, off?
Please?
22
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:41,716
Yeah.
23
00:04:58,666 --> 00:04:59,867
I'm so, so sorry.
24
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:02,837
Is there any way
that you could not chew gum?
25
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,505
Bitch, am I not allowed
to breathe?
26
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:12,213
Gum's gone. Are we good?
Yeah. I'm sorry.
27
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:15,382
It's fine. Can I proceed?
Please. Thank you.
28
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,896
So you have, like,
a really big house.
29
00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:32,233
Who all lives here?
30
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,035
Um, just...
31
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:36,938
Just me.
32
00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:38,606
Damn!
33
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,942
No husband? No wife?
34
00:05:41,075 --> 00:05:42,109
Um...
35
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,749
Wife. I had a wife.
36
00:05:48,883 --> 00:05:50,918
Hm, word.
I used to fuck girls too,
37
00:05:51,052 --> 00:05:53,821
and then I realized
I sucked dick at eating pussy.
38
00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:57,457
She left.
She took the kids, and--
39
00:05:57,592 --> 00:05:59,527
What a bitch. Boys or girls?
40
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:01,963
Boys. Well, men now, really.
41
00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:03,363
Are they hot?
42
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:05,266
What?
Your two sons, are they hot?
43
00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:06,801
I don't know.
44
00:06:06,934 --> 00:06:08,703
Come on, Gary.
You're clearly a fairy.
45
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,504
Or at least now you are, heh.
46
00:06:10,638 --> 00:06:13,307
They're my children!
It's not perverted.
47
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:16,544
My cousins are so fucking hot.
48
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,479
I mean,
they're good-looking young men.
49
00:06:19,614 --> 00:06:21,148
Okay.
50
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,717
Jesus!
51
00:06:26,087 --> 00:06:29,991
Gary? How many guys
have you done this with?
52
00:06:31,726 --> 00:06:32,827
Um...
53
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,632
One?
One, like...
54
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:38,766
Like, you're my first.
55
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:41,369
I'm your first massage?
56
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:43,671
No. I mean, yes, but...
57
00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:46,641
You're the first guy that
I've ever been intimate with.
58
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:55,883
Gary, shut up.
It's not a big deal.
59
00:06:56,017 --> 00:06:57,785
Gary, this is
a big fucking deal.
60
00:06:57,919 --> 00:07:01,355
I need a drink. I need a drink.
Come on. Come on! Holy shit.
61
00:07:01,488 --> 00:07:03,423
Where are you going?
62
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,993
So you've never touched a dick
before? Like, even as a kid?
63
00:07:06,127 --> 00:07:07,561
Um...
64
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:08,729
No.
65
00:07:08,863 --> 00:07:10,898
Oh, my God, Gary,
that is so gay.
66
00:07:11,032 --> 00:07:13,634
I'm not supposed to drink, so--
That is the most repressed
67
00:07:13,768 --> 00:07:15,636
Catholic-ass bullshit
I've ever heard in my life.
68
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:18,172
I did jerk off once in a
steam room at our country club.
69
00:07:18,406 --> 00:07:20,608
God, not even an Equinox?
Jesus Christ, Gary.
70
00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,843
It was a long time ago.
The world's different now.
71
00:07:22,977 --> 00:07:25,445
Bitch, please. The ancient
Greeks were gay as shit.
72
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:27,515
Zeus ate dick for breakfast,
lunch, and dinner!
73
00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:28,950
That's why he was so strong.
74
00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,017
All the cum.
75
00:07:30,151 --> 00:07:32,452
What?
76
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:34,789
You're a very spirited
young man.
77
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,223
You know what is so funny?
78
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,192
People say shit like that
all the time,
79
00:07:38,426 --> 00:07:39,894
and I never know what it means.
80
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:49,469
Ahh! But this isn't about me.
This is about you.
81
00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:52,506
I wanna know, why now?
82
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,041
I can't believe
I'm telling you this.
83
00:07:54,175 --> 00:07:57,011
I got married so young,
I had kids so young
84
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:58,646
that I never gave myself
an opportunity--
85
00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:00,614
Holy shit!
I didn't even think about that.
86
00:08:00,748 --> 00:08:02,083
Your kids are so lucky.
87
00:08:02,216 --> 00:08:03,551
Why?
They have a gay dad.
88
00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:04,885
What's better than that?
89
00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:07,455
Well, I doubt they see it
that way, Kory.
90
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,023
Please, call me Cameron.
91
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,525
Kory's the work name,
it helps me get into character.
92
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:13,493
But you and I are friends now.
93
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,629
Okay.
94
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:19,567
Well, Cameron, um,
95
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:22,403
my kids don't talk to me, so...
What?
96
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:25,639
Sorry, you're telling me that
your family won't talk to you
97
00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:28,042
because you prefer
bussy over pussy?
98
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,544
What the actual fuck?
Patty had her reasons.
99
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:33,547
And I think the kids--
God! Patty? Oh, Patty!
100
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:36,650
Patty's a very,
very cunty name, Gary.
101
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,052
Cameron.
No!
102
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,621
I'm sorry, Gary,
but that is bullshit.
103
00:08:40,755 --> 00:08:42,590
Bullshit.
104
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:43,791
You were honest
with those bitches,
105
00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:44,792
and they turn
their back on you
106
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:45,926
'cause of your sexuality?
107
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:47,261
I'll talk to that bitch
for you.
108
00:08:47,495 --> 00:08:48,796
I'm a people person.
Give me your phone.
109
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:50,064
No. You don't have to--
110
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:52,066
The only thing better
than my dad being gay
111
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,468
would have been him being
like a reiki master.
112
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:57,171
I would have killed
to have a dad like you.
113
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,909
I'm dying.
114
00:09:02,043 --> 00:09:03,110
Oh, baby, I'm dying too.
115
00:09:03,244 --> 00:09:04,912
I mean, every night
I fall asleep--
116
00:09:05,046 --> 00:09:06,647
I'm actually dying.
117
00:09:08,517 --> 00:09:10,818
I have
an inoperable brain tumor.
118
00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:15,222
Oh, shit.
119
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:30,137
I'm sorry. I...
I really don't know what to say.
120
00:09:30,271 --> 00:09:32,306
Words of affirmation
is not my love language.
121
00:09:32,541 --> 00:09:33,841
It's more like...
122
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,745
Okay, no. Okay, it--
123
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,147
You don't have to worry about
not knowing how to respond.
124
00:09:40,281 --> 00:09:43,017
Nobody's reacted that well
thus far, myself included.
125
00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:45,686
Oh, Gary. Are you okay?
126
00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:48,989
I mean, I know you're not okay,
obviously. But I mean...
127
00:09:49,123 --> 00:09:50,991
It's like I just realized
128
00:09:51,125 --> 00:09:53,360
that I've been alive
for nearly half a century
129
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:56,330
and I haven't actually lived
even a second of it.
130
00:09:58,099 --> 00:10:02,103
Okay. Okay, Gary.
Gary, I'm gonna help you.
131
00:10:02,236 --> 00:10:04,772
What?
Let's find someone for you.
132
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,842
Someone you've always wanted who
will put what you want first.
133
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,978
Honestly, can't you just finish
the hand job and go?
134
00:10:11,112 --> 00:10:12,581
Oh, shut up.
135
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,550
Shut up, Gary.
We're doing this.
136
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:17,586
You are gonna do this.
137
00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:21,021
Now, have you heard of Plungr?
138
00:10:21,155 --> 00:10:23,390
No.
It's a sex app.
139
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:27,128
Why do I need a sex app?
I literally paid for you.
140
00:10:27,261 --> 00:10:30,698
Uh, because you're not gay
until you've hooked up
141
00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,199
with a complete stranger
on an app,
142
00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:34,034
who looks
nothing like their pictures.
143
00:10:34,168 --> 00:10:36,103
Okay.
Okay, so crash course.
144
00:10:36,237 --> 00:10:38,105
Basically, once you set up
your profile,
145
00:10:38,239 --> 00:10:39,807
then you put in your stats.
146
00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:40,941
That's the basics.
147
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,676
Your height, your body type,
148
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,411
your pronouns, your positions.
149
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,247
Top, bottom.
We'll figure it out later.
150
00:10:46,380 --> 00:10:48,749
Jesus.
Your relationship status,
151
00:10:48,883 --> 00:10:50,718
date last tested, et cetera.
152
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:53,053
And boom! You're getting
your hole licked,
153
00:10:53,187 --> 00:10:54,955
your salad tossed,
your carpet munched
154
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,558
by your best friends' dad
or closeted neighbor--
155
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,425
I'm sorry, this is
a lot to take in.
156
00:10:58,659 --> 00:11:00,861
It's a lot, Gary.
I wish they had a gay Duolingo.
157
00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,933
You know what?
158
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:09,904
Why don't you see for yourself?
159
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:11,238
Go on.
160
00:11:22,651 --> 00:11:26,120
Oh, my God.
There's so many hot guys.
161
00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,955
Yes, there are.
162
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,823
But if you wanna talk
to any of them,
163
00:11:29,957 --> 00:11:31,458
you're gonna need an avatar.
164
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:32,826
Profile picture, Gary.
165
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:33,928
You're gonna need
a profile picture,
166
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,196
or no one's gonna answer.
167
00:11:35,329 --> 00:11:37,164
Do you know what lighting
in your house
168
00:11:37,298 --> 00:11:38,999
makes you the most dewy?
169
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:40,768
Can we just use
a picture of you?
170
00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,269
Seriously?
171
00:11:42,403 --> 00:11:45,039
Look at you. I'm not gonna get
very many responses.
172
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,474
Uh, yeah,
not with that attitude.
173
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,243
Do you know your angles?
My angles?
174
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,811
Oh, for fuck's sake, Gary.
175
00:11:50,945 --> 00:11:53,147
Come on, I can't
just teach you everything.
176
00:11:57,251 --> 00:11:58,886
Hot?
177
00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:01,255
Mm-hm. Yeah, that's very hot.
178
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,723
I know.
179
00:12:02,856 --> 00:12:08,062
I'll just call us
"Lad and Dad."
180
00:12:09,263 --> 00:12:11,131
Okay, um...
181
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,335
Hmm.
182
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,137
How about this guy?
183
00:12:17,271 --> 00:12:19,306
Two miles away.
184
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:23,110
"Dom Top, DL, Masc4masc,
I love to suck."
185
00:12:23,244 --> 00:12:25,513
What's DL?
That's down-low, just like you.
186
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,782
Well, I like his hat.
187
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:32,253
Okay.
188
00:12:32,386 --> 00:12:35,657
"I like your hat, bro.
You're hot."
189
00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:41,128
"You too."
Wait, he already wrote back?
190
00:12:41,262 --> 00:12:45,232
Yep. "Come over and drain me."
191
00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:48,269
Okay, I'm sorry. No, Cameron,
I think this might be too much.
192
00:12:48,402 --> 00:12:50,871
Oh, too late. He's on his way.
Wait. What?
193
00:12:51,005 --> 00:12:52,674
I dropped a pin.
You gave him my address?
194
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:55,109
Yeah.
I might not be ready for this.
195
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,679
It took me a week to work up
the courage to call you.
196
00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:01,516
And now you've invited some
complete stranger to my home.
197
00:13:01,750 --> 00:13:03,784
Gary, Gary--
I don't even know this person.
198
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,754
How am I supposed to react?
Loosen up.
199
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,121
How?
Because you're with me.
200
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,323
I'm like human poppers.
I open anyone up.
201
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,826
All you have to do
is sit back and relax.
202
00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,261
Relax.
203
00:13:14,395 --> 00:13:16,430
You're gonna be okay, I prom.
204
00:13:17,498 --> 00:13:18,866
Prom?
205
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:20,134
Half a promise.
206
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:21,869
Did you just make that up?
Oh, my God.
207
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,337
It's New York, Gary.
208
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:26,775
The reality star.
Oh, you have so much to learn.
209
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,375
I'm going to your kitchen.
210
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:42,956
Gary, it's so harsh in here.
You need to liven it up.
211
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:48,730
Spoon, spoon, spoon...
212
00:13:48,862 --> 00:13:52,366
Shit. You really are dying,
aren't you?
213
00:14:04,378 --> 00:14:06,313
"Gary and Patricia had
a beautiful marriage,
214
00:14:06,447 --> 00:14:08,015
filled with blessing and love.
215
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,217
The life they shared
was harmonious and fulfilling,
216
00:14:10,351 --> 00:14:11,885
raising the boys.
217
00:14:12,019 --> 00:14:13,788
However,
Gary has now left the marriage
218
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:17,157
to finally pursue his life
as a gay man.
219
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:20,127
There are no words to describe
the shock and heartache
220
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,463
Patricia feels
regarding Gary's new path."
221
00:14:23,598 --> 00:14:25,065
Yikademente.
222
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:28,969
Gary! Oh, my God.
223
00:14:29,103 --> 00:14:31,071
Okay, can we please
talk about this?
224
00:14:31,205 --> 00:14:32,973
Because what the actual fuck?
225
00:14:33,107 --> 00:14:35,142
Where did you get that?
I went through your shit.
226
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:36,578
Oh, of course.
227
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:42,049
After the split,
Patty lashed out
228
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,485
in interesting
and craft-based ways.
229
00:14:44,619 --> 00:14:46,987
It's on, like, weighted paper.
230
00:14:47,121 --> 00:14:48,790
You're telling me
she went to Kinko's
231
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,658
and printed how many copies?
She sent them
232
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:53,193
to quite a number of people
in our lives.
233
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:57,464
Gary, it's like a eulogy
for straight you. Rest in peace.
234
00:14:57,599 --> 00:14:59,133
Well...
235
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:00,968
At least
you got to keep the house.
236
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,404
When I came out of the closet,
I lost the closet
237
00:15:03,538 --> 00:15:05,038
and the room the closet was in.
238
00:15:05,172 --> 00:15:06,974
Is that why
you ended up doing this?
239
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,009
The fuck do you mean by that?
240
00:15:09,143 --> 00:15:12,980
Your line of work is not exactly
many people's first choice.
241
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:15,015
A little fucking judgmental,
don't you think?
242
00:15:15,149 --> 00:15:19,420
I'm just saying, kids wanna
be astronauts, firemen.
243
00:15:19,554 --> 00:15:22,389
They don't pick sex worker
at the job fair.
244
00:15:22,524 --> 00:15:24,191
Right. Well, they would
245
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:26,628
if they were tossed around
as an 8-year-old, like I was.
246
00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:31,331
I'm fucking joking.
247
00:15:31,465 --> 00:15:33,367
Are you serious?
That's what you actually think?
248
00:15:33,501 --> 00:15:35,436
That something terrible
must have happened to me
249
00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:37,938
to lead me to this?
God forbid I found something
250
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,473
that I'm good at,
and I monetized it.
251
00:15:39,607 --> 00:15:41,041
But you can't do this forever.
252
00:15:41,175 --> 00:15:42,510
When you're my age,
what will you do?
253
00:15:42,644 --> 00:15:44,211
I don't know, Gary.
254
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,014
I guess I'll repress every
desire that comes naturally,
255
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,517
marry an unsuspecting woman,
have two sons,
256
00:15:49,651 --> 00:15:51,853
live a lie until I find out
I'm dying of cancer.
257
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:53,320
Hey, whoa.
No!
258
00:15:53,454 --> 00:15:55,422
No, you are on thin ice,
sweetie.
259
00:15:55,557 --> 00:15:58,091
I'm sorry. I...
You're right.
260
00:15:58,225 --> 00:16:01,563
I guess that
that was my poor attempt
261
00:16:01,696 --> 00:16:03,698
at helping you.
262
00:16:03,932 --> 00:16:08,135
Aw. Well, write this down
and remember it fondly:
263
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,370
I don't need your fucking help.
264
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,876
God!
265
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:28,489
My God, if that was my best stab
at fatherly advice,
266
00:16:28,623 --> 00:16:31,158
it's no wonder my own kids
don't wanna speak to me.
267
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,561
Okay, enough
of this whole pity party.
268
00:16:34,629 --> 00:16:36,163
What is that?
269
00:16:37,231 --> 00:16:38,499
It's called pre-workout.
270
00:16:38,633 --> 00:16:40,367
Like meth for people with goals.
271
00:16:40,502 --> 00:16:43,036
Why are you taking it now?
You didn't have Red Bull.
272
00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:44,739
Which, by the way, big mistake.
273
00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:47,107
Big. Huge.
Pretty Woman.
274
00:16:47,241 --> 00:16:49,476
Finally, a fucking reference
you know.
275
00:16:49,611 --> 00:16:51,746
Pretty Woman is
one of my favorite films.
276
00:16:51,980 --> 00:16:54,181
That would explain
your attitude towards sex work.
277
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,551
Well, you're the one
who just quoted it.
278
00:16:56,684 --> 00:16:58,753
Touché, bitch.
Yeah.
279
00:16:58,987 --> 00:17:01,623
Oh, fuck. He's here. He's here!
280
00:17:01,756 --> 00:17:03,090
Oh, my God, what do I do?
281
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,626
Hey. You go upstairs,
282
00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:06,594
wear something sexy,
I got this covered.
283
00:17:06,728 --> 00:17:08,696
Go! Go!
Okay.
284
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,168
Sexy.
285
00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:21,174
Hello.
'Sup, bro?
286
00:17:21,308 --> 00:17:23,277
Ooh! Fist me already!
287
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:24,979
I'm Sammy.
288
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:27,515
I'm Kory, with a K.
The lost Kardashian.
289
00:17:27,649 --> 00:17:29,049
Mm, nice truck.
290
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:31,586
You parked so far.
291
00:17:31,719 --> 00:17:33,021
Just wanna get in and get out.
292
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,055
Oh. You can get in, all right.
293
00:17:36,758 --> 00:17:39,126
Mm, mm, mm!
294
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:40,327
Come on.
295
00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:46,366
This place is dope, man.
Do you live here alone?
296
00:17:46,501 --> 00:17:51,539
Um, well, if you noticed
on Plungr, I am Lad...
297
00:17:53,407 --> 00:17:56,511
and this is Dad.
298
00:17:58,478 --> 00:17:59,514
Hi.
299
00:17:59,647 --> 00:18:01,015
Who the fuck is this
300
00:18:01,148 --> 00:18:03,083
Mister Rogers-looking-ass dude?
301
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,653
I thought I told you
to wear something sexy.
302
00:18:05,787 --> 00:18:07,387
I feel very sexy in this.
303
00:18:07,522 --> 00:18:10,525
The profile said "Lad and Dad."
304
00:18:10,658 --> 00:18:13,293
You didn't say
nothing about a threesome, so...
305
00:18:13,427 --> 00:18:15,697
And you didn't say anything
about being a whiny bottom.
306
00:18:15,830 --> 00:18:18,298
But here we are.
I'm no bottom! I'm all top.
307
00:18:18,432 --> 00:18:20,668
Yeah, I'm sure you are,
you self-hating little bitch.
308
00:18:20,802 --> 00:18:23,037
Cameron.
Shut the fuck up, please.
309
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:25,238
We both know
you're just a gaping hole,
310
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:28,208
so pipe the fuck down
and service this cock!
311
00:18:28,342 --> 00:18:30,110
Uh...
312
00:18:32,614 --> 00:18:34,247
Fuck, you're sexy.
313
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:36,684
You know you don't deserve to
suck this cock, though, right?
314
00:18:36,818 --> 00:18:38,318
I know.
315
00:18:39,687 --> 00:18:41,221
I'm sorry, sir.
316
00:18:41,355 --> 00:18:43,591
I'll suck it so good, though.
317
00:18:43,725 --> 00:18:44,759
Do it.
318
00:18:47,862 --> 00:18:50,031
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
319
00:18:57,772 --> 00:18:59,507
Oh, yeah. Fuck, yeah.
320
00:18:59,641 --> 00:19:02,677
Mm... Mmm...
321
00:19:02,810 --> 00:19:05,913
Hey, you shut your fucking mouth
when you're sucking this dick.
322
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:09,182
Please, sir, I want some more.
Yeah, you do.
323
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:13,286
Yeah, you like that dick, you
little Oliver Twist-ass bitch?
324
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:17,925
Oh, God.
It's like a juicy bratwurst.
325
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,393
You make me...
326
00:19:19,527 --> 00:19:22,329
You make me sick,
you little orphan boy.
327
00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:25,165
Mmm... I'm an orphan.
328
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:27,602
Fucking deeper, bitch.
329
00:19:27,735 --> 00:19:29,771
You little street urchin.
330
00:19:29,904 --> 00:19:33,340
You little begging bitch with
your little purple-ass shorts.
331
00:19:33,473 --> 00:19:36,844
I'm your fucking street urchin,
motherfucker.
332
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:40,447
Come on, Dad.
333
00:19:41,582 --> 00:19:43,350
Come on.
334
00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,218
- Fuck me.
- It's okay.
335
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:50,758
Oh, yes. You gotta
put it fucking deep in there.
336
00:19:55,730 --> 00:19:57,431
Wait. Why are you stopping?
337
00:19:57,565 --> 00:19:59,466
I can't do this.
Can't do what?
338
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,502
Suck a dick when
your username's Looking2Succ?
339
00:20:01,636 --> 00:20:03,671
Not with this
accountant-looking motherfucker.
340
00:20:03,805 --> 00:20:06,306
I'm sorry.
Gary is a beautiful man
341
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,943
who deserves anonymous blowjobs,
just like the rest of us.
342
00:20:09,177 --> 00:20:11,546
He looks like shit.
You look like shit,
343
00:20:11,679 --> 00:20:13,380
you little pencil dick!
What?
344
00:20:13,514 --> 00:20:15,348
I'm not even fully hard, bro.
345
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:16,951
Oh, really?
346
00:20:17,185 --> 00:20:19,520
Plus, I didn't get
to showcase my personality.
347
00:20:19,654 --> 00:20:20,688
Oh, my God!
348
00:20:20,822 --> 00:20:22,123
Looking2Succ,
349
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:23,591
I've given you plenty of time
350
00:20:23,725 --> 00:20:25,693
to showcase your personality.
Fuck you.
351
00:20:25,827 --> 00:20:28,996
I'm better one-on-one. And it
was just you in the picture.
352
00:20:29,229 --> 00:20:32,667
Not your Flowers in the Attic
fucking sidepiece daddy.
353
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,468
I'm not even gay, anyway.
354
00:20:34,602 --> 00:20:37,404
You just casually referenced
Flowers in the Attic.
355
00:20:37,538 --> 00:20:40,508
You are an absolute faggot!
I got a wife.
356
00:20:40,641 --> 00:20:42,242
So does he!
Ex-wife.
357
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,978
And you'll be adding ex
to the title
358
00:20:44,212 --> 00:20:46,379
when she finds out
you're a bottom!
359
00:20:46,514 --> 00:20:48,549
Watch your fucking mouth, bro!
Oh?
360
00:20:48,683 --> 00:20:51,018
I'm warning you,
I will knock you out.
361
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,888
Oh, no.
He's gonna knock me out, Gary,
362
00:20:54,021 --> 00:20:56,557
he's gonna hit me
with his Flowers in the Attic.
363
00:20:56,691 --> 00:20:57,558
Okay. Boys. Boys.
364
00:20:57,692 --> 00:21:01,796
You are a F-A-double G-O-T,
365
00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:04,397
faggot!
This is your last warning, bro!
366
00:21:04,532 --> 00:21:06,433
You're a faggot!
Fuck you!
367
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,216
It was a gorgeous landing.
368
00:22:02,355 --> 00:22:05,726
Why would you do that?
Do what?
369
00:22:05,860 --> 00:22:08,328
You instigated him.
You riled him up.
370
00:22:08,461 --> 00:22:09,697
Hey, hold on, hold on.
371
00:22:09,831 --> 00:22:11,299
He literally charged at me
372
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:12,499
and you pushed me
out of the way.
373
00:22:12,633 --> 00:22:14,602
How is this my fault?
374
00:22:14,735 --> 00:22:16,369
If you had only shut up,
375
00:22:16,504 --> 00:22:17,772
he wouldn't have
done the charging.
376
00:22:17,905 --> 00:22:20,775
Oh, of course,
you're gonna take his side.
377
00:22:20,908 --> 00:22:23,711
Two repressed queers blaming
their shame and misery on me,
378
00:22:23,845 --> 00:22:26,280
a secure, stable homosexual.
Stable?
379
00:22:26,413 --> 00:22:28,583
Yeah.
How did I let this happen?
380
00:22:28,716 --> 00:22:29,851
My God!
381
00:22:29,984 --> 00:22:31,586
Wait, this whole thing
was your idea.
382
00:22:31,719 --> 00:22:33,521
The whole thing.
Hey! No, no, no!
383
00:22:33,654 --> 00:22:35,823
You wanted him to come here.
You practically
384
00:22:35,957 --> 00:22:37,490
forced me into this.
385
00:22:37,625 --> 00:22:39,961
Oh, I forced you
to hook up with two hot dudes.
386
00:22:40,094 --> 00:22:42,864
I'm so evil, Gary.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
387
00:22:49,436 --> 00:22:50,705
What are you doing?
388
00:22:50,838 --> 00:22:53,341
I'm calling 911.
For what? He's dead!
389
00:22:53,473 --> 00:22:55,576
Exactly. We have to explain
what happened.
390
00:22:55,710 --> 00:22:58,646
You may be okay going to jail
'cause you're dying,
391
00:22:58,779 --> 00:23:00,314
but I'm freshly made.
392
00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:02,884
I don't care. I'm calling.
Gary, no. Accidents happen!
393
00:23:03,017 --> 00:23:04,518
It was your first time
being gay.
394
00:23:04,652 --> 00:23:05,753
You were gonna make mistakes.
395
00:23:05,887 --> 00:23:08,356
This is more than a mistake!
You're right.
396
00:23:08,488 --> 00:23:10,490
I'm so glad
you're man enough to admit that.
397
00:23:10,625 --> 00:23:12,560
Admit what?
You assaulted me.
398
00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:16,764
Are you fucking kidding me?
You pushed me, babe.
399
00:23:16,898 --> 00:23:19,399
You pushed me
and my lover is dead!
400
00:23:19,533 --> 00:23:23,137
That's what
I'm gonna tell the cops. Ow! Ow.
401
00:23:23,371 --> 00:23:25,405
I can't believe
that you would pin this on me
402
00:23:25,539 --> 00:23:27,008
when all I did was protect you.
403
00:23:27,141 --> 00:23:28,676
Protect me, really?
404
00:23:28,809 --> 00:23:30,144
He was gonna beat you up.
405
00:23:30,378 --> 00:23:32,313
I saved your life.
Don't be so dramatic, Gary.
406
00:23:32,445 --> 00:23:34,515
You both would have flown out
of that window,
407
00:23:34,649 --> 00:23:36,449
which now seems like
a missed opportunity!
408
00:23:36,584 --> 00:23:39,320
Okay, so don't ever try
and save my life again, then!
409
00:23:39,452 --> 00:23:41,155
I pray
that I don't have the chance!
410
00:23:42,790 --> 00:23:45,326
No, Cameron,
you can't walk away from this.
411
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:47,395
It's your fault!
412
00:23:47,528 --> 00:23:52,199
You know what? You say that
one more time, I swear to God!
413
00:23:52,432 --> 00:23:54,368
When you first told me
about your family,
414
00:23:54,502 --> 00:23:56,203
I felt bad for you.
I really did.
415
00:23:56,436 --> 00:23:57,939
But you know what?
I feel bad for them,
416
00:23:58,072 --> 00:24:00,608
'cause you're
that classic closet case
417
00:24:00,741 --> 00:24:03,044
that loves to look like the hero
while playing the victim.
418
00:24:03,177 --> 00:24:04,912
Maybe try and accept the fact
419
00:24:05,046 --> 00:24:06,948
that you ruined more lives
than you saved.
420
00:24:07,081 --> 00:24:09,984
You don't know a fucking thing
about me and my family.
421
00:24:10,117 --> 00:24:11,953
Oh, thank God for that.
422
00:24:12,086 --> 00:24:15,890
It's your house, Gary.
Your window.
423
00:24:16,023 --> 00:24:19,593
Every man for himself.
I'm fucking out of here.
424
00:24:19,727 --> 00:24:22,495
You are a pest!
You are a menace!
425
00:24:22,630 --> 00:24:24,932
You are a selfish, spoiled boy,
and I have no use for you!
426
00:24:25,066 --> 00:24:26,834
I don't wanna see you
or know you!
427
00:24:26,968 --> 00:24:28,602
Get out of my house!
428
00:24:28,736 --> 00:24:31,038
Is that from Dennis the Menace?
Go!
429
00:24:32,773 --> 00:24:34,775
Fuck you, Gary!
430
00:25:32,233 --> 00:25:33,734
Oh, my God.
431
00:25:40,708 --> 00:25:41,776
Oh, God.
432
00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:44,111
Okay.
433
00:25:44,245 --> 00:25:45,279
Okay.
434
00:26:09,804 --> 00:26:11,038
Fuck.
435
00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:20,815
So where are we taking him?
436
00:26:22,016 --> 00:26:23,552
Why?
Don't look at me like that.
437
00:26:23,684 --> 00:26:25,186
You're weak,
I feel sorry for you,
438
00:26:25,319 --> 00:26:28,523
and thank you for saving
my life, blah, blah, blah.
439
00:26:28,656 --> 00:26:32,626
I think he shit himself.
Just grab his hands, come on.
440
00:26:34,563 --> 00:26:36,630
Fuck!
441
00:26:36,764 --> 00:26:40,134
Okay. So should we drag him
to the shore,
442
00:26:40,267 --> 00:26:42,803
fill his pockets with rocks,
and then throw him in the lake?
443
00:26:42,937 --> 00:26:46,006
What?
Did you just come up with that?
444
00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:47,875
Yeah. Why?
445
00:26:48,008 --> 00:26:49,710
That's almost exactly
what we did with Duke.
446
00:26:49,844 --> 00:26:52,680
Who the fuck is Duke?
My only real friend.
447
00:26:52,813 --> 00:26:55,049
Who the fuck are you,
Robert Durst?
448
00:26:55,182 --> 00:26:56,750
Jesus Christ, Cameron!
449
00:26:56,884 --> 00:26:59,720
Duke was a Weimaraner,
who I loved very, very much.
450
00:26:59,854 --> 00:27:02,656
A who?
A dog. Duke was a dog.
451
00:27:02,790 --> 00:27:05,159
He loved the water.
It was a fitting send-off.
452
00:27:05,292 --> 00:27:07,761
But dogs don't wear pants.
453
00:27:07,895 --> 00:27:10,064
Oh, God. Cameron, pick him up.
454
00:27:11,665 --> 00:27:13,701
We're dealing with a human body,
455
00:27:13,834 --> 00:27:15,570
a human dead body.
456
00:27:15,703 --> 00:27:18,906
And he's gonna smell.
He's gonna rot.
457
00:27:19,039 --> 00:27:21,876
He's got a family, a wife
who probably hates him
458
00:27:22,009 --> 00:27:23,410
but doesn't want him dead.
459
00:27:23,644 --> 00:27:26,213
Are we talking about the body
or you?
460
00:27:42,930 --> 00:27:44,999
I should just take the fall.
461
00:27:45,132 --> 00:27:49,103
No. I don't want Patty to have
to make another calling card.
462
00:27:49,236 --> 00:27:51,606
"After a few months
as a homosexual man,
463
00:27:51,739 --> 00:27:54,141
Gary decided
to lead a life of crime."
464
00:27:54,275 --> 00:27:56,944
With a wilted rose
as the background this time?
465
00:27:57,077 --> 00:27:58,179
Ooh, stunning.
466
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,295
I'm really glad you came back.
467
00:28:16,697 --> 00:28:17,998
Me too.
468
00:28:23,672 --> 00:28:26,207
Oh, fuck!
He bled through the tarp!
469
00:28:26,340 --> 00:28:28,709
That's mountain ash wood,
it's really porous.
470
00:28:28,842 --> 00:28:31,613
Oh, my God, you're so gay.
471
00:28:31,745 --> 00:28:33,447
How did nobody know?
472
00:28:33,682 --> 00:28:35,849
Shut up
and help me move this thing.
473
00:29:09,149 --> 00:29:11,952
Oh, my God. Did you invite
somebody else over?
474
00:29:12,086 --> 00:29:14,255
You think I double-booked you?
Well, did you?
475
00:29:14,388 --> 00:29:15,889
Of course I didn't.
Answer it.
476
00:29:16,023 --> 00:29:17,258
I don't wanna answer it.
477
00:29:17,391 --> 00:29:18,759
We can't answer the door.
478
00:29:18,892 --> 00:29:20,995
I have no idea who it is.
Yoo-hoo!
479
00:29:21,128 --> 00:29:22,229
Oh, fuck.
480
00:29:22,363 --> 00:29:25,232
Avon lady calling!
481
00:29:25,366 --> 00:29:26,333
It's Sandy.
482
00:29:26,467 --> 00:29:28,536
Who the fuck is Sandy?
My neighbor.
483
00:29:28,769 --> 00:29:30,271
Oh, shit.
484
00:29:30,404 --> 00:29:31,338
Gary!
485
00:29:31,472 --> 00:29:32,906
What am I supposed to do?
486
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,677
I'm completely covered in blood.
487
00:29:35,809 --> 00:29:37,679
I know what to do.
488
00:29:37,811 --> 00:29:39,079
Where are you going?
489
00:29:39,213 --> 00:29:42,082
Gary? Is that you?
490
00:29:42,216 --> 00:29:44,084
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
491
00:29:44,218 --> 00:29:46,887
Hello? Gary?
492
00:29:47,021 --> 00:29:49,123
That's Patty's apron.
Not anymore.
493
00:29:49,256 --> 00:29:51,191
What are you gonna do?
Answer the door.
494
00:29:51,325 --> 00:29:53,060
No, no,
you can't answer the door.
495
00:29:53,193 --> 00:29:56,463
I'm gonna answer the door.
There's a dead body--
496
00:29:58,999 --> 00:30:01,101
Oh...
Hi.
497
00:30:01,235 --> 00:30:02,771
You're not Gary.
498
00:30:02,903 --> 00:30:04,572
No. No, no, no.
499
00:30:04,805 --> 00:30:06,741
I'm cute,
and you must be pretty.
500
00:30:06,874 --> 00:30:09,343
So together that means
we're pretty cute.
501
00:30:15,416 --> 00:30:18,819
You're a hoot! I'm Sandy.
502
00:30:18,952 --> 00:30:23,558
Oh, Sandy, what brings you
over here this beautiful night?
503
00:30:23,792 --> 00:30:26,460
I should be asking you
the same question.
504
00:30:29,897 --> 00:30:32,232
That's so like Gary.
A man of few words.
505
00:30:32,366 --> 00:30:36,738
I'm his real estate agent, Kory.
Kory Haim.
506
00:30:36,870 --> 00:30:39,907
Like the actor?
No, you're thinking of Feldman.
507
00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:41,776
Yeah.
No, there was two Coreys.
508
00:30:41,909 --> 00:30:44,011
There was Corey Feldman
and Corey Haim.
509
00:30:44,144 --> 00:30:46,280
No, think there's just one.
510
00:30:46,413 --> 00:30:48,583
Thank you for coming.
Gary!
511
00:30:48,817 --> 00:30:50,785
Hey, you're--
512
00:30:50,918 --> 00:30:54,088
You're not in that gorgeous
palazzo across the way, are you?
513
00:30:54,221 --> 00:30:57,625
Where is Gary? And why
are you here so late at night?
514
00:30:57,858 --> 00:31:01,362
Oh, I'm doing an inspection.
Smog.
515
00:31:01,495 --> 00:31:03,397
You know, I-- I thought I heard
516
00:31:03,531 --> 00:31:06,233
the faint sounds
of screaming earlier,
517
00:31:06,367 --> 00:31:07,968
and I thought,
well, Gary's home,
518
00:31:08,102 --> 00:31:10,839
so naturally I thought
I would come on by
519
00:31:10,971 --> 00:31:12,774
on my way to the store.
520
00:31:12,906 --> 00:31:16,443
But I gotta hit the road
before the Ambien kicks in.
521
00:31:16,578 --> 00:31:20,782
I think it already kicked in.
Stat! Like they say on Grey's.
522
00:31:20,914 --> 00:31:24,084
Oh! Are you a McDreamy girl?
523
00:31:24,218 --> 00:31:25,854
All the way.
524
00:31:25,986 --> 00:31:27,388
I could see it in your eyes,
Sandy.
525
00:31:27,522 --> 00:31:29,591
Ooh!
526
00:31:31,024 --> 00:31:32,359
Oh!
527
00:31:32,493 --> 00:31:35,362
I just need some flour...
528
00:31:35,496 --> 00:31:38,232
to make my chocolate chip
banana bread
529
00:31:38,365 --> 00:31:40,100
for my church group
in the morning.
530
00:31:40,234 --> 00:31:43,638
Sure, yeah.
Not keto, but very Christian.
531
00:31:43,872 --> 00:31:47,474
We just pray so hard that the
carbs don't stick to our hips.
532
00:31:47,609 --> 00:31:48,576
Oh!
533
00:31:53,147 --> 00:31:56,150
You know what?
I just realized something.
534
00:31:56,283 --> 00:31:57,951
I know
where Gary keeps the flour.
535
00:31:58,085 --> 00:31:59,119
Wow.
Yeah.
536
00:31:59,253 --> 00:32:01,989
So why don't you
just wait right here?
537
00:32:02,122 --> 00:32:04,893
Right here. Sit, stay.
Right there. Sit, stay.
538
00:32:05,025 --> 00:32:06,126
Sit, stay.
539
00:32:06,260 --> 00:32:07,995
Don't move. Good girl.
Good girl.
540
00:32:08,128 --> 00:32:10,164
I'll be right back. Yeah, okay.
541
00:32:14,134 --> 00:32:16,003
He's wearing an apron.
542
00:32:18,172 --> 00:32:19,841
Oh...
543
00:32:19,973 --> 00:32:21,375
One more won't hurt.
544
00:32:26,413 --> 00:32:28,081
Shit, shit, shit.
545
00:32:28,215 --> 00:32:29,884
Oh, God.
546
00:32:30,017 --> 00:32:32,854
Where does he keep the flour?
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
547
00:32:32,986 --> 00:32:34,254
I know.
548
00:32:34,388 --> 00:32:36,256
What?
549
00:32:36,390 --> 00:32:40,160
You don't have to hide it.
I caught you red-handed.
550
00:32:40,294 --> 00:32:43,464
Okay. Look, it was
a whole mistake,
551
00:32:43,598 --> 00:32:44,933
and one thing led to another--
552
00:32:45,065 --> 00:32:48,903
The heart wants
what the heart wants.
553
00:32:49,036 --> 00:32:52,372
What?
I got Patty's card.
554
00:32:52,507 --> 00:32:54,709
The whole neighborhood did.
Oh.
555
00:32:54,943 --> 00:32:57,277
You don't have to be ashamed
of loving him.
556
00:32:57,411 --> 00:33:00,280
Gary's a wonderful man.
557
00:33:03,250 --> 00:33:04,985
I'm so close to Patty still.
558
00:33:05,118 --> 00:33:07,956
She's just sick
over the whole thing.
559
00:33:08,121 --> 00:33:10,457
She feels terribly about what
she did and how she reacted.
560
00:33:10,592 --> 00:33:13,093
But now he won't talk to her
or the boys.
561
00:33:13,227 --> 00:33:14,729
And I know he's hurt,
562
00:33:14,963 --> 00:33:16,764
but she really worries
about him,
563
00:33:16,997 --> 00:33:20,000
especially now all by himself--
I'm sorry. Patty...
564
00:33:20,133 --> 00:33:21,669
Patty wants to talk to Gary?
565
00:33:23,103 --> 00:33:26,608
Oh, more than anything.
566
00:33:26,741 --> 00:33:28,208
She's been begging him
567
00:33:28,342 --> 00:33:32,246
to at least just clear the air
before he--
568
00:33:32,379 --> 00:33:33,615
You know, just...
569
00:33:35,415 --> 00:33:38,352
Right. That's, uh...
570
00:33:38,485 --> 00:33:41,088
I didn't know that.
I did not know that.
571
00:33:41,221 --> 00:33:44,759
Oh, well, must be awkward.
572
00:33:46,326 --> 00:33:47,762
For Gary.
Yeah.
573
00:33:47,996 --> 00:33:52,332
He must not tell you things
about the ex.
574
00:33:53,601 --> 00:33:54,936
Yeah.
Yeah.
575
00:33:55,068 --> 00:33:57,471
So all that's to say,
576
00:33:57,605 --> 00:34:02,242
no more sneaking around,
Mr. Estate Agent.
577
00:34:02,376 --> 00:34:06,146
I'm a cool Christian.
I'm down with the gays.
578
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,817
I may just not bake a cake
for your wedding, ha-ha!
579
00:34:10,050 --> 00:34:12,419
Yeah, well,
you already established
580
00:34:12,554 --> 00:34:15,823
you don't have any flour.
Yeah! You got me there!
581
00:34:16,056 --> 00:34:20,093
Oh, where's Gary? I wanna
see you two sinners in action.
582
00:34:20,227 --> 00:34:21,395
Gary!
583
00:34:21,529 --> 00:34:23,798
What the fuck?
584
00:34:27,134 --> 00:34:29,369
Gary.
Sandy!
585
00:34:30,738 --> 00:34:35,475
Honey! You did not spill
all those cosmos!
586
00:34:35,610 --> 00:34:37,177
Cosmos?
587
00:34:37,311 --> 00:34:38,211
Yes!
588
00:34:38,345 --> 00:34:40,048
You got the whole pitcher
589
00:34:40,180 --> 00:34:41,616
right down the front of you.
590
00:34:41,749 --> 00:34:43,518
- Cosmos?
- Yes.
591
00:34:43,651 --> 00:34:47,254
Yes, we were having Sexand the City role-play night.
592
00:34:47,387 --> 00:34:48,590
Yes.
593
00:34:56,263 --> 00:34:59,232
Well, let's get
another pitcher going,
594
00:34:59,366 --> 00:35:05,238
because I'm Samantha,
and I love fucking.
595
00:35:08,776 --> 00:35:10,645
Yes, you do, you little scamp.
596
00:35:10,778 --> 00:35:14,147
Church girls know how to kneel.
597
00:35:15,248 --> 00:35:16,584
I'm gonna
598
00:35:16,718 --> 00:35:19,520
just make
some more cosmos, then.
599
00:35:19,654 --> 00:35:21,388
You are
such a fucking Charlotte.
600
00:35:21,522 --> 00:35:24,025
This is so exciting!
It's been ages
601
00:35:24,157 --> 00:35:26,628
since I've had
a girls' night like this.
602
00:35:26,761 --> 00:35:28,563
- Aw.
- Ooh!
603
00:35:28,696 --> 00:35:30,364
Where's the bathroom again?
604
00:35:30,497 --> 00:35:35,202
I... When I get excited,
I get a little loose down there.
605
00:35:35,335 --> 00:35:36,671
Oh, Jesus. Um...
606
00:35:36,804 --> 00:35:39,507
Okay, I'm gonna just cue up
the second movie.
607
00:35:39,641 --> 00:35:41,208
Everyone's favorite.
608
00:35:41,341 --> 00:35:42,910
Bathroom's right to the left.
609
00:35:46,614 --> 00:35:48,650
Right to the left.
610
00:35:52,787 --> 00:35:53,921
Right to the left.
611
00:35:57,424 --> 00:35:59,226
Why are we watching
Sex and the City 2?
612
00:35:59,359 --> 00:36:01,629
You are being such an Aidan.
I need you to be a Mr. Big.
613
00:36:01,763 --> 00:36:03,296
I have no idea
what that even means.
614
00:36:03,430 --> 00:36:05,900
At least I tell the truth,
you wily bitch.
615
00:36:06,134 --> 00:36:07,101
What?
Shut up!
616
00:36:07,234 --> 00:36:08,468
Right...
617
00:36:10,203 --> 00:36:12,239
to the left.
618
00:36:12,372 --> 00:36:14,174
We can dump the body
after Sex and the City,
619
00:36:14,307 --> 00:36:15,475
but right now, chill.
620
00:36:18,913 --> 00:36:22,349
Oh, my God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
621
00:36:22,482 --> 00:36:23,751
Sandy, this is not
what it looks like.
622
00:36:23,885 --> 00:36:26,386
It's not?
No, it's not.
623
00:36:26,521 --> 00:36:29,356
O-okay.
624
00:36:29,489 --> 00:36:31,793
You're right, it's not.
625
00:36:31,926 --> 00:36:34,128
Sandy...
You know what? Just...
626
00:36:34,261 --> 00:36:41,135
Um, let's just 86
the request on the flour,
627
00:36:41,268 --> 00:36:48,208
because I just remembered
that I have some in my pool.
628
00:36:50,310 --> 00:36:53,380
And I would
just like to add here,
629
00:36:53,514 --> 00:36:58,351
in no way do I believe
that you are going to hell,
630
00:36:58,485 --> 00:37:02,557
at least not just for being gay.
631
00:37:02,690 --> 00:37:06,493
So I'm just gonna find my way
to the door
632
00:37:06,627 --> 00:37:08,730
and then I'm gonna be
out of here!
633
00:37:08,863 --> 00:37:11,231
Sandy, wait!
You're gay.
634
00:37:11,364 --> 00:37:14,267
You're supposed to be nice!
Sandy, please.
635
00:37:14,401 --> 00:37:15,368
Sandy.
636
00:37:15,503 --> 00:37:16,637
You locked me in!
637
00:37:16,771 --> 00:37:18,206
No. No, no. Sandy.
638
00:37:18,338 --> 00:37:19,841
You're trying to kill me!
639
00:37:19,974 --> 00:37:21,676
We're not.
It's unlocked, actually.
640
00:37:21,809 --> 00:37:23,243
Pull, don't push, hon.
641
00:37:24,946 --> 00:37:26,814
Sandy! Sandy!
642
00:37:28,482 --> 00:37:30,450
Sandy! Sandy!
643
00:37:30,585 --> 00:37:32,352
Sandy!
Sandykins!
644
00:37:32,486 --> 00:37:34,622
Sandy?
645
00:37:34,756 --> 00:37:35,757
Sandy?
646
00:37:37,859 --> 00:37:39,994
Where the--?
We're not gonna hurt you, babe!
647
00:37:40,228 --> 00:37:42,462
Is she astral-projecting?
Where the fuck did she go?
648
00:37:48,936 --> 00:37:49,804
Sandy?
649
00:37:49,937 --> 00:37:51,271
Sandy.
650
00:37:51,404 --> 00:37:52,673
Sandy!
651
00:37:52,807 --> 00:37:55,510
Come out, babe.
Sandy!
652
00:37:55,643 --> 00:37:57,779
Hey, hey!
653
00:38:01,649 --> 00:38:02,884
Sandy!
654
00:38:06,821 --> 00:38:08,689
Gary?
655
00:38:08,823 --> 00:38:12,593
I have just taken
a fistful of drugs,
656
00:38:12,727 --> 00:38:16,463
and I will be sedated or dead
within minutes,
657
00:38:16,597 --> 00:38:21,569
feeling none of the sick,
twisted, homosexual depravity
658
00:38:21,702 --> 00:38:26,406
you subject
my Christ-like body to!
659
00:38:26,541 --> 00:38:28,308
Pills!
660
00:38:29,944 --> 00:38:31,378
Sandy!
Sandy!
661
00:38:31,512 --> 00:38:32,747
Sandy!
662
00:38:42,389 --> 00:38:43,356
Sandy?
663
00:38:44,592 --> 00:38:46,326
Sandy?
664
00:38:46,459 --> 00:38:47,929
What in the Hoarders hell?
665
00:38:48,062 --> 00:38:49,530
Welcome to my old life.
666
00:38:49,664 --> 00:38:51,098
Sandy, listen.
I'm really concerned
667
00:38:51,331 --> 00:38:53,100
about the amount of pills
you've taken.
668
00:38:53,333 --> 00:38:56,571
And if you have more, I would
absolutely buy them off of you.
669
00:38:59,607 --> 00:39:00,641
Where is she?
670
00:39:02,543 --> 00:39:04,411
She's not here.
Of course she's not here.
671
00:39:04,545 --> 00:39:06,714
Why do you even have a dog cage?
672
00:39:06,848 --> 00:39:08,316
It was Duke's.
673
00:39:08,448 --> 00:39:10,818
Right, the dog you
Nicole Kidman'd into the lake.
674
00:39:10,952 --> 00:39:12,854
Virginia Woolf'd, and yes.
675
00:39:12,987 --> 00:39:15,590
And you still keep his cage?
To remember him by!
676
00:39:15,723 --> 00:39:17,792
You need to learn to let
things go. It's not healthy.
677
00:39:17,925 --> 00:39:19,894
You're in a position
to tell me what's healthy?
678
00:39:20,027 --> 00:39:23,363
Shh! You hear that?
The closet. The closet!
679
00:39:34,775 --> 00:39:35,977
Sandy?
680
00:39:38,012 --> 00:39:40,681
It's jammed.
Move, move, move.
681
00:39:44,552 --> 00:39:46,120
All right,
it's obviously locked.
682
00:39:46,354 --> 00:39:47,788
You can't lock a closet
from the inside.
683
00:39:47,922 --> 00:39:50,124
Says the expert
on being in the closet.
684
00:39:50,358 --> 00:39:51,893
You know what, shut up.
Whoa.
685
00:39:52,026 --> 00:39:53,493
I can let go of things.
686
00:39:53,628 --> 00:39:55,162
I prefer to have
the physical evidence
687
00:39:55,395 --> 00:39:57,331
that I was actually here.
Okay, I don't really know
688
00:39:57,464 --> 00:39:58,966
if a dog crate
is the best example of that.
689
00:39:59,100 --> 00:40:01,636
Is everything a joke to you?
That wasn't a joke.
690
00:40:01,769 --> 00:40:05,306
You ever stop to consider
anybody else's feelings ever?
691
00:40:05,438 --> 00:40:07,875
You wanna talk about
other people's feelings?
692
00:40:08,009 --> 00:40:10,144
Let's talk about
how you don't have the balls
693
00:40:10,378 --> 00:40:11,946
to call your own family back.
694
00:40:13,581 --> 00:40:14,882
How do you know that?
695
00:40:16,884 --> 00:40:18,185
Yeah.
696
00:40:18,418 --> 00:40:19,754
She said Patty wants
to talk to you,
697
00:40:19,887 --> 00:40:21,822
but you just refuse.
You wouldn't understand.
698
00:40:21,956 --> 00:40:23,423
So you're gay.
699
00:40:23,557 --> 00:40:25,893
So they reacted badly.
Call them back.
700
00:40:26,027 --> 00:40:28,696
Oh, okay, let me just, um,
take some advice
701
00:40:28,829 --> 00:40:30,998
from a kid who gives
happy endings for a living.
702
00:40:31,132 --> 00:40:35,336
Oh! The operative word there
is "happy," you sad fuck.
703
00:40:35,468 --> 00:40:37,004
Oh, I'm sad?
Yeah.
704
00:40:37,138 --> 00:40:38,673
Why don't you examine
705
00:40:38,806 --> 00:40:41,676
your own uneducated existence,
you Jezebel!
706
00:40:43,911 --> 00:40:45,379
Jezebel?
707
00:40:45,513 --> 00:40:47,447
When I find out who Jezebel is,
708
00:40:47,581 --> 00:40:49,350
I assume I'm gonna be
so mad at you!
709
00:40:49,482 --> 00:40:51,786
Don't follow me!
Hey, you know what?
710
00:40:51,919 --> 00:40:53,821
Your life isn't
the only one that changed
711
00:40:53,955 --> 00:40:55,389
when you decided to come out.
712
00:40:55,556 --> 00:40:57,792
I had to be
someone I hated for them!
713
00:40:57,925 --> 00:41:01,595
And that's not their fault.
And you think I don't know that?
714
00:41:01,729 --> 00:41:04,231
Gary. Gary, where are you going?
715
00:41:05,800 --> 00:41:06,901
Fuck!
716
00:41:33,493 --> 00:41:35,963
I always did
what I was supposed to do.
717
00:41:38,165 --> 00:41:39,834
I went to church.
718
00:41:43,871 --> 00:41:45,439
I married young.
719
00:41:45,573 --> 00:41:47,775
I had kids
when I was younger than you are!
720
00:41:47,908 --> 00:41:49,477
Imagine if I had a kid
right now.
721
00:41:49,610 --> 00:41:50,511
That'd be so toxic.
722
00:41:50,644 --> 00:41:52,780
I followed all the rules!
723
00:41:54,882 --> 00:41:57,852
I didn't smoke.
I drank in moderation.
724
00:41:59,854 --> 00:42:01,789
I cut fat out of my diet
in the '90s
725
00:42:01,922 --> 00:42:05,292
and put it back in 2013
when avocados got big!
726
00:42:05,526 --> 00:42:08,095
Okay.
My whole life, I've been good!
727
00:42:09,864 --> 00:42:11,265
A good husband.
728
00:42:13,801 --> 00:42:15,636
A good father.
729
00:42:15,770 --> 00:42:18,672
Okay.
That was a little bit hard.
730
00:42:18,806 --> 00:42:20,107
A good man!
731
00:42:22,109 --> 00:42:25,112
I didn't enjoy any of it!
732
00:42:27,581 --> 00:42:29,583
Gary, seriously,
you just hit my fucking head.
733
00:42:29,717 --> 00:42:31,719
And you know what?
734
00:42:31,852 --> 00:42:33,687
There is a part of me,
735
00:42:33,821 --> 00:42:36,157
some terrible part of me,
that blames them.
736
00:42:36,290 --> 00:42:37,925
But it's my fault!
737
00:42:38,059 --> 00:42:40,728
It's all my fault!
It's my fault!
738
00:42:43,097 --> 00:42:44,498
Oh, my God.
739
00:42:44,632 --> 00:42:45,733
It's my fault.
740
00:42:45,866 --> 00:42:49,003
Gary? Gary, Gary!
741
00:42:49,136 --> 00:42:51,172
Gary. Hey, just breathe.
Come on.
742
00:42:51,305 --> 00:42:55,776
I can't breathe.
Come on. Come on.
743
00:42:55,910 --> 00:42:57,311
You're okay.
I can't breathe.
744
00:42:57,546 --> 00:42:58,913
I know.
I can't breathe.
745
00:42:59,046 --> 00:43:01,550
Breathe. Breathe.
I can't breathe.
746
00:43:01,682 --> 00:43:05,820
I can't breathe.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
747
00:43:07,556 --> 00:43:10,825
I'm sorry
for calling you Jezebel.
748
00:43:10,958 --> 00:43:13,127
I don't even know
who Jezebel is.
749
00:43:13,260 --> 00:43:17,998
But if she's anything like me,
we stan. Is she hot?
750
00:43:24,605 --> 00:43:28,175
You know, I...
I actually envy you, Gary.
751
00:43:28,309 --> 00:43:31,912
Oh, please.
No, seriously, I do.
752
00:43:32,046 --> 00:43:35,649
You spent your whole life lying
to everyone about everything,
753
00:43:35,783 --> 00:43:38,085
but you still have a lot
to show for it.
754
00:43:38,219 --> 00:43:40,054
You do.
You're having a panic attack
755
00:43:40,187 --> 00:43:42,857
on your own damn tennis court,
for fuck's sake!
756
00:43:52,066 --> 00:43:55,402
My dad didn't even acknowledge
when I told him I was gay.
757
00:43:57,972 --> 00:43:59,940
He just said,
"Not to me, you're not."
758
00:44:01,610 --> 00:44:03,777
And then he went back
to watching TV
759
00:44:03,911 --> 00:44:05,246
like it never happened.
760
00:44:08,215 --> 00:44:11,152
Next day,
I left a note on my bed,
761
00:44:11,285 --> 00:44:13,687
drove away, never to return.
762
00:44:16,323 --> 00:44:17,958
What did the note say?
763
00:44:20,661 --> 00:44:22,096
"Fuck you,
you bigoted fat fuck.
764
00:44:22,229 --> 00:44:24,665
Your son's a sissy whore faggot
who loves it in the ass."
765
00:44:24,798 --> 00:44:27,434
Or something to that effect.
766
00:44:27,668 --> 00:44:29,837
I can't really remember, but...
767
00:44:31,305 --> 00:44:33,807
He actually meant well,
I think.
768
00:44:33,941 --> 00:44:37,745
In his own weird, demented way,
he...
769
00:44:40,181 --> 00:44:43,017
He thought that if I was gay,
he had to stop loving me.
770
00:44:44,818 --> 00:44:46,220
So he chose to ignore it
771
00:44:46,353 --> 00:44:48,322
because he wanted
to keep loving his son.
772
00:44:50,324 --> 00:44:53,093
But loving someone with
conditions isn't love, it's...
773
00:44:54,962 --> 00:44:56,163
prison.
774
00:45:01,435 --> 00:45:03,204
You're a good man, Cam.
775
00:45:07,308 --> 00:45:09,777
Whoo, yeah, based on tonight,
776
00:45:09,910 --> 00:45:12,681
I don't think either one of us
is technically that good,
777
00:45:12,813 --> 00:45:14,215
but I appreciate that.
778
00:45:19,220 --> 00:45:21,722
Well, at least it's some relief
779
00:45:21,855 --> 00:45:23,290
knowing there are people
out there
780
00:45:23,424 --> 00:45:25,326
being worse than us
in the world.
781
00:45:27,161 --> 00:45:28,195
Yeah.
782
00:45:29,330 --> 00:45:30,397
Yeah.
783
00:45:32,833 --> 00:45:34,201
What did you just say?
784
00:45:36,103 --> 00:45:38,105
There are worse people
in the world?
785
00:45:40,107 --> 00:45:43,010
Gary.
Gary, you're a fucking genius.
786
00:45:43,143 --> 00:45:44,979
I am?
Yes! Yes!
787
00:45:45,112 --> 00:45:48,482
We just have
to find somebody worse than us.
788
00:45:48,717 --> 00:45:51,252
Someone that is
so insane and deranged,
789
00:45:51,385 --> 00:45:53,287
they'll get us out
of this whole mess.
790
00:45:53,420 --> 00:45:56,857
All we have to do is--
Get back on Plungr.
791
00:45:56,991 --> 00:45:59,393
The beginning and the end
of all of life's problems.
792
00:46:01,462 --> 00:46:03,964
You have got to work
on your internalized homophobia.
793
00:46:04,098 --> 00:46:05,399
It is seriously shocking.
794
00:46:07,101 --> 00:46:08,902
Let's go, Gary!
795
00:46:11,772 --> 00:46:13,107
"Let's go, Gary."
796
00:46:20,247 --> 00:46:22,916
What are you doing?
The dark web, Gary.
797
00:46:24,519 --> 00:46:26,086
On Looking2Succ's phone?
798
00:46:26,220 --> 00:46:28,122
You want it traced
back to yours?
799
00:46:28,255 --> 00:46:30,257
Hold this.
800
00:46:30,391 --> 00:46:32,694
Do the facial recognition!
Jesus Christ.
801
00:46:32,826 --> 00:46:34,295
Do it!
802
00:46:39,768 --> 00:46:41,201
What happens now?
I'm doing it, Gary.
803
00:46:41,335 --> 00:46:43,270
Doing what?
The dark web.
804
00:46:47,975 --> 00:46:49,877
Is it hard to do?
Honey!
805
00:46:50,010 --> 00:46:52,313
Why don't you make us
some coffee or something?
806
00:46:55,182 --> 00:46:57,719
Okay. "Church organist,
can play with or without pipes."
807
00:46:57,851 --> 00:47:00,755
Why would a church organist
advertise on the dark web?
808
00:47:00,888 --> 00:47:03,357
It's code.
For what? Sex stuff?
809
00:47:03,490 --> 00:47:05,326
Organ harvesting, duh.
810
00:47:06,927 --> 00:47:10,765
Mm. "Circus, Circus, Tigers,
and Bears, Oh, Die."
811
00:47:10,898 --> 00:47:12,166
I don't think I wanna know.
812
00:47:12,299 --> 00:47:14,902
They're either into bestiality
or an arms dealer.
813
00:47:15,035 --> 00:47:16,970
Those are
two very different things.
814
00:47:17,104 --> 00:47:19,106
Ah, one would think.
815
00:47:21,041 --> 00:47:23,844
Okay, this one says,
"Shit on my chest."
816
00:47:23,977 --> 00:47:28,783
Shit. Okay, so shit's brown.
Brown is also the color of dirt.
817
00:47:28,916 --> 00:47:33,621
Um, chest, like burying a chest?
Like treasure? Like pirates?
818
00:47:33,854 --> 00:47:37,024
They literally just want someone
to shit on their chest, Gary.
819
00:47:37,157 --> 00:47:38,892
Oh.
Right?
820
00:47:39,026 --> 00:47:42,329
It's like, "Go back to Plungr
where you belong, scat queen."
821
00:47:42,463 --> 00:47:45,366
Gary. Gary, this is our guy.
822
00:47:45,499 --> 00:47:48,869
"Fleshpuppet. Collecting
lifeless lamb chops for play,
823
00:47:49,002 --> 00:47:52,039
with no strings to hold me down,
or attached."
824
00:47:52,172 --> 00:47:55,209
"Fleshpuppet"?
Geppetto would never.
825
00:47:55,342 --> 00:47:57,812
"Collecting lifeless lamb chops
for play"?
826
00:47:57,945 --> 00:47:58,979
Mm-hm.
827
00:47:59,113 --> 00:48:01,215
I don't like the sound of that.
I do.
828
00:48:01,348 --> 00:48:03,984
Let him take this literal
6'2" lamb chop off our hands.
829
00:48:04,118 --> 00:48:06,220
What does he want
with dead bodies?
830
00:48:06,353 --> 00:48:08,389
Fuck them, eat them,
fuck them and eat them,
831
00:48:08,523 --> 00:48:10,057
fuck them while eating them,
832
00:48:10,190 --> 00:48:12,025
make a skin suit out of them,
sell them for parts,
833
00:48:12,159 --> 00:48:14,428
dress them up like his mom.
The list goes on and on.
834
00:48:14,562 --> 00:48:16,196
Haven't you ever seen
a movie before?
835
00:48:16,330 --> 00:48:18,098
Anyway, that's
none of our business, okay?
836
00:48:18,232 --> 00:48:19,466
We are just the supplier.
837
00:48:19,601 --> 00:48:21,969
Do not go getting
a moral compass on me again.
838
00:48:22,102 --> 00:48:24,438
We should probably clean up
before he comes over.
839
00:48:24,572 --> 00:48:26,306
Does that really matter
at this point?
840
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,342
Gary, just because you're dying
does not mean
841
00:48:28,475 --> 00:48:30,077
you shouldn't
always look your best.
842
00:48:30,210 --> 00:48:31,912
I was not talking
about my appearance.
843
00:48:32,045 --> 00:48:34,982
I was talking about the blood.
Oh, my God, Gary, you're right.
844
00:48:35,115 --> 00:48:36,950
We need to give you a makeover!
845
00:48:37,084 --> 00:48:39,086
Cameron, no.
Yes!
846
00:49:33,608 --> 00:49:36,376
Ta-da!
847
00:49:38,312 --> 00:49:40,314
Okay, um...
848
00:49:40,447 --> 00:49:42,750
I look like me, but in blue.
849
00:49:42,983 --> 00:49:44,752
Yeah.
850
00:49:44,985 --> 00:49:50,057
You are a total zaddy, Gary.
851
00:49:50,190 --> 00:49:54,161
Ooh!
Okay. I am a cool...
852
00:49:54,294 --> 00:49:57,966
hot zaddy.
853
00:49:58,098 --> 00:50:01,001
Can you please not smoke inside?
It's not smoke, it's vaping.
854
00:50:01,134 --> 00:50:02,302
Just don't do it inside.
855
00:50:02,436 --> 00:50:04,471
We just killed a man,
but I can't vape inside?
856
00:50:04,606 --> 00:50:06,139
Accidentally killed a man.
857
00:50:06,273 --> 00:50:08,610
Isn't weed supposed to be good
for you, with the cancer?
858
00:50:08,743 --> 00:50:12,346
I prefer edibles.
No, too many carbs.
859
00:50:12,479 --> 00:50:13,581
Screw it.
860
00:50:15,182 --> 00:50:17,519
How do I work it?
You just press the button.
861
00:50:17,652 --> 00:50:19,486
Hold it? Press it?
And inhale.
862
00:50:19,621 --> 00:50:21,789
And then what?
863
00:50:22,022 --> 00:50:23,257
Fleshpuppet.
864
00:50:27,762 --> 00:50:30,230
Oh, my God.
Buck.
865
00:50:31,699 --> 00:50:33,568
Um...
866
00:50:33,701 --> 00:50:35,068
I'm Gary.
867
00:50:36,136 --> 00:50:37,237
All right, Gary.
868
00:50:37,371 --> 00:50:39,507
You gonna let me in or what?
Oh, yeah.
869
00:50:41,341 --> 00:50:42,577
Cool.
870
00:50:44,411 --> 00:50:46,014
Mm-hm.
871
00:50:46,146 --> 00:50:49,283
Oh, my God.
872
00:50:51,019 --> 00:50:53,287
Who are you?
873
00:50:53,420 --> 00:50:58,191
Um, Cameron, this is Buck.
874
00:50:58,325 --> 00:50:59,493
Fleshpuppet?
875
00:51:01,596 --> 00:51:02,496
Buck.
876
00:51:02,630 --> 00:51:04,832
Um, you're not...
877
00:51:05,065 --> 00:51:08,235
You're, like, hot.
Yeah, I know. Life ain't fair.
878
00:51:08,368 --> 00:51:10,038
So where's the body?
879
00:51:10,170 --> 00:51:12,807
Uh, quick question
before we begin.
880
00:51:13,041 --> 00:51:14,274
Are you a cop?
A cop?
881
00:51:14,408 --> 00:51:17,377
Yes.
What? No! Wait, are you?
882
00:51:17,512 --> 00:51:19,013
No.
883
00:51:19,146 --> 00:51:21,049
Are you?
You kind of look like a cop.
884
00:51:21,181 --> 00:51:25,152
Oh, uh, thank you.
That's not a compliment.
885
00:51:25,285 --> 00:51:29,089
No, I'm not a cop at all.
Of course not, I'm not a cop.
886
00:51:29,222 --> 00:51:32,459
Good. 'Cause the dark web's
built on trust.
887
00:51:32,594 --> 00:51:34,161
Stitch that into a pillow.
888
00:51:36,396 --> 00:51:38,198
Where are my manners, Buck?
889
00:51:38,332 --> 00:51:41,603
Um, can I offer
you something to drink?
890
00:51:41,736 --> 00:51:43,705
Y'all got Red Bull?
Oh, my God. I wish.
891
00:51:43,838 --> 00:51:45,840
That's the one thing
I don't have.
892
00:51:46,074 --> 00:51:48,408
Fuck!
Uh, I don't know
893
00:51:48,543 --> 00:51:50,243
exactly how to get
this thing started,
894
00:51:50,377 --> 00:51:51,879
so why don't I just tell you
a little bit
895
00:51:52,112 --> 00:51:53,715
about how we got
into this pickle?
896
00:51:53,848 --> 00:51:56,851
Cameron and I invited over
this gentleman--
897
00:51:57,085 --> 00:51:58,586
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
898
00:51:58,720 --> 00:52:01,355
The body's a man?
Uh, yes.
899
00:52:01,488 --> 00:52:03,024
Is that okay?
900
00:52:03,190 --> 00:52:04,626
Mm, body's a body.
901
00:52:04,759 --> 00:52:06,894
Oh, my God. Progressive.
You're hot.
902
00:52:07,127 --> 00:52:10,464
Okay. Um, so we invited over
this lovely gentleman.
903
00:52:10,598 --> 00:52:12,033
Well, we thought he was lovely.
904
00:52:12,165 --> 00:52:13,601
It turns out
that he was really angry--
905
00:52:13,735 --> 00:52:15,870
This closeted fuck came over
and fell out the window.
906
00:52:16,104 --> 00:52:19,406
- Hmm. That sounds ambiguous.
- No, no.
907
00:52:19,540 --> 00:52:23,111
We assure you that everything
that happened was an accident.
908
00:52:23,243 --> 00:52:25,445
Where did you kill him?
Right outside.
909
00:52:25,580 --> 00:52:27,381
You moved the body?
It's in the closet.
910
00:52:27,515 --> 00:52:29,249
That makes your cleanup
much trickier.
911
00:52:29,383 --> 00:52:30,718
You guys ever seen Gone Girl?
912
00:52:30,852 --> 00:52:32,654
Just the part
with Ben Affleck's dick.
913
00:52:32,787 --> 00:52:34,689
Gary.
What? I love Ben Affleck.
914
00:52:34,822 --> 00:52:37,725
So you have never dealt with
a crime scene cleanup before.
915
00:52:37,859 --> 00:52:40,293
Um, no.
No. No.
916
00:52:40,427 --> 00:52:43,263
Well, lucky for you guys,
I come prepared.
917
00:52:43,397 --> 00:52:45,933
Ahem, all right.
A little bit about me.
918
00:52:46,166 --> 00:52:48,936
I'm a Capricorn
with Cancer rising.
919
00:52:49,169 --> 00:52:51,072
I love long-distance running,
920
00:52:51,204 --> 00:52:54,207
old science textbooks,
and fucking dead bodies.
921
00:52:54,341 --> 00:52:56,410
Oh, my God. I am such a sucker
for Capricorns, Gary.
922
00:52:56,544 --> 00:52:57,645
Because I'm a Christian,
923
00:52:57,779 --> 00:52:59,379
I'll walk you through
the deep clean,
924
00:52:59,514 --> 00:53:01,481
but you're gonna have to do
the legwork yourself.
925
00:53:01,616 --> 00:53:06,186
All I need in return is
the body, no questions asked.
926
00:53:06,319 --> 00:53:09,157
I'm sorry, um,
just the one question
927
00:53:09,289 --> 00:53:11,291
about, uh,
"fucking dead bodies"?
928
00:53:11,425 --> 00:53:12,492
No questions asked.
929
00:53:12,627 --> 00:53:14,162
Right, but just the one question
930
00:53:14,294 --> 00:53:15,563
before no questions.
No, no, no.
931
00:53:15,697 --> 00:53:17,197
That's all, that's all,
that's all.
932
00:53:17,330 --> 00:53:19,801
Thank you so much,
Mr. Fleshpuppet.
933
00:53:19,934 --> 00:53:21,669
I'm having second thoughts.
Too late.
934
00:53:21,803 --> 00:53:23,270
What do you care
what he does to the body?
935
00:53:23,403 --> 00:53:25,707
I care.
You wanna keep it?
936
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:27,542
I don't wanna keep it.
Ut-shay up-yay!
937
00:53:27,675 --> 00:53:30,511
Get me out of here! Oh!
938
00:53:33,213 --> 00:53:35,750
Sounds like you got more than
one problem on your hands, boys.
939
00:53:35,883 --> 00:53:37,451
No, just Sex and the City.
940
00:53:37,585 --> 00:53:39,587
No, that's
Real Housewives of...
941
00:53:39,721 --> 00:53:40,822
Reno.
942
00:53:40,955 --> 00:53:42,322
Marathon.
943
00:53:42,456 --> 00:53:44,959
We're Bravoheads.
944
00:53:45,193 --> 00:53:46,393
Bravo.
945
00:53:48,261 --> 00:53:50,164
All right.
Y'all got oxygen-based bleach?
946
00:53:50,297 --> 00:53:51,966
Uh...
I'll go check.
947
00:53:55,335 --> 00:53:56,771
Wow.
948
00:53:58,338 --> 00:54:00,007
Banging fucking house, Gary.
949
00:54:01,709 --> 00:54:04,311
Thank you.
Ooh, what's this?
950
00:54:05,646 --> 00:54:07,347
Oh, um...
951
00:54:07,481 --> 00:54:09,751
Put that down. Please.
952
00:54:11,485 --> 00:54:13,420
It's just very delicate.
953
00:54:21,361 --> 00:54:22,462
Thank you.
954
00:54:29,570 --> 00:54:32,372
You guys are making
very quick work of this.
955
00:54:32,507 --> 00:54:34,909
I'm impressed.
I might have to hire you guys.
956
00:54:36,744 --> 00:54:40,014
Yeah. Thank you
for all of your help.
957
00:54:40,248 --> 00:54:43,483
Yeah. Who knew crime-scene
cleaning could be so exhausting.
958
00:54:45,586 --> 00:54:47,522
You guys mind
if I take a smoke break?
959
00:54:47,655 --> 00:54:49,190
I think we should
keep working through--
960
00:54:49,322 --> 00:54:50,792
Gary.
961
00:54:50,925 --> 00:54:52,760
Fine. Patio's just--
962
00:54:52,894 --> 00:54:55,328
We already vaped inside.
Who cares if he smokes?
963
00:54:55,462 --> 00:54:57,665
Yeah, you're the guest.
964
00:55:09,710 --> 00:55:10,978
Oh, did you want some?
965
00:55:12,046 --> 00:55:14,649
I thought you would never ask.
966
00:55:14,782 --> 00:55:17,785
Oh, sorry. Gary, did you
wanna hit it first?
967
00:55:17,919 --> 00:55:21,222
Oh, yes, for the host
with the most.
968
00:55:21,354 --> 00:55:22,890
Go on.
No, I'm fine.
969
00:55:23,024 --> 00:55:24,725
Suit yourself, narc.
970
00:55:24,859 --> 00:55:27,862
Would you just excuse us
for one second, please?
971
00:55:27,995 --> 00:55:29,831
You're trying to embarrass me?
972
00:55:35,636 --> 00:55:38,606
Get in here.
Crack is where I draw the line.
973
00:55:38,739 --> 00:55:39,774
Gary--
974
00:55:39,907 --> 00:55:43,343
Oh, my God, this powder room.
Well...
975
00:55:43,476 --> 00:55:44,579
This was Patty's design.
976
00:55:44,712 --> 00:55:46,379
I would take
a more minimalist approach.
977
00:55:46,514 --> 00:55:48,348
Wow, you gave her
one room to decorate.
978
00:55:48,481 --> 00:55:49,416
You are an oppressor.
979
00:55:51,853 --> 00:55:54,454
Ah-cha-cha-cha!
980
00:55:54,589 --> 00:55:57,258
Okay, speaking of, can you
please be cool out there?
981
00:55:57,424 --> 00:55:58,860
There is nothing cool
about crack!
982
00:55:58,993 --> 00:56:01,696
Know how hard it is to get crack
offered to you guilt-free?
983
00:56:01,829 --> 00:56:03,130
"Guilt-free"?
Yeah.
984
00:56:03,363 --> 00:56:05,633
This isn't a fucking
cauliflower-crust pizza.
985
00:56:05,766 --> 00:56:08,336
It's a Class A narcotic!
Gary, do you know
986
00:56:08,468 --> 00:56:10,905
how much crack I'd be smoking
if I was dying right now?
987
00:56:11,038 --> 00:56:12,807
A lot.
Yes, that is correct. A lot.
988
00:56:12,940 --> 00:56:14,542
A lot of fucking crack!
Shh!
989
00:56:14,675 --> 00:56:16,844
How does that song go?
"Smoke crack like you're dying."
990
00:56:16,978 --> 00:56:19,412
I've never heard it, but I'm
sure that's not how it goes.
991
00:56:19,547 --> 00:56:20,548
Whatever. It's a remix.
992
00:56:20,681 --> 00:56:21,849
We are gonna go out there
993
00:56:21,983 --> 00:56:23,551
and smoke a shit-ton of crack
994
00:56:23,684 --> 00:56:25,519
with the guy who's gonna get
this dead body off our hands.
995
00:56:25,653 --> 00:56:26,587
And you'll be cool about it!
996
00:56:26,721 --> 00:56:27,922
Cameron. No!
Yes!
997
00:56:31,692 --> 00:56:35,630
Whoa. Nicely done, old boy.
998
00:56:35,763 --> 00:56:37,531
Not too much, Cam.
Get fucked.
999
00:56:37,665 --> 00:56:38,833
We just killed a man
1000
00:56:38,966 --> 00:56:40,635
and there's a sweet church lady
in the closet.
1001
00:56:40,768 --> 00:56:43,304
I knew there was a lady
upstairs. I love you guys.
1002
00:56:43,436 --> 00:56:44,939
I'm gonna smoke
as much crack as I want,
1003
00:56:45,072 --> 00:56:47,775
because it's been a lot of
firsts for me too tonight, Gary.
1004
00:56:47,909 --> 00:56:50,978
Where are you going?
1005
00:56:51,112 --> 00:56:52,780
Oh-ho-ho!
1006
00:56:57,417 --> 00:56:58,619
Holy shit.
1007
00:57:00,154 --> 00:57:01,656
Fuck! I feel...
1008
00:57:03,557 --> 00:57:04,625
I feel like...
1009
00:57:05,993 --> 00:57:07,995
I remember my first light.
1010
00:57:08,129 --> 00:57:12,800
It's like I took a flight,
a pleasure in your mind.
1011
00:57:12,934 --> 00:57:14,669
It feels just right.
1012
00:57:14,802 --> 00:57:16,837
Whoa! Did that just rhyme?
1013
00:57:18,471 --> 00:57:21,742
Did you hear that?
No, I didn't hear anything.
1014
00:57:21,876 --> 00:57:24,979
It's your subconscious, Gary.
Guilt's creeping in.
1015
00:57:25,112 --> 00:57:27,148
Just ignore it.
That's what I do.
1016
00:57:32,119 --> 00:57:33,788
Did you hear that?
1017
00:57:33,921 --> 00:57:37,391
That sound in your head,
it's like a popping sound.
1018
00:57:37,558 --> 00:57:38,458
Pop!
1019
00:57:39,527 --> 00:57:43,064
Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!
1020
00:57:43,197 --> 00:57:46,667
Totally normal. It's your mind
expanding, my friends.
1021
00:57:46,801 --> 00:57:50,004
Just ignore the demons
and focus on the feeling.
1022
00:57:51,105 --> 00:57:52,039
The feeling.
1023
00:57:53,140 --> 00:57:54,442
I feel...
1024
00:58:01,682 --> 00:58:03,117
I feel...
1025
00:58:05,519 --> 00:58:06,620
Good.
1026
00:59:40,981 --> 00:59:42,616
Is this what it's like?
1027
00:59:44,618 --> 00:59:45,886
What's like?
1028
00:59:52,259 --> 00:59:55,362
Yeah, this is what it's like.
1029
00:59:59,733 --> 01:00:01,202
Come on.
1030
01:01:35,429 --> 01:01:38,032
Crack is so bad for you.
1031
01:01:38,165 --> 01:01:40,734
Really, really bad.
1032
01:01:40,868 --> 01:01:44,305
Very, very, very bad.
1033
01:01:45,706 --> 01:01:46,840
For sure.
1034
01:01:50,277 --> 01:01:52,813
You guys doing anything
for the Rapture?
1035
01:01:54,748 --> 01:01:57,284
What?
The Rapture.
1036
01:01:57,418 --> 01:02:00,054
Doomsday. End times.
1037
01:02:01,388 --> 01:02:04,626
I just finished
building my bomb shelter.
1038
01:02:04,792 --> 01:02:07,127
I got a full kit
and everything.
1039
01:02:07,261 --> 01:02:09,096
I put all my regalia in there.
1040
01:02:10,264 --> 01:02:12,132
You guys are welcome to join me.
1041
01:02:13,267 --> 01:02:14,703
Thanks, Fleshpuppet.
1042
01:02:14,835 --> 01:02:16,837
What about you, narc?
1043
01:02:20,140 --> 01:02:23,110
I don't think I'll be seeing
the end of the world.
1044
01:02:23,244 --> 01:02:26,080
Don't be such a pessimist.
Hey.
1045
01:02:26,213 --> 01:02:27,248
He's dying.
1046
01:02:29,216 --> 01:02:32,319
That's hot.
Keep it in your pants.
1047
01:02:33,954 --> 01:02:35,990
How much longer you got?
Okay, that's so rude.
1048
01:02:36,123 --> 01:02:37,358
You don't ask people that.
1049
01:02:40,394 --> 01:02:42,229
Wait, how much longer
do you got?
1050
01:02:43,430 --> 01:02:45,866
A month.
Ooh.
1051
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:48,902
A month?
Give or take.
1052
01:02:54,475 --> 01:02:56,110
I'm gonna...
1053
01:02:56,243 --> 01:02:57,778
I'm gonna let you guys
1054
01:02:57,911 --> 01:03:00,848
Terms of Endearment it up
together for a little bit.
1055
01:03:00,981 --> 01:03:04,251
Gary, I'm gonna go jack off
in one of your many bathrooms.
1056
01:03:05,520 --> 01:03:09,290
Mm, that's okay.
I think, um...
1057
01:03:10,991 --> 01:03:13,027
we should all go inside now.
1058
01:03:29,009 --> 01:03:30,578
Gary, I had no idea.
1059
01:03:32,913 --> 01:03:34,248
I didn't tell you, so...
1060
01:03:34,381 --> 01:03:35,883
I wish you would have.
1061
01:03:38,319 --> 01:03:39,521
Cameron.
1062
01:03:44,091 --> 01:03:45,527
Where's my egg?
1063
01:03:50,030 --> 01:03:53,735
Well, gentlemen, that was, uh...
That was fun.
1064
01:03:53,867 --> 01:03:56,771
But I should
probably collect my corpse
1065
01:03:56,904 --> 01:03:59,139
and skedaddle before
the rest of the world wakes up.
1066
01:03:59,273 --> 01:04:02,777
You know, can't be seen
dragging a dead body around
1067
01:04:02,910 --> 01:04:04,211
in broad daylight, now, can we?
1068
01:04:07,348 --> 01:04:09,149
Gary. Gary!
1069
01:04:09,283 --> 01:04:10,417
Give me my egg.
1070
01:04:10,552 --> 01:04:12,386
What the fuck
are you talking about?
1071
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:15,356
Did you put it down your pants?
No, that's my dick.
1072
01:04:15,489 --> 01:04:17,759
We both saw your dick
in the lake, Buck,
1073
01:04:17,925 --> 01:04:20,294
and we can all agree it doesn't
look anything like that.
1074
01:04:20,427 --> 01:04:23,230
Whoa, whoa. Let's be a little
empathetic to shrinkage, boys.
1075
01:04:23,364 --> 01:04:24,932
That is
my great-great-grandmother's
1076
01:04:25,065 --> 01:04:27,201
fucking egg, and you better
fucking give it back.
1077
01:04:31,004 --> 01:04:32,272
Or what?
1078
01:04:35,543 --> 01:04:37,846
Boys. Boys.
1079
01:04:37,978 --> 01:04:41,448
Come on, there's a better way
we can work this out, right?
1080
01:04:41,583 --> 01:04:43,283
Right?
1081
01:04:43,417 --> 01:04:46,453
All right.
You're right. You're right.
1082
01:04:46,588 --> 01:04:49,490
You caught me.
Let's make a deal, okay?
1083
01:04:49,624 --> 01:04:52,993
I will give you your
great-grandmother's egg back...
1084
01:04:54,361 --> 01:04:56,497
if I can have your body
after you go.
1085
01:04:58,932 --> 01:05:02,035
Oh, my God. You sick fuck!
1086
01:05:02,169 --> 01:05:03,437
Okay, okay. You wanna trade?
1087
01:05:03,571 --> 01:05:05,472
Give him his egg back
and you can get your body.
1088
01:05:05,607 --> 01:05:08,409
Oh, that body's already mine.
Well, that egg is fucking mine!
1089
01:05:10,277 --> 01:05:12,379
Worms are gonna be eating
your dead gay ass in a month.
1090
01:05:12,514 --> 01:05:14,915
What does it even matter?
Jesus.
1091
01:05:19,286 --> 01:05:21,488
What does anything
fucking matter?
1092
01:05:21,623 --> 01:05:23,090
Yeah.
1093
01:05:23,223 --> 01:05:25,259
What, did I say something
insensitive? Why is he--?
1094
01:05:25,392 --> 01:05:26,861
Okay, you know what? Fuck you.
1095
01:05:26,994 --> 01:05:30,230
Oh, it's cute you care about
your friend.
1096
01:05:30,364 --> 01:05:31,965
All right, fine.
What do you want?
1097
01:05:33,300 --> 01:05:34,836
I get the dead guy's truck.
1098
01:05:34,968 --> 01:05:36,504
Why do you want a truck?
I Uber'd here.
1099
01:05:36,638 --> 01:05:38,071
I lost everything
in the divorce.
1100
01:05:38,205 --> 01:05:40,675
All right. Whatever. Sure. Deal.
1101
01:05:44,044 --> 01:05:45,212
Ah-ah!
1102
01:05:45,345 --> 01:05:47,981
My dick isn't tiny.
1103
01:05:48,115 --> 01:05:49,551
No, I need you
to verbalize it for me.
1104
01:05:49,684 --> 01:05:51,686
Tell me.
Seriously?
1105
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:53,987
Okay, your dick is not tiny.
Thank you.
1106
01:05:54,121 --> 01:05:58,058
Okay. All right. Now let's go
get you your dead body.
1107
01:05:58,192 --> 01:06:00,394
Finally. Jesus.
1108
01:06:00,528 --> 01:06:02,196
So he has a habit
of falling out,
1109
01:06:02,329 --> 01:06:03,964
so just keep that in mind.
1110
01:06:04,097 --> 01:06:07,535
This ain't my first rodeo, pal.
Hey.
1111
01:06:07,669 --> 01:06:09,236
I don't want Buck
to have the body.
1112
01:06:09,369 --> 01:06:11,038
Gary, it's practically
rush hour.
1113
01:06:11,171 --> 01:06:14,041
No, we cannot
give the body to this...
1114
01:06:14,174 --> 01:06:16,210
twisted, dark-sided psychopath.
1115
01:06:16,343 --> 01:06:18,880
Okay, I'm starting
to feel judged,
1116
01:06:19,012 --> 01:06:20,949
and I'm about to get mad.
1117
01:06:21,081 --> 01:06:23,050
No, no, don't get mad.
We're gonna give you your body.
1118
01:06:23,183 --> 01:06:25,887
He deserves a proper burial.
Jesus Christ, I'm not an animal.
1119
01:06:26,019 --> 01:06:28,322
I'm gonna bury him after
I'm done fucking him. Jesus.
1120
01:06:28,455 --> 01:06:29,990
Open the door
and give me the body.
1121
01:06:30,123 --> 01:06:32,560
Don't open the door.
Open the door. Open the door.
1122
01:06:32,694 --> 01:06:34,995
Do not open the door.
Shut up! Open the fucking door!
1123
01:06:35,128 --> 01:06:37,064
I'm opening the fucking door!
Thank you.
1124
01:06:39,968 --> 01:06:40,735
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
1125
01:06:40,969 --> 01:06:42,069
What the fuck?
1126
01:06:44,338 --> 01:06:45,272
Shit.
1127
01:06:54,448 --> 01:06:55,617
What the fuck?
1128
01:06:55,750 --> 01:06:57,484
He's still alive,
you fucking idiots.
1129
01:06:57,619 --> 01:06:58,953
Oh, my God!
1130
01:06:59,086 --> 01:07:00,522
We're in the clear!
1131
01:07:00,655 --> 01:07:02,256
I'm not gay!
Babe, what?
1132
01:07:02,389 --> 01:07:04,391
I'm not gay! I'm not gay!
1133
01:07:04,526 --> 01:07:07,629
Now, sir,
you've been seriously injured.
1134
01:07:07,762 --> 01:07:10,030
I'm afraid that if you don't
get medical attention,
1135
01:07:10,163 --> 01:07:11,431
you could die.
1136
01:07:11,566 --> 01:07:13,367
I can't have my family
knowing I was here.
1137
01:07:13,501 --> 01:07:17,972
Don't call the cops, please.
Please, please, just let me go.
1138
01:07:18,105 --> 01:07:21,475
I swear to God
I'll never suck cock again.
1139
01:07:21,609 --> 01:07:25,312
You'd rather die than have
your family know you're gay?
1140
01:07:25,445 --> 01:07:28,415
I'm not fucking gay!
1141
01:07:36,758 --> 01:07:38,793
I'm not...
1142
01:07:41,428 --> 01:07:43,363
gay.
1143
01:07:49,303 --> 01:07:50,605
Got him.
1144
01:07:54,074 --> 01:07:57,845
Oh, my God, you...
You fucking murdered him again!
1145
01:07:58,078 --> 01:08:01,081
Hey. It's my body.
He wasn't dead!
1146
01:08:02,584 --> 01:08:04,251
He's dead now.
1147
01:08:08,288 --> 01:08:11,391
You know,
I'm a little upset, guys.
1148
01:08:11,526 --> 01:08:13,761
Seeing you try to help him.
1149
01:08:15,295 --> 01:08:16,531
Thought we had a deal.
1150
01:08:16,664 --> 01:08:18,465
Put him down.
1151
01:08:24,505 --> 01:08:26,473
What are you gonna do about it?
1152
01:08:26,608 --> 01:08:28,241
Gary!
1153
01:08:32,847 --> 01:08:35,282
Gary! Gary!
1154
01:08:35,415 --> 01:08:38,620
I told you
not to make me angry, narc!
1155
01:08:41,488 --> 01:08:42,724
Get off of him!
1156
01:08:49,429 --> 01:08:52,600
I can't wait
to fuck the death into you.
1157
01:08:54,434 --> 01:08:57,672
That's so gross.
1158
01:09:21,328 --> 01:09:22,897
That was so hot.
1159
01:09:25,198 --> 01:09:26,299
Yeah.
1160
01:09:28,836 --> 01:09:29,904
I know.
1161
01:09:37,244 --> 01:09:38,946
Where did you get
a scooter from?
1162
01:09:40,313 --> 01:09:41,749
It's my sons'.
1163
01:09:41,883 --> 01:09:42,850
Oh.
1164
01:09:47,522 --> 01:09:51,324
I know you said never
to save your life again, but...
1165
01:09:53,493 --> 01:09:55,195
I'll allow it this once.
1166
01:09:59,299 --> 01:10:02,436
Remember when we only had
one body to worry about?
1167
01:10:03,838 --> 01:10:06,941
Get in. I know a place.
1168
01:10:07,175 --> 01:10:08,576
Now you tell me.
1169
01:10:32,499 --> 01:10:34,736
Ever think about
where you wanna be buried?
1170
01:10:37,270 --> 01:10:38,405
Sorry.
1171
01:10:38,539 --> 01:10:40,373
That's so fucked up to ask.
1172
01:10:41,876 --> 01:10:43,511
They're probably
just gonna give me
1173
01:10:43,644 --> 01:10:46,681
some kind of religious burial,
no matter what I want.
1174
01:10:46,814 --> 01:10:48,415
So who cares?
1175
01:10:53,253 --> 01:10:54,454
I care.
1176
01:11:00,327 --> 01:11:03,664
I don't know. Just Nicole Kidman
me in a lake with my dog.
1177
01:11:06,466 --> 01:11:07,802
That's a good choice.
1178
01:11:10,403 --> 01:11:11,572
Oscar-worthy.
1179
01:12:02,924 --> 01:12:05,626
Sandy?
Oh, hi.
1180
01:12:05,760 --> 01:12:07,460
Hi.
Hi.
1181
01:12:07,595 --> 01:12:09,797
Oh, my. Have you been gardening?
1182
01:12:09,931 --> 01:12:12,332
Oh, um...
1183
01:12:14,467 --> 01:12:17,905
A little bit.
Heh, good for you!
1184
01:12:18,039 --> 01:12:19,774
Mmm.
1185
01:12:19,907 --> 01:12:23,410
Look at me, just making myself
right at home.
1186
01:12:23,544 --> 01:12:26,848
Listen, um, about last night...
1187
01:12:28,950 --> 01:12:31,118
Oh, I'm so embarrassed.
1188
01:12:31,351 --> 01:12:33,386
I don't remember a thing.
1189
01:12:33,521 --> 01:12:34,421
You don't?
1190
01:12:34,555 --> 01:12:35,823
Oh, God.
1191
01:12:35,957 --> 01:12:40,628
Uh-uh.
Oh, Sandy, you did seem...
1192
01:12:40,761 --> 01:12:43,396
very inebriated.
1193
01:12:43,531 --> 01:12:44,431
Oh, Gary.
1194
01:12:44,565 --> 01:12:45,700
It was right as we--
1195
01:12:45,833 --> 01:12:48,569
I was about to watch
Sex and the City 2,
1196
01:12:48,703 --> 01:12:51,939
and something about...
1197
01:12:52,073 --> 01:12:54,609
Cynthia...
Nixon.
1198
01:12:54,742 --> 01:12:57,645
Nixon really set you off.
1199
01:12:57,778 --> 01:13:00,615
Oh, she really does bother me.
1200
01:13:00,748 --> 01:13:04,118
But not as much as Charlotte.
Oh, exactly.
1201
01:13:04,352 --> 01:13:06,587
Yeah.
You were threatening self-harm,
1202
01:13:06,721 --> 01:13:08,823
and then you locked yourself
in the closet
1203
01:13:08,956 --> 01:13:11,926
before we-- I could help you.
1204
01:13:13,527 --> 01:13:14,829
Well, I'll tell you one thing,
1205
01:13:14,962 --> 01:13:17,832
not the first time
I've woken up in a closet.
1206
01:13:17,965 --> 01:13:21,569
My husband, God rest his soul,
1207
01:13:21,702 --> 01:13:23,638
he practically had to tie me
to the bed
1208
01:13:23,771 --> 01:13:25,706
to keep me from jumping
off the balcony
1209
01:13:25,840 --> 01:13:28,943
in the middle of Beaches,
that Bette Midler trauma.
1210
01:13:29,076 --> 01:13:30,745
I'm sure that's terrible.
1211
01:13:42,657 --> 01:13:44,926
I'm so lonely.
1212
01:13:47,828 --> 01:13:50,497
Aren't you lonely too, Gary?
1213
01:13:52,066 --> 01:13:53,067
Yeah.
1214
01:13:59,674 --> 01:14:03,544
Well, I better be getting along.
1215
01:14:03,678 --> 01:14:06,047
Gotta hit the road.
1216
01:14:08,015 --> 01:14:09,083
Stat.
1217
01:14:10,685 --> 01:14:11,886
Okay.
1218
01:14:19,527 --> 01:14:23,698
You're a good man, Gary.
1219
01:14:28,169 --> 01:14:30,504
I don't care
what anyone else says.
1220
01:14:31,806 --> 01:14:33,708
Okay.
1221
01:14:36,043 --> 01:14:38,212
Okay, bye. Bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye.
1222
01:14:38,478 --> 01:14:40,381
Bye! Bye-bye!
Bye.
1223
01:14:40,514 --> 01:14:41,849
Bye-bye!
1224
01:14:47,188 --> 01:14:49,924
Oh, my God.
Gary, you nailed that.
1225
01:14:50,057 --> 01:14:51,726
Did I?
Yes, bitch.
1226
01:14:51,859 --> 01:14:53,060
The Sex and the City 2
of it all?
1227
01:14:53,194 --> 01:14:55,463
You have really
come into your own.
1228
01:14:55,596 --> 01:14:56,897
Am I officially gay now?
1229
01:14:57,031 --> 01:14:59,867
Being gay was inside of you
all along, Scarecrow.
1230
01:15:00,001 --> 01:15:02,670
This is where I joke about other
gay things I want inside of me.
1231
01:15:02,803 --> 01:15:06,107
The student becomes the teacher.
Namaste.
1232
01:15:18,252 --> 01:15:20,287
You wanna know something
fucked up?
1233
01:15:22,256 --> 01:15:24,158
Ever since I was a little girl.
1234
01:15:30,131 --> 01:15:33,100
Last night might be
the most alive I've ever felt.
1235
01:15:36,237 --> 01:15:37,772
That is so fucked up.
1236
01:15:41,776 --> 01:15:43,844
I'm really glad I met you.
1237
01:15:45,780 --> 01:15:48,215
Even if multiple people are dead
because of it.
1238
01:15:50,551 --> 01:15:53,020
That's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me.
1239
01:15:57,792 --> 01:15:58,993
Before I forget...
1240
01:16:04,265 --> 01:16:05,900
I put it in my pants.
1241
01:16:15,276 --> 01:16:16,811
You should keep it.
1242
01:16:21,148 --> 01:16:22,917
Something to remember me by.
1243
01:16:25,186 --> 01:16:26,821
It's yours, Gary.
1244
01:16:47,675 --> 01:16:49,643
You don't have to kiss me,
Cameron. Really.
1245
01:16:49,777 --> 01:16:51,245
I'm not gonna kiss you.
1246
01:16:53,848 --> 01:16:55,683
You're gonna kiss me, Gary.
1247
01:17:49,370 --> 01:17:50,738
Wow.
1248
01:17:52,173 --> 01:17:53,941
Are you sure
that was your first time?
1249
01:17:54,074 --> 01:17:56,744
I just fit right in there.
1250
01:17:56,877 --> 01:17:57,845
Oh, God.
1251
01:18:03,384 --> 01:18:05,853
Gary, I really think
you should call your sons.
1252
01:18:07,922 --> 01:18:11,660
I don't love
the timing of that statement.
1253
01:18:11,792 --> 01:18:14,094
Yeah. No, I get that, but...
1254
01:18:15,162 --> 01:18:16,330
you should.
1255
01:18:18,766 --> 01:18:20,401
I wouldn't know what to say.
1256
01:18:23,237 --> 01:18:24,972
After all this time.
1257
01:18:28,375 --> 01:18:29,777
You do, though.
1258
01:18:44,358 --> 01:18:47,728
Thanks for the clothes.
Yeah, they look better on you.
1259
01:18:52,132 --> 01:18:53,167
Gary, I just...
1260
01:18:54,969 --> 01:18:56,237
I wanna say...
1261
01:18:59,406 --> 01:19:01,742
you're hot.
1262
01:19:01,875 --> 01:19:04,478
And in case I forget
to tell you later...
1263
01:19:06,013 --> 01:19:08,148
I had
a really good time tonight.
1264
01:19:11,218 --> 01:19:12,186
Pretty Woman.
1265
01:19:12,319 --> 01:19:13,787
Yeah.
1266
01:19:21,862 --> 01:19:22,997
Well, if you, um...
1267
01:19:24,164 --> 01:19:25,132
You wanna call me
1268
01:19:25,266 --> 01:19:27,167
or get together again...
1269
01:19:27,301 --> 01:19:29,003
Cameron.
1270
01:19:35,776 --> 01:19:36,844
Thank you.
1271
01:19:42,850 --> 01:19:43,951
Mm-hm.
1272
01:19:47,221 --> 01:19:48,389
Okay.
1273
01:20:33,233 --> 01:20:36,070
"Dear friends and family...
1274
01:20:36,203 --> 01:20:38,105
After recently coming out
as a gay man,
1275
01:20:38,238 --> 01:20:41,041
Gary O'Connell died
on Sunday, May 31st,
1276
01:20:41,175 --> 01:20:42,610
peacefully in his home."
1277
01:20:45,079 --> 01:20:46,380
Gary.
1278
01:20:46,514 --> 01:20:48,248
"Memorial service will be held
1279
01:20:48,382 --> 01:20:51,285
at Mary Magdalene Church
and Cemetery, June 7th.
1280
01:20:51,418 --> 01:20:55,089
Donations in his memory
may be made to the church."
1281
01:20:57,124 --> 01:20:58,926
What the fuck?
1282
01:21:11,405 --> 01:21:14,141
...wondering what if
it's been me and--
1283
01:21:14,274 --> 01:21:16,076
I don't know,
I just couldn't get over--
1284
01:21:16,210 --> 01:21:17,478
Bullshit.
1285
01:21:19,179 --> 01:21:21,081
Hi, Patty.
1286
01:21:21,215 --> 01:21:23,450
I got your fucking invitation,
you Hallmark hussy.
1287
01:21:23,585 --> 01:21:25,653
That card was beautiful
and tasteful--
1288
01:21:25,886 --> 01:21:27,622
And Gary would have hated it.
1289
01:21:27,856 --> 01:21:29,824
Listen, man. You got--
No, no, no. That's okay.
1290
01:21:29,957 --> 01:21:32,359
I'm here 'cause I cared a lot
about Gary.
1291
01:21:32,493 --> 01:21:34,128
A lot.
1292
01:21:34,261 --> 01:21:36,096
And I got to know the real him.
1293
01:21:36,230 --> 01:21:39,099
The him that none of you
ever got to see.
1294
01:21:39,233 --> 01:21:40,401
And that Gary...
1295
01:21:42,202 --> 01:21:43,805
that Gary would have hated this.
1296
01:21:43,937 --> 01:21:45,339
And you know that.
1297
01:21:47,141 --> 01:21:48,342
Don't you, Patty?
1298
01:21:52,946 --> 01:21:55,949
Are you finished?
I don't know. Am I finished?
1299
01:22:00,555 --> 01:22:04,526
I know you think you had
a good reason for coming...
1300
01:22:04,659 --> 01:22:07,161
but let me tell you this.
1301
01:22:07,294 --> 01:22:09,430
We all made our choices.
1302
01:22:09,564 --> 01:22:12,332
My husband made his choice.
1303
01:22:12,466 --> 01:22:15,269
And was it the right one for him
at the time? Maybe.
1304
01:22:15,402 --> 01:22:17,705
But the truth is,
if I had known,
1305
01:22:17,938 --> 01:22:20,909
maybe my choices would have
been different.
1306
01:22:21,041 --> 01:22:22,844
Because this was...
1307
01:22:22,976 --> 01:22:27,549
never about me standing
in the way of what Gary wanted.
1308
01:22:27,682 --> 01:22:29,183
This was about him.
1309
01:22:30,685 --> 01:22:33,688
And the both of us wasted
so much of our lives
1310
01:22:33,922 --> 01:22:36,490
trying to be
what the other person wanted.
1311
01:22:36,624 --> 01:22:40,294
So much trying, so many years.
1312
01:22:40,427 --> 01:22:43,063
And we never did get to be
who we wanted.
1313
01:22:43,197 --> 01:22:45,098
Neither one of us. Ever.
1314
01:22:45,232 --> 01:22:47,067
Until the end.
1315
01:22:47,201 --> 01:22:50,905
He wasn't sorry. He was angry.
1316
01:22:51,038 --> 01:22:52,941
And so I got angry too.
1317
01:22:53,073 --> 01:22:57,177
And we both chose to sit
in that anger for a long time.
1318
01:22:57,311 --> 01:22:58,412
Too long.
1319
01:22:58,546 --> 01:23:01,114
But then we made another choice.
1320
01:23:01,248 --> 01:23:03,417
And we had the courage
to put all that aside.
1321
01:23:03,551 --> 01:23:07,454
And that is the man
that I finally got to know.
1322
01:23:09,056 --> 01:23:11,158
So God help me,
don't you dare stand there
1323
01:23:11,291 --> 01:23:13,528
and tell me
that I didn't know who he was.
1324
01:23:16,163 --> 01:23:17,130
I'm sorry.
1325
01:23:19,333 --> 01:23:20,467
Good.
1326
01:23:24,137 --> 01:23:26,073
Father, I'm so sorry about that.
1327
01:23:36,751 --> 01:23:40,187
Hey. What the hell did you think
you were doing in there?
1328
01:23:40,320 --> 01:23:42,089
Look, I'm not here
to cause any trouble.
1329
01:23:42,222 --> 01:23:45,092
Well, you did call my mom
a "Hallmark hussy."
1330
01:23:45,225 --> 01:23:48,462
Yeah, words just kind of fall
out of my mouth sometimes and...
1331
01:23:48,596 --> 01:23:50,532
I don't know.
Right. Understood.
1332
01:23:50,665 --> 01:23:52,000
Yeah.
1333
01:23:52,132 --> 01:23:54,034
My father reached out,
1334
01:23:54,167 --> 01:23:56,804
and he told us
that he met a guy...
1335
01:23:57,037 --> 01:24:00,307
and that that guy said that
he should call his family.
1336
01:24:00,440 --> 01:24:03,143
And I just wanted to say,
because of you,
1337
01:24:03,277 --> 01:24:05,980
we got our dad back...
1338
01:24:06,113 --> 01:24:07,615
for a little while longer.
1339
01:24:07,749 --> 01:24:08,683
That's...
1340
01:24:10,117 --> 01:24:11,251
I'm glad.
1341
01:24:12,319 --> 01:24:14,087
And then this.
1342
01:24:15,723 --> 01:24:17,825
He wanted to make sure
I gave it to you.
1343
01:24:21,663 --> 01:24:24,097
He said you'd know
what to do with it.
1344
01:24:27,467 --> 01:24:28,503
I do.
1345
01:24:48,288 --> 01:24:49,657
Could I just...?
1346
01:25:11,311 --> 01:25:12,245
Um...
1347
01:25:13,815 --> 01:25:16,584
Can I just get a moment
with him?
1348
01:25:16,718 --> 01:25:18,318
Can you turn around, please?
1349
01:25:19,386 --> 01:25:20,521
Sorry.
1350
01:25:26,094 --> 01:25:27,260
Thank you.
1351
01:25:37,639 --> 01:25:38,740
Oh, Gary...
1352
01:25:40,575 --> 01:25:41,609
my lover...
1353
01:25:43,310 --> 01:25:44,444
my friend...
1354
01:25:46,514 --> 01:25:49,316
the day I penetrated
your virgin hole...
1355
01:25:49,449 --> 01:25:50,585
Oh, my God.
1356
01:25:50,718 --> 01:25:53,153
...was the best day of my life!
1357
01:25:53,286 --> 01:25:59,192
And we may not be leaving
this Earth at the same time,
1358
01:25:59,326 --> 01:26:03,230
but at least we came together!
1359
01:26:09,604 --> 01:26:11,706
What the fuck are you doing?
1360
01:26:13,473 --> 01:26:15,175
Fuck. Fuck.
1361
01:26:21,516 --> 01:26:23,316
Let's do some gay shit, Gary.
1362
01:26:25,653 --> 01:26:29,423
Stop! Yo! Where are you going?
1363
01:26:30,558 --> 01:26:31,559
Are you--?
1364
01:27:30,685 --> 01:27:32,754
He's coming for you, Duke.
1365
01:28:10,290 --> 01:28:12,660
Fuck. Unh!
1366
01:28:15,630 --> 01:28:16,864
Fuck!
97898
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