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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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Why was Veronica Duncan hugging you?
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I'm tutoring her in trigonometry.
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Just between us, she's a little slow.
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That's not what I heard.
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There's nobody at my house.
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- You want to come over?
- Yes.
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- What's that?
- Some stupid haunted house
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my mother's doing for the church.
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Mr. Lundy's scene about lust
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made a deep impact on my brother's date.
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She asked to be saved by Jesus.
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I don't want to live like this anymore.
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And as it turns out, she was.
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Dear Lord Jesus, set me free.
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In Conquest of the Planet of the Apes,
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we learned how humans taught
the apes to become civilized.
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Which I think should
start with potty training,
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but I'm not a screenwriter.
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Can you help me with my math homework?
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No.
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Please. It's really hard.
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"It" isn't the problem.
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Sheldon.
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Fine, what are you working on?
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There's a number, then there's a line,
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then there's another number under it.
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Fractions?
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Yes, fractions.
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At that moment,
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it occurred to me if I
could teach mathematics
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to someone as dull-witted as my sister,
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I could create a race of superhumans
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that would do my bidding.
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And who wouldn't want that?
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Please, Sheldon.
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You know what, Missy?
I'd be happy to help you.
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Thank you.
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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Try thinking of it
this way: imagine a pie.
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The number on the bottom of the fraction
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is how many pieces the
pie has been sliced into.
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What kind of pie is it?
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Doesn't matter.
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But it would help me picture it
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if I knew the kind of pie.
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Fine, it's banana cream.
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I don't like banana cream.
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Okay, what kind of pie
would you like it to be?
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What about those little
apple pies from McDonalds?
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- Sure.
- I burned my mouth on one of those.
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Didn't stop me. I still ate it.
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Veronica. Hi.
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Hey, Georgie.
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You-you changed your hair.
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I did.
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It's shorter.
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It is.
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I like it.
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Thank-thanks.
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You here to see me?
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I-I'm here for your mom's Bible study.
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Oh, sure, of course.
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I'm glad you could join us.
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Come in, won't you?
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You're part of the group, too?
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Faith, the Bible, God,
I'm nuts for that stuff.
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So one-fourth of the
12 pieces of pie is...?
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Three?
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Yes.
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And one-third of the 12 pieces is...?
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Four?
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Yes. Now how much is
one-third of the pie plus
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one-fourth of the pie?
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Well, three plus four is
seven, but there's 12 pieces,
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so seven-twelve-iths.
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It's twelfths. And yes.
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I did it.
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Actually, I did it.
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In less than ten minutes, I
taught fractions to a monkey.
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Welcome, Veronica. We're
so glad to have you.
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What are you doing?
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What's it look like?
I'm here for Bible study.
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Did you just take a shower?
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No.
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You did, too.
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So I want to be clean for
Jesus. Get off my back.
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Interesting.
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Georgie, if you want
to be a good Christian,
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maybe you should stop
lying through your teeth.
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Just be happy I brushed them, okay?
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- Hmm...
- Okay.
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All done. Thanks.
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While we're here, would you like me
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to introduce you to algebra?
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Al who?
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Oh, boy.
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It's not a person, it's
an ancient Arabic method
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of finding the value of variables.
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Oh. Nah.
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Clearly, I needed a more
sophisticated technique
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to motivate my simian sister.
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Are you sure?
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If you learn a little algebra,
I'll give you a banana.
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All right, now we're
reading from Matthew 4.
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Georgie, why don't you
get us started on verse 17?
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Me?
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Yes, you.
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Oh. Okay.
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Um... Verse 17...
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Verse 17...
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Give me a minute.
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Here.
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Bless you.
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Okay, here we go. "From that time,
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"Jesus began to preach and say 'Repent,
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c-change your inner self,
your old way of thinking,
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regret past sins,
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live your life in a way
that proves repentance:
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seek God's purpose for your life."
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Powerful stuff.
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Can I get an amen?
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Amen.
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Amen.
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- Need any help there, Sheldon?
- I'm looking
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for some books on education theory.
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- What for?
- I'm trying
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to develop a technique to teach someone
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who falls into the conventional
category of "stupid."
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Oh. Well, now, there's
a wide range of stupid.
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Can you narrow it down?
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00:05:38,222 --> 00:05:40,389
She wrote a fan letter to Alf.
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Got it. So you're looking to
make a pretty radical change.
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Well, ideally, I'd like to
wipe my sister's brain clean
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and start over, but my
mom wouldn't like that.
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Yeah. Moms are no fun.
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Hey, Veronica.
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- Georgie.
- So, listen,
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I was doing my prayers
last night and, uh,
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you won't believe it, but
I think God spoke to me.
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Really? What did he say?
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Well, I couldn't understand
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all of it, 'cause it was
in an ancient language,
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but the part I did understand
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is he wants us to spend
more time together.
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Doing what?
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Oh, you know, praying,
helping the needy.
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Your usual Christian activities.
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Well, I'm okay with that.
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Good. So you, me and
God, we'll hang out.
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Sounds good.
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Okay. See you later.
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See you.
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I may be going to hell.
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So you're hoping to create an army
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of super-intelligent children
who will do your bidding?
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In a perfect world, yes.
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You should spend more
time with my mother.
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That's her goal, too.
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Ooh, this is interesting.
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According to Socrates,
all knowledge exists
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within the student and
just needs to be drawn out
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through skillful questioning.
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Are you saying I knew that
before you even said it?
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- I don't know, did you?
- Well, according
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to Socrates, you do know
and the answer's inside you.
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Well, then, ask me a skillful
question to draw it out.
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Do you know if I knew before I knew?
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No.
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Hey, it works.
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It does.
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I'm recording my findings
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so that future generations
of mankind can understand
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the steps I took to create
homo novus, "new man."
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Of course, there's a strong
likelihood that my homo novi
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might've wiped out
all future generations,
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so I have no idea who's watching this.
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What are you doing in here?
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I'm keeping a video diary of my
experiment to create homo novus.
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Homo what?
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Novus. It's Latin. It means "new man."
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Oh. I guess that's okay.
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Y-Your mom's at church.
W-What do you want for dinner?
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I believe you know
what I want for dinner.
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Is that right?
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It's Thursday.
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What does Mom always
make me on Thursdays?
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Spaghetti and hot dogs?
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Socrates. Got to love him.
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♪ Then sings my soul ♪
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♪ My savior God to Thee ♪
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♪ How great Thou art ♪
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♪ God to Thee ♪
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♪ How great Thou art ♪
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♪ How great Thou art ♪
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- ♪ How great Thou art ♪
- ♪ Then sings my soul ♪
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♪ My savior God to Thee ♪
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♪ Then sings my soul ♪
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00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:05,082
- ♪ How great Thou art ♪
- ♪ My savior God to Thee ♪
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00:09:05,084 --> 00:09:08,820
- ♪ How great Thou art. ♪
- ♪ How great Thou art. ♪
201
00:09:11,656 --> 00:09:12,988
And now,
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00:09:12,991 --> 00:09:15,058
why don't we take a moment to pray,
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00:09:15,061 --> 00:09:17,094
uh, keeping in mind that our prayers
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00:09:17,096 --> 00:09:19,464
should not be for our own benefit,
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00:09:19,466 --> 00:09:21,933
but for our family, friends,
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00:09:21,935 --> 00:09:26,771
fellow Texans, Americans
of all races and religions
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00:09:26,773 --> 00:09:28,206
and the world.
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00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:29,598
Well, most of the world.
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00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:31,275
Y'all know what countries to pick.
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00:09:34,380 --> 00:09:36,914
Lord, please look after my family.
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00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:39,917
Give them everything they
need to be happy and healthy.
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00:09:39,919 --> 00:09:42,325
And this lovely young
girl with me tonight,
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00:09:42,328 --> 00:09:44,989
help her stay on the
path of righteousness.
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00:09:44,991 --> 00:09:47,391
God, please look after my sister.
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00:09:47,393 --> 00:09:49,627
You can find her at the
women's correctional facility
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00:09:49,629 --> 00:09:50,695
in Lubbock.
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00:09:50,697 --> 00:09:52,430
Help her seek salvation in you
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00:09:52,432 --> 00:09:55,933
instead of cocaine,
marijuana and bass players.
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00:09:55,935 --> 00:09:58,169
Jesus, I'm sure, even
from Heaven, you can see
220
00:09:58,171 --> 00:10:00,171
how hot the girl sitting next to me is.
221
00:10:00,173 --> 00:10:02,473
And I know I'm not
supposed to pray for myself,
222
00:10:02,475 --> 00:10:04,342
but here's the deal: if you can get her
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00:10:04,344 --> 00:10:06,177
to fall in love with me, and you know,
224
00:10:06,179 --> 00:10:07,778
make some bad decisions,
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00:10:07,780 --> 00:10:10,381
I swear I'll come to
church every Sunday.
226
00:10:10,383 --> 00:10:12,997
And thank you for
bringing Georgie tonight,
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00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,899
even though you and I
both know why he came.
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00:10:15,902 --> 00:10:18,536
Speaking of which, whatever
he's praying for right now,
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00:10:18,539 --> 00:10:19,857
ignore it.
230
00:10:19,859 --> 00:10:22,403
And please protect me
from impure thoughts,
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00:10:22,406 --> 00:10:25,914
and teach me to respect
the sanctity of my body.
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00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:28,903
Now if for instance she and
I were to go skinny dipping
233
00:10:28,906 --> 00:10:30,568
and one thing were to lead to another
234
00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:33,037
under the moonlit sky, get this:
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00:10:33,039 --> 00:10:35,273
not only do I become a devout Christian,
236
00:10:35,275 --> 00:10:38,075
I will also bug everybody
I meet to do the same.
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00:10:38,077 --> 00:10:39,577
And you know I can be real annoying
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00:10:39,579 --> 00:10:41,045
when I set my mind to it.
239
00:10:41,047 --> 00:10:42,313
Amen.
240
00:10:42,461 --> 00:10:44,617
Amen.
241
00:10:44,717 --> 00:10:47,985
I'm gonna take your
silence as a yes. Amen.
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00:10:55,395 --> 00:10:57,061
What are you working on?
243
00:10:57,063 --> 00:11:00,498
A list of possible boyfriends
for my Cabbage Patch doll.
244
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:03,868
How do you think Celeste would
look next to Joey Lawrence?
245
00:11:03,870 --> 00:11:06,003
I don't know who that is.
246
00:11:06,005 --> 00:11:07,838
He's Blossom's brother.
247
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:10,007
I don't know who that is.
248
00:11:10,009 --> 00:11:12,944
It's a show. She wears hats.
249
00:11:12,946 --> 00:11:15,646
Anyway, I've been doing some research,
250
00:11:15,648 --> 00:11:17,748
and I've come to the
conclusion that I don't need
251
00:11:17,750 --> 00:11:19,005
to teach you anything.
252
00:11:19,008 --> 00:11:20,585
You already know everything.
253
00:11:20,587 --> 00:11:21,594
Cool.
254
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,386
Your brain already contains all the math
255
00:11:23,389 --> 00:11:24,889
that will ever be known.
256
00:11:24,891 --> 00:11:27,124
I heard you and I said "cool."
257
00:11:27,126 --> 00:11:28,826
Well, wouldn't you like to explore
258
00:11:28,828 --> 00:11:31,329
that great treasure trove of knowledge?
259
00:11:31,331 --> 00:11:34,498
That depends. What's a trove?
260
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:37,468
We'll circle back to
that. True or false?
261
00:11:37,470 --> 00:11:40,371
At times, you have referred
to yourself as being dumb.
262
00:11:40,373 --> 00:11:41,973
True.
263
00:11:41,975 --> 00:11:44,241
And do you enjoy feeling that way?
264
00:11:44,243 --> 00:11:46,344
No.
265
00:11:46,346 --> 00:11:48,000
Well, let me change that.
266
00:11:48,003 --> 00:11:49,846
I'm presenting you with an opportunity
267
00:11:49,849 --> 00:11:52,550
to achieve the full
potential of your mind.
268
00:11:54,152 --> 00:11:57,621
Are you gonna do some experiment
where we switch brains?
269
00:11:57,624 --> 00:11:58,687
No.
270
00:11:58,690 --> 00:12:00,390
'Cause I've seen it on Gilligan's Island
271
00:12:00,393 --> 00:12:01,826
and I've seen it on The Flintstones
272
00:12:01,828 --> 00:12:03,894
and it never goes well.
273
00:12:06,633 --> 00:12:09,900
Ooh. Gilligan.
274
00:12:09,902 --> 00:12:14,536
♪ Then sings my soul,
my savior God... ♪
275
00:12:14,539 --> 00:12:16,774
Oh, who do you think
you're fooling here?
276
00:12:16,776 --> 00:12:19,543
I have no idea what
you're talking about.
277
00:12:19,545 --> 00:12:22,747
Listen to me. Veronica has
a rough family situation,
278
00:12:22,749 --> 00:12:24,981
and she's trying to improve her life.
279
00:12:24,984 --> 00:12:27,818
And I admire that. Very inspirational.
280
00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:29,153
Georgie,
281
00:12:29,155 --> 00:12:31,512
believe me, I'm glad
to see you in a church,
282
00:12:31,515 --> 00:12:34,992
but I do not want you taking
advantage of that girl.
283
00:12:34,994 --> 00:12:39,196
Taking advantage? Veronica and I
are Bible buddies, nothing more.
284
00:12:40,299 --> 00:12:42,533
- I'm serious.
- Right.
285
00:12:42,535 --> 00:12:45,069
Maybe you should ask
yourself what's in you
286
00:12:45,071 --> 00:12:47,438
that makes you see sin
in the hearts of others.
287
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,573
Okay, now you're pushing it.
288
00:12:51,744 --> 00:12:54,679
Lord Jesus, please help
my mother with her anger.
289
00:12:56,949 --> 00:12:59,316
- Can I get an amen?
- No.
290
00:13:01,487 --> 00:13:03,721
Why do we need the camera?
291
00:13:03,723 --> 00:13:06,457
So people in the future
can see your transformation.
292
00:13:07,860 --> 00:13:09,160
Where are you going?
293
00:13:09,162 --> 00:13:11,495
To put on a dress for the future people.
294
00:13:11,497 --> 00:13:13,631
Hello, people of the future.
295
00:13:13,633 --> 00:13:16,966
My name is Missy Cooper and
this is my best friend Celeste.
296
00:13:16,969 --> 00:13:19,904
She's dating Joey Lawrence.
297
00:13:25,422 --> 00:13:27,923
You want to hang out Saturday?
298
00:13:27,925 --> 00:13:30,442
Can't. I signed up to get baptized.
299
00:13:30,445 --> 00:13:33,295
Oh, yeah. I've been meaning to do that.
300
00:13:33,297 --> 00:13:36,765
Well, why don't you join
me? We could do it together.
301
00:13:36,767 --> 00:13:39,786
Sure. You and me, getting
double dunked. I like it.
302
00:13:39,789 --> 00:13:41,747
Can you imagine afterwards?
303
00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:44,473
All of our sins will be washed away.
304
00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:47,109
Yeah, and we can start
cranking out fresh ones.
305
00:13:49,947 --> 00:13:52,080
I just don't know where I went wrong.
306
00:13:52,083 --> 00:13:54,051
Are you sure your
questioning was skillful?
307
00:13:54,054 --> 00:13:56,985
I thought so, but after
two hours of interrogation,
308
00:13:56,987 --> 00:13:58,987
all I could extract
from my sister's brain
309
00:13:58,989 --> 00:14:01,898
was that there was some sort
of block with new kids on it.
310
00:14:01,901 --> 00:14:04,359
Sheldon, how's your
educational project going?
311
00:14:04,361 --> 00:14:06,328
Poorly. I've hit a wall.
312
00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:09,348
Have you considered B.F.
Skinner's behavior modification?
313
00:14:09,351 --> 00:14:11,099
- What's that?
- It uses punishment
314
00:14:11,101 --> 00:14:13,401
and reward to get the results you want.
315
00:14:13,403 --> 00:14:16,271
Ooh, punishment. I
like the sound of that.
316
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:20,742
In the right context, so do I.
317
00:14:20,744 --> 00:14:22,711
I took a real beating
at the craps table,
318
00:14:22,713 --> 00:14:25,747
and then I won it all back
playing Caribbean Stud Poker.
319
00:14:25,749 --> 00:14:28,150
Well, how does Caribbean
Stud Poker work?
320
00:14:28,152 --> 00:14:30,125
I have no idea. I was drunk off my ass.
321
00:14:30,128 --> 00:14:32,333
Way to go, Mom.
322
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:34,257
Way to lead a Christian life.
323
00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:36,525
Oh, does my daughter think poorly of me?
324
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:37,459
Yes.
325
00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:40,662
Good. I can die happy.
326
00:14:40,664 --> 00:14:44,766
Hey, Mom, just a heads-up,
I'm getting baptized tomorrow.
327
00:14:46,431 --> 00:14:47,997
Good Lord.
328
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,006
That boy's randiness knows no bounds.
329
00:14:51,008 --> 00:14:52,307
What are you talking about?
330
00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,475
He's only doing it
331
00:14:53,477 --> 00:14:54,976
'cause of that Veronica girl.
332
00:14:54,978 --> 00:14:57,179
Oh, sure. That makes sense.
333
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,880
What do you mean, it makes sense?
334
00:14:58,882 --> 00:15:01,379
When I was his age, I
hitchhiked to Florida
335
00:15:01,382 --> 00:15:03,442
'cause I had a friend
that had a girlfriend
336
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:05,554
who knew a girl who might be willing.
337
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:07,122
But then you met my
daughter and you didn't have
338
00:15:07,124 --> 00:15:08,957
to travel so far.
339
00:15:13,697 --> 00:15:15,330
According to B.F. Skinner,
340
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:18,270
if I can find the appropriate
punishment to motivate Missy,
341
00:15:18,273 --> 00:15:21,970
there's no limit to what
she might be able to learn.
342
00:15:21,972 --> 00:15:24,806
But what might that punishment be?
343
00:15:24,808 --> 00:15:27,175
Whip her with a rubber hose?
344
00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:31,413
No. That sounds like a
recipe for tendonitis.
345
00:15:31,415 --> 00:15:35,116
Administer small electric shocks?
346
00:15:35,118 --> 00:15:36,429
Tricky.
347
00:15:36,432 --> 00:15:38,887
If I get the voltage wrong, I
could spend the rest of my life
348
00:15:38,889 --> 00:15:41,823
in an institution for
the criminally insane.
349
00:15:43,927 --> 00:15:46,595
Or I inflict harm
350
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:50,031
on the object she loves
more than life itself.
351
00:15:52,382 --> 00:15:57,652
Celeste, you're about to become
part of scientific history.
352
00:15:59,843 --> 00:16:02,077
All right, everybody,
welcome to the 1990
353
00:16:02,079 --> 00:16:03,942
East Texas Baptist Olympics.
354
00:16:06,016 --> 00:16:08,676
'Cause we're in the pool of water.
355
00:16:08,679 --> 00:16:10,703
Anyway, I want to welcome
356
00:16:10,706 --> 00:16:13,221
our little sister Veronica Duncan,
357
00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,423
who I will be dunkin'.
358
00:16:15,425 --> 00:16:16,640
Sorry.
359
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:19,560
I can't turn it off. And
I also want to welcome
360
00:16:19,563 --> 00:16:21,696
George Cooper, who has recently found
361
00:16:21,698 --> 00:16:23,365
his way to the Lord.
362
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:25,734
Howdy. Praise Jesus.
363
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,645
Are you ready to learn
some advanced calculus?
364
00:16:29,648 --> 00:16:30,905
Nope.
365
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,874
Be right back.
366
00:16:32,876 --> 00:16:35,277
Take your time.
367
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,676
Veronica, do you trust in Jesus Christ
368
00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:40,248
as your personal Lord and savior?
369
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,617
I do.
370
00:16:42,619 --> 00:16:44,819
It's upon your profession of faith
371
00:16:44,821 --> 00:16:47,188
that I baptize you, my sister,
372
00:16:47,190 --> 00:16:52,794
in the name of the Father, the
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
373
00:17:17,187 --> 00:17:20,088
Dang.
374
00:17:20,090 --> 00:17:22,101
All right, let's try this again.
375
00:17:22,104 --> 00:17:24,325
Would you be ready to
learn some advanced calculus
376
00:17:24,328 --> 00:17:26,494
if it saved Celeste's pigtails?
377
00:17:26,496 --> 00:17:29,331
What are you doing? Put her down.
378
00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:32,000
Not until I modify your behavior.
379
00:17:32,002 --> 00:17:36,538
In the name of the Father,
Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
380
00:17:38,608 --> 00:17:40,575
Sheldon, I'm warning you.
381
00:17:49,353 --> 00:17:50,632
Hallelujah!
382
00:17:50,635 --> 00:17:51,820
We did it!
383
00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:55,557
Ooh, I'm so happy.
384
00:17:55,559 --> 00:17:57,192
I love you.
385
00:17:58,528 --> 00:18:01,096
Is it working? Are
you feeling motivated?
386
00:18:01,098 --> 00:18:02,976
Very.
387
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,573
Care to explain yourself?
388
00:18:11,575 --> 00:18:13,408
I was trying to motivate Missy
389
00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:15,804
to expand her intellectual horizons.
390
00:18:15,807 --> 00:18:18,213
By torturing her Cabbage Patch doll?
391
00:18:18,215 --> 00:18:20,281
Well, it's not like I
shocked her with electrodes,
392
00:18:20,283 --> 00:18:22,093
- which was an option.
- Enough.
393
00:18:22,096 --> 00:18:24,586
To be clear, I meant to
shock Missy, not the doll.
394
00:18:24,588 --> 00:18:25,754
That would be ineffective.
395
00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:27,687
Enough! And you.
396
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:30,759
Getting baptized just to kiss
a girl? What were you thinking?
397
00:18:30,761 --> 00:18:33,328
Sounds like you know
what I was thinking.
398
00:18:33,331 --> 00:18:36,617
Well, you are both grounded.
399
00:18:42,539 --> 00:18:45,441
Dear Alf, I'm your number one fan.
400
00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:48,044
I like you because you're
an alien but you're funny,
401
00:18:48,046 --> 00:18:51,480
unlike my brother who's
an alien but just a jerk.
402
00:18:51,482 --> 00:18:54,417
Anyway, I hope you're enjoying
your time here on our planet
403
00:18:54,419 --> 00:18:57,019
and have found things
to eat other than cats.
404
00:18:57,021 --> 00:18:58,921
I recommend chicken nuggets.
405
00:18:58,923 --> 00:19:01,657
Sincerely, Missy Cooper, age ten.
406
00:19:01,659 --> 00:19:06,295
"P.S. My favorite color
is pink. What's yours?"
407
00:19:06,297 --> 00:19:08,631
Ha. What a cutie pie.
408
00:19:08,633 --> 00:19:11,300
Hey, hey, Barbara, we got any
more of those pink T-shirts
409
00:19:11,302 --> 00:19:12,635
with my face on them?
410
00:19:12,637 --> 00:19:15,371
I want to send one to
this Missy Cooper kid.
411
00:19:15,373 --> 00:19:18,040
Oh, oh, and get me some
chicken nuggets, huh?
412
00:19:18,043 --> 00:19:21,378
Hello? Anybody out there?
413
00:19:23,414 --> 00:19:25,948
Apparently not.
414
00:19:25,950 --> 00:19:27,507
Barb!
415
00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:30,753
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