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(* "Gotta Get Out Of Kansas")
4
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,819
* Wind blowing through my hair
5
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:23,091
* Everybody telling me
there's nowhere like home
6
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,392
* No, no
7
00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,796
* There's somewhere else for me
8
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:33,201
* I need to take
the opportunity and go
9
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:36,270
* And go, yeah
10
00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:38,206
* 'Cause 'round here
it's all too far
11
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,508
* And when I look up
to the stars
12
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,811
* I wanna be,
I wanna be like they are
13
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,114
* Oh, oh, oh
14
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:50,318
* Sometimes you gotta get
out of Kansas
15
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:54,288
* And sometimes you gotta
take your chances
16
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:55,856
* Find the answer
17
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,858
* 'Cause no one ever made it
just waiting around
18
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:01,295
* For their big 15 minutes
in a two-bit town
19
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:04,398
* And one thing I know
is crystal-clear
20
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,700
* I gotta get out of here
21
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:13,641
* A new sound,
a whole new crowd
22
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:17,278
* Why whisper,
when I want to sing out loud?
23
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:20,814
* And let me hear you say,
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah"
24
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,184
* I'm on land but I can fly
25
00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:27,388
* Something in my heart
saying I was meant to shine
26
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:30,624
* Like a diamond in the sky
27
00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:33,194
* I wanna see my name in lights
28
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,163
* And someone
to buy the movie rights
29
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:38,499
* I wanna hear my music
come to life
30
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,501
* Oh
31
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:44,672
* Sometimes you gotta get
out of Kansas
32
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:48,442
* And sometimes
you gotta take your chances
33
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,711
* Find the answer
34
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,646
* 'Cause no one ever made it
just waiting around
35
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,383
* For their big 15 minutes
in a two-bit town
36
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:58,452
* And one thing I know
is crystal-clear
37
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:01,121
* I gotta get outta here
38
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:06,560
* I gotta get outta here
39
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,729
* Mm-mm
40
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,399
* I gotta get out of here
41
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:16,370
(woman) Dorothy.
I gotta get out of here.
42
00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:20,241
Dorothy!
Enough daydreaming,
Dorothy.
43
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:22,610
You know, these ketchup bottles
ain't gonna refill themselves.
44
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:26,414
Sorry, Aunt Em.
I just can't stop thinking
about my audition today.
45
00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:28,782
So, how do I look?
46
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:30,584
You look like one of them girls
in one of them rap videos.
47
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:33,254
Order's up!
48
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:36,424
Uncle Henry, what do you
think of my outfit?
49
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:40,294
You look like
one of them girls
in a rap video.
50
00:02:40,328 --> 00:02:43,831
But we cannot allow you
to walk around the street
dressed like that.
51
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:46,400
Dorothy's old enough
to dress the way she wants,
don't you think?
52
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:49,403
Now, Em, don't get mad.
Baby? Uh-oh.
53
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,242
There you go.
It's three o'clock.
54
00:02:54,275 --> 00:02:57,378
I've gotta go to my audition.
And this is what I'm wearing.
55
00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:59,313
What? You can't leave.
56
00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:02,483
Hey, Early. Hey!
Hey, Em.
57
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,485
I need you
for the early-bird rush.
58
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:09,923
I know I'm leaving you
short-handed, Aunt Em,
but this is big.
59
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:13,527
I mean, if they like me,
I could get out of Kansas
and become somebody.
60
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:16,497
If they like you?
See, that's your problem.
61
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,967
Look, now, you can roll
out of here in one of
those stretch Hummers
62
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,902
and sing all around the world,
63
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,971
but you never gonna get
to where you wanna be
64
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,006
until you're happy
with who you are.
65
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,942
What?
You can go to your audition
after your shift is over.
66
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:31,645
But I'm already gonna be late!
(Uncle Henry whispers)
Psst, Dorothy.
67
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:34,382
Over here. Come, come, come,
come, come, come, come.
68
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:37,285
Nice to see you, Glen.
(Uncle Henry) So that's it?
69
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:40,020
You're just gonna pass up
an opportunity to audition
for the Muppets,
70
00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,690
the most powerful puppets
in Hollywood?
71
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,393
(Dorothy) You heard
the wise one:
72
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:47,628
"You're not gonna
where you're going
till you're where you're at."
73
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,564
Well, you've been a great
employee at my diner
for years now,
74
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,567
and it's time I repaid
the favor. So, go on
to your audition.
75
00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:55,269
Thanks!
Go on.
76
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:59,039
Excuse me. Henry!
Hey, baby.
77
00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:01,975
Henry!
Remember what I said.
Ten percent.
78
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,412
I'm kidding.
Henry! Where's she off to?
79
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,380
Who?
Who?
80
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:07,915
I don't see anybody,
I don't know who you're
talking to.
81
00:04:07,948 --> 00:04:10,584
Hey, have you ever seen
an African avocado?
82
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:14,488
They're orange,
but they taste just
like peanut butter.
83
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:17,425
What? Guess what we're
having for dinner.
A basketful of kisses, honey.
84
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:21,562
Oh, man! Who put a gym shoe
in the deep fryer?
85
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:33,707
Sir? Sir, hi.
I'm here for the audition.
86
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:37,711
I'm afraid auditions ended
at four, due to slim pickin's.
87
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:40,348
Please, I'm only
five minutes late.
88
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:43,451
Oh, alas, I feel your pain.
89
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:46,320
But the Muppets have gone
and where they are now,
90
00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:49,957
heaven only knows.
91
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:54,462
(Kermit) OK, guys,
if you gotta go, go.
Next stop, Nebraska.
92
00:04:54,495 --> 00:04:56,897
Who'd have thought it would be
so hard to find an all-American
girl with talent?
93
00:04:56,930 --> 00:05:00,634
Yeah, how do the producers
of Girls Gone Wild do it?
94
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:03,471
Mr. Kermit! Miss Piggy!
95
00:05:03,504 --> 00:05:06,073
Oh, great, a groupie.
Sorry, dear, no autographs.
96
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:08,542
Actually, I wanted
to sing for you,
97
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,978
but if it's too late,
do you think maybe you can
listen to my demo?
98
00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,746
Oh, I...
No time.
99
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,383
We'll have to get your song
off Napster.
No, no, Piggy.
100
00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:18,519
Sure, uh, gee...
And you're a singer?
101
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,554
Yeah.
And you did this demo
yourself?
102
00:05:20,588 --> 00:05:23,791
All by myself.
Time to go!
103
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,126
Well, listen, I will try
to listen to your CD!
104
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,029
OK, thanks for your time.
105
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:54,422
Why are you doing that?
106
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:56,690
I thought it would make
the moment more dramatic.
107
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,426
(tuts)
108
00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,479
(man over radio) It's not
looking pretty out there
tonight
109
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:21,482
with strong gusts of wind
up to 90 miles an hour
110
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,016
through the Central Plain area.
111
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,453
Don't forget
the toilet paper.
This just in.
112
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:30,424
The National Weather Bureau
has raised the twister alert
from right-foot green,
113
00:06:30,458 --> 00:06:32,893
to right-foot yellow.
Do you know what that means,
folks?
114
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:37,698
All you people in Boomville
and Washedup should take
extra precautions tonight...
115
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:41,068
Baby, what took you so long?
Did you miss your bus?
116
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,737
You got what you wanted,
I'm still stuck here.
117
00:06:46,874 --> 00:06:49,009
You need to talk
to your niece.
118
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:52,813
You need to talk
to your niece.
119
00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:55,716
OK, I'll talk to her.
I'm just packing the box.
120
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,894
Toto, is this it for me?
121
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,596
Serving meatloaf to truckers
122
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:11,131
and living
in a Kansas trailer park?
123
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:24,044
Now, I know you think
show business
124
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:26,614
is all glitz and glamour,
but it's not.
125
00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:29,082
Well, that is true.
That is very, very true.
126
00:07:29,116 --> 00:07:32,085
Hollywood is full of crime
and flash fires,
127
00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:34,087
earthquakes, paparazzi...
128
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,889
(imitates camera shutter)
129
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:38,592
You know, it's not safe.
Not like here.
(thunder)
130
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,632
Look, I know you wanna leave,
but you still belong here
131
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,266
with your family
and your friends.
132
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:49,537
What friends?
What friends? Come on.
133
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,772
Toto's your friend,
and um...
134
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,842
uh, you got, uh...
135
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,678
Toto's your friend.
Toto's a prawn
I rescued from the diner
136
00:07:57,711 --> 00:08:00,113
because you won't let me
have a dog.
137
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,115
Well, dogs are funky.
138
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:05,252
And they got fleas, OK?
139
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:08,956
Look, how about this?
When this blows over,
140
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,759
we will go to the Karaoke Bar
and Buffet.
141
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,562
Sing, girl!
Don't you guys get it?
142
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,698
I don't want to sing karaoke
in some little Kansas
restaurant.
143
00:08:17,731 --> 00:08:20,167
I want an exciting life.
144
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,870
I want to go somewhere
where I can see a concert,
145
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,973
or take dance lessons,
or maybe even learn kabbalah.
146
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:28,809
Kabbalah?
Did she blaspheme?
I don't think so, baby.
147
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,645
I wanna go somewhere
where I can be someone.
148
00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:35,983
Maybe even a star.
OK, now,
149
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,686
do you wanna be a star
or a singer?
150
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,689
Because they're not
the same thing.
151
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:44,257
Well, all I know is that
I hate living here and I don't
want to end up like you.
152
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,894
(warning siren)
Uh-oh.
153
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,896
Uh-oh. Well...
154
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:52,132
Hey, did you know that
in the Northern Hemisphere,
155
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,167
hurricanes, they twist
counterclockwise,
156
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,870
but in the Southern Hemisphere
they twist clockwise?
157
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:59,172
I'd hate to be the guy
that figured that out.
158
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:00,808
With the wind
just blowing everything...
159
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:07,280
Well, that's the round.
Back to your corners.
160
00:09:07,314 --> 00:09:13,186
I'm heading to the storm shelter
before this tornado hits
and we all die.
161
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,323
Anybody care to join me?
162
00:09:16,356 --> 00:09:18,992
Great. Now I'm stuck
with these two knuckleheads
in the storm shelter.
163
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,334
Dorothy, come on!
164
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:39,079
Henry, come on!
Come on, I'll help you.
165
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,248
Come on, babe.
166
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:50,257
Wait! I forgot Toto!
No, it's just a shrimp!
167
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,926
He's not a shrimp,
he's a king prawn!
168
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,728
Dorothy!
169
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,299
Dorothy!
170
00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,771
(screams)
171
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:09,176
Toto! Toto!
172
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,952
(screams) Sorry, Toto!
173
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:24,257
When I make it big, I'm gonna
buy a nice brick house
174
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,993
that's anchored to the ground.
175
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,122
Ouch!
176
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:01,294
Toto!
177
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:04,932
Toto! Come on, Toto!
Where are you?
178
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,469
Toto!
179
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:13,140
(Spanish accent) Hola!
(both scream)
180
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:15,375
¿Por qué? What is it?
Why do we scream, OK?
181
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:18,378
You're all big.
And you're talking.
182
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:22,482
Sí. But more importantly,
I am naked, OK.
183
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,483
(laughs)
184
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,919
Wait! No!
Huh? What?
185
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:29,189
Here.
Oh, no, no, no.
He's not my type, OK.
186
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:31,358
The clothes.
OK. Oh, the clothes.
187
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,126
You want me to put
on the clothes,
188
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,494
you just have to say,
"Put on the clothes."
189
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,729
(thud)
190
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,430
OK.
(fabric ripping)
191
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,470
Hmm. Oh, it's a nice fit, OK?
192
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,372
Yeah, it's kind of cute.
I like how...
193
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,307
Sí, sí.
194
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,509
What am I doing?
Hmm?
195
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,445
You can't be
talking to me.
Oh. Oh, but I am.
196
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:55,115
I need some air.
Sí, sí.
197
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:58,185
I have this effect
on all the womens, OK.
I'll come with you.
198
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,190
Little help, please.
Come on, Toto.
199
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:06,894
Gracias.
200
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:09,396
There.
201
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,431
(both gasp)
202
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,536
(Toto) Dios mío!
It's incredible.
203
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,439
They get satellite here.
204
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:22,375
(gasps) Can't believe...
205
00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:26,279
Do you see what I see?
Yeah.
206
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:29,783
All the houses are so tiny.
It's a small world,
after all.
207
00:12:29,817 --> 00:12:32,820
Oh, my gosh. What...?
I can't believe it.
208
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,989
I can't believe it.
209
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:37,791
(Dorothy) Oh, man!
210
00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,361
Toto...
211
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,931
Where the...?
Wait!
212
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,934
For those of you who have
Dark Side of the Moon,
press play...
213
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,169
(chattering)
...now.
214
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:52,539
Ay, Chihuahua!
No, wait.
They're not Chihuahuas.
215
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,541
Ay, rats! Rats in hats!
216
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:57,444
(chuckles)
Rats in hats, get it?
217
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,913
I am a poet
and I didn't even realize
I had such capabilities.
218
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:03,216
OK. I work in a diner,
I know how to handle rats.
219
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,551
Rats? We ain't rats.
220
00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:07,554
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Coming through.
221
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,556
We're the Munchkins
of Munchkinland.
222
00:13:09,589 --> 00:13:12,425
The book, the book, the book!
Come on, come on, come on.
223
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,563
OK. And I quote:
224
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:19,833
Ahem.
"Rat: a long-tailed rodent,
225
00:13:19,867 --> 00:13:23,603
especially one of
the genus Rattus.
226
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:28,175
"Munchkin: a cuddly,
cute and clean creature
227
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:31,411
who resides
in the land of Oz."
228
00:13:31,444 --> 00:13:32,846
Munchkins?
Yeah.
229
00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:34,982
Sorry, but I know a rat
when I see one.
230
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:37,117
Hey. Whatever you say
there, short stacks.
231
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,219
All I know is, thanks to you,
the Wicked Witch of the East
232
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:41,221
is dead and we are free!
233
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,456
(cheering)
(woman) Free?
234
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:47,627
You're not free!
Get over here and get
this tin can off me! Now!
235
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:50,630
Oh, my gosh, she's alive!
Quick, we gotta help her!
236
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,832
(muttering)
(woman) Please, help me up!
237
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,171
Well, Munchkins,
we're too late.
238
00:13:58,205 --> 00:13:59,572
Guys!
But no tears -
239
00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,408
she's in a better place.
240
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,376
(all) Yeah!
241
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,578
(grunting)
242
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,218
I'm gonna put you
in a better place -
243
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,887
in my oven! You hear me?
244
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,124
Um... (giggles)
245
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:19,426
Could someone spot me?
246
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:22,329
Wow! This is a lot heavier
than I...
247
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,901
Ew!
248
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:33,073
OK. Now she's dead!
249
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,144
(Toto) What is that?
250
00:14:39,146 --> 00:14:43,016
Hey, look! Even the twisters
are Munchkin-sized.
251
00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:45,018
Oh, that's no twister -
that's her sister.
252
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:46,686
She's the sister of the witch
253
00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,989
that you just crushed
with a house.
254
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:51,391
Sister?
255
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:57,330
Bonjour, Munchie-kins!
(giggles)
256
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,933
Cuddles! Cuddles!
257
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:02,035
(kissing noises)
258
00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,304
Each and every one of you!
259
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:06,406
My speed dating ended early,
260
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,708
so I thought
I'd drop in for a cuddle
261
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,443
and a visit with
my wicked East-Coast sister.
262
00:15:10,477 --> 00:15:12,512
Uh... Yeah, well,
263
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:15,715
a funny thing about
the East-Coast sister.
264
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:18,318
Not so much funny as...
uh... uh...
265
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:21,554
disturbing.
Disturbing. Yes.
266
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:24,024
You see, this giant girl
right over here
267
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,626
kinda squashed her to death
with a double-wide.
268
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,528
What?
Yeah.
269
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:31,498
Uh... Right here.
270
00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,334
(gasps)
271
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,370
Excuse me,
I just want you to know
272
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:40,473
that I've never met
this giant girl before
in my entire life.
273
00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:43,243
Sorry, Dorothy...
um... Giant Girl.
274
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,445
It was an accident.
I swear.
275
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:49,182
Well, in that case,
c'est la vie!
La vie! La vie!
276
00:15:49,216 --> 00:15:52,519
I drop things
all the time myself.
277
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,354
Charmed to make
your acquaintance.
278
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:58,491
I am Tattypoo,
the old and Good Witch
of the North.
279
00:15:58,525 --> 00:16:00,193
But you're so young
and beautiful.
280
00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:02,029
(giggles)
Aren't you a cutie!
281
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:03,696
(Munchkin) No, you are!
You are!
282
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:07,400
So tell me, what kind of
magical abilities do you have?
283
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:10,070
Well, I don't have
any magical abilities,
284
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:13,140
but I am a singer.
I mean, I want to be a singer.
285
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:16,109
(Toto) Mm, and she's
very good, OK.
A singer?
286
00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,345
Really?
Oh, that's so funny!
I'm a singer too.
287
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:21,081
Yes, my sisters and I
288
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,415
were once the hottest
girl band in Oz.
Yeah!
289
00:16:25,785 --> 00:16:29,589
But all that fame and fortune
left me feeling empty inside.
290
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,192
So I quit show biz
and committed my life
291
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:35,195
to advancing rights
for the vertically challenged
of Oz,
292
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,230
my little Munchie-wunchies.
293
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:39,199
Aw!
Cuddles!
294
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:42,202
(giggling)
295
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:45,072
Oh, yes!
296
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:47,040
(kissing noises)
297
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,744
Well, it's been nice
meeting you and all,
298
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,447
but I should probably
be on my way.
299
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,449
Anyone know how to get
to Kansas from here?
300
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,686
Never heard of it.
Is this Kansas
a civilized country?
301
00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:02,589
Well, if by civilized
you mean flat,
boring and gray,
302
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,491
yeah, it's civilized.
303
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:05,825
Well, then, why do you
want to go back?
304
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:09,162
Yeah, why do we want
to go back?
Well, because...
305
00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:12,399
Aunt Em and... Well...
306
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:15,468
I don't know what Kansas is,
but if you want to be
a famous singer,
307
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:18,638
you must see the wonderful
Wizard of Oz.
Yeah!
308
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:21,308
First...
309
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,410
(grunts)
(pop)
310
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,512
...you have to wear
my sister's shoes. Here.
311
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:29,849
You want me to wear shoes
off a nasty old witch?
I don't think so.
312
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,752
Oh, but there's
a powerful magic
connected to them.
313
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:35,155
And look how sparkly they are.
314
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,756
Mm-mm.
315
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,362
(laughs)
316
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,198
(continues laughing)
317
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:48,635
Listen, high pockets,
here's how things work
in enchanted lands.
318
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,637
Shoes have magical powers.
319
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,805
If you have the shoes,
you get the powers.
320
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:56,243
But if you're going to question
every little detail,
321
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,845
the whole thing's gonna fall
apart and we might as well
call it a day, OK?
322
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:01,314
(Munchkins) OK?
323
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:04,384
(singsong) They're Manolos.
324
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:07,154
Manolos?
Why didn't you say that?
325
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:11,491
Check the label.
Yeah, they're good.
326
00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,327
I'll help you, OK.
(all) Ooh!
327
00:18:16,863 --> 00:18:19,366
Those are unbelievable, OK?
328
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:26,206
Wow! They fit perfectly!
329
00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,808
If the power of these
magic shoes is supposed
to make you feel
330
00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:32,912
confident and sexy,
then mission accomplished.
331
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,681
So, take me
to meet your wizard.
332
00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:36,916
To get to the wizard,
333
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:41,488
just follow this road
of yellow brick
to Emerald City.
334
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,756
It's in the exact center
of our country.
335
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,792
Wait, I gotta walk
to the center of your country?
336
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,427
There's not, like, a bus
or something I can take?
337
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:51,264
You wanna be a star or not?
OK, OK, sorry.
338
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,932
Well, let's go.
339
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,336
Oh, hold up there,
Giant Girl.
The name's Dorothy.
340
00:18:56,369 --> 00:19:00,240
Well, Dorothy, we Munchkins
kinda owe ya for saving us
and all.
341
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:03,543
You ever need a favor,
you just give us a holler,
like so...
342
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,846
(blows pitch pipe)
343
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,481
* Calling all Munchkins
344
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:10,483
* Let's do lunchkins
345
00:19:10,517 --> 00:19:12,352
* One for all
* And all for one
346
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:16,256
* Calling all Munchkins
Munchkins, Munchkins, Munchkins
347
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:18,391
* Take our call
348
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:21,361
You sing that
and we'll come a-scampering.
349
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:24,331
Uh, yeah, we'll be sure
to do this, OK.
Let's go, Dorothy.
350
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,666
One more thing. (giggles)
351
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,435
I don't know why I didn't
mention this before.
352
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:31,204
Whatever you do,
avoid the west.
353
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,206
My other evil sister
rules there,
354
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,942
and if she finds out
you have the silver shoes,
355
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:37,844
she'll hunt you down
and pry them off your cold,
dead carcass.
356
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:40,447
What?
(giggles) Bye.
357
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,582
Why are you just now
telling me this?
358
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,654
Come on, Dorothy. You're not
getting any younger, OK.
359
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,856
Let's go get famous.
360
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:52,925
I don't know.
That Witch of the West thing
sounds kind of dangerous.
361
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:56,363
Don't worry about it.
You're going to have
to trust me, you know?
362
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:57,964
I'm your agent, OK.
I'm your agent.
363
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:01,568
When did I make you
my agent?
Well, since you're asking,
364
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,470
I thought possibly
what we could do is...
365
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,438
Come on, short stuff.
(muffled talking)
366
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,447
(Dorothy) I wish you'd stop
with this whole agent thing.
367
00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:18,285
Yes, yes, I know.
It's very awkward
for you, OK.
368
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,820
But I think it's very important
that we discuss my commission.
369
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:25,625
So, it seems that
50 percent is easiest.
370
00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:27,560
I think I liked it better
when you couldn't talk.
371
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:28,595
(laughs)
372
00:20:28,628 --> 00:20:30,997
Well, you think about it, OK.
Take your time.
373
00:20:31,030 --> 00:20:33,766
I'm gonna get some corn.
It's fresh on the cobs, OK.
374
00:20:35,868 --> 00:20:37,604
(laughs)
375
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:47,447
What are you doing?
What?
376
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:51,318
You didn't by chance see
that movie The Passion, huh?
377
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:53,320
No, so don't ruin
the ending.
No, that's not what--
378
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:55,888
Personally,
I liked The Birds.
Figures.
379
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,957
Hey, you got something
in your eye.
What?
380
00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,460
This! Yah! Yah! Yah!
Hey, stop that!
381
00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:02,695
You...!
382
00:21:02,729 --> 00:21:04,030
Hey, stop that!
(laughs)
383
00:21:04,063 --> 00:21:06,733
Hey!
Oh, this is the last straw!
384
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,835
No, I see one right here.
Stop that!
385
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:11,538
Get our grubby beak
off him!
Huh?
386
00:21:13,005 --> 00:21:14,874
(cuckoo clock chirping)
387
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,377
Cuckoo!
388
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:20,413
You OK?
Huh? What?
389
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:23,516
Oh, I'm fine.
But lucky for that crow
you showed up when you did
390
00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:25,985
'cause I was gonna come off
of these sticks
and I was gonna...
391
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,987
I was... uh...
392
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:30,723
Yeah, thanks.
I think I owe you one.
393
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:33,025
Name's Scarecrow.
394
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:35,061
I'm Dorothy.
And that's Toto.
395
00:21:35,094 --> 00:21:36,996
Mm-mm. Hola!
396
00:21:37,029 --> 00:21:39,399
Um... You got any butter?
Oh, what the hey?
397
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:43,069
Go ahead and eat the corn.
Better you than the birds.
398
00:21:43,102 --> 00:21:46,806
I'm the worst scarecrow ever,
but what can I do?
399
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:51,344
I'm tied to a job
I'm no good at... literally.
400
00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:54,847
Well, if you ask me,
I think it's time
for a career change.
401
00:21:54,881 --> 00:21:58,418
No, no. I can't do that.
I'm not good at anything
because...
402
00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:03,523
(whispers)
...I don't have a brain.
403
00:22:03,556 --> 00:22:06,058
You don't have a brain?
Right.
404
00:22:06,092 --> 00:22:08,928
Why are you whispering?
What?
405
00:22:08,961 --> 00:22:12,465
Uh... well, I can't really
answer that because...
406
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,803
I don't have a brain.
407
00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,805
Well, let's get you
down from there.
408
00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:20,740
Now, why didn't I
think of that?
409
00:22:20,773 --> 00:22:23,410
Oh, right. No brain.
Whoa!
410
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:26,479
Oh, why, thank you, Dorothy.
411
00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:27,847
You're welcome, Scarecrow.
412
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:29,048
(burps)
413
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:31,818
This was me.
Ugh!
414
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:34,854
What? What?
You can smell it?
415
00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:37,524
You know, we're on our way
to meet the Wizard of Oz
416
00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,892
and he's gonna make me
a superstar singer.
417
00:22:39,926 --> 00:22:42,862
And if he can do that,
I bet he can give you a brain.
418
00:22:42,895 --> 00:22:45,832
If I had a brain,
I wouldn't be stupid.
419
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:49,669
And if I wasn't stupid,
I'd be able to do
something important.
420
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,738
You know, something
that helps people's lives.
421
00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:53,673
Well, how about it, then?
422
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,675
Will you come with us
to Emerald City
to meet the wizard?
423
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:58,010
Emerald?
You mean, it's green?
424
00:22:58,044 --> 00:23:00,747
You bet!
I like it already.
425
00:23:00,780 --> 00:23:02,815
I can't believe.
426
00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:05,017
Thank you.
I can't believe.
427
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:09,188
She's got to pick up
every Tom, Dick and Carlos
on the road, OK.
428
00:23:09,221 --> 00:23:11,524
This is totally
unacceptable, OK.
These shoes are killing me.
429
00:23:11,558 --> 00:23:13,460
Totally unacceptable.
430
00:23:13,493 --> 00:23:15,662
Come on, come on.
Quit busting my shell, OK.
431
00:23:15,695 --> 00:23:18,865
My client is A-list now,
she deserves
the A-list monies, OK.
432
00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:21,568
Will you knock it off!
You're not an agent.
433
00:23:21,601 --> 00:23:24,837
And the cell phone
isn't even real.
What?
434
00:23:24,871 --> 00:23:26,573
It's a candy dispenser.
435
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:31,478
Listen, I'm gonna have
to call you back.
436
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:33,580
The diva's having
a meltdown, OK.
437
00:23:33,613 --> 00:23:36,849
Ooh! Cinnamints.
Hey, do you hear that?
438
00:23:36,883 --> 00:23:39,586
(engine)
Sounds like it's coming
from over there.
439
00:23:41,721 --> 00:23:44,591
"T-i-n."
Wonder what that means.
440
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:47,627
Maybe, "trust in no one."
It could be a sign.
441
00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:50,162
Yeah, there's another sign:
"Danger. High Voltage."
442
00:23:50,196 --> 00:23:52,532
Wonder what that means? Hmm.
443
00:23:53,966 --> 00:23:56,503
(door creaks)
444
00:23:59,839 --> 00:24:02,174
Hello?
445
00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:04,711
Look! Look at
all the computers, OK.
Yeah.
446
00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:09,148
(Scarecrow) Is there somebody
in that chair?
447
00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:11,684
There's somebody
in that chair!
448
00:24:11,718 --> 00:24:15,087
Dios mío! He's twitching,
he's twitching.
449
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:17,256
Think he's stuck?
You think he needs
our help?
450
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:20,259
Do you think he could
check my e-mails?
451
00:24:20,292 --> 00:24:23,830
Maybe we should press
this restart button.
452
00:24:26,533 --> 00:24:28,467
(computers humming)
453
00:24:29,969 --> 00:24:32,104
Hey! Hey.
454
00:24:32,138 --> 00:24:34,907
Oh, my God.
455
00:24:34,941 --> 00:24:36,509
Oh! Oh!
456
00:24:36,543 --> 00:24:38,645
Welcome to the Total
Intelligence Network.
457
00:24:38,678 --> 00:24:41,814
"TIN" for short.
458
00:24:41,848 --> 00:24:43,983
Ooh!
459
00:24:44,016 --> 00:24:47,053
Wow, I must have froze up
trying to run too many programs.
460
00:24:47,086 --> 00:24:50,590
What in the name
of all that is holy
are you, OK?
461
00:24:50,623 --> 00:24:53,593
Oh, I'm a Tin Thing.
A fully-robotic
information-gathering device
462
00:24:53,626 --> 00:24:55,261
for the Wicked Witch
of the West,
463
00:24:55,294 --> 00:24:57,797
and I can answer any
question in the universe.
464
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:59,799
Anything.
I got one.
465
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:02,535
Why are the women
so confusing, OK?
466
00:25:02,569 --> 00:25:04,971
Let me process that. Huh!
467
00:25:07,039 --> 00:25:08,775
(grunting)
468
00:25:08,808 --> 00:25:11,143
(sighs)
469
00:25:11,177 --> 00:25:14,180
It only seems that way
because men are so simple.
470
00:25:14,213 --> 00:25:16,583
Wow. He is
a clever unit.
Hmm.
471
00:25:16,616 --> 00:25:19,251
Yeah, you know,
I'd give my stuffed foot
for half of your brains.
472
00:25:19,285 --> 00:25:21,988
Take it from me -
brains don't make you happy.
473
00:25:22,021 --> 00:25:24,190
I'm nothing but a brain,
thanks to the Wicked Witch.
474
00:25:24,223 --> 00:25:26,826
She made you like this?
Did she ever!
475
00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:28,260
When I was a young
research assistant,
476
00:25:28,294 --> 00:25:30,663
I made the mistake
of asking for a vacation
477
00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:34,233
so I could marry
the love of my life Camilla.
478
00:25:34,266 --> 00:25:37,003
(Toto) She's a chicken?
Weirdo.
479
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:38,638
And the Wicked Witch
got so angry,
480
00:25:38,671 --> 00:25:41,741
she waved her wand
and ka-blowie!
481
00:25:41,774 --> 00:25:46,746
Next thing I know,
I'm a walking, talking
robotic... thing.
482
00:25:46,779 --> 00:25:48,815
Oh! That's terrible.
483
00:25:48,848 --> 00:25:50,850
Yeah, she could have
just said no.
484
00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:52,685
Yeah, but why did she
turn you into a robot?
485
00:25:52,719 --> 00:25:54,754
Because...
(hollow knock)
486
00:25:54,787 --> 00:25:56,689
...robots don't have hearts,
487
00:25:56,723 --> 00:25:58,691
and without a heart,
I couldn't love Camilla.
488
00:25:58,725 --> 00:26:01,360
And without Camilla,
I could work day and night.
489
00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:02,294
(sighs)
490
00:26:02,328 --> 00:26:07,199
Well, nice talking to you.
Back to work.
491
00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:10,737
Um, excuse me.
Mm? Huh?
492
00:26:10,770 --> 00:26:12,805
We're on our way to see
the Wizard of Oz
493
00:26:12,839 --> 00:26:14,173
and he's gonna make
me a famous singer.
494
00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:15,708
Yeah, and he's gonna
give me a brain.
495
00:26:15,742 --> 00:26:18,077
Sí, and he probably give me
lots of monies, OK.
496
00:26:18,110 --> 00:26:21,681
And if he can do that,
I'm sure he can give you
a heart.
497
00:26:21,714 --> 00:26:25,017
Really? Well, I'm sure
if I had a heart,
I could win Camilla back.
498
00:26:25,051 --> 00:26:27,353
Yeah!
Maybe I will go with you.
499
00:26:27,386 --> 00:26:30,189
All right, well, let's go!
All right!
500
00:26:30,222 --> 00:26:32,058
Aah!
501
00:26:32,091 --> 00:26:34,661
(grunts) Oh!
502
00:26:34,694 --> 00:26:38,665
Are you OK?
Sure, I just forgot
to untether. Heh-heh.
503
00:26:38,698 --> 00:26:41,267
I don't get out much. OK.
504
00:26:41,300 --> 00:26:43,102
Oh, where's my cell phone?
505
00:26:43,135 --> 00:26:45,872
Ah!
(beeps)
506
00:26:45,905 --> 00:26:47,940
OK.
OK.
507
00:26:47,974 --> 00:26:50,409
Let's go.
Wait a second.
508
00:26:50,442 --> 00:26:52,411
That's your cell phone?
Yeah.
509
00:26:52,444 --> 00:26:55,014
Interesting.
What do these do?
510
00:26:55,047 --> 00:26:57,383
(squeaking)
Nothing.
They're my nipples.
511
00:27:00,219 --> 00:27:01,988
(moans)
512
00:27:03,389 --> 00:27:05,024
(yells)
513
00:27:06,425 --> 00:27:09,161
I feel dirty!
514
00:27:09,195 --> 00:27:12,198
What a weirdo.
515
00:27:12,231 --> 00:27:13,700
(hoots)
516
00:27:13,733 --> 00:27:15,267
(animals yelping)
517
00:27:19,105 --> 00:27:21,240
This creepy forest
goes on forever.
518
00:27:21,273 --> 00:27:22,942
(all) You can say that again.
519
00:27:22,975 --> 00:27:25,444
Anyone know how much further?
My feet are killing me.
520
00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:29,081
I gotta sit down.
(Toto) Sí, me too.
Scoot over.
521
00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:32,118
(Tin Thing) Oh, boy.
522
00:27:32,151 --> 00:27:36,022
These shoes may be magical,
but they're not so comfortable.
523
00:27:36,055 --> 00:27:38,157
Sí, they can put a trailer
in Munchkinland
524
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:40,059
but they can't make
a magic shoe
that's comfortable.
525
00:27:40,092 --> 00:27:41,828
Go figure.
526
00:27:41,861 --> 00:27:43,963
(log) Ouch!
527
00:27:43,996 --> 00:27:47,466
This place is crazy.
Even the logs talk.
528
00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:50,069
Hmm?
529
00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:53,305
Uh, Dorothy?
Yeah?
530
00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:55,842
What is...?
531
00:27:55,875 --> 00:27:58,044
What do you...?
Lion?
Shrimp?
532
00:27:58,077 --> 00:28:00,146
No, prawn.
Oh, prawn.
533
00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:01,814
(both scream)
534
00:28:01,848 --> 00:28:03,249
Toto!
535
00:28:03,282 --> 00:28:05,017
(continue screaming)
536
00:28:07,353 --> 00:28:10,256
(Lion) Get... off...
OK.
537
00:28:10,289 --> 00:28:12,024
...my... tail!
Oh! OK!
538
00:28:12,058 --> 00:28:14,160
(screaming)
539
00:28:14,193 --> 00:28:15,327
Hey!
540
00:28:15,361 --> 00:28:17,096
Get your paws off my prawn!
541
00:28:20,299 --> 00:28:22,802
Please don't hit me.
Take anything you want.
542
00:28:22,835 --> 00:28:25,404
Here, my wallet.
It's Velcro. Take it.
543
00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:31,243
Well, look at you.
You're nothing
but a big coward.
544
00:28:31,277 --> 00:28:34,246
So are you going
to eat me or not?
545
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:38,017
Eat you?
Why would we do that?
Don't you work for...
546
00:28:38,050 --> 00:28:40,252
She Who Must Not Be Named?
547
00:28:41,921 --> 00:28:44,290
Who?
Oh! You mean the Wicked
Witch of the West?
548
00:28:44,323 --> 00:28:45,958
No, we don't even like her.
549
00:28:45,992 --> 00:28:50,863
B-b-b-because we love her
so much! Ha-ha-ha-ha.
550
00:28:50,897 --> 00:28:53,933
Are you crazy?
The Wicked Witch of the West
has spies everywhere.
551
00:28:53,966 --> 00:28:58,237
The trees, the shrubs,
the owls, the bunnies.
552
00:28:58,270 --> 00:29:01,941
Evil, savage bunnies.
553
00:29:01,974 --> 00:29:04,110
(sinister laughter)
554
00:29:06,412 --> 00:29:09,048
(Dorothy) You're king
of the beasts.
555
00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:10,917
If some critter
gives you attitude,
all you gotta do is
556
00:29:10,950 --> 00:29:13,920
let out a big roar.
(both) Yeah.
557
00:29:13,953 --> 00:29:16,856
But I don't want to scare
anyone. I just want
to make people laugh.
558
00:29:16,889 --> 00:29:19,225
Yeah. Kill 'em with comedy -
that's my motto.
559
00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:22,328
I dream of one day being Oz's
greatest stand-up comedian.
560
00:29:22,361 --> 00:29:24,463
Well, you ever play
Emerald City?
561
00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:27,299
I've never played, period.
I've got stage fright.
562
00:29:27,333 --> 00:29:29,802
OK. Tell us a joke now.
563
00:29:29,836 --> 00:29:32,138
There's no stage.
Yeah, go ahead.
564
00:29:32,171 --> 00:29:34,140
No, I can't...
Come on.
565
00:29:34,173 --> 00:29:36,475
OK. I can do this. Um...
566
00:29:36,508 --> 00:29:38,110
(drumroll)
567
00:29:38,144 --> 00:29:40,813
Wacka, wacka, wacka!
568
00:29:40,847 --> 00:29:42,348
Hey, there.
Thanks for coming tonight.
569
00:29:42,381 --> 00:29:44,350
So, what's the deal
with the wizard?
570
00:29:44,383 --> 00:29:48,054
For someone so wonderful,
he certainly doesn't know
how to...
571
00:29:48,087 --> 00:29:49,321
(stammers)
572
00:29:49,355 --> 00:29:51,824
S-s-sorry.
Performance anxiety.
573
00:29:51,858 --> 00:29:54,560
(gasps for air)
574
00:29:54,593 --> 00:29:56,829
Hey, you know,
we're on our way
to Emerald City
575
00:29:56,863 --> 00:29:58,965
to ask the wizard
for some help.
(Scarecrow) Mm-hmm.
576
00:29:58,998 --> 00:30:01,333
Maybe he can give you
some courage.
Courage?
577
00:30:01,367 --> 00:30:04,436
Gosh, that sounds...
scary.
578
00:30:04,470 --> 00:30:07,339
Oh, don't worry.
It'll be OK.
579
00:30:07,373 --> 00:30:10,877
Yeah, I mean, so you're not
so brave. I'm not so smart.
580
00:30:10,910 --> 00:30:13,112
And I'm so empty inside,
I could cry.
581
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:15,314
Sí, and I'm so gosh-darn sexy,
it hurts.
582
00:30:15,347 --> 00:30:16,916
See, we all have our issues.
583
00:30:16,949 --> 00:30:19,385
But we're working 'em out...
together.
Yeah.
584
00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:22,254
Right. I mean,
what are friends for?
585
00:30:22,288 --> 00:30:24,390
* Where my brain should be
586
00:30:24,423 --> 00:30:26,625
* There's a cavity
587
00:30:26,658 --> 00:30:28,895
* Where most folks
have hearts
588
00:30:28,928 --> 00:30:31,397
* I've got old spare parts
589
00:30:33,499 --> 00:30:35,634
* Now I'm on my own
590
00:30:35,667 --> 00:30:40,472
* In the great unknown
591
00:30:40,506 --> 00:30:44,176
* And it's more than
one person can bear
592
00:30:44,210 --> 00:30:46,578
Bear?
Ah! Where?
593
00:30:46,612 --> 00:30:50,082
* Well, now I've got
some smart new partners
594
00:30:50,116 --> 00:30:53,986
* Who can help me
think things through
595
00:30:54,020 --> 00:30:56,455
* Folks say I'm just
a hick on a stick
596
00:30:56,488 --> 00:30:58,557
* Well, that may be true
Sí, it's true.
597
00:30:58,590 --> 00:31:01,560
* But when my stuffing's
not enough
598
00:31:01,593 --> 00:31:05,531
* I know just what I should
do-la-dee-doo
599
00:31:05,564 --> 00:31:08,100
* See, I don't miss
the brains I'm missing
600
00:31:08,134 --> 00:31:11,370
* When I'm with you
601
00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:14,406
* I used to be
romance compatible
602
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:17,509
* I wrote sonnets
and waltzes and more
603
00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:20,446
* But now that my heart
is mechanical
604
00:31:20,479 --> 00:31:23,515
* It only beats
four-on-the-floor
605
00:31:23,549 --> 00:31:25,617
(Tin Thing makes
drumming noise)
(Lion) Oh, nice!
606
00:31:25,651 --> 00:31:29,188
* But you've got friends
to stand beside you
607
00:31:29,221 --> 00:31:32,191
* And we'll reboot
your old CPU
608
00:31:32,224 --> 00:31:35,127
* Wow! I don't miss
the heart I'm missing
609
00:31:35,161 --> 00:31:38,630
* When I'm with you
610
00:31:38,664 --> 00:31:41,500
* I wish my stage fright
weren't so terrible
611
00:31:41,533 --> 00:31:44,503
* My jokes never garner a roar
612
00:31:44,536 --> 00:31:47,639
* With us you can try
new material
613
00:31:47,673 --> 00:31:53,412
* You see,
that's what friends are for
614
00:31:53,445 --> 00:31:56,515
* Now you can sleep
without a night-light
615
00:31:56,548 --> 00:31:58,150
* And forget every...
616
00:31:58,184 --> 00:32:00,019
* Creak, bang and boo!
617
00:32:00,052 --> 00:32:02,554
* Hey! I don't miss
the spine I'm missing
618
00:32:02,588 --> 00:32:05,657
* When I'm with you
619
00:32:05,691 --> 00:32:09,161
* Still we've got
something great together
620
00:32:09,195 --> 00:32:12,498
* So let's all get up and go
621
00:32:12,531 --> 00:32:14,233
* We'll overachieve
622
00:32:14,266 --> 00:32:15,968
* Wear our hearts on our sleeves
623
00:32:16,002 --> 00:32:18,604
* Get on with the show
624
00:32:18,637 --> 00:32:21,974
* Now we are
in the right direction
625
00:32:22,008 --> 00:32:25,311
* And I see all our dreams
coming true
626
00:32:25,344 --> 00:32:28,547
* Yes, anything is possible
627
00:32:28,580 --> 00:32:31,317
* When I'm with you
628
00:32:31,350 --> 00:32:34,320
* I'm just so sexy!
Wow, a shrimp
that shimmies!
629
00:32:34,353 --> 00:32:37,389
* Our act's unfloppable
* Troubles are hoppable
630
00:32:37,423 --> 00:32:40,526
* It's all so logical
* We'll be unstoppable
631
00:32:40,559 --> 00:32:43,195
* Cashmere is washable
* Anything is possible
632
00:32:43,229 --> 00:32:45,131
* When I'm
633
00:32:45,164 --> 00:32:49,768
* With you
634
00:32:49,801 --> 00:32:51,570
* I'm with you
635
00:32:53,205 --> 00:32:55,074
* I'm with you
636
00:32:56,208 --> 00:32:59,345
* I'm with you
637
00:32:59,378 --> 00:33:01,280
* I'm with...
638
00:33:02,581 --> 00:33:05,151
* You
639
00:33:05,184 --> 00:33:07,086
Great!
Let's go!
640
00:33:07,119 --> 00:33:08,754
(Dorothy) Come on, guys.
(Toto) Let's get rich,
come on!
641
00:33:08,787 --> 00:33:10,156
(Tin Thing)
Come on, Dorothy!
642
00:33:12,624 --> 00:33:15,127
It's dark.
643
00:33:15,161 --> 00:33:17,096
Anybody got a night-light?
644
00:33:17,129 --> 00:33:18,397
(all gasp)
645
00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:25,804
Just to let you know,
nothing scares me
more than heights.
646
00:33:25,837 --> 00:33:28,574
(laughter)
647
00:33:28,607 --> 00:33:30,309
(Tin Thing) There's a pair
of vicious Kalidah Critics.
648
00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,111
Very rare in these parts.
649
00:33:32,144 --> 00:33:36,648
Those monstrous beasts
just love to rip performers
to shreds.
650
00:33:36,682 --> 00:33:39,551
Really? How?
651
00:33:39,585 --> 00:33:41,687
They do it with their...
(gulps)
652
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,522
words.
653
00:33:43,555 --> 00:33:46,558
So, all we gotta do is
ignore their words
654
00:33:46,592 --> 00:33:48,727
and keep our balance
all the way to other side.
655
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,163
That's right.
What?
656
00:33:51,197 --> 00:33:52,698
What are you...?
657
00:33:52,731 --> 00:33:54,766
You're going to cross?
Follow me.
658
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:56,635
Dorothy, don't.
You're going to cross?
659
00:33:56,668 --> 00:33:58,637
(critic) You're gonna
fall off!
You're gonna fall!
660
00:33:58,670 --> 00:34:02,541
You're gonna fall!
It's a long way down!
661
00:34:02,574 --> 00:34:05,611
Hey, that's Dorothy Gale,
the new overnight sensation.
662
00:34:05,644 --> 00:34:07,146
She's really killing 'em
in Munchkinland.
663
00:34:07,179 --> 00:34:09,215
Just ask the Wicked Witch
of the East.
664
00:34:09,248 --> 00:34:11,750
I hear she's really
bringing down the houses.
665
00:34:11,783 --> 00:34:15,221
(Tin Thing) Shut up!
Dorothy. Concentrate, Dorothy.
666
00:34:15,254 --> 00:34:17,756
She made it!
Whoo!
667
00:34:17,789 --> 00:34:19,358
All right, let's go.
668
00:34:19,391 --> 00:34:21,627
You go first.
OK. You go next.
669
00:34:21,660 --> 00:34:23,662
(critic) I hear
it's lonely at the top.
(critic #2) Yeah.
670
00:34:23,695 --> 00:34:26,298
Wait till
he hits the bottom.
671
00:34:26,332 --> 00:34:28,267
I did it, OK.
That was easy for me.
672
00:34:28,300 --> 00:34:30,102
(Tin Thing) That's it,
that's it.
673
00:34:30,136 --> 00:34:32,438
One things for sure about
playing the Kalidah Bridge.
674
00:34:32,471 --> 00:34:35,307
You're sure to make
a big splash!
675
00:34:35,341 --> 00:34:38,310
It's not that far down,
anyway.
676
00:34:38,344 --> 00:34:40,712
We made it! We made it!
677
00:34:40,746 --> 00:34:44,283
OK, come on there, Lion.
Come on, Lion.
678
00:34:44,316 --> 00:34:47,519
Nice log.
(critic) Be careful -
it's slippery up there!
679
00:34:47,553 --> 00:34:49,855
Ooh, I feel a wind
coming on!
680
00:34:49,888 --> 00:34:52,858
Oh, there's Lion.
He thinks he's a comedian.
681
00:34:52,891 --> 00:34:54,860
Yeah, but his jokes
bomb so badly,
682
00:34:54,893 --> 00:34:57,896
the army tried
to put a fuse on him!
683
00:34:57,929 --> 00:35:00,699
Whoa, whoa! Ahh...
684
00:35:03,269 --> 00:35:05,304
You know, there are
two reasons why I don't
like Lion's jokes.
685
00:35:05,337 --> 00:35:08,274
What are they?
My ears.
686
00:35:08,307 --> 00:35:11,377
I can't do it. I can't do it!
I can't do it, guys.
I can't move!
687
00:35:11,410 --> 00:35:15,381
Ignore them.
What they're saying
has nothing to do with you.
688
00:35:15,414 --> 00:35:18,284
What? Unless there's another
lion up here on this log,
689
00:35:18,317 --> 00:35:19,851
I think they're talking to me.
690
00:35:19,885 --> 00:35:22,521
I just think he needs
a little help. I'm going up.
691
00:35:22,554 --> 00:35:24,890
Be careful.
Come on.
692
00:35:24,923 --> 00:35:28,160
(critic) Yeah, your jokes
are no good!
(critic #2) You're not funny!
693
00:35:28,194 --> 00:35:30,462
Pay no attention
to your critics.
694
00:35:30,496 --> 00:35:32,331
It's gonna be one step
at a time, OK?
695
00:35:32,364 --> 00:35:36,302
Now take my hand.
Put your tail down.
696
00:35:36,335 --> 00:35:39,371
Calm yourself.
Now take my hand, come on.
697
00:35:39,405 --> 00:35:41,773
That's it. Now we're
just gonna walk off.
698
00:35:41,807 --> 00:35:43,942
Come on. We're just walking.
Hang on!
699
00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,345
That's it. Steady.
You can do it!
You can do it!
700
00:35:46,378 --> 00:35:48,614
You're all right.
Come on, you've got it.
701
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:50,849
You've got it. Yes!
702
00:35:54,386 --> 00:35:57,489
Oh, thank you, Tin Thing.
703
00:35:57,523 --> 00:35:59,725
Come on, guys.
Let's go.
704
00:35:59,758 --> 00:36:02,294
Go on, get out of here!
705
00:36:02,328 --> 00:36:05,564
Yeah, you'll still
never make it
to where you're going.
706
00:36:05,597 --> 00:36:08,734
Good work, Lion.
Wasn't he great, guys?
707
00:36:08,767 --> 00:36:10,336
He sure was.
I don't know.
708
00:36:10,369 --> 00:36:11,837
Hey, what's that, guys?
709
00:36:14,806 --> 00:36:16,475
"Poppyfields."
What's that?
710
00:36:19,245 --> 00:36:22,281
Poppyfields? Well, it's only
the coolest club in Oz, baby.
711
00:36:22,314 --> 00:36:24,450
This day has been
kind of crazy.
712
00:36:24,483 --> 00:36:26,385
It wouldn't hurt to stop
and have a little fun.
713
00:36:26,418 --> 00:36:30,622
A little fun?
Get ready to have the time
of your life, girl.
714
00:36:30,656 --> 00:36:33,525
Come on, Dorothy.
Let's get inside before
this place is no longer cool.
715
00:36:33,559 --> 00:36:35,461
Yeah. After you.
716
00:36:35,494 --> 00:36:37,396
(* funky jazz)
717
00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:55,013
Heh-heh-heh.
All right now,
y'all follow me.
718
00:36:55,046 --> 00:36:56,915
I'll put you
in the best seats
in the house.
719
00:36:56,948 --> 00:36:59,217
Sounds great!
720
00:37:05,824 --> 00:37:08,594
* Nap time
721
00:37:08,627 --> 00:37:10,729
You know, I can't wait
till I get a brain
so I can understand
722
00:37:10,762 --> 00:37:12,864
what's fun about hanging out
at trendy nightclubs.
723
00:37:12,898 --> 00:37:15,000
Yeah. What's the deal with
all these poppies anyway?
724
00:37:15,033 --> 00:37:17,569
Whoa.
Wait, here comes a fact.
725
00:37:17,603 --> 00:37:20,939
According to my database,
the poppy has a powerful
sleep-inducing effect.
726
00:37:20,972 --> 00:37:23,375
Sleep-inducing effect?
Oh, that's silly.
727
00:37:23,409 --> 00:37:25,010
How could a little
flower...?
728
00:37:25,043 --> 00:37:27,579
(snores)
729
00:37:27,613 --> 00:37:29,815
(Tin Thing) Lion?
(Scarecrow) Lion, are you OK?
730
00:37:29,848 --> 00:37:32,451
Lion?
Is he all right?
731
00:37:32,484 --> 00:37:35,287
He's fine. You know what?
732
00:37:35,321 --> 00:37:37,689
We don't need to go
to Emerald City.
733
00:37:37,723 --> 00:37:41,493
We should just stay here
at Poppyfields,
734
00:37:41,527 --> 00:37:44,496
where it's so... relaxing.
735
00:37:46,432 --> 00:37:47,733
Dorothy!
Dorothy!
736
00:37:47,766 --> 00:37:50,636
Dorothy.
Dorothy, wake up.
737
00:37:50,669 --> 00:37:53,839
Dorothy! Lion!
Why won't they wake up?
738
00:37:53,872 --> 00:37:56,642
Why won't they wake up?
I don't know!
739
00:37:56,675 --> 00:38:00,612
You know, the bathrooms here
are so comfortable, OK.
740
00:38:00,646 --> 00:38:03,014
(yawns)
741
00:38:03,048 --> 00:38:05,351
It's the poppies.
Come on, let's get Toto
out of here
742
00:38:05,384 --> 00:38:07,018
and then we can figure out
what to do about Dorothy
and Lion.
743
00:38:07,052 --> 00:38:09,721
OK.
744
00:38:09,755 --> 00:38:11,890
Come on.
You grab that arm
right there.
745
00:38:11,923 --> 00:38:15,327
Nap time.
746
00:38:15,361 --> 00:38:17,696
Ooh, I'm so sleepy, OK.
747
00:38:17,729 --> 00:38:19,798
If something happens
to Dorothy,
748
00:38:19,831 --> 00:38:21,833
I don't think I'll ever be
able to forgive myself.
749
00:38:21,867 --> 00:38:25,604
I know, but we can't
carry them out of there.
We have to think.
750
00:38:25,637 --> 00:38:27,539
Oh, rats! I'm no good
at thinking.
751
00:38:27,573 --> 00:38:29,908
Whoo, rats!
Rats in hats.
752
00:38:29,941 --> 00:38:33,379
What?
They said they could...
could help us.
753
00:38:33,412 --> 00:38:34,913
Wait! How? How?
How?
754
00:38:34,946 --> 00:38:37,015
By singing the song.
What?
755
00:38:37,048 --> 00:38:39,785
You know, it goes...
756
00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:41,553
Wait! Sing the song!
How does the song go?
757
00:38:41,587 --> 00:38:42,921
* Calling all Munchkins
758
00:38:42,954 --> 00:38:44,456
* Let's do lunchkins
Yeah?
759
00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:46,992
* All for one
and one for all
760
00:38:47,025 --> 00:38:48,494
* Come on...
761
00:38:48,527 --> 00:38:49,928
Come on, finish it!
Come on, come on!
762
00:38:49,961 --> 00:38:52,130
* Munchkins take our...
763
00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:53,565
What? What?
764
00:38:53,599 --> 00:38:54,966
* ...call
765
00:38:55,000 --> 00:38:57,736
Somebody page me?
766
00:38:57,769 --> 00:39:00,672
Dorothy's in trouble.
Poppy exposure.
767
00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:03,642
Poppies? Rats!
Munchkins, fall in!
768
00:39:03,675 --> 00:39:05,477
We've got a girl to save.
769
00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:09,481
(all) Sir, yes, sir!
770
00:39:09,515 --> 00:39:10,816
Sergeant Bubba.
771
00:39:10,849 --> 00:39:13,585
Company, heel!
772
00:39:13,619 --> 00:39:16,021
Nice.
773
00:39:16,054 --> 00:39:18,824
All right, troops,
Operation Gingham's a go!
774
00:39:18,857 --> 00:39:20,926
(chattering)
775
00:39:20,959 --> 00:39:23,395
(muffled)
776
00:39:30,001 --> 00:39:31,837
* Nap time
777
00:39:36,675 --> 00:39:38,810
(Munchkins chant) Hut, hut,
hut, hut, hut, hut, hut, hut,
778
00:39:38,844 --> 00:39:40,912
hut, hut, hut, hut,
hut, hut, hut, hut,
779
00:39:40,946 --> 00:39:43,749
hut, hut, hut, hut,
hut, hut, hut, hut, hut.
780
00:39:43,782 --> 00:39:46,485
(* all sing muffled
military cadence)
781
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:52,924
* Nap time
782
00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:55,594
Oh, Dorothy, please don't
be hurt. Wake up!
783
00:39:55,627 --> 00:39:57,663
OK, out of the way, peoples.
Out of the way.
784
00:39:57,696 --> 00:39:59,598
It's time for Toto to give
the mouth-to-mouth.
785
00:39:59,631 --> 00:40:01,767
I'll get the Dorothy,
you get the lion, OK.
786
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:05,103
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
I have a better idea.
787
00:40:05,136 --> 00:40:07,506
Charging!
788
00:40:07,539 --> 00:40:09,541
And clear!
(beeping and buzzing)
789
00:40:12,978 --> 00:40:14,546
I'm up.
I'm totally up!
790
00:40:14,580 --> 00:40:17,916
All right, she's alive.
What happened?
791
00:40:17,949 --> 00:40:21,553
Well, it's lucky for you
the Munchkins showed up.
792
00:40:21,587 --> 00:40:23,889
Thanks. I don't know
what came over me.
793
00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:28,026
I'd say about maybe
20,000 volts there, Medusa.
794
00:40:28,059 --> 00:40:30,095
(yawns)
795
00:40:30,128 --> 00:40:31,897
Oh, big cat waking up, boys.
Time to go.
796
00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:34,032
Good luck in Emerald City
there, Giant Girl.
797
00:40:34,065 --> 00:40:37,002
(smacks lips)
798
00:40:37,035 --> 00:40:38,670
What'd I miss?
799
00:40:38,704 --> 00:40:40,939
Aah!
800
00:40:40,972 --> 00:40:43,675
(laughs)
801
00:40:43,709 --> 00:40:45,544
Very funny, guys.
802
00:40:45,577 --> 00:40:47,479
Next time you could at least
tell me about my...
803
00:40:47,513 --> 00:40:49,748
(gasps)
804
00:40:49,781 --> 00:40:52,450
(Tin Thing) Emerald City!
Look at it!
805
00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:56,888
It's so beautiful!
806
00:40:56,922 --> 00:40:58,890
And yet so terrifying
all at the same time.
807
00:40:58,924 --> 00:41:01,860
Heh-heh.
808
00:41:01,893 --> 00:41:03,695
Wow.
809
00:41:06,064 --> 00:41:10,001
Well, this is the place.
Whoa!
810
00:41:10,035 --> 00:41:13,872
We made it, Dorothy.
Your dream's about
to come true.
811
00:41:13,905 --> 00:41:16,575
OK, we agree now
812
00:41:16,608 --> 00:41:21,580
what happens in Emerald City
stays in Emerald City, OK.
813
00:41:21,613 --> 00:41:24,616
(door opening)
814
00:41:44,936 --> 00:41:46,705
Can I help you?
815
00:41:46,738 --> 00:41:49,007
Hi. I'm Dorothy Gale,
816
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,277
and we traveled all the way
across Oz to see the wizard.
817
00:41:52,310 --> 00:41:56,181
Hmm...
Dorothy Gale. Hmm...
818
00:41:56,214 --> 00:41:58,283
Nope. Not on the list.
819
00:41:58,316 --> 00:42:00,285
Are you sure? Check again.
820
00:42:02,588 --> 00:42:05,624
And who are you?
821
00:42:05,657 --> 00:42:07,626
We're friends
of Dorothy.
Right.
822
00:42:07,659 --> 00:42:11,663
Well, she's not on the list,
so go away.
823
00:42:11,697 --> 00:42:13,131
Uh...
824
00:42:13,164 --> 00:42:15,601
Hold on a minute, big bird.
Come here. Listen, listen.
825
00:42:15,634 --> 00:42:18,570
(guard) Huh.
(whispering)
826
00:42:18,604 --> 00:42:20,105
Mm-hmm. Oh!
827
00:42:20,138 --> 00:42:24,209
Flattened by a double-wide?
Oh! Oh! Oh!
828
00:42:24,242 --> 00:42:27,746
We don't want any trouble.
Um...
829
00:42:27,779 --> 00:42:29,815
Oh, there's just been
a cancellation.
830
00:42:29,848 --> 00:42:31,349
You may go in.
831
00:42:31,382 --> 00:42:34,552
Oh, great!
(guard) Door!
832
00:43:07,352 --> 00:43:09,120
Weirdoes...
(muffled whispering)
833
00:43:09,154 --> 00:43:11,389
Gale... (muffled whispering)
double-wide...
834
00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:13,158
(clears throat)
835
00:43:13,191 --> 00:43:15,293
They're all yours, sir.
836
00:43:17,963 --> 00:43:21,366
Hello!
Wait.
You're the Wizard of Oz?
837
00:43:21,399 --> 00:43:26,337
Oh, no. I'm not the wizard.
I'm Scooter.
838
00:43:26,371 --> 00:43:29,140
First assistant
to the big man.
839
00:43:29,174 --> 00:43:31,209
Welcome, Dorothy.
840
00:43:31,242 --> 00:43:33,679
Why, we've heard
a lot about you.
841
00:43:33,712 --> 00:43:36,081
You're all anyone's
talking about.
Ah!
842
00:43:36,114 --> 00:43:38,416
Really?
Great! That's terrific!
843
00:43:38,449 --> 00:43:42,053
Yeah, but before
the wizard can turn you
into an overnight sensation,
844
00:43:42,087 --> 00:43:44,656
there are certain precautions
that have to be taken.
845
00:43:44,690 --> 00:43:48,126
Precautions?
Yup. Follow me.
Come on.
846
00:43:48,159 --> 00:43:49,327
Let's go.
Follow him.
847
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:52,163
OK, here we are.
Come on in.
848
00:43:52,197 --> 00:43:55,767
Oh, welcome to Emerald City,
where the place is so bright,
849
00:43:55,801 --> 00:43:59,104
you've got to wear shades
or your eyeballs will fry
like a couple of eggs.
850
00:43:59,137 --> 00:44:01,840
(meeping)
851
00:44:01,873 --> 00:44:03,875
This spotlight here
duplicates the brilliance
of the wizard
852
00:44:03,909 --> 00:44:06,211
and his radiant wonderfulness.
Radiant wonderfulness.
853
00:44:06,244 --> 00:44:09,414
Radiant wonderfulness.
854
00:44:09,447 --> 00:44:12,751
As you can see, thanks
to my patented lenses,
855
00:44:12,784 --> 00:44:14,686
Beaker's retinas
remain uncooked.
856
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:16,822
(meeping)
857
00:44:16,855 --> 00:44:18,890
(meeps)
858
00:44:18,924 --> 00:44:21,159
And they will still
protect his eyes
859
00:44:21,192 --> 00:44:22,694
even when the intensity
is doubled.
860
00:44:22,728 --> 00:44:24,796
(meeps and yelps)
861
00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:28,466
Good grief!
862
00:44:28,499 --> 00:44:30,969
(scientist) OK, give me
the glasses.
863
00:44:33,171 --> 00:44:36,842
(pop)
(all gasp)
864
00:44:36,875 --> 00:44:39,845
So, do we get
to see the wizard now?
865
00:44:39,878 --> 00:44:42,413
Oh, well, if you want
to be the next big thing,
866
00:44:42,447 --> 00:44:45,050
you've got to look the part.
867
00:44:45,083 --> 00:44:49,087
Welcome to Emerald City's
Magical Makeover Machine.
868
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,289
Oh, wow.
869
00:44:51,322 --> 00:44:54,025
You want me
to go in there?
Absolutely.
870
00:44:54,059 --> 00:44:56,227
No way! You just fried
that guy's head off.
871
00:44:56,261 --> 00:44:58,196
(whimpering)
872
00:45:02,100 --> 00:45:04,736
Well, you can't go
see the wizard looking
like that.
873
00:45:04,770 --> 00:45:07,739
I mean, what is that,
a tablecloth?
Check, please.
874
00:45:07,773 --> 00:45:10,475
(laughing)
875
00:45:10,508 --> 00:45:12,944
(all stop laughing)
876
00:45:14,813 --> 00:45:17,182
Fine. I'll get in
your makeover machine.
877
00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:22,720
She's in.
878
00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:28,960
(Dorothy) Hey! What is that?
879
00:45:28,994 --> 00:45:30,929
Ow!
880
00:45:30,962 --> 00:45:32,898
Hey!
881
00:45:40,171 --> 00:45:42,240
This is cool.
I can work with this.
882
00:45:42,273 --> 00:45:44,009
Look! You've been reborn!
883
00:45:44,042 --> 00:45:47,913
Correction -
you've been Osbourne!
(Scooter laughs)
884
00:45:47,946 --> 00:45:49,948
Good one.
So, what do you guys think?
885
00:45:49,981 --> 00:45:53,251
Uh, well...
It's really nice.
It's nice.
886
00:45:53,284 --> 00:45:55,453
Different.
Sí, sí.
887
00:45:55,486 --> 00:45:59,090
But you know, this is
the Kelly Osbourne thing
I think that you're doing,
888
00:45:59,124 --> 00:46:01,259
but I think we all thought
you were going for more of
889
00:46:01,292 --> 00:46:04,295
the hot and sexy
Ashanti thing.
890
00:46:04,329 --> 00:46:06,832
Ashanti.
Ashanti, yeah.
891
00:46:06,865 --> 00:46:09,334
Fine. I'll get back
in your stupid machine.
892
00:46:25,250 --> 00:46:26,852
(wolf whistle)
893
00:46:26,885 --> 00:46:28,019
Oh!
894
00:46:28,053 --> 00:46:30,989
Now you're talking, baby!
Beautiful!
895
00:46:31,022 --> 00:46:33,959
What do you think?
Oh, my!
896
00:46:36,928 --> 00:46:39,164
She's ready to see
the wizard now.
897
00:46:39,197 --> 00:46:42,133
Come on! Follow me!
Come on!
898
00:46:42,167 --> 00:46:44,535
All right.
OK. Walk this way.
Come on.
899
00:46:44,569 --> 00:46:47,105
Fabulous.
Wow.
900
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:49,440
(man) Who are those
who seek an audience
901
00:46:49,474 --> 00:46:51,576
with the all-powerful
Wizard of Oz?
902
00:46:51,609 --> 00:46:54,212
First, bring in the lion.
903
00:46:54,245 --> 00:46:57,248
The lion?
Wait. Stop. Hold on.
904
00:46:57,282 --> 00:47:00,886
Wait, wait, wait!
You heard him, Lion.
You gotta go in first now.
905
00:47:15,300 --> 00:47:18,536
It's gonna be OK.
It's gonna be OK.
906
00:47:21,272 --> 00:47:25,610
A wave of relaxation is flowing
throughout your body.
907
00:47:25,643 --> 00:47:28,113
A feeling of peace and...
908
00:47:30,015 --> 00:47:32,183
Don't wet the floor!
Don't wet the floor!
909
00:47:32,217 --> 00:47:35,486
Scooter, is there
a bathroom?
(door locks and Lion wails)
910
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,455
Scooter?
911
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:43,294
(Lion gasps)
912
00:47:47,665 --> 00:47:51,202
I am Oz,
the great and terrible.
913
00:47:51,236 --> 00:47:55,073
Who are you,
and why do you seek me?
914
00:47:55,106 --> 00:47:56,407
I... I...
915
00:47:56,441 --> 00:47:59,477
I wanna be a stand-up comedian.
916
00:47:59,510 --> 00:48:01,612
Really?
Yes, sir.
917
00:48:01,646 --> 00:48:03,982
Well, then, tell me a joke.
918
00:48:04,015 --> 00:48:06,551
No, I-I-I can't do that.
919
00:48:06,584 --> 00:48:09,320
I... I...
I have stage fright.
920
00:48:09,354 --> 00:48:11,222
I kind of lack courage
in general, actually.
921
00:48:11,256 --> 00:48:14,960
Tell me a joke now!
922
00:48:14,993 --> 00:48:17,628
Aah! Why did the Wicked Witch
throw a clock out the window
to see time fly?
923
00:48:17,662 --> 00:48:21,166
No, wait, stop.
I mean, when the witch
had a clock and she threw it...
924
00:48:21,199 --> 00:48:24,269
Aah! Wacka, wacka!
925
00:48:24,302 --> 00:48:27,372
(sinister laugh)
926
00:48:27,405 --> 00:48:28,339
Next.
927
00:48:36,982 --> 00:48:41,219
I am Oz,
the great and terrible.
928
00:48:41,252 --> 00:48:42,620
What do you want?
929
00:48:42,653 --> 00:48:45,957
(whimpers)
Hi, there, Mr. Oz. Um...
930
00:48:45,991 --> 00:48:47,993
Are you, by chance,
any relation to Frank Oz?
931
00:48:50,428 --> 00:48:51,997
Aah!
932
00:48:52,030 --> 00:48:55,266
I'll, uh, I'll take that
as a no. Uh...
933
00:48:55,300 --> 00:48:59,304
Well, I'm here because I wanna
ask you for a... I, uh...
934
00:48:59,337 --> 00:49:02,140
Hurry up, brainless.
Oh! Oh!
935
00:49:02,173 --> 00:49:04,642
Yes, yes. A brain.
That's right, a brain.
936
00:49:04,675 --> 00:49:08,379
I'd really love
to have a brain. Uh...
937
00:49:08,413 --> 00:49:12,117
For my head.
You know, the old noggin.
938
00:49:12,150 --> 00:49:13,518
You're fired.
939
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:17,422
Aah!
940
00:49:17,455 --> 00:49:21,126
(laughing)
941
00:49:21,159 --> 00:49:22,227
Next.
942
00:49:27,698 --> 00:49:31,636
Well, hello.
What is it you're looking for,
943
00:49:31,669 --> 00:49:36,241
tin, dark and handsome?
944
00:49:36,274 --> 00:49:38,509
Actually, I'm here looking
for a heart.
945
00:49:38,543 --> 00:49:42,080
Oh, a heart.
(giggles)
946
00:49:48,386 --> 00:49:51,556
Are you sure
there isn't anything else
I can do you for?
947
00:49:51,589 --> 00:49:53,524
No, no, no. You see,
I already have a girlfriend.
948
00:49:53,558 --> 00:49:57,162
She's a chicken.
Oh, a chicken, eh?
949
00:49:57,195 --> 00:49:59,664
Yeah.
950
00:49:59,697 --> 00:50:03,568
Well, does she have
a big beak like this?
951
00:50:03,601 --> 00:50:05,203
How did you know?
952
00:50:05,236 --> 00:50:09,707
And does she have
huge floppy wings like this?
953
00:50:09,740 --> 00:50:14,079
Look at the size of those wings.
No, no, no, no, no.
954
00:50:14,112 --> 00:50:16,447
I'm not here for that.
Um... uh...
955
00:50:16,481 --> 00:50:20,017
I've just come here
to get a heart...
(clucking)
956
00:50:23,221 --> 00:50:25,323
Whoo! Is it hot in here,
or is it just me?
957
00:50:26,857 --> 00:50:28,293
Next!
958
00:50:30,695 --> 00:50:32,463
(screams)
959
00:50:34,565 --> 00:50:36,534
Bye-bye.
960
00:50:36,567 --> 00:50:39,637
That's it! What are you
doing with my fr--
961
00:50:39,670 --> 00:50:40,738
Whoa.
962
00:50:40,771 --> 00:50:43,808
What? No hello?
963
00:50:43,841 --> 00:50:48,213
Ooh! Aren't you the little girl
who wanted to be a big star?
964
00:50:48,246 --> 00:50:51,749
Yeah. I heard that you were
all-great and powerful,
965
00:50:51,782 --> 00:50:54,685
and I came all this way
and I was kind of sort of
hoping that maybe--
966
00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,322
Blah-dee-blah.
Let's just cut to the chase.
967
00:50:57,355 --> 00:50:59,724
I am prepared to give you
all your heart desires -
968
00:50:59,757 --> 00:51:02,827
fame, hit records,
969
00:51:02,860 --> 00:51:05,796
and a tabloid story
linking you romantically
970
00:51:05,830 --> 00:51:08,466
to the famous person
of your choice.
971
00:51:08,499 --> 00:51:11,402
Really? Oh, God.
So, what do I gotta do?
972
00:51:11,436 --> 00:51:14,339
Oh, nothing, really.
973
00:51:14,372 --> 00:51:20,545
Just bring me
the Wicked Witch
of the West's magic eye!
974
00:51:20,578 --> 00:51:23,248
Eye, eye...
975
00:51:23,281 --> 00:51:26,117
I'm sorry, the what?
976
00:51:26,151 --> 00:51:31,122
The Wicked Witch of the West's
magic eye! Eye...
977
00:51:31,156 --> 00:51:33,291
Um...
OK...
978
00:51:33,324 --> 00:51:35,160
the Wicked Witch of the West
has this magic eye
979
00:51:35,193 --> 00:51:36,894
that gives her the power
to see all in Oz.
980
00:51:36,927 --> 00:51:39,364
If you cross
the mountains of death,
981
00:51:39,397 --> 00:51:41,799
remove her eye
and bring it back to me,
982
00:51:41,832 --> 00:51:47,338
your wildest dreams
shall come true.
983
00:51:47,372 --> 00:51:50,175
What about my friends?
Brains, hearts,
984
00:51:50,208 --> 00:51:53,278
courage - done!
If you bring me the eye.
985
00:51:53,311 --> 00:51:56,281
Jeez, you need anything else
while we're there?
A kidney or...
986
00:51:56,314 --> 00:51:58,383
Silence!
987
00:51:58,416 --> 00:52:01,352
That's the deal on the table.
988
00:52:01,386 --> 00:52:04,522
Now be gone from my sight!
989
00:52:09,194 --> 00:52:12,663
Ooh. Ooh.
990
00:52:12,697 --> 00:52:15,366
Uh... (clears throat)
991
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:18,369
Um... This is embarrassing.
992
00:52:18,403 --> 00:52:22,740
Um... Would you mind, um...
993
00:52:22,773 --> 00:52:25,576
jumping?
994
00:52:26,877 --> 00:52:29,414
Uh... in there?
995
00:52:29,447 --> 00:52:33,184
Yeah. If you wouldn't mind.
996
00:52:33,218 --> 00:52:36,187
I guess.
997
00:52:36,221 --> 00:52:38,489
(screams)
998
00:52:38,523 --> 00:52:41,759
Excuse me. Are you busy?
999
00:52:41,792 --> 00:52:44,262
Uh... I thought
she'd never leave, OK.
1000
00:52:44,295 --> 00:52:48,399
So for me, I would like
a date with JLo, of course.
1001
00:52:48,433 --> 00:52:51,402
Nothing too serious.
Maybe a little something
between marriages.
1002
00:52:51,436 --> 00:52:52,703
(roars)
1003
00:52:52,737 --> 00:52:54,339
Aah!
1004
00:52:54,372 --> 00:52:55,873
(laughs)
1005
00:52:55,906 --> 00:52:57,375
(banging and screaming)
1006
00:52:57,408 --> 00:52:59,577
Do you guys hear
something?
Santa Maria!
1007
00:53:04,515 --> 00:53:06,917
Oh, dear.
Oh, gracias, gracias.
1008
00:53:06,951 --> 00:53:08,919
Hey, good news, everyone.
1009
00:53:08,953 --> 00:53:11,856
The wizard is going to grant
all our wishes, OK!
1010
00:53:11,889 --> 00:53:14,292
Yes!
Yes!
1011
00:53:14,325 --> 00:53:16,427
Yes, that's great!
Toto, I think
I should tell 'em...
1012
00:53:16,461 --> 00:53:19,664
And all we have to do is
cross the mountains of death,
1013
00:53:19,697 --> 00:53:22,567
poke out the Wicked Witch's eye
and give it to the wizard!
1014
00:53:28,473 --> 00:53:30,508
It could happen.
1015
00:53:32,377 --> 00:53:33,611
(wild dogs howling)
1016
00:53:33,644 --> 00:53:35,513
Stupid wizard.
1017
00:53:35,546 --> 00:53:38,583
Make us climb
the stupid mountains
to find the stupid witch.
1018
00:53:38,616 --> 00:53:41,919
Yeah! And I was very clear
about being a cowardly lion.
1019
00:53:41,952 --> 00:53:43,921
Mm-hmm.
1020
00:53:43,954 --> 00:53:45,756
I didn't know I'd have to
do something like this
1021
00:53:45,790 --> 00:53:47,892
to become a famous singer.
1022
00:53:47,925 --> 00:53:49,894
I'm starting to think
maybe being a star
1023
00:53:49,927 --> 00:53:51,696
isn't all
it's cracked up to be.
1024
00:53:51,729 --> 00:53:53,864
Wait a second.
Dorothy,
1025
00:53:53,898 --> 00:53:57,268
you know you'll always
be a star with us, right?
1026
00:53:57,302 --> 00:54:00,738
Thanks. I never thought
I'd say it, Scarecrow,
1027
00:54:00,771 --> 00:54:04,775
but Kansas never
looked so good.
1028
00:54:04,809 --> 00:54:08,313
I miss home.
I miss my family.
(sobbing)
1029
00:54:08,346 --> 00:54:10,315
OK, OK. Boo-hoo,
boo-hoo, OK.
1030
00:54:10,348 --> 00:54:14,385
I live in a stinking
algae-covered fishbowl
in a trailer park, OK.
1031
00:54:14,419 --> 00:54:15,920
We're going to poke
the witch in the eye.
1032
00:54:15,953 --> 00:54:19,324
End of story.
1033
00:54:19,357 --> 00:54:22,293
Wah, wah, wah.
Poor me, poor me.
You guys are pathetic, OK.
1034
00:54:24,762 --> 00:54:26,631
(Toto) Let's talk about
something else, OK?
1035
00:54:26,664 --> 00:54:29,600
'Cause there's an amazing
coincidence happening here.
1036
00:54:29,634 --> 00:54:32,970
It's incredible, really.
When you think about it,
it blows the mind.
1037
00:54:33,003 --> 00:54:36,607
Kansas - '80s band.
Toto - '80s band.
1038
00:54:36,641 --> 00:54:38,409
We're on a "Journey" -
'80s band.
1039
00:54:38,443 --> 00:54:41,078
(witch) What have we here?
Intruders?
1040
00:54:41,111 --> 00:54:44,081
...'80s band.
Oh, and when we
see the witch -
1041
00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:46,551
"Wham!" - '80s band, OK.
1042
00:54:46,584 --> 00:54:49,554
(witch) And what's this?
I can't believe
my own evil eye!
1043
00:54:49,587 --> 00:54:51,456
How did she get
the silver shoes?
1044
00:54:51,489 --> 00:54:53,858
I'm next in line to have 'em.
1045
00:54:53,891 --> 00:54:56,394
Sal...
1046
00:54:56,427 --> 00:54:58,663
Stupid dog.
Sal, you gotta be kidding me.
1047
00:54:58,696 --> 00:55:00,531
You're not done yet?
1048
00:55:00,565 --> 00:55:03,868
I'm sorry. Why can't we
just use regular water?
1049
00:55:03,901 --> 00:55:06,371
(gibbers)
1050
00:55:06,404 --> 00:55:09,607
All you need to know
is that the witch's
delicate diva pigskin
1051
00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:11,676
can only handle
the nice bottled stuff.
1052
00:55:11,709 --> 00:55:14,445
And, confidentially,
it ain't helping her.
1053
00:55:14,479 --> 00:55:16,080
(laughter)
1054
00:55:16,113 --> 00:55:19,083
(barking)
(sighs)
1055
00:55:19,116 --> 00:55:21,619
Oh, hiya, sweetheart.
I just finished your
bottled-water bath.
1056
00:55:21,652 --> 00:55:25,055
Cancel it. Change of plans.
I've just discovered
some new talent
1057
00:55:25,089 --> 00:55:27,358
and it's right
in our own backyard.
1058
00:55:27,392 --> 00:55:30,361
Isn't that right,
poo-poo kiss?
1059
00:55:30,395 --> 00:55:34,098
That's wonderful.
Hey, maybe you two
could sing a duet. Hmm?
1060
00:55:34,131 --> 00:55:36,066
A do what?
A do what?
1061
00:55:36,100 --> 00:55:38,703
What are you talking about,
duets? She flies solo, Sal.
1062
00:55:38,736 --> 00:55:40,538
Right, sugar patch?
1063
00:55:40,571 --> 00:55:42,607
If I want those silver shoes,
1064
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,609
I'll have to pry 'em off
her cold, dead carcass.
1065
00:55:44,642 --> 00:55:45,876
(barks)
1066
00:55:45,910 --> 00:55:47,745
What's that?
1067
00:55:47,778 --> 00:55:49,880
You want one of her bones
when I'm done with her?
1068
00:55:49,914 --> 00:55:53,117
Oh, yes, of course, dear.
Yes!
1069
00:55:53,150 --> 00:55:54,985
Bring me the magic
silver whistle.
1070
00:55:55,019 --> 00:55:59,390
The man-eating wolves are going
to have an early supper tonight.
1071
00:55:59,424 --> 00:56:01,058
(cackles)
1072
00:56:04,429 --> 00:56:06,130
Pardon me, please. Yeah.
1073
00:56:06,163 --> 00:56:10,100
The, uh...
the man-eating wolves
are on a, um ...
1074
00:56:10,134 --> 00:56:12,002
ski vacation.
1075
00:56:12,036 --> 00:56:13,671
Oh.
1076
00:56:13,704 --> 00:56:16,841
Well, then bring me
the magic trumpet of death.
1077
00:56:16,874 --> 00:56:20,177
I will send in the crows
of despair instead.
1078
00:56:20,210 --> 00:56:22,046
(cackles)
1079
00:56:22,079 --> 00:56:25,483
The crows of despair
are at a wedding.
1080
00:56:25,516 --> 00:56:27,552
Yeah.
Huh?
1081
00:56:27,585 --> 00:56:29,687
Angry bees?
Stomach flu.
1082
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:31,522
Vicious squirrels?
It's nut season.
1083
00:56:31,556 --> 00:56:33,891
Blood-thirsty cockatoos?
Religious holiday.
1084
00:56:33,924 --> 00:56:34,992
(sighs)
1085
00:56:35,025 --> 00:56:39,564
All right. Bring me
my enchanted biker cap...
again!
1086
00:56:41,866 --> 00:56:43,568
Round up the flying monkeys.
1087
00:56:43,601 --> 00:56:46,170
There's only room
for one diva in Oz,
1088
00:56:46,203 --> 00:56:48,138
and that's moi!
1089
00:56:48,172 --> 00:56:50,641
(* hums dramatic music)
1090
00:56:53,210 --> 00:56:55,813
Hah. Ahem.
1091
00:56:55,846 --> 00:56:58,816
All right, guys, quit shoving.
Front and center.
1092
00:57:02,219 --> 00:57:04,589
The flying monkeys
are ready to go, boss.
1093
00:57:04,622 --> 00:57:07,625
Fabulous. I want the girl
caught and captured.
1094
00:57:07,658 --> 00:57:10,928
If she resists...
destroy her.
1095
00:57:10,961 --> 00:57:14,499
Really? Knock off a girl?
(witch laughs)
1096
00:57:14,532 --> 00:57:17,602
I-I-I'm sorry.
What do you see on my head?
1097
00:57:17,635 --> 00:57:20,905
(all) Enchanted biker cap.
1098
00:57:20,938 --> 00:57:22,973
And what does it mean?
1099
00:57:23,007 --> 00:57:26,076
Your wish is our command.
1100
00:57:26,110 --> 00:57:28,078
Good. And gas up my ride, too.
1101
00:57:28,112 --> 00:57:30,881
I wanna make sure
you knot-heads don't screw up.
1102
00:57:30,915 --> 00:57:33,217
All right, you mugs.
Come on, let's go!
1103
00:57:35,052 --> 00:57:37,087
(yelps)
1104
00:57:37,121 --> 00:57:40,658
(* monkeys hum
"The Ride of the Valkyries")
1105
00:57:50,067 --> 00:57:51,502
(sighs)
1106
00:57:56,674 --> 00:57:58,509
The witch!
1107
00:58:08,853 --> 00:58:10,921
Slow down, slow down,
slow down, slow down!
1108
00:58:10,955 --> 00:58:12,890
Back it up.
1109
00:58:26,003 --> 00:58:27,772
Well, well, well.
1110
00:58:27,805 --> 00:58:30,841
Looks like someone forgot
to take out the trash.
1111
00:58:30,875 --> 00:58:34,044
Trash? Pretty big talk
coming from a hog on a hog.
1112
00:58:34,078 --> 00:58:35,646
(laughter)
1113
00:58:41,351 --> 00:58:44,021
Ha-ha-ha. Oh, so clever.
Such wit.
1114
00:58:44,054 --> 00:58:46,056
I know your type, missy.
1115
00:58:46,090 --> 00:58:49,293
You sweet young things
come in with stars in your eyes,
1116
00:58:49,326 --> 00:58:52,096
ready to show the world
what you've got.
1117
00:58:52,129 --> 00:58:55,633
Well, now it's time
to clear the stage
for the real talent,
1118
00:58:55,666 --> 00:58:59,203
'cause the diva gig's
a killer... and so am I.
1119
00:58:59,236 --> 00:59:02,139
Hey, you can't talk
to my friend like that.
1120
00:59:02,172 --> 00:59:04,241
Oh, yeah?
And who's gonna stop me?
1121
00:59:05,643 --> 00:59:06,644
Um...
1122
00:59:09,113 --> 00:59:11,015
He will.
Uh...
1123
00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:13,918
Boo!
1124
00:59:13,951 --> 00:59:16,120
It never really worked
on the crows either.
1125
00:59:16,153 --> 00:59:17,988
Capture the girl
and the fur ball.
1126
00:59:18,022 --> 00:59:20,157
I'm in the mood
for lion nuggets.
1127
00:59:20,190 --> 00:59:23,861
As for the others,
shred 'em to pieces.
1128
00:59:23,894 --> 00:59:25,963
But why?
They've done nothing to you.
1129
00:59:25,996 --> 00:59:28,098
Why, you ask? Why?
1130
00:59:28,132 --> 00:59:30,735
I'll tell you why,
in a song.
1131
00:59:30,768 --> 00:59:33,070
Hit it!
1132
00:59:34,872 --> 00:59:37,908
Um...
1133
00:59:37,942 --> 00:59:40,310
Hmm. Nice digs.
1134
00:59:40,344 --> 00:59:42,079
You're late!
1135
00:59:42,112 --> 00:59:45,015
You know, like, not everyone
has groovy flying motorbikes,
OK?
1136
00:59:45,049 --> 00:59:47,051
Not my problem.
1137
00:59:47,084 --> 00:59:50,655
Yeah, we've been driving
the same lousy bus since 1978.
1138
00:59:50,688 --> 00:59:53,023
We'll talk about it later!
1139
00:59:53,057 --> 00:59:54,859
I...
Later!
1140
00:59:56,961 --> 00:59:58,328
(grunting)
1141
00:59:58,362 --> 00:59:59,697
Ah!
1142
00:59:59,730 --> 01:00:01,265
(grunting)
1143
01:00:04,802 --> 01:00:07,838
Get, get, get!
Sorry!
1144
01:00:07,872 --> 01:00:10,007
(yelling and crashing)
1145
01:00:14,278 --> 01:00:17,915
Ready!
Hit it!
1146
01:00:17,948 --> 01:00:21,385
* Maybe I need to spell it out,
Dorothy Gale
1147
01:00:21,418 --> 01:00:25,823
* This is my show
Sorry, you fail
1148
01:00:25,856 --> 01:00:28,993
* There's only room
for one rock goddess in Oz
1149
01:00:29,026 --> 01:00:30,427
* You've lost your bloom
1150
01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:33,130
* Poor thing,
already a "was"
1151
01:00:33,163 --> 01:00:37,702
* Pay attention
Listen to moi
1152
01:00:37,735 --> 01:00:41,806
* This TV special is mine,
comme ça?
1153
01:00:41,839 --> 01:00:45,876
* So you can leave
the silver shoes at the door
1154
01:00:45,910 --> 01:00:48,913
* 'Cause the diva's
got the floor
Look out!
1155
01:00:48,946 --> 01:00:52,082
* The witch is in the house
1156
01:00:52,116 --> 01:00:55,152
* The witch is in the house
* The witch is in the house
1157
01:00:55,185 --> 01:00:58,889
* She's hot
The witch is in the house
1158
01:00:58,923 --> 01:01:01,692
* This is my scene,
this is my set
1159
01:01:03,227 --> 01:01:05,730
* I may be gorgeous
1160
01:01:05,763 --> 01:01:07,197
* But I'm bad as they get
* She's hot
1161
01:01:07,231 --> 01:01:10,768
* You better run 'cause
you ain't seen nothing yet
1162
01:01:10,801 --> 01:01:12,336
* Watch out
1163
01:01:12,369 --> 01:01:15,773
* The witch is in the house
1164
01:01:15,806 --> 01:01:19,810
* Remember, missy,
the eye sees all
1165
01:01:19,844 --> 01:01:22,847
* Time to get down
on your knees and crawl
1166
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:24,381
* You better stop
1167
01:01:24,414 --> 01:01:27,885
* You're gonna scream
and shout
1168
01:01:27,918 --> 01:01:30,788
* 'Cause mama's gonna
knock you out
1169
01:01:30,821 --> 01:01:33,290
* The witch is in the house
1170
01:01:33,323 --> 01:01:37,394
* The crazy, kooky house
* The witch is in the house
1171
01:01:37,427 --> 01:01:40,497
* The witch is in the house
1172
01:01:40,530 --> 01:01:44,168
* I don't forgive,
I never forget
1173
01:01:44,201 --> 01:01:49,073
* Think you can drop
another house on my head?
1174
01:01:49,106 --> 01:01:52,142
* You're gonna wish
that you were already dead
1175
01:01:52,176 --> 01:01:55,379
* Watch out
The witch is in the house
1176
01:01:57,882 --> 01:02:00,785
* On a good day
1177
01:02:00,818 --> 01:02:04,488
* I'll have you begging
for mercy
* Mercy me
1178
01:02:04,521 --> 01:02:07,091
And let me tell ya,
when she comes home at night...
Oh, excuse me.
1179
01:02:07,124 --> 01:02:08,926
* On a bad day
1180
01:02:08,959 --> 01:02:11,061
* I'll make you wish
you were never born
1181
01:02:11,095 --> 01:02:14,431
* As I insult your wardrobe,
causing you such pain
and humiliation
1182
01:02:14,464 --> 01:02:16,400
* That you scream
from the depth of your soul
1183
01:02:16,433 --> 01:02:18,302
* As your eyes roll back
into your head
Eyes!
1184
01:02:18,335 --> 01:02:21,238
* And your toenails
carve grooves into
my Italian marble floor
1185
01:02:21,271 --> 01:02:23,507
Marble!
(laughs)
1186
01:02:23,540 --> 01:02:25,910
But I digress.
Digress.
1187
01:02:25,943 --> 01:02:28,178
Two, three, four!
Get 'em, boys!
1188
01:02:28,212 --> 01:02:31,048
Come to Papa.
1189
01:02:31,081 --> 01:02:33,450
(screaming)
1190
01:02:36,586 --> 01:02:39,089
I'll stop 'em.
1191
01:02:39,123 --> 01:02:41,258
(screaming)
1192
01:02:45,229 --> 01:02:46,997
(alarm)
1193
01:02:53,838 --> 01:02:56,073
(monkeys) * Eye, eye,
eye, eye, eye
1194
01:02:56,106 --> 01:02:57,541
* The eye, oh, no
1195
01:02:57,574 --> 01:03:00,911
* The eye, eye, eye, eye
The eye sees all
1196
01:03:00,945 --> 01:03:02,813
* The eye, eye, eye, eye
1197
01:03:02,847 --> 01:03:05,983
* Here comes the eye
1198
01:03:06,016 --> 01:03:08,285
* The witch is in the house
1199
01:03:08,318 --> 01:03:11,822
* The witch is in the house
1200
01:03:11,856 --> 01:03:13,924
* Eye, eye, eye, eye
* The witch is in the house
1201
01:03:13,958 --> 01:03:15,893
(witch) * Now give it up,
I'm taking the shoes
1202
01:03:15,926 --> 01:03:19,964
* Audition's over
and this time you lose
1203
01:03:19,997 --> 01:03:22,933
* Look for all the gory details
on the ten o'clock news
1204
01:03:22,967 --> 01:03:24,301
* Watch out
1205
01:03:24,334 --> 01:03:26,837
* The witch is in the house
1206
01:03:26,871 --> 01:03:29,306
Watch out!
The witch is in the house.
1207
01:03:33,177 --> 01:03:35,212
(revs engine)
1208
01:03:35,245 --> 01:03:37,281
(tires screech)
1209
01:03:37,314 --> 01:03:41,018
(Toto) Hey! I can't see!
1210
01:03:41,051 --> 01:03:44,321
I'm going to hyperventilate, OK.
I can't even see, OK.
1211
01:03:44,354 --> 01:03:46,190
I'm going to hyperventilate.
1212
01:03:50,027 --> 01:03:52,296
Whoo-hoo!
Nice meeting ya, fellas!
1213
01:03:52,329 --> 01:03:54,631
Too bad you went
to pieces on us!
1214
01:03:54,664 --> 01:03:56,400
(laughs)
1215
01:04:14,051 --> 01:04:16,186
Sal, let's go, let's go.
Come on. Time is money, huh?
1216
01:04:16,220 --> 01:04:20,925
We're on the air
in three, two...
1217
01:04:20,958 --> 01:04:22,592
Bonjour!
1218
01:04:22,626 --> 01:04:26,030
Witch of the West coming
at you from my lair of evil.
1219
01:04:26,063 --> 01:04:29,133
Good news, fans.
In order to keep up
with the Joneses,
1220
01:04:29,166 --> 01:04:33,203
I've decided to lend my talent
to reality television.
1221
01:04:33,237 --> 01:04:35,605
Today, you'll see me
do my hair,
1222
01:04:35,639 --> 01:04:38,108
take my daily
bottled-water bath,
1223
01:04:38,142 --> 01:04:40,410
and as an added bonus...
1224
01:04:43,413 --> 01:04:45,582
I'll try on
some awesome footwear
1225
01:04:45,615 --> 01:04:48,953
that will help me
totally rule all of Oz.
1226
01:04:48,986 --> 01:04:50,520
I'm never giving you
my shoes, Witch!
1227
01:04:50,554 --> 01:04:52,522
We'll see about that,
won't we?
1228
01:04:58,128 --> 01:04:59,329
(Witch) Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!
1229
01:04:59,363 --> 01:05:02,699
Why me? I don't have
the magic shoes! Why me?
1230
01:05:02,732 --> 01:05:04,568
(cries)
1231
01:05:04,601 --> 01:05:08,138
So, Dorothy,
any last words
1232
01:05:08,172 --> 01:05:11,942
before suffering
the agony of...
1233
01:05:11,976 --> 01:05:13,944
"de-feat"?
1234
01:05:13,978 --> 01:05:16,113
Wait, wait! Hold that!
Wait, that's a great pun, honey.
1235
01:05:16,146 --> 01:05:17,647
(Toto screams)
1236
01:05:17,681 --> 01:05:19,083
Ow!
1237
01:05:19,116 --> 01:05:21,585
Ow! Why are you poking me?
1238
01:05:21,618 --> 01:05:24,354
We're tenderizing you
so you taste better!
1239
01:05:24,388 --> 01:05:26,223
Oh, well, then...
(laughter)
1240
01:05:30,294 --> 01:05:33,463
He screamed good that time.
Are you sure
you want to eat me?
1241
01:05:33,497 --> 01:05:35,632
After all,
I am a stand-up comic.
1242
01:05:35,665 --> 01:05:37,601
So?
So?
1243
01:05:37,634 --> 01:05:40,137
You should never
eat the comedian.
They taste funny.
1244
01:05:40,170 --> 01:05:42,172
Ha!
1245
01:05:42,206 --> 01:05:46,076
Was that supposed
to be a joke?
Yes.
1246
01:05:46,110 --> 01:05:49,313
But seriously, it must be tough
being a flying monkey, right?
1247
01:05:49,346 --> 01:05:52,216
Hey, you know why
your motorbikes won't
stand up on their own?
1248
01:05:52,249 --> 01:05:55,085
They're two-tired!
Wacka, wacka!
1249
01:05:55,119 --> 01:05:56,586
(moans)
1250
01:05:58,655 --> 01:05:59,689
(laughter)
1251
01:05:59,723 --> 01:06:02,993
The motorbike has two tires!
1252
01:06:03,027 --> 01:06:06,030
Two tires! (laughs)
1253
01:06:06,063 --> 01:06:07,364
It's funny on many levels.
1254
01:06:12,036 --> 01:06:14,438
(gibbers)
1255
01:06:17,307 --> 01:06:19,109
Dorothy.
1256
01:06:19,143 --> 01:06:21,345
Before I die, just once,
1257
01:06:21,378 --> 01:06:23,513
I want to hear a woman
say she loves me, OK?
1258
01:06:23,547 --> 01:06:26,516
Oh, Toto.
That's so sweet.
1259
01:06:26,550 --> 01:06:28,718
Of course I love you.
1260
01:06:28,752 --> 01:06:32,389
Uh... Look, Dorothy,
I'm flattered, OK.
1261
01:06:32,422 --> 01:06:35,025
But I can't commit myself
to just one womens, OK.
1262
01:06:35,059 --> 01:06:36,593
I hope we can still be friends.
1263
01:06:36,626 --> 01:06:38,162
But you just told me
to tell you--
Sí, sí, sí.
1264
01:06:38,195 --> 01:06:39,729
I know you're feeling hurt.
I understand.
1265
01:06:39,763 --> 01:06:42,632
But time and a razor-sharp blade
cutting into your leg
1266
01:06:42,666 --> 01:06:45,001
will help you forget
all about me, OK.
1267
01:06:48,138 --> 01:06:50,440
Oh, the womens.
1268
01:06:50,474 --> 01:06:52,509
Oh, the razor blades.
1269
01:06:55,145 --> 01:06:57,314
(screams)
1270
01:06:57,347 --> 01:07:00,050
(laughter)
1271
01:07:00,084 --> 01:07:03,053
Hey, who here likes
comedy magic tricks?
Ooh, I do!
1272
01:07:03,087 --> 01:07:04,721
OK!
1273
01:07:04,754 --> 01:07:07,157
I will need some keys.
1274
01:07:07,191 --> 01:07:10,794
Like those used to open cages.
1275
01:07:10,827 --> 01:07:13,230
Who's got the keys?
Sweetums has the keys.
1276
01:07:13,263 --> 01:07:16,400
Will these keys do
for your comedy magic act?
1277
01:07:16,433 --> 01:07:19,503
Ah, they're perfect!
Thank you!
You're welcome.
1278
01:07:19,536 --> 01:07:21,705
OK, now everybody
close your eyes
1279
01:07:21,738 --> 01:07:23,407
and put your hands
on the floor.
1280
01:07:26,176 --> 01:07:31,381
Now, say the magic words,
"owah tafoo lyam," four times.
1281
01:07:31,415 --> 01:07:35,719
(all) Owah tafoo lyam.
1282
01:07:35,752 --> 01:07:39,523
Owah tafoo lyam.
1283
01:07:39,556 --> 01:07:43,127
Owah tafoo lyam.
1284
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:46,296
Owah tafoo lyam.
1285
01:07:51,135 --> 01:07:52,402
He's gone!
He's gone!
1286
01:07:52,436 --> 01:07:54,438
That's comedy and magic!
Yeah!
1287
01:07:58,208 --> 01:08:01,378
OK, big dramatic ending, babe.
Here it comes.
1288
01:08:01,411 --> 01:08:03,213
Wait for it.
1289
01:08:04,848 --> 01:08:07,151
Hey, what are you
doing, Johnny?
Hmm?
1290
01:08:07,184 --> 01:08:09,553
Oh, I just got
this jacket cleaned. OK.
1291
01:08:12,256 --> 01:08:14,124
I'll save you!
Lion!
1292
01:08:14,158 --> 01:08:15,825
Whoa!
Oh, gosh.
1293
01:08:15,859 --> 01:08:19,363
Don't just stand there -
get him!
I am getting him.
1294
01:08:19,396 --> 01:08:21,565
In a nice wide shot
with you in the foreground.
1295
01:08:21,598 --> 01:08:22,566
Oh, good. Nice.
1296
01:08:22,599 --> 01:08:24,268
Hi, Mom!
1297
01:08:24,301 --> 01:08:26,403
Excuse me,
could I trouble you
to kill someone for me?
1298
01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:28,372
OK. (growls)
Thank you.
1299
01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:33,143
(screams)
1300
01:08:36,746 --> 01:08:39,783
Whoa!
1301
01:08:39,816 --> 01:08:43,587
* Calling all Munchkins,
let's do lunchkins, uh... *
1302
01:08:43,620 --> 01:08:46,156
Come on, come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on,
come on come on.
1303
01:08:46,190 --> 01:08:49,259
What took you so long?
(Lion) Oh, ow! Oh!
1304
01:08:51,195 --> 01:08:53,163
It's hot.
Let's get this.
1305
01:08:54,831 --> 01:08:57,767
That tickled. Take that.
You're ticklish?
1306
01:08:57,801 --> 01:09:01,805
The big lug's ticklish!
(laughs and groans)
1307
01:09:01,838 --> 01:09:04,908
Tickle, tickle, tickle!
1308
01:09:04,941 --> 01:09:07,577
All right, Alpha Team,
Crustacean emancipation.
1309
01:09:07,611 --> 01:09:11,181
Delta Team, come with me.
Disengage Dorothy.
1310
01:09:11,215 --> 01:09:13,850
All right, team leaders,
isolate and secure
these silver shoes.
1311
01:09:13,883 --> 01:09:16,420
(witch) No!
1312
01:09:16,453 --> 01:09:19,289
You know, you're a pest.
Munchkin, actually.
1313
01:09:19,323 --> 01:09:21,391
And you know
what I do to pests?
1314
01:09:21,425 --> 01:09:25,262
Well, you welcome us
as part of an unconventional
multispecies family?
1315
01:09:25,295 --> 01:09:28,632
I kill pests!
Until they're dead!
1316
01:09:28,665 --> 01:09:30,367
(choking)
1317
01:09:34,704 --> 01:09:36,773
Check it out.
Your little show's
about to be canceled.
1318
01:09:36,806 --> 01:09:38,975
All right, Gale.
1319
01:09:39,008 --> 01:09:41,645
This ends now,
once and for all.
1320
01:09:41,678 --> 01:09:43,580
Bring it!
Let's go!
1321
01:09:43,613 --> 01:09:44,814
It's on!
I'm ready!
1322
01:09:44,848 --> 01:09:47,284
Come with it.
I...
1323
01:09:47,317 --> 01:09:49,986
You...
1324
01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:52,689
I'm out.
Let's just fight now.
Hiiii...
1325
01:09:52,722 --> 01:09:55,825
Uh-oh. Somebody's gonna
get witch-slapped.
We're outta here, boys.
1326
01:09:55,859 --> 01:09:57,627
...iii...
1327
01:09:57,661 --> 01:10:00,697
And then, just as Dorothy
and the Wicked Witch
1328
01:10:00,730 --> 01:10:02,632
charge at each other...
Bam!
1329
01:10:02,666 --> 01:10:04,801
Blowout fight scene.
1330
01:10:04,834 --> 01:10:09,673
The gals whip out
these huge samurai swords,
1331
01:10:09,706 --> 01:10:12,242
and they just tear it up.
1332
01:10:12,276 --> 01:10:15,512
I'm talking kung fu!
(whimpers)
1333
01:10:15,545 --> 01:10:17,781
I'm talking walking
on walls!
1334
01:10:17,814 --> 01:10:21,418
I'm talking explosions
everywhere!
1335
01:10:21,451 --> 01:10:23,487
(explosions)
(whimpers)
1336
01:10:23,520 --> 01:10:26,756
I'm talking Oz in flames!
1337
01:10:26,790 --> 01:10:29,826
Burn, baby, burn!
1338
01:10:29,859 --> 01:10:32,729
You digging it?
Uh... Yeah...
1339
01:10:32,762 --> 01:10:35,332
That sounds a bit violent
for a family film.
1340
01:10:35,365 --> 01:10:37,534
OK. Cool, cool. OK.
1341
01:10:37,567 --> 01:10:40,370
We pull back
on the fight scene.
1342
01:10:40,404 --> 01:10:44,574
No explosions,
no "burn, baby, burn."
1343
01:10:44,608 --> 01:10:45,942
Mm-hmm.
1344
01:10:45,975 --> 01:10:48,378
All right, you know,
less kung fu.
Yeah, yeah.
1345
01:10:48,412 --> 01:10:50,580
But instead, what we have...
1346
01:10:50,614 --> 01:10:52,316
Are you ready?
You ready?
Yeah.
1347
01:10:52,349 --> 01:10:55,051
Morphing.
Morphing?
1348
01:10:55,084 --> 01:10:57,721
Morphing.
Crazy morphing!
1349
01:10:57,754 --> 01:11:01,825
We're talking Piggy
transforming into Gonzo.
1350
01:11:01,858 --> 01:11:04,961
Mutating into Scooter.
1351
01:11:04,994 --> 01:11:09,533
Scooter turning into
a big, busty vampire vixen
1352
01:11:09,566 --> 01:11:14,871
who explodes
in a sea of crimson blood!
1353
01:11:14,904 --> 01:11:17,674
All done in the classic
Japanese anime style,
you know, like, for the kids.
1354
01:11:17,707 --> 01:11:20,977
I... yeah.
Sounds... expensive.
1355
01:11:21,010 --> 01:11:24,314
OK, OK. Uh...
Think, think, think,
1356
01:11:24,348 --> 01:11:26,583
think, think, think,
think, think, think, think.
1357
01:11:26,616 --> 01:11:29,653
I can work with this -
don't worry. Think, think...
1358
01:11:29,686 --> 01:11:32,088
I got it.
1359
01:11:32,121 --> 01:11:36,526
Dorothy big, bad Dorothy
1360
01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:38,528
goes to kick
the Wicked Witch...
1361
01:11:38,562 --> 01:11:39,696
Are you ready?
Yeah.
1362
01:11:39,729 --> 01:11:41,798
You ready for this?
Here it comes! Yes, yes!
1363
01:11:41,831 --> 01:11:44,701
...in the face!
1364
01:11:44,734 --> 01:11:48,538
Oh, now,
that we can afford!
Yes!
1365
01:11:48,572 --> 01:11:50,574
Hiiii...
1366
01:11:55,144 --> 01:11:57,381
...ya!
1367
01:12:01,451 --> 01:12:03,953
Hii-ya to you, too!
1368
01:12:05,855 --> 01:12:08,692
That all you got?
A bottled-water bath?
1369
01:12:08,725 --> 01:12:11,761
What's next?
A deadly pedicure?
1370
01:12:11,795 --> 01:12:13,930
(laughing)
1371
01:12:13,963 --> 01:12:17,901
Why am I itching?
What kind of water is this?
1372
01:12:17,934 --> 01:12:19,035
Oh. Oh, I...
1373
01:12:19,068 --> 01:12:21,838
We most definitely filled
it up with bottled water.
1374
01:12:21,871 --> 01:12:24,040
Ain't that right, Sal?
Oh, yeah. Right, Johnny.
1375
01:12:24,073 --> 01:12:26,410
100 percent.
Ain't that right,
Angel Marie?
1376
01:12:26,443 --> 01:12:29,679
Oh, uh... well, when we
ran out of that stuff,
1377
01:12:29,713 --> 01:12:31,581
I topped her off
with a hose.
1378
01:12:31,615 --> 01:12:35,385
What? I told you to use
only bottled water!
1379
01:12:35,419 --> 01:12:37,454
Oh, no!
Oopsy.
1380
01:12:37,487 --> 01:12:40,089
What a horrible way to...
My bad.
1381
01:12:40,123 --> 01:12:42,826
I'm not melting.
I'm getting skinny!
1382
01:12:42,859 --> 01:12:45,028
Oh! I'm getting skinny!
1383
01:12:45,061 --> 01:12:47,564
(singsong) * Ha ha ha ha ha!
I win! I win!
1384
01:12:48,965 --> 01:12:50,634
What?
1385
01:12:52,902 --> 01:12:54,671
Oh, nuts.
1386
01:12:54,704 --> 01:12:56,506
No!
1387
01:12:57,974 --> 01:13:00,877
(screams)
1388
01:13:02,712 --> 01:13:03,747
(snorts)
1389
01:13:03,780 --> 01:13:06,182
(bell)
1390
01:13:06,215 --> 01:13:09,553
Uh... should I cut?
1391
01:13:09,586 --> 01:13:11,821
What? What?
Yeah, cut.
1392
01:13:11,855 --> 01:13:13,723
Whoa! Hey!
1393
01:13:13,757 --> 01:13:17,026
Fabulous performance, darling.
Fabulous! That's incredible!
1394
01:13:17,060 --> 01:13:20,764
What a performance.
Unbelievable, ba... by.
1395
01:13:22,766 --> 01:13:24,468
Oh!
1396
01:13:24,501 --> 01:13:27,637
No, sugar patch.
How could it be?
1397
01:13:27,671 --> 01:13:30,674
You were deathly allergic
to tap water!
1398
01:13:30,707 --> 01:13:32,742
Oh.
1399
01:13:32,776 --> 01:13:34,444
I don't think she can
hear you, Johnny...
1400
01:13:34,478 --> 01:13:35,845
I know she can't hear me!
1401
01:13:35,879 --> 01:13:38,114
(sobbing)
(dog barking)
1402
01:13:38,147 --> 01:13:40,517
No, no, baby. Don't look.
D-d-d-don't look.
1403
01:13:40,550 --> 01:13:42,686
Don't look.
1404
01:13:42,719 --> 01:13:45,221
Mama melted.
What?
1405
01:13:45,254 --> 01:13:46,990
(whimpering)
1406
01:13:47,023 --> 01:13:48,492
Ugh.
1407
01:13:48,525 --> 01:13:51,227
We must be strong.
1408
01:13:51,260 --> 01:13:53,597
Go to your happy place,
you rotten little dog.
1409
01:13:55,064 --> 01:13:57,166
What does she got there?
Got it!
1410
01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:59,569
Her magic eye!
(sobs)
1411
01:14:02,906 --> 01:14:04,808
What happened?
1412
01:14:04,841 --> 01:14:07,711
Oh, the witch is no longer
in the house, OK?
1413
01:14:07,744 --> 01:14:09,879
She is down the drain.
We melted her.
1414
01:14:09,913 --> 01:14:11,981
(cheering)
1415
01:14:14,150 --> 01:14:16,820
Wait, why are you guys
hugging me?
1416
01:14:16,853 --> 01:14:18,822
You're her vile henchmen.
1417
01:14:18,855 --> 01:14:21,791
Vile? No.
1418
01:14:21,825 --> 01:14:25,762
We were just a gentle band
of motorcycle enthusiasts
1419
01:14:25,795 --> 01:14:29,533
until the witch put us
under an evil spell
1420
01:14:29,566 --> 01:14:34,504
and enslaved us with her...
her enchanted biker cap.
1421
01:14:34,538 --> 01:14:38,942
(all gasp)
Enchanted biker cap!
1422
01:14:38,975 --> 01:14:41,144
Since you wasted her,
1423
01:14:41,177 --> 01:14:44,147
this hat rightfully
belongs to you.
Give her the hat.
1424
01:14:44,180 --> 01:14:48,184
And now we must obey
any order you give us!
1425
01:14:48,217 --> 01:14:51,688
Yeah, like, you can have
everyone spank me
1426
01:14:51,721 --> 01:14:53,256
and call me names!
1427
01:14:56,092 --> 01:14:57,927
Or not.
1428
01:14:57,961 --> 01:15:00,930
First, we need to pick up
some friends of mine.
1429
01:15:00,964 --> 01:15:02,932
(all) Yeah!
1430
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,903
OK, here's how we get
out of this place.
1431
01:15:06,936 --> 01:15:08,672
Quick, get me
a soldering iron,
1432
01:15:08,705 --> 01:15:10,874
a jar of flux
and some corn chips.
1433
01:15:10,907 --> 01:15:14,811
Oh, no! Flying monkeys!
Roll away, roll away!
1434
01:15:14,844 --> 01:15:17,246
(screams)
(motorcycle engine)
1435
01:15:21,685 --> 01:15:24,554
Oh, Dorothy!
Dorothy!
1436
01:15:24,588 --> 01:15:26,556
Thank goodness!
1437
01:15:26,590 --> 01:15:29,125
Dorothy!
1438
01:15:29,158 --> 01:15:31,194
You guys didn't think
I'd forget you, did you?
1439
01:15:31,227 --> 01:15:32,662
No, but what happened?
Yeah!
1440
01:15:32,696 --> 01:15:34,130
It would take too long
to explain.
1441
01:15:34,163 --> 01:15:35,899
No, no, no. I
explain, I explain.
1442
01:15:35,932 --> 01:15:38,267
What happened was,
the witch, she decided...
1443
01:15:38,301 --> 01:15:40,336
Flying monkeys,
put 'em back together.
1444
01:15:40,369 --> 01:15:42,972
(Scarecrow) Oh, great.
1445
01:15:43,006 --> 01:15:45,141
(metal clanking
and motors whirring)
1446
01:15:47,010 --> 01:15:49,679
(buzzing)
(Scarecrow) Ouch.
1447
01:15:49,713 --> 01:15:51,948
Hey, easy. OK...
1448
01:15:51,981 --> 01:15:54,117
Thank you.
(Scarecrow)
You're all backwards.
1449
01:15:54,150 --> 01:15:56,920
Gee, I can see my rear end.
1450
01:15:56,953 --> 01:16:00,757
I must be working out, huh?
(laughter)
1451
01:16:00,790 --> 01:16:03,126
Flying monkeys, take us
to Emerald City.
1452
01:16:03,159 --> 01:16:05,629
We have an appointment
with the wizard.
(cheering)
1453
01:16:07,831 --> 01:16:09,866
Come on, everybody!
Come on!
1454
01:16:09,899 --> 01:16:13,036
What are you doing here
so... alive?
1455
01:16:13,069 --> 01:16:15,371
With flying monkeys?
1456
01:16:15,404 --> 01:16:18,241
We're here to see the wizard.
But you don't have
an appointment.
1457
01:16:18,274 --> 01:16:20,043
This is our appointment.
(all) Yeah!
1458
01:16:20,076 --> 01:16:21,811
No!
Come on, guys.
1459
01:16:21,845 --> 01:16:23,747
No, you can't! No!
1460
01:16:23,780 --> 01:16:26,015
The wizard won't...
No, you can't do that.
1461
01:16:26,049 --> 01:16:27,751
(Scarecrow) You can't
stop us now.
Ow!
1462
01:16:27,784 --> 01:16:29,619
That's right, that's right!
(Tin Thing) Open the door!
1463
01:16:29,653 --> 01:16:31,921
Come on. Come on, guys.
1464
01:16:31,955 --> 01:16:33,890
Follow me.
1465
01:16:33,923 --> 01:16:36,893
(Dorothy) We got the eye.
We want what you prom... ised.
1466
01:16:36,926 --> 01:16:39,195
(murmuring)
1467
01:16:39,228 --> 01:16:41,397
(Lion) This is what
I was afraid of?
1468
01:16:41,430 --> 01:16:43,366
(Scarecrow)
It's not even green.
1469
01:16:43,399 --> 01:16:45,401
What's going on?
Wait, stop.
1470
01:16:45,434 --> 01:16:48,337
Stop!
You must wear the glasses
1471
01:16:48,371 --> 01:16:52,408
or you will fry from
the wizard's brilliance!
1472
01:16:52,441 --> 01:16:56,045
Really? 'Cause...
you're not frying.
Yeah.
1473
01:16:56,079 --> 01:16:58,247
(meep)
1474
01:16:58,281 --> 01:17:01,184
Oh. Well, uh... um...
1475
01:17:01,217 --> 01:17:02,986
It burns! Oh!
1476
01:17:03,019 --> 01:17:08,825
My face sizzles and cooks
before your very eyes!
1477
01:17:08,858 --> 01:17:11,928
Oh, the horror!
The horror!
1478
01:17:11,961 --> 01:17:15,231
(meeping)
1479
01:17:15,264 --> 01:17:16,666
Huh?
(meep)
1480
01:17:16,700 --> 01:17:18,367
Oh. (clears throat)
1481
01:17:18,401 --> 01:17:20,904
Um... Well...
(clears throat)
1482
01:17:20,937 --> 01:17:24,107
I guess they're not
buying it, Beakie.
1483
01:17:24,140 --> 01:17:26,876
So, we must away.
(clears throat)
1484
01:17:26,910 --> 01:17:28,277
Toodle-oo.
1485
01:17:28,311 --> 01:17:33,049
(wizard) I am Oz,
the great and terrible!
1486
01:17:33,082 --> 01:17:35,685
Jeepers, fellas,
the joint is haunted!
1487
01:17:35,719 --> 01:17:37,754
Yeah! Make like
we're running away!
1488
01:17:37,787 --> 01:17:40,890
It's OK! It's all right!
Get back here.
1489
01:17:40,924 --> 01:17:43,359
(wizard) Why do you seek me?
1490
01:17:43,392 --> 01:17:46,029
Because we want
what you promised!
Yeah!
1491
01:17:46,062 --> 01:17:48,832
(wizard) Oh, dear me.
This is sudden. Uh...
1492
01:17:48,865 --> 01:17:51,167
Come back tomorrow
1493
01:17:51,200 --> 01:17:54,871
during normal business hours
8:30am and 5:30pm.
1494
01:17:54,904 --> 01:17:56,940
No way! You've had
enough time already!
Yeah.
1495
01:17:56,973 --> 01:17:59,976
Sí. You better keep
your promise or...
1496
01:18:00,009 --> 01:18:02,078
I'll go cyclone in here!
1497
01:18:04,247 --> 01:18:06,916
Hey!
1498
01:18:06,950 --> 01:18:09,318
(gibberish)
1499
01:18:14,958 --> 01:18:16,092
(gibberish)
1500
01:18:21,064 --> 01:18:23,166
(gasps for air)
1501
01:18:25,869 --> 01:18:26,970
Ah!
1502
01:18:33,442 --> 01:18:35,779
(on PA) We're done here!
1503
01:18:35,812 --> 01:18:38,381
Uh... Yeah...
We can see you.
1504
01:18:38,414 --> 01:18:42,118
No, you can't!
I'm invisible!
1505
01:18:42,151 --> 01:18:44,888
Stop. Seriously, you're
embarrassing yourself.
1506
01:19:02,271 --> 01:19:03,239
Oh!
1507
01:19:03,272 --> 01:19:05,441
Oh, boy.
1508
01:19:07,811 --> 01:19:09,445
Hello.
1509
01:19:09,478 --> 01:19:12,215
So you're the wonderful
Wizard of Oz?
1510
01:19:12,248 --> 01:19:14,117
I'm a little afraid
of heights. Uh...
1511
01:19:14,150 --> 01:19:16,352
Hi, how are ya?
Good to see ya.
Hi.
1512
01:19:16,385 --> 01:19:17,954
Well, so, uh...
1513
01:19:17,987 --> 01:19:21,858
I'm Francis Kornfine
at your service.
Let me see this!
1514
01:19:21,891 --> 01:19:24,493
I'm sorry. It says I'm
from Hollywood, California.
1515
01:19:24,527 --> 01:19:26,295
And it says that I drive
a tour bus.
1516
01:19:26,329 --> 01:19:30,199
I gotta tell you,
this is more than
a little disappointing.
1517
01:19:30,233 --> 01:19:32,335
So that's why you wanted
the eye.
1518
01:19:32,368 --> 01:19:34,137
You were afraid
the Wicked Witch
1519
01:19:34,170 --> 01:19:36,973
would see you for what
you really are - a big phony!
1520
01:19:37,006 --> 01:19:39,275
No, um... Yes.
1521
01:19:39,308 --> 01:19:42,145
Something...
Well, something like that.
1522
01:19:42,178 --> 01:19:43,880
You're a bad man.
No.
1523
01:19:43,913 --> 01:19:45,949
I have to disagree.
I'm not a bad man.
1524
01:19:45,982 --> 01:19:47,951
I'm... You know...
But I'm a bad wizard.
1525
01:19:47,984 --> 01:19:51,520
I gotta tell ya,
I-I never set out
to trick anyone.
1526
01:19:51,554 --> 01:19:53,522
It's just, I got here,
and everybody,
1527
01:19:53,556 --> 01:19:55,959
they just, they assumed
that I had this thing.
1528
01:19:55,992 --> 01:19:59,162
That I was this
all-powerful wizard.
1529
01:19:59,195 --> 01:20:01,430
Why would they think that
about you?
You know why?
1530
01:20:01,464 --> 01:20:04,834
Because I-I-I
could do this.
(gasping)
1531
01:20:04,868 --> 01:20:07,236
Oh, my goodness!
Wow!
1532
01:20:07,270 --> 01:20:10,439
Oh, do that again!
Do that again!
It's amazing!
1533
01:20:10,473 --> 01:20:13,376
They're simple people,
but, oh, they're loving.
1534
01:20:13,409 --> 01:20:16,145
Did you ever tell anyone
you weren't a wizard?
1535
01:20:16,179 --> 01:20:18,447
No! You know, one of
the secrets of show business
1536
01:20:18,481 --> 01:20:21,450
you gotta give them
what they want, you know.
1537
01:20:21,484 --> 01:20:23,152
Then give us what we want!
1538
01:20:23,186 --> 01:20:24,587
Yeah, and explain
how you turned into
1539
01:20:24,620 --> 01:20:27,490
such a sexy chicken.
1540
01:20:27,523 --> 01:20:29,358
All right, all right.
I'll do it.
1541
01:20:29,392 --> 01:20:31,895
I'm not really a wizard,
but I-I'll do it.
1542
01:20:31,928 --> 01:20:34,463
I'll give you
- every one of you -
what I, uh, promised.
1543
01:20:34,497 --> 01:20:37,566
Give me two hours.
Two hours.
1544
01:20:37,600 --> 01:20:40,403
(crowd noises)
1545
01:20:40,436 --> 01:20:43,072
(man) She's coming out!
(man #2) Dorothy! Dorothy!
1546
01:20:43,106 --> 01:20:46,642
Dorothy! Over here!
Ooh, ooh,
Dorothy! Dorothy!
1547
01:20:46,675 --> 01:20:49,478
Would you sign
my boomerang fish?
Sure.
1548
01:20:49,512 --> 01:20:51,480
He's your biggest fan!
1549
01:20:51,514 --> 01:20:54,283
(chuckles)
1550
01:20:54,317 --> 01:20:57,453
Wow! Thank you!
You're welcome.
1551
01:20:57,486 --> 01:20:59,956
I wish they could see
this back in Kansas!
1552
01:20:59,989 --> 01:21:03,159
And here she comes -
Emerald City's Dorothy Gale.
1553
01:21:03,192 --> 01:21:06,195
So, Dorothy, how does it feel
to be the biggest star in Oz?
1554
01:21:06,229 --> 01:21:08,597
I don't know!
I'm surprised everyone
likes me so much.
1555
01:21:08,631 --> 01:21:11,200
They haven't even
heard me sing!
1556
01:21:11,234 --> 01:21:14,437
You heard it, folks.
Dorothy Gale,
the biggest star in Oz.
1557
01:21:14,470 --> 01:21:16,139
Even though no one's
ever heard her sing!
1558
01:21:16,172 --> 01:21:17,140
(glass shatters)
1559
01:21:17,173 --> 01:21:21,377
Dorothy!
Dorothy! This way!
1560
01:21:21,410 --> 01:21:23,446
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
1561
01:21:23,479 --> 01:21:26,082
No, listen, Eisner, baby.
1562
01:21:26,115 --> 01:21:27,616
If you think we're going
for that deal,
1563
01:21:27,650 --> 01:21:30,286
you're out of your
Mickey mind, OK?
1564
01:21:30,319 --> 01:21:33,022
I can't talk right now.
I gotta run. I gotta run.
I gotta run!
1565
01:21:33,056 --> 01:21:35,091
(* theme music over TV)
1566
01:21:35,124 --> 01:21:36,659
(static)
1567
01:21:39,695 --> 01:21:42,265
Ladies and gentleman -
and unisex penguins
1568
01:21:42,298 --> 01:21:44,600
live from Emerald City,
1569
01:21:44,633 --> 01:21:46,469
it's the wonderful
Wizard of Oz!
1570
01:21:46,502 --> 01:21:48,671
(cheering and applause)
1571
01:21:50,673 --> 01:21:52,241
(wizard) Ah, thank you.
1572
01:21:52,275 --> 01:21:55,011
Oh, this is so exciting!
1573
01:21:55,044 --> 01:21:59,482
Oh, thanks. Thank you.
Please. Come on!
1574
01:21:59,515 --> 01:22:01,484
Thank you.
Thank you. Listen...
1575
01:22:03,719 --> 01:22:07,323
Um... I-I-I called
you all together
tonight, so...
1576
01:22:07,356 --> 01:22:11,995
so the good folks
of Emerald City and Oz
at large can...
1577
01:22:12,028 --> 01:22:15,231
finally know the truth. I...
1578
01:22:15,264 --> 01:22:16,532
(sighs)
1579
01:22:16,565 --> 01:22:19,602
I am not who I appear to be.
(gasping)
1580
01:22:19,635 --> 01:22:22,171
You see, I'm just...
1581
01:22:22,205 --> 01:22:25,208
an ordinary guy...
from Hollywood.
1582
01:22:25,241 --> 01:22:28,244
That's a beautiful place
where people keep their word
1583
01:22:28,277 --> 01:22:30,646
and a deal is always honored.
1584
01:22:30,679 --> 01:22:32,715
(all) Nah-uh.
1585
01:22:32,748 --> 01:22:35,418
You see, I made a promise
to some brave folks,
1586
01:22:35,451 --> 01:22:38,421
and I want to keep that promise
in front of everyone!
1587
01:22:38,454 --> 01:22:40,623
So...
1588
01:22:40,656 --> 01:22:43,759
your wizard is gonna
grant some wishes!
1589
01:22:43,792 --> 01:22:46,662
(applause and cheering)
Come on. Come on!
1590
01:22:46,695 --> 01:22:48,998
Oh, I love wizards!
First of all,
1591
01:22:49,032 --> 01:22:50,766
let's bring out... the lion.
1592
01:22:50,799 --> 01:22:52,635
(cheering)
1593
01:22:58,074 --> 01:22:59,642
(mumbling)
1594
01:23:01,377 --> 01:23:03,579
Welcome, Mr. Lion.
1595
01:23:03,612 --> 01:23:06,015
I-I believe you asked
for some courage.
1596
01:23:06,049 --> 01:23:07,616
Yes. Yes, I did.
1597
01:23:07,650 --> 01:23:09,485
And-And courage
you shall have.
1598
01:23:09,518 --> 01:23:12,355
This golden microphone
of bravery
1599
01:23:12,388 --> 01:23:15,624
will certainly end
any debate
1600
01:23:15,658 --> 01:23:18,427
as to who's really
the king of beasts.
1601
01:23:18,461 --> 01:23:20,263
There you go.
Let me turn this on for you.
1602
01:23:20,296 --> 01:23:22,665
Whoa!
Uh-huh.
1603
01:23:22,698 --> 01:23:25,334
Wow! I guess I do
feel a little braver.
1604
01:23:25,368 --> 01:23:27,303
So, two ducks waddle
into a bar.
1605
01:23:27,336 --> 01:23:29,572
Bartender says...
1606
01:23:29,605 --> 01:23:31,474
Get off.
That's not what he says.
1607
01:23:31,507 --> 01:23:34,677
No, no, no. Get off.
Oh, that's me. Yeah.
1608
01:23:34,710 --> 01:23:36,445
(* theme music)
1609
01:23:38,314 --> 01:23:41,417
And now, ladies
and gentlemen...
Tin Thing.
1610
01:23:41,450 --> 01:23:43,786
(* theme music)
(applause)
1611
01:23:47,256 --> 01:23:48,691
Now, Tin Thing,
you asked for a heart,
1612
01:23:48,724 --> 01:23:51,227
and thanks
to my clever scientists
1613
01:23:51,260 --> 01:23:53,729
at the Emerald City labs,
1614
01:23:53,762 --> 01:23:56,232
your chest...
(gasps)
1615
01:23:56,265 --> 01:23:58,434
...will never be empty again.
1616
01:23:58,467 --> 01:23:59,735
This won't hurt.
(beeps)
1617
01:23:59,768 --> 01:24:01,404
(* theme music)
(applause)
1618
01:24:01,437 --> 01:24:03,372
Gosh!
1619
01:24:03,406 --> 01:24:05,841
This is...
this is so nice!
1620
01:24:05,874 --> 01:24:11,414
What if there were someone
to share that heart... with?
1621
01:24:11,447 --> 01:24:14,150
(applause)
Camilla!
1622
01:24:14,183 --> 01:24:17,420
Oh, my darling!
I've missed you so much!
1623
01:24:17,453 --> 01:24:19,555
(all) Aw!
1624
01:24:19,588 --> 01:24:21,690
(all) Aw!
1625
01:24:21,724 --> 01:24:25,761
Oh, dar--
Look who's filled out!
1626
01:24:25,794 --> 01:24:27,496
(clucking)
I don't mean chubby.
1627
01:24:27,530 --> 01:24:29,398
I mean in a nice--
Would you excuse us?
1628
01:24:29,432 --> 01:24:31,100
Yes, take it offstage.
Come on.
1629
01:24:31,134 --> 01:24:33,169
(applause)
1630
01:24:33,202 --> 01:24:36,339
Let's not forget...
the scarecrow.
1631
01:24:36,372 --> 01:24:39,308
(* theme music)
Oh!
1632
01:24:39,342 --> 01:24:41,610
Hey, guys.
Hey, Scarecrow!
1633
01:24:41,644 --> 01:24:44,413
Well, Mr. Scarecrow,
you've asked for nothing
more than a brain.
1634
01:24:44,447 --> 01:24:46,715
Mm-hmm.
Now, from this day forth,
1635
01:24:46,749 --> 01:24:48,751
your knowledge
shall know no bounds.
1636
01:24:48,784 --> 01:24:49,952
Oh.
1637
01:24:49,985 --> 01:24:53,789
But, um... to grant your wish,
I have to take your head off.
1638
01:24:53,822 --> 01:24:55,424
(gasps)
1639
01:24:55,458 --> 01:24:56,725
Uh... Could I...
1640
01:24:56,759 --> 01:24:57,726
could I think about it?
1641
01:24:57,760 --> 01:24:59,895
No. You have no brains.
1642
01:24:59,928 --> 01:25:01,430
Oh. Good point.
1643
01:25:01,464 --> 01:25:02,865
Bring in the brains.
1644
01:25:02,898 --> 01:25:04,433
(applause)
1645
01:25:04,467 --> 01:25:07,803
(speaks mock Swedish)
1646
01:25:07,836 --> 01:25:09,672
Thank you.
(hums)
1647
01:25:09,705 --> 01:25:12,808
All right, quiet, please.
I need absolute...
1648
01:25:12,841 --> 01:25:13,876
concentration.
1649
01:25:13,909 --> 01:25:16,179
Sh, sh!
Quiet! Sh!
1650
01:25:16,212 --> 01:25:17,446
Drum roll, please.
1651
01:25:17,480 --> 01:25:19,515
(drum roll)
1652
01:25:19,548 --> 01:25:20,649
Uh...
1653
01:25:20,683 --> 01:25:22,585
Huh...
1654
01:25:26,955 --> 01:25:28,857
(all scream)
1655
01:25:30,393 --> 01:25:31,627
What are you...?
What are you...? Oh!
1656
01:25:31,660 --> 01:25:33,128
(giggling)
1657
01:25:35,364 --> 01:25:37,500
(Kermit) This is surreal!
1658
01:25:37,533 --> 01:25:39,602
Or should I say, cereal?
1659
01:25:41,604 --> 01:25:44,173
(cheering)
1660
01:25:44,207 --> 01:25:47,210
(applause)
1661
01:25:47,243 --> 01:25:49,578
And now you will be
a great man.
1662
01:25:49,612 --> 01:25:53,316
For I have given you
a lot of bran new brains!
1663
01:25:53,349 --> 01:25:55,951
(laughter)
1664
01:25:55,984 --> 01:25:57,253
That's funny?
1665
01:25:57,286 --> 01:25:58,687
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
1666
01:25:58,721 --> 01:26:00,489
(whispering)
Oh, right down there,
to the left.
1667
01:26:00,523 --> 01:26:02,591
Left. Thanks!
1668
01:26:02,625 --> 01:26:08,264
And finally, it's time
for Oz's newest
overnight sensation to sing.
1669
01:26:08,297 --> 01:26:12,468
My spotlight now belongs
to Miss Dorothy Gale.
1670
01:26:12,501 --> 01:26:15,704
(cheering)
1671
01:26:15,738 --> 01:26:19,342
* It's a good life
1672
01:26:19,375 --> 01:26:21,977
* A happy ending
where you landed
1673
01:26:22,010 --> 01:26:25,414
* It's a good life
1674
01:26:25,448 --> 01:26:27,983
* Don't you love
how it's turning out?
1675
01:26:28,016 --> 01:26:32,588
* It's a good life
Oh!
1676
01:26:32,621 --> 01:26:34,657
* See what happens
when you take your chances
1677
01:26:34,690 --> 01:26:38,427
* It's a good life
1678
01:26:38,461 --> 01:26:41,597
Stop! Stop the music.
1679
01:26:41,630 --> 01:26:42,598
(cheering)
1680
01:26:42,631 --> 01:26:44,833
(music stops)
1681
01:26:44,867 --> 01:26:48,337
I'm sorry,
but this whole thing is a lie.
1682
01:26:48,371 --> 01:26:50,906
It's no different than
those fake green glasses
in Emerald City!
1683
01:26:50,939 --> 01:26:52,308
Or that applause machine.
1684
01:26:52,341 --> 01:26:54,910
Oh! Oh, oh...
1685
01:26:54,943 --> 01:27:00,015
You see, this wizard
hasn't given you anything
you didn't already have!
1686
01:27:00,048 --> 01:27:03,652
I've never had such
a shiny microphone before.
1687
01:27:03,686 --> 01:27:05,888
The point is,
wizard or no wizard,
1688
01:27:05,921 --> 01:27:10,459
you were already brave,
kind and smart.
1689
01:27:10,493 --> 01:27:12,661
Well, gee, I didn't think
I was thinking,
1690
01:27:12,695 --> 01:27:15,864
but, come to think of it,
I think I was thinking. Ha.
1691
01:27:15,898 --> 01:27:17,433
Makes you think.
1692
01:27:17,466 --> 01:27:19,835
(Wizard) OK, I'm...
I'm really upset.
1693
01:27:19,868 --> 01:27:23,038
Dorothy, you say
I-I didn't grant your wish.
1694
01:27:23,071 --> 01:27:24,540
But you're on television.
1695
01:27:24,573 --> 01:27:27,510
Millions hang
on your every word.
1696
01:27:27,543 --> 01:27:30,045
Yes, I control the programming
and nothing else is on,
1697
01:27:30,078 --> 01:27:33,482
but you're famous,
Dorothy. You're a star.
1698
01:27:33,516 --> 01:27:35,951
And that, I gotta say it,
that's, uh...
1699
01:27:35,984 --> 01:27:37,953
that's because of me.
1700
01:27:37,986 --> 01:27:41,357
You really want to
grant my wish, Wizard?
1701
01:27:41,390 --> 01:27:45,661
Send me home, to Kansas,
to my family.
1702
01:27:45,694 --> 01:27:48,797
Dorothy,
you consider it done.
1703
01:27:48,831 --> 01:27:50,933
Really? Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
1704
01:27:50,966 --> 01:27:54,036
I knew you couldn't be
completely useless.
When do we leave?
1705
01:27:54,069 --> 01:27:58,040
Well, um, actually, you have to
visit the fourth witch, Glinda,
1706
01:27:58,073 --> 01:28:00,843
the Good Witch of the, um...
1707
01:28:00,876 --> 01:28:02,411
of the South.
1708
01:28:02,445 --> 01:28:04,079
You gotta be kidding me!
1709
01:28:04,112 --> 01:28:07,816
Another witch? Great.
How do I find this one?
1710
01:28:07,850 --> 01:28:10,486
Sí, sí. What freaky land
we got to visit now, guy?
1711
01:28:10,519 --> 01:28:13,422
Tomorrowland, Adventureland,
Canada.
1712
01:28:13,456 --> 01:28:16,825
The wizard
possesses a magic eye
1713
01:28:16,859 --> 01:28:20,062
to, uh... give us all
the, uh, answer.
1714
01:28:20,095 --> 01:28:23,866
Dude, I know all about the magic
eye. I gave it to you, remember?
1715
01:28:23,899 --> 01:28:26,435
Oh, yes. Ah!
Well, there she is.
1716
01:28:26,469 --> 01:28:27,035
She's in Munchkinland.
1717
01:28:27,069 --> 01:28:29,372
Can you see that?
1718
01:28:29,405 --> 01:28:31,874
She's... she's, uh...
1719
01:28:31,907 --> 01:28:34,643
She's visiting her sister,
Tattypoo.
1720
01:28:34,677 --> 01:28:38,381
the Good Witch
of the, um... North.
1721
01:28:39,682 --> 01:28:42,785
All right, guys.
Back to Munchkinland.
1722
01:28:45,454 --> 01:28:46,655
Oh, well.
1723
01:28:46,689 --> 01:28:47,923
OK.
1724
01:28:52,495 --> 01:28:53,696
You're not so scary.
1725
01:28:53,729 --> 01:28:55,498
Hmph!
(* theme music)
1726
01:28:55,531 --> 01:28:57,466
(applause)
1727
01:28:59,835 --> 01:29:01,470
Yeah, this is it.
I definitely...
1728
01:29:01,504 --> 01:29:03,839
This is Munchkinland.
I've seen it in the postcards.
1729
01:29:03,872 --> 01:29:05,574
Welcome back, Dorothy.
1730
01:29:05,608 --> 01:29:08,577
I'm glad to see your quest
for fame was such a triumph.
1731
01:29:08,611 --> 01:29:11,814
You're now the most
talked-about diva
in all the land.
1732
01:29:11,847 --> 01:29:15,951
I saw you on TV.
TV! I saw her on TV!
1733
01:29:15,984 --> 01:29:18,887
Yes, I know.
Yeah, yeah.
1734
01:29:18,921 --> 01:29:20,789
Excuse me, but where can
I find your sister Glinda?
1735
01:29:20,823 --> 01:29:21,790
(muppet) Here's your
cattuccino, Glinda.
1736
01:29:21,824 --> 01:29:23,058
Right here, dear.
1737
01:29:23,091 --> 01:29:23,959
Where you goin'?
1738
01:29:23,992 --> 01:29:26,128
Shoo, shoo, shoo.
1739
01:29:26,161 --> 01:29:27,696
Enchanté.
1740
01:29:27,730 --> 01:29:29,832
Oh! Mm.
1741
01:29:29,865 --> 01:29:33,869
And who is this sophisticated
and distinguished gentleman?
1742
01:29:33,902 --> 01:29:35,771
Well, my name is Toto.
It's a pleasure...
1743
01:29:35,804 --> 01:29:37,806
Not you.
1744
01:29:37,840 --> 01:29:39,775
How is it we've never met?
1745
01:29:39,808 --> 01:29:42,578
Well, I've spent a lot of time
hanging around on the farm...
1746
01:29:42,611 --> 01:29:43,812
literally.
1747
01:29:43,846 --> 01:29:45,814
Ah, good one!
1748
01:29:45,848 --> 01:29:48,484
Thanks.
Ooh, how intriguing.
1749
01:29:48,517 --> 01:29:50,486
I love agriculture.
Oh?
1750
01:29:50,519 --> 01:29:53,856
Plowing the fields,
rolling in the hay...
1751
01:29:53,889 --> 01:29:55,858
Um, guys?
Hate to interrupt,
1752
01:29:55,891 --> 01:29:58,894
but the wizard said
you can help me get home.
1753
01:29:58,927 --> 01:30:00,729
It's true.
1754
01:30:00,763 --> 01:30:04,600
Just say goodbye to your friends
and... I will show you the way.
1755
01:30:05,968 --> 01:30:07,202
Well, guys.
1756
01:30:07,235 --> 01:30:11,173
Guess this is goodbye.
(all) Aw!
1757
01:30:11,206 --> 01:30:13,075
(muppet) We're really
gonna miss you, darling.
(squeak)
1758
01:30:13,108 --> 01:30:13,909
(muppet #2) Yeah.
What?
1759
01:30:13,942 --> 01:30:16,211
You were the best boss
we ever had.
1760
01:30:16,244 --> 01:30:19,715
I think it's time for you
to be your own boss.
1761
01:30:21,149 --> 01:30:23,151
Oh, I don't believe
you're gonna do it!
1762
01:30:26,555 --> 01:30:29,458
(all cheer)
1763
01:30:29,492 --> 01:30:31,560
I'm sorry,
I'm not following.
1764
01:30:31,594 --> 01:30:32,728
The monkey gets the hat?
1765
01:30:32,761 --> 01:30:34,196
The monkey gets the hat?
1766
01:30:34,229 --> 01:30:35,498
The monkey gets the hat.
1767
01:30:37,700 --> 01:30:39,067
Huh.
1768
01:30:40,869 --> 01:30:42,505
Looks like this is finally it.
1769
01:30:44,206 --> 01:30:47,843
We must be brave,
Dorothy.
1770
01:30:47,876 --> 01:30:49,612
Oh, oh!
1771
01:30:49,645 --> 01:30:53,081
(sobs)
1772
01:30:53,115 --> 01:30:57,486
Goodbyes always
break my heart. (sobs)
1773
01:30:57,520 --> 01:30:58,487
Aw.
1774
01:30:58,521 --> 01:31:00,823
I love you guys.
1775
01:31:00,856 --> 01:31:02,558
I'll never forget you.
1776
01:31:02,591 --> 01:31:03,726
Oh.
1777
01:31:05,561 --> 01:31:07,462
I'll never
forget you, either.
1778
01:31:13,869 --> 01:31:15,604
Toto, you sure...
1779
01:31:15,638 --> 01:31:19,207
No! Don't speak,
my little Dorothita.
1780
01:31:20,643 --> 01:31:22,511
Just go!
1781
01:31:22,545 --> 01:31:25,247
Don't look back, OK?
1782
01:31:25,280 --> 01:31:29,618
Because if you do,
I fear my tears would...
1783
01:31:29,652 --> 01:31:31,554
So how do these things
work, anyway?
1784
01:31:31,587 --> 01:31:33,889
Is there a bus
or something?
1785
01:31:33,922 --> 01:31:37,526
No, it's your shoes. They have
the power to take you anywhere.
1786
01:31:37,560 --> 01:31:38,861
Really? Anywhere?
1787
01:31:38,894 --> 01:31:41,897
Well, I wish someone
would have told me this
1788
01:31:41,930 --> 01:31:46,101
before these magic shoes
gave me these magic blisters.
1789
01:31:47,936 --> 01:31:51,039
What? Look, this is how things
work in enchanted lands.
1790
01:31:51,073 --> 01:31:53,776
The thing you were looking for
was there all along! Jeez!
1791
01:31:53,809 --> 01:31:55,010
Do you wanna get home or not?
1792
01:31:55,043 --> 01:31:57,980
Thanks, sis.
1793
01:31:58,013 --> 01:32:01,784
All you have to do is knock
your heels together three times,
1794
01:32:01,817 --> 01:32:05,788
and command the shoes to take
you wherever you wish to go.
1795
01:32:05,821 --> 01:32:07,823
(sighs)
1796
01:32:07,856 --> 01:32:09,291
I hope this works.
1797
01:32:11,594 --> 01:32:13,829
(muppets) One, two, three!
1798
01:32:13,862 --> 01:32:17,265
Take me home to Aunt Em!
1799
01:32:23,005 --> 01:32:24,039
Bye, Dorothy!
1800
01:32:24,072 --> 01:32:27,309
Yeah. We'll miss you.
1801
01:33:02,210 --> 01:33:05,013
Hey, need any help
with the early-bird rush?
1802
01:33:05,047 --> 01:33:06,314
Dorothy!
1803
01:33:06,348 --> 01:33:08,250
You're alive!
1804
01:33:08,283 --> 01:33:12,187
Look at you! Man,
when that twister hit
1805
01:33:12,220 --> 01:33:12,921
and flew off with the house,
1806
01:33:12,955 --> 01:33:15,824
well, we thought
that you were...
1807
01:33:15,858 --> 01:33:19,261
Well, where on earth
have you been, Dorothy?
1808
01:33:19,294 --> 01:33:20,763
And what are you wearing?
1809
01:33:20,796 --> 01:33:22,665
What's wrong
with my clothes now?
1810
01:33:22,698 --> 01:33:25,100
Guess which refrigerator broke
down when you were gone? The...
1811
01:33:25,133 --> 01:33:27,069
Don't worry, Uncle Henry.
I don't want to fight.
1812
01:33:27,102 --> 01:33:30,138
I just want to say...
you were right.
1813
01:33:30,172 --> 01:33:35,911
Wanting to be a big star
made me forget what
I really love about singing.
1814
01:33:35,944 --> 01:33:38,380
When you're doing it right,
I mean really singing,
1815
01:33:38,413 --> 01:33:40,749
you don't notice
where you are anyway.
1816
01:33:40,783 --> 01:33:44,319
I don't think
I'm leaving Kansas for a while!
1817
01:33:44,352 --> 01:33:46,121
Well, somebody's gonna
be sorry to hear that.
1818
01:33:46,154 --> 01:33:47,990
He's been in here every day
asking about you.
1819
01:33:48,023 --> 01:33:50,358
And eatin' up
all the flowers.
Mm-hmm.
1820
01:33:50,392 --> 01:33:51,259
Mr. Kermit?
1821
01:33:53,061 --> 01:33:54,963
Oh, Miss Gale!
1822
01:33:54,997 --> 01:33:56,965
Oh, I'm so glad
that you're all right!
1823
01:33:56,999 --> 01:33:58,366
Hey, we listened to your demo,
1824
01:33:58,400 --> 01:34:00,736
and you're the best singer
that we heard anywhere!
1825
01:34:00,769 --> 01:34:02,871
We're hoping
you'll join our tour!
1826
01:34:02,905 --> 01:34:06,041
Oh, wow!
I can't believe it!
1827
01:34:06,074 --> 01:34:08,443
But... I can't leave now.
1828
01:34:08,476 --> 01:34:11,814
I just got home
with my family.
1829
01:34:11,847 --> 01:34:12,948
Oh.
1830
01:34:12,981 --> 01:34:15,684
Well, OK. Uh...
1831
01:34:15,718 --> 01:34:17,953
Thank you
for your time. Um...
1832
01:34:17,986 --> 01:34:20,923
I mean, there was that
one other girl in Nebraska
1833
01:34:20,956 --> 01:34:21,957
who was all right...
1834
01:34:21,990 --> 01:34:23,992
Kermit, w-wait.
Don't leave yet.
1835
01:34:24,026 --> 01:34:26,294
OK.
1836
01:34:26,328 --> 01:34:29,965
Dorothy, when that wind picked
up our house and blew it away,
1837
01:34:29,998 --> 01:34:33,435
it gave me a whole new
perspective on what home
is really about.
1838
01:34:33,468 --> 01:34:37,372
If you want to go on tour
and sing, I want you to go.
1839
01:34:37,405 --> 01:34:39,875
because now I know
you'll always be home with us,
1840
01:34:39,908 --> 01:34:41,276
no matter
where you are.
1841
01:34:41,309 --> 01:34:45,080
You mean it?
Come on.
1842
01:34:45,113 --> 01:34:46,782
Wanna get some, Kermit?
We're family now.
1843
01:34:46,815 --> 01:34:49,084
Ah.
1844
01:34:49,117 --> 01:34:50,352
You guys are great.
1845
01:34:50,385 --> 01:34:52,855
Well, Kermit.
Yeah?
1846
01:34:52,888 --> 01:34:53,822
Guess I'm going with you!
1847
01:34:53,856 --> 01:34:55,157
Great!
1848
01:34:55,190 --> 01:34:57,359
Ladies and gentlemen,
Miss Dorothy Gale!
1849
01:34:57,392 --> 01:34:59,862
(applause and cheering)
1850
01:34:59,895 --> 01:35:02,931
* Ah-ha, whoa
1851
01:35:02,965 --> 01:35:05,968
* Yeah, yeah, yeah
1852
01:35:06,001 --> 01:35:08,771
* I got a feeling
that we did something right
1853
01:35:08,804 --> 01:35:10,973
* Everything looking up,
future shining bright
1854
01:35:11,006 --> 01:35:13,341
* I gotta get the message out,
send it loud and clear
1855
01:35:13,375 --> 01:35:15,778
* All you need is right here
1856
01:35:15,811 --> 01:35:18,146
* Who said happiness
is so far away?
1857
01:35:18,180 --> 01:35:20,849
* Closer than you might think,
find it every day
1858
01:35:20,883 --> 01:35:25,287
* Step back, you'll see
you're part of a family
1859
01:35:25,320 --> 01:35:27,856
* It's a good life
1860
01:35:27,890 --> 01:35:29,925
* A happy ending
is where you landed
1861
01:35:29,958 --> 01:35:32,394
* It's a good life
1862
01:35:32,427 --> 01:35:34,429
* Don't you love
how it's turning out?
1863
01:35:34,462 --> 01:35:37,265
* It's a good life
1864
01:35:37,299 --> 01:35:39,768
* See what happens
when you take your chances?
1865
01:35:39,802 --> 01:35:41,469
* It's a good life
1866
01:35:41,503 --> 01:35:45,107
* Come on
and find what I've found
1867
01:35:45,140 --> 01:35:46,474
(Animal) Good life! Good life!
1868
01:35:46,508 --> 01:35:48,343
Oh, that's my niece!
1869
01:35:48,376 --> 01:35:50,145
It's my niece.
That's my niece!
1870
01:35:50,178 --> 01:35:51,513
* Yeah
1871
01:35:51,546 --> 01:35:53,816
Ladies and gentlemen,
Miss Dorothy Gale!
1872
01:35:53,849 --> 01:35:54,883
(applause and cheering)
1873
01:35:54,917 --> 01:35:58,453
Yay! Yay!
129051
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