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1
00:00:02,872 --> 00:00:05,092
My turn.
2
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:14,449
Wait, wait, wait.
3
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,760
I had no idea homework
could be so funny.
4
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,986
It's suicide.
5
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,467
I don't care,
I'm going in.
6
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:41,302
♪ Yes, no, maybe
7
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,782
♪ I don't know
8
00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:47,134
♪ Can you repeat the question?
9
00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:49,353
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
10
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,486
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
11
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,183
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
12
00:00:53,227 --> 00:00:56,360
♪ And you're not so big
13
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,536
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
14
00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:00,799
♪ You're not
the boss of me now ♪
15
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:03,367
♪ You're not the boss
of me now ♪
16
00:01:03,411 --> 00:01:06,153
♪ And you're not so big
17
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:09,939
♪ Life is unfair.
18
00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:12,681
Guess what.
19
00:01:12,724 --> 00:01:14,596
I just got back from the doctor.
20
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:16,250
My spine is curved!
21
00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:17,947
How bad?
No gym for two years.
22
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,296
This is brilliant.
23
00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:22,778
I wonder if my third nipple
can get me out of wrestling.
24
00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:23,735
DABNEY:
It's worth a shot.
25
00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:25,041
Here comes...
26
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,695
her royal...
27
00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:28,175
bitchiness.
28
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:34,616
Cynthia just got back
from a semester in New York
29
00:01:34,659 --> 00:01:36,357
and she's totally changed.
30
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:37,575
She always used to be so happy.
31
00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,490
Now it's like
she's given up on life.
32
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:41,318
She's bitter and sarcastic.
33
00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:43,233
I mean, I could pull it off,
34
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:44,365
but on her
it's really unpleasant.
35
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:49,239
Malcolm, can you ask
your lemmings to move the herd
36
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:51,285
an inch to the left
so I could get past?
37
00:01:51,328 --> 00:01:54,244
I'm sorry,
did you say "inch"?
38
00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:56,290
Don't you mean
2.54 centimeters?
39
00:01:56,333 --> 00:01:58,292
Or .254 decimeters?
40
00:01:58,335 --> 00:02:01,295
Or 25.4 million nanometers?
41
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,079
Come on, guys,
stop teasing her.
42
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,385
You stink at it.
43
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,300
Don't defend her, Malcolm.
44
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,779
If I wanted
this kind of abuse,
45
00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:10,739
I'd have a conversation
with my oboe teacher.
46
00:02:10,782 --> 00:02:15,787
She's... dead... to us.
47
00:02:18,442 --> 00:02:21,750
Hey, are you okay?
48
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:24,318
What are you talking about?
What do you mean?
49
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,668
Well, you've been acting
kind of strange lately.
50
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:29,236
Malcolm, look around you
51
00:02:29,279 --> 00:02:32,326
and reconsider your
definition of strange.
52
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:35,372
Over 12% deviation
from vertical.
53
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,505
Fair enough.
54
00:02:40,029 --> 00:02:42,466
Dad, look how high my kite is.
55
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,207
Oh, that's great, son.
56
00:02:44,251 --> 00:02:45,426
That's terrific.
57
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,123
You want to try?
58
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:49,212
Uh, no.Why not?
59
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:50,561
I don't like kites.
60
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:52,824
What do you mean
you don't like kites?
61
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:55,087
I don't like kites
and they don't like me.
62
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,132
We-we just don't get along.
63
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,352
You'd like it
if you tried it.
64
00:02:58,395 --> 00:02:59,614
Come on. Just try it.
65
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,311
Hold the string.
66
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,154
Hey, Lois.
67
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,939
Karen, what are you
doing out there?
68
00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,811
Come on in.
69
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:23,812
I'm sorry.
70
00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:25,509
I didn't mean to lurk.
71
00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:27,859
I was working up the nerve
to talk to you.
72
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:29,383
Are you okay?
73
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:32,081
You look different.
74
00:03:32,124 --> 00:03:33,300
I'm sober.
75
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:34,431
Oh.
76
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:36,694
Yeah, after I drove across
that miniature golf course,
77
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:39,306
they made me get into
a 12-step program, so...
78
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:40,394
Good for you.
79
00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:42,134
Yeah, thanks.
I'm doing really great.
80
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:43,527
Anyway, I'm up to the part
81
00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:45,399
where I'm supposed
to make amends
82
00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:46,835
to the people that I've hurt.
83
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,619
What did you
ever do to me?
84
00:03:48,663 --> 00:03:50,447
Remember New Year's
at Deb and Rich's
85
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:53,102
where everyone was kissing
at midnight?
86
00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,103
Yeah.
87
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:55,539
Well, when I kissed
your husband,
88
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:58,542
I kind of...
stuck my tongue in his mouth.
89
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,283
I mean,
I felt really terrible.
90
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,415
And then after that
91
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,112
I put my cigarette out
in Rich's toupee.
92
00:04:03,155 --> 00:04:05,288
And those things go up
so quickly, I had...
93
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,899
You were French-kissing
my husband?
94
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:09,074
Don't be mad at him, Lois.
95
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:11,294
He pushed me away
after like five or six seconds.
96
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,427
Well, it was definitely
no more than ten.
97
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:14,558
And I'm sure
the only reason
98
00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:15,864
he was moving his tongue around
99
00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:17,866
was because he was trying
to say something.
100
00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:19,084
That's enough, Karen.
101
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:20,216
I-I-I get it.
102
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:21,870
I'm sorry.
103
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,525
Now I have to go
over to Stephanie's
104
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:26,918
and tell her she can take
down those lost dog posters.
105
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:31,140
Come on, Francis.
106
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,359
It's Friday night.
107
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:34,361
Can we please go out
and get hammered?
108
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,537
Is getting drunk all
you ever think about?
109
00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:37,364
I mean, look at us.
110
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:38,669
We work like dogs all day.
111
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,976
We drink and then we work
like hungover dogs.
112
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,326
Is this really how
you pictured your life?
113
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,893
Ever since I was little.
114
00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,329
Why, what'd you picture?
115
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,461
I don't know.
116
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,158
There's just got
to be more to life
117
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,464
than getting
falling-down drunk
118
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:51,943
and behaving
like a jackass.
119
00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:55,512
Just looky what we found.
120
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,126
You stole a totem pole?No, no, no,
121
00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,563
he asked to
come with us.
122
00:05:02,606 --> 00:05:05,174
He hasn't shut up
for an hour.
123
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:06,393
You can't leave
this here.
124
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:08,351
People worship these things.
125
00:05:08,395 --> 00:05:09,918
It's like a sacred object.
126
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,963
Do I have something in my teeth?
127
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,574
Be honest.
128
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:14,923
What is wrong with you people?!
129
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,621
You see a symbol
of a world
130
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:19,406
beyond scraping grease,
and your first thought is,
131
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,364
let's profane it
in our cabin?
132
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:24,585
Don't you have any respect
for anything?!
133
00:05:25,499 --> 00:05:26,761
Look, a penny.
134
00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:27,936
It's mine!
135
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:29,154
I saw it first!
136
00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:32,636
CYNTHIA:
Is my coffee ready yet?
137
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,769
I can't believe you
only have instant.
138
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:38,076
I'm sorry our "Fol-gérs"
isn't up to your standards.
139
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,600
And I'd be a little
more impressed
140
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,297
with your coffee-drinking
sophistication
141
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,212
if you weren't wearing
a kitty sweater.
142
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:44,953
I'm supposed to take style tips
143
00:05:44,996 --> 00:05:47,869
from someone who keeps track
of wrestling feuds.
144
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,566
You know,
ever since you've been back,
145
00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:50,654
you've been mean to everyone.
146
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:52,656
I know you think
you're better than us.
147
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:53,831
Even if that's true,
148
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,311
it doesn't give you
the right
149
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:56,312
to be nasty.
150
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,444
If you keep this up,
151
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:58,662
you're not going
to have any friends.
152
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:01,404
You think you know
what everybody's problem is?
153
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:02,623
Well, guess what,
you don't.
154
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,668
You think you're so smart
and together
155
00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:07,889
and that no one notices
what an unhappy little person
156
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:09,238
you are.
157
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:10,413
I'm sorry.
158
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:11,458
I'm not going to stroke
159
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:14,199
your fragile ego
by confiding in you.
160
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:15,244
Oh, yeah?
161
00:06:15,287 --> 00:06:17,246
Well, you're on fire.
162
00:06:28,953 --> 00:06:30,955
Mommy.
163
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,614
CYNTHIA:
How could you
do that to me?
164
00:06:37,658 --> 00:06:39,660
You were on fire.
I was just trying to help.
165
00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:41,488
How does yelling,
"Oh, my God,
166
00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,620
where did those
come from?" help?
167
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:44,621
I'm sorry.
168
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,057
It just...
169
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:47,232
you scared me.
170
00:06:47,276 --> 00:06:48,059
They scared me.
171
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,496
I mean, they don't scare me.
172
00:06:49,539 --> 00:06:50,627
They startled me. I...
173
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:51,498
I hate this.
174
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,674
Everyone looks at me
like you did.
175
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,284
Like I'm some kind of freak.
176
00:06:55,327 --> 00:06:57,112
I was surprised, that's all.
177
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,679
It's just really different.
178
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,463
I mean, I would react
the same way
179
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,117
if you had a new haircut.
180
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:03,684
A giant haircut.
181
00:07:03,727 --> 00:07:05,860
No one can know
about this.
182
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,688
You can't tell anyone!
183
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:08,950
What are you talking about?
184
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:10,168
Promise me.But...
185
00:07:10,212 --> 00:07:11,343
Promise.
186
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:12,344
All right. All right.
187
00:07:12,388 --> 00:07:13,520
I promise.
188
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,391
Come on. You're fine.
189
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,481
This is just a change
on the outside.
190
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:21,397
I mean, inside
you're the same.
191
00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:24,095
If you give people a chance,
they'll see that.
192
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:26,271
Will you stop staring at them?
193
00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:28,491
Am... am I staring?
194
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:29,884
Dad, I've been thinking
195
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:32,539
about how to fix
your kite problem.
196
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:35,063
I don't have a kite problem.
197
00:07:35,106 --> 00:07:36,194
It's okay, Dad.
198
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,631
Maybe we could start
199
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:40,111
with you explaining
why you hate kites.
200
00:07:41,896 --> 00:07:44,507
Let me try it. I want to try.
201
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,466
Fine. Here, jerk.
202
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:56,911
Help me! Help!
203
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:04,962
I just do! There doesn't need
to be a reason.
204
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:09,663
Doesn't Dewey
ever have any homework?
205
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:10,577
He seems to have
206
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,753
an awful lot of time
on his hands.
207
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,581
Something wrong?Yesterday I had
208
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:17,148
the most interesting
conversation with Karen.
209
00:08:17,192 --> 00:08:18,759
She's in this program
210
00:08:18,802 --> 00:08:20,761
where you have to apologize
to your loved ones,
211
00:08:20,804 --> 00:08:22,806
and it got me thinking...
212
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:26,201
do I have anything that
I need to apologize for?
213
00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:27,419
Okay, by you, you mean me.
214
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,378
And since you're phrasing it
as a question,
215
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,032
it means you already
know the answer.
216
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:33,469
Karen told me that
you French-kissed her
217
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,601
on New Year's Eve.
218
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,385
What? I did not.
219
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:38,822
I can't believe it.
220
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:41,390
You-You're actually accusing me
of this?
221
00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:42,913
Why would Karen lie?
222
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:43,784
Why would Ilie?
223
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:45,481
Lois, for the past 20 years
224
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,830
yours has been
the only tongue
225
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:47,788
that's been in my mouth.
226
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,442
Now, you're just going
to have to believe that.
227
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:51,618
I don't lie.
228
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,620
So, are we going
to fly kites tomorrow?
229
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:56,840
Sorry, son, I have
to testify at a
murder trial.
230
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:57,754
But darn it, you're my son
231
00:08:57,798 --> 00:08:59,756
and I want to go to
the park with you.
232
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,279
Thanks, Dad.
233
00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:02,411
The kids don't count.
234
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:03,847
Hal, it wouldn't be
such a big deal
235
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,196
if you would just admit it.
236
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,720
Oh, come on, Lois.
237
00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:09,461
What possible reason would
I have to kiss Karen?
238
00:09:09,505 --> 00:09:10,637
You're a man.
239
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:11,638
What is that
supposed to mean?
240
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:13,814
You have been with the same
woman all these years.
241
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:17,078
It's only natural
to be a little... curious.
242
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:18,427
About what?
243
00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:19,428
You mean to tell me,
244
00:09:19,471 --> 00:09:20,821
after all these years
of marriage,
245
00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:23,606
you've never even so much
as thought about another woman?
246
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,000
What are you talking about?
247
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:27,828
If you are just going
to be ridiculous,
248
00:09:27,871 --> 00:09:31,092
there is no point in carrying on
this conversation.
249
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:34,486
But you are on notice.
250
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,799
Wait! I want to talk to you!
251
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:49,458
You are unhappy.
252
00:09:49,501 --> 00:09:50,851
Yes, I am.
253
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:51,634
Why?
254
00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:53,636
I think
I may have ruined my life.
255
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,030
I left my family and friends
to come up here.
256
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,119
I was supposed
to be finding myself,
257
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,774
but all I feel is empty.
258
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:04,038
I have the answer
to your suffering, Francis.
259
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:05,474
The answer is...
260
00:10:05,517 --> 00:10:06,780
PETE:
Francis!
261
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:07,694
Oh.
262
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,434
Who was that spiky-head kid
263
00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:11,219
that was friends
with Little Lulu?
264
00:10:11,262 --> 00:10:12,220
What?
265
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:13,525
Ah, don't worry.
266
00:10:13,569 --> 00:10:16,746
Maybe it'll come to you
if you sleep on it, hmm?
267
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:23,753
Everything's ready.
268
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:24,798
The kite tail is set.
269
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,016
It's a windy day.
270
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,714
Now, say it.
271
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,803
I am not cursed.
272
00:10:29,846 --> 00:10:30,673
Good. Now, run
273
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:33,720
and don't stop
until it's in the air.
274
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:40,030
I am not cursed.
I am not cursed.
275
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:45,296
Come on, get out
of the field.
276
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:48,517
Oh, excuse me.
277
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:50,693
Sorry.
278
00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:56,525
It's flying!
It's flying!
279
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,836
I can't believe
280
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,490
you guys threw refrigerator
magnets at Dabney's back brace.
281
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:06,622
Come on. It was great.
282
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,971
He was walking
around all day
283
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:09,973
with "Florida is for
Lovers" on his back.
284
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,934
That laugh is so not cute.
285
00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:16,937
I'm sorry my laugh
isn't as melodious
286
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,982
as your lovely, cracking voice.
287
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:20,941
"My name's Malcolm.
288
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:23,726
I have all the answers,
but no one to listen to me."
289
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:24,945
Oh, that's funny.
290
00:11:28,992 --> 00:11:30,559
This was fun.
291
00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:33,693
Hi, Reese.
292
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:36,347
What a pig.
293
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,306
What?
What happened
to your friend?
294
00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:40,830
She was never that
great, but now, geez.
295
00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,789
It's like she's
trying to be ugly.
296
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:44,007
Shut up.
Someone
should tell her
297
00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:46,357
she's not in
Euro-pee-uh anymore.
298
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:47,968
In America
we take showers.
299
00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:49,796
Drop it, Reese.
She doesn't smell.
300
00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,972
Well, she dresses
like a bag lady.
301
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:52,973
Oh, oh, I know.
302
00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:55,802
Her butt is gigantic, and
she's trying to hide it.
303
00:11:55,845 --> 00:11:57,020
This is so great.
304
00:11:57,064 --> 00:11:58,761
I have so much
material for that.
305
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:00,371
I have a "wide load"
sticker
306
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:02,765
and I can make
the truck noise
when she backs up.
307
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,680
Beep, beep, beep...
308
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,552
Reese, when exactly
is she going to back up?
309
00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:08,684
You're right.
310
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,990
Okay, when's her
lunch period?
311
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,818
I think I'll sneak in
and throw bacon at her.
312
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:12,775
Then she'll back up.
313
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:13,776
Beep, beep, beep...
314
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:15,952
Look, moron,
she's not hiding her butt.
315
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:18,128
She's hiding her big boobs,
okay?
316
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:22,350
So, if you tease her,
you're just going
to look like a...
317
00:12:22,393 --> 00:12:25,396
You are a good,
good brother.
318
00:12:25,440 --> 00:12:26,920
No.
319
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:29,226
I lied.
Her butt ishuge.
320
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:36,886
I think it helped Cynthia
321
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:37,931
to tell me
what was bothering her.
322
00:12:37,974 --> 00:12:39,889
She's been in a much better mood
at school.
323
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:42,022
She even stuck her homework
up on Dabney's back.
324
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,634
What are you doing?!Algebra.
325
00:12:49,072 --> 00:12:50,378
What did he say to you?
326
00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:51,509
Malcolm, calm down.
327
00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:54,034
I'm just helping him
with his homework.
328
00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:55,949
You know Reese doesn't
care about school.
329
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,167
That's what Ithought,
330
00:12:57,211 --> 00:13:00,083
but when he asked
me for help,
331
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:03,826
he sounded so pathetic,
I couldn't say no.
332
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,611
How are you doing
on number five?
333
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:09,397
Awful. I'm never going
to get this.
334
00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,051
I'm such an idiot.
335
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,443
No, you're not.
336
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:15,533
Everyone says I'm an idiot
all the time.
337
00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:16,839
Well, he is.
338
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,536
Malcolm!
339
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:19,973
It's not his fault.
340
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:22,192
Someone at some point
decided I was dumb,
341
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:24,107
and that's all
anyone ever sees of me.
342
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,283
Why do they always focus
on one detail?
343
00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:29,896
They can never look
at the whole person.
344
00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:32,376
I don't know.
345
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,991
Francis, man,
Lavernia's going to kill you
346
00:13:38,034 --> 00:13:39,906
if you miss another shift.
347
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,256
Let her. I'm not
walking away from this
totem pole right now.
348
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:43,910
Not when I'm this
close to figuring out
349
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:45,085
what it is it's
trying to tell me.
350
00:13:45,128 --> 00:13:47,043
Have you even eaten anything?
351
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:48,001
No. I'm fasting.
352
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,350
It helps my meditation.
353
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:51,091
I can't explain it,
but there's some kind
354
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,309
of an energy running
through this thing.
355
00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:53,484
It gave me that dream.
356
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,878
It's trying to help me
get to something.
357
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,488
That's it. We're getting rid
of this thing,
358
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,664
and we're putting you back
on corn dogs and porn
359
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,231
for your own safety.
360
00:14:03,494 --> 00:14:05,714
Back away from the pole.
361
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:10,371
So... you guys want to go...
362
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:12,373
shoot some eagles?
363
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:15,158
Nothing else to do.
364
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:23,819
What are you going
365
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:24,689
to do to her?
366
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:26,778
I don't know what you're
talking about.
367
00:14:26,822 --> 00:14:28,955
Okay, I've been dying
to tell someone.
368
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:30,826
Malcolm,
I'm going to see them.
369
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,088
What?I'm going to be nice
to her,
370
00:14:32,132 --> 00:14:35,309
make her my girlfriend,
and get her to take her top off.
371
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:36,266
You're crazy.
372
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:37,920
That's what Ithought
at first,
373
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:39,748
but I've got it
all figured out.
374
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:43,143
I've been working on this
for days.
375
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:45,710
Tomorrow I'll reveal
an embarrassing secret
376
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,060
that makes her feel trusted.
377
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,932
Friday I'll sneak a kiss
and then apologize.
378
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:52,021
Three days later
I actually ask her out,
379
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:54,154
she catches me crying,
make-out session,
380
00:14:54,197 --> 00:14:56,199
she discovers a love letter
in my back pocket,
381
00:14:56,243 --> 00:15:00,203
heavier make-out session,
all culminating in March 8:
382
00:15:00,247 --> 00:15:01,683
Double-D Day.
383
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,339
You're pure evil!
384
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,601
Who's more evil?
385
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:08,429
Me or the person who told me?
386
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:11,084
You!Yeah, but you'dstill be
in trouble.
387
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,086
I bet she'd never
forgive you.
388
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:14,304
Now, if you'll excuse me,
389
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:16,437
I have to go make
a mix tape.
390
00:15:18,395 --> 00:15:20,441
Okay, so we had
a little setback,
391
00:15:20,484 --> 00:15:22,182
but don't give up.
392
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:24,880
:
Oh, forget it!
393
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,360
I'm sick of this!
394
00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:27,143
I hate kites!
395
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,624
I have always hated kites!
396
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:33,193
Dad, don't freak out
in front of the other kids.
397
00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:35,021
No! I'm never
going to get this
398
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,587
and I don't want to!
399
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,111
You can't just give up.
400
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:40,461
I can give up
whenever I want
to, and I give up!
401
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:41,810
That's it!
402
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:43,203
I'm tired of your attitude.
403
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:44,117
I'm going home.
404
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,468
Dewey! Dewey,
come back here.
405
00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:49,992
It's too far
for you to walk.
406
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:50,993
Oh!
407
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,648
Dewey!
408
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:56,651
Dewey, stop!
409
00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:58,566
Dewey!
410
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:01,221
Don't you ever run
away like that again!
411
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:04,702
There's something
on the back of your pants.
412
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,841
I'm flying a kite!
413
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,670
I'm flying a kite!
414
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:17,237
Lois, I did it!
415
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:18,064
I did it!
416
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:19,848
I actually flew a kite!
417
00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:22,807
I can't believe
I actually thought
these were evil.
418
00:16:22,851 --> 00:16:23,852
I love this kite.
419
00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:25,680
Why don't you kiss it?
420
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:27,421
Oh, for God's sake.
421
00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,858
Are you still
obsessing about that?
422
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,816
I want a straight answer
out of you.
423
00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:33,122
Lois, I swear,
424
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:34,428
from the moment
I laid eyes on you,
425
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,908
you were the only woman
in the world for me.
426
00:16:36,952 --> 00:16:37,909
So you mean to tell me
427
00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,172
that unlike
any other man alive,
428
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:40,956
you don't even have
a glancing interest
429
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,175
for other women?
430
00:16:42,218 --> 00:16:44,873
You and you alone stand
outside the dictates
431
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:46,614
of millions of years
of evolution?
432
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:49,530
Why is that so hard
for you to believe?
433
00:16:49,573 --> 00:16:52,533
Because I look at other men!
434
00:16:53,882 --> 00:16:55,405
Not seriously
435
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:57,059
and I would never
do anything about it,
436
00:16:57,103 --> 00:17:00,062
but, God, Hal, I notice.
437
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,934
And if you don't,
it means that...
438
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:06,242
...it means that
you love me
439
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,288
more than I love you.
440
00:17:08,330 --> 00:17:11,204
Well, honey, that's
always been true.
441
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,118
Of course I love you more.
442
00:17:13,162 --> 00:17:15,425
And you're okay with that?
443
00:17:15,469 --> 00:17:16,731
Oh, yeah.
444
00:17:16,773 --> 00:17:17,949
I mean, think about it.
445
00:17:17,992 --> 00:17:19,473
If you loved me
as much as I loved you,
446
00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,300
we'd never leave the bedroom.
447
00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,345
Nothing would get done.
448
00:17:22,388 --> 00:17:24,217
We'd die of starvation.
449
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:27,089
:
I love you!
450
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,309
Oh...
451
00:17:30,136 --> 00:17:32,790
Not as much
as I love you.
452
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:35,228
I have fasted, I have meditated,
453
00:17:35,271 --> 00:17:38,144
I got frostbite spending a night
in the wilderness.
454
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:41,103
I just want to know what to do.
455
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,365
What am I missing?
456
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:44,498
Okay, let's see, there's a wolf.
457
00:17:44,541 --> 00:17:45,977
What's that?
458
00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:47,370
Loyalty.
459
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,676
And the eagle.
460
00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:51,722
Keen insight. Insight.
461
00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:53,333
And the frog is...
462
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,378
bug-eating.
463
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:58,120
But what does it have to do
with anything?!
464
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:02,994
Please, just give me a sign
or-or a signal or-or something!
465
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:07,042
Oh, my God!
466
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,611
You the dirtbag
that took my pole?
Huh?
467
00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:12,352
That's my pole.
468
00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,614
I want it back.
469
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:14,963
Oh, of course.
470
00:18:15,006 --> 00:18:16,486
I'm so sorry.
471
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,749
Look, I didn't take it,
but, please, I'm going crazy.
472
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,490
Can you tell me what it means?
473
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:22,101
Well, if I hit it,
474
00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:24,320
it means I'm five inches away
from the back of my carport.
475
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:27,845
What?! You use this
as a wheel stop?
476
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:30,152
This beautiful, sacred thing?
477
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:31,936
Sacred? It's a decoration.
478
00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:34,374
You know, like a coat
of arms or a storybook.
479
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:37,028
It's a pretty chunk of wood
that my kids helped me carve
480
00:18:37,072 --> 00:18:38,726
on a nice Saturday afternoon.
481
00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:42,251
But you can't tell me that
you can't feel the energy...!
482
00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:44,384
You white boys are all the same.
483
00:18:44,427 --> 00:18:47,213
I've got dark skin,
so I must dance with the bears
484
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:49,824
and listen to the spirit
of the wind.
485
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,391
I've got news for you.
486
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:52,392
I work for a living.
487
00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:56,178
I'm a Baptist,
and I'm proud of it.
488
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:57,832
But...
489
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,138
are you sure?
490
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:03,533
And by the way,
I have only one word for snow:
491
00:19:03,577 --> 00:19:06,101
snow.
492
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:13,282
No!
493
00:19:13,326 --> 00:19:13,804
Stop!
494
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,589
Malcolm...
495
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,895
Don't do this.
He's not who you think he is.
496
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,288
I didn't want
to tell you,
497
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:20,289
but the only reason
498
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:21,247
Reese has shown
any interest in you
499
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:23,031
is because I told him
you have big breasts.
500
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,467
What?It just happened.
501
00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:25,773
I'm really sorry.
502
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:28,471
But he only wants you
for your boobs.
503
00:19:28,515 --> 00:19:29,211
Stop saying that!
504
00:19:29,255 --> 00:19:31,213
He planned all this.
505
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:32,997
I can prove it.
506
00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:34,695
He wrote it all down.
507
00:19:34,738 --> 00:19:36,436
This isn't it.
508
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:37,872
Where's your real calendar?
509
00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,613
That ismy calendar.
510
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:42,093
All the proceeds went
to an animal shelter.
511
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,443
He's just using you.
512
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,314
And what's worse is
you're falling for it.
513
00:19:45,358 --> 00:19:47,316
Leave me alone!
514
00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:48,622
You heard her!
515
00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:50,841
But...
516
00:19:50,885 --> 00:19:52,495
What's her name?
517
00:19:52,539 --> 00:19:54,105
What?
518
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:57,108
What's... her... name?
519
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,853
I know what her name is.
520
00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:06,466
And I am not going
to dignify that with a response.
521
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:10,644
I know what her name is,
and her name... is...
522
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:14,735
Uh...
523
00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,869
How can you be so creepy?!
524
00:20:18,913 --> 00:20:19,870
Don't you even have
525
00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:21,437
the remotest sense
of decency
526
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:23,526
towards a fellow
human being?
527
00:20:23,570 --> 00:20:25,136
I have feelings!
528
00:20:25,180 --> 00:20:28,270
I will be treated
with respect!
529
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:30,185
I will not be
objectified!
530
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,275
I will not be humiliated
or demeaned!
531
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:34,755
Now kiss my shoe!
532
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:37,888
Kiss... my... shoe!
533
00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,325
HAL:
The private says,
534
00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:41,283
"But, General, I didn't
touch your toast!"
535
00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:44,330
So, Cynthia,
536
00:20:44,373 --> 00:20:46,157
something's
different about you.
537
00:20:46,201 --> 00:20:47,463
Did you get
538
00:20:47,507 --> 00:20:48,334
a haircut?
539
00:20:48,377 --> 00:20:49,770
Oh, very stylish.
540
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,338
LOIS:
Cynthia,
541
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:53,339
did you like Europe?
542
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,340
I did.
543
00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:55,471
I forget sometimes
544
00:20:55,515 --> 00:20:57,865
that there's a whole
world out there
545
00:20:57,908 --> 00:21:01,129
that's not full
of prurient,
adolescent boys.
546
00:21:01,172 --> 00:21:02,870
There's sophisticated people
547
00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,786
who treat me nicely and
keep their mouths shut.
548
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,701
I get it.
Oh...
549
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:09,790
Yes?
550
00:21:09,833 --> 00:21:11,313
Is-Is Lois here?
551
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:12,967
Honey?
Oh, my God.
552
00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:14,185
Are you Lois' husband?
553
00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:15,317
Uh-huh.
554
00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:17,406
So, who is married
to the bald guy
555
00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:18,407
with the earring?
556
00:21:18,451 --> 00:21:19,887
That's Donna.
557
00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:23,717
Darn it! I thought that was one
house I didn't have to go to.
558
00:21:24,544 --> 00:21:26,328
Excuse me.
559
00:21:27,373 --> 00:21:28,548
Oh, yeah, and by the way,
560
00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:29,375
I lived in your house
561
00:21:29,418 --> 00:21:31,377
while you were on vacation
last month.
562
00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:33,030
We didn't go on vacation.Darn it!
38117
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