All language subtitles for Poor Cow (1967)

Now, just hold on. Hold on.

All right, all right. Take it easy.
Take it easy. Let me get the mask on.

Let me get the mask on.

Pant away.

Keep going, keep going.

Good.

Good. Keep going. Look.

Look. Now... now watch your baby born.

Take the mask off.
Take the mask off. Look down.

Look down. Look down.
Look, look. Look.

Good girl. Look. Oh!
Look, there it is.

There.

It's a boy!

Now just a minute.

I be not too hard for life is short

I and nothing is given to man

I be not too hard
when he is sold and bought

I for he must manage as best he can

I be not too hard when he gladly dies

I defending things he does not own

I be not too hard if he tells lies

I and if his heart
is sometimes like a stone

I be not too hard

I for soon he dies

I often no wiser than he began

I be not too hard for life is short

I and nothing is given to man

I be not too hard

I for soon he dies

I often no wiser than he began

I be not too hard for life is short

I and nothing is given to man

I nothing is given to man j

There we are.

What you laughing at?

There we are. There we are.

Come on.

Don't be greedy. Wait for it.

There! That's better.

What are you doing here?
I wasn't expecting you till tomorrow.

Oh, I couldn't stand it in that place
any longer.

You didn't come to see me, did you?

Of course I can't come to see you.
I'm busy, love.

- I've got a living to earn, ain't I?
- Oh, yeah.

'Ere, mind that stuff on the bed,
that's all new, that is.

Yeah, well, put it in the cupboard.
Don't have it on the bed.

And don't sit there
with all that out like that.

Give my mates a right treat
if they come in, won't it?

I don't want you going round the pub
looking like a rat bag.

- Tom, is that you?
- Yes, it's me, love.

- Here's your holiday in the sun.
- Who have you done?

I done a safe in green's betting office.

- You didn't!
- Yes.

- Listen, how much you got?
- Should be £500 there.

'My name is joy.
I'm about five foot three.

'My measurements are 36, 24, 36.
And English.

'My little baby's name's jonny.

'He's quite a chubby little baby.

'And he cries a lot,
most of all in the night.'

- is she still...?
- Oh, still as nosey as ever!

Always got her head behind the curtains.

Oh, they're like that next door to me.
I don't have nothing to do with them.

'I've got long hair and green eyes.

'My legs are a bit skinny, actually.
I don't like my legs very much.

'Um, the things I like most...
Are plenty of clothes and money!

'Well, I was born in Fulham
and my mum had quite a few of us.

'She spent most of her time in the pub.

'My dad's a scaffold erector
and he likes the women.

'Well, I fell in the family way
when I was 18,

'and I got married... to a right bastard.

'Well, I didn't think so at the time,
but I do now.'

- Trixie!
- Oh, hello.

Have you nearly finished?

- Only a few minutes.
- Coming for a coffee?

I there she is with that look in her eye

I hasn't got time for me

I does she know
how it's making me cry... I

joy! Joy! No joy in here, look!
Here you are!

Hey, look, there's some fellas
over there waving at you.

- Where?
- Look, there.

It's my old man. What's he doing here?
He should be at work.

Go on, say hello to him.
I'll look after him.

- Yeah.
- 'Ere you are, get yourself something.

- Well, give us it, then!
- Well, take it, then!

- Take it, then.
- Stop mucking about.

- Are you gonna give it to me?
- Course I am. Don't snatch it, then!

Do something useful, getting hold of it.

Come on, give us it.

- Don't, Tom, it's not funny.
- You give it to her.

I funny how love can be, girl

I funny how love can be

I ooh, ooh, ooh j

'Passing the two-furlong
marker. Then Greek honey, dr blimba,

'new white and tamarack.'

Turn that telly up, joy.

You shouldn't have said that
in front of my friend.

Friend? That monkey-faced git?
I know how much of a friend she is to you.

She wouldn't give you nothing
if you were down.

Tom, don't you dare say that!

She's my new friend!

Come to that, which of your friends
would help you when you're down, eh?

None of them. And I wouldn't ask them.
And they wouldn't ask nothing of me.

Not even if I was starving or they were
starving. Life's like that, isn't it?

- Is it?
- Yeah.

- Turn it up, joy.
- I'm not turning it up.

- You'll turn it up.
- Oh, no, I won't.

Look, I paid for it, you handle it,
will you? Now turn it...

I am not turning the telly up.
Why should I turn the telly up?

- Because you're my old lady!
- Why can't you turn it up?

I'm not turning the telly up! You can get
over there and turn it up yourself.

- Turn it up, joy.
- Make me.

- I'll make you. You won't be conscious.
- You wouldn't dare.

- Get round there and turn it up.
- You pig!

Fed like a pig here.
Two cheese sandwiches a day.

It's all you deserve.
Cos you're a lazy bugger, that's why!

I think, er... I think you ought to
fill me in on it a bit, you know?

Tom, you can do that.

Yeah, well,
I've weighed it up, you know, Dave.

There's definitely six grand
in the Peter, or over, like, you know.

We'll have to have the keys of the safe
off the pole, the manager, he's got them,

and there'll be a bird in there with him
of about 24, settler,

and a little fella, too.

There's three in there.
We're gonna go in four-handed.

Well, the way we work, anyway,
it's always worked,

the driver takes the car,
he's responsible for the car angle.

- That's fair enough, really.
- You gotta have a ringer.

I don't mind. I mean, you know...

- You've got one before, have you?
- Well, that settles it.

I can get plates. I'm easy with plates,
anything, you know.

I mean, when you think
you're gonna come out with over a grand,

let's do it properly, fellas,
or not at all.

Well, there won't be any worry about
being seen. We'll be all masked up.

- What, stockings?
- Yeah, you know.

You don't have stockings over your head,
you pull them up,

stretch them a bit
and wear them under your shirt.

As you run in the door, they're tied up.
When we come out, they're tied up.

They can't see us. We can take our
stockings off in the shop and walk out.

- Where you gonna have the car?
- Second on the left. Must be.

Yeah. If it goes boss-eyed,
he'll have to back up.

I've been making sandwiches.

Never mind about the sandwiches, love.
Bring some more beer in, will you?

I don't think there is any more.
Those are egg.

And those are cheese. You can have
more egg but there's no more cheese.

There's enough eggs here
to get rid of that lot.

I live on sandwiches round here.

Don't start that again.

She cooked dinner at Christmas, I thought
Santa claus had fell down the chimney.

You're asking for it.

Must be better than
the grub in wandsworth.

- Yeah.
- See that rat run across my cocoa?

What beats me are those pots, like,
you know.

And the smell.
The slop out, like, is diabolical.

- Oh, don't be filthy. Don't start.
- I had four years of it!

- Ok! Come on.
- You're hurting my arm. Leave it.

- Come on.
- Leave it.

Come on. There you are. Come on.

It'll be easier for you.

All right!

All right!

- Turn around, get in the car.
- Go on.

Right, ok.

We had ten kids in two rooms, love.

My father was a drunkard.

- So was my mother.
- Really?

Well, lots of women were then.
So much to worry about.

Didn't have no decent furniture.

Rotten old kitchen table. You was lucky
if you had one comfortable armchair.

- No!
- Yeah.

And when there wasn't no money, they put
your kids and you in the workhouse.

I'll have to give this line a rub down,
it's made all my bloody washing dirty.

What's the landlord here like, aunt emm?

- Oh, he's a bit Randy, love.
- Randy?

Yeah. I owed him a couple of weeks rent
one week.

He come to the door and said, "well,
emm, it's two weeks. It's up to you."

- Up to you what?
- Well, you know, I had no money.

- You're joking!
- No, I'm not, darling, I'm serious.

So, anyway, I took him in
for a half hour, you know.

- You didn't!
- I had to, love

did I tell you about the old man?

That nice old man downstairs?
He gave jonny a packet of sweets.

He might seem nice to you.
That dirty old sod.

- What do you mean?
- Never gets anyone to clean his place.

- It stinks as you walk by.
- He can't help it. He's old.

Yes, but I mean, good god,
the council would do something.

Well, I don't know. You can't expect it
when they're old. They can't manage.

There you are. I mean,
something should be done about him.

- They should put him in a home.
- Yeah. Probably better.

I what a day for a daydream

I what a day for a daydreaming boy

I and I'm lost in a daydream

I dreaming 'bout my bundle of joy... j

'The next half hour,
the focus will be on what's new for you

'as we gaze at the stars,
with some forecasts for the future

'compiled especially for us by wilhelmina,
the famous clairvoyant.'

I Sunday could be

I a special Sunday for me

I together we'll surely find

I that two of a kind are we

I on Sunday for tea... I

they don't know anything about pain.

I don't think they're capable
of feeling pain, men. Do you?

- No, I don't.
- No, they only use you to prop them up.

- Yeah.
- They want you to think you need them.

You know, to pay for the bread
and see the rent's done and all that.

It's all a big lie.

You can go to the assistance board
any time, they'll give you the money.

I there's a pub in town
called the Rose and crown

I and one day I met Rosie there... I

- Give us a zip up, will you, love?
- Yeah.

I get lots of offers now, you know,
but I'm a bit nervous being on the change.

I'm gonna get myself put right
and then I'm gonna really go to town.

It's gonna be all town and all,
I can tell you.

I Rosie, Rosie

I shared my knee

I and the bitter memories

I will soon be gone, you'll see I

'It's the cancer constellation
that's going to settle it for you.

'No worries, though, your luck's really in,
especially with partnerships.'

mind you, this one that's after me now,
he's old, but he's good with it.

Elderly men I've got a lot of faith in.

I keep testing it.
I say, "'ere, do you love me?"

This bloody lash won't go on.

Why don't you put glue on it?
You didn't put glue on it.

No, well, sometimes they stick
on their own, you know, if I wink a bit.

Oh, that one's not too bad, is it?
Oh, blimey, look at the end.

I cuddle, I do love you

I you're the one girl for me

I when I look into your eyes

I I see my destiny

I hey, cuddle, what can I do?

I you're so fancy and free... I

it's stuck.

It won't come off.

Oh, cor blimey!
'Ere, I'll take my eye out, I think.

Oh, love, I've done it. I've done it.

I hey, cuddle, I do love you

I you're the one girl for me

I when I look into your eyes

I I see my destiny j

now, if! Don't get myself a bloke,
my name ain't emm.

'Right-oh, Alice, you say
your birthday is on August 14th, my love,

'which makes you a Leo subject.

'The forecast for the rest of the week
isn't too bad,

'as long as you present yourself
as you really are.

'Don't play a part which doesn't suit you.
Ok? Not a bad outlook at all, is it?

'And now a card from mrs pat Samuels
of rainbow's end near Chester.

'How are you today, mrs Samuels?
All right I should think.'

I something's coming along for

I something's coming along for you I

are my earrings straight, love?

I you don't have far to go

I don't let your sadness show

I something's coming along for...

Anyway, shall I bring you back a little
guinness, darling, or a nice ale?

A nice bag of crisps?

No? Well, don't wait up for me, love,
cos I might be a bit late.

Ta-ta, jonny. Ta-ta, darling. Ta-ta.

'You're one of those people
who create an intriguing first impression.

'And it looks as if it could be
a very promising week for you.'

Don't say I never give you nothing,
will you?

You're mad. You'll get nicked.
Fancy doing that.

Come here. I've told you before
and I won't tell you again.

Come and sit down, you naughty boy.

Chasing around after you all day. I just
wanna come out and have a bit of peace.

It's freezing cold, as well.

What were you saying about
walking down the edgware road?

Oh. Well, all of a sudden,
I was, er, bursting to have a...

- What?
- A slash.

And, of course, no toilets around,

so I broke into this boarding house,

I thought there'd be a toilet
on the landing.

- Yeah.
- Well, there wasn't.

And I broke into this room.

- I had no intention of pinching nothing.
- Ohh!

No, no, straight up!
Anyway, I saw this Tom box.

- So I open it up, 250 nicker in there.
- No!

Right. And the room was like,
it was like a treasure chest.

There was money everywhere,
all in wage packets. Disgusting.

So I took the lot. 400.

So that's why we're here, is it?
A treat?

Yeah. Call it a treat, yeah.

It's not much of a treat.
Look at his little nose! It's blue!

Oh, no, it'll do him good,
a bit of fresh air.

I don't like fresh air.
It's not good for the skin.

No, they reckon there's very good air
where there's trees. There's more oxygen.

Cos they breathe out oxygen
like we breathe out... the other.

Here we go, then.

- Car.
- There you go.

- Do you know who rides in there?
- Car.

That's where the chauffeur sits, you see.
The man with the hat, he's the chauffeur.

And that man and that woman in the back
is the Duke and the duchess.

Dave? This kitchen's filthy!

You be yogi bear, right?

And I'll be... a burglar.

- There you are.
- Thank you, love.

I got this flat from my brother.

- Yeah?
- When he was nicked.

- Do you know something, Dave?
- What?

You could make this place
look really nice.

Get a nice pair of cottagey curtains
up there,

you know, those sort of chintzy ones
with the flowers on.

Paint it all white. It'd look nice white.

I'll come and give you a hand.
Do you like football?

Yeah.

I support Fulham, you know.

I always follow them. Even when I was
inside, I used to follow the results.

I don't like footballers. They're not
very handsome, are they, most of them?

Dunno. They're pretty muscular,
you know, they've got great legs.

I don't like muscular men.

- Don't you?
- No.

Oh, I thought you...

Can I have a look at one of your comics?

Yeah. What do you want? Er...

Lois Lane,
featuring Superman and his girl.

You better make the first move

or we'll be here all night.

- Where are you going?
- I'm shutting the world out.

- You haven't half got bony knees.
- Yeah, I'm sorry.

Does it run in the family?

I didn't get that COD liver oil
when I was a kid, you see.

I yellow is the colour
of my true love's hair

I in the morning

I when we rise

I in the morning

I when we rise

I that's the time

I that's the time

I I love the best

I blue's the colour of the sky

I in the morning

I when we rise

I in the morning

I when we rise

I that's the time

I that's the time

I I love the best

- Very good!
- You like that?

I green is the colour
of the sparkling corn

I in the morning

I when we rise

I in the morning

I when we rise

I that's the time

I that's the time

I I love the best

I mellow is the feeling

I that I get

I when I see her

I mm-hmm

I when I see her

I uh-huh

I that's the time

I that's the time

I I love the best

I freedom is a word I rarely use

I without thinking

I mm-hmm

I without thinking

I uh-huh

I of the time

I of the time

I when I was loved I

- That was very good!
- Yeah?

- Yeah!
- Getting better, ain't I?

You are!

Ah!

Dave!

Dave, I can't get out. Come and get
these bleeding sheep out the way.

What? I'm frightened!
Come and get them out.

Frightened of what?

- What, a load of bleeding sheep?
- Oh, don't be rotten.

Just walk through 'em!

I can't, I'm bleeding terrified!

They all look like your aunt emm,
anyway.

- Oh, that's nice!
- Just run through 'em!

- They're sheep! They'll run away!
- Oh, sod it!

Youp@!

Now you'll have to go and get the bucket.
I'm not getting it.

There you are, that one's for jonny.
Here, Dave!

Right. Now then, jonno.

- Don't give it to him! It's too hot!
- Well, what did you give it to me for?

- You said it's for jonny.
- Look, leave him alone. There's yours.

You have to eat it with a spoon
cos I ain't got any forks.

Hmm.

Got any salt?

- It needs some salt.
- Why don't you leave me alone?

You had the salt last.
I don't know where it is.

Urgh!

- What's the matter with it?
- There's a bleeding hair in it!

Well, it's not mine!

Lovely, innit, your hair in tinned soup?
Fantastic.

It's not my hair!
It must've got in at the factory.

Yeah.

It's the best tinned stewed steak
there is, this.

Yeah, you can say that again.

- Well, make it yourself, then!
- Oh, that's great, innit?

Yeah, it's great soup
all over my bleeding hair.

Fantastic.

All over my bleeding hair.

Silly cow.

God. Well, get something, then!
Don't sit there bleeding laughing!

- Go and get a cloth or something!
- Well, you shouldn't have a go at me.

- You asked for that, you did.
- I didn't want it over my head!

'Then we came across
this great big waterfall.

'I don't know what the place was called.

'And it really was, oh, it was fantastic.

'And all the water
came from the mountain,

'like a great big rushing cascade.

'It wasn't a dream. It really did.

'And we had it
right on the top of this waterfall.

'You know when you stand up there
and you look down

'and you can see all that green
and the moss and the rocks?

'Oh, it was terrific.

'It was, you know,
just one of those mad things.

'Little jonny,
he was asleep under the tree.

- You're married.
- Yeah.

And you're not married.
You're a bit muddled.

You're making changes.
You have a child.

You're not in your own home.

But you're going to move
and travel about a lot.

You've had a lot of experience.

You've cried a lot,
you've been through a lot of hardships.

- But you're in love with someone else.
- Yeah.

And you wished on that particular person
for happiness,

prospects of your own life to come.

But you regard you to the older days,
to be more freer in mind and more happy

and settled into your future
than you are at the present moment.

What about this man
that you were telling me about?

Does he... will we be together?
Will we stay together?

- The man called Dave?
- Yeah.

You'll be together with him in time.
Not just yet.

Something is gonna happen
before that will come true.

But it will come true
and you'll marry him.

- I'll marry him, will I?
- Yes.

I'm not gonna tell you all honey.
I wouldn't like to. God forbid.

You're a good living girl in many ways,

but you've been brought astray
because you married too young.

Yeah.

You was told and you walked into it
with your own eyes open.

You've got nobody to blame for it,
only yourself.

And you weren't married a fortnight,
but you knew you made a mistake

and you shed tears, yet you're hoping
you've broke away now for the best.

So I wish you all the happiness you're
looking for, the luck you're looking for

and the prospects in the man that
you're going to marry. Good luck to you.

Me, clean? I'm spotless, ain't I?

- You could eat your dinner off my back.
- Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Friday nights, anyway.

- Who you going with?
- Oh, Peter and Bernie.

- Christ!
- Sorry, was it a bit cold?

A bit cold?

- You'll suffer in the end.
- No. Come on, give us the soap.

- What time are you gonna be in?
- Oh, I don't know.

Let's see.
Not too difficult sort of gaff to get into.

I reckon in and out, a couple of hours.
Should be back here by midnight.

Yeah, don't forget to get me
some nice sovereigns, gold ones.

Well, I'll try, love.

You know, not always made to order.

'Ere!

What did you mean by that last remark?

What do you mean? No, please don't!

Giving her a right walloping, isn't he?

Don't laugh!

You shut up, you old cow!
The lot of you!

And you up there!
What's it got to do with you?

Don't open the curtain too wide,
I've got nothing on.

- Don't be silly.
- You'll expose my three-piece suite.

'Dave was planning
this big Jewel robbery.

'Ten days after we came back from wales,
it was.

'Oh, life with Dave
was just a series of treats.

'In the mornings, he'd always make
a cup of tea and bring it back to bed.

'And if little jonny was awake, well,
he'd come in our bed and have some, too.

'Then in the afternoons,
we'd go for a nice walk in the park.'

- Hello, love.
- Hello.

- What did you get?
- Oh, lots of goodies.

Did you? Let's have a look.

- There you go.
- Oh, smashing!

- Fantastic, eh?
- Yeah.

There's about 80 grand's worth there.

- But, er...
- That's a bit flash, innit?

She was there, unfortunately.

- We locked her up in a cupboard.
- No, you didn't.

- There you are, that's for you.
- Hey, that's nice.

Oh, I like that.
Is it Amber or something?

- Something like that.
- How's that?

Fine. She's all right, though.
We gave her a cup of tea aftennards.

- Did you?
- Yeah.

That's smashing.
Oh, that's a nice one. I like that.

- Let's put it on.
- Fantastic, innit?

Ooh, yeah, I think that really suits me.
Dontyou?

You all three stand convicted

of a craven and cowardly assault
on a defenceless old lady.

Because you were told
that she would be away for the weekend,

you broke into her flat,

expecting to find a considerable sum
in jewellery there.

Well, your information was incorrect
because the old lady was there.

And your first act on entering

was to order her to take off
a valuable diamond ring she was wearing.

And when her knuckles proved too swollen
for her to remove it,

you threatened to rip it off.

Having thus reduced her
to a state of quivering terror,

she was then struck violently
across the head

and locked unconscious in her bathroom.

The effects of that savage blow were such

that she is today almost totally blind.

You then left the flat,
taking with you jewellery

to a value of approximately £100,000.

Society is constantly menaced today

by people of your kidney.

You, David Fuller,

have an appalling history of crime

and your record
is a very, very bad one indeed.

You have had every opportunity
of amending your ways.

Society has given you every chance.

At the age of 13,

you were put on probation
for stealing lead.

At 16, were sent to an approved school
for robbing a tobacconist.

At 19, you went to borstal
for assaulting a policeman.

Your previous convictions
include six cases of larceny,

one previous case of robbery
with violence,

one case of possessing firearms
without a licence,

four cases of car theft.

You, as the ringleader of this group,
David Fuller,

I sentence to 12 years in prison.

'Today I was so shocked,
it seemed like the end of the world.

'12 years is certainly a long time,
but it's not the end, Dave.

'Please, love... try and face it.

'I know you'll be by yourself
for a long time.

'But I'll be out here waiting for you.

'And we'll still get married one day.'

What do you do
when a customer comes up to you?

When he comes in, he'll come up to the
bar and you say, "can I help you, sir?"

Then supposing he says,
"well, I'll have a light ale."

You get him a light ale
and you take his money.

And then he might say to you,
"would you like one yourself?"

So you say, "ooh, yes, please!"

You cop your money
and you get yourself a drink.

Mind you, if you don't fancy one,
don't say no.

Cop the money anyway
and tell him you'll have one later. See?

If he gets stroppy, leave him.
Just walk off.

- You've got your reputation to think of.
- Yeah.

Sometimes you get fellas in here
who've got a few Bob.

If you get one of those, you wanna
hang onto them. Serve them first.

All sweet smiles and that.
Give them the works.

Make them think they're marvellous,
even if they're bland.

They do most of the chatting themselves.

All you've gotta do
is say yes in the right place.

I'm sure I'm gonna get it all ballsed up.

You won't. You'll be all right.

- Bottle of Worthington, please.
- Ok, love.

I'm sorry about that. You'll have to have
the rest later. You don't mind, do you?

I oh, I dwell in the town
in the grey country

I wearily

I wearily

I and I live with my pride
and my babe and things

I wearily

I wearily

I and I take to my rest
at the end of day

I whilst o'er head

I star do play

I and then I dream along

I and then I hear a song

I about everything
that I've known and felt

I and it makes my sadness melt

I then I wake up
in a funny old kind of day

I the rain has gone away

I watching the children sing and play

I in the garden and the roadway

I up comes a little one singing a song

I about a friend she knows called Rosie

I off to the waste ground you must go

I bring me one fine posy

I all of a sudden, I'm light as air

I I feel sad as a butterfly

I do-da-do-dwee-a-do

I do-da-do-dwee-a-do

I do-ba-da-ba-do-dwee-a-dwee-a-do

I do-ba-da-ba-do-dwee-a-do

I oh, I dwell in the town
in the grey country

I wearily

I wearily

I and I take to my rest at the end of day

I whilst o'er head

I pretty stars do play

I and I live with my pride
and my kid and things

I wearily

I wearily

I and then I dream along

I and then I hear a song

I about everything
that I've known and felt

I and it makes my sadness melt

I then I wake up
in a funny old time of day

I the rain has gone away

I watching the children sing and play

I in the garden and the roadway

I up comes a little one singing a song

I about a friend she knows called Rosie

I off to the green wood you must go

I bring me one fine posy

I all of a sudden, I'm light as air

I I feel sad as a butterfly

I do-da-do-dwee-a-do

I do-da-do-dwee-a-do

I do-ba-da-ba-do-dwee-a-dwee-a-do

I do-ba-da-ba-do-dwee-a-do j

'Well, my love, I'm now sitting
at number eight writing this letter.

'Oh, god, I've never felt so lonely
in all my life.

'With two chairs
and our little coffee table. Joe's one.

'I'm just waiting for Joe,
if he can make it.

'And also,
a man is gonna buy our cooker, I hope.

'Now I will think of all our happy times.

'Do you remember the night
we put the curtains up?

'They're gone now.

'And our shelf with all the flowerpots.
Cactuses.

'And me always knocking them down.

'I found the truck you made for jonny.

'I'm gonna keep it.

'I wish they would hurry up and come,
so I could talk to someone.

'But I mustn't forget
you're by yourself all the time.

'Are you still cleaning your teeth
and rubbing your shoes up?

'Black Mark if you're not.

'By the way, my little love,
have you been keeping your promises?

'No dog ends on the floor. Have you?

'Also, jonny's got a terrapin.

'It's like a tortoise.

'He lives in the water.
His name's bill.

'I'll be so glad
when next year comes.

'Oh, by the way,
I know everything in barmaiding now.

'I'm getting good.

'I can't get varicose veins, can I?

'Oh, I'd die if! Got those.

'You know, they never did come
and do the TV, did they?

'Auntie emm's driving me mad, as usual.

'How about that night
when we had the party?

'And you went off with them and I kept
crying cos I thought you'd left me.

'And you came back and cuddled me
and said you loved me

'and you'd never leave me.

'Do you remember that, Dave?

'Oh, it makes me feel... I dunno.

'By the end of the week,
it'll all be gone.

'Then all we have is each other.

'But that's the main thing, us.

'Well, darling, I'll be closing now.

'I must have a wash
for the last time in number eight.

'And remember,

'no-one took your place at number eight.

'Oh, that's not meant bad.

'You understand what I mean.'

about the time
I was a maid to a prostitute?

- No.
- Oh, talk about a laugh.

I had to stay in this flat
and take the messages over the phone.

Once or twice,
I pinched one of her customers.

She didn't know
and they was only little ones.

- What do you mean, little fellas?
- No, little customers!

Didn't come very often.

You know, the kinky types
that want to beat you with plastic roses.

I used to get them off the daz packets.

One of those rubber ones that
makes you sweat and you lose weight?

- No! Just an ordinary little...
- Do me a favour, darling.

- Put the cigarettes out.
- Why?

I agree on principle
we require such an incomes policy.

You agree to anything.

No, the trouble is,
it's operating against the working man.

Look, this one, it's in my way.
I can't put my beer down.

- I can't reach it from here.
- Go on, go on, I'll give you a hand.

- Whoa!
- Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ooh, that was a bit naughty.
You haven't half got some form.

- Cor!
- You asked me to do it, didn't you?

What's your name?

- Joy.
- Joy. The name for pleasure.

Listen, is your old man,
is he on night work?

- Yeah.
- I'll see you tonight if you like.

- Have you got any booze in?
- I can get some.

- Well, that's a good idea.
- All right.

I'll give you a demonstration then.
I don't wanna do it out in the open.

What... what... oh!

You're not too old, are you?

I've been clocking you.

And I... no, serious.

- Do you like Chinese?
- I love it, yeah.

This bottle's been opened.
There's something wrong with this bottle.

- You better take it back.
- There's nothing wrong with it!

- I just opened it. You watched me do it.
- It's no good. I can't drink it.

- Why not?
- I don't know. There's something wrong.

Cos you've had too much, that's why!
If you don't want it, leave it!

- What's the matter?
- I don't know.

I'm fed up with this place.
I've just about had enough.

If that modelling don't turn out,
I'm going up west and turning professional.

- Why don't you come?
- Oh, no, I couldn't, beryl.

- Why not?
- I enjoy it too much.

If I turned professional,
I'd lose the pleasure of it.

- What can I do for you, love?
- Hello, blondie. Halfa bitter, please.

- Still here, then?
- Yeah.

- Thought you might have gone by now.
- I haven't seen you in here.

- I know, but I've seen you.
- Oh, have you?

- Hurry up. I'm a bit thirsty.
- Don't rush me.

That's my line, see? Rushing about.

- Early morning baker round.
- One and a penny.

Gotta get the bread round
before it all goes, you know?

My speciality, actually.
Breakfast in bed.

Tell you what, you give me your number
and I'll be round in the morning

- with some nice rolls. How's that?
- Don't forget, will you?

- No, of course I won't forget.
- Bring some butter cos I ain't got any.

- You haven't got butter?
- No.

- Anything else you want?
- You can take me shopping.

- We could have it away.
- Well, now, now, behave yourself.

I'll tell beryl if you ain't careful.

Are you sure I haven't got
too much make-up on?

Show us.
No, you look handsome and all.

No, but it might be
a bit overdone for photographs.

Course it won't! You have to have it
overdone for photographs.

All right, then.

Beryl, there's loads of them.

- Well?
- I can't face it. I'm nervous.

Don't be silly.
It'll be all right, I tell you.

You've seen this girl before.
She can do far better poses than that.

It's the way he's got her draped.
Now, that's not bad.

She shouldn't be draped at all, actually.

- Well, all right, so...
- I don't come here to do them draped.

- What do you come here for?
- Just to pass a Sunday morning away.

- You put film in the camera, don't you?
- No! Do you?

- Yes.
- No, I never put film in the camera.

- Why not?
- Well, it's a waste of time.

The girls are ready. Right, can I have
your attention, gentlemen, for a minute?

Well now, the models we've got
for you tonight are joy and beryl.

Beryl you know. Joy is a newcomer,
so be patient with her for a little while.

But they're prepared to pose this way
and that and a bit of how's your father,

so we should have a good session.

And any beginner having trouble
with your equipment, ask me.

- Hello.
- Hi, darling. How are you?

You all know beryl, don't you?
And this is joy, the newcomer.

- Hi, joy.
- Hello. Welcome.

Well, what do you want?

What about something
with the umbrella, get it started off?

- Here you are.
- Oh, right. Ta.

- What do you want me to do with this?
- Well, put it up, for a start.

Darling, can you do something evil
with that handle?

- Lovely.
- Lick your lips, girls.

Can you get very close together?
Two heads together.

And then the hands out. You know,
put your hands out, feeling the rain.

It's pouring down outside.
That's it. Smashing.

And can we have the pout of the mouth
and the big eyes?

And look towards me, girls, please.
That's great. Smashing.

Very good.

Beryl, this shot, take your...
That's right, slightly off the shoulder.

Wait a minute. That's very nice.
Now droop it down a bit there.

- Take the dress off.
- That's beautiful.

I want to get that.

Now give me a look as though
I'm the lowest form of animal life.

- Has anybody got a whip?
- That's lovely.

- Finished now, mate?
- Yeah, give us a hand up.

Hey! That's it.

- Cor blimey!
- Bloody hell!

That's it.

Let's see you show
a bit more of your leg, love.

Oh, gorgeous.

Now what about one just
aftennards? You know, all...

- Limped.
- Remembering.

- Remembering what?
- Let's have you remembering now.

Wait a minute, then.

- Give us nice and sweet.
- Come round here. That's it.

- Give us a nice steely look.
- Now a come and get me look.

Pull your stomach in a bit, joy.
Lovely.

That's better. Yeah.

- Right round.
- Right round.

Huddle in, huddle in.
That's right.

Hold it there.

I don't know what
she's trying to hide, it's very nice.

- Push them up.
- I could do this all night.

- Got it?
- Yeah.

- And then drape it down the bosom.
- All right.

- Nice. Like that.
- Can we have a saucy smile?

That's right, just leave
a little bit of cleavage. Right.

Saucy smile now. Lovely.
Head back a bit.

I want you on the side
of the wicker chair now.

Put your behind on it.

- Your behind on the wicker.
- Oh, no, you can't...

No, you can't...
No, don't sit like that, darling.

You can't ask a girl
to sit on a wicker chair.

- Why not?
- She'll Mark all her bottom!

That's lovely. Have a giggle,
go on. That's it, lovely.

You're all after my smile, ain't you?

Yeah, well,
you should see my old woman.

If you could turn round
with just your hands over the nipples.

Can we just try that?

No, no, the right hand on the
right one, the left hand on the left one.

Sort of like this. No, the other way.

The other hand on the other one.
That's it, yeah.

- Now turn round.
- Good. No, a bit...

Can we just see a bit more?
A little less hand? That's it.

- Yeah. Oh, lovely! Ooh, yeah.
- If you can, spread your fingers out.

Lift your, erm, your fur round.

Much lower. Much lower. Much lower.

So you just get a little bit showing
on the top of your breast.

That's it. That's it.

That's nice. A nice, warm smile.

That's it. Lovely, yeah! That's it!

- Ooh, yes!
- Oh, lovely! Hold it. Good girl, yes.

- Get out the way.
- Push them up a bit, girl. That's it.

- Oh, lovely!
- That's it.

- Hold it.
- Looks like one of those snowdrops.

Don't make me laugh.

Who's that? Oh.

Oh, you little bugger.

Can't we have a bit of peace
in the morning? Come on.

- I want my trousers.
- Oh.

Hello.

Oh, I bet your mum
won't half be pleased.

Jonny? Jonny, you haven't taken
my hairpiece, have you?

If that dog from downstairs
has had it, I'll kill him.

Jonny! Now, you listen to me, jonny.

You tell me where it is because I can't
go out without it. Now, where is it?

You can't leave a thing
in this poxy hole.

Now, listen, I'm telling you,
I'm not gonna give you any more sweeties,

no more ice creams, nothing,
until you tell me where that hairpiece is!

You have got it! You naughty little boy!
Now, where did you get that from?

Look at the state it's in!
I'll never be able to wear it again!

That cost me five and 11!

Jonny, you're very, very naughty!
Naughty boy!

Oh, it's you. I was having a lie in,
you know? You got me up.

I know you was having a lie in. I saw
aunt emm and jonny going down the road.

- Oh, did you, bright eyes?
- I've got eyes out the back of my head.

- Ah, yeah. I know what you want.
- What?

A cup of tea. Come on.
I've just made some.

Do to be going on with, I suppose.

Blimey, don't you have
any of that chunky marmalade stuff?

- What?
- I can't stand thatjelly marmalade.

- Little jonny likes it.
- No, I like it with all the bits in.

- Oh, no, I don't fancy that.
- As much as possible.

- What?
- As much as possible.

Here, this'll do you good.

- Two, isn't it?
- Yeah.

Oh, yes.

You're a bit late this morning,
ain't you?

Yeah.
Well, I had the money to collect, see?

Surprised I'm here by now.

- I don't believe you.
- It's true.

Hold on! Oh!

I've got butter and crumbs
all in my earhole!

Back of myjacket and all!

There'll be trouble if anyone sees that.

Lovely.

Do you know, I ain't had breakfast in bed
since I had the flu.

I know exactly who you went out with!

- Oh, you do, do you?
- Are you gonna tell me?

Look, it's got nothing to do with you
who I went out with!

It's got nothing to do with me, eh?

Well, go on! Go on! Get out!

Look, I don't owe anything to you.
You're not a steady boyfriend of mine.

- You made a date with me, right?
- Yeah, big deal.

- And you didn't turn up.
- No, I didn't.

I had something better to do, that's why!

You've got something better to do now,
get out of this building!

Don't you talk to me like that!
Do you know what you are?

You're just a silly little boy.

- Am I? Am I a silly little boy?
- Yes! You're a silly little boy!

And you're a slut!

- Don't call me a silly little boy.
- That's what you are!

I don't wanna see your ugly face!

Ugly face? You wanna look
at your own bloody face!

Shut up!

Shut your trap.

Ohh!

They're talking about
this new parole system.

- Yeah?
- And they reckon that

you'd only have to do
one third of your sentence,

which means I'll only have to do
four years, you see? If it goes through.

Do you reckon you can hang on
four years?

Of course. Look, Dave, I've told you.

Every time I write a letter to you,
I tell you.

Yeah, I know, but really, I mean really.

Of course I'll hang on, love. I've
done it before. Why can't I do it again?

- What have you been doing?
- Nothing really.

Cos I don't ask, doesn't...

Doesn't mean I don't care, you know?

I'm very possessive, really.

I try not to be... because I'm in here.

But...

Look, love, I know you're possessive.

And I understand that.

But you're the governor.

Will you tell my mum
I'll write to her tomorrow?

Yeah. I'll pop round and see her.
I saw her last week.

- Did you?
- Yeah. She's had her hair permed.

Oh, she's in a right state. It's gone
all frizzy and it's started to fall out.

You wouldn't half laugh
if you could see her.

He wants me to be like a nun.
Well, I mean, I don't feel like a nun.

You don't look like a nun.

They're all the same.

Well, I don't know
what he expects, beryl.

I mean, I can't go for another 11 years
without a man, can I?

- Do you know what?
- What?

I'm gonna start evening classes
in September.

What for?

Elocution.
I think that's what they call it, anyway.

They teach you how to talk properly
and some other thing I can't remember.

Well, what do you want to learn
all that for?

- Well, I wanna speak nice.
- Well, you speak nice.

Oh, I don't. I speak quite nice, but it's
much better if I could speak like you.

- Why?
- Well, you speak nice.

- Do I?
- You can get a betterjob

and you can meet nicer people
if you speak nice.

What do you mean nicer people?
You are in my flat. I'm nice.

Ah, well, I'm one of the lucky ones,
aren't I?

Yeah.

Do you like these tights I've got on?

- Yeah, they're lovely.
- I think they're marvellous.

- You got a ladder?
- No, I've got a little black smudge.

- I don't know what it is.
- Funny place to have a black smudge.

- But you know what I'd really like?
- What?

I'd like one of them body stockings.

- A what?
- A body stocking!

- What's a body stocking?
- Well, you just have, you know,

it's a bit like this petticoat, really,
isuppose,

but without this bit round the bottom.

Oh, that'd be handy.

You don't have to wear a bra
or anything underneath them.

It goes right up, then, does it?

- I like this staircase.
- So do I.

It's a bit dangerous, though, innit?

Oh, I lost the soap!

I really lost it.

- What are you gonna do about it?
- Well, I dunno.

What do you want me to do about it?

Well, you could amble down here
and give me a hand to find it.

- You did it on purpose, didn't you?
- Now, I wouldn't do a thing like that.

- What part of the bath is it in?
- The wet part.

- In the wet part?
- Yeah.

In the water. It's only a small piece.

- You mean it's under the water?
- Ooh, yes!

- Is it down that end or up there?
- It's about mid.

- In the middle?
- Yeah.

- Just down there.
- Just down there.

- Oh, careful!
- That's not it, is it?

- No, that's not it.
- Well, where is it?

There. You'll be able to tell when...

- That's it.
- No, that's one of my digits.

- Oh! It's not there.
- Yes, it's there somewhere.

- That's freezing! Don't be...
- Oh!

Mrs steadman,

there are five grounds on which
you can bring an action for divorce.

There's incurable insanity, which means
that one of the partners to the marriage

has been under the care of a doctor
for five years.

There are sexual offences
on the part of the husband,

which include such things as sodomy,
bestiality and rape.

Yeah.

There is desertion
after three years of marriage.

- There is adultery. You understand?
- Yeah.

And there is cruelty,
both physical and mental.

Now, on what grounds do you wish
to bring this action of divorce?

- Well, cruelty, really.
- Cmdw.

- Yeah.
- I see.

Could you perhaps give me some details?

Well, he used to beat me up, you know?

- I see. Physical brutality.
- Yeah, physical.

And what about mental cruelty?
That is cruelty which could be said...

Well, both, really.
I mean, it was mental and physical.

Yes. I see.

- He nearly drove me mad.
- Mmh

tell me, what's your present job,
mrs steadman?

Well, I work in a pub at the moment.

But, I mean, I can't go every day
because of my little boy, you see?

I earn about a fiver a week
and I make it do.

Well, I mean, I pay one club one week,
and then when I've paid that,

it's my turn to buy something for myself,
then it's jonny's turn, then my turn.

Mmh. Really, then, you live,
or should I say exist on £5 a week.

Yeah, that's right.
Do you know, people say to me,

"joy, I don't know how you do it."

And do you know,
the only little luxury I have

is if a fella gives me a couple of quid.

"If a fella gives me a couple of quid."
I see.

Yeah. And that, to me, is marvellous.

Mrs steadman... I must ask you
at this stage in the proceedings...

Whether in fact
you have ever committed an indiscretion.

Well... well, only once.

- I mean, that was through frustration.
- Good. Just the one occasion?

Yes. Well, I mean,
I'm not really that way inclined.

Mmh.

Now, tell me, I assume that you like
being well-dressed, buying pretty...

- Do you mind if! Smoke?
- Oh, no, please do.

Erm...

You know, you like spending money,
in fact, do you?

- Oh, yes. I love to dress up.
- Mmh

but don't you think, mr pinker,
that love is the most important thing?

- No, I mean, don't you, really?
- Well, I...

Love and happiness
is the most important thing.

If you haven't got love,
well, what have you got? Nothing.

I mean, money isn't really important.

I mean,
it's important to me at the moment,

but that's only cos I can't have Dave,
you see?

You know, I like to dress up
and make myself look nice.

Does your wife like to look nice
and dress herself up?

Well, as a matter of fact,
I live with my mother.

Oh. You're a bachelor, then.

Yes. Yes.

- Hello. Good afternoon.
- Oh, isn't he sweet?

- Do you like hairy men?
- No, I don't!

I like them hairy.
I reckon they're handsome.

- Hairy all over?
- Yeah.

- What, all over?
- All over!

Funny, innit, how you get to know
the way fellas would like it?

-Mmh - here, see him?

Proper dead. Not a bit interested.

Him? Now, he'd love it,
but he's scared stiff.

- You can see that.
- You'd love it, wouldn't you, blossom?

- Shut up, beryl!
- See, I told you.

Oh, look at him. He's gorgeous.

Lovely.
I bet he's got some muscles somewhere.

And I wouldn't half like
to get my hands on 'em.

Oh, beryl, look at that girl.
Isn't she pretty?

Why is it all these girls look so soft
and I look so hard? I never used to.

Oh, leave off.

Here, look at that one.
He's the type would murder you first

and hang you in a cupboard
before he'd have a thing to do with you.

- You think he would?
- Look at his eyes. You can tell.

- He is a bit funny.
- Look at this one.

He looks as though
he's got a bit of money to me.

You're soft. Do you know that?

You talk about jonny
and your house in the country.

You're never gonna make it.
You give it away, don't you?

- No.
- Yes, you do. You give it away.

Well, I know I do.
But I get carried away.

You know, I see some fella in the bar,
his moustache catches my eye,

and I get this funny little throb
in my stomach.

Sex mad, you are.

Well, it's like some magnet
drawing you together.

That's before he's even touched me,
mind you.

You know, accidental, like. He might
brush my arm or something like that.

- Then I've had it. I can't help it.
- You're a right lust pot, you are.

I pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man

I bake me a cake as soon as you can

I pat it and bake it... I
mind you don't fall off the bed.

Come here. Come here.
No, come in to me a bit more.

That's it. How are we doing? Come on.

Come on.

- How's little jonny?
- Oh, he's a little sod.

He gets up in the middle of the night
and gets in my bed.

He keeps wetting the bed.
I wake up in the middle of the night

and I feel a great warm river
flowing towards me.

It's all them bottles, you know?

He shouldn't really still be on bottles.
He's... he's nearly three, isn't he?

Yeah. But, I mean, you wouldn't like it

if you was thirsty and you couldn't
have a drink, would you?

Anyway, it's a comfort to him.

- Let him be happy while he's young.
- Yeah.

It's bleeding horrible
when you're grown up.

Don't say that, Dave.

I mean... we've had some happy times,
haven't we?

Yeah.

It was worth it to me,
being alive just for them six months.

I mean, you know what they're like.
We're not people. We're monkeys.

"Oi, monkey!" You know what I mean?

Inspection comes round,
looks at the place, gobs on the floor,

"clean it up, you monkey!"

And I kept thinking of you
spending Christmas with Tom.

Don't start bringing him into it.
I'm not gonna see Tom.

I don't wanna be with Tom at Christmas.

All I shall do at Christmas
is think of you.

- He's coming out soon. I just thought...
- Oh, Dave.

Why don't you trust me?

This, er... I heard from this fella

that he'd seen you
in a pub with a geezer.

I work in a pub, don't I?

I have lots of drinks with the fellas.

He reckoned he took you home, you see.

In his car.

He only gave me a lift.

Well, I don't know that.
I mean, I just...

If you go home in the car
with a fella, then...

I just wanna know one way or the other,
that's all.

I mean, if you have, you know, and...

I'd rather not see you anymore,
that's all. I... it's...

It's difficult enough as it is.
If you're coming here to see me

and having drinks with fellas and...
Running about in their cars, I just...

Would rather not see you at all.
That's all.

Because I feel foolish. I feel foolish
sitting here talking to you. And...

Do you see?

Don't you want me
to come and see you anymore, then?

You know the trouble with you, Dave,
dontyou?

You listen to other people.

You mustn't take notice
of everything anybody says to you.

It's just I, I...

For months I work out how it's gonna be
when you come, how great it's gonna be.

I work out in my mind how I'm gonna
keep telling you I love you

and then it's always like this
and I haven't said it once yet.

- Have you been coming long?
- Yes.

The first time I came,
he was sitting out in the grounds.

And as he saw me,
he started to cry his eyes out.

That started me off.
Then we were both crying our eyes out.

He has to stay in for a while, Dave,
he's doing a painting job.

He won't be out till it's finished.
It's government, secretjob.

Why's he wearing
those funny clothes?

Oh, it's just a uniform
so the spies don't get him.

- It's a job to know what to say.
- Oh, dear!

The court's taken my home away.

How can I afford to pay £7 a month
on £5 a week?

By the time I've paid the rent,
all I've got is 25 Bob assistance.

If it wasn't for my mum,
I don't know what I'd do.

I had to pawn my wedding ring
after I'd seen him.

Before the next visit,
I have to get it out again.

If I had anything else to pawn,
I'd pawn that, don't you worry.

'Hello, boys and girls.
How are you feeling this sunny afternoon?

'Welcome to the show. We've got
a great line-up of records for you.'

'It's not so good here without you.

'Oh, Dave,
do you remember when I bent down

'and you slapped my bum with that stick?
It didn't half hurt.'

I I said I loved you

I but I lost my head over you

I I said I loved you

I but I lost my mind over you I

'Do you remember when we went
to that pub and they asked me to sing?

'Oh, it was terrible.
You made me go all red!'

I since you went away

I my world fell down I

- Oh, my spade, look!
- Go and get your spade! Go on!

- Quick, before somebody takes it.
- That's not his spade.

Come on. I'll go and get it. Come on.

'Dave, we'll both
make it up to each other one day.

'And I'll be a good wife.

'A proper mum, too.

'Oh, I love you so much.

'Without you and your love, I'd be lost.

'You don't know how true that is, Dave.'

I let's go

I to San Francisco

I where the flowers grow

I so very high

I sunshine... j

Let me put my cape
round my shoulders.

Stop moaning.

Oh! Come on. Hold my hand.

I talk to the sky

I lots of sunny people I

'Every day that passes,
I think to myself,

'another day nearer to Dave.

'And even if we can't
have each other now,

'we'll have each other in the end.

'I believe that and I always will.'

I'm freezing.

'Oh, how about that? A little
flower power from the flowerpot men.'

sit up there. Oh! That's it.

'...Listen to a beautiful
song now from miss Julie Grant

'and it's called
my world is empty without you.'

'Dave, do you remember
the punch and Judy show at Blackpool?

'And you put two and six in
instead of tuppence?'

shh! Stop it, jonny.

'You know, Tom comes out in three
months. I shan't go back with him.

'I'll keep on with my divorce.

'Don't worry.
Our time will come one day.

'You've gotta have Patience.'

I why did you have to make me blue?

I my world is empty without you I

'And believe me,
being away from you

'is really killing me.

'Our whole happiness
gone down the drain, 12 years.

'Do you remember
that midnight walk you took me for?

'And we saw that star move?

'I forgot to tell you,

'we did have some lovely times.

'I remember us trying to have it
in the back of a car. Do you remember?

'I only like it in comfort.
We were staying at the hotel.

'And me worrying about the sheets.
And you taking a nail brush.'

a bit greasy, these chips, aren't they?

'Do you remember Norfolk?
Jonny picked me some daisies.

'We never took no photos.

'Still, not to worry.

'We could lose our photos
but not our memories.

'We've got them for ever and ever.'

Come on,
stop dreaming and eat up.

I children playing in the park

I shoot their toy guns, find their Mark

I little boy soldiers start to cry

I another four kids that have to die

I ring-a-ring-a-roses, all fall down

I watch the circus, see the clown

I laugh when he falls on his head...I

'Oh, darling,
things will change as years go by.

'But I'll never marry anyone else.

'I mean that.

'Even if they do have plenty of money,
a house and a car.

'They could never have what you have.'

I I know all there is to know

I about the crying game I

I don't like it.

- Let's have a look.
- Can I go on that little horse?

- Oh, aren't they terrible?
- Me crying. Look at me crying.

Look at your miserable face!

Why didn't you smile like me?

That me not crying anymore.

No. That's you crying.

I baby, baby

I I still love you

I baby, babyl

I please come round

I please come round I

I I'm gonna tell you how it's gonna be

I you're gonna give your love to me

I a love to last more than one day

I a love that's love, not fade away I

soo... soo wanted to paint
the ceiling white.

But sooty was a naughty bear and
liked to paint it all different colours.

So while soo took
all the furniture out of the house,

soo landed on two empty boxes,
a plank of wood.

He began to paint with his big brush.

Then his blue, then his yellow,
and all sorts of colours.

Mind out of the way, love.
I wanna get down the stairs.

Oh, come on, let's go and see
who that is at the door.

- Perhaps it's the postman, eh?
- Yeah.

- Oh.
- Hello, joy.

It's you. I didn't think
you was coming out until tomorrow.

- I wrote and told you, love.
- No, I don't remember.

- What do you want?
- I've come round to see the kid.

Well, I don't know. I mean,
I've got divorce proceedings going on.

I want to see the kid.
I don't want a pint of blood, love.

I can't stand here, can I?

Well, come in and have a cup of tea.
I can't refuse you that, can I?

All right, son?

Now, don't mess about, jonny.
Be good.

Jonny's real dad's home.

Emm? It's him.
He wants a cup of tea.

Can you put the kettle on?

Ah! She's got another man
coming up there again!

I see you've got
your binoculars out.

Mind your own business,
you nosy old mare!

I'm not gonna mind my own business!
I'm gonna tell the landlord!

I don't know if this is the Hilton
or the Dorchester. What is it?

The state of this place.
Look what you've come to.

Well, it's all right. I mean,
I'm happy here. He's been happy here.

Oh, joy, be honest.
Take a look round at it.

Disgusting. And as for that road out there,
it's like a 200-yard toilet.

I'm telling you.

It looks like a baked bean advert,
all the cans out there and everything.

Oh, Tom, shut up
with all your funnyjokes.

I've had enough of it. Just come out
with what you wanna tell me.

Don't come round here giving me all that.

I'm not being funny, love.
Can't you see I've had enough, me, love?

You know all I want is, you know,
a chance at the start, that's all.

I haven't come round here to argue.
You started screeching, not me, love.

It's the last thing
I want to do is argue.

Listen, I've got the keys
to lennie's place, anyway.

Do you remember the one
with the apricot curtains and the carpet?

There's three bedrooms and a bathroom,
love, if you want it.

You know, if you want to give it a try,
we can go over there.

- I don't know, Tom.
- You've got to do it for jonny's sake, joy.

It's not really even up to you, is it?

I want all new furniture
for the new place, Tom.

- Psychedelic curtains and that?
- Can I have it?

Course you can. What do you think
I brought you down here for?

We're having every stick of furniture
out of that slum you got down there.

Hey, that's nice. I like that.

- It's faded. It's faded.
- It's lovely.

- It's like Caribbean decorators' gear.
- Oh, I like that, Tom.

- How about that one in the bedroom?
- Brass's carpet, love.

- A brass's carpet?
- Yeah.

I think it's smashing.

Tom, shall we have another baby?

What, have all that aggravation
and screeching all night, love?

- What aggravation?
- Well, it was murder, wasn't it, love?

Aww, I'd love a little girl. I'd call
her Debbie. Do you like that name?

- Debbie? Yeah, it's all right, innit?
- Yeah. I think it's smashing.

I can just see her now, tottering
down the road in a little pink frock

with all her bum showing.

There you are, jonny.

You seen this in the paper?

Some fella did a smash and grab.

He got away with £50,000 worth ofjewels.

Why don't you go up west again?
Here, have a look.

Some people have got more chance
of earning money up west than me.

Anyway, you just can't do that on
your own. He's not a burglar, the geezer.

You need a ringer. You need, like,
two-handed, you need a...

Well, you need money. You gotta have
money to do something like that.

Well, why don't you ask Jim and bunter
to lend you some?

Jim and bunter
wouldn't give me anything, joy.

Nobody would give me anything.
What have I ever give to anybody?

People, if you've got no dough,
you're nobody.

You've got no money,
people don't want to know you.

- You got money, you're Jack the lad.
- Look at my knees. I paint my toenails

then I forget to wash my knees.
I dunno know what's wrong with me.

Here, did you hear about
that Jimmy Baxter? He got off.

Do you know how he got
out of that, love? It cost him £200.

He give the flying squad,
one of the flying squad, £200.

- Well, what do you mean?
- He give it to him.

He give it to him
so as not to give evidence.

- Ain't you ever heard of that, joy?
- Well, I have, yeah.

Do you know last time I got nicked, I sent
you round to lennie to borrow money?

- Yeah.
- The money wasn't for you, joy.

If lennie had given me the money, I would
never have done that last lot of jail.

Well, I didn't know that.
You didn't tell me.

The only straight policeman
you'll ever see

is possibly... the top man...

In england
or the ones on the zebra crossings.

All the other ones, with their moody blue
raincoats and their tough boots,

they're all bent, love.
The lot. From start to bottom. Bent.

They're bent on traffic offences.
You got money, they go bent.

It's like the housing list.
It's like anything.

People like stockbrokers
and all those people in official positions,

or in a position to handle
the public's money, they're all thieves.

All the mps, everybody. But they
make laws so they can't get nicked.

Not like us. We're the only people
who get nicked when we do anything.

Screws are the same as cozzers.
If I'd had a tenner a week to give a screw,

I could've had a bottle of whisky
every week.

The only thing you can't get in there
is a broad cos it's too big. That's all.

Everybody's bent, joy.
It's like this flat.

We had to give a few quid
to get this flat.

Plenty of people on the housing list
can't get a flat

cos they've got no money.
Everybody's bent.

- Hello, mr Jacks.
- You're early. Had a good week, then?

- Yeah. How are you today?
- All right, joy.

- There we are.
- Hello.

- Say hello.
- Hello.

- He likes you.
- He liked me last time, didn't he?

Oh, that's quite good.
That's very good. Don't you fancy her?

Yeah. They wouldn't be allowed now

to do a picture like that in Germany.

- Why's that?
- Well, they just passed a law, you see.

You can't... if you're gonna expose
your breasts in a photograph, you see,

you've either got to see both of them
or none of them.

- Really?
- Yeah. None of this business.

You can't have one out and one in.

You either have them both out or none.

- Why's that?
- I don't know.

I like the patter.

"Man is for woman made
and a woman made for man."

- They're right, ain't they?
- I bet she's been made a few times.

How can you tell?

She... I like her. What do you reckon?

Yeah, she's quite nice. She's got
a bit too much make-up on for me.

I think that's rather good, you see.
Poking them either side of the...

Of the wooden doings.

- Yeah, I suppose that's quite artistic.
- Yeah. Mmh.

I like that, actually.
What do you reckon?

Mmh. It's quite nice.

Yeah. How would you like to have
a bit of wood, anyway?

Oh, I think she's repulsive.
Look at that face.

Out the way. Out the way.

- That's the one.
- Oh, no, she hasn't got much.

I mean, iwould've thought
you liked them with, erm, you know...

Well, yeah, I do.
I know what you mean. I do normally.

It's a landmark in the dark.

What do you like about her, then?

Well, she looks in need of it, you see?

Oh! Oh, you are cheeky, aren't you?

You know, what I'd really like is
a nice flat in Chelsea. Have you got any?

Have I got any?
Well, I might be able to put you onto one.

Ooh, pardon. I might.

Yeah, well, it sounds
a bit more classy than this.

Sounds a bit poxy,
a flat in wandsworth, doesn't it?

- Where have you been, joy?
- I went to pay the rent.

- You went to pay the rent?
- That's what I said.

- You've been four hours paying the rent!
- Don't do that! Don't start all that!

Now, don't start all that.

Has he got a couch in that rent office?

- Idunno.
- Eh?

I haven't seen one.

What do you mean, has he got a couch?

You know what I mean!
Where's my tools?

- I haven't seen your tools!
- I want 'em!

- Now, don't you start! Don't!
- Sit down! I want my tools!

Don't start that with me.
I've had just about enough of you.

You're always having a go at me! I
come in this house, I do everything I can.

I'm not your slave! I'm not your...

Now get!

Now get down there!

- You gonna get down there?
- Yes, I am! I am! Don't touch me!

Get down there, then!

- Let me go! Don't hit me again, please!
- Let you go?

- Look, I'm sorry, love.
- No! Away! Go away!

- Don't go running to your old woman.
- Do you know what you've done?

- What have I done?
- You've hit me. You've hit me and...

- Look, I didn't mean to hit you.
- You've hit me and I might be pregnant.

- That's it. That's the finish.
- I told you never to lend 'em, joy.

'You see, he won't go.
He won't leave me.

'And I can't get rid of him
unless he gets nicked.

'If only I had a car,
I'd drive off and find a place

'where there are only men
and a few glamour girls

'and flashy cars and big hotels.

'But then I'd muck myself up talking.

'Cos I always get ballsed up
talking to the upper classes.

'Whoever heard of girls like me
making it?

'How can I go back to all this?

'Well, I'm not the same anymore.

'Oh, I can't stick this sort of security.

'I can't abear the thought
of all these women doing the same things,

'you know, mopping down their steps,
doing their ironing,

'changing their babies,
doing their shopping.

'Then there's another side of life where
the husband and wife are very happy.

'They don't have to dabble
in what it's like with other people.

'If I leave Tom, I'd be frightened.

'Cos I'm so frightened
of being on my own.'

Can I have a cup of tea, please?

'I suppose my life's over.

'Well, you only get one chance.

'I got a great pain
in my heart yesterday.

'I really wanted to gas myself.

'I've never felt that desperate before.

'Then again,
you read all this stuff in the papers.

'You know, the result of a broken home,

'delinquent, locked up, and all the rest.

'Well, I don't want my little jonny,
I don't want him to be a result of that.

'You know, the result of a broken home.
Cos that would be terrible.

'And that's why I'm trying.
That's why...

'If I could find a bloke tomorrow

'who loved jonny
as much as he loved me...

'...well, I'd go with him like a shot.

'Cos all you need is a man

'and a baby...

'...and a couple of nice rooms to live in.

'When you think of it,
that's all it comes down to.'

'...But generally dry.
There could be the odd showers...'

where's jonny?

I don't know.
I thought he was with you.

I told you
I wasn't taking him with me.

Well, I ain't your baby minder, darling.

- Oh.
- Have you seen jonny anywhere?

No, I haven't, love. I've had her in
for an hour, give her tea and everything.

- Oh.
- Don't know where he can be.

It's half past seven, nearly, you know?
Shh, love!

He might be down the waste ground
down there. There's a load of kids playing.

Jonny!

Oh, god.

Jonny, are you in there?

Jonny?

Are you in there?

Jonny?

Oh, no.

Jonny!

Jonny, are you over there?

Jonny? Are you in there?

Jonny!

Oh, my god!

Oh, jonny. Jonny!

Jonny! Oh, jonny!

Oh, jonny!

Oh, my baby!

Oh, my baby!

Oh!

Mummy thought, I thought I'd lost you
for ever and ever and ever.

What were you doing here?

- Are we gonna go?
- Yeah, we'll go now.

That's difficult.

I don't know cos I dream about it a lot,
but I really don't know,

if it came to it,
I suppose it's all big dreams, really.

But if anything happened to little jonny,
I suppose I'd become a brass.

Oh, is there any perfect life?
I don't think there is, really.

People go on about how happy they are
and what they got

and what a lovely home they've got
and they've got a new telly

and they've got new fitted carpet
in the lounge.

And I sit there and I think...
And I go on about it myself.

I'm always saying,
"oh, I want this and I want that."

But when you come down to it,

I don't think there is a perfect
life, really. You just gotta...

Make do with what you've got
and be happy.

Oh, all the time.

I can't even talk about it.
I always think of Dave.

Cos he... he brought out something
that was inside me

that I never knew was there.

I... you know, he was marvellous.

I think about him all the time. If I...

If I listen to a record or something.

It just...

You know, I just can't imagine he's not
here with me, cos it was so marvellous.

And it's terrible if you love someone.
Why should they be taken away from you?

But I just think of the time
when we're gonna be together again.

And I hope it's not too long.

Cos he was so different to Tom.

He was soft and warm and...

It was... it was fantastic.

With Tom, hejust, he's insensitive.
He doesn't...

He never asks me if I'm all right or...

You know,
he thinks that money is everything.

But with Dave, it was fantastic.