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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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We don't have time for this.
3
00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:32,075
You're hurt. I get it.
4
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,868
Now, there's a way out of this.
5
00:00:33,910 --> 00:00:35,453
Okay?
6
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This never happened to me before.
7
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Really. Man.
8
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,426
Oh, man.
9
00:00:52,637 --> 00:00:54,138
Damn it.
10
00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:56,265
You never get a second chance
to make a first impression.
11
00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:59,227
You know?
12
00:00:59,268 --> 00:01:01,604
Hey! Oh, no, no, no, no! No!
13
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This time it's loaded.
14
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,111
Six bullets, each with your name on it
15
00:01:08,152 --> 00:01:10,154
if you don't get out
of my car right now!
16
00:01:12,657 --> 00:01:14,659
That said, I'm willing to negotiate.
17
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:20,081
Oh, I guess Evelyn
doesn't like you very much.
18
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,541
I'll make you a deal.
19
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,793
You scooch over, I'll
get you out of this alive.
20
00:01:23,835 --> 00:01:24,836
But you better think fast,
21
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'cause that ain't no birthday clown.
22
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Okay, go!
23
00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:40,226
Oh, shit.
24
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:46,107
Okay, L1, R1, up, down,
left, right, right, down, up.
25
00:01:50,570 --> 00:01:51,988
All right, Evelyn, we have nine days
26
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,281
to get away from this clown,
27
00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,283
ditch this psychopathic hitchhiker,
28
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,744
and make it to New Chicago.
29
00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,370
Hey, look! You forgot your seatbelt.
30
00:01:59,412 --> 00:02:02,331
Agh!
31
00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:26,647
Here for the show?
32
00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:29,525
I'm definitely here for the show!
33
00:02:46,751 --> 00:02:48,711
Oh, shit!
34
00:03:02,100 --> 00:03:04,060
You're not coming to my show?
35
00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:07,563
Well, then the show is coming to you!
36
00:03:36,092 --> 00:03:38,594
Suppertime!
37
00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:43,349
Stu, I love you, but
this is all your fault.
38
00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:44,559
How was I supposed to know
39
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,768
the woods would be
crawling with butchers.
40
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,562
They're talking about getting us exiled.
41
00:03:47,603 --> 00:03:49,522
You had to get caught sleeping on duty!
42
00:03:49,564 --> 00:03:51,566
Hey! You were sleeping, too!
43
00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:53,443
I wasn't the one snoring
like a goat in heat!
44
00:03:53,484 --> 00:03:54,610
It's called sleep apnea.
45
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:55,820
It's a real medical condition.
46
00:03:55,862 --> 00:03:57,864
And it would be a lot more manageable
47
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,700
if you hadn't traded in
my CPAP machine for porno.
48
00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:02,535
Well, excuse me for trying
to get you something dope
49
00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:03,661
for your birthday!
50
00:04:03,703 --> 00:04:04,829
You know what's dope?
51
00:04:04,871 --> 00:04:07,039
A full eight hours of sleep.
52
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,124
Dreaming is dope!
53
00:04:08,166 --> 00:04:09,208
- Francis!
- What?
54
00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:12,378
Why did you season both
meat baths in teriyaki sauce?
55
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:14,922
Francis, we talked about
diversifying flavors.
56
00:04:14,964 --> 00:04:16,424
Fine! Um...
57
00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:18,426
Oh, I'll cover the thick
one in lemon pepper.
58
00:04:18,468 --> 00:04:21,137
No, no!
59
00:04:21,179 --> 00:04:23,473
Oh, God, it's so tangy, dude!
60
00:04:23,514 --> 00:04:25,183
I call dibs on the man titties.
61
00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,482
Holy cow!
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00:04:34,192 --> 00:04:35,359
Clear!
63
00:04:47,789 --> 00:04:49,373
We don't usually find the pigs alive
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00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:53,795
before the luau. You can cut 'em loose.
65
00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:55,338
Butchers!
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00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:58,758
They'd rather eat the flesh
of their own kind than starve.
67
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:05,014
You guys are guards?
68
00:05:05,056 --> 00:05:06,974
We, uh, we used to be.
69
00:05:07,016 --> 00:05:08,935
- Uh, Mike and I were...
- On a scouting mission
70
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,937
from Seattle looking for trading routes.
71
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,814
Our car broke down and
the next thing you know
72
00:05:12,855 --> 00:05:14,732
we're getting grabbed by these assholes.
73
00:05:17,068 --> 00:05:20,446
We're always on the lookout
for upstanding citizens.
74
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:21,864
I'll give you guys a choice.
75
00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,783
You can try and make
your way back up north
76
00:05:23,825 --> 00:05:26,327
where it can be pretty dicey,
77
00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:28,496
or if you can take the grit,
78
00:05:28,538 --> 00:05:30,498
join us in bringing law and order
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00:05:30,540 --> 00:05:34,168
back to the Divided States of America.
80
00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:36,087
What do you say?
81
00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:42,885
Come on.
82
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:48,182
- Sweet.
- All right.
83
00:05:48,224 --> 00:05:50,059
Welcome to the law, huh?
84
00:05:50,101 --> 00:05:51,561
Yeah!
85
00:05:51,602 --> 00:05:53,688
- You guys.
- Don't go dying on us.
86
00:05:55,857 --> 00:05:59,694
I can't believe I
already got a flat tire.
87
00:05:59,736 --> 00:06:01,738
Way to go, John. Way to go.
88
00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,867
Hey, silent but not very deadly,
89
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:07,618
you gonna come over here
and help me with this?
90
00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:08,870
Don't shush me!
91
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:10,037
You come over here and
help me with the tire.
92
00:06:10,079 --> 00:06:13,541
♪ Toyland ♪
♪ Toyland ♪
93
00:06:13,583 --> 00:06:17,879
♪ Little girl and boy land ♪
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00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,048
I'm gonna handle this
shit. Watch my back.
95
00:06:20,089 --> 00:06:21,507
Ahh!
96
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,801
Ah, shit. Ahh!
97
00:06:23,843 --> 00:06:26,512
♪ When you dwell within it ♪
98
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:29,640
♪ You are ever happy then ♪
99
00:06:32,435 --> 00:06:36,397
You can hide,
100
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,900
but I have ways to find you.
101
00:06:42,487 --> 00:06:45,865
Marco! Marco!
102
00:06:45,907 --> 00:06:47,533
I'll be right back, Evelyn.
103
00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:49,494
I'll get us outta here.
104
00:06:49,535 --> 00:06:51,829
Marco!
105
00:06:53,998 --> 00:06:58,252
Damn! That usually works.
106
00:07:03,508 --> 00:07:05,134
Huh?
107
00:07:06,260 --> 00:07:07,887
Shh.
108
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:11,691
Oh, shit.
109
00:07:17,980 --> 00:07:19,941
Marco.
110
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:37,166
Well, hi there!
111
00:07:40,712 --> 00:07:42,422
Oh, that tickled.
112
00:07:42,463 --> 00:07:44,841
You know, my dad always
wanted to play catch,
113
00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,634
but he could never catch a ball.
114
00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:48,594
He could catch a bullet.
115
00:07:50,722 --> 00:07:52,682
Why are you scurrying
away, little squirrel?
116
00:07:52,724 --> 00:07:55,101
Looking for a nut?
117
00:07:57,979 --> 00:08:02,066
This is gonna be fun! Machete!
118
00:08:02,108 --> 00:08:04,402
Huh, swung a little wide there.
119
00:08:06,279 --> 00:08:09,240
Well, aren't we a tall glass of water!
120
00:08:09,282 --> 00:08:12,160
Me, I'm more of a Hawaiian punch!
121
00:08:13,911 --> 00:08:14,911
I'm guessing you don't fight much
122
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,414
outside of your car now, do you?
123
00:08:16,456 --> 00:08:19,375
Look, clown, I don't need
four wheels to kick your ass.
124
00:08:26,758 --> 00:08:28,593
Any chance we could get
this back in the cars?
125
00:08:33,306 --> 00:08:36,434
How about a little kill music?
126
00:08:36,476 --> 00:08:38,102
♪ Livin' la vida loca ♪
127
00:08:38,144 --> 00:08:40,480
♪ She had dumps like
a truck truck truck ♪
128
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:42,273
♪ Thighs like what what what ♪
129
00:08:42,315 --> 00:08:44,734
♪ Baby move your butt butt butt ♪
130
00:08:44,776 --> 00:08:45,985
♪ I think I'll sing it again ♪
131
00:08:46,027 --> 00:08:48,488
♪ She had dumps like
a truck truck truck ♪
132
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,406
♪ Thighs like what what what ♪
133
00:08:50,448 --> 00:08:52,408
♪ All night long ♪
134
00:08:52,450 --> 00:08:56,120
♪ Let me see that thong ♪
135
00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:57,365
♪ Likin' where the beat go ♪
136
00:08:57,366 --> 00:08:58,498
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
137
00:08:58,498 --> 00:09:00,374
- ♪ Baby let your bootie go ♪
- ♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
138
00:09:00,416 --> 00:09:01,417
♪ Girl you wanna show ♪
139
00:09:01,459 --> 00:09:02,543
♪ Da-da-da-da ♪
140
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:03,795
♪ That thong thong thong thong thong ♪
141
00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:06,464
Do you love the silver-haired God?
142
00:09:06,506 --> 00:09:07,799
And don't lie to me.
143
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:09,008
Yeah, man.
144
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,635
Look, I listened to "Unleash the Dragon"
145
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,261
so many times the disc broke.
146
00:09:12,303 --> 00:09:13,429
I'm not a liar.
147
00:09:13,471 --> 00:09:15,431
Well, you said you
were coming to my show
148
00:09:15,473 --> 00:09:16,766
and then you shot at me!
149
00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:18,393
It was a misunderstanding.
150
00:09:18,434 --> 00:09:21,479
I been getting shot at
ever since I can remember.
151
00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:23,773
It's force of habit, I guess.
152
00:09:23,815 --> 00:09:25,650
Sounds like you have trust issues.
153
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:26,984
Yeah, you're not wrong.
154
00:09:27,026 --> 00:09:28,694
Nice pipes, dude, I have to say.
155
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:31,155
That high note, whoo! It was perfect.
156
00:09:31,197 --> 00:09:33,491
- Oh, word?
- Yeah, can I go?
157
00:09:33,533 --> 00:09:34,826
I got somewhere to be.
158
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:36,452
I thought you said you
were coming to the show!
159
00:09:36,494 --> 00:09:39,539
Of course, I am.
160
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,458
Just can I leave after the show?
161
00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:50,633
Well, in that case,
tonight is opening night!
162
00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:56,222
How were your showers?
163
00:09:56,264 --> 00:09:57,932
Aw, I don't know the last time
164
00:09:57,974 --> 00:10:00,435
I felt hot water that
wasn't my own piss.
165
00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:01,686
Uh, sir.
166
00:10:01,728 --> 00:10:03,229
Consider it your recompense
167
00:10:03,271 --> 00:10:05,356
for upholding law and order.
168
00:10:05,398 --> 00:10:11,112
Warm showers, warm blankets, warm meals.
169
00:10:11,154 --> 00:10:14,240
- Oh.
- Aw, fuck, mashed potatoes?
170
00:10:14,282 --> 00:10:17,160
And goddamn, look at all that gravy!
171
00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:19,954
I wonder how we can get
one of those punch cards.
172
00:10:19,996 --> 00:10:23,458
Now, let's proceed to your initiation.
173
00:10:27,211 --> 00:10:28,588
Right this way, gentlemen.
174
00:10:30,882 --> 00:10:34,010
What you see down there
is our supply truck.
175
00:10:34,052 --> 00:10:35,845
It brings us important provisions.
176
00:10:35,887 --> 00:10:39,015
As you can see, it's broken down.
177
00:10:39,057 --> 00:10:40,933
That's why it's not moving.
178
00:10:40,975 --> 00:10:45,229
What I need for you to do
is to protect that truck.
179
00:10:45,271 --> 00:10:46,647
From what?
180
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:48,524
Seagulls.
181
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,242
- Skittles?
- No, I'm good.
182
00:10:58,284 --> 00:11:01,245
Pre-show jitters.
183
00:11:01,287 --> 00:11:03,956
Listen, I really appreciate
you coming along willingly.
184
00:11:03,998 --> 00:11:07,001
Normally I have to drag people into
the theater kicking and screaming.
185
00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:08,795
But word of advice,
186
00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,255
you won't like what happens if you run.
187
00:11:13,591 --> 00:11:14,717
What? Oh, him?
188
00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:15,968
Nah, he was here before.
189
00:11:16,010 --> 00:11:17,095
Hey, Donald.
190
00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:19,055
Don't worry, he can't hear us.
191
00:11:19,097 --> 00:11:21,391
I love names. I'm kind of a name guy.
192
00:11:21,432 --> 00:11:24,894
You know, the right one can
send a shudder down your spine.
193
00:11:24,936 --> 00:11:26,938
Wanna know what I go by?
194
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:28,773
There's not a person on the West Coast
195
00:11:28,815 --> 00:11:31,442
that hasn't heard of Sweet Tooth.
196
00:11:31,484 --> 00:11:32,610
See what I mean?
197
00:11:32,652 --> 00:11:36,197
I mean, you really
feel that in your bones!
198
00:11:36,239 --> 00:11:38,574
What's your name, friend?
199
00:11:38,616 --> 00:11:40,993
John Doe.
200
00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:42,787
Nah, I'll give it a seven.
201
00:11:42,829 --> 00:11:44,163
Hey, I didn't pick it.
202
00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:49,210
I don't know what name I was
born with or who I am really.
203
00:11:49,252 --> 00:11:51,796
Oh, amnesia. What's your brand?
204
00:11:51,838 --> 00:11:54,757
Post-traumatic, transient, dissociative?
205
00:11:54,799 --> 00:11:57,844
All I know is my first memory
is me waking up in my car
206
00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,345
with blood coming out of my head.
207
00:11:59,387 --> 00:12:00,930
Wait, that's my first memory too!
208
00:12:00,972 --> 00:12:03,182
My head covered in blood.
209
00:12:03,224 --> 00:12:04,350
Of course, it was being pushed
210
00:12:04,392 --> 00:12:05,768
out of my mom's whisker biscuit, but...
211
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:06,936
Whoa! You remember that?
212
00:12:06,978 --> 00:12:10,440
Oh, yeah. I remember everything.
213
00:12:10,481 --> 00:12:12,233
You should consider yourself lucky.
214
00:12:12,275 --> 00:12:14,777
There are some things
I wish I could forget.
215
00:12:14,819 --> 00:12:17,572
Like the time I shit my pants
216
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:20,533
in my elementary school
production of "Oklahoma".
217
00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:26,575
I can still see the audience's
faces laughing, mocking.
218
00:12:29,459 --> 00:12:31,544
Did you know Sisqo's real name was Mark?
219
00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:42,680
Oh, a rock.
220
00:12:45,016 --> 00:12:46,559
Man, what is wrong with you?
221
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:48,644
You holding in a fart or something?
222
00:12:48,686 --> 00:12:51,314
If the truck is so important,
why don't they just move it?
223
00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:53,483
Something doesn't smell right, man.
224
00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:55,651
Smells good to me.
225
00:12:55,693 --> 00:12:57,612
Back in Seattle, they
treated us like morons.
226
00:12:57,653 --> 00:13:00,448
Now look at us; we
holding .30-cals, dude!
227
00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:03,076
Come on, baby, get
your head in the game.
228
00:13:03,117 --> 00:13:05,828
Come on. Come on.
229
00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:07,663
- There you go.
- Fuck you!
230
00:13:07,705 --> 00:13:09,499
Eyes up, boys.
231
00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:13,302
Those seagulls lay a
fingernail on our supplies,
232
00:13:13,644 --> 00:13:15,546
it's open season.
233
00:13:15,588 --> 00:13:16,964
What the hell?
234
00:13:17,006 --> 00:13:19,008
Hey, why do you call 'em seagulls?
235
00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:20,718
These look like normal survivors to me.
236
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,679
What else would you call a
bunch of fucking trash eaters?
237
00:13:33,648 --> 00:13:36,275
Dude, are we really
gonna kill these guys?
238
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,531
There's one left, Stu.
239
00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:43,366
He's all yours.
240
00:13:53,042 --> 00:13:56,421
Clean it up!
241
00:14:06,222 --> 00:14:09,726
Melon down.
242
00:14:09,767 --> 00:14:11,227
I saved your ass.
243
00:14:11,269 --> 00:14:13,896
Seagulls, butchers, exiles.
244
00:14:13,938 --> 00:14:17,233
They see the world in shades of gray.
245
00:14:17,275 --> 00:14:19,902
What I need from you two lawmen
246
00:14:19,944 --> 00:14:21,112
is to just show them
247
00:14:21,154 --> 00:14:23,740
that there's only two
colors in the world,
248
00:14:23,781 --> 00:14:27,326
black and blue.
249
00:14:27,368 --> 00:14:31,289
Now, you missed, Stu.
It can happen to anyone.
250
00:14:31,330 --> 00:14:33,833
Rookie mistake.
251
00:14:33,875 --> 00:14:36,878
Hey, don't let it happen again.
252
00:14:39,630 --> 00:14:41,507
Okay.
253
00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:44,385
You guys want some burgers?
254
00:14:44,427 --> 00:14:46,471
Bubby-baby, bubby-baby.
255
00:14:46,512 --> 00:14:48,181
Tip of the teat, tip of the teat.
256
00:14:48,222 --> 00:14:49,640
Tip of the teat.
257
00:14:49,682 --> 00:14:54,187
My marvelous mutterer
makes me mingy on Monday.
258
00:14:54,228 --> 00:14:56,314
You sleep here?
259
00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:58,107
What, the penthouse was booked up?
260
00:14:58,149 --> 00:15:00,026
Nah, way too much space up there.
261
00:15:00,068 --> 00:15:01,235
Nice bidet, though.
262
00:15:01,277 --> 00:15:03,488
Like taking a shotgun up the ass.
263
00:15:03,529 --> 00:15:05,990
No, I sleep here because it reminds me
264
00:15:06,032 --> 00:15:08,409
of where I was before Vegas.
265
00:15:08,451 --> 00:15:11,370
Back then, I lived with a
real solid group of dudes.
266
00:15:11,412 --> 00:15:15,041
But then the world took a
shit and I came to Sin City.
267
00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:18,503
Now that was a party.
268
00:15:18,544 --> 00:15:21,130
You've been here alone
for over two decades?
269
00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:24,050
Oh, shit, has it been that long?
270
00:15:24,092 --> 00:15:25,301
Look at this guy.
271
00:15:25,343 --> 00:15:27,929
Hasn't aged a day. What a beauty.
272
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:29,305
Nah, I'm not alone.
273
00:15:29,347 --> 00:15:31,307
I got Harold, which, have you...
274
00:15:31,349 --> 00:15:32,975
you haven't met Harold yet.
275
00:15:33,017 --> 00:15:35,812
I'm gonna introduce you.
276
00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:38,439
This is Harold.
277
00:15:38,481 --> 00:15:40,650
Been my best friend since I was a kid.
278
00:15:40,691 --> 00:15:42,944
You know, my entire life
people have been lying to me.
279
00:15:42,985 --> 00:15:45,405
Even my fucking parents!
280
00:15:45,446 --> 00:15:47,448
But, uh, never Harold.
281
00:15:47,490 --> 00:15:50,993
No, he can't lie to me.
He can't lie to anyone.
282
00:15:51,035 --> 00:15:52,578
I can see that.
283
00:15:53,746 --> 00:15:55,665
I don't know what I'd do without him.
284
00:15:55,706 --> 00:15:57,708
Look at that smile.
285
00:15:57,750 --> 00:15:59,419
So, you got a Harold?
286
00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,671
No. I got an Evelyn.
287
00:16:01,713 --> 00:16:03,339
Oh, that's cute.
288
00:16:03,381 --> 00:16:07,510
Before I met her, being
alone was all I knew.
289
00:16:07,552 --> 00:16:10,012
You know, she makes
everything easier, you know?
290
00:16:10,054 --> 00:16:13,683
Sometimes I wish I could
make her laugh. Right?
291
00:16:13,725 --> 00:16:15,351
I have to say after all this time
292
00:16:15,393 --> 00:16:17,937
that's the sound I miss the most.
293
00:16:17,979 --> 00:16:20,189
You know what sound I miss the most?
294
00:16:20,231 --> 00:16:23,192
The sound of hand
meat clapping together.
295
00:16:23,234 --> 00:16:25,611
Nothing like that glorious applause.
296
00:16:25,653 --> 00:16:27,405
I mean, it's almost
better than, I don't know,
297
00:16:27,447 --> 00:16:29,449
hearing somebody choking
on their own blood.
298
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:31,284
But look at me getting carried away.
299
00:16:31,325 --> 00:16:33,578
Good thing that your
Evelyn's got hands, huh?
300
00:16:33,619 --> 00:16:35,538
She must clap for you all the time.
301
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:37,874
Nah, she doesn't. She's my car.
302
00:16:37,915 --> 00:16:39,333
You talk to your car?
303
00:16:39,375 --> 00:16:42,879
That's weird, man.
304
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:47,216
Ah, mwah! There you are.
305
00:16:47,258 --> 00:16:51,304
So, if Evelyn's not the girl, who's she?
306
00:16:54,015 --> 00:16:56,601
I caught this little pest
crawling through my vents.
307
00:16:56,642 --> 00:16:58,478
See, I was gonna starve her.
308
00:16:58,519 --> 00:17:00,480
Watching the life slowly
drain from their eyes.
309
00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:02,857
Kind of my artistic process.
310
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:08,321
You know, the last guy
lasted almost four weeks.
311
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:09,864
Hey, Wilbur!
312
00:17:09,906 --> 00:17:12,200
I think she's gonna give
you a run for you money.
313
00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:13,659
She won't.
314
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:17,413
Bubby-baby, bubby-baby.
315
00:17:17,455 --> 00:17:19,957
Hey, you tried to kill
me every chance you get.
316
00:17:19,999 --> 00:17:21,709
Why should I show you mercy?
317
00:17:25,046 --> 00:17:26,756
Goddamn it!
318
00:17:30,301 --> 00:17:32,929
Hey, man, why don't you let her out?
319
00:17:32,970 --> 00:17:35,431
- And why would I do that?
- No, no, no, listen.
320
00:17:35,473 --> 00:17:37,392
What good is an audience of one?
321
00:17:37,433 --> 00:17:39,143
Think about all the meat slapping
322
00:17:39,185 --> 00:17:42,772
you'll hear with four hands.
323
00:17:42,814 --> 00:17:44,941
Ah, that's true.
324
00:17:44,982 --> 00:17:50,154
I don't often get feedback from
the 18 to 35 female demographic.
325
00:17:50,196 --> 00:17:53,408
Fine!
326
00:17:53,449 --> 00:17:55,618
You fish her out and take a seat.
327
00:17:55,660 --> 00:18:00,206
Don't worry, I got a table just for you.
328
00:18:00,248 --> 00:18:02,375
And what happens after the show?
329
00:18:02,417 --> 00:18:04,919
Well, you go on your merry way.
330
00:18:04,961 --> 00:18:06,546
Really?
331
00:18:06,587 --> 00:18:07,797
Well, if I'm being honest,
332
00:18:07,839 --> 00:18:10,925
nobody has survived all three acts.
333
00:18:10,967 --> 00:18:12,635
Gird your loins!
334
00:18:24,522 --> 00:18:25,522
Tonight, you will be enjoying
335
00:18:26,315 --> 00:18:27,817
white tiger prepared three ways.
336
00:18:27,859 --> 00:18:30,111
There's a whole pack of
those milky white assholes
337
00:18:30,153 --> 00:18:31,988
breeding up on the fourth floor.
338
00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:33,948
Anyway, enjoy.
339
00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:35,575
Bony tit!
340
00:18:39,454 --> 00:18:40,747
Give me back those keys! Hey, hey!
341
00:18:40,788 --> 00:18:41,914
If it wasn't for me,
342
00:18:41,956 --> 00:18:43,916
you would be a starving
corpse right now.
343
00:18:54,469 --> 00:18:57,972
Listen, neither one of us
made it pretty far on our own.
344
00:18:58,014 --> 00:19:02,101
So, instead of us trying to...
holy shit, this steak is good.
345
00:19:02,143 --> 00:19:03,811
Instead of us trying to
stab each other in the back,
346
00:19:03,853 --> 00:19:05,521
we should put our heads
together and figure out
347
00:19:05,563 --> 00:19:07,398
how in the hell we're going
to make it through the show.
348
00:19:09,734 --> 00:19:11,694
Is any of this getting through to you?
349
00:19:16,032 --> 00:19:18,785
Blink twice for yes.
350
00:19:20,369 --> 00:19:22,914
Cool, we're fucked.
351
00:19:30,963 --> 00:19:34,467
Tonight, I will be presenting
a one-man play entitled
352
00:19:34,509 --> 00:19:37,595
"That's In-Room Entertainment",
353
00:19:37,637 --> 00:19:40,348
based on the hotel's
in-room entertainment.
354
00:19:46,521 --> 00:19:49,023
Hi, I'm Debra from guest services.
355
00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:51,359
And welcome to Nevada!
356
00:19:51,401 --> 00:19:55,279
Deep in the heart of
Vegas is the Monte Cristo,
357
00:19:55,321 --> 00:19:57,782
a veritable oasis in the sand.
358
00:20:01,786 --> 00:20:04,497
And don't forget about our promenade.
359
00:20:04,539 --> 00:20:06,541
It features all the latest brands
360
00:20:06,582 --> 00:20:09,836
and is just a stone's
throw from the salon.
361
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:13,047
Girl, might be time to take
care of those split ends!
362
00:20:19,220 --> 00:20:21,597
And for all you lovebirds out there,
363
00:20:21,639 --> 00:20:26,352
Las Vegas is still the
marriage capital of the world.
364
00:20:26,394 --> 00:20:28,771
Time for kisses!
365
00:20:30,898 --> 00:20:36,779
And you have selected express checkout.
366
00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:42,744
Please leave your key at the
drop box at the front desk.
367
00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:46,080
And thank you for staying with us.
368
00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:57,383
Well, we've come to the Q&A
369
00:20:57,425 --> 00:21:00,386
where I ask the Q's or I kick your A.
370
00:21:00,428 --> 00:21:03,347
So, now is the moment of truth.
371
00:21:03,389 --> 00:21:05,099
What do you think?
372
00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:12,899
Oh, um, I loved it.
373
00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:15,359
Liar!
374
00:21:15,401 --> 00:21:17,945
What exactly did you love about it?
375
00:21:17,987 --> 00:21:19,697
Uh, your performance! I was moved!
376
00:21:23,534 --> 00:21:25,995
What? It was a tour de force!
377
00:21:26,037 --> 00:21:29,415
I am gonna tour de force
this machete down your throat!
378
00:21:29,457 --> 00:21:31,626
If you're not gonna tell the truth,
379
00:21:31,667 --> 00:21:34,295
then I'm gonna make
you shut up and bleed.
380
00:21:34,337 --> 00:21:37,090
It was a fucking snooze-fest.
381
00:21:37,131 --> 00:21:39,133
Now you talk?
382
00:21:39,175 --> 00:21:40,176
What the hell did you say?
383
00:21:40,218 --> 00:21:42,303
It sucked.
384
00:21:42,345 --> 00:21:43,971
Your performance was dull as dick water
385
00:21:44,013 --> 00:21:46,474
and frankly beneath you.
386
00:21:46,516 --> 00:21:48,267
And you?
387
00:21:48,309 --> 00:21:50,019
You agree with her?
388
00:21:56,818 --> 00:21:59,695
Yes. I agree with her.
389
00:22:02,448 --> 00:22:03,991
Come on, man, it was boring.
390
00:22:04,033 --> 00:22:05,033
I get it, you've been here forever,
391
00:22:05,034 --> 00:22:06,828
but you did a play about a hotel!
392
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,459
But didn't Mark Twain say you
should write what you know?
393
00:22:13,501 --> 00:22:14,752
Well, Mark Twain's a dumbass.
394
00:22:14,794 --> 00:22:16,129
You gotta get out in the world, man.
395
00:22:16,170 --> 00:22:17,547
Yeah. Look, trust me,
396
00:22:17,588 --> 00:22:20,425
you don't want to spend
the rest of your life alone.
397
00:22:20,466 --> 00:22:23,636
- You end up talking to a car.
- Yeah, like this guy.
398
00:22:23,678 --> 00:22:25,304
You know what? You're right.
399
00:22:25,346 --> 00:22:27,056
I can't wait here for my audience.
400
00:22:27,098 --> 00:22:30,935
I need to get out there
and hunt my audience down.
401
00:22:30,977 --> 00:22:32,019
Oh, no, no, that's not what I meant.
402
00:22:32,061 --> 00:22:33,980
No, that's exactly what you meant.
403
00:22:34,021 --> 00:22:36,983
I'm gonna get out there, and
I'm gonna embrace the chaos.
404
00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:41,446
Who knows, maybe I'll even fall in love!
405
00:22:41,487 --> 00:22:44,073
The show is going on the road!
406
00:22:53,875 --> 00:22:56,127
That was beautiful, man!
407
00:23:17,565 --> 00:23:19,859
Well, a night of firsts.
408
00:23:19,901 --> 00:23:21,110
My first honest critique,
409
00:23:21,152 --> 00:23:23,821
first people I ever
let leave here alive,
410
00:23:23,863 --> 00:23:27,867
but most importantly, my first two fans.
411
00:23:27,909 --> 00:23:29,619
You two.
412
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,954
I got you a headshot.
413
00:23:31,996 --> 00:23:33,831
There's an inscription in that.
414
00:23:33,873 --> 00:23:36,709
- "See you soon."
- I hope not.
415
00:23:36,751 --> 00:23:39,295
Hey, thanks for being honest.
416
00:24:52,285 --> 00:24:53,619
You know, I have to admit I didn't think
417
00:24:53,661 --> 00:24:56,497
we were gonna make
it out of there alive.
418
00:24:56,539 --> 00:24:57,832
I mean, it would have been a lot easier
419
00:24:57,874 --> 00:24:59,500
if you had piped up
instead of just trying to...
420
00:24:59,542 --> 00:25:01,085
oh, come on! Have you learned nothing?
421
00:25:04,839 --> 00:25:06,340
What is your problem anyway?
422
00:25:06,382 --> 00:25:07,467
I'm trying to find someone.
423
00:25:07,468 --> 00:25:08,468
Well, I'm trying to get somewhere,
424
00:25:08,468 --> 00:25:11,179
and I lost a hell of a lot of
time watching that God-awful play.
425
00:25:13,222 --> 00:25:15,391
If you put the gun
down, I'll drop you off
426
00:25:15,433 --> 00:25:17,643
as close as I can to
where you're going. Deal?
427
00:25:17,685 --> 00:25:20,021
Fine. But I'm keeping the gun.
428
00:25:20,063 --> 00:25:22,398
- No, come on, that one's new.
- All right, all right, take it.
429
00:25:27,904 --> 00:25:29,739
What's your name anyway?
430
00:25:32,575 --> 00:25:34,327
Okay, I'll start. Hi, I'm John.
431
00:25:34,368 --> 00:25:36,496
You're... ?
432
00:25:36,537 --> 00:25:38,581
Bridget?
433
00:25:38,623 --> 00:25:40,083
Yolanda? Jennifer?
434
00:25:41,751 --> 00:25:43,795
Okay. So, since you like to be quiet,
435
00:25:43,836 --> 00:25:45,505
that's what I'm gonna call you: Quiet.
436
00:25:45,546 --> 00:25:48,174
- Is that okay, Quiet?
- Yep.
437
00:25:48,216 --> 00:25:50,009
So, you're really not
gonna tell me your name?
438
00:25:50,051 --> 00:25:51,719
Nope.
439
00:25:52,678 --> 00:25:54,347
Fine.
440
00:25:54,389 --> 00:25:55,932
Makes it easier when I drop your ass off
441
00:25:55,973 --> 00:25:58,476
in the middle of nowhere, Quiet.
442
00:26:05,108 --> 00:26:06,526
Sack up, newbs.
443
00:26:06,567 --> 00:26:09,237
Got a live one.
444
00:26:09,278 --> 00:26:11,030
I'll stop the vehicle
445
00:26:11,072 --> 00:26:13,116
and demand to see
their open road license.
446
00:26:13,157 --> 00:26:15,118
If they don't got it, they don't pass.
447
00:26:19,455 --> 00:26:20,455
What?
448
00:26:20,456 --> 00:26:22,542
Hey, sorry, just one question.
449
00:26:22,583 --> 00:26:24,919
Where do we bring 'em?
450
00:26:24,961 --> 00:26:28,798
Oh, and why are we stopping them?
451
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:31,551
And what's an open road license?
452
00:26:31,592 --> 00:26:33,886
- Is it common at the...
- Just get in.
453
00:26:33,928 --> 00:26:36,097
We learn on the job. I respect that.
454
00:26:36,931 --> 00:26:37,932
I've never seen a checkpoint
455
00:26:37,974 --> 00:26:39,934
that wasn't outside of a settlement.
456
00:26:39,976 --> 00:26:41,144
And these guys aren't on the map.
457
00:26:41,185 --> 00:26:43,938
So, more delays.
458
00:26:43,980 --> 00:26:45,022
Let me do all the talking.
459
00:26:45,064 --> 00:26:46,399
I deal with these guys all the time.
460
00:26:46,441 --> 00:26:49,235
I speak their lingo.
461
00:26:49,277 --> 00:26:52,029
Hey, ORL, please.
462
00:26:52,071 --> 00:26:54,449
Did you just ask me for oral?
463
00:26:54,490 --> 00:26:58,286
Uh, no, sir. ORL.
464
00:26:58,327 --> 00:26:59,954
Open road license.
465
00:26:59,996 --> 00:27:02,582
That's an awful acronym.
466
00:27:02,623 --> 00:27:04,584
Hey, look, I'm just a milkman.
467
00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:07,211
I'm just passing through, man. Come on.
468
00:27:07,253 --> 00:27:08,838
And you guys look great, by the way.
469
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,173
I love your shirts, man.
470
00:27:10,214 --> 00:27:12,008
What are you, like a club
or a team or something?
471
00:27:12,050 --> 00:27:14,761
We're officers. Of the law.
472
00:27:14,802 --> 00:27:17,305
Ah, angry black friend. Okay.
473
00:27:26,731 --> 00:27:29,108
Hey, where... Get back in the car!
474
00:27:29,150 --> 00:27:30,485
Listen to your friend!
475
00:27:30,526 --> 00:27:31,861
Eat my ass, motherfucker!
476
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:50,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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