Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
WEBVTT
00:47.400 --> 00:50.400
[Jeremy] Hello and welcome
to The Grand Tour,
00:50.440 --> 00:53.760
which is not coming
to you this time
from the top
00:53.800 --> 00:56.440
of a volcano or the bottom
of the sea.
00:56.480 --> 00:58.680
No. We are in
Berwick-upon-Tweed,
00:58.720 --> 01:00.840
the most northerly town
in England.
01:00.880 --> 01:04.600
And our mission is to
set off across the border
01:04.640 --> 01:07.800
and then drive all the way
across Scotland
01:07.840 --> 01:09.720
to the Outer Hebrides.
01:09.760 --> 01:11.360
Now, this promises to be
01:11.400 --> 01:15.360
one of the most
beautiful drives
we have ever done.
01:15.400 --> 01:16.920
And on the way,
01:16.960 --> 01:21.120
we will be attempting
to answer a very
important question.
01:21.160 --> 01:22.640
Yeah. It's this...
01:22.680 --> 01:25.640
In Europe we listen
to American music,
01:25.680 --> 01:28.680
we buy American clothes,
we drink American beer,
01:28.720 --> 01:30.880
we wear American sunglasses.
01:30.920 --> 01:35.240
But American cars
have never caught on.
01:36.240 --> 01:37.240
Why?
01:38.920 --> 01:42.600
To try and find out,
each of us bought
an American car.
01:44.560 --> 01:47.280
And this is what I chose,
01:47.320 --> 01:52.360
a 19-foot-long
Lincoln Continental Mark V.
02:00.720 --> 02:02.880
Remember Jock Ewing
out of Dallas?
02:03.560 --> 02:04.640
He had one of these.
02:04.680 --> 02:07.000
Fat Frank Cannon,
the TV detective,
02:07.040 --> 02:08.280
he had something very similar,
02:08.320 --> 02:10.520
a Mark IV, basically the same.
02:10.560 --> 02:13.760
And what this means is,
is that when I was growing up,
02:13.800 --> 02:16.200
I would see a Lincoln
on TV every week
02:16.240 --> 02:17.600
and then I'd turn
to my dad and say,
02:17.640 --> 02:20.160
"Dad, can we have
a Ford Cortina?"
02:20.200 --> 02:21.840
Why didn't I want
one of these?
02:22.880 --> 02:24.320
Why didn't he?
02:25.560 --> 02:26.560
Ooh, hello.
02:41.560 --> 02:43.360
It's a... a Buick Riviera.
02:44.000 --> 02:45.360
Oh, yeah!
02:45.400 --> 02:47.840
With a...
with a self-opening boot.
Shall I shut that?
02:47.880 --> 02:48.960
When did that happen?
02:49.000 --> 02:50.320
-Just now as you pulled up.
-Yeah, okay,
02:50.360 --> 02:52.600
that's a feature of the model.
This is the legendary
02:52.640 --> 02:56.960
1971 Buick Riviera,
the boattail.
02:59.040 --> 03:00.080
What?
03:00.120 --> 03:02.240
No, I'm just...
I'm just... I'm stunned.
03:02.280 --> 03:04.320
Well, no, the thing is,
is we said,
03:04.360 --> 03:06.280
"Why did American cars
not catch on in Europe?"
03:06.320 --> 03:07.360
Yeah.
03:07.400 --> 03:08.720
Did this even
catch on in America?
03:08.760 --> 03:10.320
Well, that's the thing.
You see, the Riviera
03:10.360 --> 03:12.280
was Buick's answer
to the Ford Thunderbird.
03:12.320 --> 03:15.040
So from '63
they were making Rivieras.
And it was doing well.
03:15.080 --> 03:16.360
They were selling quite a few,
03:16.400 --> 03:17.920
-not as many as
the Thunderbird.
-Yeah.
03:17.960 --> 03:21.040
So in '71 they said,
"Let's make something
really striking."
03:21.080 --> 03:23.280
Really new,
really out there.
03:23.320 --> 03:25.720
And they made this
and everybody hated it.
03:25.760 --> 03:26.840
[Jeremy laughs]
03:26.880 --> 03:28.240
[Richard] Literally!
03:28.280 --> 03:31.320
Their advertising material said,
"It's like nothing else."
03:31.360 --> 03:33.800
And Americans went,
"Good." [chuckles]
03:33.840 --> 03:38.840
But... Jock Ewing,
Fat Frank Cannon,
celebrity all over it.
03:38.880 --> 03:39.880
[Richard clears throat]
03:40.600 --> 03:41.640
Clint Eastwood.
03:41.680 --> 03:43.880
-Really?
-Jeff Bridges.
03:43.920 --> 03:45.120
-Really?
-Yes.
03:45.160 --> 03:46.520
What, they both had this?
03:46.560 --> 03:48.280
-Bruce Willis.
-Bruce... Really?
03:48.320 --> 03:50.080
-So, Frank and Jock?
-Yes.
03:50.120 --> 03:51.840
Bruce, Clint and Jeff?
03:51.880 --> 03:52.920
[Richard] Yes!
03:52.960 --> 03:55.920
And we still ran around
in Europe going,
03:55.960 --> 03:57.560
"I don't know,
shall we have
an Allegro or...
03:57.600 --> 04:00.680
We had an Allegro Estate,
when this existed!
04:00.720 --> 04:01.800
What do you
suppose May's got?
04:01.840 --> 04:03.320
No, let me rephrase that.
04:03.360 --> 04:05.440
What sort of Cadillac
do you suppose
May's bought?
04:11.000 --> 04:12.360
[Jeremy] Eventually...
04:17.160 --> 04:19.760
after 20 feet of waiting,
04:25.040 --> 04:28.000
we got the answer.
04:28.040 --> 04:33.520
The car now arriving
at platforms four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine and ten...
04:35.600 --> 04:36.920
-May?
-Yes, sir?
04:36.960 --> 04:38.440
We guessed you'd
have a Cadillac.
04:38.480 --> 04:41.520
Not just a Cadillac.
This is a Cadillac
Coupe DeVille.
04:41.560 --> 04:44.280
-[Jeremy] Is it?
-[James] The Cadillac
of Cadillacs.
04:44.320 --> 04:46.960
Honestly, driving this,
I feel like Elvis Presley.
04:47.000 --> 04:48.200
What, dead on a lavatory?
04:48.240 --> 04:49.600
-[snorts]
-[laughs]
04:49.640 --> 04:52.480
Oh my God,
how much burgundy
can you get in one car?
04:52.520 --> 04:54.280
It's like an American
motel room.
04:54.320 --> 04:58.040
They must have scraped out
all the burgundy mines
in the world.
04:58.080 --> 04:59.960
[chuckles] "What color
shall we make the seats?"
05:00.000 --> 05:01.520
-[Jeremy] Burgundy.
-[Richard] "What about
the dash there?"
05:01.560 --> 05:03.320
-[Jeremy] Burgundy.
-[Richard]
"Ooh, good idea."
05:03.360 --> 05:06.960
But... the switch,
the button on the end
of the cruise control stalk...
05:07.000 --> 05:08.080
-[Richard] Burgundy
-[James] ...is burgundy.
05:08.120 --> 05:09.240
[laughter]
05:09.280 --> 05:11.320
I was hoping you
wouldn't notice that.
05:11.360 --> 05:12.760
[Jeremy]
Has it fallen off?
05:12.800 --> 05:15.760
Well, I'm gonna
have to admit to
being a bit of a clot.
05:15.800 --> 05:19.440
I was driving here
and I noticed in my mirror
05:19.480 --> 05:22.320
this piece of debris
flying away down the road.
05:22.360 --> 05:24.040
And I actually
thought to myself,
"Do you know what?
05:24.080 --> 05:25.200
That's remarkable.
05:25.240 --> 05:27.280
That piece of debris
is the same burgundy
05:27.320 --> 05:28.400
-as my car."
-[laughs]
05:28.440 --> 05:29.720
But without
actually thinking,
05:29.760 --> 05:31.480
-"I wonder if it
came from it?"
-[Richard] Oh!
05:31.520 --> 05:32.960
I tell you what
we should do,
05:33.000 --> 05:34.160
have a game
of Top Trumps.
05:34.200 --> 05:35.240
Engine?
05:35.280 --> 05:36.360
-Yes?
-[James] Mm-hmm?
05:36.400 --> 05:38.400
6.6-liter V8.
05:38.440 --> 05:40.640
-Aw, that's cute!
-6.6...
05:40.680 --> 05:42.160
-What? It's not cute--
-What does it use to
drive the car along?
05:42.200 --> 05:43.800
Is that what
starts the engine?
05:43.840 --> 05:45.120
Well, how big's
the engine in yours?
05:45.160 --> 05:46.880
[Richard] 7.5.
05:46.920 --> 05:49.040
-[James] 7.5 liters?
-7.5-liter V8!
05:49.080 --> 05:50.400
[James] Whooph!
05:50.440 --> 05:51.440
Go on!
05:51.880 --> 05:53.080
8.2.
05:53.120 --> 05:54.200
[Richard] Eight?
05:54.240 --> 05:55.880
[James] 8.2 liters.
05:55.920 --> 05:59.040
This is the biggest V8
ever fitted to a production car.
8.2 liters.
05:59.080 --> 06:00.280
[Jeremy] All right, then.
[clears throat]
06:00.320 --> 06:01.760
This is more efficient,
obviously.
06:01.800 --> 06:02.840
How many horsepower?
06:03.400 --> 06:04.760
-Mine?
-Mm-hmm.
06:04.800 --> 06:06.680
[clears throat] Hundred
and ninety.
06:07.920 --> 06:09.200
I don't think
horsepower matters.
06:09.240 --> 06:10.720
-How many horsepower?
-One hundred and eighty-one.
06:10.760 --> 06:12.200
-That's it?
-Yes.
06:12.240 --> 06:13.480
-From 6.6 liters.
-[clears throat]
06:13.520 --> 06:15.000
I don't know
how they did that.
06:15.040 --> 06:19.560
My seven-and-a-half-liter
V8 lump developed
250 horsepower.
06:19.600 --> 06:21.240
-Two hundred and fifty?
-[Richard] Yeah.
06:21.280 --> 06:22.720
So that's a rocket ship.
06:27.560 --> 06:31.080
[Jeremy] Eager to begin
our important journey
of discovery,
06:31.120 --> 06:35.080
we fired up
the 10,000-pound Lincoln,
06:35.120 --> 06:37.880
the 17,000-pound Buick
06:37.920 --> 06:39.560
and Mount Burgundy
06:42.400 --> 06:44.040
and set off.
06:45.720 --> 06:46.880
This is it.
06:47.840 --> 06:49.960
[rock music playing]
07:11.440 --> 07:14.920
Scottish border.
We're entering McScotland.
07:21.880 --> 07:23.560
[Richard] This is
a homecoming for this car
07:23.600 --> 07:26.760
because Mr. Buick
of Buick was Scottish.
07:29.760 --> 07:30.960
You're going home!
07:44.880 --> 07:47.240
Jeremy Clarkson,
are you aware
07:47.280 --> 07:50.160
that your car appears to be
talking as it goes along?
07:50.640 --> 07:52.000
[rattling]
07:52.840 --> 07:54.640
[Jeremy]
No, I'm unaware of that.
07:54.680 --> 07:58.840
The front bumper is 17 miles
in front of where I'm sitting.
08:03.000 --> 08:05.280
We powered along,
dumbstruck
08:05.320 --> 08:08.120
at what we'd
missed out on
in our childhoods.
08:10.800 --> 08:13.560
I seem to remember
that in 1970,
08:13.600 --> 08:17.240
the heater was
an optional extra
in an Austin.
08:17.280 --> 08:18.560
The heater was.
08:18.600 --> 08:22.320
Whereas this has got
electrically adjustable seats,
08:22.360 --> 08:24.560
electric windows,
electric quarter light,
08:24.600 --> 08:28.240
cruise control... I mean,
the Starship Enterprise
didn't have cruise control.
08:28.280 --> 08:31.600
I mean, look at this,
automatic climate control.
08:31.640 --> 08:34.040
You can set it
on economy settings
08:34.080 --> 08:37.240
or an auto setting,
or bi-level.
08:37.280 --> 08:38.440
I mean, bi-level.
08:38.480 --> 08:40.640
We wouldn't have even
known what that meant.
08:45.840 --> 08:48.240
I mean, if somebody
had showed me a window
08:48.280 --> 08:52.920
that moved about using
electricity in the 1970s,
08:52.960 --> 08:54.960
I'd have fainted.
08:55.000 --> 08:56.520
Check out my lights!
08:57.920 --> 09:01.720
I've got garage doors
for my headlights.
09:01.760 --> 09:03.520
What would my childhood
have been like
09:03.560 --> 09:06.480
if I'd wafted about
in the back of
one of these
09:06.520 --> 09:09.280
instead of a Ford Anglia
with a hole in the floor?
09:09.320 --> 09:11.760
My dad would have
been my absolute hero.
09:11.800 --> 09:14.200
I'd have had a bright
and sunny outlook.
09:15.760 --> 09:16.760
Yeah...
09:19.680 --> 09:22.440
[Jeremy] As we approached
the outskirts of Edinburgh,
09:24.000 --> 09:27.760
we were honored with
the traditional local welcome.
09:27.800 --> 09:31.200
McRaining now.
That's predictable.
We've been in Scotland
09:32.240 --> 09:34.320
for, what, 20 minutes?
09:34.360 --> 09:37.560
Presumably
the Scottish police can't say
"You're nicked, sunshine"
09:37.600 --> 09:39.520
because nobody would know
what that meant.
09:39.560 --> 09:41.040
[laughs]
09:42.880 --> 09:44.480
[squeaking]
09:45.840 --> 09:49.040
Not good.
The news is not good.
09:49.080 --> 09:52.040
[Jeremy] We then
decided to head
for the city center
09:55.240 --> 09:57.520
to see how our cars
would cope
09:57.560 --> 09:59.760
with the steep
and narrow cobbled streets.
10:08.920 --> 10:10.640
Wait a minute.
10:12.520 --> 10:14.240
Oh, my God!
10:15.720 --> 10:18.040
[gears grinding]
10:22.160 --> 10:24.600
This cannot be done.
10:24.640 --> 10:29.760
The issues with
my bovine differential
soon caused another problem.
10:31.000 --> 10:33.640
[Richard] That's me.
That's me boiling over.
10:43.280 --> 10:45.720
Chaps, I am
boiling over.
10:47.800 --> 10:51.800
[Jeremy] Crikey.
It's like John in Mongolia.
10:51.840 --> 10:54.040
After I'd finally
conquered the hill,
10:54.080 --> 10:57.520
Hammond topped up
with some precious
Scottish water.
11:00.600 --> 11:04.920
And wondering how
Frank Cannon ever
solved anything,
11:04.960 --> 11:08.040
we resumed our journey
through the city center.
11:13.560 --> 11:16.480
[Jeremy] Oh, God above.
You see what's ahead
of us here?
11:19.440 --> 11:21.960
Yep. Right.
11:22.000 --> 11:24.400
Mm, that is a bit
bum-squeaky there, Clarkson.
11:26.680 --> 11:28.120
[man speaking indistinctly]
11:28.160 --> 11:30.560
How close am I
to that wall?
11:31.680 --> 11:33.280
About that.
11:34.800 --> 11:36.600
[Jeremy] Um,
right, I'm going to admit,
11:36.640 --> 11:40.000
my car's a little bit
too big for Edinburgh.
11:40.040 --> 11:41.480
I think we can
put this down
11:41.520 --> 11:44.160
to Edinburgh's fault
rather than the cars.
11:44.200 --> 11:45.640
[Jeremy] No chance.
11:46.800 --> 11:50.680
What if...
we temporarily
move this bin?
11:53.040 --> 11:56.440
[grunts and groans]
11:56.480 --> 11:58.800
So if I back up now...
11:58.840 --> 11:59.960
-If you back up now...
-Yes.
12:00.000 --> 12:01.160
...you can swing around,
you can just push...
12:01.200 --> 12:03.000
-Mine's boiling!
-Oh, sh... It is.
12:03.040 --> 12:04.600
[James] Oh dear, oh dear.
12:04.640 --> 12:06.920
[Richard] Oh, no.
12:06.960 --> 12:09.200
[Jeremy] It's singing
the song of death.
12:09.720 --> 12:11.680
[Richard] Oh. Oh.
12:11.720 --> 12:14.920
[radiator humming loudly]
12:17.200 --> 12:18.400
Stand back.
12:18.440 --> 12:19.400
[hums the same note
as Richard's car radiator]
12:21.600 --> 12:25.440
[Jeremy] Leaving Hammond
to scour Scotland
for more water,
12:25.480 --> 12:27.880
I squeezed through the gap
12:27.920 --> 12:31.360
and went off
to get us all
a zesty drink.
12:37.840 --> 12:38.880
Wooph.
12:48.200 --> 12:51.640
Right. All right,
what's happened here,
is my door
12:51.680 --> 12:54.560
is stopping
my door opening.
12:54.600 --> 12:58.560
How's that happened?
Why is it doing this to me?
13:05.600 --> 13:09.800
How did Frank Cannon get in?
I can't get in.
[grunts and groans]
13:09.840 --> 13:12.560
[woman laughing]
13:13.320 --> 13:15.920
Smooth. [groans]
13:17.560 --> 13:18.640
Beautiful.
13:20.720 --> 13:22.120
Yeah, it was because we...
It wasn't blocking the step...
13:22.160 --> 13:24.080
Yeah, but that was...
It was further
along that way.
13:24.120 --> 13:25.800
-Was it?
-That was further back
and this was... Yeah...
13:25.840 --> 13:27.360
I think the other one
was in front of this one.
13:27.400 --> 13:29.240
-Oh, just put it
that way and...
-It was.
13:29.280 --> 13:31.120
How am I gonna...
13:32.360 --> 13:33.440
I can't...
13:33.920 --> 13:36.520
Oh, sh...
13:36.560 --> 13:38.880
The whole end
has come off.
13:42.680 --> 13:43.760
[sighs]
13:47.640 --> 13:49.960
Having established
that American cars
13:50.000 --> 13:53.240
do have some issues
in city centers,
13:53.280 --> 13:56.040
we headed back
to a three-lane highway.
13:59.080 --> 14:02.320
Whoa!
Cool bridge with mist.
Look at that!
14:12.040 --> 14:16.800
And soon we arrived
at the location for
our second test.
14:20.360 --> 14:22.800
Scotland's Nurburgring.
14:22.840 --> 14:26.960
It's Brickyard, it's Monza.
14:27.000 --> 14:30.040
The fearsome Knockhill.
14:32.920 --> 14:34.640
The idea is very simple.
14:34.680 --> 14:38.920
We shall use a Scottish car
to set a benchmark time
round the track
14:38.960 --> 14:43.680
and then we'll try
and beat it in our two-door
V8 sports coupes.
14:43.720 --> 14:48.000
The only problem we have
is which Scottish car
shall we use?
14:48.040 --> 14:51.600
The rear-engine
911-style Imp?
14:51.640 --> 14:54.000
The Talbot? The Avenger?
14:54.040 --> 14:59.480
The AC three-liter ME?
Or perhaps the little Scamp?
14:59.520 --> 15:03.160
It's a smorgasbord
of excellence, that is.
It really is.
15:06.480 --> 15:11.160
After much head-scratching,
we settled on the hot Hillman.
15:11.200 --> 15:15.200
And strapped an old friend
into the driving seat.
15:18.680 --> 15:21.760
Right, here we go.
It's a flying lap.
This is what we're timing.
15:27.200 --> 15:30.280
What we've got here is
a 1.5-liter big-valve engine.
15:32.760 --> 15:36.840
Lowered front suspension,
heavy-duty rear suspension,
93 horsepowers.
15:37.840 --> 15:40.560
Top speed?
108 miles an hour.
15:46.200 --> 15:47.280
[James] It needs more gears.
15:47.320 --> 15:48.640
-It does!
-[laughter]
15:48.680 --> 15:49.920
Yeah, I'd say...
I'd say that's what
it's lacking.
15:52.120 --> 15:56.320
That is the cream
of Scottish excellence
in the 1970s.
15:58.320 --> 15:59.560
Here she comes.
16:03.400 --> 16:08.240
Abbie crossed the line
with a time of 1:13.98.
16:11.400 --> 16:14.440
And then,
with the stopwatch reset,
16:15.720 --> 16:19.720
I unleashed my slab
of Detroit heavy metal.
16:19.760 --> 16:22.880
Building up to cross
the start-finish line,
16:22.920 --> 16:24.440
I'm hoping,
at about 70 miles an hour.
16:26.840 --> 16:28.640
Didn't make it.
Sixty-eight. That'll do.
16:32.800 --> 16:33.840
Turning in now.
16:35.400 --> 16:36.840
Oh, Christ.
16:36.880 --> 16:39.920
Oh, I've fallen onto
the passenger seat
slightly there.
16:39.960 --> 16:42.040
That's one of the...
Oh, heavens!
16:42.080 --> 16:43.480
I'm now...
16:44.840 --> 16:47.760
I'm now rolling through there.
16:47.800 --> 16:52.320
Oh, no, I may have
just slightly gone off.
But I'm back on again.
16:57.920 --> 17:00.080
Oh, no, my seat
has collapsed.
17:05.640 --> 17:07.040
Whoa!
17:09.120 --> 17:10.560
A lot of...
A lot of lock.
17:14.280 --> 17:18.240
Come on. Speed!
Now and power.
17:20.200 --> 17:22.240
75! That was nearly 80!
17:23.960 --> 17:27.440
After this festival
of roll and understeer,
17:27.480 --> 17:32.280
we figured James'
8.2-liter Cadillac
would be faster.
17:33.680 --> 17:34.800
However...
17:40.320 --> 17:43.000
[chuckling] Come on!
17:43.040 --> 17:47.040
I can't believe
an engine this big
can bog down.
17:47.080 --> 17:51.440
[Jeremy] This issue,
coupled with James'
leisurely cornering style...
17:51.480 --> 17:54.080
It says "brake."
I will follow that advice.
17:56.880 --> 18:00.520
...and his legendary
memory for track layout...
18:00.560 --> 18:03.480
What happens here?
I can't quite remember.
18:03.520 --> 18:07.000
...didn't result
in the hottest of laps.
18:07.040 --> 18:09.080
Nice.
18:09.120 --> 18:12.000
[Jeremy] So,
with Carroll Shelby's
work done,
18:14.000 --> 18:17.800
it was up to the Buick
to make America great again.
18:17.840 --> 18:19.840
Pulling a mighty
70 miles an hour.
18:19.880 --> 18:22.280
And across
the line to start.
18:26.280 --> 18:28.800
Let's just roll it in.
18:30.080 --> 18:33.680
[whooping, laughs]
18:33.720 --> 18:35.000
Ooh, quite a lot
of understeer.
18:39.360 --> 18:42.760
It looks like
an American car in the movies,
which is exactly what I wanted.
18:48.600 --> 18:50.160
Ooh, I've... Yeah.
18:54.160 --> 18:55.920
[Richard]
With our laps complete,
18:55.960 --> 18:59.240
it was time to see whether
American firepower
18:59.280 --> 19:01.080
had beaten
the Scottish Hillman.
19:02.720 --> 19:04.320
[Jeremy] The time
we have to beat...
19:04.360 --> 19:06.480
-Yes?
-[Jeremy] 1:13.98.
19:06.520 --> 19:07.560
Mm-hmm.
19:07.600 --> 19:09.280
-James May...
-Yes?
19:09.320 --> 19:11.800
1:31.99.
19:11.840 --> 19:15.720
Seventeen,18 seconds slower
than a Hillman Avenger.
19:15.760 --> 19:17.360
And you had...
19:17.400 --> 19:19.720
-nearly seven liters more?
-Yes.
19:19.760 --> 19:22.680
I did it in 1:21.47.
19:22.720 --> 19:24.280
-Oh, dear.
-Richard Hammond...
19:24.320 --> 19:25.400
Yes?
19:25.440 --> 19:26.920
1...
19:27.920 --> 19:30.000
-18...
-Oh!
19:30.040 --> 19:31.280
...point 77.
19:31.320 --> 19:32.960
[James] What does that prove?
19:33.000 --> 19:35.680
Well, it's interesting.
I thought mine would be
faster than that.
19:35.720 --> 19:37.360
I didn't think mine
would be faster.
19:37.400 --> 19:38.920
Well, you weren't
driving very quickly.
19:38.960 --> 19:40.200
Well, it's as quickly
as it would go.
19:40.240 --> 19:41.640
And it's a comfortable...
It's just comfortable.
19:41.680 --> 19:44.520
You've got one dial in your car
which is a speedometer.
19:44.560 --> 19:46.560
-Yes.
-Which is the one thing
you don't need.
19:46.600 --> 19:47.680
-[chuckles]
-Yes.
19:47.720 --> 19:49.520
Well, so the car
doesn't need it.
19:49.560 --> 19:50.880
[Richard] Not interested
in that one!
19:50.920 --> 19:52.280
But what I find funny,
19:52.320 --> 19:55.960
it is the first track I think
you've ever driven around
19:56.000 --> 19:57.600
extensively
and not hit anything.
19:57.640 --> 19:59.200
-[James] Yes!
-God, I didn't.
19:59.240 --> 20:01.720
And your car is
the correct way up.
I think we can all...
20:01.760 --> 20:03.160
-Thank you.
-We can all applaud that.
20:03.200 --> 20:04.520
Ladies and gentlemen,
Richard Hammond.
20:04.560 --> 20:06.760
Many years we've done this
and... I'm delighted to...
20:06.800 --> 20:10.040
Normally, a paramedic
would now be cutting off
his trousers...
20:10.080 --> 20:12.280
-[Richard] Yeah.
-...and he'd be going
to the hospital--
20:12.320 --> 20:14.560
-[imitates ambulance]
-I'd be on the phone
to his wife,
20:14.600 --> 20:16.320
-"Hi, Mindy.
Yeah, I know, I..."
-Again.
20:16.360 --> 20:18.560
-"He's done it again."
-[phone pings]
20:20.560 --> 20:22.040
Oh.
20:22.080 --> 20:23.560
A text from Mr. Wilman.
20:23.600 --> 20:26.960
Um... "Apparently
there's some kind of
virus going round."
20:27.000 --> 20:28.560
-Oh, no, so...
-Well, where's he been?
20:28.600 --> 20:30.160
Somebody's let him
see a newspaper again,
haven't they?
20:30.200 --> 20:31.280
[Jeremy laughs]
20:31.320 --> 20:33.760
It is dangerous
when he reads the news.
20:33.800 --> 20:34.800
Oh...
20:36.120 --> 20:38.360
"You are not able to
stay in a hotel this evening.
20:38.400 --> 20:42.800
I have therefore found you
alternative accommodation
at the track."
20:43.600 --> 20:44.680
Where?
20:52.960 --> 20:55.800
Oh, dear...
20:55.840 --> 20:58.640
[Richard] It might be fun,
a bit of caravanning.
21:05.120 --> 21:06.960
[Jeremy]
Once we'd settled in,
21:07.000 --> 21:12.480
we sat down to
a traditional Scottish dinner
prepared by our resident chef.
21:15.960 --> 21:17.680
-[Richard] What is it?
-[James] Pork chop. That's...
21:17.720 --> 21:19.360
-What's that there?
-That's peas.
21:19.400 --> 21:20.440
What's this?
21:20.480 --> 21:22.080
That's a carrot...
I think.
21:22.120 --> 21:24.280
-Well, thank you very much...
-What, a deep-fried carrot?
21:24.320 --> 21:25.520
-Yes.
-This isn't a carrot!
21:25.560 --> 21:26.760
It's a sausage!
21:26.800 --> 21:28.400
Oh, it's... Oh,
maybe it is a sausage.
21:28.440 --> 21:29.880
There was a sausage
in there somewhere.
21:31.600 --> 21:33.160
[muffled] Mm.
All right, isn't it?
21:33.200 --> 21:35.360
I can feel myself
getting healthier.
21:35.400 --> 21:36.760
-Mm.
-Yeah
21:36.800 --> 21:38.480
-My heart is saying "thank you."
-What are the peas like?
21:38.520 --> 21:39.920
-The peas?
-Well, the...
21:39.960 --> 21:41.320
It's a...
It's a unit of peas.
21:41.360 --> 21:42.480
[Richard] Oh, yeah.
21:42.520 --> 21:44.080
Well, it makes it
a lot easier to eat.
21:44.120 --> 21:45.800
-It does. Peas
are so difficult to eat...
-Peas fall off, yeah.
21:45.840 --> 21:47.960
...but when you
deep-fry them like this...
21:48.000 --> 21:51.600
It brings out
the sweetness of the peas.
21:51.640 --> 21:54.320
[Jeremy] After dinner was over
and we'd been sick,
21:54.360 --> 21:58.680
we decided to
watch some motorsport
on Mr. Wilman's laptop.
22:00.920 --> 22:03.880
How many has he ordered?
Ooh, that's never gonna fit.
22:03.920 --> 22:07.040
Then... Have you noticed?
This is his keyboard,
Mr. Wilman's.
22:07.080 --> 22:10.880
Look at the A,
worn down, the N
22:10.920 --> 22:12.680
and the L.
22:12.720 --> 22:15.320
Maybe he's been emailing
his friend Alan a lot.
22:15.360 --> 22:18.840
[laughs]
22:18.880 --> 22:20.360
Right!
22:20.400 --> 22:23.160
[Jeremy] Anyway,
I know a lot of people
watching will think
22:23.200 --> 22:26.040
that it was stupid to put
our big Yank tanks,
22:26.080 --> 22:29.440
um, on a European circuit
against a European car.
22:29.480 --> 22:31.440
Obviously the European car
was gonna be faster.
22:31.480 --> 22:33.280
-Not so...
-There is history with this.
22:33.320 --> 22:35.800
There is. And actually,
the marvelous thing is,
22:35.840 --> 22:40.400
at Goodwood race track,
they still run races
using the cars...
22:40.440 --> 22:43.040
-Yeah. And look at it...
-[Jeremy] ...from the '60s.
And here we go.
22:43.080 --> 22:45.240
There's every different
type of car here.
22:45.280 --> 22:46.840
You've got the big
Studebaker there.
22:46.880 --> 22:48.840
[James] That's a heavy thing.
22:48.880 --> 22:51.360
[Jeremy] That's a Ford Galaxy.
22:51.400 --> 22:52.920
And then you've got
a Lotus Cortina.
22:52.960 --> 22:55.560
Two Lotus Cortinas.
You've got Minis.
22:55.600 --> 22:58.240
And the racing
is just breathtaking.
22:59.920 --> 23:03.200
[Richard] Look at it!
23:03.240 --> 23:07.480
[Jeremy] Look at
that four-wheel drift
in the Lotus Cortina.
23:07.520 --> 23:10.920
So those Lotus Cortinas,
they had 130 horsepower?
23:10.960 --> 23:12.600
-[Richard] Yeah.
-[Jeremy] What did
the Galaxy have?
23:12.640 --> 23:14.400
Four hundred
and twenty-five! [chuckles]
23:14.440 --> 23:17.320
[Jeremy] Four hundred
and twenty-five?
And you can see plain as day.
23:17.360 --> 23:19.120
There we go. Ready.
23:19.160 --> 23:21.000
[Richard] He's just
coming up against
this great slab of Galaxy.
23:21.040 --> 23:22.720
-"Can I get through?"
-[Jeremy] And it is...
"No, I can't."
23:22.760 --> 23:24.120
[Richard] Look at it go!
He's gone!
23:24.160 --> 23:25.880
[Jeremy] He's just gone
'cause he's got more power.
23:25.920 --> 23:27.560
[Richard] And then
he closes up again
'cause there's another corner.
23:27.600 --> 23:29.760
"Right,
I'm gonna have another go.
I'm gonna keep scrapping."
23:29.800 --> 23:32.200
And then as soon as
it opens out, he's gone.
23:33.840 --> 23:36.040
-[Jeremy] And then now--
-[Richard] Just solid gone.
23:36.080 --> 23:38.200
Look, American cars,
is what I'm trying to say,
23:38.240 --> 23:39.440
American cars
like ours aren't
23:39.480 --> 23:40.920
-necessarily slower...
-No.
23:40.960 --> 23:43.440
[Jeremy] ...round a track
than European cars,
23:43.480 --> 23:44.720
'cause they're faster
on the straight.
23:44.760 --> 23:46.320
[all] Oh!
23:46.360 --> 23:47.640
[Richard]
There's a Mini!
There's a Mini!
23:47.680 --> 23:50.840
That's about 130 horsepower,
that's all he's got!
23:50.880 --> 23:52.280
[all laugh]
23:52.320 --> 23:57.800
That is a Terrier at a Doberman.
425 horsepower versus 130!
23:57.840 --> 23:59.120
Look, there he goes again.
Yeah, and a wave, yeah!
23:59.160 --> 24:00.480
-He's actually waving to him.
-[laughs]
24:05.880 --> 24:07.440
[Jeremy] The next morning
we were told
24:07.480 --> 24:10.400
that due to the COVID issues,
24:10.440 --> 24:14.400
we'd have to take
our caravans with us.
24:14.440 --> 24:18.160
So, while a man
fitted the towbars,
24:20.080 --> 24:24.280
we set about making them
as stylish as our cars.
24:29.600 --> 24:32.040
What I've done to
bring out and enhance
24:32.080 --> 24:37.440
the Americanness of my rig
is turn my caravan into...
24:37.480 --> 24:41.960
well, the most American
and the only cool
caravan ever built.
24:42.000 --> 24:43.040
It's an Airstream.
24:45.960 --> 24:47.960
Look at that! Yeah!
24:53.400 --> 24:55.800
I've gone for
the low-rider look.
24:59.200 --> 25:02.320
This is a sleek rig.
It is big, though.
25:02.360 --> 25:06.800
One foot longer
than a London bus.
But less sporty.
25:09.400 --> 25:11.960
You got to admit,
it's pretty retro-brilliant.
25:12.000 --> 25:16.520
No, it looks like a caravan
covered in tin foil
for no obvious reason.
25:18.480 --> 25:21.040
He really is
a deluded little man,
isn't he?
25:21.080 --> 25:23.000
Now, I've had
the best idea here, viewers,
25:23.040 --> 25:26.640
because the problem
with caravans is that
they are unsightly.
25:26.680 --> 25:28.280
They all park
together in a field.
25:28.320 --> 25:30.040
They're all a load
of white boxes.
25:30.080 --> 25:31.640
It looks like
a load of Tupperware.
25:31.680 --> 25:36.520
So, I've painted mine
black and white
and given it an udder.
25:41.680 --> 25:43.080
[laughs]
25:43.120 --> 25:44.920
It does indeed
have "a" udder!
25:44.960 --> 25:47.480
[laughs]
25:47.520 --> 25:50.440
With our massive crew convoy
bringing up the rear,
26:00.400 --> 26:05.560
we soldiered on
through the constant
Caledonian downpour.
26:11.680 --> 26:15.600
Uh, can we stop for fuel soon?
I'm getting a bit low.
26:15.640 --> 26:18.160
Um, I don't know how
you used it up on the track,
26:18.200 --> 26:21.240
but yes, we shall find
"an" petrol station.
26:29.440 --> 26:31.200
Oh, this has got
very Scottish!
26:31.240 --> 26:34.600
Oh, it's...
it's really cold,
really cold now.
26:34.640 --> 26:35.800
[Richard] Yeah.
26:35.840 --> 26:37.680
[Jeremy] Having established
he'd been doing
26:37.720 --> 26:41.120
a polar-bear-friendly
eight miles to the gallon,
26:41.160 --> 26:44.200
James announced it was time
for his morning ablutions,
26:44.240 --> 26:48.600
which meant he had to
put his car in the car park.
26:48.640 --> 26:51.760
I need to go
that way with that arm.
26:51.800 --> 26:54.080
That one goes that way,
or something like that.
27:02.200 --> 27:03.520
[Jeremy]
What is he doing?
27:03.560 --> 27:05.800
How has he managed
to get it so far... [laughs]
27:07.400 --> 27:10.480
In his defense,
it is quite a tight car park.
27:12.360 --> 27:14.520
Having decided
that was good enough,
27:14.560 --> 27:17.120
James went off
to do his business.
27:17.160 --> 27:20.160
And we settled down
to our customary wait.
27:22.800 --> 27:26.720
I lose about an hour a day
waiting for him to have his...
27:26.760 --> 27:28.240
Got time for
a roast dinner, mate.
27:28.280 --> 27:29.880
By the time
he's read The Telegraph,
done the crossword.
27:29.920 --> 27:31.720
And if he does
the crossword.
27:31.760 --> 27:33.360
Yeah, I'd say
you've got an hour.
27:40.520 --> 27:41.560
What?
27:48.200 --> 27:49.880
This is brilliant.
27:50.480 --> 27:51.520
[pants]
27:53.080 --> 27:55.960
[Jeremy] Why do they use
such long hoses
in fire engines?
27:56.000 --> 27:58.520
Well, in case the fire's
a long way away.
27:58.560 --> 28:00.680
[grunts with exertion]
28:00.720 --> 28:02.320
Right. [grunts]
28:02.360 --> 28:05.800
Oh, this is...
[squeals with excitement]
28:05.840 --> 28:07.600
We could always tell him
that the roof seal
28:07.640 --> 28:08.680
-was leaking.
-[Jeremy] Yes.
28:10.640 --> 28:11.840
Yes.
28:11.880 --> 28:14.320
[Jeremy] If you've just
joined us,
28:14.360 --> 28:17.160
it's a difficult story
to unpack.
28:17.200 --> 28:19.840
Right now he's
probably on three-down.
28:19.880 --> 28:21.920
You know when
they used to shout "Scramble!"
in the war?
28:21.960 --> 28:23.000
-Yes.
-No.
28:23.040 --> 28:24.360
Oh, can you
imagine if he was
28:24.400 --> 28:25.520
-a Hurricane pilot?
-No.
28:28.480 --> 28:30.560
[Jeremy] I reckon
you're about there, Hammond.
28:31.360 --> 28:33.600
[pants with exertion]
28:33.640 --> 28:38.920
We assumed James wouldn't
discover our mischief
until he drove off.
28:38.960 --> 28:42.720
However, we didn't
have to wait that long.
28:55.680 --> 28:57.160
[laughing]
28:57.200 --> 28:59.440
[chuckling] He's got
to be cross!
29:00.760 --> 29:02.000
[James] Jesus!
29:02.040 --> 29:04.240
[Jeremy] The roof light
was open on your caravan.
29:04.280 --> 29:06.640
-[Richard] Yeah.
-[James] You're so funny.
29:14.080 --> 29:17.560
Well, while I admire your
ingenuity and your application,
29:17.600 --> 29:20.920
that was a low blow
on a day like this.
29:20.960 --> 29:24.360
I was already wet.
And you could have taken
my personal effects out.
29:24.400 --> 29:28.680
Isn't it funny how three people
can have very different views
of the same thing?
29:28.720 --> 29:31.480
I thought it was
a really good idea.
29:31.520 --> 29:33.720
Mm. Same here.
29:33.760 --> 29:36.480
And most of
your personal effects
were rubber anyway.
29:36.520 --> 29:39.680
[laughs]
29:39.720 --> 29:44.120
Oh, God, it's dripping water.
How can my windscreen
be leaking?
29:44.800 --> 29:47.080
Like I give a toss.
29:47.120 --> 29:50.000
[laughs] Ooh!
29:54.680 --> 29:58.000
[Jeremy] A few miles later,
we turned off the main road,
29:58.040 --> 30:01.040
heading for the remote
center of Scotland
30:01.080 --> 30:03.800
to do some scientific research.
30:05.040 --> 30:07.600
Now, yes, we do like our cars.
30:07.640 --> 30:09.800
They're charismatic
and they're interesting.
30:09.840 --> 30:12.040
And James and Richard
currently own American cars.
30:12.080 --> 30:13.360
They've both got Teslas.
30:13.400 --> 30:15.240
But we are not
suggesting for a minute
30:15.280 --> 30:19.120
that all American cars are good
because they're not.
30:19.160 --> 30:21.880
Some of them are terrible.
30:21.920 --> 30:26.200
And what we're doing now
is plunging deep into
the Scottish countryside
30:26.240 --> 30:29.320
to conduct
an important experiment,
which is this...
30:29.360 --> 30:31.840
Who made the worst cars,
30:31.880 --> 30:35.840
the Soviet Union
or the Americans?
30:46.040 --> 30:51.360
Representing the Soviet Union,
we have the FSO Polonez 1.6,
30:51.400 --> 30:57.040
the Lada Riva 1200
and the Zastava GTL 55.
30:57.080 --> 31:00.120
And representing
the United States in America,
31:00.160 --> 31:04.600
we have the Chrysler Voyager,
the Chrysler PT Cruiser,
31:04.640 --> 31:10.000
which is making me feel sick,
and the Pontiac Aztek.
31:10.040 --> 31:13.000
What we're gonna do
is have a race
around this field,
31:13.040 --> 31:15.120
us three
in the American cars
31:15.160 --> 31:20.160
and three of our most junior,
and therefore expendable,
researchers in the Soviet cars.
31:20.200 --> 31:21.560
Rules are simple,
31:21.600 --> 31:24.160
the first one out
is the winner.
31:24.200 --> 31:25.320
[James] Hang on,
you got that wrong.
31:25.360 --> 31:26.840
What?
31:26.880 --> 31:28.240
It's not the first...
"The first one out
is the winner"?
31:28.280 --> 31:30.120
-That doesn't make sense.
-Yes, it does.
31:30.160 --> 31:32.320
[Jeremy] No,
there's no motor race in history
where the first one out won it.
31:32.360 --> 31:33.840
No, we're trying
to find the worst car.
31:33.880 --> 31:37.280
The worst car will be
the first one to conk out.
31:37.320 --> 31:38.480
-Oh.
-Oh, no, actually...
31:38.520 --> 31:39.760
-[Richard] Yeah.
-He's got a point, hasn't he?
31:39.800 --> 31:41.640
[James] Then the loser
is the winner.
31:42.440 --> 31:43.880
-Yes.
-[James] Got it.
31:43.920 --> 31:44.960
-[Jeremy] Right.
-Good.
31:51.240 --> 31:54.320
[Richard] And so,
under a blanket
of light drizzle,
31:55.640 --> 31:57.680
the Cold War shootout began.
32:11.560 --> 32:14.880
This, viewers,
is the world's first
minivan, in fact.
32:16.400 --> 32:18.280
But the most important thing
you need to know about it
32:18.320 --> 32:22.280
is that in the Euro NCAP
Frontal Collision Test,
32:22.320 --> 32:26.280
it scored... Where's
the gear stick? Zero.
32:30.040 --> 32:33.040
[Jeremy] The only people
who bought these Cruisers
were those people
32:33.080 --> 32:35.520
that you find in offices
with a sign
on their desk saying,
32:35.560 --> 32:38.920
"You don't have to be mad
to work here, but it helps."
32:43.640 --> 32:47.640
I've got a 3.4-liter V6,
185 brake horsepower.
32:48.880 --> 32:50.760
And that's the end
of the good news.
32:50.800 --> 32:53.760
Everything else about
this car is disgusting.
32:58.240 --> 33:02.240
At its launch in 2000,
they unveiled the first car
33:02.280 --> 33:05.480
and the audience
gasped and then laughed!
33:08.160 --> 33:11.840
When Walter White
in Breaking Badwas given
one of these to drive,
33:11.880 --> 33:14.520
the car was as carefully cast
as the actor.
33:14.560 --> 33:17.080
They wanted to
show him as a loser.
33:17.120 --> 33:20.880
And nothing says "loser"
better than a Pontiac Aztek.
33:20.920 --> 33:22.360
Ha-ha! Lada!
33:26.080 --> 33:28.840
[James] I then decided
that to win this race
33:28.880 --> 33:33.720
I'd have to hit other cars,
and hope I came off worst.
33:35.760 --> 33:37.080
Here I go.
33:39.400 --> 33:41.880
Oh, shit!
Didn't quite do it.
33:44.080 --> 33:48.040
And soon, my colleagues
had the same idea.
33:48.080 --> 33:49.240
Have some of this.
33:51.520 --> 33:54.800
Hammond trying to
smash the Aztek up.
33:54.840 --> 33:58.720
It's impossible to tell,
such is the styling.
33:58.760 --> 34:00.800
I must somehow ram
into the Aztek
34:00.840 --> 34:04.840
in such a way,
I break my own car.
34:04.880 --> 34:09.040
Here it comes!
It's an accident! Here it is!
34:09.760 --> 34:11.960
[laughing]
34:12.000 --> 34:15.080
[Jeremy] Oh, no,
the PT Cruiser is alive!
34:17.520 --> 34:20.600
[Jeremy] I continued
throwing myself
at the heavy Aztek
34:25.560 --> 34:30.480
until I achieved
the exact opposite
of what I wanted.
34:30.520 --> 34:34.440
[Richard] Oh! Oh!
It died. Uh-oh.
34:34.480 --> 34:37.880
It is, I believe,
quite definitely
on fire now.
34:37.920 --> 34:39.520
Gentlemen, we may have
a winner.
34:40.400 --> 34:42.320
[Jeremy] Oh, no. No!
34:42.360 --> 34:43.800
[Richard] Yes!
34:45.000 --> 34:46.200
Yes!
34:49.600 --> 34:53.120
[Jeremy] It then became
a fight to the death
for second place.
34:54.800 --> 34:56.920
[James] Little commie bastard!
34:59.200 --> 35:01.160
[Jeremy] Target acquired.
35:02.480 --> 35:04.280
Accident!
35:04.320 --> 35:07.360
And soon, I got
the wrong result again.
35:10.360 --> 35:11.480
No!
35:14.240 --> 35:16.000
No!
35:16.040 --> 35:18.160
He's broken. [groans]
35:22.000 --> 35:25.440
[blows raspberry]
That was a bad one.
35:25.480 --> 35:27.680
[Jeremy] Why is
my car still working?
35:27.720 --> 35:30.960
We all know this is
the worst thing
ever made by man.
35:34.800 --> 35:37.120
Come on, take me.
Take me out.
35:37.800 --> 35:40.040
That FSO is solid.
35:40.080 --> 35:42.680
Yes! That's more like it.
35:42.720 --> 35:44.840
Ooh. That's a big hit.
35:46.560 --> 35:48.160
But yet again...
35:49.920 --> 35:53.920
Is that the FSO down?
The FSO down and out?
35:53.960 --> 35:55.760
This is a disaster!
35:55.800 --> 35:58.320
And to make things worse...
36:01.880 --> 36:03.840
[James] No, May cocks it up.
36:06.280 --> 36:09.120
[Jeremy] Now just James
and I were left.
36:09.160 --> 36:15.200
The two Chryslers
fighting it out for
the honor of last place.
36:15.240 --> 36:18.920
Both cars were now too damaged
to catch one another.
36:18.960 --> 36:21.200
So it was a case
of waiting to see...
36:22.600 --> 36:24.800
who would die first.
36:25.600 --> 36:29.280
Break! Break!
36:29.320 --> 36:33.160
Catch fire! Roll over!
I don't care! Just break!
36:33.200 --> 36:36.520
That bonger
is the temperature.
I'm down on power.
36:36.560 --> 36:38.160
Yes, I'm boiling.
36:38.200 --> 36:41.640
I think I'm boiling over.
Any minute now,
the engine will seize.
36:43.040 --> 36:44.920
[James] I seem
to have lost third gear,
36:44.960 --> 36:46.640
which was the most
useful one round here.
36:47.880 --> 36:51.840
Now the gear changes.
No, I think I've had it.
36:53.760 --> 36:58.160
No! But my... Look at my
temperature gauge! No!
36:59.360 --> 37:03.480
No, it can't be.
No, I won't have this.
37:05.000 --> 37:06.560
Are you out or are you
just making it up?
37:06.600 --> 37:08.040
No, I'm out.
37:08.080 --> 37:10.640
[Jeremy] No, it's...
I wanted this to be
the worst car.
37:10.680 --> 37:11.760
-Yes.
-And it says
37:11.800 --> 37:14.520
that this has
actually come last.
37:14.560 --> 37:16.680
It's the sixth
worst car ever made.
37:16.720 --> 37:18.280
Hang on, is that the...
I forgot the rules.
37:18.320 --> 37:20.160
-Yes, that's the way it is.
-Yes, you've won,
so you've lost.
37:20.200 --> 37:22.920
I know. I'm still running,
therefore I've lost.
But look at that...
37:22.960 --> 37:27.120
[Jeremy] Rather than
spend an hour re-explaining
the rules to James,
37:27.160 --> 37:30.920
we declared the Aztek
the winner,
37:30.960 --> 37:36.720
and with Hammond navigating,
set off back to the A9.
37:36.760 --> 37:40.800
Right, we're looking
for a bloody big road.
37:40.840 --> 37:44.280
[Jeremy] However,
before we even
realized we were lost,
37:44.320 --> 37:49.000
my Lincoln started to do
what the PT Cruiser wouldn't.
37:49.040 --> 37:51.120
Why is my engine...
37:51.160 --> 37:54.560
I'm misfiring badly now
going up this hill.
37:54.920 --> 37:55.960
Come on.
37:57.720 --> 38:01.400
Come on, car, please.
38:01.440 --> 38:03.440
[Jeremy] We therefore
pulled into a farmyard
38:03.480 --> 38:05.640
so I could make
some repairs.
38:07.920 --> 38:10.040
I'm gonna have a look
at my carb-u-rettor.
38:11.080 --> 38:14.320
As I broke out
my extensive tool kit,
38:14.360 --> 38:16.920
James went off
to put the kettle on.
38:18.160 --> 38:19.520
-A cup of tea?
-Thank you.
38:19.560 --> 38:20.720
Would you like
a... What?
38:20.760 --> 38:22.120
-That's very nice.
-I've gotta say...
38:22.160 --> 38:23.680
Would you like
a soft biscuit?
38:23.720 --> 38:25.240
-...that works.
-It does.
38:25.280 --> 38:26.520
What works?
38:26.560 --> 38:27.960
[Richard] Well, exactly.
38:28.000 --> 38:30.080
[James] Oh!
That's my caravan.
38:30.120 --> 38:31.760
That's so much better.
38:34.120 --> 38:36.840
[Jeremy] Eventually,
my repairs were complete.
38:38.520 --> 38:40.080
Broken.
38:40.120 --> 38:43.160
Oh, that could
keep you occupied
for hours.
38:43.200 --> 38:45.680
Why won't it go on?
That's ridiculous.
38:45.720 --> 38:47.920
The last thing I knew
was I was in my 30s.
38:47.960 --> 38:49.520
-Yeah.
-Late 30s, admittedly.
38:49.560 --> 38:51.920
And then suddenly,
I'm standing in a field
still watching...
38:51.960 --> 38:53.520
How's this possible?
38:53.560 --> 38:55.920
[laughs]
38:55.960 --> 38:57.560
Ah, this is brilliant.
38:58.920 --> 39:00.400
-Yeah!
-[Richard] Ah! Wow!
39:00.440 --> 39:02.080
What a sense
of achievement.
39:02.120 --> 39:04.400
-[Jeremy]
Now, the next thing is...
-[Richard] Where do we go.
39:04.440 --> 39:06.480
-[Jeremy] No mobile
phone signal.
-No.
39:06.520 --> 39:08.160
We've gotta find the A9.
39:09.600 --> 39:11.440
-Mm. Mm.
-It...
39:13.520 --> 39:16.560
One thing you
can't do in Scotland
is navigate using the sun.
39:16.600 --> 39:17.880
-No.
-No.
39:17.920 --> 39:19.680
[Richard] You can't
navigate by clouds, they move.
39:22.040 --> 39:23.400
How about getting...
39:25.520 --> 39:27.760
[Jeremy] Having decided
to go for that option,
39:27.800 --> 39:30.160
I had a couple
of small accidents.
39:34.960 --> 39:36.160
Oh, God.
39:37.840 --> 39:39.920
[Jeremy] But soon,
we were back on the move,
39:39.960 --> 39:44.160
with Pathfinder Hammond
once again on point.
39:44.200 --> 39:46.280
Any minute now,
there'll be a T-junction,
39:46.320 --> 39:50.560
and then a...
a small road
rather than a track,
39:50.600 --> 39:51.880
and then a big road.
39:52.880 --> 39:55.800
Then, all of that
didn't happen.
40:01.120 --> 40:02.640
There's a hole.
40:05.000 --> 40:08.920
Hammond's just brought us
on a rally special stage
by the looks of it.
40:13.800 --> 40:15.040
Ow! Ow! Ow!
40:19.000 --> 40:20.840
[Richard] Is this the A9?
40:20.880 --> 40:22.720
[Jeremy] No.
40:22.760 --> 40:26.800
No speed cameras on it.
That's how you know
it's not the A9.
40:26.840 --> 40:29.560
Oh! No! Shit.
40:31.920 --> 40:33.280
What?
40:37.320 --> 40:40.120
[James chuckling]
I'm sorry! That was hilarious!
40:40.160 --> 40:44.240
[Jeremy] So, ladies and
gentlemen, what is missing from
this picture?
40:44.280 --> 40:45.480
It was just epic!
40:45.520 --> 40:46.960
I've never seen
anything like it!
40:47.000 --> 40:48.440
-What, the towbar's
come off?
-Yeah.
40:48.480 --> 40:50.240
The towbar
has come off.
40:50.280 --> 40:52.080
[Richard] Oh, dear. That's...
40:52.120 --> 40:54.440
[Jeremy] If you put that
in a Tom and Jerrycartoon,
it would be absurd.
40:54.480 --> 40:56.640
-[laughs]
-What if that had
happened on the A9?
40:56.680 --> 40:58.760
Well, that, you'd have
there'd have been shouting.
40:58.800 --> 41:00.840
But where am I
gonna sleep tonight?
41:00.880 --> 41:04.080
There. That's where
your caravan is.
41:04.120 --> 41:06.640
[Jeremy] We decided
to abandon my caravan
41:06.680 --> 41:11.840
and resumed our journey,
behind Richard Blomquist.
41:17.720 --> 41:20.200
So he's driving up a mountain
and he thinks
41:20.240 --> 41:22.800
he's going to find
the A9 at the top
of it, does he?
41:22.840 --> 41:24.400
Oh. Oh.
41:27.560 --> 41:30.280
Good slapper, Hammond.
41:30.320 --> 41:32.360
[Richard] The tail's wagging
the dog a little bit here.
41:32.400 --> 41:34.760
Ooh. Yeah.
41:34.800 --> 41:38.120
Oh! Oh, dear, oh, dear,
something's gone wrong.
41:41.240 --> 41:42.280
Um...
41:43.760 --> 41:44.840
Ooh.
41:47.400 --> 41:49.640
-[Jeremy] Were you driving
too quickly on a gravel track?
-[Richard] Yes.
41:50.800 --> 41:52.640
I can't help it.
Gravel track...
41:52.680 --> 41:54.680
Well, if you
undo yourself...
41:54.720 --> 41:55.960
Yeah, he's done that.
41:56.000 --> 41:58.000
-Are you...
Are you undone?
-Yeah.
42:00.080 --> 42:01.520
So that... Yeah.
42:02.520 --> 42:04.560
If you get yourself
out, Hammond...
42:04.600 --> 42:06.040
-[Richard] Yeah? Ooh. No!
-[Jeremy] There you go.
42:06.080 --> 42:07.160
[Richard] No!
42:07.200 --> 42:08.640
[Jeremy] Oh, that's worked.
42:18.480 --> 42:20.320
[Richard] Well,
I've unhitched it.
42:20.360 --> 42:23.520
You're... you're free...
Your car will get out now.
42:24.680 --> 42:26.800
It's stuck.
42:26.840 --> 42:30.520
[Richard chuckling]
It's sitting on
the fuel tank! Look!
42:30.560 --> 42:33.600
So here's the situation,
we've got one caravan
left and it's soggy.
42:33.640 --> 42:35.560
Damp, yes, very.
42:37.240 --> 42:40.360
We aren't allowed
to stay in a hotel,
even if we could find one.
42:40.400 --> 42:41.640
[James] Which we won't.
42:42.400 --> 42:43.440
[Jeremy] Mm.
42:47.760 --> 42:51.240
What if...
we stay in a castle?
42:51.280 --> 42:54.040
There isn't a rule that says
you can't stay in a castle,
is there?
42:54.080 --> 42:55.640
But there isn't a castle.
42:55.680 --> 42:58.160
Well, we're in Scotland.
There'll be one in 300 meters.
42:58.200 --> 43:00.000
It doesn't require...
There are...
43:00.040 --> 43:02.200
And they're all empty
'cause nobody's allowed
to use their second homes.
43:02.240 --> 43:04.160
And castles
are always second homes.
43:04.200 --> 43:05.920
Unless you're part
of the Royal Family.
43:05.960 --> 43:07.480
The fact is,
you could be
onto something.
43:07.520 --> 43:09.040
All we've gotta do
is find a castle.
43:09.080 --> 43:11.080
Find a castle.
43:11.120 --> 43:12.560
[James] With that decided,
43:12.600 --> 43:14.520
we got Hammond
out of the ditch...
43:19.160 --> 43:21.600
...and went in search
of a castle.
43:28.600 --> 43:31.640
[Jeremy] James May,
I never thought
I'd say this to you,
43:31.680 --> 43:34.280
but your udder
has come off.
43:34.320 --> 43:36.400
[James] Don't ever
say that to me again.
43:37.840 --> 43:40.440
[Jeremy] The terrain
was very rough.
43:41.240 --> 43:42.800
[James] Bollocks.
43:42.840 --> 43:44.520
[Jeremy] What the hell?
43:50.840 --> 43:52.600
[Richard] Oh, brilliant.
43:56.680 --> 43:58.920
I've done some
damage underneath.
44:04.200 --> 44:07.600
[Jeremy] But mercifully,
after just two miles...
44:15.840 --> 44:18.440
we did find what
we were looking for.
44:33.160 --> 44:35.280
Yeah. This is ideal.
44:38.960 --> 44:42.680
[Jeremy] We settled
down for the night
in someone else's castle,
44:45.880 --> 44:49.160
and the next morning,
having admired their view,
44:51.600 --> 44:56.560
James scuttled off
to the kitchen to deploy
his cooking skills again.
44:59.520 --> 45:03.320
It's a deconstructed
and deep-fried kedgeree,
in effect.
45:03.360 --> 45:07.120
So you have a kipper,
a rice ball and an egg.
45:07.880 --> 45:08.960
All deep-fried?
45:09.000 --> 45:10.520
All deep-fried. Enjoy.
45:10.560 --> 45:11.640
I am intrigued.
45:11.680 --> 45:13.800
[Jeremy] Um... marvelous.
Well done, you.
45:15.000 --> 45:17.920
Now, our job
on this mission,
as you know,
45:18.760 --> 45:20.880
was... Mm.
45:21.800 --> 45:22.920
Mm-hmm.
45:22.960 --> 45:25.160
-Mm.
-What?
45:25.200 --> 45:26.960
Well, it's...
interesting flavors.
45:27.000 --> 45:28.280
That's challenging.
45:28.320 --> 45:29.800
[James] The kipper's
good, though, isn't it?
45:31.320 --> 45:33.120
I like kippers
and I like batter.
45:33.160 --> 45:34.560
Yeah, I love kippers.
I love batter.
45:34.600 --> 45:36.920
I also like marshmallow
and a nice pencil.
45:36.960 --> 45:38.240
-[Jeremy laughs]
-[James] Yeah.
45:38.280 --> 45:40.320
But I don't want them all
in one big congealed lump.
45:40.360 --> 45:41.760
[Jeremy] Now,
I've been thinking.
45:41.800 --> 45:44.320
Our job on this was not
to steal somebody's house...
45:44.360 --> 45:46.840
[clears throat] and deep-fry
everything we could find.
45:46.880 --> 45:48.360
Um...
45:48.400 --> 45:51.360
it was to work out
why American cars
45:51.400 --> 45:53.520
-haven't... or never
caught on.
-Yes.
45:53.560 --> 45:57.080
This scale
of not catching on...
in the 1970s,
45:57.120 --> 46:01.040
we in the UK bought
nine-and-a-few
thousand... [sniffs]
46:01.080 --> 46:04.000
US-built cars, nine-and-a-bit
thousand, okay?
46:04.040 --> 46:08.880
We bought 2,47,000
Soviet-made cars.
46:08.920 --> 46:11.960
A big contributor
to the success of
Soviet cars in Britain
46:12.000 --> 46:13.680
was the, uh,
People's Republic
of South Yorkshire.
46:13.720 --> 46:16.280
Well, it was. It was mainly
where people bought Ladas.
46:16.320 --> 46:17.480
Yeah.
46:17.520 --> 46:19.200
[Jeremy] And what have
we established so far?
46:19.880 --> 46:21.400
That we like our cars...
46:21.440 --> 46:22.720
I love my car.
46:22.760 --> 46:24.480
[Jeremy] Love them,
but they are flawed.
46:24.520 --> 46:26.760
-Quite big.
-Very, very, very big.
46:26.800 --> 46:29.360
Yeah, quite difficult
to maneuver in
many parts of Britain.
46:29.400 --> 46:31.800
Yes. And yours
is very unreliable.
46:31.840 --> 46:32.960
It's flamboyant.
46:33.000 --> 46:35.040
But that's our cars.
We've also established
46:35.080 --> 46:38.680
that slightly smaller cars,
such as the PT Cruiser...
46:38.720 --> 46:40.240
[clears throat]
and the Aztek and so on,
46:40.280 --> 46:43.480
the worst cars, amongst
the worst cars ever made.
46:43.520 --> 46:45.000
Hateful garbage.
46:45.040 --> 46:48.400
But here's the thing,
we must never forget
46:48.440 --> 46:52.240
America also made
some absolute corkers.
46:52.280 --> 46:54.480
[rock music playing]
47:55.040 --> 47:57.800
[Jeremy] Inspired by
this back catalogue,
47:57.840 --> 48:00.040
we chose our favorite
muscle cars,
48:02.560 --> 48:05.520
and then used them
to go for something else
48:05.560 --> 48:07.520
that America populized.
48:08.240 --> 48:09.720
A pizza.
48:11.120 --> 48:13.280
But you... I still say
you can have pineapple on it.
48:13.320 --> 48:14.400
-You can't.
-With ham.
48:14.440 --> 48:15.680
-No, you can't have.
-A Sloppy Giuseppe,
48:15.720 --> 48:16.720
-that's what you
have to have...
-No, with ham.
48:16.760 --> 48:17.880
-Ooh, God!
-No, no pineapple...
48:17.920 --> 48:19.280
I've just remembered
something.
48:19.320 --> 48:20.840
You know my mate, John?
48:20.880 --> 48:22.880
Everyone calls him Tramp.
48:22.920 --> 48:24.400
He's invited us
48:24.440 --> 48:26.480
for a perfectly
straightforward
shooting weekend.
48:26.520 --> 48:27.600
When?
48:27.640 --> 48:31.400
Well, we've gotta
be there in 37 minutes.
48:31.440 --> 48:36.840
What? Pizza Express
to Tramp's in 37 minutes?
That's not possible.
48:37.800 --> 48:39.000
Or is it?
48:58.360 --> 49:02.760
There have been a great many
fabulous muscle cars
over the years,
49:02.800 --> 49:04.720
but this is my favorite,
the Mustang.
49:11.000 --> 49:16.480
The Mustang was
the fastest-selling car
of all time.
49:16.520 --> 49:18.680
A record that's
never been beaten.
49:18.720 --> 49:23.400
They sold 22,000
on the first day!
49:23.440 --> 49:26.560
This particular example,
the GT500,
49:26.600 --> 49:28.680
built in 1967,
49:28.720 --> 49:32.560
and I cannot think of
any car that suits the mood
49:32.600 --> 49:35.000
of the moment more perfectly.
49:39.840 --> 49:42.000
Color television
has just arrived.
49:42.040 --> 49:45.800
The Apollo space program
was just beginning.
49:45.840 --> 49:51.120
We were all listening to
Sgt. Pepper and Fleetwood Mac
and Jimi Hendrix.
49:51.160 --> 49:55.840
But in America, the family man
could buy a seven-liter Mustang!
50:03.120 --> 50:07.680
This, viewers, is a 1969
Chevrolet Camaro Z/28.
50:11.160 --> 50:13.120
It was Chevrolet's
response to the Mustang,
50:13.160 --> 50:15.680
which they thought
was a bit slabby.
50:15.720 --> 50:19.520
So they came up with
something more curvaceous.
50:19.560 --> 50:22.840
This muscle car feels
particularly agricultural.
50:22.880 --> 50:25.240
We imagine that
the Americans didn't
realize that.
50:25.280 --> 50:27.000
But I think they did.
50:27.040 --> 50:30.400
I think they knew
and they just thought,
"Well, sod it. It's a laugh."
50:31.760 --> 50:34.640
That's what was great
about America in those days.
50:34.680 --> 50:39.440
Optimism, hope,
unashamed consumption.
50:43.440 --> 50:45.480
Britain, of course,
saw the Mustang
50:45.520 --> 50:48.360
and all the cars it inspired,
such as this one, and thought,
50:48.400 --> 50:49.600
"Yeah, we'll have
a go at that,"
50:49.640 --> 50:52.920
and gave us the Capri,
50:52.960 --> 50:57.200
which was available
with a 1.3-liter engine.
50:57.240 --> 50:59.400
Why were we so meek?
51:07.240 --> 51:08.840
The Dodge Charger,
51:08.880 --> 51:12.760
one of my
all-time favorite cars
and one of the greats.
51:12.800 --> 51:16.240
Specifically this 1968
second-generation version
51:16.280 --> 51:19.040
ofBullitt
andDukes of Hazzard fame.
51:19.080 --> 51:21.920
I mean, just look at it,
it screams "legend."
51:21.960 --> 51:25.560
The Charger was aimed
at young people specifically,
51:25.600 --> 51:28.560
which today would mean
"make it so small and bland
51:28.600 --> 51:32.000
as to be invisible
and give it the engine
from a pencil sharpener."
51:32.040 --> 51:34.200
Back then it meant
"give it a huge V8,
51:34.240 --> 51:36.680
bonnet scoops
and flared haunches."
51:36.720 --> 51:38.120
They were fun!
51:43.320 --> 51:46.840
[James] Uh, what is
a perfectly straightforward
shooting weekend anyway?
51:46.880 --> 51:48.720
I've no idea.
51:48.760 --> 51:50.720
I don't think anyone
in the world knows
51:50.760 --> 51:53.440
what a perfectly
straightforward
shooting weekend is.
51:53.480 --> 51:54.880
They're all different.
51:55.360 --> 51:57.320
Uh-oh. Chaps?
51:58.720 --> 51:59.800
Yes?
52:01.960 --> 52:03.280
-Died.
-[car backfires]
52:03.320 --> 52:05.560
-[loud bang]
-Oh!
52:05.600 --> 52:08.920
[James] Hammond,
do you mind not doing that?
I've had a heart attack.
52:10.240 --> 52:12.560
It turned out that
a detached brake caliper
52:12.600 --> 52:16.440
had broken the wheel,
which had jammed the gearbox,
52:16.480 --> 52:19.200
and that caused
the engine to explode.
52:19.240 --> 52:21.080
But since the clock
was running,
52:21.120 --> 52:26.120
Jeremy and I had to leave
Britain's unluckiest driver
and press on.
52:32.640 --> 52:34.240
This is ridiculous.
52:34.280 --> 52:37.400
It's like driving
to Barnard Castle to see
if your eyesight works.
52:45.120 --> 52:48.840
[vehicle beeping]
52:58.040 --> 53:00.200
[Jeremy] But despite this,
we did make it
53:00.240 --> 53:04.800
from Pizza Express
to Tramp's in 37 minutes.
53:06.720 --> 53:09.280
We've made it.
We have made it.
53:10.600 --> 53:12.000
Oh, yes.
53:13.760 --> 53:16.360
But while we'd
made it on time,
53:17.680 --> 53:20.400
there was a problem.
53:20.440 --> 53:22.560
I'm not sure
we're blending in terribly well
53:22.600 --> 53:25.640
on this perfectly
straightforward
shooting weekend.
53:25.680 --> 53:29.000
Well... [sighs]
It could be worse.
53:35.040 --> 53:36.800
-[James] Oh.
-[Jeremy laughs]
53:41.760 --> 53:43.600
What are you wearing?
53:43.640 --> 53:46.440
Yeah, I know, I...
I've overdone this.
53:46.480 --> 53:48.880
I am sweating
with embarrassment.
53:48.920 --> 53:52.720
Well, you're lucky.
After what happened
in Argentina, I can't sweat.
53:52.760 --> 53:53.960
-Really?
-No.
53:54.000 --> 53:55.480
-You can't sweat?
-No, not a thing.
53:55.520 --> 53:58.040
This was inspired
by my car.
It's misled me.
53:58.080 --> 53:59.120
[phone pings]
54:01.160 --> 54:02.680
A text from Mr. Wilman.
54:03.680 --> 54:06.120
A long one.
54:06.160 --> 54:08.840
"You have
finally uncovered
the main problem
54:08.880 --> 54:12.600
with owning an American car
in Europe, it's embarrassing."
54:13.240 --> 54:15.200
Mm. [laughs]
54:15.240 --> 54:16.320
We don't blend.
54:16.360 --> 54:17.560
It is a bit.
54:17.600 --> 54:19.080
It doesn't fit.
54:19.120 --> 54:22.640
"But if there was a community
where American car enthusiasts
54:22.680 --> 54:26.360
could live side by side
with people who shared
their passion,
54:26.400 --> 54:28.760
it wouldn't
be embarrassing.
54:28.800 --> 54:31.440
So I've created a small town
in the Outer Hebrides
54:31.480 --> 54:33.560
where people can do just that.
54:33.600 --> 54:35.600
And that's where
you're headed now."
54:35.640 --> 54:38.040
-So, yes, no,
what he's...
-You can actually...
54:38.080 --> 54:41.160
he's thinking a bit like
a sort of a drug-dependency
support group.
54:41.200 --> 54:43.920
You go there knowing that
everybody else is like you.
54:43.960 --> 54:46.040
Exactly, every...
'Cause you obviously
turn up here,
54:46.080 --> 54:48.040
cars like this,
as we've just done.
54:48.080 --> 54:49.440
Bollocks, isn't it?
54:49.480 --> 54:53.800
People go, "God above, Darren,
Gary and Kevin are here."
54:55.240 --> 54:57.920
But if there was
a community...
54:59.160 --> 55:01.280
We'll be amongst
our own kind.
55:01.320 --> 55:03.600
You could say,
"Can I get a burger?"
55:03.640 --> 55:06.520
Yeah. You can have
cheese on everything.
55:06.560 --> 55:09.080
-And a strawberry
on your laundry...
-Yes, strawberry.
55:09.120 --> 55:10.680
-[in American accent]
A strawberry.
-You could actually say...
55:10.720 --> 55:12.720
And nobody will look at you
because they're all doing it.
55:12.760 --> 55:14.080
-Everyone is
in the same boat.
-It's brilliant.
55:14.120 --> 55:15.480
Well done, Mr. Wilman.
55:15.520 --> 55:17.080
That's not
a bad idea, actually.
55:17.120 --> 55:18.600
That's... hmm, yes,
that's inspired...
55:18.640 --> 55:21.520
And I've just...
I've just thought...
55:21.560 --> 55:24.320
If we're going to this island
where everything's American
55:24.360 --> 55:27.520
and everybody drives
an American car,
55:27.560 --> 55:31.200
why don't we make
our cars more American?
55:31.240 --> 55:35.200
I know your Cadillac
is as American as
an eagle made of cheese,
55:35.240 --> 55:37.240
but make it more American.
55:37.280 --> 55:40.960
We'll modify them,
and then we'll arrive
on the island
55:41.000 --> 55:43.160
in very American cars.
55:43.200 --> 55:45.560
He will be so happy.
55:45.600 --> 55:47.840
I can only think
of an eagle
made of cheese now.
55:47.880 --> 55:49.560
[chortles]
55:51.760 --> 55:53.400
[Jeremy] Two days later,
55:55.360 --> 55:58.880
we set off on
a 200-mile journey
55:58.920 --> 56:05.080
to Mr. Wilman's Hebridean island
in our newly modified cars.
56:10.920 --> 56:12.400
Let me talk you
through what I've done.
56:12.440 --> 56:14.760
I focused initially
on repairing things.
56:14.800 --> 56:16.480
I've repaired the windscreen
wiper as best I can.
56:16.520 --> 56:19.880
I've used waterless coolant
to try and solve
the overheating problems.
56:19.920 --> 56:23.200
And then... Well, if you
look closely at the front here,
56:23.240 --> 56:24.960
I fitted the massive
supercharger
56:25.000 --> 56:26.440
you can see sticking
out of the bonnet.
56:28.440 --> 56:30.040
Gains about 100
horsepower from that.
56:33.680 --> 56:36.560
[exclaims]
56:36.600 --> 56:39.800
And having done
the supercharger
at that end,
56:39.840 --> 56:42.480
I needed something
visually to balance it
56:42.520 --> 56:44.320
to make it a cohesive whole.
56:44.360 --> 56:48.480
So I fitted the Plymouth
Road Runner-style
wing at the back.
56:52.520 --> 56:54.520
[chuckles maniacally]
56:56.720 --> 57:00.640
Hello, viewers.
I've turned my
Cadillac Coupe DeVille
57:00.680 --> 57:03.640
into a low-ri-der.
57:07.280 --> 57:09.120
Three inches
lower at the front.
57:09.160 --> 57:10.600
It's two inches
lower at the back,
57:10.640 --> 57:14.160
courtesy of heavy-duty
Land Rover Defender springs.
57:14.200 --> 57:18.800
A two-and-a-half-inch
straight-through
side-mounted exhaust.
57:20.520 --> 57:24.720
Now, this was already
a very cool, very relaxed car.
57:24.760 --> 57:28.400
It's now even cooler
and relaxeder.
57:31.040 --> 57:32.680
-[thud]
-Uh-oh.
57:34.680 --> 57:37.280
I may have overdone
the lowering a bit.
57:40.520 --> 57:45.200
This thing is now wearing
white-letter heavy-duty boots
and it's worked well.
57:48.560 --> 57:53.480
I've also addressed
my power issues
by fitting nitrous injection.
57:57.600 --> 57:59.520
It's perfectly straightforward.
57:59.560 --> 58:02.240
Instead of mixing the petrol
with ordinary air before it
goes into the engine,
58:02.280 --> 58:05.760
it's mixed with a blend
of nitrogen and oxygen.
58:05.800 --> 58:09.040
Let's try it out.
Engage system
with toggle switch.
58:09.080 --> 58:10.280
Prime the tank.
58:11.200 --> 58:12.360
Firing...
58:19.040 --> 58:23.160
That makes no diff...
Why does that not make
any difference at all?
58:23.200 --> 58:24.200
[clicks switch]
58:26.600 --> 58:29.760
[James] Did you
make other modifications
to the fuel system
58:29.800 --> 58:31.920
apart from putting
the nitrous bottle in?
58:31.960 --> 58:33.560
[Jeremy] Yes, I did.
58:33.600 --> 58:35.200
[James] What did you do?
58:35.240 --> 58:36.640
Many things.
58:37.600 --> 58:39.120
He hasn't done it, has he?
58:39.160 --> 58:41.840
Did you alter the timing?
58:41.880 --> 58:43.200
[Jeremy] I advanced it.
58:43.240 --> 58:45.360
[laughs]
58:45.400 --> 58:48.160
What would happen
if I hadn't done anything
to the timing
58:48.200 --> 58:50.960
-or anything like that?
-[laughs]
58:51.000 --> 58:52.160
[James] I think...
58:52.200 --> 58:53.880
Yeah, you'd have
made the mixture lean
58:53.920 --> 58:55.880
and you'd probably
melt the pistons.
58:55.920 --> 58:58.720
Well, I'll get a grandstand view
of the explosion from back here
58:58.760 --> 59:01.840
if I can see it round
my supercharger.
59:01.880 --> 59:07.000
See around it?
Is your supercharger
actually in the way, then?
59:07.040 --> 59:10.240
Um, only in...
in certain directions.
59:10.280 --> 59:13.680
Um, if I look forwards,
for instance, yes, it...
59:13.720 --> 59:15.200
it blocks the view.
59:16.240 --> 59:19.040
[laughs] He can't see!
59:22.600 --> 59:28.040
Later, I discovered
another issue that had been
caused by the modifications.
59:28.080 --> 59:30.440
[tire squeals]
59:31.640 --> 59:33.320
That's my tire.
59:33.360 --> 59:35.080
[tire squealing]
59:35.120 --> 59:37.520
[laughs]
59:38.880 --> 59:43.560
The sound of my tires
catching on the bodywork.
59:44.920 --> 59:46.520
[laughs]
59:46.560 --> 59:49.640
I've really cocked
this up, haven't I?
59:55.280 --> 59:57.320
We continued our journey north,
59:57.360 --> 1:00:01.920
against the ever-familiar
backdrop of Scotland's weather.
1:00:03.400 --> 1:00:06.520
God really did mess up
with Scotland, didn't he,
1:00:06.560 --> 1:00:08.920
'cause, "Oh, look at that.
It's my best work.
1:00:08.960 --> 1:00:11.800
And now it's gonna
rain constantly."
1:00:11.840 --> 1:00:13.600
[Richard] Yeah,
he made something
really rather beautiful
1:00:13.640 --> 1:00:16.960
and then covered it
with a tatty old sheet
in the form of the weather.
1:00:17.000 --> 1:00:19.520
It's interesting that
in the Islamic world,
1:00:19.560 --> 1:00:23.840
artifacts can't be perfect
because only God
is capable of perfection.
1:00:23.880 --> 1:00:26.800
But in Christian society,
we like to think that God
1:00:26.840 --> 1:00:28.840
introduces some imperfection
and flaws into the world
1:00:28.880 --> 1:00:32.920
lest we should be blinded
and driven mad by its beauty.
1:00:32.960 --> 1:00:36.600
James, are your side pipes
putting fumes into the cabin?
1:00:36.640 --> 1:00:39.440
He began that by saying,
"It's interesting, isn't it,"
1:00:39.480 --> 1:00:43.840
and then proceeded
to not be interesting
for the next ten minutes.
1:00:48.840 --> 1:00:52.040
Eventually, though,
the rain eased,
1:00:52.080 --> 1:00:54.920
which meant we could
enjoy a lovely view
1:00:56.920 --> 1:00:59.080
while Hammond mended his car.
1:01:01.800 --> 1:01:04.480
-[James] What up?
-[Richard] That's
a split fuel tank.
1:01:04.520 --> 1:01:06.640
I don't think there's
any denying that.
1:01:06.680 --> 1:01:09.080
Could you make it to
that village down there?
1:01:09.120 --> 1:01:11.560
-Probably.
-'Cause they'll have
a petrol tank welding center,
1:01:11.600 --> 1:01:12.720
-I'm sure of it.
-Mm.
1:01:12.760 --> 1:01:14.000
It's quite difficult
to weld a petrol tank.
1:01:14.040 --> 1:01:15.560
You've gotta be
very careful with that.
1:01:15.600 --> 1:01:18.560
[Richard] I need to find
something that I can
gum it up with.
1:01:18.600 --> 1:01:20.280
[Jeremy] Sticky tape? Duct tape?
1:01:20.320 --> 1:01:21.520
Well, it's an interesting
proposition
1:01:21.560 --> 1:01:23.560
'cause petrol dissolves
most adhesives. So...
1:01:23.600 --> 1:01:25.680
Yes, James, it's
an interesting proposition.
1:01:25.720 --> 1:01:28.160
Meanwhile, my car's
life blood is draining away.
1:01:30.920 --> 1:01:34.400
[Jeremy] Having solved
the problem with some of
my nicotine gum,
1:01:36.320 --> 1:01:40.160
we stopped
looking at the view
and drove into it.
1:01:41.280 --> 1:01:45.120
[folk music playing]
1:02:29.800 --> 1:02:33.120
I really do like this car.
I like the way it looks now.
1:02:33.160 --> 1:02:37.440
I always like the way it looks.
Now I like the way
it looks even more.
1:02:37.480 --> 1:02:41.240
It's supremely comfortable
and it's got a Cartier clock,
1:02:41.280 --> 1:02:43.840
which is absolutely beautiful.
1:02:43.880 --> 1:02:48.560
It moves me, that clock,
moves me with its beauty.
1:02:48.600 --> 1:02:53.560
[Jeremy] How many cars
have we ever kept
from our television shows?
1:02:53.600 --> 1:02:57.560
Uh... Well I...
well, I kept Oliver,
the Opel Kadett.
1:02:57.600 --> 1:03:01.320
I've kept the Alfa,
the Bentley
and the Excellent.
1:03:01.360 --> 1:03:03.960
I've only kept
my beach buggy.
1:03:04.000 --> 1:03:06.040
Not many, then,
out of all the hundreds.
1:03:06.080 --> 1:03:09.000
I think I know what you're
thinking now.
1:03:09.040 --> 1:03:11.480
I really want this
Lincoln in my life.
1:03:11.520 --> 1:03:14.360
[Richard] I do not want
to give up my Riviera.
I love it.
1:03:14.400 --> 1:03:16.120
[James] What about the Cadillac?
1:03:16.160 --> 1:03:18.920
Well, I will admit
it may have, yes,
1:03:18.960 --> 1:03:22.040
got under my skin a bit
and I may actually love it,
1:03:22.080 --> 1:03:23.920
especially now
it's a low-rider.
1:03:26.960 --> 1:03:32.200
[Jeremy] As the light faded,
we found the nearest
castle to stay in.
1:03:33.600 --> 1:03:35.840
And that night,
Hammond and I
1:03:35.880 --> 1:03:39.560
decided to replace
James' missing wheel spat.
1:03:43.720 --> 1:03:48.040
And the next morning,
he was very grateful.
1:03:48.080 --> 1:03:51.200
[James screaming] Clarkson!
1:03:51.240 --> 1:03:53.880
That's a particularly
shoddy piece of work.
1:03:53.920 --> 1:03:55.600
[Richard] Whoa, whoa,
wait a minute!
1:03:55.640 --> 1:03:57.960
Two American stars
on your American car...
1:03:58.000 --> 1:03:59.880
-Exactly.
-...that is
an enhanced spat.
1:03:59.920 --> 1:04:01.720
[James] But you could have
made an effort to make it fit.
1:04:01.760 --> 1:04:02.800
I mean, what are these...
1:04:02.840 --> 1:04:04.680
Just... You've just driven
1:04:04.720 --> 1:04:07.800
ugly cross-headed
self-tapping screws
into my Cadillac.
1:04:07.840 --> 1:04:09.400
It's fixed, though.
1:04:24.400 --> 1:04:29.040
[Jeremy] As we continued
to head for Mr. Wilman's
American island,
1:04:29.080 --> 1:04:32.000
we came across
an important piece of road
1:04:32.040 --> 1:04:34.760
for the nation's
car enthusiasts.
1:04:41.560 --> 1:04:44.600
Right, this is Britain's
Stelvio Pass,
1:04:47.280 --> 1:04:48.320
the Applecross.
1:04:49.480 --> 1:04:50.760
That's what it's called.
1:04:56.960 --> 1:04:58.720
This is an opportunity
to find out
1:04:58.760 --> 1:05:03.600
how our cars will manage
on an alpine road.
1:05:03.640 --> 1:05:06.680
Science is about to happen.
1:05:06.720 --> 1:05:10.360
[Richard] I'm with you.
A scientific experiment, yes.
1:05:10.400 --> 1:05:11.960
Right, here we go.
1:05:15.200 --> 1:05:16.720
[grinding]
1:05:19.280 --> 1:05:22.080
Gawd streuth. Oh.
1:05:25.120 --> 1:05:28.640
Yeah, that... that...
that is a problem.
1:05:28.680 --> 1:05:33.640
Um... I can't see
through the windscreen
because it mists up.
1:05:33.680 --> 1:05:35.400
And on the other side,
the windscreen wiper
isn't working.
1:05:35.440 --> 1:05:37.280
But even if I could see
through the windscreen,
1:05:37.320 --> 1:05:42.000
on the other side of it
is the supercharger,
which is dominating the view.
1:05:47.000 --> 1:05:48.160
Impossible to see...
1:05:52.400 --> 1:05:53.760
Yeah...
1:05:56.760 --> 1:06:00.560
This specific American car
is struggling a little bit
1:06:00.600 --> 1:06:04.320
with this specific
bit of the UK.
1:06:05.920 --> 1:06:08.400
All right, coming up
to this hairpin bend.
1:06:08.440 --> 1:06:11.720
Preparing myself mentally
for the challenge.
1:06:11.760 --> 1:06:12.960
And here we go.
1:06:13.640 --> 1:06:16.360
And... braking nicely.
1:06:18.960 --> 1:06:21.000
[screeching]
1:06:26.240 --> 1:06:27.480
She's round!
1:06:28.880 --> 1:06:30.560
[James] Quite a lot of mist.
1:06:34.440 --> 1:06:35.840
Oh, dear.
1:06:35.880 --> 1:06:37.000
[car horn honks]
1:06:37.040 --> 1:06:38.120
What?
1:06:40.480 --> 1:06:43.560
How have we ended up driving
on the other side of the road?
1:06:45.040 --> 1:06:47.040
[tires screech]
1:06:50.680 --> 1:06:52.640
[laughs]
1:06:59.520 --> 1:07:02.040
We're about to
drive into a cloud.
1:07:05.000 --> 1:07:08.280
[Jeremy] Eventually,
we reached the top of the pass,
1:07:08.320 --> 1:07:10.640
got out to look
at the famous view...
1:07:17.440 --> 1:07:19.320
...and then set off
back down again.
1:07:24.560 --> 1:07:27.480
It... Oh, sh...
I've gone off the road.
1:07:29.240 --> 1:07:32.400
Oh, there we go.
Now... [exclaims]
1:07:32.440 --> 1:07:35.280
Yeah. When I
thought this morning,
1:07:35.320 --> 1:07:40.560
"Let's go up that
switchback mountain road
in our two-door V8 coupes,"
1:07:40.600 --> 1:07:43.680
it didn't look like this
in my head.
1:07:43.720 --> 1:07:46.400
I should have known
when I put a duffel coat on.
1:07:46.440 --> 1:07:48.880
You don't see
a Formula 1 driver
getting into his car
1:07:48.920 --> 1:07:50.600
in a duffel coat, do you?
1:07:55.200 --> 1:07:58.400
Later that day,
we reached
the Isle of Skye.
1:08:03.160 --> 1:08:10.000
And having crossed that,
we boarded a ferry to
the island of North Uist.
1:08:12.240 --> 1:08:18.200
And once we were underway,
we engaged in some
light automotive philosophy.
1:08:20.000 --> 1:08:22.960
You know,
the funny thing is...
1:08:23.000 --> 1:08:26.240
when you see someone
driving an American car
in Britain,
1:08:26.280 --> 1:08:28.240
you know everything
about them.
1:08:28.280 --> 1:08:30.960
You know that Trump
makes them plump,
1:08:31.000 --> 1:08:33.080
they've got
a Confederate flag
in the garage...
1:08:33.120 --> 1:08:34.800
-Yeah.
-...they only drink Bud.
1:08:34.840 --> 1:08:36.640
When you see someone
driving a Fiat,
1:08:36.680 --> 1:08:39.160
you don't think,
"Well, I bet he waves
his arms around
1:08:39.200 --> 1:08:40.960
and has a weird relationship
with his mother."
1:08:41.000 --> 1:08:42.360
Or someone in a Volvo,
you don't think,
1:08:42.400 --> 1:08:43.840
"Oh, I bet he gets naked
and then rolls around
1:08:43.880 --> 1:08:44.960
in the snow
with his neighbors."
1:08:45.000 --> 1:08:46.640
-Exactly.
-But that's what I mean,
1:08:46.680 --> 1:08:48.320
you don't make assumptions
based on the car's
nationality at all.
1:08:48.360 --> 1:08:50.360
No, you don't, you don't.
But with an American car...
1:08:50.400 --> 1:08:52.400
-[James] You do.
-...you absolutely do.
1:08:52.440 --> 1:08:53.960
You're absolutely right
because if, for example...
1:08:54.000 --> 1:08:55.480
I mean, let's just
take a hypothetical case,
1:08:55.520 --> 1:08:59.080
if you saw a classic Mustang,
say a dark-green one,
1:08:59.120 --> 1:09:00.880
and it was being driven
by Richard Hammond,
1:09:00.920 --> 1:09:03.960
all you can see is his face
just sticking up above
the steering wheel,
1:09:04.000 --> 1:09:06.440
but you'd still think,
"I bet he's wearing
cowboy boots."
1:09:08.000 --> 1:09:10.960
And he is.
The only thing he doesn't do
1:09:11.000 --> 1:09:13.520
that he should as
an American car enthusiast
1:09:14.560 --> 1:09:16.200
is play golf.
1:09:16.240 --> 1:09:17.800
Yeah. Pfft!
1:09:17.840 --> 1:09:19.200
What do you mean, "Yeeah"?
1:09:19.240 --> 1:09:21.280
Yeah.
1:09:21.320 --> 1:09:24.600
-"Yeeah, yeeah."
-Have you got something
you'd like to share?
1:09:24.640 --> 1:09:28.160
My name's Richard Hammond
and I've taken up golf recently.
I've been having lessons.
1:09:35.840 --> 1:09:37.440
-Seriously?
-Yeah.
1:09:37.480 --> 1:09:40.440
I bought a set of golf clubs
and I've been having lessons,
1:09:40.480 --> 1:09:42.800
twice a week
at my local golf course.
1:09:43.920 --> 1:09:45.840
Why have you taken up golf?
1:09:45.880 --> 1:09:47.360
My mates seemed to be
really enjoying it.
1:09:47.400 --> 1:09:49.080
So I went round
with them and I tried it.
1:09:49.120 --> 1:09:50.800
And it was really,
really h... it's hard.
1:09:50.840 --> 1:09:52.040
-It's, like, honestly,
it's really hard--
-I'm not interested.
1:09:52.080 --> 1:09:53.120
And so then
I've had lessons.
1:09:53.160 --> 1:09:55.560
I was having quite
an interesting...
1:09:55.600 --> 1:09:57.560
thought process there
about American cars
1:09:57.600 --> 1:10:00.440
and now suddenly,
my day's been ruined.
1:10:00.480 --> 1:10:04.160
Somebody I've actually
enjoyed working with
for the last 15 years,
1:10:04.200 --> 1:10:06.720
it turns out, is weird.
1:10:10.040 --> 1:10:14.040
[Richard] Fortunately,
the conversation was
interrupted at this point
1:10:14.080 --> 1:10:17.400
because we had reached
the extraordinary island
1:10:17.880 --> 1:10:19.640
of North Uist.
1:10:28.880 --> 1:10:31.800
We are on
an Outer Hebrides.
1:10:42.200 --> 1:10:45.320
So the next island along
is where Mr. Wilman
1:10:45.360 --> 1:10:50.840
has built his community
for American car enthusiasts.
1:10:50.880 --> 1:10:52.640
[Richard] I'm excited
by this idea of a...
1:10:52.680 --> 1:10:57.760
a place where we can go
in our American cars
and not be embarrassed.
1:10:57.800 --> 1:11:00.640
It is like nudists.
1:11:00.680 --> 1:11:02.280
They wanna run around
with no clothes on,
1:11:02.320 --> 1:11:04.880
but you can't do that
where everybody else
is wearing clothes.
1:11:04.920 --> 1:11:06.680
You'd feel silly.
1:11:06.720 --> 1:11:08.760
So they go amongst
like-minded people
1:11:08.800 --> 1:11:10.720
where everyone's
doing the same.
1:11:13.280 --> 1:11:15.600
Eventually, we reached
the shoreline
1:11:15.640 --> 1:11:17.880
on the far side
of the island.
1:11:20.120 --> 1:11:22.760
Ooh, I say,
that's rather beautiful.
Look at that.
1:11:22.800 --> 1:11:25.280
[James] That is
mighty pretty, isn't it?
1:11:31.760 --> 1:11:33.640
What the bloody
hell's that lot?
1:11:38.720 --> 1:11:40.520
What is it?
1:11:40.560 --> 1:11:43.000
[James] I'm wondering
if it's some sort of
temporary stage or seating.
1:11:43.040 --> 1:11:44.760
It's plastic
in the sea, is what it is.
1:11:44.800 --> 1:11:46.120
-It is a lot of plastic.
-I mean, look at it.
1:11:46.160 --> 1:11:48.200
Well, maybe they re-use it
when there's no COVID
1:11:48.240 --> 1:11:49.800
-and they have
folk music on the beach.
-Guys?
1:11:49.840 --> 1:11:51.160
-It's all washed up--
-What?
1:11:51.200 --> 1:11:52.720
I had a text from Wilman.
1:11:52.760 --> 1:11:55.960
Right, so, that
1:11:56.000 --> 1:11:58.760
is the island where
he's built the community.
1:11:58.800 --> 1:12:00.320
And I'm guessing
that spiky thing
1:12:00.360 --> 1:12:02.280
over there is part of it.
Can you see that?
1:12:02.320 --> 1:12:03.440
[Richard] What, over there?
1:12:03.480 --> 1:12:05.040
-[Jeremy] Yeah.
-[Richard] Wow.
1:12:05.080 --> 1:12:10.400
But to get to the island,
we have to build
a bridge out of that.
1:12:10.440 --> 1:12:13.200
[James] Is it like
a pontoony-type thing,
do you think?
1:12:13.240 --> 1:12:15.360
I'm just thinking
they're full of air,
so they look floaty.
1:12:15.400 --> 1:12:17.160
Well, it's not gonna
hold a car up, is it?
1:12:17.200 --> 1:12:20.200
I don't know,
maybe if you have
enough of them, it would.
1:12:20.240 --> 1:12:21.920
-[Richard] So those...
-[Jeremy] So these ones
1:12:21.960 --> 1:12:23.560
-are already joined
together, look...
-[Richard] Yeah, look, that's...
1:12:23.600 --> 1:12:25.080
Yeah, that's...
that's what these...
Look, that's one of these.
1:12:25.120 --> 1:12:26.440
[James] Yeah, they're screws.
1:12:26.480 --> 1:12:27.800
[Richard] They screw together.
1:12:27.840 --> 1:12:29.880
[Jeremy]
That's my idea of hell.
1:12:29.920 --> 1:12:32.960
[Richard] Oh, it's
a giant construction set!
1:12:33.000 --> 1:12:36.160
Jeremy, it's like your birthday
and Christmas all at once!
1:12:36.200 --> 1:12:38.040
So is that wider...
I mean, how much wider
1:12:38.080 --> 1:12:39.720
than the car
does it need to be?
1:12:39.760 --> 1:12:41.160
Out of how many
of these we got.
1:12:41.200 --> 1:12:43.760
And out...
we've gotta go
a long bloody way!
1:12:45.760 --> 1:12:47.560
All the cars
are six-foot-seven wide.
1:12:47.600 --> 1:12:52.960
Two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine.
1:12:53.000 --> 1:12:54.960
-Just under ten foot.
-So your feet are foot?
1:12:55.000 --> 1:12:57.120
Uh, I don't know.
1:12:57.160 --> 1:12:59.440
[Jeremy] I, meanwhile,
was more interested in
1:12:59.480 --> 1:13:02.040
what this community
would look like.
1:13:02.080 --> 1:13:03.560
I'm guessing that...
1:13:03.600 --> 1:13:04.880
[Richard] It...
1:13:04.920 --> 1:13:06.200
[Jeremy] No, I'm trying
to think what there'll be.
1:13:06.240 --> 1:13:08.040
There'll be a motel,
1:13:08.080 --> 1:13:09.920
and in every room
there'll be two beds
1:13:09.960 --> 1:13:13.400
that are far too big,
burgundy bedspreads.
1:13:13.440 --> 1:13:15.960
There will be a sports bar
with hundreds of screens
1:13:16.000 --> 1:13:18.640
all showing something
slightly different
but not very different.
1:13:18.680 --> 1:13:20.400
[Richard] Everybody will
talk to you in the lift.
1:13:20.440 --> 1:13:22.200
-Elevator. I like that.
-[Jeremy] Yes, they will...
1:13:22.240 --> 1:13:23.480
[in American accent]
"Good to know you."
1:13:23.520 --> 1:13:24.560
That's what they say
when you get out of a lift.
1:13:24.600 --> 1:13:26.120
[Richard] Yeah,
they say good morning...
1:13:26.160 --> 1:13:27.840
You... you... how...
You don't know me,
you've just met me,
1:13:27.880 --> 1:13:29.960
-"Good to meet you"?
-I like that,
you have a conversation.
1:13:30.000 --> 1:13:31.720
[Jeremy] But that's
'cause you're American.
1:13:34.400 --> 1:13:36.960
[Jeremy] We got stuck
into the work...
1:13:42.200 --> 1:13:43.920
[Richard] Captain Nurk,
going in.
1:13:45.200 --> 1:13:46.440
That must be
the doer-upperer.
1:13:49.960 --> 1:13:52.840
[Jeremy] ...pausing only
for James and I
to have an argument.
1:13:54.800 --> 1:13:55.880
That isn't going to work.
1:13:55.920 --> 1:13:58.200
It is. I've done
a calculation, roughly.
1:13:58.240 --> 1:14:01.400
Maths, James,
has no bearing on the sea.
1:14:01.440 --> 1:14:03.400
-Of course it does.
-Do you think it'll work?
1:14:03.440 --> 1:14:05.360
-No. Not really.
-[laughs]
1:14:16.280 --> 1:14:17.360
[Jeremy] Going down.
1:14:18.000 --> 1:14:19.040
Going down.
1:14:21.360 --> 1:14:24.080
[Jeremy] Oh, God.
Right, that is secured.
1:14:24.120 --> 1:14:25.240
[Richard] Good.
1:14:25.280 --> 1:14:26.480
[Jeremy] You pissed
in your own Wellingtons.
1:14:26.520 --> 1:14:27.560
Yes.
1:14:27.600 --> 1:14:29.320
This is very manly,
this, isn't it?
1:14:29.360 --> 1:14:30.440
-[Jeremy] This?
-[Richard] Yeah.
1:14:30.480 --> 1:14:31.720
[Jeremy] I know.
1:14:41.560 --> 1:14:44.040
[Jeremy] On the third morning
of our endeavors,
1:14:44.080 --> 1:14:48.720
we'd reached the point
where we needed to borrow
a boat from a local.
1:14:48.760 --> 1:14:51.160
[indistinct mumbling]
1:14:51.200 --> 1:14:54.720
Okay, here's the situation.
Um, we've built this bit here.
1:14:54.760 --> 1:14:56.840
Hammond is going to
bring the boat around here.
1:14:56.880 --> 1:15:00.800
And we're now going to
tow it to the end of
what we've already built
1:15:00.840 --> 1:15:03.080
where we can attach
our new section.
1:15:05.560 --> 1:15:08.120
[Jeremy] It was a simple plan,
but then it turned out
1:15:08.160 --> 1:15:11.720
that Hammond
had never used
an outboard motor.
1:15:13.400 --> 1:15:15.840
Uh... uh...
1:15:15.880 --> 1:15:17.120
Pull the cord.
1:15:17.160 --> 1:15:18.480
Where's the cord? Oh.
1:15:18.520 --> 1:15:20.200
It's in the top
of the en... There.
1:15:20.240 --> 1:15:21.360
-Pull it...
-I got it.
1:15:25.080 --> 1:15:26.560
It works!
1:15:26.600 --> 1:15:28.200
How do I make it move?
1:15:28.240 --> 1:15:31.320
Twist the thing...
There you go!
1:15:32.240 --> 1:15:35.000
HMS Hammond is underway.
1:15:36.240 --> 1:15:37.280
Argh!
1:15:38.520 --> 1:15:41.360
In your own time.
Quick as you like.
1:15:46.680 --> 1:15:47.920
Are you ready?
1:15:48.680 --> 1:15:50.360
Job one, tie on.
1:15:51.600 --> 1:15:53.320
Right, perfect.
1:15:53.360 --> 1:15:56.080
Now, pull me along.
1:15:56.560 --> 1:15:57.960
Go, go. Power.
1:15:59.600 --> 1:16:01.320
[Jeremy laughs]
1:16:04.720 --> 1:16:06.560
Oh, give me strength.
1:16:06.600 --> 1:16:09.200
You pulled the bloody
fishing-rod holder off...
1:16:09.240 --> 1:16:10.760
[Richard] I didn't tie it
to the fishing rod.
1:16:10.800 --> 1:16:12.440
Why did you tie it
to the fishing...
1:16:12.480 --> 1:16:15.400
[Jeremy] I didn't
tie it to the fishing rod,
you blithering idiot.
1:16:15.440 --> 1:16:18.280
Right, are you ready?
We're setting off.
1:16:28.080 --> 1:16:30.080
Ooh-ho!
1:16:30.120 --> 1:16:32.120
[Jeremy] Hammond's gone
upside down again.
1:16:36.600 --> 1:16:38.000
[laughs]
1:16:38.040 --> 1:16:41.600
[James] What the f... Oh, jeez.
How has he done--
1:16:42.760 --> 1:16:45.040
[Jeremy laughing]
1:16:45.080 --> 1:16:48.640
[Richard shouting indistinctly]
1:16:53.600 --> 1:16:55.680
[Jeremy] I'll pull you in.
1:16:55.720 --> 1:16:57.720
[Jeremy] Weirdly, none of
the other locals
1:16:57.760 --> 1:16:59.840
would lend us
a boat after that.
1:17:01.640 --> 1:17:06.520
So, we had to drag
the new section
into place by hand.
1:17:08.400 --> 1:17:11.440
Look at this, I'm moving
100 meters of bridge
1:17:12.240 --> 1:17:14.520
all by myself.
1:17:14.560 --> 1:17:17.000
-Water's really
slippery, isn't it?
-Yeah.
1:17:18.080 --> 1:17:20.440
Ready? Look at that
for docking.
1:17:20.480 --> 1:17:22.200
There you go.
1:17:23.680 --> 1:17:25.760
[Jeremy] Work continued
for the rest of the day...
1:17:33.360 --> 1:17:36.200
Ugh. Now, I need to pull
this corner in, don't we?
1:17:38.480 --> 1:17:40.160
No, there's...
1:17:40.200 --> 1:17:42.720
[Jeremy] ...until,
by late afternoon,
1:17:42.760 --> 1:17:46.120
our arrow-straight
bridge was finished.
1:18:02.440 --> 1:18:06.200
And since James was
the only one of us
who thought it would work,
1:18:06.240 --> 1:18:09.960
Hammond and I decided
he should go first.
1:18:11.520 --> 1:18:13.520
[engine revving]
1:18:14.320 --> 1:18:16.400
Ts and Ps good.
1:18:16.440 --> 1:18:18.000
What is the chance
1:18:18.040 --> 1:18:19.040
-of him making it...
-Minimal, I'd say.
1:18:19.080 --> 1:18:20.720
...across there?
Negligible.
1:18:29.080 --> 1:18:32.080
[James whimpers]
1:18:32.120 --> 1:18:35.320
Oh, my God, the road
is floating in front of me.
1:18:38.120 --> 1:18:39.800
[Richard] Oh, my God,
look how it moves!
1:18:39.840 --> 1:18:43.160
[Jeremy] It's actually sinking
as he drives along.
1:18:46.760 --> 1:18:50.000
Jeez. That is weird.
1:18:53.080 --> 1:18:58.520
All right, chaps,
I'm not gonna lie to you,
this feels a bit perilous.
1:18:58.560 --> 1:19:00.000
That's 30-feet
of water he's driving...
1:19:00.040 --> 1:19:01.120
-In a Cadillac.
-...over.
1:19:04.840 --> 1:19:06.560
I know it's deep.
It was deep enough
1:19:06.600 --> 1:19:07.680
-to swallow my boat.
-It was.
1:19:09.640 --> 1:19:11.000
[thud]
1:19:11.040 --> 1:19:12.960
[James] Shit.
1:19:13.000 --> 1:19:15.600
I think my exhaust
may be dragging
on the floor.
1:19:18.320 --> 1:19:19.320
Agh!
1:19:22.200 --> 1:19:25.320
Now I'm crashing
into my own bridge.
1:19:34.080 --> 1:19:35.360
-Oh, I think his ex...
-Oh.
1:19:35.400 --> 1:19:37.760
I think he's
grounding out
where it dips.
1:19:37.800 --> 1:19:39.400
[engine revs]
1:19:41.120 --> 1:19:42.560
Oh, this is hilarious.
1:19:51.800 --> 1:19:53.600
I don't think you'll be
able to see this, viewers,
1:19:53.640 --> 1:19:56.240
but on that side of the car,
the wheels have collapsed,
1:19:56.280 --> 1:19:58.880
each of them,
one of these elements.
1:19:58.920 --> 1:20:00.640
So I'm now
against chocks.
1:20:00.680 --> 1:20:02.360
And the...
the other side of that
1:20:02.400 --> 1:20:04.640
is that the exhaust
is now down on the ground
1:20:04.680 --> 1:20:07.000
and the end of the exhaust
is wedged in one of the joins.
1:20:07.040 --> 1:20:09.720
So it's completely stuck.
1:20:09.760 --> 1:20:12.000
There is a solution,
but I don't know you'll be
prepared to do it.
1:20:12.040 --> 1:20:13.080
What is it?
1:20:13.120 --> 1:20:15.640
Well, you go
and help him out.
1:20:15.680 --> 1:20:19.320
That would mean four tons
of American land yacht
1:20:19.360 --> 1:20:21.280
on the same bit
of plastic in the ocean.
1:20:21.320 --> 1:20:22.640
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
1:20:24.000 --> 1:20:25.760
[Jeremy] But since
James was now
1:20:25.800 --> 1:20:31.400
a huge burgundy
obstacle to our success,
there was nothing for it.
1:20:40.680 --> 1:20:41.960
Power, increase speed.
1:20:45.560 --> 1:20:48.800
Oh, shit. The back
of the car's dipping.
1:20:48.840 --> 1:20:52.960
God, I'm completely...
I'm arse down.
I can hardly see a thing.
1:20:58.160 --> 1:21:00.080
I can see Thunderbird II
approaching.
1:21:01.960 --> 1:21:03.000
Air...
1:21:04.160 --> 1:21:05.240
[hisses]
1:21:05.280 --> 1:21:06.320
Working.
1:21:08.320 --> 1:21:10.840
You're gonna have to
give me a fairly hefty shove
and keep going.
1:21:11.680 --> 1:21:14.840
Right, James May,
here I come.
1:21:15.640 --> 1:21:16.720
[thuds]
1:21:16.760 --> 1:21:19.880
[engine revving]
1:21:26.880 --> 1:21:28.920
That didn't work.
Let's try something else.
1:21:29.720 --> 1:21:31.320
I'm gonna back up, yes?
1:21:34.080 --> 1:21:35.960
And then I'll create a wash.
1:21:36.000 --> 1:21:37.040
Yes?
1:21:38.600 --> 1:21:41.920
When the wash lifts
the back of your car up,
hoof it.
1:21:43.200 --> 1:21:45.320
Here it comes,
here it comes.
1:21:55.240 --> 1:21:56.840
-[engine revving]
-[Jeremy] Go, go, go.
1:21:59.320 --> 1:22:01.600
[James] Bollocks and arse.
1:22:01.640 --> 1:22:04.000
Hammond, could you come
and offer some assistance here?
1:22:08.120 --> 1:22:09.840
Right, I think I'm on.
1:22:14.760 --> 1:22:17.920
I'd like to be able
to see a bit more
than I can see now.
1:22:25.120 --> 1:22:28.120
Ah! Oh, God.
1:22:30.120 --> 1:22:32.600
I do not wanna go
in that water again.
1:22:34.120 --> 1:22:37.880
[Jeremy] Amazingly, the world's
most accident-prone driver
1:22:37.920 --> 1:22:39.960
made it without incident.
1:22:41.320 --> 1:22:44.480
[Richard] Jeremy, I'm here now.
Can I help?
1:22:44.520 --> 1:22:47.200
[Jeremy] Hammond,
I've had a brilliant idea.
1:22:47.240 --> 1:22:49.000
[Richard] Go on.
1:22:49.040 --> 1:22:51.600
If we both drove
at him at high speed
1:22:51.640 --> 1:22:54.160
and then braked
to create the wash,
1:22:54.200 --> 1:22:56.760
that might be enough
to lift him up and on.
1:22:56.800 --> 1:22:58.760
Or double the stresses
and break the bridge.
1:22:58.800 --> 1:23:01.040
But it's our
only shot, isn't it?
1:23:01.080 --> 1:23:03.280
Okay, I'm up for it.
You tell me when.
1:23:03.320 --> 1:23:07.360
Okay, this is really...
This requires precision driving.
1:23:08.760 --> 1:23:10.240
[James] I am ready.
1:23:11.200 --> 1:23:12.720
Hammond, are you ready?
1:23:12.760 --> 1:23:14.080
[Richard] I am ready.
1:23:14.720 --> 1:23:15.920
[engine starts]
1:23:16.800 --> 1:23:18.840
[engine starts]
1:23:19.640 --> 1:23:20.920
[engine sputters]
1:23:23.400 --> 1:23:24.920
My car won't start.
1:23:26.560 --> 1:23:28.080
Oh, God.
1:23:30.160 --> 1:23:31.240
What?
1:23:33.520 --> 1:23:38.680
Sit rep, I am the meat
in an incompetent sandwich.
1:23:41.200 --> 1:23:42.680
[engine starts]
1:23:42.720 --> 1:23:45.000
It's all right, it's started.
1:23:45.040 --> 1:23:49.040
[Jeremy] Right, gentlemen,
we are ready back here.
1:23:53.120 --> 1:23:56.440
In three, two, one... now.
1:24:10.640 --> 1:24:13.080
Braking... now!
1:24:14.520 --> 1:24:16.280
Go, go, go.
1:24:19.440 --> 1:24:21.000
[Richard] Yes!
1:24:21.040 --> 1:24:23.360
[Jeremy] It worked.
It bloody worked.
1:24:23.400 --> 1:24:25.880
[whooping]
1:24:27.200 --> 1:24:29.280
[James] Very good. Thank you.
1:24:39.640 --> 1:24:44.280
[Richard] Oh, I say!
My people have recognized me!
1:24:44.320 --> 1:24:45.760
[Jeremy]
I think Mr. Wilman's done that.
1:24:45.800 --> 1:24:47.120
[Richard] Yeah, he has.
1:24:48.680 --> 1:24:51.040
I can't wait to see
our commune.
1:24:54.000 --> 1:24:57.560
What we're looking for
is an American-style
town, I imagine.
1:25:01.360 --> 1:25:05.160
That's like Oklahoma.
Look at that.
1:25:05.600 --> 1:25:06.840
Cows.
1:25:08.480 --> 1:25:11.800
That's a remarkable journey,
all the way across Scotland,
1:25:11.840 --> 1:25:15.240
all the way across Skye,
all the way across...
1:25:15.280 --> 1:25:16.520
[James]
I'm gonna have to stop.
1:25:16.560 --> 1:25:18.840
I've got
the warning lights on
and everything.
1:25:18.880 --> 1:25:21.400
Something's going wrong.
My car smell...
1:25:22.320 --> 1:25:23.960
[Jeremy]
James, we're literally--
1:25:24.000 --> 1:25:25.640
[James] No, I know,
but I don't want to fail
1:25:25.680 --> 1:25:27.960
100 yards from our commune.
1:25:28.000 --> 1:25:31.200
I want to arrive in glory.
So just give me a few minutes.
1:25:33.240 --> 1:25:36.600
[Jeremy] How's he managed
to break it
on the last 100 yards?
1:25:36.640 --> 1:25:38.920
What a blithering idiot he is.
1:25:38.960 --> 1:25:40.480
I can't open the hood.
1:25:40.520 --> 1:25:41.840
[blows raspberries]
1:25:42.880 --> 1:25:44.680
[Jeremy] Um, Hammond,
I've had an idea.
1:25:44.720 --> 1:25:46.640
There's literally nothing
we can do to help him
1:25:46.680 --> 1:25:49.560
so let's go and have
a look at that spiky
building over there.
1:25:50.440 --> 1:25:51.400
Glad to.
1:25:52.440 --> 1:25:53.880
Onwards.
1:25:53.920 --> 1:25:55.720
[engine sputters]
1:25:55.760 --> 1:25:59.120
Oh, God, you're joking.
It can't be.
1:25:59.160 --> 1:26:01.080
[Richard] Uh,
it won't start.
1:26:01.120 --> 1:26:02.960
So both of them
have broken down.
1:26:03.000 --> 1:26:05.320
One hundred yards
from the finish line.
1:26:05.360 --> 1:26:08.000
Right, well, um, let's think.
1:26:08.040 --> 1:26:09.400
Mine will.
1:26:11.400 --> 1:26:13.080
And has. There it is.
1:26:19.400 --> 1:26:21.200
After a short drive,
1:26:23.160 --> 1:26:25.560
I arrived at our commune.
1:26:30.400 --> 1:26:34.760
Crikey. Mr. Wilman's
been busy.
1:26:42.720 --> 1:26:44.080
Look at that!
1:26:46.200 --> 1:26:48.280
Laser Quest. Multiplex.
1:26:53.000 --> 1:26:55.200
Look at this, a sports bar!
1:26:58.880 --> 1:27:01.800
And 5G on my mobile.
How's that possible?
1:27:03.600 --> 1:27:04.920
Weird.
1:27:12.160 --> 1:27:13.760
Is that an MG?
1:27:15.560 --> 1:27:17.080
What's that doing here?
1:27:22.120 --> 1:27:27.560
Evening, barman. I'll have
three pints of Budweiser
with cheese, please.
1:27:30.640 --> 1:27:33.760
Eventually, I was joined
by my colleagues.
1:27:35.120 --> 1:27:37.240
-Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
-Ooh!
1:27:37.280 --> 1:27:40.640
-Your beers await.
-Aah! Ho-ho!
And there it is!
1:27:40.680 --> 1:27:42.960
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Pause.
Just savor the moment.
1:27:43.000 --> 1:27:44.440
Yeah, I know what you mean.
1:27:44.480 --> 1:27:46.880
Budweiser!
There you are!
1:27:46.920 --> 1:27:50.160
Do you know,
they only had Tsingtao?
1:27:50.200 --> 1:27:51.360
-Really?
-Yeah.
1:27:51.400 --> 1:27:52.600
Well, MGD?
1:27:52.640 --> 1:27:55.400
No, only Tsingtao.
1:27:55.440 --> 1:27:57.120
Anyway, look,
let's get something to eat.
1:27:57.160 --> 1:27:58.680
[Richard] Yes, food.
1:27:58.720 --> 1:28:00.680
Food, in this.
Look, I'm in st...
1:28:00.720 --> 1:28:03.160
I... I can't believe
Mr. Wilman's made this.
1:28:03.200 --> 1:28:04.920
I've totally come...
I've totally come home.
1:28:04.960 --> 1:28:07.200
My Buick Riviera
is parked outside
1:28:07.240 --> 1:28:08.720
-and I'm in here!
-Yeah, I know!
1:28:08.760 --> 1:28:10.920
-Everything is good!
-It's staggering, isn't it?
1:28:10.960 --> 1:28:12.800
And I fancy...
1:28:12.840 --> 1:28:15.880
surf and turf?
No, wait...
1:28:15.920 --> 1:28:18.960
[in American accent]
Monterey Jack.
I want some Monterey Jack.
1:28:28.480 --> 1:28:30.560
[Jeremy] What?
1:28:30.600 --> 1:28:35.120
[Richard] Chaps, um, it's not...
It's not just the menu.
1:28:35.160 --> 1:28:37.480
Nothing in here
feels quite right.
1:28:39.600 --> 1:28:40.960
That is weird.
1:28:52.200 --> 1:28:56.120
Do you know, this place
has only been open,
what, a week?
1:28:56.160 --> 1:29:00.240
And already, every
single thing in here
1:29:01.560 --> 1:29:02.960
is Chinese.
1:29:08.680 --> 1:29:11.960
And on that
terrible disappointment
it's time to end.
1:29:12.000 --> 1:29:13.400
We will be back.
1:29:13.440 --> 1:29:16.120
We don't know where,
we don't know when,
but we will.
1:29:16.160 --> 1:29:18.520
And we will see you then.
Thank you so much for watching.
1:29:18.560 --> 1:29:19.560
Goodbye.
1:29:22.840 --> 1:29:24.840
[theme music playing]
95799
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.