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yeah not going out not staying just
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hanging around
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[Music]
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no need to need to scream and shout
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you're not going on we are not going out
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[Music]
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[Music]
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yeah
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[Music]
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sorry for being naughty it must have
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been all those eggs
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I'm cleaning up officer
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ow oh
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[Music]
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hello
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hello
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[Music]
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hi love how you doing I'm fine how's it
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all going yes nothing much happening
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really
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there must be something happening it's a
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stag weekend yeah but it's all pretty
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laid back
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laid back
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this is your cousin Andy we're talking
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about all he cares about is drinking
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fighting and shagging speak judgmental
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I'm only repeating what it says on his
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tattoo
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without the spelling mistakes so come on
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give me the lowdown
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oh yeah just the usual bit of a pub
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crawl well don't forget you're on
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medication what did the GP say only
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touch it with gloves on
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yes but she also said you can't mix the
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tablets with alcohol it'll Knock You Out
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Lucy do you really think I'd mix my
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medication and copious amounts of
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alcohol with loads of blobs I hardly
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know if you really think I'm that stupid
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I think I've lost her no I'm still here
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I just assumed it was rhetorical
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have you got those tissues I gave you in
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your pocket you mean Molly's wands with
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the little circus animals on no surprise
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dad didn't bring them on a stack do
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and I'll try Lucy the doctor said you
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need to keep dabbing it otherwise it'll
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seep hang on a second love I think this
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lap dancer's gagging
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watching to FaceTime
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why because I want to see you're okay
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and that you've still got eyebrows
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because I'm the oldest doesn't mean I'm
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the weakest just means I'm the sensible
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one to make sure people don't do
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anything
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stupid
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just put me on video
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I got a sec
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hello
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I can't see you oh the the camera must
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be on mute
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not really in a lap dancing club are you
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yeah there you see but I'm gonna have to
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go I've got a punter
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it's very quiet where are you
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I am
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I um I knit back to the hotel you know
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for a little lie down what's your room
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like
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it's been on the small side
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make sure you look after and eat
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getting air hello
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Lucy
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hello
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[Music]
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right very funny Lads but a joke's a
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joke
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let me out right now
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Andy
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are you there
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he is
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all man what am I up to I've got a
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cyclinsaurus southern Brittany with the
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chief Rabbi and Betty from ABBA you're
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welcome I'm Nails inside the bloody
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coffin you know I am
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calm down what's your idea
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but it I mean was it well you don't
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remember
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that has a lot to drink that one kind of
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laggly lightweight I'm on medication
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well so you really don't remember
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volunteering
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I remember you saying that you worked at
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an Undertakers right and then what
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he said the place was closed for the day
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but you had keys so
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you let us all in for a laugh yeah
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anything else uh
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do you remember what Big Pete called you
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no good I bought him Wonka
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hang on
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how come I can't hear you outside this
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coffin
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he's still in The Undertakers right
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well
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class
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how close one word out we're not still
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in The Undertakers
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[Applause]
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are you in the bloody Pub will you calm
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down
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you're the one that said you could spend
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an hour in a coffee no problem
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when was that four hours ago
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four bloody hours when you fell asleep
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[Laughter]
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the well reassed I'll give them that so
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we left you you know to rest in peace
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[Applause]
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get back here and let me out what now oh
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not now obviously get your diary out and
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find out what you're doing on May the
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27th yes now I thought you might want to
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wait a little bit longer you know there
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might be a world record in it longest
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time inside a coffin I think Tutankhamun
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might still have the edge on me there
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but will you stop panicking the pub is
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literally next door
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right well come and let me out
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immediately
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if you don't mind
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please
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hello
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lovely
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don't mean any coffee anything go for a
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pint
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actually I suppose that's all funerals
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[Music]
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turn
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I've got a good one for you ever touched
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a dead body before his wife ass ah
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just wonder what a stiff in there let's
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set fire to his pubes
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[Applause]
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What if I
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lie in that coffin
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that's rubbish
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it's this never mind
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what if I like it for an hour
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[Applause]
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you can you can screw the lid on
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the bus
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laughs
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[Applause]
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where are you I have a guess can you let
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me out please well I would but
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where's the coffin oh let me think you
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probably tried The Butchers at The
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Cheese Shop a bit of a long shot have
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you tried the undertakers
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that's where I am
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it's not here
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someone must have moved yeah
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who's not here but where's he gone
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it must be somewhere else I'm glad we've
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got a cracked team on the case
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what's going on
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oh my God this is a big wind-up
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pretend I've been carrying off somewhere
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in the Box
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[Applause]
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it's a good Winder right very good
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probably gonna mention it best man
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speech that one boys hilarious great
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so where are you
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how'd you be well you've done your wind
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up we all fell for it but where are you
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really
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why wind up
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you're the ones doing the wind up no
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we're not honest are you saying you
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didn't move it how am I supposed to be
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moving it from inside do you think
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there's two holes in the bottom and I'm
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sticking my legs through I am not Fred
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Flintstone driving his car
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what a wanker not now well I swear we're
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not joking
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you kind of gone very far with a
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movement would have woken him up unless
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he was being driven very slowly
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very slowly
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oh my God
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he needs a cemetery have I been buried
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of course she's not been buried Lee
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nobody gets buried these days
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it's all cremations
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I'm only joking but we're gonna figure
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this out all right at times like this
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just gotta think outside the box are you
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taking the best yeah a little bit
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with a bloke in a coffin and what he did
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was find something sharp and scratch his
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way out through the lid
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and
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what
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what happened at the end of the film
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I went for a curry
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look you've definitely not been buried
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like okay there's gonna be a simple
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explanation
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go on this Undertaker's is shot today
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but we've got all the ones that are open
219
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so someone probably just moved it to a
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different branch with me inside the Box
221
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well if they'd wheeled it straight from
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the trolley to the vehicle that they
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never felt the weight difference would
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the they just presumed that it were
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empty because let's face it
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kinda should have been so what if I
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noticed me shouting for help a few
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minutes ago is it one of those
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soundproof coffins for when granddad's
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not quite ready yet
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because it's out of office hours now
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nobody's gonna be there rather but do
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not worry all right because I've got
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access to all the keys to all the
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branches all right and where are all
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these other branches oh we've got loads
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of them like Costa
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Costa coffins
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oh my God I'm gonna suffocate
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don't do that that's a Rolls Royce of
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coffins is that all right fine
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I'll throw the police instead no not the
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police please I'll get the sack don't do
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this to me not before my wedding
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just
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just tell me what branch you're in I
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don't want no one it might be the
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Rolls-Royce of coffins but it's not
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equipment is that now
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have you got location settings enabled
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on your phone
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wait what well it's dead easy on your
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home screen got
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up
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then up
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hello
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Andy yeah
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just find the little derby hello
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Andy you there
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surfaces where is it
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oh
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hi love how are you I still can't see
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you
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the camera it's probably a button I'm
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supposed to be pressing
266
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you know me I can't even find things
267
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like
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location services any ideas
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it's a find my phone
270
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touch your hand
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what are those find my phone find out
272
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where I am exactly you said that you
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were in your hotel room
274
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yes I did and I was but now I've popped
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back out again you know to catch up with
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the lads but I've lost me my bearings a
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bit
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or someone
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really anyone around
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Saturday night where the hell are you
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that's what I'm trying to find out
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sorry
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no I'm sorry I want to apologize for
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earlier
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I was just worried you'd struggle to fit
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in and get yourself into some kind of
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00:14:06,899 --> 00:14:08,459
hole where you couldn't stand up for
288
00:14:08,459 --> 00:14:09,200
yourself
289
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:11,839
make sure this camera's not on
290
00:14:11,839 --> 00:14:15,540
anyway who am I to judge I once went on
291
00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:17,760
a hen weekend and ended up doing karaoke
292
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,079
in a bright purple wig
293
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,720
let me speak to Charlie
294
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,200
Charlie
295
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,940
have you tried switching him off and
296
00:14:29,940 --> 00:14:32,399
back on again what do you want him for
297
00:14:32,399 --> 00:14:33,959
to see if he knows how to turn on
298
00:14:33,959 --> 00:14:37,200
location services I can do that go to
299
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,839
your menu you need sure that map acts
300
00:14:39,839 --> 00:14:41,639
locations hello
301
00:14:41,639 --> 00:14:46,220
breaking better reception
302
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,740
is that any better a little bit bit
303
00:14:49,740 --> 00:14:55,199
glitchy you sound like Ormond Collier
304
00:14:55,199 --> 00:14:56,820
bloody hell
305
00:14:56,820 --> 00:15:00,380
coming I've dropped the phone
306
00:15:00,420 --> 00:15:02,220
oh no can you
307
00:15:02,220 --> 00:15:04,699
play
308
00:15:12,019 --> 00:15:15,300
how's that oh that's even better clear
309
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:17,880
Isabel right
310
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:21,600
open settings hang on it's a bit tricky
311
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:25,399
what are you using your foot
312
00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:30,180
what your life right
313
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,620
I'm ready
314
00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:32,940
so
315
00:15:32,940 --> 00:15:35,839
open up settings
316
00:15:37,199 --> 00:15:39,779
hang on it's a bit fiddly
317
00:15:39,779 --> 00:15:42,060
oh you and your big fat fingers use your
318
00:15:42,060 --> 00:15:46,099
pinky you'll never reach from here
319
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,860
your little finger oh
320
00:15:49,860 --> 00:15:54,360
got it now go to privacy and security
321
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,459
can you hurry up I'm getting cramped
322
00:15:56,459 --> 00:15:59,399
location services and make sure it's on
323
00:15:59,399 --> 00:16:01,860
okay I can hear you clearly now so make
324
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:03,959
sure you don't move I'll try and resist
325
00:16:03,959 --> 00:16:08,180
the temptation to conquer now what
326
00:16:16,019 --> 00:16:18,899
oh my God
327
00:16:18,899 --> 00:16:21,019
I'm in a bloody Cemetery
328
00:16:21,019 --> 00:16:24,300
same bone of his church
329
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:26,160
how can you be in a cemetery and not
330
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:28,320
know it well to be fair most people who
331
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,300
are in cemeteries don't know it
332
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:33,600
Lucy I need your help
333
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:36,060
I'm gonna tell you something but you've
334
00:16:36,060 --> 00:16:39,500
got to promise not to panic
335
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:43,820
okay all right
336
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,060
have you found yourself yet or what
337
00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:59,759
we've got pubs together I'm in a bloody
338
00:16:59,759 --> 00:17:02,220
Cemetery oh wow it's like a garden
339
00:17:02,220 --> 00:17:03,839
outside a church where they bury dead
340
00:17:03,839 --> 00:17:06,260
bodies
341
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:16,439
apologize I feel awful I wish the ground
342
00:17:16,439 --> 00:17:18,720
would just open up and swallow me oh my
343
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:21,140
God it already
344
00:17:23,220 --> 00:17:24,900
out
345
00:17:24,900 --> 00:17:26,099
firstly
346
00:17:26,099 --> 00:17:28,199
you're not in a cemetery yes I bloody am
347
00:17:28,199 --> 00:17:30,840
it says so on location services no if
348
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,460
it's at the side of a church it's a
349
00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:34,799
graveyard cemetery is a council room no
350
00:17:34,799 --> 00:17:36,240
it's a subtle difference but not many
351
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:37,520
people outside the industry know that
352
00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:40,559
can you text me this information I would
353
00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:44,160
hate to forget it and secondly you're
354
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:46,200
definitely not buried so what am I doing
355
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:48,120
in the church have I been donated to the
356
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,299
Harvest Festival
357
00:17:50,299 --> 00:17:52,620
probably just packed in a van outside
358
00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:55,320
the church and why would that be well
359
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,580
because we're always going to churches
360
00:17:56,580 --> 00:17:57,960
and having chats with priests about
361
00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,940
upcoming ceremonies and stuff
362
00:17:59,940 --> 00:18:01,679
whoever took you is probably in the
363
00:18:01,679 --> 00:18:03,960
Vestry right now China the priest but
364
00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:05,520
don't you worry because I'm on my way
365
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,880
you got a professional on the case City
366
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,000
Andy yes ma'am just one tiny thing
367
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,760
before you go you wonderful professional
368
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,160
well I haven't told you the name of the
369
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,880
bloody Church
370
00:18:19,980 --> 00:18:21,600
what church is it
371
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:24,840
Saint Barnabas ah lucky you that's just
372
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,280
around the corner probably what they're
373
00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,080
in two minutes boys I'll tell you what
374
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,419
just for a giggle why don't you
375
00:18:30,419 --> 00:18:32,780
run
376
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,580
that's a Catholic Church isn't it I
377
00:18:35,580 --> 00:18:36,600
don't think they're meant to be buried
378
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:38,460
there if you're not Catholic I don't
379
00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:39,780
think you're meant to be buried there if
380
00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:41,700
you're not dead
381
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:43,919
I've told you you're not buried how can
382
00:18:43,919 --> 00:18:46,260
you be I think the coffin's empty Uber
383
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,179
is an empty coffin yeah but if they did
384
00:18:48,179 --> 00:18:49,380
feel the weight they'd realize there was
385
00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:51,299
a body in there and then they would bury
386
00:18:51,299 --> 00:18:53,400
it no they wouldn't they don't just go
387
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,200
dumping them anywhere it's not fly
388
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,960
tipping they've opened it seen you and
389
00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,559
done the obvious call Joe wanker
390
00:19:00,559 --> 00:19:04,020
a little walking you up are you sure Lee
391
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:06,660
I promise you're not buried don't make
392
00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:09,500
no sense does it
393
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:11,340
pose not
394
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:13,080
unless they were meant to be collecting
395
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,260
him
396
00:19:16,380 --> 00:19:18,960
they got this guy mixed up with Lee
397
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:24,260
oh my God I am six feet underground
398
00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:29,100
pillow
399
00:19:37,679 --> 00:19:39,200
five
400
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,179
eight I wish you'd stop doing that do
401
00:19:42,179 --> 00:19:43,740
you know how much that coffins were did
402
00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:45,720
I have my time work if it weren't for
403
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,340
that guy in the film I didn't say it
404
00:19:47,340 --> 00:19:48,780
worked for the guy in the film in fact
405
00:19:48,780 --> 00:19:50,700
if I remember rightly it made things
406
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:54,740
worse load of soil came in on him
407
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:56,960
oh
408
00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:07,940
a bit like that
409
00:20:14,539 --> 00:20:18,720
not now we might not have a chance later
410
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,039
Michael wants to know what phone network
411
00:20:20,039 --> 00:20:21,539
you know I'm sorry mate but that
412
00:20:21,539 --> 00:20:23,780
coverage is phenomenal
413
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:28,320
oh that's it I'm voted the police no
414
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:32,178
wait please I'll lose my job
415
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,799
look we're underwear right now we'll see
416
00:20:34,799 --> 00:20:36,179
the fresh Mountain soil and we'll have
417
00:20:36,179 --> 00:20:37,740
you over there in a few minutes much
418
00:20:37,740 --> 00:20:39,720
quicker than the Roses get there and you
419
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,299
don't really want to go to prison daily
420
00:20:41,299 --> 00:20:43,799
why would I go to prison
421
00:20:43,799 --> 00:20:46,320
uh wasting Place time criminal damage to
422
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,879
a coffin impersonating a dead body
423
00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:05,600
not now Lucy
424
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,749
[Applause]
425
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,799
hello good evening how are you today
426
00:21:15,799 --> 00:21:17,940
who's this
427
00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:19,679
I'm going to ask whether you've recently
428
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,299
been involved in an accident that wasn't
429
00:21:21,299 --> 00:21:22,559
your fault
430
00:21:22,559 --> 00:21:25,220
it's off
431
00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,020
[Music]
432
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,820
Lucy why'd you keep FaceTiming me you
433
00:21:29,820 --> 00:21:32,159
know the camera's broken stop lying to
434
00:21:32,159 --> 00:21:33,360
me Lee
435
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,740
what do you mean
436
00:21:34,740 --> 00:21:37,020
I know you're covering up the camera and
437
00:21:37,020 --> 00:21:39,419
I know you're not really in the cemetery
438
00:21:39,419 --> 00:21:41,220
true it was attached to a church it's
439
00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:43,140
called a graveyard
440
00:21:43,140 --> 00:21:45,059
the best you say you're lost then you're
441
00:21:45,059 --> 00:21:47,039
somehow in a graveyard without realizing
442
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,720
it and then I find out you're not even
443
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,320
there at all
444
00:21:51,419 --> 00:21:53,940
what aren't you were acting weird on
445
00:21:53,940 --> 00:21:55,320
that last call I looked up some
446
00:21:55,320 --> 00:21:57,900
Barnaby's online I rang the priest asked
447
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,280
him to check on the man in the graveyard
448
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,860
checked that he was okay and guess what
449
00:22:01,860 --> 00:22:02,940
he told me
450
00:22:02,940 --> 00:22:05,520
there's no one in the graveyard
451
00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,480
uncover your camera now okay
452
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,460
but promise me you won't start panicking
453
00:22:11,460 --> 00:22:12,419
Lucy
454
00:22:12,419 --> 00:22:14,880
okay
455
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:17,220
where are you
456
00:22:17,220 --> 00:22:20,600
and who's that bald man
457
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,419
what's going on where are you
458
00:22:24,419 --> 00:22:27,600
it's quite a funny story actually I had
459
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,580
to cut a lager which got me very drunk
460
00:22:29,580 --> 00:22:31,620
because it mixed with the medication
461
00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:33,600
and as a result I agreed to be nailed
462
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,880
inside a coffin and that got mixed up
463
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,520
with a real dead body and now I've ended
464
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,360
up being buried alive
465
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,899
you're back to speed
466
00:22:48,299 --> 00:22:50,840
few minutes
467
00:22:51,539 --> 00:22:54,740
pop toilets
468
00:22:56,900 --> 00:23:00,500
I'll throw the police
469
00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,460
I love you
470
00:23:02,460 --> 00:23:05,100
oh that's what they say it feels when
471
00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:08,059
someone's gonna die
472
00:23:08,190 --> 00:23:11,359
[Music]
473
00:23:11,900 --> 00:23:14,780
where are you look at this suffocate
474
00:23:14,780 --> 00:23:18,620
we're the only freshers
475
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:27,260
it's soil I'm gonna drive
476
00:23:48,659 --> 00:23:51,559
come on
477
00:23:56,100 --> 00:24:00,799
I don't think that's him hold on
478
00:24:03,140 --> 00:24:06,440
a minute Lee
479
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:26,280
I think I found your husband would this
480
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:29,240
Egypt be him
481
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,799
are you okay Lee
482
00:24:31,799 --> 00:24:35,539
I think I've soiled myself
483
00:24:40,730 --> 00:24:43,700
[Music]
484
00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:46,980
excuse me excuse me excuse me sir would
485
00:24:46,980 --> 00:24:48,600
you like to explain why you're exhuming
486
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,419
a recently buried corpse
487
00:24:51,419 --> 00:24:54,659
well we will try to save him
488
00:24:54,659 --> 00:24:56,640
a little bit late for that aren't you no
489
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,799
not him him he can explain everything
490
00:24:58,799 --> 00:25:00,299
casually
491
00:25:00,299 --> 00:25:03,740
do you know these gentlemen sir
492
00:25:03,740 --> 00:25:09,670
[Music]
493
00:25:09,860 --> 00:25:14,600
I've never seen them before in my life
494
00:25:14,990 --> 00:25:17,460
[Applause]
495
00:25:17,460 --> 00:25:19,980
I only wish you told me he was on a stag
496
00:25:19,980 --> 00:25:22,380
night to begin with you know you
497
00:25:22,380 --> 00:25:24,539
wouldn't believe how often they end up
498
00:25:24,539 --> 00:25:26,820
in coffins
499
00:25:26,820 --> 00:25:31,590
[Laughter]
500
00:25:33,530 --> 00:25:54,140
[Music]
501
00:25:54,140 --> 00:25:58,940
we are not going on
33448
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