All language subtitles for Celal.ile.Ceren.2013.DVD5

# It was only me

# there was no you

# why be so scared of love...

# ask your heart this question

# why these problems with love

# break those chains

# and may it beat again

# you're here and gone
# you're intoxicated

# why be so scared of love

# are you the only one to get lost
# in the sea of love

# as for me, I lost myself
# in your breath

# the road is long

# dreams are short

# love is real

# is it love that's false

# you're the only one left

# who hasn't tasted love
# in this world

You're not going to that
bachelor party, Celal.

But one of my best friends
is getting married.

He's throwing a bachelor party
and you expect me not to go?

If I don't go to �iko Mehmet's party
I'll be a laughing stock.

Don't even think about it.
We've been together for 6 years.

You've never mentioned him once.
Who is this �iko Mehmet?

He's one of our group. An unassuming guy.
That's why you haven't heard of him.

What's the name of the girl this
�iko Mehmet guy is marrying?

The name of the girl...
They're keeping it a secret, Ceren.

Her identity hasn't been revealed yet.
Half of the invitation is blank.

- I swear he hasn't told us.
- Nonsense! That's a dumb excuse.

Look, Ceren, sweetie. I'm going.

I'll wish him the best, then come home
like a perfect gentleman.

If you were a perfect gentleman,
you wouldn't be going to Aksaray.

Don't push it.

Everyone knows about
the girls in Aksaray.

Everyone knows what they get up to.
Don't provoke me, Celal.

What's wrong with Aksaray?
We're going to watch performances...

...by light-skinned girls from the Balkans
and Russia who have a certain standing...

...who've had ballet training, know what
they're doing, and are really hot.

Then we'll watch two or three
belly dancers do their thing.

We might stick some money
in their cleavage, just to help.

That's how it's done.

If you go to that bachelor party
this relationship is over.

The end of"Celal and Ceren".
Get it?

- I'm going, Ceren.
- You're not going.

- I'm going.
- You're not going.

- I have to go.
- You're not going.

You're not going to that bachelor party.

- I'll go at 11:00 and come back at 1:00.
- You're not going anywhere.

- I'll go at midnight and come back at 3:00.
- You're not going.

Then I'll go at 9:00 and come back
tomorrow morning.

Look here. Stop it.
I'm going to smack you.

- Look Ceren, I have to go.
- You're not going, or it's over.

But, Ceren...

If you go to that party
you'll neversee me again.

Give me that transit pass.

Give me the pass at least!

Dad, look. My big brother's coming.

Where have you been?
You big lug.

Dad, there was an accident on the bridge.
Traffic was terrible.

What bridge? What bridge do you
take to get here?

How do I get here, Dad?
How do I get to Karak�y?

Do you expect me to go via Tarabya�st�?
I go along Barbaros Boulevard.

Zincirlikuyu feeds into Levent.
The traffic's always horrible.

- He's lying, Dad.
- Look, you've gonna get a smack.

Go inside. Get the equipment.
We're going to an installation.

- Have him come too.
- No, he has some business with me.

I swear, he really got on my
nerves this morning.

A bunch of guys going to Aksaray
for a bachelor party. Yeah, right.

We're talking about Celal.
Just let him go.

- What can he get up to in Aksaray?
- That's men for you.

You can't trust them. And they get
him to drink this thing called "rocket".

Afterthat, my boy totally loses it.

Those no-good friends of his get him
to drink it. It's his weakness.

- Then it gets dangerous.
- That's what I've been saying.

Are you thick orwhat?
What kind of friends are you?

I told my boss about it and
asked her.

"Can I go?"
"No, you can't. "

I didn't insist. I asked,
and she didn't let me.

Ceren's the one in charge.
Sorry about that.

I'm not coming. Go have fun.

Don't try to force me.
I'm tired, anyway.

What do you mean you're not coming?
How did that happen?

You make me sick.
You've turned into a total pushover!

Be a man!

Bang your fist on the table
and say, "I'm going out. "

Don't get me started!
Don't try to get out of it!

I've given 6 years to this relationship.
I can't spoil everything now.

I have responsibilities. Do you
think I'm desperate forsex like you?

What's that supposed to mean?
What's that?

- A ring.
- An engagement ring.

This girl's going to be my wife some day.
My life companion.

I have an idea.
Why not go without telling her?

That's right. She'll never know.
She'll think you're sleeping. Come on.

No, guys. Please.
I want to go with you.

I really do. And I'm almost ready
to let you talk me into it.

But please don't.

What are you up to?
Have your friends gone?

They're gone, gone, gone.

I'm all on my own, darling.

Good for you, sweetie.
You listen to your Ceren.

You don't make me repeat myself.

You don't go to nightclubs.

I could gobble you up.

I could gobble you up, too,
but... but... but...

...but there's a lot more
I'd like to eat.

My J-Lo lookalike.

My little baby, my cow, my pussy-wussy.

What do mean, cow? Celal?

I didn't say anything bad, sweetie.

You know I don't likejokes like that.
What's a pussy-wussy?

It was a compliment.

Okay. I forgive you.

Right, darling. My battery
is almost gone.

I'm telling you so you don't get mad
if you can't reach me.

Sweet dreams, then.

Okay, dear. Okay. Hang up now.

- You hang up.
- No, you hang up.

- Hang up.
- You hang up.

I'm not hanging up.
You hang up.

Hang up, Ceren.
Hang up, this is expensive.

Okay, Celal.
I love you. Good night.

Good night, baby. Good night.

That was a masterful performance.
I was great.

- Good for you.
- Bravo!

What did I tell you?

Way to go! That's my boy.

Off we go to Aksaray.

I'm telling you right now:
I don't plan to drink much tonight.

But this is my bachelor party.

- Right, the rocket shots have come.
- Oh, good grief.

- What's with all the shots?
- Come on, drink up.

- No, I can't drink. No.
- Tomorrow's Sunday. Are you nuts?

Come on, come on.
All together.

Hey, Kubi. Could you check my thingy?

- I'm talking to you.
- Okay.

- For God's sake.
- Drink up.

What do we say to another round?

Cheers! Cheers! Let's do it!

I don't feel so good.

Let's go, let's go

Darling, let's go

Let's get happy
and say "Oh my goodness

You damn scumbag.
I saw everything, you bastard.

You've ended everything between us.
It's over! You bastard.

Kubi! Kubi! Kubi! Kubi!

I saw my text messages
the minute I woke up.

Ceren sent 70 messages.
She swore in 18 of them.

And cursed me in 22 of them.

Try to calm down first.
You're a big guy.

The relationship I've been built piece
by piece forsix years is over.

Hey, I'm talking.
Try listening.

My fingertips are tingling
and my lips have gone numb.

And the most nerve endings
are here, and there.

Buddy, calm down.
Take a deep breath.

You're really screwed, brother.

Berkay uploaded all the photos
from last night to Facebook.

- What videos?
- The videos of us partying.

- Where'd he put them?
- On Facebook.

- On which Facebook?
- How many Facebooks are there, dope?

- Zuckerberg's?
- That's the one.

I'm done for.
It's all over. I'm toast.

- How could I do something like that?
- Come have a look.

Just look at them!

Ceren thinks we're at home asleep.
Can you believe it?

Can I tell you something?

I can't believe I've spent six years
of my life with Ceren.

I only spent six minutes with
these girls...

...and I swear life's better already.

- Get closer.
- How can I get any closer?

Am I supposed to walk through
one of the girls?

If this is a woman, what is Ceren?
Tell me. What is she?

I said her name. I shouldn't have...
I said "Ceren" loud and clear.

I'm screwed.
I'm totally screwed.

You can count on me.
We'll come up with something.

Okay? We'll decide on something.
We'll brainstorm.

I'm totally boned.
I swear.

Are you a total idiot?
Do you have shit for brains?

Is there a donut up there?

Is your hair red because you have
ketchup for brains?

Who films a booze-up like that?
Why?

It's the golden rule: What happens
in Aksaray, stays in Aksaray. Period.

How was I supposed to know?

Tatyana and Svetlana said, "this is great,
Berkay, upload the video. "

So I did. But I deleted it three
minutes later.

On the Intemet, everything spreads
like a virus.

Okay, he's an idiot. Ajerk.
A moron.

Why do you keep making me drink
rocket shots? You know I can't say no.

You did the same thing at my
engagement party.

Rememberwhat happened.
Think back to that day.

I'm full of thejoy of cutting the ribbon
forthe young couple.

I'm cutting it in front of you all.

We say, "In the name of God... "

Cut it. Cut it.

- It won't cut. What should I do?
- Just nick it. This is terrible.

- It won't cut. How can I cut it?
- Just nick it.

It won't cut. They brought dull scissors.

It won't cut.
The scissors are dull.

- Cut it, uncle.
- Shall I cut it?

What did you do?
What did you do?

You ruined everything.
Just look at that. Who'd do that?

- You should have said something.
- Ah, darling.

I could have given you permission to go.

It's over. You all chipped in
to end my six-year relationship.

But I deserve it.
Who was itching for it? Celal Manki.

What will Ceren do? She'll kick my ass
right out of her place.

So she kicks your ass and boots you out.
So what?

You're a grown man.
You can stick up for yourself!

Just look at you.

You're a Doberman that's tumed
into a poodle!

If I put a burning hoop here,
you'd jump through it.

That's how she's trained you.
I've never seen anything so pathetic.

I trusted you.
I thought I could depend on you.

I closed my eyes and put myself in
your hands, you animal. You dog!

- You ox.
- I open my eyes, and poof!

Where is he? Off to the Russians.
Who'd do something like that?

To someone like me? Six years
together, and he's my first boyfriend.

You know girls, I had my first
time with him.

Blah, blah, blah.

Is this how you'll set up a home?
Is this how you'll be a father?

Is this how you'll be head of the house?
You'll have a family to support. Afamily.

- You'll be a deadbeat dad, at best.
- You said it.

And he actually calls me and says,
"Honey, I'm going to bed now, okay?"

Are you kidding me? You must be...

We talked on the phone like
imbeciles every single day.

Idiot. How do I know he didn't
do the same thing every other day?

If Ceren's a woman, what are these?

God damn you.
Damn you.

And you've been engaged for
a whole four years.

What's he trying to do?
What kind of a jerk is he?

He's stringing you along.
He never intended to marry you.

Just drop him for God's sake.
He's playing you for a fool.

He has it coming.
Throw away the ring.

Throw away the ring, Ceren.
Just throw it away.

Celal, she doesn't respect you.

She pressured you.
She forced you to lie.

Then when you lied, she dumped you.

She pressured you, made you lie
and dumped you.

She's responsible for it all.
Don't you see?

If she'd given you your freedom
you wouldn't have lied.

You'd have partied and then gone
home. You didn't do anything wrong.

You're right, she pressured me.
She pressures me.

You can't go here, can't go there.
You can't do this orthat. Enough.

I was just having fun with my friends.
I wasn't doing anything wrong.

She made me lie. She left me no choice
but to lie.

And that's not all.
She was badmouthing Kahraman.

- She was trying to throw him out.
- She has a grudge against Kahraman.

It's him or me, she said.
Who'd say something like that?

Him or me? What's that supposed to mean?
Who'd get jealous of a bird?

I said, "Everyone goes,
but Kahraman stays. "

He's my baby.

He only says one word, and only once
every three months. He calls me "dad".

He was so lucky to go out with you.

Who does he think he is?
He'sjust some thick brute.

He sits there with two Moldavians and
says, "If these are women, what's Ceren?"

- Who do you think you are?
- Really...

...I don't deserve this.
I really don't.

- Anything there?
- No.

- You're exaggerating.
- What do mean, G�lce?

He wasjust having fun.
What's done is done.

He had fun with his friends, he
screwed up, and he went home.

- Wouldn't anyone have done the same?
- If course they wouldn't.

He can't. They're engaged.
They're planning a future together.

- Possible. You always contradict me.
- I just don't get it.

- Don't contradict me all the time.
- Hold on a second, girls.

What are you doing? You're all saying
something different. Be quiet.

You have to make the most
of this opportunity.

You have to turn it around.

Tell hershe can't dump you
because you're dumping her.

Pop that zit. Grin and bear it.
Pull that scab right off.

You have to dojustice to the
testosterone running through your veins.

Whip it out and shake it.
Show them what you're made of.

You've gone all limp.
You've tumed into a doormat.

Is that any way to live? Huh?

Do you know the story of Sultan S�leyman?

He almost took over the world.

Then he ran into H�rrem Sultan.
See, it's always a woman. Do you see?

And what about Helen of Troy?

The Trojan Warwas fought over her.

Empires clashed! People died!

There was famine! They froze on
the battlefield. All because of a woman!

The Huns were split over a woman.
It's always a woman!

Czechoslovakia broke apart.
Awoman ended Czechoslovakia!

What would I do all alone?
What would I do if I were single?

Czechoslovakia, I said!
Who are you?! What are you?

I'm asking you to think it over.

You're right. I'm sick of it.

I'm going to run forfreedom,
like Kunte Kinte. Enough already.

I've had it up to here.
It's Hakuna Matata from now on.

That's it. One-night stands from now on.

- Anything that moves, gets it.
- That's the spirit.

She corralled me into marriage,
step by step. Like the riot police.

She had me up against the wall.

I don't want any of it. Screw marriage,
screw the engagement, screw it all.

I took it off. Look.
Look at the ring.

- I threw it away and now I'm free.
- Way to go.

Oh. I feel light as a feather.

Just watch what I do next.
I'm going to call and say it right out.

- Call her. Go on, call her.
- Don't call her. She won't answer.

Just see what happens now.
Watch what happens next.

Aha!

Did you see that?

He's calling me because you didn't
pick up, the bastard. Should I answer it?

- Answer it.
- Don't.

- Answer it.
- Don't.

- Should I answer it?
- Answer if you want.

- Yes, is that shithead Celal?
- Don't curse at me.

I'll put another bump in that nose
of yours. Put Ceren on the phone!

Just a second.

Hello?

I don't feel good.

Hello? Ceren?

We've been togetherforsix years.

And while we've gone through
some tough times...

...I think we've had some great times too.

And I also think we fit together
like Feng Shui.

Like Yin and Yang. And as a result
of that unfortunate incident...

...the other night, I want you to
know that I've grown and...

...I've made some decisions. I don't
think there's any point in you...

...wasting yourtime any more either.
We've reached a new stage in...

...our relationship, and I think it's time
we moved on to a new level.

Marriage. He's about to propose.

I think we have no other choice, Ceren.

Let's move on to a new stage...
Let's take thejump together.

Meaning?

- "Meaning," she says.
- A new season and fresh hopes.

A new season and fresh hopes.
What I'm trying to say is...

- United we stand.
- United we stand.

- We are the champions...
- We are the champions. Come on, guys.

- More cushion for the pushing...
- More cushion forthe pushing.

- Damn you to hell.
- Celal, are you making fun of me?

No Ceren, ignore that last one.

Ceren, what I'm trying to say is,
will you go out to eat with me?

No. No!

Yes. Alright.

Okay, we'll grab a bite. I'll be
waiting at that place of ours.

Come by yourself. Okay?
Bye then. Bye.

- You should be ashamed of yourself.
- Boo!

What do you mean, boo?
Just go and don't look back.

You melted at the thought of
marriage and a ring, didn't you?

Don't you have any pride?

Oh! Freedom!

Celal, you were great.
You spelled it all out.

Free at last.
Everything's okay now.

Freestyler.

Hit and run.

Hit and run.

My dear Ceren, first of all, I wish to
welcome you.

As you know... I invited you here.

Wait for him to go.

Come on.

What are you doing?
Do you expect me to say something?

I'm pouring some water.
I'm almost done.

You poured water on our conversation.
Now get going.

- Sorry. Bon appetit.
- Get going.

Anyway, Ceren, let's start
where we left off.

Ceren, I want to say we've had
six wonderful years together.

We've come a long way.

Thanks to your self-sacrifice
and my self-denial...

...we've had some great
times together.

Through tears and laughter.

Until that dark day.

On that dark day, you made
me tell a lie. You pressured me.

- Me?
- Yes.

You threw me into the arms of
Olga and Helga and Svetlana.

- Celal.
- You helped release my inner being.

- Don't be ridiculous.
- You unleashed my subconscious.

And thanks to my idiotic friends
you accidentally found out what I did.

And you asked me for a reckoning.
I find that unacceptable.

- You made me lie...
- Me?

Yes. You made me, Ceren.
I'm calling your bluff...

...and flinging it in your face.
I'm leaving you.

I've left you. It's over.
It's over just like that.

Hold on a minute.
Are you breaking up with me?

- Yes, right now.
- You invited me here to break up?

Yes, I invited you here to break up.
Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

- Off you go.
- Who the hell are you? You rat bastard.

Who do you think you are?
Who?

I can see how right I was.
You've turned all ugly.

- You're a pig.
- You're so revolting.

You ox! You're the one who's
reduced me to this.

- You're disgusting.
- You've done this to me!

- This is for you...
- Damn it.

- What's all this?
- You're disgusting. I'm spitting poison.

- Get rid of your poison somewhere else.
- God damn you.

- Stop spitting.
- It's a waste of spit.

- Get lost.
- God damn you.

- Stop cursing me here.
- God damn you to hell and back.

Go on, then. Curse me.
Do you think your curses will work?

If God loved you, would he have
created you like this. Stumpy.

- Stumpy?
- Yeah, stumpy. Go.

- Damn you, Celal.
- You have the stature of a dwarf. Now go!

- You're a worthless piece of shit.
- Leave a 20 for the tip.

- Damn you.
- Leave a 20!

Sorry.

If I'd proposed, there'd have been
screams of joy.

I break up with her, she screams
bloody murder. That's life.

What's going on? You've been
staring at us all night.

Look at him.
I did the right thing.

If he'd done the right thing he'd still
have all his teeth and hair on his head.

He's sitting there like a giant
shriveled up colon.

I you put him in a body bag nobody
would think anything of it.

You've finished him off for good.

And two, three, four.

I'm waiting on the island shoreline

Hey, hey hey.

Make me rejoice

I'm asking for your hand

Really, I'm so happy.
I feel at peace.

- And on the very first day.
- You feel lighter, don't you?

- You feel free and easy.
- Oh, you bet I do.

Now wejust need to find some fresh
meat and dip ourwicks.

- Count me in.
- The color's back in his face.

I swear, the color's back.
Just look at you.

Hey. Are they looking at us?

Of course they are. Do you see
any other alpha males here?

They're looking at us.

I got all rusty the last six years.
Look. First minute, first goal.

We're flirting with girls.
I don't believe it.

- Why wouldn't we? Are you crazy?
- Are they really looking at us?

- They are, but...
- I'll make contact.

Wait. They're pay to play.

- Pay to play?
- For hire. Mercenaries.

- Don't be ridiculous.
- It's obvious, they're streetwalkers.

Saying something like that about
two Istanbul girls from good families.

You can see the purity of their
hearts and souls in their eyes.

Two innocent virtuous girls.

Stop smearing people. Enough of your
pigeonholing.

Pay to play?

Let's toast, my dark-haired darling.

Let's drink every night,
my dark-haired darling.

You know, I'm so happy right now.

Hanging out with a different
girl forthe first time in my life.

What's that? "Black Pepper"?

That's the one.
"Black Pepper" on my first day of freedom.

- Do you want the blonde orthe brunette?
- It doesn't matter.

- Tell me.
- The dark one's a bottle blonde anyway.

Guys, just so you know.
It's 500 euros a head.

Then screw till dawn.

I don't want any problems later.
You'll have to pay in advance.

- 500 euros for some tail.
- We'll keep them working till dawn.

- I don't have that much on me.
- Gentlemen, are you ready for some fun?

Since I didn't know yourtype...

...I prepared a mixed assortment
for us all to share.

- What?
- What have you done, Ay�eg�l?

Spell out "Narcotics"with them
and take a photo of us in front.

- Come on.
- I've never seen anything so disgraceful.

You're classy girls.
What are doing here?

I defended you in front of my friends.
You're putting me to shame.

Enjoy life, Celal.
You're all ours tonight.

I'm going to smack the one
who said, "enjoy life".

- Get rid of those.
- Celal.

We're not that kind of guy.
Take them away.

Please, take them away.

- A-ha!
- Police! Surrender!

I don't believe it.
Not another raid?

Okay, hold on. Just a second.
Don't panic.

Someone complained about the noise.
I'll talk to the cop.

Commissioner, what do you mean,
drugs? We don't do drugs.

Send it to ballistics.
It's got nothing to do with me.

Why'd you go there then?
For hookers?

No. Let's not call it that.

Just some messing around.
We werejust hanging out.

You big lug!

Welcome, Dad.

I'll let you off this once.
Forthe sake of your father.

I better not see you here again
forsomething like this.

I understand, Commissioner.
I'll be back for otherthings.

Now if you'll excuse me.

Are you eating fruit, Celal?

Apples are good for you. You know?
Cherries are really good.

Cherries are good right up to the stem.

Don't drink any soda, son.
It's terrible for you.

Watch out for gene food.

They say everything modified
these days, Celal. It scares me.

We've been talking about this for
days, even at the baths.

We have to think about gene food
everywhere we go these days.

Celal, your relationship with Ceren
is the best thing you've done.

You're no good at work.
You don't have any skills.

You don't play any instruments... What
happened to that violin I got you?

You threw it out, didn't you?

You don't have any skills, son.
You run around like a scamp.

But you have Ceren. I'm thrilled that
girl will be a part of our family.

She's a sound, strong, no-nonsense girl.

She'll keep you in line.
She'll know how to run a household.

Mother, Ceren and I have split up.

Celal, I never really liked her anyway.

Insolence was written all over her face.

There was something rough about her.
Like a day laborer.

If you hadn't separated, I was
planning to break you up myself.

I could have done it, just like that.

Do you know what my grandmother
used to say?

Beware of girls whose asses
are close to the ground.

- Mother, please
- Okay, okay.

Forget about all that.
I'm here for you.

I'll find you a nice girl.
I've got someone in mind.

Mom. Mom.

I just came out of a six-year relationship.

I'm not ready for anyone new.

I want to be single
and run with the hit squad

I'm going to play the field.

What's a "hit squad"son?
I don't get it.

I mean, I want to be a young gun.
On my own, take aim and fire.

You should see her, son.

We had a women's day at the baths
last Sunday.

That's where I saw her.
Melahat's daughter.

Ah, Celal. You should have seen
the way she walked in.

That long, blonde hair.

That alabaster skin.
Aface radiant as the moon.

Can you imagine it, son.

The way she washed
herself at the basin.

If you saw those breasts.
If you saw those thighs.

Those legs. Slender as a spear.

That tiny mouth. Her lips
like a cherry.

Can I tell you something?
Girls with tiny mouths...

- Mother.
- ... are no big grumblers, son.

I adored her. She'sjust the girl
for my Celal, I said to myself.

I was swept away.

The perfect girl for you.
Don't miss out on her, Celal.

Okay, mother, I'll meet her.
Where is she?

She works at a pizzeria. Her name's Hande.
You can pick her up there.

- Hande?
- Hande. Such a lovely name.

- Alright, mom.
- Thank you, dear.

At last, Celal. My wishes have come true.
With God's blessings.

Alright.

Welcome.
How can I help you?

Excuse me?

- Hande?
- Pardon me? Who?

Hande?

No, I'm Merve. Hande's inside.
She'll be right out.

Hande, come quick.
Look who came.

Ah, Celal.

Hello. Pleased to meet you.

Your mother mentioned you.
She said you sought my hand.

I came to get two pizzas.
What are you up to?

- She can watch the register. Come on.
- They meet at the baths every week.

She told me about it and
I agreed to meet you.

- Bye-bye, sweetie. See you.
- Have fun.

Celal. Celal, wait for me.

Celal, why aren't you waiting?
Why are you acting like this?

Have you evertried it like this?
You fold it up like a wrap.

Then you eat it. Want some?

No. Finish eating and let's go.

Can I ask you something?

No, you can't.

What's your favorite sex position?

Missionary or doggy style?

Didn't I say you couldn't ask me anything?
Why are you talking dirty?

What's wrong? Is it a turn-on?

I think everything should be talked
about openly in a relationship.

What relationship? What do you mean?
You're talking nonsense.

Eat your pizza and let's go.

- You're sweet.
- Thanks. Thanks.

Slow down.
You'll choke.

You'll choke. Go slow, lady.
Eat more slowly.

Get up.

Oh no!

She died right in front of me!
Come quick. She choked.

What should I do?

I know I should do mouth-to-mouth,
but I really don't feel like it.

- My man, my Celal.
- What are you doing?

No! What are you doing?

- My Celal.
- Good grief!

Get back! I swear I'll sock you
in thejaw!

- Masher! Masher!
- Sister, I didn't do anything.

- What are you talking about?
- She's a young girl.

- Grab him!
- What are you doing?

You beast!

Kahraman! What's wrong, boy?

Something's wrong with Kahraman.
He passed out three times today.

Why didn't you tell me?

Look at this, his
stool is dark blue.

He usually craps dark blue
when he's sick.

And it's greenish-white when he's
Getting better.

We've got to take him in right away.

Get me a box or something.
Have you found something? My boy.

I'll take him in like this.
And get me some newspaper.

Don't forget to give him
the drops from the vet.

Yes?

Kahraman isn't feeling well.

- If you can heal him again...
- We will. What is it, a cat?

- No.
- A dog?

- No.
- What is it?

A crow.

Celal Manki?

That's me. Have we lost Kahraman?

No, he's fine. He's undergoing
a minor procedure.

- Don't worry, he'll be fine.
- Oh, thank God.

Aren't you Auntie Asuman's son,
Celal Manki?

- Yes.
- Do you remember me?

No.

We spent a few holidays
together at Aktur.

You had a broken leg the last time.
Do you remember?

A broken leg?

Yes, that's right.

- Selen.
- Selin.

- Selin.
- Selin.

- Selin. How's it going?
- Fine.

You haven't changed a bit.
You've grown a bit. You're curvier.

- You haven't changed at all.
- Thanks. I try to keep in shape.

- How are your parents doing?
- They're fine.

You know, my mom's getting on.
She's got varicose veins.

She wears support hose. Really tight.

She pulls them way up,
practically to her belly button.

She looks like an ice cream cone.

Spilling out of those hose.

Come here, I'm going to show you
something funny. Come to my office.

- Look who's here.
- Oh my God. Just look at that.

- Berkay and Kubi.
- And who's that?

- Timur.
- Ah.

Do your see your parents there?
And my aunt.

God your aunt's ugly.

- No, she's not. My mother...
- She's got a big mole on her cheek.

- Who's Ceren?
- Ceren? Who?

This came out of your crow's stomach.
"Celal and Ceren" is written in it.

- Oh, that ring doesn't belong to me.
- What? Isn't your name Celal?

I'm Celal, but it's not mine. Even if it
was mine I don't know any Cerens.

I don't know anyone named Ceren.
Which means the ring isn't mine.

- Then whose is it?
- Your mother's.

- Pardon?
- Uh... my grandpa's.

It belongs to my grandpa.
It has great sentimental value.

- Then Ceren is your grandmother.
- What are you, a census worker?

Give me the ring and I'll go.
It's important to me.

Grandpa was a womanizer, I guess.
He handed out rings.

Mind your own business.

Don't hire people like that.
It's bad forthe animals' psychology.

The girl I'm about to bring here...

...is going to be my wife one day.

I've fallen in love.
Head over heels.

Love at first sight. I saw her...
I was smitten.

I felt all chumed up, butterflies,
just like you said.

And you even know her.
You know her, just wait.

- We know each other?
- Get ready, I'm bringing her in.

Come on, dear. Keep them shut.
- I am.

I'm wondering what you'll do.

Come on, come on. Stand right there.
Don't open your eyes. Ready?

- I'm ready.
- Go on, open your eyes.

This is Selin. Selin from Aktur.
She's become a veterinarian.

She took care of Kahraman.
Made him well.

- How are you, Selin?
- Hello, Timur.

- Bar��.
- How are you?

- How nice.
- It's been a while, hasn't it, Selin?

- What a coincidence.
- How are you, Kubi?

- Fine, I can't complain.
- Celal, I've got to get going.

I really must go.
I've got two operations tomorrow.

No, please sit down.
Have some chicken with us.

- I've got to get to bed early.
- Oh, please.

- I've got to get to bed early.
- Then I won't insist.

- Right? No insisting.
- See you later, guys.

Let me walk you out.
Come on, I'll walk you out.

We can sort this out with a modem,
and eight splitters.

I'll send it with Celal.
Bye. Thanks.

- Can I tell you something, Celal?
- Go on.

- You know Selin from yesterday?
- At the word "Selin" I get all funny.

I screwed her.

- Screwed her how?
- We screwed like bunnies.

Like bunnies?

You know the summer you
broke your leg. At Aktur...

...I took her up to the attic of
Perili Manor and screwed her.

What kind of guy are you?
Damn you to hell.

I had a broken leg that summer
and was laid up at home.

My poor mother invited you
to dinnerten times.

- None of you bothered to drop by.
- Yeah but we...

I know what you're here for.
Who'd take a girl to Perili Manor?

- Bye, Celal. See you.
- Bye.

- How's it going?
- Why'd you come slinking in like that?

- I've something to tell you.
- Go on.

- You remember Selin, who came yesterday.
- Yes, I remember her.

Hejust told me.
Bar�� did.

They did it.
I know.

He's lying.
Bar�� and Timur both came on to her.

She ignored them, of course.
I went to the machine room of the pool...

...and had my way with Selin.

- In the pool's machine room?
- Yes.

I was young. The blood was
pumping through my veins.

I was young too!
I was young.

I had a broken leg. I was a cripple.
And I was young too!

What kind of guy are you?
My poor mother...

...invited you to dinner all those nights
and you never came.

I ate all the beans and watermelon
all by myself.

Now I can see
what you were all after.

One of you took herto Perili Manor,
the other to the machine room.

Couldn't you find anywhere else?
What the hell is wrong with you?

- Anyway, I'm going.
- Go. Go.

I'll spell it right out.
You'd betterstay away from Selin.

That summer, over on the rocks,
we really got it on.

I'm going to lose it.
I'm going out of my mind.

If one more person comes in here
and says they screwed Selin...

...I swear I'll hang myself from the ceiling
with a piece of cable.

No, this can't be. You screwed her too?

What are you talking about? You asked me
to pack up Ceren's things.

What am I supposed to do with them?

Ah, what a relief.

I could handle the others,
but not you.

I couldn't have handled you.

Have it delivered express.
Send it off.

And let that be the end of it.
The end of that problem.

- Okay.
- Is that all?

Celal, get your equipment and tools.

You're going to Dila Han�m's villa in
Tarabya. You're installing a network.

But Dad, I've got work here.
I'm about to ship some cable.

Do it quick.
Get yourstuff and go.

- Have that mutt come with me then.
- No. He's got some work to do with me.

You always send me to make house calls.

I do all the work.
That mutt just sits here.

You put "General Manager" on
your card, but just look at you.

Yes?

I'm from Manki Cable Electronics.
You have an installation.

Ah, I was expecting you.
Come right in.

- Should I take them off?
- No. Come right in.

How long have you been
doing installations?

I've been doing it for 7 years.
I'm still new at it.

My boss was a real master.

He's actually my dad. Manki Cable.
My boss is my dad.

He can lay it like no one else.
At his side, watching him at work...

...holding the other end
if he needed it...

...I learned the tricks of the trade.
What I mean is...

...what I have is the youth my dad
doesn't, and the enthusiasm...

...agility, speed, can-do attitude
and dynamism that youth brings.

Just lay it down the best you can,
that's all I ask.

Right.

Let's get started.
Where exactly do you want it done?

Come along. I'll show you.

Come on.

God help me.

How's it going?
Is it getting any easier?

Yes it is, ma'am.
I stretch the cable from here...

...right towards this corner. Here...

...under the bed...

Ah! Ah!

- Ma'am, what are you doing?
- Lie down!

- What are you doing, ma'am...?
- Lie down, I said! Lie down!

Alright, ma'am, I'm laying down.
Please calm down.

Sister, what have you done?
What kind of outfit is that?

Show me how you lay your cable.

I lay cable.
You misunderstood.

We can talk this over like
two civilized people.

Let's sit down and talk.
Oh! Oh!

Scratch me.

I have trouble doing it even
in normal conditions.

- How I am supposed to do it here?
- Say, my white ass.

- What? My white ass?
- Say, my white ass.

- My white ass! My white ass, okay.
- Say, meow.

Meow! Meow.
Meow. Enough already.

- Say, lay me.
- I'll lay you, sister.

Just put that down.
Let's talk it over...

...and someone will get laid.
Please put that down, sister.

- I've got a whip phobia.
- Okay. I'm putting it down but...

- ...I brought this.
- Damn. What the hell is that?

I'll blow you away.

No, sister. Not that.
I don't like that either.

Please.
Is that a blender?

Who has sex with a blender?

Okay. I'll put it down...

...but I'm putting this over your head.
- What is it with all the toys?

Damn you.
And I'm all tied up.

Please don't.
No. Take that filthy thing away.

Please! Who knows who wore it.

No, stop it.
Haven't you got a husband?

Goddamn woman!

- Good day, ma'am. Ceren Sars�Imaz?
- Yes, that's me.

- You've got a package.
- Who's it from? What package?

Let me see.
Celal Manki.

Damn him.
What's he sent me?

What could that bastard be sending me?
What's he sent after all that?

We're not authorized
to open packages.

But the word "bastard" implies
there's been a separation.

Old belongings tend to get sent.

- Good bye.
- He sent it COD.

That'll be 47.90.

He must have decided to screw
you one last time.

He sent it COD.
That dickhead.

- What did he send?
- That loser. All my stuff.

- Here it is.
- The jerk.

Open it up.
What's in it?

Asweater.
Slippers. A hair clasp.

What's this?
What's this?!

This isn't mine. Why's he sending
other women's underwear?

Have I got underwear like this?

With butterflies, the idiot.

Is he trying to rub it in?

- Okay, calm down.
- Why should I?

- What are you doing, Kubi?
- What do you think?

- Did you sort it out, son?
- No, Dad. She didn't let me.

She wouldn't let me touch a thing,
and said she wanted my experienced dad.

- She said my dad should lay it.
- She's a good customer.

- I'll go sort her out.
- Sure, she's a good customer.

And such a welcoming hostess...

...so eagerto serve and please.
Such a good person.

Would you believe it, she was all over
me? You really should go.

- Fine, I'll go...
- Go and screw...

- What?
- Go and screw the cables down.

- She's got this amazing entr�e.
- Okay, I'll handle it.

- Did you send it?
- Yes.

There's a problem with the mother board.
The RAM's burned out.

We need RAM money.

I see, RAM.
How does RAM bum out?

Did you sit on those
RAM's?

It came with 250 GBs.
I got you another 32 GBs.

We salvaged 8 GB from Cemal's
old computer.

That's 290 GBs of RAM.

MIT doesn't even have that much RAM.

- I'll top you up at 300, but that's it.
- Okay.

What I feel right now is
something like disappointment.

I want him to suffer.
I want him to grovel like a dog.

We'll kill him and
play with his corpse.

So... What shall we do?

I've got an idea.
I'll torment him. The dog.

So, girls. Your problem is
attachment and tying the knot?

That's right, M�jgan.
A knot. Like a noose.

- Who's been wronged?
- Her.

Me.

- Have you got a photo of the dog?
- No. I tore them all up.

I've got one. I brought it
just in case.

- Hand it over.
- Dog.

This ragdoll is him.

First a curse,
to dry up all his luck.

So he can't meet anyone new.

And it all goes wrong if he does.
- Amen, sister.

Do you know what I want?
Awhole lifetime with you...

...full of smiles and laughter.

First get that parsley out of yourteeth.
That's no way to talk to a lady!

Don't look at me like that.
Go rinse out your mouth.

Where you'd get that T-shirt?
It's nice.

What T-shirt?
You're looking at my boobs.

- No, I'm crazy about fabrics.
- Pervert. You're all the same.

You're all perverts.

Some like brunettes,
others like blondes.

I like them light-skinned,
like you.

Do you think you can say just anything
just because we're having a drink?

- What are you talking about?
- Are you looking at my boobs?

- No, I'm not.
- Are you looking at my boobs?

Pervert!

The first thing I notice in a woman
is her eyebrows.

Yours are amazing,
like twin gliders.

What's that supposed to mean?

Did you just goose me?
Have you no shame?

What do you mean, goose?
My hands are up in the air.

Don't lie.
I felt it.

- He did it.
- No, you did. Pervert.

Are you all crazy,
you're all smacking me.

Can you let me get off?

We've dried up his luck.

Now we can come at him
from the other direction.

- What do you mean?
- We'll get other men to want him.

Have you got nine-inch cable, sir?

- What kind of cable?
- Athick nine-incher.

No.

- Have you got a 12-incher?
- No.

- Have you got a 15-inch cable?
- Here you go, sir.

What's up, fag?

What's going on?

Hello. How are your oranges
today, Hasan?

Never mind my oranges, Celal.
Let me give you a peach.

A nice, smooth one at that.

Hasan, what are doing?
And at your age.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

What's that?

- What are you doing?
- You give me goose bumps.

What are you doing? Go.
- Hey handsome, want to go get a tea?

- What are you talking about?
- Please? Just a cup of tea.

Get out of here. I don't want any tea.
Just get out!

You're sure you haven't got any cable?
Bye-bye.

Is there a protest somewhere?
They keep coming one afterthe other.

Is there a parade or a procession
orwhat?

Okay girls, we've done a lot.

Shall I curse his very being now?

- His very being?
- I mean his everything.

Uncle Murat, as you know, Ceren and I
were togetherforsix years.

And it just ended.

I expected to run around
sowing my oats.

But there's nothing. Nada.

Like it's been cut off.

Sliced right off.
I can't believe it.

What used to be hard as a
hatchet handle...

...is now like a dead fish.
A leaky balloon.

I tried everything.
My friends all gave me advice.

I rubbed it with bleach.

I soaked it in ketchup.

I stuck it in the vacuum cleaner
for 5 or 6 hours.

When it turned purple I took it out.

I shocked it with batteries.
One at the tip, one at the base.

Nothing. No signs of life.

Okay. I understand.

It's completely psychological.
Look at this.

Primitive man. The problem
goes all the way back to them.

He lives in a cave with his family.

Here, he's going out to hunt.

He kills a deer and brings it home
to his woman in the cave.

They eat theirfill.

Then they hit the sack.

- Ah...
- You see...

Every man has a cave.

A place where they feel safe.

- Right.
- At the same time...

...they have a woman...

...with whom they feel safe.
- They do.

You don't have a cave
or a woman.

That's your problem.
Do whatever you can...

...to get one of those women
into your cave...

...and make love to her. Only then
will your dead fish wriggle back to life.

I see.

Murat, I've only had
two women so far...

...and I just broke up with Ceren,
So she's out of the question right now.

I'll have to find my
first love, Sibel.

If she's worthy of entering your cave...

...she'll do.
- She's worthy.

Now, I'm going to give you
a special syrup.

Take one capful one hour
before sexual relations.

Don't take too much.
It can cause loose bowels.

- I take it orally, right?
- That's right. Just one capful.

Or you'll get loose bowels.
A single capful.

A capful.
What do you mean, "loose bowels"?

It's better known as "the runs".
- Okay, Murat.

This is very difficult for a man.

There's no need to be afraid.
Murat is always at yourside.

Thanks. But there's one thing.
Don't tell anyone...

- I won't, son.
- Please, it's really tough.

I understand. Alright, Celal.
You can trust me.

Okay. Here goes.

This will make it easier.

Why not take two more capfuls.
So it's certain to work.

Here we go.

You haven't changed at all.
Flesh firm as ever.

- Makes a nice smacking sound.
- Don't do that.

- Don't.
- Don't.

Come on, let's do it.
- Do what?

- Let's get started.
- Started with what?

What do you think?

You're being naughty.
Don't, Celal!

I'm ticklish.
Please.

- Did you make that sound?
- I think so.

Is there a monster inside you?

You know my outside monster too.

You animal.

Celal, you might as well take a dump.

What kind of noise is that?
I've never heard anything like it.

I wonder if I caught a chill.

Never mind. I'll fart my way
through sex if I have to.

Stop it, I said.

- I feel awful.
- What should we do?

With this pain I can't hold it in.
It's going to come out.

- Don't you dare.
- It's going to run down my leg.

Don't.

- I'll run off to the toilet.
- Alright.

Don't touch me. It makes me
have to shit even more.

God! It's coming.
Oh no.

What's this? What's this?
Sibel! Sibel!

I forget to tell you.
I'm redoing my whole life...

...including a new bathroom.
- Where do you go to the toilet?

- My neighbor...
- Where do you shit?

My neighbor's, Auntie T�rkan. Run.
That's where I go.

It's starting.

It's going to run.

Open up, lady!
Through the hall, T�rkan!

Coming through!

What are you doing?

They say it goes away if you get scared.

That's hiccups!

How can the need to shit pass?
Do you think it disappears?

I shit myself!

So much for caves and women
and my first woman.

It smells like a sewer out here.

Pardon me, Auntie.
- Son, you're a grown man.

You should be ashamed of yourself.
And at this age?

When people get the urge they
go to the toilet...

...and do their business.
Come in and get cleaned up.

I'll give you my late husband's pants.

Get inside. Go on!

What are you doing running around
like a madman?

Sorry, I'm going through
a really rough period...

...and I won't play clown for you.
Leave me alone.

I've got some bad news.

I'm already in the shit. Go on.
Tell me.

Ceren is going out with some guy
named Baturalp.

I'm serious. I saw it on Facebook.
They're posting on each other's walls.

Herstatus is "In a relationship".
- We're talking about Ceren here.

Would Ceren do something like that?
- Come see for yourself...

...and don't blame me. Come on.
- Are you kidding?

- Why would I kid you?
- Are you kidding?

If this is a prank,
I'll be pissed off.

See. In a relationship.
That's her page.

Go back. With Baturalp.
Do you see that?

So, Baturalp is screwing Ceren.

Watch your mouth!

She's still yoursister-in-law,
even if we broke up.

What do you mean "screwing"?
That's no way to talk.

I'll smash your head into the monitor.

He's taking herto dinner.

Taking her to dinner?

Now I really feel like shit.

Mood swings can do that.

Your body's full of adrenaline
right now.

Going to dinner, huh, Baturalp?

Then Baturalp taking us to dinner too.

I'm not dropping this.
I'm going to that dinnertoo.

- Are you coming with me?
- You know I'm with you all the way.

I'd do anything for you.

Let Baturalp compliment us
on our skirts too.

Let Baturalp buy us dinner too!

- Are you coming?
- I'm coming!

Come on, get up.

It's such a nice place.
- Do you like it?

- I love it.
- Allow me to say something.

With you, it's even nicer.

Thank you. That's very kind.

Welcome, gentlemen.

We don't feel well at all.

Not at all.

What kind of lowlife are you?

What kind of lowlife?

What kind of lowlife?

Smarmy bastard!
What kind of lowlife?

- Step outside.
- Outside.

Step outside.

I'll tum that blazer into a T-shirt.

I'll tum that blazer into a onesie.

- Me?
- You, you.

Is there another smarmy bastard here?

- Come outside!
- Any other half-ass aristocrat here?

He's ratting to the waiter.
He's trying to scare us.

Those two hoodlums
are disturbing me.

- I wonder if you could throw them out?
- Of course, Baturalp Bey. Immediately.

Oh, we're so scared.

Celal?

Ceren, this isn't about you.
Tum back around.

- Celal, could you leave?
- Turn round, Ceren. It doesn't concern you.

- Excuse me.
- Sir, is there a problem?

Sir, please behave yourself.
Baturalp is an important patron.

I'll be forced to throw you out
if you go on like this.

Stop waving your arms around.

- Fine, sir. I apologize.
- Alright?

Our patronage isjust as important
as Baturalp Bey's.

So don't go poking your nose
into everything.

Okay, brother? You're a fine fellow.
All dressed up.

Now go get me some carapacheo.

Then we'll leave without making trouble.

- Perhaps you meant carpaccio?
- Perhaps you meant carpaccio.

- Right, sir.
- Go on.

Hey! Salt shaker!

Are you ratting to the waiter? Huh!

I'll make a romantic drizzle.

- Celal.
- I've got lots of spit.

I can spit long range.

- Don't worry about them.
- He's such a jerk.

- Really...
- Look at them now.

Kissing hands!
You think we're pimps, or what?

- Sir, please.
- Hand kissing and all that.

You'll have to leave.

- Are we pimps?
- Celal?

Kissing my girlfriend's hand
right in front of me.

You think we're pimps?

Let go of her.

I apologize to everyone.

It's a love thing.
Sorry about that.

I couldn't sock him in thejaw,
So I'm still mad as hell.

Just drop it.
You scared him. Let's go.

- Okay then
- I should have socked him one...

...and then I'd feel better.
I'm not going anywhere right now.

Don't be silly. The guy's scared.
Come on.

That's the same guy, isn't it?

It looks like him.

Good day, brother.
- Good day. Yes?

- Are you Felicio?
- Federico.

- What?
- My name's Federico.

- Are you going to play in there?
- Yes.

Get another poster made.
Some naked leg is showing.

And pull up your socks.

There's something I want to ask you.
Something I've got to sort out.

Let's take a little walk.
I've got something to ask you.

How do you manage this
music business?

Well, first I rehearse with my friends.

- We look for the right sound.
- Right.

Ceren, where'd you find a jerk
like that?

I'd never expect that of you.
Really.

I don't know whether to take
your going to dinnerwith me as...

...an insult or a compliment.
None of it makes sense to me.

I'm sorry, but that's that.
He's a real jerk.

That's enough. Please stop.

Whatever.

I'm not going to waste this dinner
talking about a useless jerk.

- To your beauty.
- Thank you.

Good evening, Istanbul.

I'm Federico Valerio
Delvez de Garcia de Valerio.

This is a great group.

- I have no mother and no father.
- Especially the soloist.

Federico Flemenco.

I came into this world alone,
in a favela in Barcelona.

Neglected by God and the angels.

Within him burns the...

...undying flame of the Mediterranean.

Middle-aged women know it well.

Okay, men, don't get angry.

Middle-aged men know it well too,
I might add.

I will begin the night by
greeting you and mingling.

Off we go.

Hello, blonde lady.

Welcome, Baturalp Bey.

How are you, sir?
Do you recognize me, bastard?

- Celal, what are you doing?
- Here, take this wig.

And the mustache.
It'll make you look a little like a man.

I'll see you later.

Good evening. Enjoy your dinner.
Let me get that.

Come here. Come here.

What are you doing here?

I wanted to talk to you about yesterday.

Talk about what? Get up.
The customers will see you.

- I'll get fired.
- I'm not getting up.

Did you kiss that guy, or not?

- What's it to you?
- Tell me, Ceren.

Tell me, or I'll take a dump right here.

I'll drop my trousers and squeeze
one out right here.

- Really?
- I'll stink the place up.

You're disgusting. I make a living here.
Get out of here, you idiot.

Did you kiss him or not?
- What's it to you?

- Did you kiss that guy?
- What's it to you?

I don't have to answer to you.
You have no place in my life.

What do you mean "no place"?
Did you kiss that dickhead or not?

- We didn't kiss.
- Tell me the truth.

You're lying so I don't get mad.
Tell me the truth.

We kissed. We kissed like crazy.
Okay?

We kissed for hours.

- Happy now? Okay?
- You're lying, Ceren.

How could you kiss him?

How could you do that?

You're killing me here.
I kissed him, she says.

She says they kissed.
Damn it, they kissed.

Look at him. He's going nuts.

How could you have kissed?

- What's that idiot doing?
- He's gone crazy.

How could you kiss him?
How could you?

You should be ashamed.
Shame on you.

- Did you really kiss him?
- No. We didn't kiss.

I lied to drive him crazy.
He's really taking it hard.

- He's going crazy.
- Crazy isn't the half of it.

- He's gone on a rampage.
- He's running around like an ox.

Watch your mouth.

She says they kissed.
Damn the lips that kissed his.

You're so cruel.

That idiot Kubilay
drank it all.

Right when I need it most!

My heartache won't heal.
This won't be enough.

It's not enough.
I need something stronger.

Like. Like...

Like cologne. Ceren brand cologne.
Damn it.

This cologne's called Ceren.
80 proof.

Are you up for 80 proof?
I am.

I sure am!

Did we blow a fuse?

Is there a blown fuse?

Is it dark in here?

Is it dark?
Is there a blackout?

Who's authorized to order
a blackout?

Musa?

I'm stuck here.
Musa.

Could you take a look?

Why are the lights out?

It's pitch black. Musa?

Can anyone hear me?

Where are the stairs?

The lights are on. Now they're off.

They're on. Off.

On. Now they're off.

Sir, how's your arm?
Is the cast itchy?

Thank you, how are you?

Fine, sir. What about your arm?
How's your cast?

- What cast?
- On your arm.

Why'd you put a cast on my arm?

There's a fracture in your elbow.
And you dislocated yourshoulder.

I wish you a speedy recovery.

Speedy... look.
Cologne changes everything.

Everything gets mixed up.
I'm looking at you right now.

One of your eyes is over there,
and one's over there.

One's crooked
and the other's slanted.

Your teeth are pointy.

And your ears are droopy.

You're such an ugly girl.

You look like Yoda. Yoda.

From Star Wars.
That's how I see you...

But this eye...

...sees everything blurry.
And this one is clear.

I can see with my right eye,
but it's blurry with my left one.

Because you drank calogne
and nearly blinded yourself.

Not calogne,
cologne.

You drank cologne
and nearly went blind.

True. But those who drove me
to drink should be ashamed.

She kisses some guy and then
tells me about it.

How can I bear it?
What do you think I am?

Let's go.
Are we done here?

No, sir. Not yet.
You fell down the stairs.

- You hit your head.
- I'm not insured.

- You're under observation tonight.
- I'm not insured, I can't stay...

You have to stay because you're
under observation.

Okay.

Okay, you can go.

Get well, buddy.
Is your heart broken?

Yes. I'm heartbroken.
I drank cologne.

I fell down the stairs.

I have a cracked elbow
and a dislocated shoulder.

I know that pain, brother,
that terrible pain.

Is that "smelly" tattooed on our arm?
- What do you mean, smelly?

It says, Shelley.
My old girlfriend.

Shelley wasn't my first love,
but she was my last.

My love for her is seared in my heart,
and carved onto my body.

Only Shelley
can judge me.

Great. That's wonderful.

Congratulations. Kubi?

I'm starving, Kubi.

And my mouth's dry. Can you
get something from the canteen.

Sure.

See what I did?

Fake out.

I'm getting a tattoo, too.
I'm going to write "Ceren" across my heart.

- Hello.
- Hello. Welcome.

Take my coat, would you.
Brother.

I want to carve the name of
the woman I love across my heart.

- I'll take care of it.
- Right over my heart.

- Consider it done.
- I'm going to prove my love forever.

I'll take care of it.
She'll love it.

Ma'am, did a guy with an arm
like this pass this way?

Yes. He went that way.

- Where?
- That way.

Quiet. The phone's ringing.

Write what you want here.
Make sure there's no mistake.

- I'll get everything ready.
- Okay. Thanks.

Where are you? I'm waiting for you,
sandwich in hand.

I went for a walk. Awalk.

You've all screwed me over
and I'm taking a walk.

- Where did you go?
- What's it to you?

I need to tell you something.
I saw you as a brother...

...a real brother.

But you're not my brother.

You're a prick.
- Where are you?

You ran off with a broken arm!
Where'd you go?

You know what you are,
I'm writing it down...

...you're a big asshole. Assholes.
I'm writing it down.

Asshole. Assholes!

I'm underlining it.
Ass.

I'm underlining it again
so you get the message.

Give me your coordinates
so I can find you.

Where am I?
Just a second.

Tell me what you can see.

There's a window. Awindow.

- What kind of window?
- Awindow and lights.

- Tell me what you see through the glass.
- There's a man here.

Are you thinking straight? Never mind
the lights. Tell me about the street.

Hang up. I've had enough of you.

- Put it right here.
- Are you ready?

- I'm ready. Right here.
- Where should I put it? Show me again.

- Right here.
- You have to take this off.

I can't. I have a broken arm.
Idiot.

- Then we'll cut the T-shirt.
- Cut it here.

- Here we go.
- Cut it here, right here.

Calm down. Relax.
I'll sort it out.

- Cut it straight.
- I'll manage, don't worry.

Straight. Overto here.
- Calm down.

Over to here.
That's enough.

Calm down.

- Put it right here.
- We'll do a no. 10.

- Are you ready?
- I'm excited. It's my first time.

I'm uncovering it.

What does it say?
- Whatever you wrote down.

- Does it say "ass"?
- You wrote "ass".

Who'd write "ass" on their chest?
Are you an idiot?

Has anyone ever asked you
to tattoo "ass" across their heart?

You wrote "ass" on that
piece of paper.

- I did what you wanted.
- So you just tattooed what I wrote?

Yeah. That's what you wanted.

- I should have written your mother's name.
- Leave my mother out of this.

- I wish I'd written her name.
- Leave her out of this.

If wrote a phone number would you
have written that? Like a fast foodjoint?

- That's enough. Get out of my shop.
- Oh really?

You write "ass" on my chest,
then tell me to get out.

You wanted it. Get out.
- And you call yourself an artist.

- Get out of my shop.
- You have hair like a sheep.

I'll rip your denim shirt off.
Yourfaggoty denim shirt.

- Don't touch me.
- Act like a man!

- Don't touch me.
- Act like a man.

I have a broken arm!

- Get out of my shop.
- I'll show you!

Stop it!

Just look at my face.
Damn you.

Can't you think for yourself? Has anyone
ever wanted an "ass" tattoo before?

I just don't think about it.
Drop it already.

Enough! You gave me a headache.

I swear I'm going to flip out.
Who do you think you are?

I'll break your other arm.

Hi.

She found somejerk.
They were flirting.

Like she was rubbing it in.
And she said they kissed. How could she?

It's terrible what she's done.

Metin, don't take this the wrong way,
but you really need a shave.

You can't run around with stubble.

Have some respect for your art.

Celal Mankie, you can go.

See you later.
Let me leave you this.

Take care of yourself.
Nice to see you all.

Thanks. See you.

Just look at me.
I've disgraced myself.

I broke my heart and my arm.
And all because of you.

We gave you some advice.
You broke up with her on your own.

- You tossed away your ring.
- What do you mean?

Didn't you cheer me on?

Leave her. Leave her. What was all
that about six years?

What about Czechoslovakia
and the Huns?

- So now it's ourfault?
- Of course it's yourfault.

Didn't you say the Huns had a queen?
You made all those comparisons.

- Fine.
- You ruined my life.

I've been cursed ever since
I broke up with Ceren.

Look at me. Now I understand.
I know I can't live without her.

Who else would put up with me?
Who would put up with me?

- Who'd put up with me?
- So you've wised up now.

Then you'll have to do something
to win her back.

I will. I'll win her back.

I left her, and I lost her.
And now I'll win her back.

Then show her how much you love her.

- That you won't make the same mistakes...
- Don't give me advice.

Ceren! Ceren!

See? I "heart" love you.

But the "U" is behind the bush.

Get lost. They'll all talk about me.

I'm so sorry. Come down here
and let me kiss you.

Go away. Stop it.
This is getting embarrassing.

I'm shouting it out.
Allah!

I'm in love with you!
Ceren, my love!

Have you no shame?
Don't you have somewhere to go?

I called the police.
They're on the way.

Show some respect for love.
Ceren, please?

He ran that way!
A paint and run.

Stop! Don't try to run away.

What were you thinking,
painting like that?

- You need to be more gentle.
- Gentle?

- Ah. Champagne.
- Champagne?

Surprise!

- What are you doing? Asshole!
- G�zde!

- Damn you.
- What happened? Did he hit you?

Why are you doing this, Celal?

Why do you hurt everyone?

Why are you always trouble?

I spent a fortune. Getting you
champagne was wrong too.

Idiot.

We need to think of something
more original.

Something that's visually stunning.

A Russian choir
Something visible from space.

Acrobats, singers and dancers.

Something with all the surrounding
buildings. An explosion of energy.

We need something more showy.

- Lasers.
- Lasers?

- Lasers. It's a lady thing.
- Right, for epilation.

Women and lasers go together.

Dearfriends, welcome to
the event this evening.

Come on, it's ready.
- Come on.

First, I hope your enjoy your meal.

I'm here to cry out my love for Ceren.

Yes, the laser show is beginning.

Look at the supervisor.

First comes the fireworks.
Light it.

Light it, light it.

- Celal, don't.
- Ceren, I love you. Three!

Two! One!

It must be the wind.
Why aren't they exploding?

Keep sailing, Captain.

Good God!

We'll be back with you soon.
Enjoy your dinner.

Go back to your appetizers.
That's it.

Good moming. You're beautiful today.
Is Ceren here?

Ugh, Celal.

Just a sec. Don't close that.
Don't make me do something.

- Go get Ceren.
- Ceren's not here.

- Where's Ceren?
- She's on vacation.

- On vacation?
- They went to Bodrum.

"They?" With her mother?
- Nope.

- With herfather?
- Nope.

- With who then?
- With Baturalp.

- With Baturalp?
- They're on their way to the airport.

- You can catch up if you run.
- Which airport?

Sabiha G�k�en, 4:40.

Damn it.
What the hell are you doing?

What are you doing?

What do you think you're doing?

Was this your motorbike?
I have to get to the airport.

They're taking away my girlfriend.
I'll bring it back.

Whose bike are you taking?
Who said you could have it?

Whose bike are you stealing?
- I'm not stealing anyone's bike.

- I'll bring it back.
- Who said you could? You're stealing.

Why would I steal it? I'll bring it back.
Why'd I steal your crappy bike?

- I'll bring it back.
- What do you mean?

It's stealing. Who do you think you are?

You're a jerk-off.
Get off that bike.

- Why are you cursing?
- Because I'm cursing.

- Try to understand.
- Understand what? You thief.

- What are you doing?
- Get off that.

- Who head-butts with a helmet?
- Get off.

- Off what? Off what?
- Get off it.

Take your motorbike then!
Get lost.

- Get out of my face.
- All this over a bike.

- Get out of here.
- Jerk-off.

- Stop showing off.
- Screw you.

Hi, ma'am.
4:40, Istanbul-Bodrum.

I can't stand the sight of blood.

You could have told me
before you fainted.

You could have said something.
Who's in charge here?

Nuray Han�m, could you please come over?

I'm sorry, sir.
How can I help you?

What is it, sir?
I need to make the 4:40 Bodrum flight.

We don't have a flight like that.
You could take the 9:00 to Antalya.

Why would I fly to Antalya?

I said Bodrum. Why would I fly to Antalya?

4:40 Bodrum, check it please.
- Nothing, sir.

- Nothing?
- Nothing.

Then check the computer.
- I'll check, sir.

- What do you want me to check?
- 4:40, Bodrum.

There's no flight scheduled today.

- My friends are taking it.
- There must have been a misunderstanding.

You can't do this to me!

Try to calm down.

- Hello, Celal?
- Hello, G�zde?

I'm at at the airport.
They say there's no such flight.

I brought flowers.

- Why are you laughing?
- Of course there's no flight.

Do you think this is a
romantic comedy?

Where the pilot stops everything
and lets a passenger off?

And you run toward each other
in slow motion?

And sweating bullets, you're reunited with
your Ceren, you moron?

You idiot.
Get me some perfume from duty-free.

Say hi to the pilot.
I kiss your double chin.

You're in for it now...

I'm going to bust your nose.

Who'd do a thing like that?
I'll sock you in thejaw and...

...snap that skinny body in two...

- You're horrible.
- That's the way to show him.

Why do I have to talk to her?

Look, they're coming out.

There she is. She's coming out!

Ceren!
- Ah, Kubi?

G�zde, go ahead. I'll come.

Ceren, hi. I like to get to the point.
You know that

- What's wrong, Kubilay?
- He's in terrible shape.

Worse than you can imagine.
His life is ruined.

We've been friends since childhood.
I can't just leave him like this.

But he's an idiot.
What can you do?

Look, Kubi. He's using you too.
Keep out of this.

It's not like that.
I'm here because I want to be.

If ourfriendship means anything
to you at all...

...please, meet with him
for five minutes.

Not outside. You never know
what he'll do.

We'll go eat, all together.
You can talk everything over.

Oh, Kubi. I really don't know.

Let me think it over.
Okay?

- Bye.
- Bye.

Bon app�tit, Ceren.

It's interesting. Rice and anchovies
have an aphrodisiacal effect on me.

All my suppressed sexual urges
come out.

Isn't it true?

- Who made it?
- I did. I hope you enjoy it.

Ceren's a good cook too.
Aren't you, Ceren?

How is it that everything a man could
want can be found in one woman?

How could her genetic map
be so perfect?

You're the last word in womanhood.

- I adore you.
- Really, Celal?

- Let me ask you. Really?
- Really, Ceren.

Get going.

Time to go, please.

- What is it, Celal?
- An anchovy's caught in my throat.

Go on inside.

I want to see the room of the woman
who made such a great meal.

Why not?
Let's go have a look.

- G�zde.
- There aren't any surprises.

Are you still upset?

Do you want some stuffed vine leaves?

Lettuce?

- Eggplant?
- I don't want any.

Mixed pickles?

Babaganush?

Okay, Ceren. What I did
was terrible.

I realize that.
I was an ass.

But I never really wanted to do it.

I don't want to hurt you
or anything else.

I love you.
I love you so much.

Everything I feel in my heart
is for you, Ceren.

It's all about Ceren.

That'sjust the way I feel.

We go together hand in glove.
We were made for each other.

Do you understand?

I feel like I've known you since
the first time I opened my eyes.

Do you understand? Like
we didn't meet in college.

It's like you've always been
a part of my life.

You know, like...

...like Serena and Venus.

Like the Klitschko brothers.
Like Siegfried and Roy.

Do you understand?
They understand each other without speaking.

One makes the tiger disappear, the other
makes it reappear.

We have something like that.

Do you understand? I mean...

Sometimes I buy puzzles.
I like doing them.

500 pieces. 1000 pieces.
5000 pieces.

Imagine a 5000-piece puzzle.
Really huge.

I keep doing the puzzle,
but I can neverfinish it.

It's missing a piece.
I'm going out of my mind.

I can't find the piece.

But you can't complete
the puzzle without it...

...and that tiny piece is the most
important part of the puzzle.

Do you understand?

The most precious piece.

If life's a big puzzle...

...if my life's a puzzle...

...you're the most precious piece
of the puzzle.

You're the most precious piece
of my puzzle.

I'm sure everyone has experienced
the same thing.

Definitely.

Everyone has a Ceren.
Do you understand?

And my Ceren is you.
Do you understand?

- Celal.
- I'm not crying, okay.

Go wash your face and come back.
Talk to me like a man.

Don't cry. Please.

Okay.

- What's going on?
- I don't know.

Is it what I think it is?

- Are they kidding with us?
- Oh my God.

Let's boil some water, open the door,
and throw it in.

Don't be ridiculous.
Are we separating humping dogs?

Let's go in together. You grab
G�zde and I'll grab Kubilay.

- You're an animal.
- Right.

Shut up, silly.

We have an announcement to make.

We've decided to get married.

You must bejoking.
Is it the anchovies? What happened?

- It's too soon.
- G�zde, are you crazy?

Yes, I'm crazy.
I'm crazy in love.

Are you sick or what?
Don't make me sorry I brought you.

- How'd all this happen?
- I was smitten by her eyes.

By her cooking. We went inside.
We humped and humped.

I saw the light.

Oh!

Oh!

- What's going on?
- What do you mean?

- What are you doing here?
- What are you doing?

- I'm having breakfast.
- Is this a breakfast room?

Is this a sex room?
You have a bedroom.

Go to your room and do it.
Do I have to watch you?

I can see your boobs.
Cover up your boobs.

- Sex-starved.
- Do I have to ask you to have sex?

We'll make love wherever we want.
We're married.

If anyone is the third wheel here, it's you.
Don't you get it?

You shouldn't hang out with
newlyweds for so long.

It's time you started looking for a
place of your own.

You think you're a man now cause you
found that broad? Are you kicking me out?

That's not what I said. But it's time
you started looking.

Shame on you.
You should be ashamed.

You're my Kubilay,
my blood brother...

...and look what you're saying.
How could you?

I don't believe my ears?

Where can I go? Can I live at my
dad's at my age?

What would the neighbors say?

Go stay with Ceren.
She's here now. Ceren lives alone

- Go stay with her.
- Shame on you.

- Stop agitating.
- Shame on you.

- Stop agitating.
- Shame on you.

Yes?

Why are you treating me like
a door-to-door salesman...

...aftersix years together?
- Celal, what is it? What do you want?

They threw me out.
"Go away," they said

"Don't come back", they said.
"We're honeymooning,"they said.

They sneaked up on me in the middle
of the night, stark naked.

They abused me sexually. They won't
even let me have my morning comflakes.

- Then go stay at a hotel.
- Who'd take me and Kahraman?

Aren't there any crow-friendly
hotels in Istanbul?

What's it to me? Stay at your parents'.
Why have you come here?

How can I go back home
after 35 years of age?

What do I care? Go stay with one of
yourfriends from the bachelor party.

One of them can take you in.
Go on!

They're all animals, Ceren.

I'm going through a rough time
and I need some tenderness.

All I get from them is guy talk,
and all that.

What I want is tendemess.

Warm skin.
Asoft touch.

A kiss.
Nice boobs.

- You're disgusting.
- Excuse me.

Get lost! There's no excuse.
You're shameless. Get lost.

I haven't seen you forso long, Ceren.
I've had two wet dreams.

You're a total pervert.
Really.

Just a second, Ceren.
I've made a decision.

I'll consider you my sister until I
cross this threshold.

- Let me stay, sister.
- You're disgusting. Get lost.

- Get lost!
- Then I'm not going anywhere.

I'll live right here.
On a 30-square-centimeter doormat.

I'll snarl at whoever passes.
I'll eat all your food deliveries.

You can choke on them
for all I care!

Hold on. You're not slamming
the door that easily.

- I'm not falling for it.
- Just watch.

Right in my face.
- Just watch me.

Slam it then, can you?
Slam it then.

Just like that, Ceren?

Ceren?

Stop it, Kahraman.
I'm at the end of my rope as it is.

You could have given us some water.

He's thirsty, and so am I.

At least put a bowl of water
outside the door.

Whatever, we'll go listen to some music.

This is an apartment building.
Keep it down, guys.

What are you doing here?
You've hit rock bottom.

Ah, don't ask, guys.
I really have hit bottom.

She won't let me in.

- That's terrible. You're locked out?
- Yeah. Like an abandoned dog.

You see that?
Like a little stray dog.

- And he has a bird.
- Should we take him in?

- Please let me.
- Let him come. We'll have a party.

- Come on, let's go.
- Come on.

- Where's your place?
- Upstairs.

Right up here?
- Yes.

What's going on?

Where'd you find him?

I was young once, but never like this.

The downstairs neighbor's come.
Sorry about all the noise.

Celal, what are you doing here?
What are you up to?

We're having a party.
We're dancing.

Ceren, please take him in.
He's so cute. The little darling.

And he loves you.
He told us all about it.

I could eat you right up.

- Sure.
- Wow.

Celal, gather your things.
Girls, tum down that music.

Celal, don't do anything stupid.

Get downstairs. Come to my place.
Tum that music down. I'm going to bed.

Come on.

Thank God.

There's no place like home.
I swear it.

It's so peaceful,
so cozy.

I even missed the way it smells.

Hang on a minute.
Just a second.

I don't want that bird in my house,
okay?

Never. Put him out on the balcony.

Ceren, how can I put Kahraman
outside in this weather?

He's a tiny thing with a little soul.

Celal, it's warm outside. Enough of
your nonsense. I don't want him here.

That's what I mean. It's too hot.

He's all black, and the sun will beat
down on him.

He'll absorb all that sunlight. A beak
is all that will be left of him.

Oh, poorthing. How upsetting.
I don't care. I don't want him here.

- It's my apartment.
- Fine then.

Okay, Kahraman, we're not staying
where we're not wanted.

I'll sort things out somehow.

Secondly, just because I let you in
don't try any funny business.

Any attempted rubbing, petting, pushing
or penetration and...

...I'll tear it right off.
- I can't do anything?

- Nothing at all.
- Cuddling?

- No.
- Spooning?

Never.

I didn't let you in here because I have
feelings or anything...

...but because I had to.
To stop the neighbors talking.

The whole building and all the neighbors
will be talking about me.

Don't forget to open the lid when
you use the toilet.

Take a shower after I leave.
I don't want to see it.

Don't go anywhere near the kitchen.

Do what you want. Clean up after yourself.
I don't want to see any of it.

No coming into my room,
or even the next room over.

Okay? Sleep or pass out here.

Just don't touch me.

God bless you.

Just give me a greased truncheon
to stick up my ass.

Celal, you're disgusting.
Here's a blanket.

Get that bird out of here.

I have a bird for you.
Just you wait.

You're disgusting. Good night.

- Princess.
- Celal, get out

- Get out.
- See this?

You're not allowed in here.
- But just look at this.

- I don't care.
- Oh, oh, oh.

I said I don't want it.

Celal, I don't want it!

I can't believe it.

I really can't.

I have to go to work.

What have I done to serve this?

Get out! Get out, I said!

You'll love it, Ceren.

You'll love it, Ceren. Look at the table.
It's a work of art.

- I made you dinner, Ceren.
- Celal, but I...

Okay. I know how pleased you are.
Come take a seat.

This impresses all the women.
- I have to go out.

I promised to go to dinner.
- Who'd you promise?

They're picking me up. They're here.
Did you make the bed?

- Where are you going?
- Bye-bye.

Where are you going?

Who's picking you up?

Is it that bastard Baturalp again?

Has Baturalp come to get you?

That bastard Baturalp!

Aren't you ashamed to hit on
other men's wives and girlfriends?

There are 24 million people in this city.
Why are you hitting on my girlfriend?

Bastard! I broke a guitar over your head.
What else should I break?

Celal, what are you doing?
- Just a second, Ceren. Stand back.

- Stop it.
- No, Ceren. Get back.

You pushed me over the edge.

- I've totally lost it.
- I don't believe it. Dad! My dad!

- What are you doing?
- Sorry, Mehmet.

Enjoy your dinner, Mehmet.
I trust you're well?

Get in. Let's go.
- Good evening.

Hey! Where are you going?
- My apartment is on fire.

- My apartment. My boyfriend...
- It's on fire. Don't you see it?

It's full of smoke.
Where are you going?

My boyfriend's inside.
- How can you save him?

Are you going to put out the fire
with your bare hands?

- Yes, Celal!
- Wait. Hold on a second.

- Who's your boyfriend?
- Celal. He' a bit heavy. And tall.

A tall guy twice my size.

I saw him. I got him out.
Nobody touched him. Don't worry.

- Is he alive?
- He's alive. Now get out of here.

Thank God. Bless you.
- For God's sake.

Why isn't there any water?

I'm going to stick this in my
mouth and blow myself up.

I swear I've had it.

Celal?

- Get away.
- Spit it all out.

My poor lamb.

What happened, Celal?
How'd this happen to you.

I nearly died, Ceren.

God must have saved me

After working so hard all day...

...I nodded off the second my head
hit the pillow.

Oh, you poorthing.

Then I heard, "Caw, caw!"
Kahraman woke me up.

That animal told me to get up
and save my skin.

Get up, he said.
- I don't believe it.

That's so touching.

I got up.
There was smoke everywhere.

I couldn't see a thing.
I couldn't breathe.

Oh no, it's a nightmare, I said.

Then a man with a white light
came up.

A little guy, knee-high.

It's a miracle, I said to myself.
Follow that man.

Well, he slung me over his back
and we went out the window.

Now I'm here, breathing oxygen.

It's unbelievable, Celal.

What's that?

My lungs are whistling.

When I saw the apartment on fire,
I was so worried, Celal.

If anything happened to you...

...I couldn't go on.

Darling.
Spit, darling.

Put on your bathrobe.

Put on your bathrobe.

Aren't you ashamed to sit like
that in front of your sister-in-law?

She stuck that thing on your chest.
And a collar around your neck.

- What kind of couple are you?
- What's wrong with us?

Your clothes for a start.
Just look at yourselves.

Okay, it's a fantasy thing.
But she's dressed like the devil.

I don't know what
you're supposed to be.

A gardener.
It's obvious.

- Look at the gardener.
- I don't believe it.

Whatever.
You can go use our bedroom.

Why would we use your bedroom?
We have our own room.

I redecorated your room.
It's a hobby room now.

That's why I suggested our room.
- Celal, come on. Let's go inside.

Just a second, Ceren.
I'm not going anywhere.

I arose from the flames, rebom.

A tiny fireman gave me
a new lease on life.

I can't sleep in their room, Ceren.

Who knows what's in their bed?

There might be a corpse.

- Enough already.
- There could be a horse's head.

Sheep intestines.
We could find anything.

A dildo. Avibrator.
Who knows what we'll find.

Okay, Celal.

They can sleep inside.
We'll stay here.

Okay. G�zde, we'll sleep here.
Thanks. We'll use the couch.

Fine then. Sweet dreams.
- You too.

Look
- Ugh.

They thrust it in our faces.

It's unbelievable. Really.
Anyway, good night.

- Where are you going?
- To bed.

- Sleep here.
- Why should I sleep there?

- Come over here.
- No, dear.

- We can sleep here together.
- Celal, no.

Do what you want then.
I'm not going to keep trying.

I've been rebom.

- Go tum off the lights.
- You turn them off.

- Tum them off.
- You do it.

- Tum them off.
- No, you.

- Look.
- Tum them off.

- Look.
- Tum them off.

Why won't you turn off the lights?

Celal. Stop it!

Sleep over here. There's room.

I'm coming over to you.

So, is marriage going well?

What do you mean, well?
It's the best thing I've experienced.

I wish I'd done it earlier.
- Tell me about it.

Just because you're an old friend
doesn't mean I can tell you everything.

Of course not.

Some details can be shared,
others can't. Right?

- Of course.
- Let mejump right in.

Marriage is about free sex.
That much I can tell you.

Your sister-in-law and me
get naked three times a week.

Completely naked.
All day long

We take a break only to eat and pee.

I shouldn't say this, but last week
I slipped it to her something fierce.

You're tuming my stomach.

I could see you at it.
I'm eating and I feel nauseous.

Marriage has done me good.

I've got to admit something.
- Go on.

We're old friends. Who can I tell
if not you?

Ceren and I have decided to get married.
It's final this time.

I'm going to propose.

If you didn't, I'd call
you a jackass.

I want it so much, you know?

But I want something different.
Like on the Internet.

Proposing while parachuting
or underwater.

I really want something interesting.

Right. I've got some ideas.

But I want something
simpler and more permanent.

We should do it, Kubi.
We should make it succeed.

Of course we will.
We'll do it. Have no doubts.

Yes, Ceren.

In front of the place from which the
Ottomans ruled their 7 nations...

...here, in front ofTopkap� Palace...

...I want to express my love for you.

Ceren, just like that hopeless
seagull up there...

...I found my love under your
wing and in your arms, Ceren.

Ceren, in this masterpiece in which
I express my love for you...

...let's start with a reenactment...

...of the day we met.

Let's all watch it together.

Celal and Ceren.

Watch what you're doing!

I'm so sorry.
You seem alright though.

Just look at me.
I'm all wet, don't you see?

Play football somewhere else.

I'm terribly sorry.
How can I make you forgive me?

Can you get me another milk?

Of course. I'll go to the stand
and get one right away.

Maybe we'll have a sandwich together.

There's always a silver lining.
This accident brought us together.

- My name's Celal. What's yours?
- My name's Ceren.

Nice to meet you.
You're so beautiful.

See you later.

He seems like a sweet boy.

There's something deep in his eyes.

The ball hit just the kind of girl I like.

And to you I say:
I...

...love you, Ceren.

I love you. See,
C "heart" C.

That's right, Ceren. One of our
biggest problems...

...was Kahraman.
I want to say something.

This dear creature I've fed
and looked after for years...

...is now free. Okay, Kahraman.
Sorry about that.

I've got to set you free.
She doesn't like you.

Fly straight that way and you'll
reach Manyas Bird Reserve.

You can do what you want there.
I'm releasing him.

Just one last kiss.

Ah!
- Celal.

Get back! Take my hand.

Kahraman! Kahraman! Celal!

What happened?

Ceren, I think I have now...

...proven how much I've changed.

My love for you...

...is the most important thing...
so I set Kahraman free...

...and was attacked,
as you just saw.

You saw it with your own eyes.

Even at the risk of losing my eyes...

...I declared my love to all Istanbul.

And now...

...last of all

...I want to say I love you.
I love you.

I love you!

I have a proposal.

Will you marry me?

I thought it over.
It's my final decision.

I'm absolutely sure.

Ceren, here in front of everyone...

...looking into your eyes,
I want to say it.

Will you marry me?

Thank you. Just a second.

Yes, but on one condition.
- Tell me.

I get to have a bachelorette party.

That's awful. You've comered me.

Only if you agree.

All right then. Do what you want.

I'm only kidding.
Yes!

We'll share a home

you for me
me for you

as created by God.

Come say "yes" and let's be happy.

We'll share a home

you for me
me for you...

...as created by God.

Is everything ready?

Right, the rocket shots are here.

- That a boy.
- Just a second. I want to say something.

Get your shots, everyone.

Friends, you see.

Kubi got married.

You're still single.
This guy got married.

We all joked about it.
But now it's my tum.

We chased after our hearts.
We chased after our loves.

We did the right thing, but a little
voice is still saying...

"Don't do it, don't do it".

But I will. I will.
Because I love Ceren.

Cheers.
I hope it works out for us all.

Knock it back.

- This is great.
- These rockets change everything.

There's one more thing.
I have one last request.

My last request as a bachelor.

The bachelor party we were
unable to have here...

...will be held in Aksaray, just like �iko's,
one week after the wedding.

Let's organize it. I'll put Ceren
to bed andjoin you.

- Okay?
- Okay.

- Great idea.
- We've got to do it.

- We'll definitely do it.
- The same bunch, and the belly dancers.

- Will belly dancers come?
- Of course.

And those same girls.

You bet they'll come!

Right!

Right!

Kahraman's come.

I don't believe it.

That unlucky beast did
it right on our marriage license.

It's nothing, Ceren.
Don't worry.

I'll wipe it off.
- Don't let it touch my veil.

It's fate, fate.
It means prosperity.

- Celal.
- It's nothing, darling.

3. 2. 1. Action.

Picture.

I'll come like so...

Just picture it.

Drassed like so.

Drassed lake so.

Ta-da. With my bare hands, I'II...

I swear I'll take a poop,
lower my drawers and do it right here.

Did you kiss or didn't you?

I'll lower my drawers,
and squeeze one out right here.

I swear I'll do it. Don't laugh.
- I'm sorry, I'm really sorry.

- You weren't on the bike when I got here.
- Hey!

Keep going.

Come over here.
- Smack me softly.

Can I try it once?
- Try it.

Just like that.

He goes into the kitchen all dressed up.
He takes a shower.

He sprays aftershave all over.

Like a real gentleman...

He chops everything into pieces.

Throws it into the frying pan to cook.

Aubertine?

Aubertine?

Aubertine?

I don't want anything.
I don't want any aubertine.

They said they wanted to enjoy
their sex lives to their hearts' content.

They threw me out naked.

Thank you so much. You may as well
put a couple of hooks in the ceiling...

...and hang me up by my nipples.

- Where are you going?
- I'm going to sleep here, Celal.

Let's sleep together here.

- Don't be silly. Why should I sleep there?
- Come sleep with me.

- Let's sleep here together.
- Don't be silly.

Come here.

Oh, Celal.

- I'm going to change my mind.
- I'lljoin you.

Should I come here?
Homs are honking.

Truck drivers are celebrating.
Homs are honking.

Don't laugh. Let's do the scene again.

Don't laugh.

Stop it. Don't laugh.

Once again.

He made me laugh.

Once again.

You don't need to press so hard.

Cut.

# Rise, sun
# Give me new breath

# rise, sun
# Give me new desire

# rise from the same place
# but don't set in the same place

# keep rising, sun
# give me a new love

# rise, sun
# give me new breath

# rise, sun
# give me new desire

# rise from the same place
# but don't set in the same place

# keep rising sun
# give me new love

# be my light
# Illuminate a new path for me

# warm me
# put color in my pale face