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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:16,118 Morning, Gordon. 2 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:19,163 Nice day, huh? 3 00:01:28,673 --> 00:01:31,842 Hurry up, Bucky. Jeez, slow poke. 4 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,971 I'm going as fast as I can, Clint. No fooling. 5 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:37,515 I see you're trying the Cool Ranch Doritos today. 6 00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:42,353 You spoke so highly of them, I figured I'd give them a whirl. 7 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:45,648 They should be their own food group. No fooling, they're that good. 8 00:01:45,815 --> 00:01:48,025 Tell her your life story, why don't you? 9 00:01:48,192 --> 00:01:50,903 No, I was just commenting on the Doritos. 10 00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:52,363 Are you sassing me? 11 00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,031 No, no, he was just... 12 00:01:54,198 --> 00:01:57,535 He don't need a lawyer, Mrs. Bozobop. 13 00:01:57,702 --> 00:02:00,037 Come on. Let's get on. 14 00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:04,041 The way we've been meaning to get on ever since you started bagging here. 15 00:02:08,296 --> 00:02:10,214 You hit me in the eye! 16 00:02:11,507 --> 00:02:14,844 What? No, Clint, you hit yourself. I saw you. 17 00:02:15,011 --> 00:02:16,262 You've gone loony. 18 00:02:16,429 --> 00:02:18,472 You get out of here. You're fired. 19 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,517 - Fired? - Yeah. Go on! 20 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:30,609 I'm so sorry I got you in trouble, Bucky. 21 00:02:30,776 --> 00:02:33,738 I shouldn't have distracted you from your job. 22 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,616 Mrs. Bozobop, this has nothing to do with you. 23 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:41,037 It is an honor to have you as my last bag. 24 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:45,708 And I meant what I said about the Cool Ranch. They're so good... 25 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,419 Oh, listen to me, Bucky. 26 00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:52,298 Don't let these people get you down. 27 00:02:52,465 --> 00:02:54,925 I can feel it in my bones. 28 00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:57,928 You're destined for greatness. 29 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,779 Oh, jeez, Bucky. 30 00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:18,282 I haven't seen you this down since they canceled Jericho. 31 00:03:18,824 --> 00:03:22,787 You know, that Clint guy is just a little off. 32 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:27,583 I was repairing the soles of his loafers, and I'm not lying... 33 00:03:27,750 --> 00:03:29,043 he's got six toes. 34 00:03:30,294 --> 00:03:32,838 - Now, get right out of town. - No joke. 35 00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:36,258 No. I saw the outline right there in the shoe. 36 00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:39,804 I think his dad was some sort of an amphibian. 37 00:03:45,309 --> 00:03:48,104 Jeremiah, shame on you! 38 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,981 Pop, you had me going real good there. 39 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,611 - He sure did. - See, you're feeling better already, hon. 40 00:03:55,778 --> 00:03:57,238 I bet it's that new haircut. 41 00:03:57,405 --> 00:04:00,157 I've been getting a lot of compliments on it. Thanks, Mom. 42 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:03,077 Oh, don't thank me. Thank the bowl. 43 00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:05,496 Mrs. Bozobop said I look like Brad Pitt. 44 00:04:05,663 --> 00:04:08,332 Yeah, you do look like kind of the Legends of the Fall... 45 00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:10,793 with the hair working there. 46 00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,170 What do you say we adjourn to the living room... 47 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,589 - and play some Yahtzee? - That's a good idea. 48 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,299 Oh, actually... 49 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:20,302 Mom, I'm gonna go over to Dale's tonight. 50 00:04:21,846 --> 00:04:24,515 Okay, I just thought you loved the Yahtz. 51 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:27,017 I do. It's just Rory said they've got some movie... 52 00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:28,978 that will turn my frown upside down. 53 00:04:29,395 --> 00:04:32,690 Yeah, you know, it's good to have friends when times are tough. 54 00:04:32,857 --> 00:04:34,733 I want you to wear your bright sneakers... 55 00:04:34,900 --> 00:04:36,777 so the cars can see you. 56 00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:39,280 Already on, Pop. 57 00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,533 Look at him dancing. Like a rapper. 58 00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:07,057 Here he comes. We gotta cheer him up. 59 00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,810 - Hi, Buck. - Hey, what's the word, Big Bird? 60 00:05:10,686 --> 00:05:12,646 Hey, Dale, what is that, a robot head? 61 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,190 I Wish. 62 00:05:14,356 --> 00:05:17,693 It's my parents' old projector. We used to watch home movies on it. 63 00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:21,989 But tonight, we're gonna use it to watch nude movies. 64 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:25,659 - Nude? - A skin-filmer. 65 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,871 One of those movies you can play with your business to. 66 00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:31,582 Play with your busi... Business what? 67 00:05:31,749 --> 00:05:33,042 Don't you twang your Wang? 68 00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:36,754 If that means washing my ween, then yeah, it's an every-dayer. 69 00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:40,424 You know, "Up, down, all around, do it again if I see some brown." 70 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,220 No, it means rubbing your skin flute... 71 00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:48,098 after it gets stiff from seeing a pair of love balloons. 72 00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:51,936 Nope. Can't say I've done that. 73 00:05:52,102 --> 00:05:54,563 - You are fibbing! - No way! 74 00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:57,858 Jeez, Bucky, I build my day around the whack. 75 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,861 I get in a breakfast flapjack, a nooner... 76 00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:05,074 an after-lunch, pre-nap slap, a post-work, traffic-jam slam... 77 00:06:05,241 --> 00:06:07,993 a pre-dinner spinner, an after-dinner dink... 78 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:09,453 a dog-walk leash-pull... 79 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,289 and then I round it out with a midnight snack-whack... 80 00:06:12,456 --> 00:06:13,958 if my folks are asleep. 81 00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,043 Sometimes I do it at the dinner table. 82 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:19,255 I'm not gonna lie, Bucky. I've been choking the bald man... 83 00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:22,466 the whole time Lars was telling you his pud-pulling schedule. 84 00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:26,011 Pocket patty-cake! 85 00:06:27,471 --> 00:06:30,307 Jeez. You guys spend a lot of time on this. 86 00:06:30,474 --> 00:06:31,600 Is it really that fun? 87 00:06:31,767 --> 00:06:33,394 Better than "Donkey Kong." 88 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:35,229 Now, get right out of town. 89 00:06:39,817 --> 00:06:42,152 So how do you do it, this... What is it, whacking? 90 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:45,155 It's a breeze. We'll walk you through it, step by step. 91 00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,992 We'll even kill the lights, so you can have your privacy. 92 00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:51,203 But you know what? We'll put on the old Billy Squier black light... 93 00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:52,830 so you can see your business. 94 00:06:54,957 --> 00:06:57,668 Jeez, guys, thanks a lot for helping me out here. 95 00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:01,005 Hey, we wouldn't be your friends if we didn't. 96 00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,966 Now, jump in the big bean. 97 00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:05,342 All right. 98 00:07:14,018 --> 00:07:17,104 Now you're gonna see some sexy stuff in the movie. 99 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:20,482 Stuff that's gonna inflate your fun-tool. 100 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:24,153 Like hot-buttered yaboes. 101 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,363 I got a feeling this is gonna be a doozy. 102 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,699 So pop a button and go ankles on your trousers. 103 00:07:28,866 --> 00:07:30,659 You're gonna wanna be ready, Bucky. 104 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,581 We should put down a tarp. 105 00:07:35,748 --> 00:07:37,875 Could be a flood when he blows. 106 00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,711 Just finished baling the hay. 107 00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:43,130 Need me to put the pitchfork anywhere else? 108 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:44,882 How's it going up there, Bucky? 109 00:07:45,049 --> 00:07:47,551 Not sure. I'm catching some air off my wrinkle-bag. 110 00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:50,554 - Is that what we're looking for? - One hundred percent, Bucky. 111 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:52,890 That's called liftoff. 112 00:07:56,769 --> 00:07:59,938 Bucky, grab your joystick. The game's about to begin. 113 00:08:00,105 --> 00:08:02,983 - Okay, one hand or two? - No, just the one. 114 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,401 Keep your other hand free... 115 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:06,487 in case you wanna tap on your dirt button. 116 00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,200 Forget your dirt button! Just ice-pick it, Bucky! 117 00:08:11,367 --> 00:08:13,077 Grab at it and really go to town! 118 00:08:19,083 --> 00:08:21,710 Up and down, like a pogo stick! 119 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:26,048 Am I doing it now? Am I a whacker? 120 00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:27,883 You're a whacking machine! 121 00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,430 Is that who I think it is? 122 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:36,100 How does that feel? 123 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:38,268 You know, that's got a real kick to it, hon. 124 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,479 Just like a donkey. 125 00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:46,735 That's your folks. 126 00:08:46,902 --> 00:08:48,404 One hundred percent. 127 00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,114 By golly. 128 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:51,699 Oh, my! 129 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,118 Jeez, that's weird. 130 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,626 That's my folks. 131 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:05,462 On the big screen. 132 00:09:05,629 --> 00:09:08,298 I think that's pretty dang cool, Bucky. 133 00:09:13,178 --> 00:09:14,221 Hi, Buck. 134 00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,515 I knew you couldn't resist the Yahtzee. 135 00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:19,810 So you finished the movie already? 136 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,482 I bet acting is fun. 137 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:32,156 But it's gotta be weird having a camera pointed at you... 138 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,241 don't you think, Pop? 139 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,536 Probably not that weird. 140 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,206 I bet you couldn't do it. 141 00:09:41,373 --> 00:09:43,000 Oh, I bet you I could. 142 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,210 I bet you couldn't... 143 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:46,920 if you're nude! 144 00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:50,966 Jim Spraysium and Rosie Bush! 145 00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:57,848 How'd you know about that? 146 00:09:58,015 --> 00:09:59,767 I saw it. 147 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,352 I didn't even know you were a farmer, Pop. 148 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,523 We were gonna tell you on your 50th birthday... 149 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,026 but I guess you stumbled on it early. 150 00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:11,278 - You made all of these? - Sure did. 151 00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:15,115 - Eighty-six, to be exact. - Jeez. I mean... 152 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,825 How the heck did you get into it? 153 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:18,619 Well... 154 00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:22,039 one day, your mother says, "I wanna see the ocean." 155 00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:27,085 So I rented a van and, well, we went out there to California. 156 00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,671 Anyway, we're taking a walk on the beach. 157 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,965 So we threw down a beach towel... 158 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,968 and we start a pretty mean session of kissy-face. 159 00:10:35,803 --> 00:10:38,847 And then, out of nowhere, an older gentleman comes up... 160 00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,350 and says we look good smooching. 161 00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:44,186 And he said he made movies about people doing the stuff... 162 00:10:44,353 --> 00:10:46,063 - that we were doing. - Yeah... 163 00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,817 and he said that we had a natural look and technique. 164 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,902 He said it was our destiny. 165 00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:57,407 When someone says it's your destiny, you listen up. 166 00:11:00,536 --> 00:11:02,663 Old Mrs. Bozobop said I had a destiny earlier. 167 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:07,084 Well, sure you do. Everybody does, Bucky. 168 00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:08,418 Yeah, but this is it. 169 00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:11,213 What's it? 170 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:13,465 This is why I was fired. 171 00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:14,967 This is my destiny. 172 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:17,052 I was born to be a star. 173 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,138 Oh, I don't know about that, Bucky. 174 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:22,724 I mean, it's not an easy life. 175 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:26,436 It's filled with long days and lots of chafing. 176 00:11:27,104 --> 00:11:29,523 I ain't afraid of chafing. I ain't afraid of nothing. 177 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:33,110 I'm gonna go to California and I'm gonna be a star on the silver screen. 178 00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:34,862 I'm the son of two movie stars. 179 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:39,199 That's like a super-duper movie star. 180 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,661 - Buck! - No. Let him go, dear. 181 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:51,003 I love you so much. I'm gonna call you right when I get there, I promise. 182 00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,671 - You better. - All right. 183 00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:54,298 - All right, son. - Bye. 184 00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,678 There goes our boy, Jeremiah. 185 00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:01,138 Give them heck, son! 186 00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:21,199 No way. 187 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,328 Pop. 188 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,651 - Take care. - Be safe, Bucky. 189 00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:59,571 BYE, Piggies. 190 00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:46,201 Hey, how are you? 191 00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,330 We don't sell kiddie porn, man. 192 00:13:50,789 --> 00:13:52,833 Oh, I'm allergic to cats. 193 00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:59,423 Self-service, pal. Don't see what you want, just do some laps... 194 00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:03,427 - until something gives you a boner. - No, I don't wanna buy a movie. 195 00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:06,847 I wanna be in one. Let's go. 196 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:08,849 We just sell the porn. 197 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:11,643 If you wanna make it, you have to go to the Valley. 198 00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:13,270 No way. 199 00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:15,272 Is that far'? 200 00:14:15,439 --> 00:14:18,442 We just... The bus went through a valley in Colorado. Was that it? 201 00:14:18,608 --> 00:14:20,485 - Did I miss it? - No. 202 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,571 Just go over the hill. 203 00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:24,072 Take Laurel Canyon. 204 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,741 All right, good. Thanks. 205 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,284 How are you doing? 206 00:14:27,451 --> 00:14:29,119 All right. It's hot out. 207 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:32,122 Fart in my mouth! Fart in my mouth! 208 00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:35,959 Fart in my mouth! Fart in my mouth! 209 00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:39,463 Hi, how are you? 210 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:44,801 Yeah, good day. Yeah, good day to you. All right. 211 00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:48,138 Hi, all right. 212 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,839 Hey, what's your soup today? 213 00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:27,427 Split pea with rice and broccoli. 214 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,846 That sounds good. I'll have a bowl of that. 215 00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,432 And some braces? 216 00:15:33,016 --> 00:15:37,104 And maybe a haircut? And a new shirt? God. 217 00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,314 Kathy, I'm going on break. 218 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:42,275 Bring a bowl of soup to Bugs Bunny at the counter. 219 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,278 Marge, you just went on break. 220 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:51,701 I'll get that soup over to you right away. 221 00:15:57,207 --> 00:15:58,667 My name's Kathy, by the way... 222 00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:01,294 so if you need anything, just holler. 223 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:05,966 Okay. I'm Hucky. Boiler at me if you need spazzing. 224 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,397 I need you to clean up the bathrooms. 225 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:23,233 Oh, it's Marge's night to clean the bathrooms. 226 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,484 Marge had to leave sick. 227 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,153 Why are you being so difficult? 228 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:27,737 Marge has a hard life. 229 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,907 Marge has got hairy ears just like a tarantula. 230 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:32,701 And she's ugly as shit. 231 00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:35,579 Show some compassion, would you? 232 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:42,210 I didn't know we had rats over here. 233 00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:48,258 Do you want me to clean the bathrooms for you? I can. 234 00:16:48,425 --> 00:16:51,052 No, it's sweet of you to offer, but I can do it. 235 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,014 All right. Let me know. 236 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:55,932 I love that accent. 237 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:59,644 - Are you from the Midwest? - Yeah! Iowa. 238 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,897 Good guess. 239 00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:03,773 Are you here on vacation... 240 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,109 or did you come here to become a movie star? 241 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:07,903 A movie star. 242 00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,404 Do you have mind powers? 243 00:17:10,447 --> 00:17:14,075 No, just root-beer-float powers. 244 00:17:20,290 --> 00:17:21,499 Hey- 245 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:25,212 - I have a question. - Okay. 246 00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,797 Are there any stars here? 247 00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:30,800 Because it says "Tony's Famous Diner" on the sign... 248 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,678 but I haven't recognized anyone. 249 00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:37,265 Yeah. Play it cool. 250 00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,809 I'm not supposed to say this... 251 00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,479 but the guy behind you, on your left... 252 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,149 was Chewbacca in Star Wars. 253 00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:49,569 - What? He was Chewbacca? - Yes. 254 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:51,988 I love Star Wars. 255 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,991 - On my left? - Yeah. 256 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:13,677 Oh, my God. He looks just like him. 257 00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,893 Midwest, what are you doing in there? 258 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,355 Munching on this chocolate Frisbee, doing some Mad Libs. 259 00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:09,149 I see that. 260 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,568 Why are you doing it in the bushes? 261 00:19:11,735 --> 00:19:14,070 I actually thought I'd set up camp in here tonight. 262 00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:15,488 It's actually kind of warm. 263 00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:19,409 You don't have any place to stay? 264 00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:22,746 No. I just got to town, so I don't really know anybody yet. 265 00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:26,249 But it's fine. I was a Cub Scout, so I can make do. 266 00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:29,461 Bucky, get out of the bushes. 267 00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,921 Come on, it's not a nice neighborhood. 268 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:36,259 There's a guy at my apartment building who's been looking for a roommate. 269 00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:38,470 Let's go see if the room's still available. 270 00:19:38,636 --> 00:19:42,557 And, you know, if not, we've got much nicer bushes. 271 00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,601 All right, sounds like a plan. 272 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,645 So you live here your whole life? 273 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:51,358 No, I grew up in New Jersey. I moved here after high school. 274 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:52,984 You went to high school? 275 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:56,821 - Yeah, you didn't go? - No, my town didn't have one. 276 00:19:58,365 --> 00:20:01,910 So, what kind of movies you wanna do? Comedy, drama? 277 00:20:02,077 --> 00:20:03,453 Nude. 278 00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,789 So comedy. 279 00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,458 No, full-on nude. My folks did it. 280 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:10,085 Cross my heart. 281 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,046 Well, that's awesome. Awesome. 282 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,464 - Thanks. - Here we are. 283 00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,132 Home, sweet home. 284 00:20:16,299 --> 00:20:17,926 Your bushes are super nice. 285 00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:19,636 Yeah, they're nice. 286 00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:23,098 I hope he's still awake. It is kind of late. 287 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:28,812 Hey, Gary, I'm sorry to bother you. 288 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,147 I wanted to see if you have that room for rent. 289 00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,774 So are we gonna do this or not? 290 00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:35,068 Yeah. Yeah. 291 00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:38,988 Well, you can tell him that Gary said to eat my shit. 292 00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:40,824 Yeah, totally. 293 00:20:40,990 --> 00:20:42,826 You wanna move your stuff in tonight? 294 00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:44,661 No. No, it's not for me. 295 00:20:44,828 --> 00:20:47,330 It's for my friend Bucky here. I'm still up in 44. 296 00:20:48,373 --> 00:20:50,166 How are you doing? Bucky Larson. 297 00:20:50,333 --> 00:20:51,668 What line of work are you in? 298 00:20:51,835 --> 00:20:54,087 I'm here to be a movie star. 299 00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:57,757 My last roommate came here to be a rock star then skipped town, that fuck. 300 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,509 Owes me three months' rent. 301 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,511 Fuck you, John Mayer. 302 00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:04,514 Wait, no. I got the dough. I'm good for it. 303 00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:09,978 - Can you excuse us for a minute? - Yeah, sure. 304 00:21:10,728 --> 00:21:13,106 And don't leave. I'd like to say goodbye. 305 00:21:18,528 --> 00:21:20,613 Look, I don't know you and I don't know Kathy. 306 00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,991 I've seen her in the laundry room a few times... 307 00:21:23,158 --> 00:21:25,827 but that doesn't mean I trust her. I trust her tits. 308 00:21:28,830 --> 00:21:31,583 I'm gonna let you have the room because I know you got cash. 309 00:21:31,749 --> 00:21:35,044 And I know I could pound those woodcutters down your throat. 310 00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:37,672 Why are you being weird about that? 311 00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:40,717 - I'm not. It's fine. Whatever you want. - Yeah, no fucking shit. 312 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,970 You can have the bathroom off the hallway. 313 00:21:44,137 --> 00:21:46,681 Don't use the one in my room. That's my sanctuary. 314 00:21:46,848 --> 00:21:49,309 - Roommates? - Yeah, roommates. 315 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:55,023 - Good. - Great seeing you again, Kathy... 316 00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:58,234 and if you ever wanna hang out by the pool, let me know. 317 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:03,198 - Good night, Bucky. - Good night, Kathy. 318 00:22:31,684 --> 00:22:33,394 All right. 319 00:22:49,452 --> 00:22:52,080 I could do this all day, bird... 320 00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:54,749 but I gotta go and take this town by the antlers. 321 00:22:59,629 --> 00:23:00,964 What the fuck? 322 00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:03,132 - I'm sorry. - Shut the door! 323 00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:04,926 You said this was my bathroom. 324 00:23:05,093 --> 00:23:06,553 It is! But I shit here! 325 00:23:06,719 --> 00:23:09,055 I can't shit where I shower! Shut the fucking door! 326 00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:10,723 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 327 00:23:10,890 --> 00:23:13,309 You better not be a psycho! 328 00:23:16,312 --> 00:23:19,148 Sorry. We got a new intern out here at our office. 329 00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:27,156 Bucky. 330 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:30,243 Why are you brushing your teeth in the pool? 331 00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:33,162 There's a problem with my bathroom. 332 00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:35,415 There's gonna be a problem in your stomach... 333 00:23:35,582 --> 00:23:37,750 if you keep using that water. 334 00:23:44,340 --> 00:23:46,676 - Thanks for the warning. - Yeah. 335 00:23:47,552 --> 00:23:50,179 I'm off to work. Good luck being nude today. 336 00:23:50,346 --> 00:23:52,015 Okay. Say hi to Chewbacca. 337 00:24:00,690 --> 00:24:03,818 Free snake? No, thanks. 338 00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:11,034 "Actors wanted. Open call audition." 339 00:24:16,581 --> 00:24:17,707 Bucky Larson. 340 00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:30,845 This is Bucky Larson. 341 00:24:33,931 --> 00:24:35,808 Do you have a headshot? 342 00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,228 Like a shot of my head or what? 343 00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,939 Yeah. 344 00:24:43,566 --> 00:24:45,568 Yeah, wait. 345 00:24:47,737 --> 00:24:49,072 I got a picture here of me. 346 00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:52,283 That's me on the left. You can just fold it and get the head part. 347 00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:55,244 Your accent's awesome, man. 348 00:24:55,411 --> 00:24:57,789 I like the Midwest choice. And that vest is amazing. 349 00:24:57,955 --> 00:24:59,916 Oh, Thanks. My mom made it for me. 350 00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:04,754 This isn't a proper headshot. 351 00:25:04,921 --> 00:25:07,840 Who cares? Come on, this guy's great. 352 00:25:08,007 --> 00:25:09,217 Don't be such a buzz-kill. 353 00:25:09,384 --> 00:25:11,552 Are you familiar with Redondi Mac and Cheese? 354 00:25:11,719 --> 00:25:13,388 Oh, Yeah. That's my favorite. 355 00:25:13,554 --> 00:25:15,932 My mom makes it every Tuesday for Boggle night. 356 00:25:16,099 --> 00:25:17,225 I love your slogan. 357 00:25:17,392 --> 00:25:19,519 Eat Redondi Fill your belly. 358 00:25:19,686 --> 00:25:21,354 Monday through Sunday. 359 00:25:21,521 --> 00:25:25,233 That's perfect. My name is Claudio and I'll be directing this commercial. 360 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:26,693 We're gonna put you on tape. 361 00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:29,362 - Did you get to peep the script? - Peep? 362 00:25:31,572 --> 00:25:32,699 Peep? 363 00:25:32,865 --> 00:25:35,410 Screw it. We'll do a cold read. You're a pro. 364 00:25:36,786 --> 00:25:37,954 Owen, press record. 365 00:25:38,788 --> 00:25:40,248 And Bucky, go for it. 366 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,756 - Holy shit! - Fuck, man, what are you doing? 367 00:25:48,923 --> 00:25:50,508 No, no, no! 368 00:25:50,675 --> 00:25:51,801 Did I whack it right? 369 00:25:51,968 --> 00:25:54,053 - Stop the camera! Stop it! - Oh, my God. 370 00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:55,930 Oh, my God, he's going for his butt! 371 00:25:58,808 --> 00:26:01,310 - Get out of here, you pervert! - Get the fuck out! 372 00:26:01,477 --> 00:26:03,312 Did I get the part? 373 00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:10,820 Hey- 374 00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:14,282 Hey, man. Pull your pants up. 375 00:26:14,449 --> 00:26:16,159 What the fuck is your problem? 376 00:26:16,325 --> 00:26:19,495 I don't know. I was doing what the guys in the neighborhood told me to. 377 00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:21,998 So this is a dare, some YouTube bullshit? 378 00:26:22,165 --> 00:26:25,126 No. I wanna be a movie star, like my folks. 379 00:26:25,293 --> 00:26:27,378 They were on camera and they were nude. 380 00:26:27,545 --> 00:26:29,547 And they helped people. 381 00:26:29,714 --> 00:26:33,426 - Who the hell were your parents? - Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium. 382 00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:35,344 The porn stars from the '70s? 383 00:26:35,511 --> 00:26:37,638 - Are you serious? - Yeah, for sure. 384 00:26:37,805 --> 00:26:39,640 Look at the picture. 385 00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:41,851 Holy shit, that is them. 386 00:26:42,935 --> 00:26:44,020 Rosie Bush. 387 00:26:44,187 --> 00:26:46,522 Damn, her bush sure was rosy. 388 00:26:46,689 --> 00:26:49,233 That explains it, how you got that thick Midwest accent. 389 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:50,818 I don't have an accent. 390 00:26:52,612 --> 00:26:54,989 So you seriously wanna do porn? 391 00:26:55,156 --> 00:26:58,034 You can't whip your dick out at mac-and-cheese commercials. 392 00:26:58,201 --> 00:26:59,786 You'll go to jail. 393 00:26:59,952 --> 00:27:01,162 I don't wanna go to jail. 394 00:27:03,498 --> 00:27:05,875 When I started out, I used to direct some porno. 395 00:27:06,042 --> 00:27:08,711 A lot of directors do it. There's nothing weird about it. 396 00:27:08,878 --> 00:27:11,214 My boy Dick Shadow's having a house party tonight. 397 00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:13,424 You can make a lot of connections there. 398 00:27:13,591 --> 00:27:15,718 People will trip meeting the son of Rosie and Jim. 399 00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:18,387 - A trip out? - Do you wanna roll with me? 400 00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:20,389 Yeah, I'll roll with you. 401 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,391 Actually, I'm glad you wanna do porn. 402 00:27:22,558 --> 00:27:25,353 At first, I thought you had some weird mac-and-cheese fetish. 403 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,147 No, I don't use fetish cheese. I use Velveeta. 404 00:27:30,066 --> 00:27:33,319 Oh, you can't go this way. They probably called the cops. 405 00:27:36,906 --> 00:27:38,866 I've never ridden in a convertible before. 406 00:27:39,033 --> 00:27:41,536 This is something else. 407 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,747 Get the full experience, man. Stand up, feel the breeze. 408 00:27:45,456 --> 00:27:48,042 - Are you serious? - Yeah, buddy. 409 00:28:01,430 --> 00:28:05,309 Holy cow! That was wild, man. 410 00:28:08,271 --> 00:28:11,399 Bucky, I think you've got bugs in your teeth. 411 00:28:11,566 --> 00:28:13,192 - No. - You wanna scrape those off... 412 00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:16,529 - before you get to the party. - Oh, it's still moving! 413 00:28:19,323 --> 00:28:23,119 This is the joint, Bucky, the hardest, horniest party in town. 414 00:28:23,286 --> 00:28:26,122 If you wanna be in the porn world, you got to know the Shadow. 415 00:28:26,289 --> 00:28:27,915 Shadows are so mysterious. 416 00:28:28,082 --> 00:28:29,333 What's up, Ricky? 417 00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:31,961 - What's up, guys? - Where are you going, crackhead? 418 00:28:32,128 --> 00:28:34,463 Yo, guys, he's cool. He's with me. 419 00:28:36,591 --> 00:28:38,509 Your hands are like a bear trap. 420 00:28:38,676 --> 00:28:40,970 - Any cameras or weapons? - No, I don't... 421 00:28:41,137 --> 00:28:42,471 Cool. Don't bite anybody. 422 00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:48,144 Hi, how are you? Good to see you. 423 00:28:48,352 --> 00:28:51,188 - Claudio. - Hey. 424 00:28:54,275 --> 00:28:56,611 Hey, guys. Everybody having fun? 425 00:29:01,449 --> 00:29:02,575 Sushi? 426 00:29:02,742 --> 00:29:06,162 "Sushi"? Is that with an "S"? 427 00:29:06,329 --> 00:29:09,373 Sushi. All right. 428 00:29:09,540 --> 00:29:11,667 Oh, it smells like... 429 00:29:14,921 --> 00:29:17,006 Do you want some sushi? 430 00:29:45,534 --> 00:29:48,996 No, thank you! No, thank you! 431 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:57,046 So, Dick Shadow. Is that a family name? 432 00:29:57,713 --> 00:29:59,632 Because it sounds like a superhero. 433 00:30:02,051 --> 00:30:04,971 Well, in many ways, I am a superhero. 434 00:30:06,514 --> 00:30:08,849 Yeah, when I was a boy... 435 00:30:09,016 --> 00:30:11,560 I was 12 or so, I was playing out in the fields. 436 00:30:13,312 --> 00:30:16,148 The sun was so bright that day. 437 00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:20,403 I was wearing these baggy shorts. 438 00:30:20,569 --> 00:30:22,196 A bee flew up my trousers. 439 00:30:22,363 --> 00:30:24,198 Oh, my God. 440 00:30:24,365 --> 00:30:25,408 Yeah. 441 00:30:25,574 --> 00:30:27,243 So I panicked, right? 442 00:30:27,410 --> 00:30:29,745 I took off my shorts as fast as I could. 443 00:30:30,162 --> 00:30:32,248 I stood there naked from the waist down. 444 00:30:32,999 --> 00:30:34,333 Well, where did the bee go? 445 00:30:35,251 --> 00:30:37,086 Doesn't matter. He flew away. 446 00:30:37,253 --> 00:30:39,380 But as I stood there... 447 00:30:39,547 --> 00:30:43,801 the wind blowing and the sun beating down on my manhood... 448 00:30:44,635 --> 00:30:47,680 I saw a shadow before me. 449 00:30:49,223 --> 00:30:50,933 It was gigantic. 450 00:30:53,227 --> 00:30:55,688 Then I looked over to the neighborhood girls. 451 00:30:55,855 --> 00:30:57,648 And their mothers. 452 00:30:57,815 --> 00:31:00,401 And they were standing there in awe of my shadow. 453 00:31:01,652 --> 00:31:04,572 And that's when Randy Dooley died... 454 00:31:04,780 --> 00:31:07,450 and Dick Shadow was born. 455 00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:11,412 Nothing grows in my cock shade. 456 00:31:11,579 --> 00:31:12,788 Nothing. 457 00:31:13,456 --> 00:31:14,707 Oh, yeah. 458 00:31:14,874 --> 00:31:16,125 Yeah. Yeah. 459 00:31:17,293 --> 00:31:19,295 Claudio. My man. 460 00:31:19,462 --> 00:31:20,880 Dick Shadow. 461 00:31:21,047 --> 00:31:23,299 Hey. Ladies, why don't you take a break? 462 00:31:24,133 --> 00:31:25,885 Give me a second with my buddy here. 463 00:31:26,969 --> 00:31:30,097 There's somebody I want you to meet. You'll get a kick out of this. 464 00:31:30,264 --> 00:31:33,225 Do you remember Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium? 465 00:31:33,392 --> 00:31:38,481 Yeah, I think so. Married couple from the '70s, talked like retards... 466 00:31:38,647 --> 00:31:41,984 - never shaved? - Yeah. This is their son. 467 00:31:42,151 --> 00:31:43,652 He wants to get into porn. 468 00:31:43,819 --> 00:31:45,321 Really? 469 00:31:46,363 --> 00:31:49,033 So, what do you want to do? You wanna be a lighting guy... 470 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:50,409 or a fluff er? 471 00:31:50,576 --> 00:31:52,495 No, a star. 472 00:31:55,915 --> 00:31:58,000 Well, let's see what you got. 473 00:31:59,001 --> 00:32:00,544 Here I go. 474 00:32:01,128 --> 00:32:03,714 I got about two bucks and some Bazooka Joes. 475 00:32:03,881 --> 00:32:05,674 It's a little warm, but it's chewable. 476 00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:08,969 No, no. Let's see your stuff. 477 00:32:09,929 --> 00:32:13,182 Oh, my... My stuffs in my apartment. Was I supposed to bring it? 478 00:32:13,349 --> 00:32:15,434 No, your junk, kid. Whip it out. 479 00:32:15,601 --> 00:32:19,021 Your dick, Bucky. Pull down your pants. That's what he's talking about. 480 00:32:20,981 --> 00:32:23,359 - Oh, my... - Yeah. 481 00:32:23,901 --> 00:32:25,402 Yeah. 482 00:32:36,205 --> 00:32:38,332 Very impressive. 483 00:32:38,874 --> 00:32:40,709 This is quite extraordinary, Bucky. 484 00:32:40,876 --> 00:32:43,212 I think you've got quite a future in this business. 485 00:32:43,712 --> 00:32:45,381 - No. - Yeah. 486 00:32:45,548 --> 00:32:47,049 Can I borrow him for a minute? 487 00:32:47,216 --> 00:32:48,968 I would just love to show him around... 488 00:32:49,135 --> 00:32:51,178 and introduce him to some people, okay? 489 00:32:51,345 --> 00:32:54,890 Yeah, come on. No, I'm serious. 490 00:32:57,226 --> 00:33:00,146 It's Miles Deep, the director. 491 00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:02,273 How about I direct my dick in your mouth... 492 00:33:02,439 --> 00:33:04,567 if you don't get the fuck out of here? 493 00:33:04,733 --> 00:33:07,236 Look, let me just go in there for a minute and I can... 494 00:33:07,403 --> 00:33:10,573 Wait. Wait. You son of a bitch. 495 00:33:11,073 --> 00:33:12,908 Party people! 496 00:33:16,370 --> 00:33:19,206 Yeah. Let's stop the music, please. 497 00:33:19,665 --> 00:33:22,418 I've got somebody very important I want you to meet. 498 00:33:23,085 --> 00:33:26,213 Now I've seen many porn stars come and go... 499 00:33:26,380 --> 00:33:28,757 but this guy right here I just met... 500 00:33:28,924 --> 00:33:32,052 he's gonna be coming for a very long time. 501 00:33:33,762 --> 00:33:37,266 Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Bucky Larson? 502 00:33:39,685 --> 00:33:40,895 Hey, how are you? 503 00:33:42,730 --> 00:33:45,441 Drop the pants. Show them what you got, kid. 504 00:33:45,608 --> 00:33:46,775 All right. 505 00:33:55,784 --> 00:33:58,787 Did I mention he'll be starring in lesbian porn? 506 00:34:03,417 --> 00:34:04,960 No. 507 00:34:11,050 --> 00:34:12,426 Somebody help him. 508 00:34:12,593 --> 00:34:14,637 I'll save you, little man. 509 00:34:18,557 --> 00:34:20,601 He really pushed you in the pool like that? 510 00:34:20,768 --> 00:34:22,102 What a jerk. 511 00:34:22,269 --> 00:34:24,563 Maybe he thought you were a walrus. 512 00:34:28,108 --> 00:34:30,903 Yeah, and I can't swim good without my water wings, you know. 513 00:34:31,403 --> 00:34:34,281 You know, Dick Shadow's the biggest star in the nude business. 514 00:34:34,448 --> 00:34:36,575 You know, I mean, what am I gonna do? 515 00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:40,162 Well, if it makes you feel any better, I've never heard of Dick Shadow... 516 00:34:40,329 --> 00:34:42,498 but I have heard of Bucky Larson. 517 00:34:45,376 --> 00:34:47,086 Hey, Kathy. 518 00:34:47,670 --> 00:34:49,672 There's a dead cat in the woman's bathroom. 519 00:34:49,838 --> 00:34:51,340 I need you to put it in my car. 520 00:34:52,675 --> 00:34:54,176 I can feed it to my snake. 521 00:34:55,261 --> 00:34:57,304 - Okay. - Stop being difficult. 522 00:35:04,270 --> 00:35:05,604 Excuse me. 523 00:35:05,771 --> 00:35:09,191 Thought I overheard you say something about the nude business. 524 00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:10,484 Yeah. 525 00:35:11,026 --> 00:35:13,195 Were you at Dick Shadow's party last night? 526 00:35:13,362 --> 00:35:14,697 Yeah, for a little bit. 527 00:35:14,863 --> 00:35:18,409 - Are you friends with Dick? - No, not exactly. 528 00:35:18,575 --> 00:35:21,036 - My friend Claudio brought me. - The director, right? 529 00:35:22,788 --> 00:35:24,748 I'm a director too. 530 00:35:25,207 --> 00:35:28,043 Miles. Miles Deep. 531 00:35:28,210 --> 00:35:31,213 Wow, cool. Pleasure to meet you. Bucky Larson. 532 00:35:31,380 --> 00:35:33,882 - So did you go to Dick's party too? - No. 533 00:35:34,049 --> 00:35:37,886 The porn world is full of fucking degenerates. 534 00:35:38,053 --> 00:35:41,098 My folks aren't degenerates. They're the sweetest in the world... 535 00:35:41,265 --> 00:35:43,309 and they were gigantors in the pornos. 536 00:35:43,475 --> 00:35:44,977 Who were your folks'? 537 00:35:45,144 --> 00:35:47,396 Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium. 538 00:35:50,065 --> 00:35:52,568 - Farmer in the Smell? - Yeah. 539 00:35:52,735 --> 00:35:54,737 I worked on that movie. 540 00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:56,363 Yeah, get right out of a creek. 541 00:35:56,530 --> 00:35:59,408 I was a production assistant. 542 00:36:03,370 --> 00:36:07,416 - Hell, they were the last real originals. - I'll tell them you said that. 543 00:36:08,417 --> 00:36:11,211 I knew I knew that accent. 544 00:36:12,254 --> 00:36:15,507 Everyone keeps talking about my accent, but I'm from America. 545 00:36:18,385 --> 00:36:22,598 - Do you want to be on camera? - Yeah. 546 00:36:23,265 --> 00:36:26,560 I just bought a vintage camera. 547 00:36:27,353 --> 00:36:29,271 Would you like to shoot something tonight? 548 00:36:32,191 --> 00:36:35,652 Yeah. I think I can do that. 549 00:36:40,574 --> 00:36:42,534 Did you take Social Studies in fifth grade? 550 00:36:42,701 --> 00:36:44,787 - Yeah, for sure. I got a B. - Yeah. 551 00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:47,539 - The line by your thumb says B. - No fooling. 552 00:36:50,584 --> 00:36:54,588 - Is that guy retarded, Miles? - No, Jimmy, you're retarded. 553 00:36:55,631 --> 00:36:58,175 I told you, his parents were famous. 554 00:36:58,342 --> 00:37:00,469 There may be a nostalgic market out there. 555 00:37:00,636 --> 00:37:02,721 Bucky, come on over here and stand by the bar. 556 00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:04,223 Oh, yeah, sure. 557 00:37:09,019 --> 00:37:12,147 Nice, Gretchen. Really sexy. 558 00:37:12,314 --> 00:37:15,734 I knew I'd be good at this. I was a huge whore in high school. 559 00:37:15,901 --> 00:37:19,571 Okay, and we're rolling. Iowa, go ahead and step in there. 560 00:37:22,241 --> 00:37:24,326 Get that fucking thing out of there. 561 00:37:24,493 --> 00:37:25,661 Jesus. 562 00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:28,956 Don't look at the camera. 563 00:37:29,123 --> 00:37:32,626 All right, Bucky, go ahead, lose the shirt. Let's see how you look. 564 00:37:39,007 --> 00:37:42,344 Kill that light. I got a glare off of Bucky's chest. 565 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,766 Okay, Bucky, let's go ahead, drop your pants. 566 00:37:47,933 --> 00:37:49,643 Yeah, no problem. 567 00:38:05,284 --> 00:38:10,539 Okay, Gretchen, now would be a good time to pop out the puppies. 568 00:38:27,681 --> 00:38:29,057 What the fuck just happened? 569 00:38:30,017 --> 00:38:32,811 My brain just sparkled. 570 00:38:33,854 --> 00:38:35,230 Where did that go? 571 00:38:35,397 --> 00:38:37,733 Oh, I see some on the ceiling. 572 00:38:39,067 --> 00:38:41,236 I don't think I have any on me. 573 00:38:57,085 --> 00:38:58,837 Did he just come again? 574 00:38:59,004 --> 00:39:01,590 Yeah. You got it on the lens. 575 00:39:02,090 --> 00:39:04,343 I'm so sorry, Miles. 576 00:39:04,593 --> 00:39:06,678 I have no control, honest. 577 00:39:08,597 --> 00:39:10,098 No worries, kid. 578 00:39:10,265 --> 00:39:13,185 Go ahead, put your clothes back on. 579 00:39:16,355 --> 00:39:17,773 So... 580 00:39:18,273 --> 00:39:20,108 was it good or bad? How did I do? 581 00:39:21,693 --> 00:39:23,612 It was... 582 00:39:25,948 --> 00:39:26,949 It was. 583 00:39:28,825 --> 00:39:32,788 - Yes. - Let's wrap it up for today. 584 00:39:32,955 --> 00:39:34,498 Jimmy will give you a ride home. 585 00:39:34,665 --> 00:39:36,625 He's not gonna jizz all over my car, is he? 586 00:39:36,792 --> 00:39:38,627 Shut the fuck up, Jimmy. 587 00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:46,134 Here you go. 588 00:39:51,557 --> 00:39:52,599 Where's the blue one? 589 00:39:54,643 --> 00:39:56,853 Don't play with me, man. 590 00:39:57,479 --> 00:39:58,647 And the black one. 591 00:39:59,481 --> 00:40:03,068 The black one is what keeps me from biting your fucking ear off. 592 00:40:04,736 --> 00:40:07,823 It's just my mom said that you went to rehab a couple times... 593 00:40:07,990 --> 00:40:09,116 Your mom's a slut. 594 00:40:09,825 --> 00:40:11,159 But she's your sister. 595 00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:13,328 Exactly. How do you think I know? 596 00:40:13,787 --> 00:40:17,040 Why are you looking at this footage? I thought you said it was garbage. 597 00:40:17,207 --> 00:40:20,544 Because I'm looking to see how the camera looks. 598 00:40:20,711 --> 00:40:23,255 - If that's all right with you, shit stains. - It's fine. 599 00:40:23,422 --> 00:40:25,257 Thank you. 600 00:40:26,842 --> 00:40:28,969 My God. 601 00:40:29,428 --> 00:40:32,306 This guy has got some piano keys in his mouth. 602 00:40:32,931 --> 00:40:35,934 Yeah, when he pulled down his pants, I thought he had a vagina. 603 00:40:36,101 --> 00:40:39,938 Yeah. I had that vagina moment too. 604 00:40:41,481 --> 00:40:45,861 Even though he's hung like a ladybug, at least he's not afraid to show it. 605 00:40:47,904 --> 00:40:49,323 God, I got up too fast. 606 00:40:50,490 --> 00:40:52,618 What do you want me to do with all the footage? 607 00:40:52,784 --> 00:40:56,705 I don't give a fuck what you do with it. Put it up your ass. 608 00:41:03,086 --> 00:41:05,964 Gary, I'm so glad you're finally awake. 609 00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:08,925 I had the craziest night last night. I shot an actual movie... 610 00:41:09,092 --> 00:41:10,886 Whose cereal is that? 611 00:41:11,386 --> 00:41:12,721 Mine. I bought it yesterday. 612 00:41:12,888 --> 00:41:14,222 Did you buy your own milk? 613 00:41:14,723 --> 00:41:16,892 - No. Can I borrow some? - Hell, no. Fuck you. 614 00:41:22,064 --> 00:41:24,232 Hey. Hi, Bucky. 615 00:41:24,399 --> 00:41:25,692 Hey, Kathy. 616 00:41:25,859 --> 00:41:27,819 What's up, Kathy? Would you like some milk? 617 00:41:28,487 --> 00:41:31,365 No, thanks, Gary. Hey, Bucky. You wanna walk me to work? 618 00:41:31,531 --> 00:41:33,492 Yeah, sure. 619 00:41:33,992 --> 00:41:36,703 - I like walking. - That's nice, Gary. 620 00:41:37,621 --> 00:41:39,247 - Come on. - I had the craziest night. 621 00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:41,166 Oh, yeah? What happened? 622 00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:44,961 Why don't you walk on my tits, you big, fucking lesbo? 623 00:41:45,253 --> 00:41:48,048 Hi, Mom. No, I wasn't talking to you. 624 00:41:48,715 --> 00:41:52,386 It was like I dreamed. The lights were on and the director had a cool camera. 625 00:41:52,552 --> 00:41:55,013 When I pulled down my pants, I saw colors in my brain. 626 00:41:55,180 --> 00:41:57,265 Then there was a pop. And then stuff came out. 627 00:41:57,432 --> 00:41:59,226 There was a pop, they said, "It was." 628 00:41:59,393 --> 00:42:02,396 They had a weird helmet. They knew I got a B in Social Studies. 629 00:42:03,689 --> 00:42:05,357 I mean, you've been here two days... 630 00:42:05,524 --> 00:42:07,484 and your dreams are already coming true. 631 00:42:07,651 --> 00:42:09,528 - That's incredible. - Yeah, it's crazy. 632 00:42:09,695 --> 00:42:11,363 I don't know, but I'm babbling. 633 00:42:11,530 --> 00:42:13,657 Enough about me. I wanna know about you, Kathy. 634 00:42:13,824 --> 00:42:15,367 What are your dreams? 635 00:42:16,284 --> 00:42:18,787 I want to be a waitress. 636 00:42:19,663 --> 00:42:21,790 Your dreams came true. Why didn't you tell me? 637 00:42:21,957 --> 00:42:24,376 So you know what I'm going through. Dreams are crazy. 638 00:42:24,543 --> 00:42:28,296 Well, not really. I mean, the diner's not my dream. 639 00:42:28,463 --> 00:42:30,257 It's my nightmare, actually. 640 00:42:30,424 --> 00:42:34,219 But, you know, it's where I've been banished. 641 00:42:34,594 --> 00:42:36,513 Yeah, I was going to mention that earlier. 642 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:38,348 The people don't seem nice to you... 643 00:42:38,515 --> 00:42:41,810 and the food makes my bottom burn. 644 00:42:42,519 --> 00:42:43,979 Why were you banished? 645 00:42:44,146 --> 00:42:46,314 There was an incident, Bucky. 646 00:42:47,065 --> 00:42:51,486 - You killed a man? - No. Not exactly. 647 00:42:51,987 --> 00:42:56,116 When I first moved to L. A., I got a job at a five-star restaurant. 648 00:42:56,783 --> 00:42:58,493 You know, it was my dream job. 649 00:42:58,660 --> 00:43:00,454 And on the first day of training... 650 00:43:00,620 --> 00:43:05,167 I was carrying a tray of soups for a table of 10. 651 00:43:05,876 --> 00:43:08,837 And it was heavy, you know? But I toughed it out. 652 00:43:09,004 --> 00:43:11,757 But then, halfway to the table, my arm gave out... 653 00:43:11,923 --> 00:43:14,843 and I spilled soup all over this old lady. 654 00:43:16,845 --> 00:43:19,014 She screamed... 655 00:43:19,264 --> 00:43:21,183 ."soloud. 656 00:43:22,225 --> 00:43:25,520 She had to be choppered to a burn unit in San Diego. 657 00:43:25,687 --> 00:43:26,730 No. 658 00:43:26,897 --> 00:43:28,148 And ever since then... 659 00:43:28,315 --> 00:43:34,279 you know, I just burst into tears when I see a large food tray. 660 00:43:35,781 --> 00:43:38,742 So that's why I work at Tony's. 661 00:43:39,326 --> 00:43:41,203 No trays. 662 00:43:41,369 --> 00:43:43,914 Listen up, Kath. We'll get your dream back, okay? 663 00:43:44,080 --> 00:43:46,833 And you won't burn the elderly. I promise. 664 00:43:48,001 --> 00:43:49,127 Thanks, Bucky. 665 00:43:51,463 --> 00:43:53,799 - Oh, there's one other thing. - What? 666 00:43:53,965 --> 00:43:55,509 You're it. 667 00:44:04,184 --> 00:44:06,686 - Hi, Bucky. - Hey, Miles. 668 00:44:06,853 --> 00:44:08,021 It's great to see you. 669 00:44:08,188 --> 00:44:10,065 So hey, how did our scene edit together? 670 00:44:11,191 --> 00:44:13,360 That's what I want to talk to you about. 671 00:44:13,527 --> 00:44:15,362 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. Now, listen. 672 00:44:15,529 --> 00:44:16,947 Yeah. Sit. 673 00:44:21,743 --> 00:44:25,914 So I think you should be in the porn business. 674 00:44:27,833 --> 00:44:32,879 But in another way besides on camera. 675 00:44:34,005 --> 00:44:37,092 Perhaps behind the scenes. 676 00:44:38,927 --> 00:44:43,056 But I want to be a star. It's my destiny. 677 00:44:43,223 --> 00:44:45,642 Yeah, yeah, I know, Bucky. 678 00:44:45,851 --> 00:44:48,353 Your parents and destiny. 679 00:44:49,563 --> 00:44:54,109 But porn stars have to have certain things. 680 00:44:54,693 --> 00:44:58,446 - You know? - Yeah, I can get a tan. 681 00:44:59,155 --> 00:45:02,868 No, I meant more in the crotch area. 682 00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:05,370 Oh, yeah. No, I can tan my crotch. 683 00:45:06,913 --> 00:45:08,081 No, Bucky. 684 00:45:08,248 --> 00:45:10,083 He's talking about your dick, dum-dum. 685 00:45:10,250 --> 00:45:11,960 You don't got the: 686 00:45:16,131 --> 00:45:20,760 Bucky, you're a really nice kid. 687 00:45:21,678 --> 00:45:24,222 I just don't want to see you waste your time. 688 00:45:26,641 --> 00:45:28,643 I'm just trying to be honest with you, kid. 689 00:45:32,772 --> 00:45:33,815 Yeah, okay. 690 00:45:37,819 --> 00:45:39,654 I'm sorry. I gotta go. 691 00:45:41,531 --> 00:45:43,158 Bucky, are you all right? 692 00:45:43,325 --> 00:45:45,535 Yeah, I'm okay. 693 00:45:45,911 --> 00:45:47,579 Bucky. 694 00:45:53,293 --> 00:45:57,047 Hey, Miles, baby. I'll do a movie for you. 695 00:45:57,923 --> 00:45:59,841 I'm hung like a cooker spaniel. 696 00:46:01,509 --> 00:46:06,097 - Cooker spaniel is not a big dog. - Yeah, but it's nice and soft. 697 00:46:06,264 --> 00:46:07,682 With cuddly eyes. 698 00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:10,101 Your dick has cuddly eyes? 699 00:46:10,936 --> 00:46:14,856 You know what I mean. You know what the fuck I mean. 700 00:46:17,108 --> 00:46:18,777 Fuck you! 701 00:46:27,494 --> 00:46:29,454 Did you eat one of my grapes? 702 00:46:29,621 --> 00:46:33,208 Is that why you're crying, you son of a bitch? 703 00:46:33,375 --> 00:46:35,210 You're pathetic. 704 00:46:44,678 --> 00:46:48,640 What the fuck is with the forwarding of all the videos? 705 00:46:49,891 --> 00:46:52,102 What did my mom send me? 706 00:46:54,729 --> 00:46:56,231 What the fuck? 707 00:46:56,398 --> 00:46:58,358 I uploaded it on YouPube.net. 708 00:46:58,525 --> 00:47:01,319 It's gotten almost a million hits in three days. 709 00:47:02,696 --> 00:47:03,738 - You're kidding. - No. 710 00:47:03,905 --> 00:47:07,492 All my friends watched it with their girls and they all got laid afterwards. 711 00:47:08,076 --> 00:47:09,619 Right. 712 00:47:10,704 --> 00:47:12,539 The guys aren't threatened. 713 00:47:12,706 --> 00:47:16,376 And the girls think they've got a prize compared to Bucky. 714 00:47:20,422 --> 00:47:22,882 Every small dick out there has been waiting for this. 715 00:47:23,717 --> 00:47:24,759 How do you know that? 716 00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:27,679 Let's stay focused. 717 00:47:28,430 --> 00:47:29,764 This is a good angle. 718 00:47:33,059 --> 00:47:36,438 I'm just saying, I've never been fully filled up on camera before. 719 00:47:36,604 --> 00:47:39,858 You're saying you have more inches to your torpedo? 720 00:47:40,025 --> 00:47:41,067 At least five more. 721 00:47:41,568 --> 00:47:44,904 - We could blow some minds. - And more loads. 722 00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:50,452 - J. Day. - Hey, Miles, come in. 723 00:47:50,618 --> 00:47:52,829 - How's it going, buddy? - Good, good. 724 00:47:52,996 --> 00:47:54,622 Do you know Dick Shadow? 725 00:47:54,789 --> 00:47:56,875 - Yeah. It's been a while. - Yeah. 726 00:47:57,042 --> 00:47:59,252 Yeah, well, you've been busy. 727 00:48:00,587 --> 00:48:02,630 Yeah, Nice. Miles, is that the DVD? 728 00:48:03,506 --> 00:48:05,133 Right there. 729 00:48:05,300 --> 00:48:08,553 Miles called me about discovering the new heat in porn. 730 00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:12,140 Really? I didn't know porn needed heating up. 731 00:48:13,641 --> 00:48:15,518 Do you mind if I sit in on this, J. Day? 732 00:48:15,685 --> 00:48:17,645 - Yeah, yeah, yes, of course. - Yeah. 733 00:48:17,812 --> 00:48:19,814 Stay and check it out. Have a seat, Miles. 734 00:48:19,981 --> 00:48:22,233 - Make yourself comfy. - Okay. Thanks. 735 00:48:31,659 --> 00:48:33,912 I know who that guy is. 736 00:48:42,921 --> 00:48:46,633 - Does he have pussy? - Wait, wait, wait. 737 00:48:51,679 --> 00:48:54,015 Wait a minute here. 738 00:48:54,182 --> 00:48:56,518 What...? What's he turning into, a werewolf? 739 00:48:56,684 --> 00:48:59,771 He's got quite the squirt gun, huh? 740 00:49:06,194 --> 00:49:07,946 Well, what do you think? 741 00:49:08,113 --> 00:49:10,156 I mean, the guy can spunk like a monkey... 742 00:49:10,323 --> 00:49:12,951 but his face is a nightmare with the teeth. 743 00:49:13,409 --> 00:49:16,496 He should not be on camera. You're pulling my nuts, huh? 744 00:49:16,663 --> 00:49:18,957 - This a joke? - No. 745 00:49:19,124 --> 00:49:22,043 This thing was all over the Internet. 746 00:49:22,210 --> 00:49:26,381 It was the most e-mailed clip of the week on YouPube.net. 747 00:49:26,548 --> 00:49:30,844 Yes, of course it was. This guy's like Muppet with clown-flower spray-penis. 748 00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:33,221 But this isn't porno, man. 749 00:49:33,388 --> 00:49:36,391 Porn is to fantasize about the cook you wish you had. 750 00:49:36,558 --> 00:49:39,060 Or wish was in your wife's hand or ass crack. 751 00:49:39,978 --> 00:49:44,482 But it's also about the cock you're glad you don't have. 752 00:49:46,151 --> 00:49:49,529 I know it's different, but this could be something... 753 00:49:49,696 --> 00:49:50,989 really groundbreaking. 754 00:49:51,948 --> 00:49:55,702 J. Day, you got to give this a shot. 755 00:49:56,161 --> 00:49:58,997 You know what? I want to do several shots of tequila... 756 00:49:59,164 --> 00:50:03,668 black out, and forget I ever saw the rat face and mouse pee-pee. 757 00:50:05,420 --> 00:50:09,215 Listen, I'm really sorry, Miles. What can I do? 758 00:50:09,757 --> 00:50:12,010 - I'm sorry, buddy. - Okay. 759 00:50:13,553 --> 00:50:17,182 Take it easy, broheim. Relax. Go home, wax your asshole. 760 00:50:19,767 --> 00:50:22,020 I feel bad turning my back on him. 761 00:50:22,187 --> 00:50:25,648 But he's a mess with the pills and the ex-wives and the: 762 00:50:29,611 --> 00:50:32,864 - Are you into pills too? - No, it's just a little Viagra. 763 00:50:33,198 --> 00:50:35,074 I'm going to the mall. 764 00:50:37,744 --> 00:50:39,120 Jeez. 765 00:50:40,622 --> 00:50:42,457 Are you sure you wanna do this, Miles? 766 00:50:42,624 --> 00:50:45,293 My professor said you should never invest your own money. 767 00:50:45,460 --> 00:50:49,047 Yeah? And where is your professor? 768 00:50:49,214 --> 00:50:53,134 In the classroom, teaching a bunch of dick-divers. 769 00:50:53,301 --> 00:50:56,304 I'm a fucking artist and the movies always come first. 770 00:50:56,471 --> 00:50:59,724 Not money, not happiness, the movies. 771 00:51:00,350 --> 00:51:02,977 You know who knows that? My first wife, my second wife... 772 00:51:03,144 --> 00:51:05,355 my fourth wife, and my ninth wife. 773 00:51:06,105 --> 00:51:08,066 Plus, I just got approved for a loan. 774 00:51:09,442 --> 00:51:10,985 What bank gave you a loan? 775 00:51:11,152 --> 00:51:14,405 The bank of the Vietnamese mafia. 776 00:51:19,035 --> 00:51:20,828 I just got off a night shoot. 777 00:51:20,995 --> 00:51:24,666 I wrapped another movie like an hour ago and I come right over. 778 00:51:24,832 --> 00:51:28,169 You know, you should get some sleep, thought. Sleep is really important. 779 00:51:28,336 --> 00:51:30,672 My mom said everyone should have nine hours a day. 780 00:51:30,838 --> 00:51:33,841 Nine hours would be good. I love work, you know... 781 00:51:34,008 --> 00:51:35,677 What the fuck are you doing? 782 00:51:35,843 --> 00:51:39,013 - I was just trying to fix his hair. - But who told you to do that? 783 00:51:39,180 --> 00:51:41,641 - I thought... - I don't give a shit what you thought. 784 00:51:41,808 --> 00:51:44,852 I don't want him to look good. I want him to look natural. 785 00:51:45,687 --> 00:51:47,689 But he looks horrible. 786 00:51:48,523 --> 00:51:50,108 Get the fuck out. 787 00:51:51,234 --> 00:51:53,194 Get the fuck out. 788 00:51:55,405 --> 00:51:57,615 - How are you feeling, Bucky? - I'm good. 789 00:51:57,782 --> 00:52:00,159 I think he was trying to be nice. He was tired... 790 00:52:00,326 --> 00:52:02,370 Who cares? Fuck him. He's getting paid. 791 00:52:02,537 --> 00:52:05,206 I want to talk to you about the scene we're about to shoot. 792 00:52:05,373 --> 00:52:07,625 - Oh, yeah. Okay, good. - Okay. 793 00:52:07,792 --> 00:52:11,796 You're a paperboy. And you've been delivering papers all day long. 794 00:52:11,963 --> 00:52:14,048 And you're hot. And you're tired. 795 00:52:14,215 --> 00:52:16,843 You've been up and down the streets, throwing the papers. 796 00:52:17,010 --> 00:52:20,221 And you need an ice cream. 797 00:52:20,930 --> 00:52:22,181 Oh, boy. 798 00:52:23,016 --> 00:52:24,142 What? 799 00:52:25,018 --> 00:52:26,728 I never delivered a paper in my life. 800 00:52:26,894 --> 00:52:29,814 I'm so sorry. I should have told you. I just didn't even think. 801 00:52:29,981 --> 00:52:32,191 I didn't have a paper route in the neighborhood. 802 00:52:32,358 --> 00:52:34,777 I mowed the lawns. You want to make it lawn mowing... 803 00:52:34,944 --> 00:52:37,780 It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. 804 00:52:38,656 --> 00:52:43,036 Oh, God. I love it that you care about the details. 805 00:52:43,202 --> 00:52:45,747 - Yeah. - Did we powder Blueberry's tits? 806 00:52:46,748 --> 00:52:49,417 - Not yet. - Well, why the fuck not? 807 00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:51,085 Yo, fruit bat. 808 00:52:52,545 --> 00:52:54,213 - Where the fuck are you going? - What? 809 00:52:54,380 --> 00:52:57,091 - I thought you said... - Fuck you, what I thought. 810 00:52:57,258 --> 00:53:00,219 Powder her tits. Do something right today. 811 00:53:03,765 --> 00:53:05,850 Excuse me, ma'am. Could you wait one second? 812 00:53:06,017 --> 00:53:08,394 - For what? - We're shooting a movie. 813 00:53:09,896 --> 00:53:12,607 Who's the star, Judge Reinhold? 814 00:53:17,820 --> 00:53:20,281 Is it a monster movie? 815 00:53:20,448 --> 00:53:25,453 - And er-action. - Oh, er-action. Bucky, go. Go, go, go. 816 00:53:29,499 --> 00:53:31,084 Hey, ma'am, I got your paper. 817 00:53:31,250 --> 00:53:34,128 You can leave the paper on the counter. 818 00:53:37,590 --> 00:53:39,509 - I got it right. - I saw it. 819 00:53:39,675 --> 00:53:40,718 Don't look at me. 820 00:53:44,514 --> 00:53:47,433 I have a problem, paperboy. 821 00:53:49,435 --> 00:53:51,813 Maybe you can help me. 822 00:53:51,979 --> 00:53:53,314 I have a sundae... 823 00:53:54,565 --> 00:53:58,820 but it needs nuts and cream on it. 824 00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:02,448 Oh, no. Here, let me help. I'll just get my scooper out. 825 00:54:08,579 --> 00:54:11,332 - That's it? - It's average. 826 00:54:11,833 --> 00:54:16,963 Boy, my sugar cones could really use some air. 827 00:54:37,275 --> 00:54:40,611 Cut! That was great, Bucky. 828 00:54:40,778 --> 00:54:44,198 - It was? - It was. 829 00:54:44,365 --> 00:54:46,242 Do you got another one in you? Good. 830 00:54:46,409 --> 00:54:48,536 That was great. Good job. 831 00:54:48,870 --> 00:54:50,580 Hi, Blueberry, do you need a rag? 832 00:54:50,746 --> 00:54:54,542 I saw it come out, but I didn't get any on me. 833 00:54:54,709 --> 00:54:56,711 There's some on my shoe. 834 00:54:56,878 --> 00:54:59,380 I wouldn't eat that. 835 00:54:59,547 --> 00:55:00,715 Okay, you can walk now. 836 00:55:00,882 --> 00:55:02,884 Thanks, but I'm gonna send you a bill... 837 00:55:03,050 --> 00:55:06,053 for this bird poop on my shoulder. 838 00:55:18,649 --> 00:55:22,236 So there it is. The future. 839 00:55:23,404 --> 00:55:25,072 I wanted you all to see it first... 840 00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,034 because you're the best distributors in the business. 841 00:55:28,201 --> 00:55:30,328 And I value your opinion. 842 00:55:30,495 --> 00:55:32,246 And we're looking for a modest deal... 843 00:55:32,413 --> 00:55:36,042 foreign and domestic. Any questions? 844 00:55:37,043 --> 00:55:40,755 - Yeah, Eddie. - Miles, are you fucking kidding us? 845 00:55:40,922 --> 00:55:43,716 - What? - That didn't even get me half hard. 846 00:55:43,883 --> 00:55:46,636 It actually got my dick to go back inside me... 847 00:55:46,802 --> 00:55:49,805 and it's pointed towards my stomach. 848 00:55:50,097 --> 00:55:51,724 And it hurts. 849 00:55:51,891 --> 00:55:53,309 It's a new style. 850 00:55:53,476 --> 00:55:57,188 But, Eddie, this is going to catch on. 851 00:55:57,355 --> 00:55:59,357 How did he lose his penis? 852 00:55:59,524 --> 00:56:01,067 Was it a hunting accident? 853 00:56:03,110 --> 00:56:07,406 Miles, where'd you find a buck-tooth dyke with a clit that big? 854 00:56:13,955 --> 00:56:15,122 Unbelievable. 855 00:56:16,624 --> 00:56:17,792 So that went good? 856 00:56:26,217 --> 00:56:28,302 Who's taller? 857 00:56:28,469 --> 00:56:29,804 He is. 858 00:56:29,971 --> 00:56:31,597 Okay. All right, well, wait. 859 00:56:33,391 --> 00:56:35,810 - Now, who's taller? - He is. 860 00:56:37,061 --> 00:56:39,855 Look, Bucky, I'm a parade float. 861 00:56:40,314 --> 00:56:42,191 Oh, my gosh. 862 00:56:45,778 --> 00:56:48,906 I don't know what those distribution guys were talking about, Bucky. 863 00:56:49,073 --> 00:56:52,577 I thought you were totally adorable and charming in that paperboy movie. 864 00:56:52,743 --> 00:56:54,996 Really? Thanks. 865 00:56:55,162 --> 00:56:57,164 Yeah, I just got to keep on believing. 866 00:56:57,331 --> 00:57:00,084 You know, this town is really testing me. 867 00:57:00,251 --> 00:57:03,588 Yeah. And you know what's funny? 868 00:57:03,754 --> 00:57:05,506 Clowns? 869 00:57:05,798 --> 00:57:08,092 Yes, but, you know, in your videos... 870 00:57:08,259 --> 00:57:11,345 you never actually have sex with the girls. 871 00:57:13,014 --> 00:57:17,143 Yeah, I've never really done that before, so I don't know. 872 00:57:17,310 --> 00:57:20,187 Yeah. No. 873 00:57:22,607 --> 00:57:25,026 - Can I take a picture? - All right. How's my hair? 874 00:57:25,192 --> 00:57:27,612 Very GQ. Very good. 875 00:57:28,321 --> 00:57:30,364 No way. I don't believe this. 876 00:57:30,531 --> 00:57:33,451 I've seen all the shit in here, but that is not real. 877 00:57:33,618 --> 00:57:35,369 - Hi. - Whoa, shit. 878 00:57:35,536 --> 00:57:38,331 I'm sorry, man. You're real. Okay. 879 00:57:38,497 --> 00:57:40,374 They pay you to glue those chopsticks on? 880 00:57:40,541 --> 00:57:43,294 - To glue what sticks? - Baby, I don't think he works here. 881 00:57:43,461 --> 00:57:45,171 I don't care. If those are real... 882 00:57:45,338 --> 00:57:48,591 then I gotta get a picture with the beaver man. Here, watch this. 883 00:57:49,425 --> 00:57:53,554 All right, leave it to my man, beaver. Look at you, brother. 884 00:57:53,721 --> 00:57:56,390 You could tear up a carrot. Look at that. 885 00:57:56,557 --> 00:57:57,683 Thanks. 886 00:58:04,482 --> 00:58:07,109 Are my teeth really that weird? 887 00:58:07,276 --> 00:58:09,904 No. Not at all. 888 00:58:10,071 --> 00:58:12,323 They just have character. 889 00:58:12,531 --> 00:58:13,908 - Really? - Yeah. 890 00:58:14,075 --> 00:58:15,534 Thanks, Kathy. 891 00:58:15,701 --> 00:58:18,412 No. It cannot be. 892 00:58:21,499 --> 00:58:23,042 Yeah, they're real. 893 00:58:23,209 --> 00:58:25,670 You are him? Bucky from the Internet? 894 00:58:25,836 --> 00:58:27,588 You spray from your nest. 895 00:58:27,755 --> 00:58:29,757 Yeah, that's me. 896 00:58:29,924 --> 00:58:35,054 Your video was beautiful, inspiring. 897 00:58:38,057 --> 00:58:39,975 It was such a big help to me and my wife. 898 00:58:40,142 --> 00:58:44,230 She had grown tired of my Water Wiggle... 899 00:58:44,397 --> 00:58:48,609 but you renewed her joy in my rod. 900 00:58:48,776 --> 00:58:52,613 - Thank you so much. - Yeah, my pleasure. That's great. 901 00:58:52,780 --> 00:58:55,783 Listen, I have a restaurant called Chop. 902 00:58:55,950 --> 00:58:57,743 It is an Italian steakhouse. 903 00:58:57,910 --> 00:59:00,454 You come in, I'll give you the meal of your lifetime. 904 00:59:01,330 --> 00:59:03,165 - What? - I know Chop. 905 00:59:03,332 --> 00:59:06,544 You got nine-and-a-half stars out of 10 in Restaurant Magazine. 906 00:59:06,711 --> 00:59:10,297 The only Los Angeles restaurant to do that in four years. 907 00:59:10,464 --> 00:59:14,093 Their chef, Alfred DuPont, flies in stone crab claws... 908 00:59:14,260 --> 00:59:16,679 fresh from Florida every day. 909 00:59:16,846 --> 00:59:19,640 And he's also cultivated the largest wine selection... 910 00:59:19,807 --> 00:59:22,309 in all of southern California. And he's a Libra. 911 00:59:22,476 --> 00:59:24,270 Wow, how do you know this? 912 00:59:25,813 --> 00:59:27,565 I'm a food fan. 913 00:59:27,732 --> 00:59:29,817 Kathy's like the best waitress in the world. 914 00:59:29,984 --> 00:59:30,985 Where do you work? 915 00:59:33,070 --> 00:59:35,322 She's talking to a couple places. 916 00:59:36,365 --> 00:59:39,660 You come in to Chop on Friday, you ask for Dominic. 917 00:59:39,827 --> 00:59:42,705 I'll see if we got any openings. 918 00:59:42,872 --> 00:59:45,291 - Thank you so much. - Thank you. 919 00:59:50,463 --> 00:59:51,505 Oh, my God. 920 00:59:52,173 --> 00:59:53,799 Bucky. 921 00:59:54,341 --> 00:59:57,011 Wow, your head is full of so many food facts. 922 00:59:58,512 --> 01:00:01,182 But, Bucky, I can't. 923 01:00:03,100 --> 01:00:07,021 The old woman. I burned somebody. 924 01:00:07,188 --> 01:00:10,858 Listen to me. That was an accident. 925 01:00:11,025 --> 01:00:12,276 You can do this. 926 01:00:12,860 --> 01:00:15,488 Come on, you can't keep working in that stupid diner... 927 01:00:15,654 --> 01:00:19,033 getting tipped in Monopoly money and belly-button lint. 928 01:00:22,036 --> 01:00:25,915 I know it's hard, but I'll help you. 929 01:00:26,081 --> 01:00:28,209 We can do this. 930 01:00:33,839 --> 01:00:37,176 - Video or the teeth? - Teeth. 931 01:00:40,221 --> 01:00:44,683 Oh, no, no. We gotta have six or eight of those before you get the fire started. 932 01:00:44,850 --> 01:00:46,519 What's the big whoop-de-doo, Miles? 933 01:00:46,685 --> 01:00:48,354 Bucky. 934 01:00:48,521 --> 01:00:52,650 Hey. Hey, what's the deal with your roommate? 935 01:00:52,817 --> 01:00:55,277 You can't talk on the phone for more than 20 seconds... 936 01:00:55,444 --> 01:00:57,196 or else he'll burn your pubes off? 937 01:00:57,363 --> 01:01:01,075 Oh, yeah, I know. Gary just had a rough day. He's got diarrhea. 938 01:01:01,242 --> 01:01:03,577 You keep pubes. 939 01:01:04,245 --> 01:01:06,455 Anyway, great news. 940 01:01:06,622 --> 01:01:09,834 We set up a link so that people could buy our latest piece of work... 941 01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:11,919 - and guess what. - What? 942 01:01:12,086 --> 01:01:13,879 It's selling like a mofo. 943 01:01:14,046 --> 01:01:15,548 Hot dog. 944 01:01:15,714 --> 01:01:18,425 Not only did we make all of our money back... 945 01:01:18,592 --> 01:01:22,263 the Vietnamese guys have offered to finance a couple more pictures for us. 946 01:01:22,763 --> 01:01:25,599 - No fooling? - Fuck fooling. 947 01:01:25,766 --> 01:01:28,936 You were right. You were born to be a star. 948 01:01:29,103 --> 01:01:32,690 This is... I gotta call my folks. 949 01:01:32,857 --> 01:01:36,026 I have to tell Kathy. I'm gonna call Kathy? My gosh. And my folks... 950 01:01:36,193 --> 01:01:38,487 You do that and we're going to party. 951 01:01:39,113 --> 01:01:42,283 - Oh, shit. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. 952 01:02:42,927 --> 01:02:47,181 Where the fuck do I put my grapes now, you insensitive bastard? 953 01:03:07,201 --> 01:03:09,995 I'm an old lady and I love soup. 954 01:03:23,425 --> 01:03:27,012 - I did it. - You did it! I knew you could! 955 01:03:27,179 --> 01:03:28,806 Bucky! 956 01:03:44,405 --> 01:03:46,824 There you go. Enjoy the brain sparkle. 957 01:03:46,991 --> 01:03:51,203 - Next. - We are just so excited to meet you. 958 01:03:51,370 --> 01:03:54,456 I mean, for so long, our relationship was really off. 959 01:03:54,623 --> 01:03:55,916 It was just shit. 960 01:03:56,583 --> 01:03:58,544 My boyfriend's got a really small dick. 961 01:03:58,711 --> 01:04:01,255 Like, no meat on it. And it really bothered me. 962 01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:03,882 I was kind of used to being with guys... 963 01:04:04,049 --> 01:04:06,427 with big-to-huge dicks before I met him. 964 01:04:06,593 --> 01:04:08,804 I thought dicks were supposed to be like that... 965 01:04:08,971 --> 01:04:10,931 with fatness and length and whatever. 966 01:04:11,098 --> 01:04:13,267 When Allen would ask me to blow him, I was like: 967 01:04:13,434 --> 01:04:16,770 "Keep that fucking gross niblet away from me." 968 01:04:16,937 --> 01:04:19,273 But then when I saw your dick... 969 01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:22,943 it was like a rebirth, a new beginning. 970 01:04:23,861 --> 01:04:26,196 I watched the whole video and I thought... 971 01:04:26,363 --> 01:04:29,575 maybe I do have something great with Allen after all. 972 01:04:29,742 --> 01:04:32,494 Compared to you, he's gigantic. 973 01:04:32,661 --> 01:04:35,414 I mean, you make me look like I got a big dick. 974 01:04:36,582 --> 01:04:39,293 So anyways, we've been fucking a lot. 975 01:04:39,460 --> 01:04:42,463 And I can't ride his dick because I always fall right off. 976 01:04:42,629 --> 01:04:45,966 But he's been dogging me and I don't know, I can kind of feel it... 977 01:04:46,133 --> 01:04:49,803 or it's his pubes bumping up against my sandbar, but whatever. 978 01:04:49,970 --> 01:04:53,599 At least we're doing it, connecting. 979 01:04:53,766 --> 01:04:55,434 Just, thank you. 980 01:04:55,809 --> 01:04:58,062 Yeah. Thank you. 981 01:04:58,228 --> 01:05:00,272 Changing lives. 982 01:05:01,273 --> 01:05:03,817 Our next guest went from being an Internet sensation... 983 01:05:03,984 --> 01:05:07,654 to getting the most nominations in the history of adult film. 984 01:05:07,821 --> 01:05:10,199 This should be good. 985 01:05:11,492 --> 01:05:14,161 Please welcome Bucky Larson, everybody. 986 01:05:18,832 --> 01:05:21,585 No! You fucking prick! 987 01:05:24,797 --> 01:05:28,801 You don't look like the average porn star. 988 01:05:28,967 --> 01:05:31,845 Oh, yeah, because I'm wearing a sweater. 989 01:05:53,033 --> 01:05:54,159 Blueberry's with me. 990 01:05:58,914 --> 01:06:00,207 Bucky. 991 01:06:03,127 --> 01:06:04,545 Another shot, Bucky. 992 01:06:07,548 --> 01:06:08,632 Bucky... 993 01:06:11,135 --> 01:06:12,177 It's Bucky. 994 01:06:13,554 --> 01:06:15,305 - Is that him? - Hey, Bucky. 995 01:06:15,472 --> 01:06:17,099 God, he's here. 996 01:06:17,266 --> 01:06:20,310 Miles. It's great to see you, Miles. Hello. 997 01:06:20,477 --> 01:06:25,399 Your vision with Bucky? I didn't see it, but you did. 998 01:06:25,566 --> 01:06:29,027 You turned a Tic Tao into a gold mine. 999 01:06:30,070 --> 01:06:32,030 - Well, here he is. - Hey, how are you? 1000 01:06:32,197 --> 01:06:33,699 Hello, it's great to meet you. 1001 01:06:33,866 --> 01:06:35,033 - Hello, beautiful. - Hello. 1002 01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:37,744 Yes, you can have a seat here. Be my guest. 1003 01:06:37,911 --> 01:06:40,247 And you know Rosie Bush and Jim Spraysium. 1004 01:06:40,414 --> 01:06:41,707 - Of course. - Bucky's parents. 1005 01:06:41,874 --> 01:06:43,041 Hi, how are you? 1006 01:06:43,208 --> 01:06:46,503 Your movies were like my Batman growing up. 1007 01:06:46,920 --> 01:06:49,923 - How sweet. - Batman? That's swell. I love Batman. 1008 01:06:50,090 --> 01:06:51,425 - Have a seat. - Thanks so much. 1009 01:06:51,592 --> 01:06:54,344 - Hey, Dick. Good to see you again. - Good to see you too. 1010 01:06:54,511 --> 01:06:56,597 Congratulations on winning Best "Newcomer." 1011 01:06:56,763 --> 01:06:59,766 What? Are we late? Did we miss an award? 1012 01:06:59,933 --> 01:07:02,853 - No, no, but you'll get that one. - How do you know? 1013 01:07:03,896 --> 01:07:05,939 That's the only award I can't win. 1014 01:07:07,316 --> 01:07:10,110 - Who's the pretty girl? - Oh, this is Kathy. 1015 01:07:10,277 --> 01:07:12,738 She's my girl... Neighbor. 1016 01:07:13,822 --> 01:07:20,120 Friend. She lives by me. I like her a lot. She's a girl. Lady. 1017 01:07:20,787 --> 01:07:22,706 I'm Bucky's girlfriend. 1018 01:07:25,584 --> 01:07:29,296 Welcome to the 15th annual Adult Film Awards. 1019 01:07:29,463 --> 01:07:32,966 And here's your host, Pauly Shore. 1020 01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:36,136 What? I love Pauly. 1021 01:07:38,096 --> 01:07:40,641 The first award is Best "Newcomer." 1022 01:07:41,099 --> 01:07:43,310 Which is great because it's something you get... 1023 01:07:43,477 --> 01:07:45,395 before the herpes and hep-C kick in. 1024 01:07:45,812 --> 01:07:48,482 'I QOt herpes! 'l Qot hep-C! 1025 01:07:48,649 --> 01:07:51,818 And your nominees are Steven Storm. 1026 01:07:53,779 --> 01:07:56,406 - Mike Thunder. - Yeah, Mike! 1027 01:07:56,573 --> 01:07:59,451 Jeffrey Lightning. 1028 01:08:01,495 --> 01:08:04,915 And a new kid who's making quite a splash around here lately. 1029 01:08:05,082 --> 01:08:06,124 Bucky Larson. 1030 01:08:10,712 --> 01:08:11,797 And the winner is... 1031 01:08:13,006 --> 01:08:14,841 Holy shit, Bucky Larson. 1032 01:08:40,033 --> 01:08:42,452 I've never held a trophy before. 1033 01:08:42,619 --> 01:08:44,204 Or given a speech. 1034 01:08:44,621 --> 01:08:48,667 I want to thank my director, Miles Deep, for making my movies. 1035 01:08:48,834 --> 01:08:50,877 And for saying I could be a paperboy... 1036 01:08:51,044 --> 01:08:53,714 when I swear I've never delivered a paper in my life. 1037 01:08:55,882 --> 01:08:57,718 Also... 1038 01:08:58,719 --> 01:09:01,388 to my girlfriend, Kathy. 1039 01:09:05,559 --> 01:09:07,561 Who made sure I didn't sleep in the bushes. 1040 01:09:08,270 --> 01:09:10,981 And to my folks. 1041 01:09:11,732 --> 01:09:15,235 You are my inspiration and my heroes. 1042 01:09:16,320 --> 01:09:20,324 I thought I was going to bag groceries till I was gray in the hair. 1043 01:09:22,409 --> 01:09:26,621 But you showed me that you can have dreams. 1044 01:09:26,788 --> 01:09:33,587 And that dreams can make your downstairs explode with magic. 1045 01:09:36,757 --> 01:09:41,345 Thank you. I love you so much. 1046 01:09:50,604 --> 01:09:55,108 Okay. That's out of the way. Now is when I cast my shadow. 1047 01:09:55,484 --> 01:09:59,696 And the award for biggest load goes to... 1048 01:10:01,114 --> 01:10:02,240 Bucky Larson! 1049 01:10:13,877 --> 01:10:15,962 Everyone in Iowa, I love you! 1050 01:10:17,464 --> 01:10:19,800 The award for Best Bush goes to... 1051 01:10:20,467 --> 01:10:21,468 Come on. 1052 01:10:22,135 --> 01:10:23,261 Bucky Larson. 1053 01:10:25,222 --> 01:10:28,141 I told you not to shave completely down there. 1054 01:10:28,308 --> 01:10:30,435 You have too many moles. 1055 01:10:31,228 --> 01:10:33,188 To my roommate, Gary, who always said: 1056 01:10:33,355 --> 01:10:34,981 "Don't shit where you shower." 1057 01:10:36,441 --> 01:10:38,985 Am I in the fucking Twilight Zone? 1058 01:10:39,152 --> 01:10:42,072 - Bucky Larson! - Bucky Larson. 1059 01:10:42,239 --> 01:10:46,827 - Bucky Larson. - Bucky Larson. 1060 01:10:48,328 --> 01:10:50,789 - Bucky Larson. - Bucky Larson. 1061 01:10:50,956 --> 01:10:56,378 - Bucky Larson! - Best taint is... 1062 01:10:56,837 --> 01:10:58,505 Bucky Larson. 1063 01:10:58,672 --> 01:11:01,800 This is wild stuff, man. Exciting. 1064 01:11:02,676 --> 01:11:05,011 I don't even know what a taint is. 1065 01:11:06,138 --> 01:11:09,474 But if I have the best one, that's because of my mother. 1066 01:11:11,143 --> 01:11:13,520 Bucky. Buck. 1067 01:11:13,854 --> 01:11:16,690 You're not nominated for best tits. Come with me. 1068 01:11:16,857 --> 01:11:20,026 - I want you to meet some people. - Okay. Are you gonna be all right? 1069 01:11:20,193 --> 01:11:23,196 - Yeah. Yeah, go do your thing. - Are you sure? I'll be right back. 1070 01:11:26,158 --> 01:11:29,161 - Quite a night. - Yeah. 1071 01:11:30,203 --> 01:11:31,830 This is crazy. 1072 01:11:31,997 --> 01:11:34,124 So tell me... 1073 01:11:34,291 --> 01:11:37,043 a guy like Bucky, what are his tricks? 1074 01:11:38,587 --> 01:11:41,298 - What do you mean? - You know, in the bedroom. 1075 01:11:41,590 --> 01:11:43,425 He's gotta have something up his sleeve. 1076 01:11:43,592 --> 01:11:46,052 He surely doesn't have anything in his pants. 1077 01:11:46,761 --> 01:11:48,722 Well, that's Bucky's personal business... 1078 01:11:48,889 --> 01:11:51,641 and I don't really think it's any concern of yours. 1079 01:11:53,977 --> 01:11:56,897 So you don't even know? You two haven't? 1080 01:11:58,899 --> 01:12:02,569 In that case, I really think you need to spend a night in the shadow. 1081 01:12:03,737 --> 01:12:05,614 I'm already in the shadow. 1082 01:12:05,780 --> 01:12:08,533 The shadow of the 11 awards Bucky's won tonight. 1083 01:12:09,284 --> 01:12:11,745 He's already tied your record, right? 1084 01:12:11,912 --> 01:12:14,831 And I believe we have one more award to go. 1085 01:12:14,998 --> 01:12:17,918 So thanks. 1086 01:12:21,254 --> 01:12:25,175 I don't care what they said. I have the best taint and everybody knows it. 1087 01:12:27,093 --> 01:12:31,848 And now for the winner of the most prestigious award of the night. 1088 01:12:32,015 --> 01:12:34,601 Male Genitals of the Year. 1089 01:12:38,104 --> 01:12:39,564 And the winner... 1090 01:12:39,731 --> 01:12:44,110 and the new record-holder of 12 Adult Film awards... 1091 01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:47,280 Bucky Larson! 1092 01:13:32,993 --> 01:13:34,995 So I asked Miles if he wanted to hang out... 1093 01:13:35,161 --> 01:13:38,665 but he said he got an eight ball. So I guess he's gonna go play pool. 1094 01:13:44,671 --> 01:13:49,301 So it's pretty cool that we both won awards on the same night. 1095 01:13:50,010 --> 01:13:52,679 What do you mean, "we"? I didn't win anything. 1096 01:13:52,846 --> 01:13:54,347 Oh, yeah, you didn't hear? 1097 01:14:01,313 --> 01:14:02,856 What the heck is this? 1098 01:14:03,273 --> 01:14:06,192 Open it. This is your award ceremony. 1099 01:14:07,027 --> 01:14:09,029 Bucky, you didn't have to give me anything. 1100 01:14:09,779 --> 01:14:12,324 I didn't. You won it. 1101 01:14:13,325 --> 01:14:19,456 And now, for waitress of the year or millennium, Kathy McGee! 1102 01:14:23,168 --> 01:14:25,754 Oh, flip it over, read the back. 1103 01:14:27,047 --> 01:14:30,175 "Congratulations to the best waitress in the world. 1104 01:14:30,342 --> 01:14:33,219 Nobody carries food better." 1105 01:14:35,722 --> 01:14:37,474 That's you. 1106 01:14:38,099 --> 01:14:41,186 I didn't plan on winning anything tonight, so, you know, I just... 1107 01:14:41,353 --> 01:14:45,315 - I thought you should get a trophy. - Thank you, Bucky. 1108 01:14:45,482 --> 01:14:49,903 You know, I've never won anything before. 1109 01:14:50,654 --> 01:14:56,034 I've never been to any fancy award shows and... 1110 01:14:57,744 --> 01:15:00,538 I've never had a guy treat me like a star. 1111 01:15:02,666 --> 01:15:06,920 And I've never had anyone believe in me the way that you do. 1112 01:15:07,420 --> 01:15:10,757 Yeah, of course. You deserve it, Kathy. 1113 01:15:23,436 --> 01:15:27,357 - What is that for? - For being you. 1114 01:15:30,276 --> 01:15:33,363 You know, Bucky, I was thinking... 1115 01:15:34,406 --> 01:15:38,118 since you've never done it with any of the girls in your videos... 1116 01:15:38,284 --> 01:15:43,248 and, you know, I've never done it, either... 1117 01:15:45,041 --> 01:15:47,752 I was thinking that maybe we could do it together. 1118 01:15:47,919 --> 01:15:53,133 - So you're a Virgo too? - Yeah. 1119 01:15:55,135 --> 01:15:58,680 But if we're going to do this, then we have to be careful, okay? 1120 01:15:58,847 --> 01:16:01,099 My mother said that protection... 1121 01:16:01,266 --> 01:16:03,476 is just as important for you as it is for me. 1122 01:16:03,643 --> 01:16:04,936 Yeah, sure, sure. 1123 01:16:05,437 --> 01:16:10,108 - Okay. Do you have any protection? - Do I have a knife? 1124 01:16:38,636 --> 01:16:40,346 Try that. 1125 01:16:54,986 --> 01:16:56,321 It fits. 1126 01:17:09,834 --> 01:17:11,961 You've got hair too. 1127 01:17:32,398 --> 01:17:34,067 Kathy? 1128 01:17:37,570 --> 01:17:40,573 Kathy? Where are you, sweet pea? 1129 01:17:41,241 --> 01:17:42,909 There you are. 1130 01:17:43,076 --> 01:17:47,372 Good morning. Look at you, carrying a tray like a pro. 1131 01:17:47,539 --> 01:17:50,583 - It's not a big deal. - Kathy... 1132 01:17:51,668 --> 01:17:53,753 That was so great last night. 1133 01:17:54,170 --> 01:17:56,422 With all the kissing and the cuddling... 1134 01:17:57,090 --> 01:18:00,176 and the pushing and the bumping. 1135 01:18:01,427 --> 01:18:03,721 That was the best night of my life. 1136 01:18:03,930 --> 01:18:05,890 And I'm not even talking about the awards. 1137 01:18:06,224 --> 01:18:10,061 I could care less about that. I'm talking about... 1138 01:18:10,228 --> 01:18:12,230 just being with you. 1139 01:18:13,439 --> 01:18:17,944 Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty cool, I guess. 1140 01:18:20,113 --> 01:18:24,117 You know, Bucky, I've been thinking about it... 1141 01:18:24,701 --> 01:18:29,789 and last night was really fun and everything... 1142 01:18:29,956 --> 01:18:35,420 and I just think, you know, since it was my first time... 1143 01:18:35,587 --> 01:18:39,465 that I should explore all my options. 1144 01:18:41,968 --> 01:18:46,890 Just really get out there and have other experiences with other guys. 1145 01:18:47,473 --> 01:18:49,976 Other-J? Other guys? 1146 01:18:50,351 --> 01:18:53,146 But I only want to do that with you. 1147 01:18:53,313 --> 01:18:56,524 Yeah. We're not married, Bucky. 1148 01:18:56,691 --> 01:18:59,819 We're young and we should have fun. 1149 01:18:59,986 --> 01:19:03,239 And I have to get an earlier flight back to L.A. 1150 01:19:03,406 --> 01:19:09,495 I picked up the dinner shift, and I'll see you later. Okay? 1151 01:19:09,662 --> 01:19:12,123 I don't understand. 1152 01:19:27,597 --> 01:19:29,974 - Hello? - Hey, up and at them, sunshine. 1153 01:19:30,141 --> 01:19:33,645 Me and J. Day have been at the airport all night trying to outrun airplanes. 1154 01:19:33,811 --> 01:19:35,772 Come on, meet us downstairs for breakfast. 1155 01:19:35,939 --> 01:19:38,191 I've got breakfast up here. 1156 01:19:38,358 --> 01:19:41,319 Fuck that. Let's go, down. 1157 01:19:44,864 --> 01:19:46,699 We're not stopping now, Bucky. 1158 01:19:47,033 --> 01:19:49,035 This is only the beginning. 1159 01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:51,204 Kathy left this morning. 1160 01:19:51,371 --> 01:19:55,833 That's what chicks do. They leave. That's how this shit works. 1161 01:19:56,000 --> 01:20:00,171 They're whores. Except Blueberry. 1162 01:20:01,881 --> 01:20:04,717 - We are taking it to the next level. - Oh, yes. 1163 01:20:04,884 --> 01:20:08,012 J. Day is producing all of our movies now. 1164 01:20:08,179 --> 01:20:12,058 He paid off the mafia and he wants to put you under an exclusive deal. 1165 01:20:12,225 --> 01:20:14,811 Men don't want to live in the shadows anymore. 1166 01:20:14,978 --> 01:20:17,021 They want to look down at their baby dick... 1167 01:20:17,188 --> 01:20:19,691 and pee and bang and be happy. 1168 01:20:19,857 --> 01:20:22,652 We think that, in our new movies, what you should do... 1169 01:20:22,819 --> 01:20:26,072 is you should actually have sex with the girls. 1170 01:20:26,739 --> 01:20:28,825 But what about what we've been doing? 1171 01:20:28,992 --> 01:20:33,663 The world's wondering if you can even get inside someone with that thing. 1172 01:20:34,580 --> 01:20:37,291 - But Kathy. I... - Kathy's gone, man. 1173 01:20:37,458 --> 01:20:39,627 She's gone. She told you so. 1174 01:20:39,794 --> 01:20:43,256 She's probably on the plane right now, fucking another guy on her way home. 1175 01:20:43,423 --> 01:20:48,261 Yes, she's probably banging the pilot like crazy. "Kathy," you know? 1176 01:20:53,516 --> 01:20:55,852 Hey, Bucky, Bucky, Bucky. 1177 01:20:56,602 --> 01:20:59,105 This is about you now. 1178 01:20:59,272 --> 01:21:01,232 You gotta look to the future, man. 1179 01:21:03,443 --> 01:21:06,112 - Let's have a toast. - Let's drink to you, Bucky. 1180 01:21:06,279 --> 01:21:07,613 You're the big... 1181 01:21:09,449 --> 01:21:12,952 I'm sorry. I think I justjizzed on you. 1182 01:21:13,745 --> 01:21:18,791 - I'm a lucky Internet chipmunk. - Come on, show some respect, Dick. 1183 01:21:18,958 --> 01:21:21,586 That's a joke, J. Day. 1184 01:21:22,295 --> 01:21:24,630 Why don't you show some respect to our industry? 1185 01:21:24,797 --> 01:21:26,257 Or to your manhood? 1186 01:21:26,424 --> 01:21:29,635 - You fucking wannabes. - Come on, Dick. 1187 01:21:30,636 --> 01:21:32,930 Nothing grows in my cock-shade. 1188 01:21:34,974 --> 01:21:36,601 Nothing. 1189 01:21:37,602 --> 01:21:39,687 Do you know what grows in your cook-shade? 1190 01:21:39,854 --> 01:21:43,024 A field of baby dicks. 1191 01:21:43,649 --> 01:21:45,651 I just still can't believe it, Pop. 1192 01:21:45,818 --> 01:21:49,072 I tried to call her. She didn't even answer the phone. 1193 01:21:49,238 --> 01:21:51,991 I don't know. She seemed like a good egg. 1194 01:21:52,158 --> 01:21:54,994 She was a beautiful egg. 1195 01:21:55,328 --> 01:21:57,288 Painted gold. 1196 01:21:58,456 --> 01:22:01,501 Laid by a diamond goose. 1197 01:22:01,667 --> 01:22:06,339 Now, look, son, you gotta buck up. You have to power through this. 1198 01:22:06,506 --> 01:22:09,258 You got a big movie to shoot. That's why you're out there. 1199 01:22:14,514 --> 01:22:16,641 Suck it, whore! 1200 01:22:25,149 --> 01:22:28,111 The weather is a little bit windy... 1201 01:22:29,403 --> 01:22:32,115 - Here you go, Uncle Miles. - What the hell are you doing? 1202 01:22:32,782 --> 01:22:33,825 You said you wanted... 1203 01:22:33,991 --> 01:22:37,411 I'm about to direct the biggest movie of my career. I don't wanna be high. 1204 01:22:37,578 --> 01:22:39,288 I want to be focused. 1205 01:22:39,455 --> 01:22:41,541 She moved out of your complex? 1206 01:22:42,625 --> 01:22:44,627 She won't even see me at her job. 1207 01:22:45,586 --> 01:22:48,506 That's heavy, man. I had a man leave me once. 1208 01:22:49,382 --> 01:22:53,344 One night, after he fucked me, he told me the smell is so brutal... 1209 01:22:53,511 --> 01:22:57,306 that he break up with me. And we were in love too. 1210 01:22:58,015 --> 01:23:01,060 But he said that the fumes from my backside... 1211 01:23:01,227 --> 01:23:04,897 that they make him gag and that they give him nightmares. 1212 01:23:05,481 --> 01:23:08,484 And he said that the sweat from my ass... 1213 01:23:08,651 --> 01:23:10,903 it could be used as a chemical weapon. 1214 01:23:11,779 --> 01:23:14,073 So I tried cleaning it and scrubbing it. 1215 01:23:14,240 --> 01:23:15,575 I used a car freshener. 1216 01:23:15,741 --> 01:23:18,578 Nothing. I tried eating only pineapple. 1217 01:23:18,744 --> 01:23:22,999 - What the fuck are you doing? - Nothing. Just talking about the movie. 1218 01:23:23,166 --> 01:23:27,211 There's no talking. Get the fuck out of his head. Get out of here! 1219 01:23:30,131 --> 01:23:32,425 Come on. Stand up, let me see the duds. 1220 01:23:39,182 --> 01:23:41,267 Good. Good, good. Perfect. 1221 01:23:41,434 --> 01:23:43,186 - Hey, Miles? - Yeah, Buck? 1222 01:23:45,771 --> 01:23:47,440 I just wanted to say thanks. 1223 01:23:48,691 --> 01:23:51,569 Thanks for bringing me my dreams. 1224 01:23:51,736 --> 01:23:53,613 And for being my friend. 1225 01:23:53,779 --> 01:23:57,116 - Of course, Bucky. - And my folks thank you too. 1226 01:23:57,283 --> 01:24:00,119 They know how tough this town can be... 1227 01:24:00,703 --> 01:24:04,874 and to have someone that's in your corner and that cares about you... 1228 01:24:05,041 --> 01:24:06,751 is real nice. 1229 01:24:21,474 --> 01:24:23,935 This rock is boiling, Miles. Can we go? 1230 01:24:24,101 --> 01:24:25,228 Relax. 1231 01:24:25,394 --> 01:24:28,814 You know how many girls would love to be tied to a hot rock... 1232 01:24:28,981 --> 01:24:32,985 waiting for Bucky Larson to try and put it in them? 1233 01:24:33,819 --> 01:24:37,823 We are rolling. Er-action! 1234 01:24:38,616 --> 01:24:44,080 The sun is beating down on me. I'm losing my mind. 1235 01:24:44,247 --> 01:24:47,833 Oh, no! It's Fucky Bucky. 1236 01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:51,087 Don't touch me, you dirty man. 1237 01:24:53,214 --> 01:24:57,343 Oh, no. The wind just blew my clothes off. 1238 01:25:02,723 --> 01:25:04,267 She's good actress. 1239 01:25:07,520 --> 01:25:10,773 Come on, buddy. Pound her. 1240 01:25:27,039 --> 01:25:28,374 Cut! 1241 01:25:36,007 --> 01:25:40,094 - I can't let you do this, Buck. - Why, what happened? 1242 01:25:42,138 --> 01:25:44,056 I got a confession to make, Bucky. 1243 01:25:46,142 --> 01:25:50,021 Kathy didn't leave you on her own. I told her to do it. 1244 01:25:50,563 --> 01:25:53,566 - What? - That morning in Las Vegas... 1245 01:25:53,733 --> 01:25:56,152 at the hotel, we'd been up partying all night... 1246 01:25:56,319 --> 01:25:59,655 and J. Day gave me the news about our new deal. 1247 01:25:59,822 --> 01:26:03,409 And I ran into Kathy in the restaurant and she was so happy... 1248 01:26:03,576 --> 01:26:07,997 but I was so fucked up, I told her about our new plan... 1249 01:26:08,164 --> 01:26:10,333 to have you bang the chicks. 1250 01:26:11,834 --> 01:26:16,922 She looked horrified. She said you'd never want to do that. 1251 01:26:17,089 --> 01:26:18,466 I just lost it. 1252 01:26:18,632 --> 01:26:21,344 I told her that this is why you came out here. 1253 01:26:21,510 --> 01:26:22,720 This was your destiny. 1254 01:26:22,887 --> 01:26:25,973 And that she'd be selfish if she stood in your way. 1255 01:26:26,140 --> 01:26:31,395 She started to cry and I said to her that... 1256 01:26:31,687 --> 01:26:34,732 if she cared about you... 1257 01:26:34,899 --> 01:26:38,694 that she'd out you loose and let you be great. 1258 01:26:41,614 --> 01:26:44,408 I had no right to do that. 1259 01:26:45,785 --> 01:26:46,952 She loved you. 1260 01:26:48,287 --> 01:26:50,748 You meant the world to her. 1261 01:26:51,957 --> 01:26:54,960 And I don't want to see you make the same mistakes I did. 1262 01:26:58,756 --> 01:27:01,092 You need to go to Kathy. 1263 01:27:01,509 --> 01:27:03,969 You need to go right now. 1264 01:27:11,018 --> 01:27:13,062 I forgive you, Miles. 1265 01:27:18,567 --> 01:27:21,737 I'm gonna go tell her. I'm gonna tell her right now. 1266 01:27:35,042 --> 01:27:39,255 - Miles, where's he going? - He's gone, J. Day. 1267 01:27:39,422 --> 01:27:41,173 But I need that horse! 1268 01:27:41,340 --> 01:27:44,802 He's the star of another movie I'm doing in Germany. 1269 01:27:45,511 --> 01:27:47,805 Horsecock Island. 1270 01:28:07,450 --> 01:28:09,034 God gave me a magic wand. 1271 01:28:09,201 --> 01:28:11,454 Why wouldn't I want to cast love spells? 1272 01:28:12,288 --> 01:28:14,790 You are the most aggressive person I have ever met. 1273 01:28:14,957 --> 01:28:17,042 It's ridiculous. 1274 01:28:17,710 --> 01:28:20,963 Is it ridiculous how much pleasure I could bring to your smell garden? 1275 01:28:22,006 --> 01:28:24,383 Trust me. I would be the best you ever had. 1276 01:28:24,550 --> 01:28:27,636 Dick, you are a dick. 1277 01:28:27,803 --> 01:28:30,681 You know why Bucky Larson is a bigger star than you now? 1278 01:28:31,724 --> 01:28:35,811 Because he showed people that it wasn't about having a giant Wiener... 1279 01:28:35,978 --> 01:28:37,730 swinging between your legs. 1280 01:28:38,397 --> 01:28:42,026 It's about being a beautiful and caring partner. 1281 01:28:43,235 --> 01:28:46,572 And even though it broke my heart in two... 1282 01:28:47,323 --> 01:28:52,328 I knew it was more important for him to continue helping the world... 1283 01:28:52,495 --> 01:28:54,914 than for me to have happiness. 1284 01:28:57,458 --> 01:29:00,252 So you know what you need to do now? 1285 01:29:01,670 --> 01:29:03,547 Give you some good rebound sex? 1286 01:29:03,714 --> 01:29:06,300 Let you swing on my sweet meat? 1287 01:29:06,884 --> 01:29:08,594 No. You need to leave. 1288 01:29:09,303 --> 01:29:10,846 Look who's back. 1289 01:29:11,013 --> 01:29:14,934 Kathy, I remember the first time I saw you at the diner. 1290 01:29:15,100 --> 01:29:18,979 My heart stopped. My stomach felt funny. 1291 01:29:19,146 --> 01:29:21,065 I thought I had the flu. 1292 01:29:22,399 --> 01:29:26,153 But I didn't. It was you. 1293 01:29:26,946 --> 01:29:30,991 Being in those nude movies, that's not my destiny. 1294 01:29:31,158 --> 01:29:32,618 Being with you is. 1295 01:29:34,370 --> 01:29:35,788 You make my heart smile. 1296 01:29:35,955 --> 01:29:39,124 - Does your heart have buck teeth too? - Shut your cock. 1297 01:29:43,128 --> 01:29:47,383 What I'm trying to say is I love you, Kathy. 1298 01:29:47,883 --> 01:29:49,385 I love you too, Bucky. 1299 01:29:56,559 --> 01:29:59,061 - Will you do me a favor? - Yeah. 1300 01:29:59,228 --> 01:30:02,898 Will you give me a ride home to Iowa? 1301 01:30:03,899 --> 01:30:05,150 With honors. 1302 01:30:16,412 --> 01:30:18,664 I smell a garden. 1303 01:30:25,004 --> 01:30:27,673 Ride, little dick. Ride. 1304 01:30:58,287 --> 01:31:02,666 - Do I have chips in my teeth? - No, you don't have any teeth. 1305 01:31:02,833 --> 01:31:06,003 - Jeremiah. - Well, she doesn't. 1306 01:31:06,170 --> 01:31:07,212 Oh, my. 1307 01:31:07,379 --> 01:31:09,632 Table 17. And thank you for coming. 1308 01:31:09,798 --> 01:31:12,551 Hey, best steaks and service in the state, Bucky. 1309 01:31:12,718 --> 01:31:14,011 That's my wife's doing. 1310 01:31:14,178 --> 01:31:17,640 Hey, honey, there's a table in back, wants to take a picture with you. 1311 01:31:17,806 --> 01:31:21,352 Yeah, sure. Jeez, how many bowls you got there? 1312 01:31:21,518 --> 01:31:24,730 - Seven. It's my new record. - No way. 1313 01:31:27,024 --> 01:31:29,193 You owe me rent money, fucker! 1314 01:31:29,360 --> 01:31:32,196 - Gary, no! - You're just like John Mayer! 1315 01:31:32,363 --> 01:31:34,073 Just like John Mayer. 101002