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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,020 --> 00:00:05,579 Now, nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate is the Garden of Eden. 2 00:00:05,580 --> 00:00:09,019 But it's been a good home to us, to me, Frank Gallagher, 3 00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:11,339 and me kids, who I'm proud of. 4 00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:15,339 Cos every single one of them reminds me a little of me. 5 00:00:15,780 --> 00:00:19,779 They can all think for themselves, which they've got me to thank for. 6 00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:21,499 Quick, leg it! 7 00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,899 Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is why 8 00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:26,539 nobody calls him Philip anymore. 9 00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:29,219 Ian, a lot like his mam, which is handy, 10 00:00:29,220 --> 00:00:31,419 cos she's disappeared into thin air. 11 00:00:31,420 --> 00:00:35,419 And Carl. We daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons. 12 00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:39,619 One, it stands on end and makes him look like Toyah. Two, nits love it. 13 00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:44,659 Debbie, sent by God, total angel. You have to check your change 14 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:48,739 but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favour. 15 00:00:49,700 --> 00:00:52,059 Plus lickle Liam. He's going to be a star some day. 16 00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:53,499 Wicked! 17 00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:55,739 Sheila, me bird. Couldn't be happier. 18 00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:59,059 One plate short of a full set, like. 19 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,659 Carol and Marty, the lodgers from hell. 20 00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:05,019 Last of the lonely hearts and a psychologist's wet dream. 21 00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:07,259 Still, nobody's perfect. 22 00:01:07,260 --> 00:01:10,179 But all of them to a man know first and foremost 23 00:01:10,180 --> 00:01:13,299 one of the most vital necessities in life. 24 00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:17,299 They know how to throw a party! Scatter! 25 00:01:17,380 --> 00:01:19,899 www.addic7ed.com 26 00:01:19,900 --> 00:01:23,579 'Some days, you're on to a loser before you've had your first fart. 27 00:01:23,580 --> 00:01:27,579 'Others, the gods are smiling and there's nothing you can't sort out. 28 00:01:27,660 --> 00:01:31,659 'I mean, yeah, there's the Es in the cornflakes might help a bit 29 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:34,259 'but why shouldn't people rub along together? 30 00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:36,659 'Doesn't have to be a drama, does it?' 31 00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:38,979 Sorry, just finishing off. 32 00:01:38,980 --> 00:01:41,379 'I mean, look at Diana, Charles and Camilla. 33 00:01:41,380 --> 00:01:45,379 'It worked out OK for them, didn't it?' 34 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,419 Come here, you. 35 00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:53,419 Come here. Give us a kiss. 36 00:02:02,420 --> 00:02:05,139 All right, Frank? You miss me? 37 00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:07,219 Couldn't find the child benefit book. 38 00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:08,739 Shall we go to the pub? 39 00:02:08,740 --> 00:02:11,019 Yeah? All right. 40 00:02:11,020 --> 00:02:15,019 Come on, come on. 41 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:39,739 They're all so grown up now. 42 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,659 Hardly recognised 'em. 43 00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:45,539 Yeah, well, it's been hard for me. 44 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:49,059 Responsibility for all of them on my own. 45 00:02:49,060 --> 00:02:50,419 It's kind of weighed heavily. 46 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,419 Yeah, but I'm back now, Frank. 47 00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:56,419 To lighten your load. 48 00:02:58,140 --> 00:03:01,539 Monica! 49 00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:05,539 Sheila. 50 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:27,539 (SCREAMS) 51 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,579 (SCREAMS) 52 00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:33,059 You all right, Sheila? You remember Monica, don't you? 53 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:37,059 She's come...you know, she's come to see the kids. 54 00:03:37,940 --> 00:03:41,939 Yes. You told me, Frank. 55 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,939 Brought your cigarettes. Would you like a drink? 56 00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:48,139 Yeah, another vodka tonic, thanks. 57 00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:50,379 Oh, yeah, right, course I did. 58 00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:53,539 Cos you asked me that about when she...and I said... 59 00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:55,539 Yeah, of course, yeah. 60 00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:58,339 That'll be two vodka tonics, please. 61 00:03:58,340 --> 00:04:00,859 Fancy that. Same poison. 62 00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:04,859 And I'll just have a couple of Es, Jess. 63 00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:12,019 Do any of yous lot know how this works? 64 00:04:12,020 --> 00:04:13,779 That's disgusting. 65 00:04:13,780 --> 00:04:14,859 What is it? 66 00:04:14,860 --> 00:04:17,859 It's a balloon pump. 67 00:04:17,860 --> 00:04:21,219 Sorry, have we not met? I'm your neighbour. 68 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:25,219 I want some help blowing these up. It isn't a fucking request. 69 00:04:28,820 --> 00:04:31,219 You wouldn't be our neighbour, 70 00:04:31,220 --> 00:04:33,459 if you hadn't stolen my daughter's house. 71 00:04:33,460 --> 00:04:35,979 Like you give a shit. Nearly pulled a muscle 72 00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:38,059 scavenging gear for your own back. 73 00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,259 I'm keeping it for her. 74 00:04:40,260 --> 00:04:42,379 Oh, yeah, and I'm the Queen of Sheba. 75 00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:45,819 You two better get a rocket up your arse. Got to be there for one. 76 00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:47,299 I didn't know I was coming. 77 00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:49,139 You're family, aren't you? > 78 00:04:49,140 --> 00:04:51,739 Even if you do think you're better than us. > 79 00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:54,179 Our Jamie'll soon sort you out. 80 00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:55,419 (MOUTHS) 81 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:59,419 Spliff. 82 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:11,539 Oi, fuck off, you little wankers! 83 00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:26,179 What are you looking at, you perv? 84 00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:41,979 Sign there, love. 85 00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:43,539 Ta. See you in a couple of days. 86 00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:47,539 Yeah. 87 00:05:52,140 --> 00:05:54,179 I need to go! 88 00:05:54,180 --> 00:05:55,379 It's not my problem, Norma. 89 00:05:55,380 --> 00:05:58,339 You can't do this! There's such a thing as human rights. 90 00:05:58,340 --> 00:06:01,139 I'm entitled to a toilet. Where's Mon? She'll let us. 91 00:06:01,140 --> 00:06:02,139 Gone out. 92 00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:05,979 Which is exactly what you should be doing, Norma. Going home. 93 00:06:05,980 --> 00:06:09,019 Unless you want to pay rent for sleeping in the Dormobile. 94 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:13,019 Where's she gone? She's never up before 11. 95 00:06:13,140 --> 00:06:17,139 Look, Debbie, I'm gonna piss myself. 96 00:06:21,140 --> 00:06:23,299 Look at you. 97 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,979 Makes a mother so proud. 98 00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:29,019 You look like a stiff in a body bag. 99 00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:32,659 Straighten your face or our Jamie will put you in a fucking body bag! 100 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:36,139 Pack it in, you two. Micky, reminds me of your first communion. 101 00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:39,019 Right, when he comes out, don't overcrowd him, OK? 102 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:41,739 What did you make us all fucking come for, then?! 103 00:06:41,740 --> 00:06:44,179 Oi, watch your mouth, fucking gobshite! 104 00:06:44,180 --> 00:06:47,859 So he knows we appreciate him. And what he's done for us. 105 00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:50,019 And how much we love him. 106 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,779 Where is he, then? I haven't fed my snake yet. 107 00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:52,579 Jesus! 108 00:06:52,580 --> 00:06:56,579 Can't we just ask somebody? 109 00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:02,779 So, you just left her, then. 110 00:07:02,780 --> 00:07:06,779 Look, I won't say I was wrong to leave my kids but I had my reasons. 111 00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:12,499 But I'm back now and Norma isn't part of that, end of story. 112 00:07:14,460 --> 00:07:16,059 How's she taking it? 113 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:20,059 You have to learn to accept change, don't you, whenever it comes. 114 00:07:20,540 --> 00:07:22,659 Right. 115 00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:25,099 It's your round, Monica, isn't it? 116 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:29,099 What am I like? Same again? 117 00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,259 It's bound to happen, innit? 118 00:07:43,260 --> 00:07:47,259 Norma's not exactly...is she? 119 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:54,899 Can't...say I blame her. 120 00:07:56,060 --> 00:07:58,299 It's good, 121 00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:00,819 you know, for the kids though. 122 00:08:00,820 --> 00:08:04,819 Got their mother back. 123 00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:11,139 So when...did I tell you? 124 00:08:12,620 --> 00:08:13,899 You tell me, Frank. 125 00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:15,219 What? 126 00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:16,899 You must have told me some time, 127 00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:18,459 mustn't you, cos why would you have not? 128 00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:20,699 Yeah, right. 129 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:21,979 Well, yeah. 130 00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:25,659 I was just saying to Frank, it'll be so lovely to have you back. 131 00:08:25,660 --> 00:08:27,459 Another pair of hands around. 132 00:08:27,460 --> 00:08:29,979 Oh, that's a lovely ring, Sheila. Is it QVC? 133 00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:33,299 Yeah, well, should probably go, Sheila. 134 00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,539 Got stuff to do, food shopping. 135 00:08:35,540 --> 00:08:38,139 No thanks. I'd rather stay here for another drink. Wouldn't you, Monica? 136 00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:41,179 Oh, yes, I'm very happy. 137 00:08:41,180 --> 00:08:42,979 Right. 138 00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:45,259 Must say, you have cleaned up his act 139 00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:48,899 if he's willing to leave the pub before closing time. 140 00:08:48,900 --> 00:08:50,499 Different man, aren't you, Frank? 141 00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:54,339 Mm. 142 00:08:54,340 --> 00:08:56,699 Mmm. 143 00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,659 Oh, another one down. 144 00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:02,339 I do admire your restraint, Sheila. 145 00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:06,339 Right. 146 00:09:06,620 --> 00:09:08,019 You let him out, you bastards! 147 00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:09,099 You tell 'em, Ma. 148 00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:12,139 You let my Jamie out or I'll have the lot of yous! 149 00:09:12,140 --> 00:09:15,019 They let him out two hours ago. 150 00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:15,699 For fuck's sake! 151 00:09:15,700 --> 00:09:18,219 This is your fault, Shane. 152 00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:22,219 You fucking wanker. 153 00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:35,859 (TEARFULLY) All I'm saying is, 154 00:09:35,860 --> 00:09:39,859 a home-made mayonnaise can make up egg or prawn. 155 00:09:42,900 --> 00:09:44,779 All it takes is 156 00:09:44,780 --> 00:09:47,139 eight minutes' patience 157 00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:50,179 but no-one tries any more. 158 00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:51,619 They just don't. 159 00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:52,859 GLASS SMASHES 160 00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:53,779 Mum, maybe we should... 161 00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:57,779 Good timing. Another round ready. 162 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,899 4.80. 163 00:10:01,900 --> 00:10:04,459 Knocking 'em back, aren't you? 164 00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:06,779 Just getting to know Sheila. 165 00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:10,499 Keep the change. 166 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,539 It's wrong, 167 00:10:12,540 --> 00:10:14,219 it's so wrong! 168 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:22,659 (SOBBING OBSCURES SPEECH) 169 00:10:23,060 --> 00:10:27,059 Thank you. Thank you so much. 170 00:10:28,780 --> 00:10:32,779 Right. Erm, just...slash... 171 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:35,979 Pastries... 172 00:10:35,980 --> 00:10:39,979 ..Try getting a job, yeah? Oh, look who it isn't. 173 00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:46,219 Get a good look, did you, earlier? Pervert. 174 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:48,659 I know who he is, Karen. He's... 175 00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:49,739 He's who? 176 00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,819 Jamie, I told you it was him! 177 00:10:51,820 --> 00:10:55,219 We came to get you, why didn't you phone? 178 00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:59,219 You've come back, my angel, you've come back to us! 179 00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:01,619 It's Jamie Maguire. 180 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,459 He did ten for murder. 181 00:11:03,460 --> 00:11:07,379 So? He's still a perv. He is! 182 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:11,379 Come on, let's get you home. Party, party, party, eh. > 183 00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:16,019 You come too. Come on. 184 00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:25,899 I remember him. 185 00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:26,939 Monica! 186 00:11:26,940 --> 00:11:29,539 Monica! Don't be daft, Frank. I've seen it all before. 187 00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:30,859 Yeah, but that was... 188 00:11:30,860 --> 00:11:33,179 Come on, it's just a bit of fun. 189 00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:34,739 She's nice, your wife, 190 00:11:34,740 --> 00:11:37,579 but I bet you're not as good together as you and me were. 191 00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:38,699 Don't start, don't start. 192 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:42,699 Do you still want me? Oh, yes, you do. 193 00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:46,659 Come on, come with Monica. Just for a minute. Just in here. 194 00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:50,659 Yeah, come on, you dirty bastard. 195 00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,019 You know you want to. 196 00:11:53,020 --> 00:11:57,019 What's the matter? Getting something at home that I can't give you? 197 00:11:58,180 --> 00:12:00,659 Whoah! Sorry. 198 00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:02,539 It's the gents, this, love. 199 00:12:02,540 --> 00:12:06,419 You know, that's why it says it on the door. All right, Billy. 200 00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:08,379 It's what little man's all about. 201 00:12:08,380 --> 00:12:10,859 Gents pee standing up, don't they? 202 00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:14,859 Fucking women, hey, Billy, can't fucking shoot them! 203 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,059 Oh, dear, what's happened here? 204 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:27,059 Come on. Come on, Sheila, let's get... 205 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:30,699 Get you home. I've got you. It's all right. Don't fetch up here. 206 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:33,899 All right, got you. 207 00:12:33,900 --> 00:12:36,819 Yeah. See you later. 208 00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:40,059 See you later. 209 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,779 What won the three o'clock at Haydock? You know? 210 00:12:42,780 --> 00:12:45,219 Ambleton, mate, you've lost your money. 211 00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:47,859 LAUGHTER 212 00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:51,859 Welcome home, son. Cheers! 213 00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:54,779 It's grand to have you back. 214 00:12:54,780 --> 00:12:57,299 Soon clean up this place, show them who's boss. 215 00:12:57,300 --> 00:12:59,179 Jamie Maguire back on the manor! 216 00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:00,019 BANG 217 00:13:00,020 --> 00:13:03,419 Shane, stop that, you little shite! Your mother went to a lot of trouble. 218 00:13:03,420 --> 00:13:05,299 So, are you gonna tell him then or what? 219 00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:06,379 Tell me what? 220 00:13:06,380 --> 00:13:08,579 We've got you a little job, help you get back on your feet. 221 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:09,659 Set you up, like. 222 00:13:09,660 --> 00:13:10,979 But I'm in it as well, aren't I? 223 00:13:10,980 --> 00:13:12,179 All right, Shane. 224 00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:14,619 It's a kidnapping. Total no-brainer. 225 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:18,619 Look, if it's Shane's job, let him do it. I'm not interested. 226 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:32,419 Frank? 227 00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:35,019 I want to go on top. 228 00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:39,019 Oh, Monica, no. 229 00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:19,979 Oh! Hello, Norma. 230 00:14:19,980 --> 00:14:23,979 All right? 231 00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:26,419 This has got Vitamin C in it. 232 00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:30,419 It's very good for you. 233 00:14:30,460 --> 00:14:34,459 Bitch. 234 00:14:35,140 --> 00:14:39,139 You don't need to do it for him. 235 00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:52,419 Come on. Be quiet. She might hear. 236 00:14:53,940 --> 00:14:57,939 Cat litter! As in, litter for cats. 237 00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:04,059 Is everyone around here retarded? 238 00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:06,219 I need the fucking toilet! 239 00:15:06,220 --> 00:15:08,779 Norma, hello. 240 00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:10,059 You could use ours. 241 00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:12,779 Thank fuck. Somebody normal. 242 00:15:12,780 --> 00:15:14,619 You'll have to take your shoes off. 243 00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:17,739 Please don't touch the walls, because I've cleaned. 244 00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:21,739 OK. Let's go. 245 00:15:29,340 --> 00:15:30,899 Ah, see - I didn't need you. 246 00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:32,459 What the fuck is that?! 247 00:15:32,460 --> 00:15:34,699 A Royal Heffernan. 248 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,379 9/4 favourite, Saturday. 249 00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:37,939 Dead fucking cert. 250 00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:39,699 Owner's got a mint riding on it. 251 00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:42,299 They'll soon cough up theransom to get him back. 252 00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:46,219 And because you didn't pitch in, now you don't see any of the winnings. 253 00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:47,739 I've got my own plans. 254 00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:50,219 Course you have. Chip off the old block, eh? 255 00:15:50,220 --> 00:15:52,979 I'm gonna run him in someother races while I've got him. 256 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:54,179 Make even more cash. 257 00:15:54,180 --> 00:15:55,939 No-one will even recognise him. 258 00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:57,379 Really?! 259 00:15:57,380 --> 00:15:58,619 Yep. 260 00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:02,619 Kidnapped the jockey as well have you? 261 00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:06,859 Ah! 262 00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:10,099 It's like she's some fucking changeling or something. 263 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:14,099 One minute it's all, "I'll have yourstir-fry on the table when you get back from Stuttgart," 264 00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:16,459 and the next - dust. 265 00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:20,459 She wouldn't even talk to us, the mad bitch. Oh, but I love her. 266 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:25,099 So... What do you think happened, then? 267 00:16:25,140 --> 00:16:27,499 Well, it's obvious, isn't it? 268 00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,819 Richard and bastard Judy. 269 00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:31,939 I told her not to watch that crap! 270 00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:35,219 Some Christian wanker banging on about family. 271 00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:38,019 We're the victims.Me and her. 272 00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:42,019 Fucking patriarchal, hegemony pissing all over us. 273 00:16:42,620 --> 00:16:45,859 So you don't think she's back for them, then? 274 00:16:45,860 --> 00:16:49,859 Shelia, she had somepast life regression last solstice. 275 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,459 Came back saying thekids weren't even hers. 276 00:16:52,460 --> 00:16:55,099 Belong to somefucking witch in the 14th century. 277 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,699 But she stood on a lay line and 278 00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:59,939 sent the kids to the wrong womb. Course she's not back for them. 279 00:16:59,940 --> 00:17:01,739 But she's still a lesbian though? 280 00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:04,019 But she's still a lesbian though? Yeah, course she is, you daft bitch. 281 00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:06,779 (FARTS) We may not have had sex in the past eight months 282 00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:09,459 but youdon't go back and forward, do ya? 283 00:17:09,460 --> 00:17:10,979 No sex? 284 00:17:10,980 --> 00:17:13,899 Hang on a minute. Ican't do two things at once in here. 285 00:17:13,900 --> 00:17:17,619 SQUELCHING 286 00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:20,859 Hey, Sheila? You got any more bog roll? 287 00:17:20,860 --> 00:17:24,859 Sheila?! 288 00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:32,179 Aargh!Pervert! 289 00:17:33,900 --> 00:17:37,059 Who is it, then? Peters and Lee? 290 00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:40,139 It is Kevin and Veronica. 291 00:17:40,140 --> 00:17:43,699 I was going to say, I didn't know they put Peters and Lee in prison. 292 00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:47,699 Mind you... Welcome Home weren't much of a song, was it? 293 00:17:47,780 --> 00:17:49,539 Rainy days and Mondays was better. 294 00:17:49,540 --> 00:17:51,179 That weren't Peters and Lee. 295 00:17:51,180 --> 00:17:55,179 Do you mind? My daughter has been incarcerated. 296 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,899 Do you mind? My daughter has been incarcerated. She's not exactly Nelson fucking Mandela, Carol. Thank you. 297 00:17:58,900 --> 00:18:00,499 She was trying to steal a baby. 298 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:02,179 She was paying for it. 299 00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:05,019 What, with the money she'd stolen from everyone around here? 300 00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:07,219 I can't see you getting many fucking takers. 301 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:10,859 I'm only doing what any mother would do. 302 00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,379 I've got to do something. 303 00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:17,059 Even if it's just widow's mites. 304 00:18:17,060 --> 00:18:21,059 I'll have a T-shirt, Carol. 305 00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:27,339 Out of my pension. 306 00:18:27,980 --> 00:18:30,699 I just thought, now that we're friends 307 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:33,139 we could go shopping together. 308 00:18:33,140 --> 00:18:35,619 Sorry, Sheil. I'm too busy here. 309 00:18:35,620 --> 00:18:38,779 I could babysit the twins for you at yours if you like. 310 00:18:38,780 --> 00:18:41,539 No, I need to get some new stuff. 311 00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:43,139 I thought... 312 00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:44,779 Since we like the same drink, 313 00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:46,899 maybe we have the same taste in clothes. 314 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,259 I mean, 315 00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:51,579 you could give me a second opinion. 316 00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:54,579 We could have a nice girly day out. 317 00:18:54,580 --> 00:18:58,579 I could do the washing up, Mum. 318 00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:09,939 See this? Ned Kelly, proper Irish hero. 319 00:19:10,220 --> 00:19:13,219 Morning, can I help youse officers? 320 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,539 We were just... 321 00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:16,419 We were just... A racehorse has been stolen. 322 00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:17,819 We want to know ifyou've seen anything. 323 00:19:17,820 --> 00:19:21,659 We want to know ifyou've seen anything. No. Haven't seen anything. 324 00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,899 Jamie... Have you met Jamie, my eldest? 325 00:19:23,900 --> 00:19:25,659 Have you seen anything? 326 00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:27,859 Not so as I recall. 327 00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:29,579 Shane, have you seen a racehorse around these parts? 328 00:19:29,580 --> 00:19:32,099 I ain't seen shit. 329 00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:34,619 Sorry, can't help you. 330 00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:38,419 If we do, we'll let you know. 331 00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:42,419 Right. Obliged. Nice to meet you. 332 00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:49,179 What are you doing? 333 00:19:49,180 --> 00:19:53,179 Different horse. Hasn't got white socks. 334 00:20:00,020 --> 00:20:01,739 Yeah, I just need to know... 335 00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:03,419 There's a queuing system. 336 00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:07,419 So get yourself a ticket, take a seat, yeah? 337 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,899 You're Jamie Maguire, aren't you? 338 00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:18,979 Who did you kill? 339 00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:20,059 Fuck off, will you? 340 00:20:20,060 --> 00:20:21,779 I've killed a man. 341 00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:23,859 No, you haven't. 342 00:20:23,860 --> 00:20:27,859 I have. I shot him. And his head fell off. 343 00:20:28,420 --> 00:20:30,259 Good for you. 344 00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:32,979 Come to have a pop at me, have you? 345 00:20:32,980 --> 00:20:36,899 Come to proveyourself to the hard man. 346 00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:39,779 Come on then, if you want some. 347 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:43,779 Do you want some? 348 00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:56,739 You all right? 349 00:20:56,740 --> 00:20:58,419 Yes, what can I get you? 350 00:20:58,420 --> 00:21:02,419 Pint of lager and any chance of a job going? 351 00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:04,579 Er...Job? 352 00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:06,299 Job?That's right. 353 00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:07,419 Here? 354 00:21:07,420 --> 00:21:08,659 This is your pub, isn't it? 355 00:21:08,660 --> 00:21:12,459 Right and how much will you want paying for that? 356 00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:15,059 Whatever the going rate is. 357 00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:16,499 I dunno. 358 00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:20,499 Make me an offer, then. 359 00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:25,459 What do you pay for a protection racket? 360 00:21:25,460 --> 00:21:28,379 How the fuck should I know? 361 00:21:28,380 --> 00:21:30,579 How about 80? 362 00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:33,699 A week? 363 00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:34,779 A day. 364 00:21:34,780 --> 00:21:38,219 80 a day? All right. 365 00:21:38,220 --> 00:21:39,499 Is there a room with the job? 366 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:43,499 Is there a room with the job? Room?! Yeah. 367 00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:49,899 What you doing? That's my room. 368 00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:51,059 Yeah, but you're fired. 369 00:21:51,060 --> 00:21:52,619 Yeah, but you're fired. What? 370 00:21:52,620 --> 00:21:55,219 All right, I shagged the delivery guy. 371 00:21:55,220 --> 00:21:59,219 It's not that - it's him. 372 00:22:00,180 --> 00:22:01,499 Next! 373 00:22:01,500 --> 00:22:05,499 BEEPING 374 00:22:06,940 --> 00:22:08,899 Oh, Christ. 375 00:22:08,900 --> 00:22:11,139 Right, so... 376 00:22:11,140 --> 00:22:14,379 All I need, see, is a divorce. 377 00:22:14,380 --> 00:22:17,499 I was hoping you could 378 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:21,499 tell me which way you do it, ifyou don't want her to know. 379 00:22:22,260 --> 00:22:24,139 "Her" being? 380 00:22:24,140 --> 00:22:25,619 The wife. 381 00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:27,139 My ex-wife. 382 00:22:27,140 --> 00:22:30,779 Soon to be. 383 00:22:30,780 --> 00:22:32,019 Next! 384 00:22:32,020 --> 00:22:34,019 BEEPING 385 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:37,059 It's difficult, isn't it, as you get older? 386 00:22:37,060 --> 00:22:40,779 You don't know what to wear. You want to look sexy, 387 00:22:40,780 --> 00:22:44,779 but not looking like you charge a fiver for a hand job. 388 00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:49,859 Or is it the same for, you know, lesbians? 389 00:22:49,860 --> 00:22:53,859 I mean, what age do you stop wearing cargo pants, or don't you? 390 00:22:55,260 --> 00:22:59,259 I don't know. I never have. I prefer something more feminine. 391 00:22:59,740 --> 00:23:01,939 Oh, like these. 392 00:23:01,940 --> 00:23:05,939 Look. You can never have enough lingerie, can you? 393 00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:09,819 It's like what they say - you can never be too rich or too thin. 394 00:23:09,820 --> 00:23:12,139 Except for that Posh Spice, she is, isn't she? 395 00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:14,499 And she's dipped in wood stain. 396 00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:16,019 Looks lovely on you. 397 00:23:16,020 --> 00:23:20,019 Let's try some on! 398 00:23:20,660 --> 00:23:24,659 So, Monica, what kind of women do you like? 399 00:23:25,380 --> 00:23:28,059 Oh, no. 400 00:23:28,060 --> 00:23:29,659 Let's sit out here, shall we? 401 00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:31,379 The small ones are a bit claustrophobic. 402 00:23:31,380 --> 00:23:33,179 The small ones are a bit claustrophobic. I thought you were agoraphobic. 403 00:23:33,180 --> 00:23:35,979 Agoraphobic/claustrophobic. 404 00:23:35,980 --> 00:23:37,619 Anything you like, really. 405 00:23:37,620 --> 00:23:41,619 Illness poker, me. Raise me one, if you like. 406 00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:49,339 What are you doing, Sheila? 407 00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:53,339 Do you want me to help you, Monica? I know you want me to help you. 408 00:23:53,540 --> 00:23:55,739 I've got very big breasts. 409 00:23:55,740 --> 00:23:57,779 It's every woman's fantasy. 410 00:23:57,780 --> 00:24:01,779 Lesbianism. I know it's mine. We're all bisexual, aren't we? 411 00:24:02,060 --> 00:24:03,859 Are you bisexual, Monica? 412 00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:07,859 Or are you just gay? Aargh! 413 00:24:09,300 --> 00:24:11,939 It'snotmysexuality that's in question. 414 00:24:11,940 --> 00:24:13,499 Did Frank put you up to this? 415 00:24:13,500 --> 00:24:17,499 I just want to know if you want to - if that's why you've come back? 416 00:24:17,980 --> 00:24:19,179 Get off! 417 00:24:19,180 --> 00:24:23,179 Monica! Aargh! 418 00:24:24,740 --> 00:24:28,739 Good God! They're on drugs. 419 00:24:30,460 --> 00:24:32,379 Get off! 420 00:24:32,380 --> 00:24:33,379 Get off! That's enough! 421 00:24:41,860 --> 00:24:45,859 If you want the horse back alive get 20,000 ready in used notes. 422 00:24:46,260 --> 00:24:47,259 'Who is this?' 423 00:24:47,260 --> 00:24:49,659 Fuckin' knifeman, that's who! 424 00:24:49,660 --> 00:24:51,419 Can you hear that?! 425 00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:52,499 'OK, OK, calm down.' 426 00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:56,499 And if you call the pigs again you'll have his head on your pillow first thing in the fuckin'... 427 00:24:58,140 --> 00:24:59,939 For fuck's sake, Jamie! 428 00:24:59,940 --> 00:25:00,379 'Jamie who?' 429 00:25:00,380 --> 00:25:02,419 You stupid fuckin' prick, Shane! 430 00:25:02,420 --> 00:25:03,299 What did you say his name for? 431 00:25:03,300 --> 00:25:07,179 Don't upset your brother, Shane - you know how gets when he's angry. 432 00:25:07,180 --> 00:25:10,099 Why not fucking make him do summat instead of hanging around pub? 433 00:25:10,100 --> 00:25:14,099 Don't bother. I'm moving out! 434 00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:18,899 So that's what you were after all along, was it? 435 00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:21,059 When you asked me out? 436 00:25:21,060 --> 00:25:22,659 Make a pass at me. 437 00:25:22,660 --> 00:25:25,819 I just... 438 00:25:25,820 --> 00:25:29,139 I just wanted to know if you were still a lesbian. 439 00:25:29,140 --> 00:25:31,019 I'm sorry. 440 00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:34,499 It's just I know what a hold you used have over Frank 441 00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,299 and I got scared. 442 00:25:36,300 --> 00:25:40,299 I can see why he's with you. 443 00:25:41,220 --> 00:25:43,259 Lovely figure. 444 00:25:43,260 --> 00:25:45,179 Good cook. > 445 00:25:45,180 --> 00:25:46,739 City and Guilds. 446 00:25:46,740 --> 00:25:48,499 Grade 1. 447 00:25:48,500 --> 00:25:51,499 Don't think I'd even know how to be with a man any more, 448 00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:53,419 wouldn't know what to do. 449 00:25:53,420 --> 00:25:57,019 It's like riding a bike. You never forget. 450 00:25:57,020 --> 00:26:01,019 I don't think I was very good in the first place. Frank and me, well,... 451 00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:05,339 It's easy, just give 'em a blow-job. They do anything for one of those. 452 00:26:05,340 --> 00:26:06,899 Really? 453 00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:10,139 The trick is to hum while you're doing it. 454 00:26:10,140 --> 00:26:12,699 Makes it vibrate more. 455 00:26:12,700 --> 00:26:16,699 Tell you the truth, I found that out by accident when I was humming the theme tune to Ready Steady Cook. 456 00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:21,539 Frank went off like a rocket. 457 00:26:21,540 --> 00:26:25,539 1812 Overture's the best though, Tchaikovsky. It's all those cannons. 458 00:26:26,260 --> 00:26:30,259 Frank'd do anything for those cannons. 459 00:26:35,940 --> 00:26:38,539 So, you never said, are you... 460 00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:42,539 Are you still a lesbian then? 461 00:26:44,820 --> 00:26:48,819 I've only ever wanted one woman. 462 00:26:48,820 --> 00:26:52,019 That's Norma. 463 00:26:52,020 --> 00:26:56,019 Oh. 464 00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:05,139 What's the point of you crackpot fuckin' Mormon God-freaks then? 465 00:27:05,140 --> 00:27:08,299 Polygamy was the one fucking good idea you had. 466 00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:12,299 Bunch of Ken dolls. > 467 00:27:13,060 --> 00:27:17,059 Hey, and I'm gonna burn me Donny Osmond albums an' all! 468 00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:24,899 Right, so... huh? 469 00:27:25,500 --> 00:27:29,499 What the hell are they doing in here? 470 00:27:31,940 --> 00:27:35,539 Oh, me feet! 471 00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:39,019 I've been around the estate twice for old coppers. 472 00:27:39,020 --> 00:27:40,259 And me. 473 00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:42,139 You think you've got problems. 474 00:27:42,140 --> 00:27:45,299 Do us a favour, Lil, and get me a drink in. 475 00:27:45,300 --> 00:27:49,299 Oh, what's she like? 476 00:27:53,100 --> 00:27:55,539 I don't understand. What the fuck's he playing at? 477 00:27:55,540 --> 00:27:57,459 He's got his reasons. 478 00:27:57,460 --> 00:28:01,459 He'll tell us when he's ready. 479 00:28:03,260 --> 00:28:05,739 All right, you lot, that's your time, please! 480 00:28:05,740 --> 00:28:06,299 What's going on here now? 481 00:28:06,300 --> 00:28:07,979 You're jokin', aren't you? 482 00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:11,419 Where the fuck you been? Not till 12. 483 00:28:11,420 --> 00:28:15,099 I mean it's just that we can open later now than before. 484 00:28:15,100 --> 00:28:18,379 It's all right, everybody. It's just a mistake. 485 00:28:18,380 --> 00:28:20,739 We're open till 12! 486 00:28:20,740 --> 00:28:24,739 Oi, sit back down! 487 00:28:37,140 --> 00:28:39,339 So have you got everything you need, have you? 488 00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:41,659 Yeah. Good night. 489 00:28:41,660 --> 00:28:43,259 Good night. 490 00:28:43,260 --> 00:28:45,739 Why don't you get him dancing girls an' all? 491 00:28:45,740 --> 00:28:47,979 Karen, he's mutilated people. What do you want me to do? 492 00:28:47,980 --> 00:28:49,499 Grow a spine? 493 00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:52,419 Hey, I'm not having that. All right, it's your choice - 494 00:28:52,420 --> 00:28:56,419 you can share with me, or you can share with him. 495 00:29:13,340 --> 00:29:17,339 LATCH TURNS 496 00:29:24,140 --> 00:29:28,139 Jamie? 497 00:29:29,780 --> 00:29:33,779 What... what d'you want? 498 00:29:56,780 --> 00:30:00,099 (MOANS) 499 00:30:00,100 --> 00:30:04,099 (MOANS) 500 00:30:42,660 --> 00:30:46,659 Oh, where the fuck? 501 00:30:49,660 --> 00:30:52,779 She actually said she wanted to get back with Norma? 502 00:30:52,780 --> 00:30:55,459 She might as well have done. 503 00:30:55,460 --> 00:30:59,339 It's, it's just gone stale. You can tell. 504 00:30:59,340 --> 00:31:01,779 Norma not making an effort, 505 00:31:01,780 --> 00:31:03,699 Monica frustrated, 506 00:31:03,700 --> 00:31:05,619 taking out her anger. 507 00:31:05,620 --> 00:31:07,259 You know what it's like - 508 00:31:07,260 --> 00:31:11,259 been together for a while, first casualty's cunnilingus. 509 00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:15,499 Well, you will. (MOANS) 510 00:31:17,380 --> 00:31:21,379 She wants to go home with Norma, I know she does. 511 00:31:23,820 --> 00:31:27,819 Bring the Fuzz-away. We might need it. (MOANS) 512 00:31:38,260 --> 00:31:39,739 'Ere, horsey, horsey! 513 00:31:39,740 --> 00:31:41,619 Have you seen an 'orse? 514 00:31:41,620 --> 00:31:42,499 An 'orse? 515 00:31:42,500 --> 00:31:44,019 Yes, a fucking horse. 516 00:31:44,020 --> 00:31:46,339 About that big. You can't miss it. 517 00:31:46,340 --> 00:31:50,339 Forget it. 518 00:31:50,740 --> 00:31:52,219 Royal Heffernan! 519 00:31:52,220 --> 00:31:53,179 Roy-ie! 520 00:31:53,180 --> 00:31:54,579 Jim-bo! 521 00:31:54,580 --> 00:31:55,579 Fuck off! 522 00:31:55,580 --> 00:31:59,579 Leg it! 523 00:31:59,740 --> 00:32:03,659 I'm not conforming to this shite, Sheila. 524 00:32:03,660 --> 00:32:07,659 It's just society scared of real women and our hairy bits. 525 00:32:08,020 --> 00:32:09,659 Wanting us to look like kids. 526 00:32:09,660 --> 00:32:13,659 But sometimes, Norma, it's just making the gesture, that's all it takes. 527 00:32:14,580 --> 00:32:16,459 It's like chilli con carne - 528 00:32:16,460 --> 00:32:19,699 if you lose the garnish, all of civilisation crumbles. 529 00:32:19,700 --> 00:32:23,699 She has to remember you're attractive to other women, that's all. 530 00:32:23,740 --> 00:32:26,739 I mean, look.It says here, "Lack creates desire and..." 531 00:32:26,740 --> 00:32:30,739 Hey, if that's that Freud pillock, I'm not havin' it. 532 00:32:31,220 --> 00:32:34,779 Fuckin' going on about chicks wanting dicks. 'Fuck's he on? 533 00:32:34,780 --> 00:32:36,259 It's Jade Goody in Hello. 534 00:32:36,260 --> 00:32:40,259 We all need a boost now and again. Freshen ourselves up. 535 00:32:40,300 --> 00:32:42,339 Are you saying I smell? 536 00:32:42,340 --> 00:32:45,499 No. No, of course not, Norma. 537 00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:47,259 Well, you do a bit. 538 00:32:47,260 --> 00:32:50,059 Anyway. You just have a soak in there for a minute, 539 00:32:50,060 --> 00:32:52,779 I'll get you a glass of dry Italian. There you go. 540 00:32:52,780 --> 00:32:54,179 Cheers. 541 00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:56,539 Come on. 542 00:32:56,540 --> 00:33:00,539 (HUMS TO HERSELF) 543 00:33:09,860 --> 00:33:11,859 Bloody Nora. 544 00:33:11,860 --> 00:33:14,499 Don't look at me. I didn't put owt in it. 545 00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:17,339 How the fuck do you lose a bleedin' horse? 546 00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:20,779 I don't know. I think someone's nicked it. It weren't my fault. 547 00:33:20,780 --> 00:33:24,779 Jesus Christ alive! 548 00:33:26,980 --> 00:33:28,939 There you go. 549 00:33:28,940 --> 00:33:30,459 What the fuck do you want? 550 00:33:30,460 --> 00:33:33,099 A round on the house can't hurt, can it? 551 00:33:33,100 --> 00:33:35,619 Cut the fucking shite. What do you want? 552 00:33:35,620 --> 00:33:37,899 Well, look, the thing is, Mimi, 553 00:33:37,900 --> 00:33:41,499 Your Jamie and this job he's doing. I don't know what it is, 554 00:33:41,500 --> 00:33:44,259 but if the brewery get wind of it, I'm sunk. 555 00:33:44,260 --> 00:33:47,939 I'll give you free drinks for life, just, please, speak to him. 556 00:33:47,940 --> 00:33:51,939 My Jamie does what he likes, where he likes. 557 00:33:52,380 --> 00:33:55,019 Hey, Jamie, you just carry on, lad, 558 00:33:55,020 --> 00:33:57,579 with whatever job it is you're doing from here. 559 00:33:57,580 --> 00:34:00,659 We're right behind ya. 560 00:34:00,660 --> 00:34:04,619 I'm not running a job. Not from here, not from anywhere. 561 00:34:04,620 --> 00:34:06,539 I'm going straight. 562 00:34:06,540 --> 00:34:10,019 That's why I took the 'orse back to its owner. 563 00:34:10,020 --> 00:34:14,019 You fucking what? 564 00:34:16,620 --> 00:34:20,619 Now has anybody else got a problem with that? 565 00:34:22,220 --> 00:34:25,459 Cock. 566 00:34:25,460 --> 00:34:28,619 You see, Black Forest gateau's got a terrible reputation, 567 00:34:28,620 --> 00:34:32,619 but it's actually a very sensual cake, rustic, invented in the 1930s. 568 00:34:34,220 --> 00:34:36,499 Sounds lovely, Sheila. 569 00:34:36,500 --> 00:34:39,059 Monica loves chocolate. She told me. 570 00:34:39,060 --> 00:34:41,939 It's one of the things Norma won't let her have. 571 00:34:41,940 --> 00:34:45,539 Which is very short-sighted of her cos it's actually aphrodisiac. 572 00:34:45,540 --> 00:34:48,979 You wait - there'll be no holding her back, the dirty bitch. 573 00:34:48,980 --> 00:34:51,939 Oh and it's a very evocative name for lesbians. 574 00:34:51,940 --> 00:34:53,899 Unless she waxes. 575 00:34:53,900 --> 00:34:57,899 Come on. Let's get this over there. (MOANS) 576 00:35:04,780 --> 00:35:08,779 Oh. 577 00:35:09,100 --> 00:35:13,099 Norma? 578 00:35:18,500 --> 00:35:22,339 You all right, Bird? 579 00:35:22,340 --> 00:35:25,819 Dinner is served. 580 00:35:25,820 --> 00:35:29,819 Come on. 581 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:43,139 You look nice, Norma. 582 00:35:46,690 --> 00:35:49,969 You've even got lipstick on. 583 00:35:49,970 --> 00:35:51,809 It's... 584 00:35:51,810 --> 00:35:54,169 It's fanny pink. 585 00:35:54,170 --> 00:35:57,929 Debbie gave it me. 586 00:35:57,930 --> 00:36:01,929 It's fancy pink. I told you you need glasses. 587 00:36:04,010 --> 00:36:07,289 You told me you loved me. 588 00:36:07,290 --> 00:36:09,689 So... 589 00:36:09,690 --> 00:36:11,609 what happened, bird? 590 00:36:11,610 --> 00:36:15,569 Can't we sort this out? 591 00:36:15,570 --> 00:36:16,729 Keep the change. 592 00:36:16,730 --> 00:36:18,489 Cheers, mate. 593 00:36:18,490 --> 00:36:19,769 So he's really going straight then? 594 00:36:19,770 --> 00:36:20,929 Apparently. 595 00:36:20,930 --> 00:36:24,209 Great. Then I can have me job back. Oi! 596 00:36:24,210 --> 00:36:27,249 You only got me job because people are too scared of you. 597 00:36:27,250 --> 00:36:28,769 Karen! 598 00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:30,049 So this was... 599 00:36:30,050 --> 00:36:32,729 My job and now I want it back! 600 00:36:32,730 --> 00:36:35,569 Hang on a minute! I have some say in this, it is my pub 601 00:36:35,570 --> 00:36:37,609 and there's been no trouble in here since he started! 602 00:36:37,610 --> 00:36:38,649 Jez! 603 00:36:38,650 --> 00:36:42,329 So why don't you share it? Half the week each. That's me final offer. 604 00:36:46,890 --> 00:36:48,609 You're still a fucking perv! 605 00:36:48,610 --> 00:36:50,209 You what? 606 00:36:50,210 --> 00:36:54,209 You came into Jez's room last night and you started getting off with me dress. 607 00:36:54,610 --> 00:36:56,289 Was I sleep walking? 608 00:36:56,290 --> 00:36:57,849 Look, I sleep walk. 609 00:36:57,850 --> 00:37:01,849 Dunno what you were doing, but you were bollock naked and you were groping my dress. 610 00:37:02,410 --> 00:37:03,529 So you saw me? 611 00:37:03,530 --> 00:37:05,129 Course I did. 612 00:37:05,130 --> 00:37:07,369 Well, how much did you see? 613 00:37:07,370 --> 00:37:08,689 Everything. 614 00:37:08,690 --> 00:37:12,689 In detail, close up. 615 00:37:13,210 --> 00:37:17,209 Who's pervin' now, eh? 616 00:37:17,890 --> 00:37:20,769 Oh, there's no community spirit any more. 617 00:37:20,770 --> 00:37:22,849 It's every man for himself, isn't it? 618 00:37:22,850 --> 00:37:24,569 I should have known nobody would give anything. 619 00:37:24,570 --> 00:37:28,569 Can I have my pension back then? 620 00:37:28,890 --> 00:37:32,769 I've given it to a kiddies charity! 621 00:37:32,770 --> 00:37:36,769 Oh! What are you like? 622 00:37:47,290 --> 00:37:47,929 What's happening? 623 00:37:47,930 --> 00:37:48,769 They're holding hands. 624 00:37:48,770 --> 00:37:49,929 Are you sure? 625 00:37:49,930 --> 00:37:53,449 Yeah. 626 00:37:53,450 --> 00:37:57,449 There's a cherry on the top. 627 00:37:58,250 --> 00:38:02,249 Norm, the one thing that you can't give me is what I need. 628 00:38:06,730 --> 00:38:10,329 Me babies. 629 00:38:10,330 --> 00:38:12,649 So, it's really them then? 630 00:38:12,650 --> 00:38:14,609 I've told ya! 631 00:38:14,610 --> 00:38:16,569 Well, all right. 632 00:38:16,570 --> 00:38:20,569 If that's what it's about, I'll have a baby for you! 633 00:38:23,010 --> 00:38:25,329 I mean, I'm not fucking any bloke, mind. 634 00:38:25,330 --> 00:38:29,249 We'll have to, er, get a donation, but if that's what it takes, 635 00:38:29,250 --> 00:38:31,449 I'm there. 636 00:38:31,450 --> 00:38:34,129 You'd do that for me? 637 00:38:34,130 --> 00:38:38,129 I'd do anything for you. 638 00:38:38,210 --> 00:38:42,089 Please, please, please come back to me. 639 00:38:42,090 --> 00:38:44,969 Oh, Norm. 640 00:38:44,970 --> 00:38:48,969 D'you really love me that much? 641 00:38:57,330 --> 00:39:01,329 Well? 642 00:39:06,130 --> 00:39:10,129 I need the loo. 643 00:39:14,610 --> 00:39:17,049 So, what's she said? 644 00:39:17,050 --> 00:39:19,369 She's thinking about it. > 645 00:39:19,370 --> 00:39:22,569 I've offered her a baby. 646 00:39:22,570 --> 00:39:23,809 A baby? 647 00:39:23,810 --> 00:39:27,409 That's what I've promised... if she'll come back. 648 00:39:27,410 --> 00:39:31,009 Might have to get someone else to do it, though. 649 00:39:31,010 --> 00:39:33,409 How do two women...? 650 00:39:33,410 --> 00:39:35,769 Turkey baster! 651 00:39:35,770 --> 00:39:38,009 TV PLAYS 652 00:39:38,010 --> 00:39:42,009 Oh, Frank. 653 00:39:42,890 --> 00:39:46,329 I'm so confused. 654 00:39:46,330 --> 00:39:48,929 Norma's offered me a baby. 655 00:39:51,850 --> 00:39:55,609 Well... 656 00:39:55,610 --> 00:39:59,609 I mean, supposing it's all just words 657 00:39:59,810 --> 00:40:03,809 and it all just gets tired again and... 658 00:40:03,890 --> 00:40:07,889 I end up feeling trapped. 659 00:40:08,130 --> 00:40:09,929 Oh, Frank. 660 00:40:09,930 --> 00:40:12,849 I need a hug. 661 00:40:12,850 --> 00:40:14,049 Oh. 662 00:40:14,050 --> 00:40:15,449 Oh. 663 00:40:15,450 --> 00:40:17,409 Oh. 664 00:40:17,410 --> 00:40:19,809 Oh. 665 00:40:19,810 --> 00:40:21,889 Oh. 666 00:40:21,890 --> 00:40:24,649 Oh. 667 00:40:24,650 --> 00:40:28,649 # Do-do-do-do do-do-do 668 00:40:30,490 --> 00:40:34,489 # Do-do-do-do-do 669 00:40:35,370 --> 00:40:37,609 # Do-do... # 670 00:40:37,610 --> 00:40:40,049 So, you get a turkey baster and you... 671 00:40:40,050 --> 00:40:41,169 Is that singing? 672 00:40:46,490 --> 00:40:50,489 I can't hear anything. 673 00:40:51,330 --> 00:40:52,809 Oh! 674 00:40:52,810 --> 00:40:56,329 Oh! Oh! Oh! 675 00:40:56,330 --> 00:41:00,329 HE GROANS 676 00:41:31,690 --> 00:41:35,689 Where's the fucking remote? 677 00:41:35,770 --> 00:41:38,369 Oh, no. It's all right, you don't have to go. 678 00:41:38,370 --> 00:41:41,089 I'm sorry, Norma. I can't do it. 679 00:41:41,090 --> 00:41:43,809 It's my babies here I need. 680 00:41:43,810 --> 00:41:46,049 What are you talking about? 681 00:41:46,050 --> 00:41:48,529 I'm not coming back, Norm. 682 00:41:48,530 --> 00:41:52,529 And I am sorry to you three an' all, you went to so much trouble. 683 00:41:53,370 --> 00:41:56,489 Food was lovely, though. 684 00:41:56,490 --> 00:41:58,409 It's all right. 685 00:41:58,410 --> 00:42:02,409 I understand. 686 00:42:20,690 --> 00:42:22,289 Here. 687 00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:24,769 Cheers. 688 00:42:24,770 --> 00:42:28,769 So what are you going to do now? Are you gonna go home? 689 00:42:29,090 --> 00:42:32,089 Nah. She'll come round. 690 00:42:32,090 --> 00:42:34,409 She's just not thinking straight. > 691 00:42:34,410 --> 00:42:38,169 She doesn't realise that she can have me as well as you lot, 692 00:42:38,170 --> 00:42:42,169 but she will and when she does I'll be here, waiting. 693 00:42:43,130 --> 00:42:47,129 You can use the inside toilets from now on if you want to. 694 00:42:50,450 --> 00:42:52,529 Thanks. 695 00:42:52,530 --> 00:42:57,089 Electricity, 40 a quarter, and I'll get you your rent book. 696 00:42:57,090 --> 00:43:00,009 Hey? 697 00:43:00,010 --> 00:43:04,009 We have to find a way of getting shot of her. We just have to... 698 00:43:04,610 --> 00:43:06,249 Sheila, will you... 699 00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:08,289 I'm not fighting her any more, Frank. 700 00:43:08,290 --> 00:43:10,929 If she wants the babies she's entitled to that. 701 00:43:10,930 --> 00:43:13,129 Yeah, but, Sheila... 702 00:43:13,130 --> 00:43:16,409 It's too exhausting, hate. 703 00:43:16,410 --> 00:43:18,849 Anyway, the best woman's won. 704 00:43:18,850 --> 00:43:22,449 I'm married to you now, there's nothing she can do about that. 705 00:43:22,450 --> 00:43:26,449 And if you love someone set them free. I'm sitting you free, Frank. 706 00:43:26,570 --> 00:43:30,569 I'm trusting you. 707 00:43:34,130 --> 00:43:35,849 Hey, hey. 708 00:43:35,850 --> 00:43:37,689 Hey! What you doing? 709 00:43:37,690 --> 00:43:40,049 There was too much sunlight yesterday. 710 00:43:40,050 --> 00:43:42,689 I'm feeling a bit insidey outsidey. 711 00:43:42,690 --> 00:43:46,689 Thought I'd make these for myself. 712 00:43:50,650 --> 00:43:53,969 'Squidgy-gate. Camilla-gate. 713 00:43:53,970 --> 00:43:56,609 'Watergate. Gareth Gates. 714 00:43:56,610 --> 00:44:00,609 'I mean, what's it all about, eh? All these private secrets? 715 00:44:01,810 --> 00:44:04,449 'What good does it do, eh, to let them out? 716 00:44:04,450 --> 00:44:07,689 'All you get's a load of heartache and misery. 717 00:44:07,690 --> 00:44:11,689 'And what you don't know can't hurt you, that's what I say. 718 00:44:11,930 --> 00:44:14,449 'Ignorance is bliss. 719 00:44:14,450 --> 00:44:17,249 'Plus, it must be true, I mean, look at George Bush. 720 00:44:17,250 --> 00:44:27,249 'Thick as fucking shit, yet he smiles enough, doesn't he?' 721 00:44:21,250 --> 00:44:22,250 www.addic7ed.com 722 00:45:27,170 --> 00:45:30,689 Yee-haa! 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 51875

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