All language subtitles for My So-Called Life s01e17 Betrayal

I loved Jordan Catalano so much,
and talked about him so much...

and thought about him so much,
It was like he lived inside me.

Like he had taken possesslon
of my soul, or something.

And then one day...

I got over him!

It was like Jordan Catalano had been
surglcally removed from my heart.

And I was free.

My, isn't the moonlight terrible?
And choir practice going on.

I think if you hold your
breath, you can hear...

the train all the way to Kentucky...

- Abyssinia Churchill is auditioning?
- Yeah, she's good.

Look at her, she's really good.
Screw this.

Rayanne, don't let her
being good psyche you out.

I can't believe I let you
guys talk me into auditioning...

for this stupid play.

Our Town. What's that?
It's a town, it's ours, end of story.

Rayanne, you can do this.
Just do what you did last night.

- You should have seen her.
- Rayanne, stage fright is normal.

Thanks for the news flash,
Mr. Drama.

Just because your crashing
at the teacher's.

You should have seen her
at my house last night.

- She became Emily.
- I became you.

Emily is supposed
to be sweet and innocent.

- So?
- So, I just imitated you.

You really think I'm
sweet and innocent?

- You really think I was good?
- Hey, Holly Gallanoy is up there.

That's GA. You're next.

If you knew the dream I had about
Corey Hellfrick last night...

you wouldn't think I was
so sweet and innocent.

You had an erotic dream
about Corey Hellfrick?

Join the club.

Anyway, it proved one thing.
I am so over Jordan Catalano.

- Yeah, we've all heard that before.
- This time, I mean it.

First of all, he was only my
boyfriend for a split second.

Second of all...

I don't think we were ever really
meant for each other.

As friends, maybe, but that's it.

It's just such a relief to
finally have my life back.

Rayanne Graff?

Rayanne, think of it this way.

Acting is like lying,
and who's a better liar than you?

When something matters to you,
you do this hair-flick thing?

And then your eyes get all wide.
And you stand sort of...

Quit studying me,
and get out there.

Rayanne Graff?

I just can't sleep yet, Papa.
The moonlight is so wonderful.

And the smell of Miss Gibbs
heliotropes, can you smell it?

Okay, I like the layout.

But Principal Foster's
name has to be bigger...

than the Vice Principal's,
or he'll have a total cow.

- What's this?
- About the...

Those are the
after-school club photos.

Good. Okay, but...

we don't have room for all the
after-school clubs, so leave out...

the ones with less than
five people in them.

- None of them have more than five.
- Chess Club has six.

Sometimes.

- So, I'll fix Foster's name.
- You're the best.

- Where's that petty cash receipt?
- I'll get it.

- Thank you.
- Look, about...

the budget, for the video?

Look, Krakow, Foster didn't
even want a year-end video.

I had to, basically, beg.
So, keep it simple.

Just a few candid shots of people
hanging out where people hang out.

Oh, okay. So, where
do people hang out?

- I bet your pal, Abyssinia, got it.
- You must be so proud.

Shut up! I barely know Abyssinia.
I'm proud of you. You were great.

I just didn't cry right.
I should have cried more like you.

You know? Your little first...

and then your mouth collapses.

- Why are you crying like Angela?
- Shut up! I do not cry like that.

You do so. Oh my God.
It's Corey Hellfrick.

Right. And he's
wearing a towel, right?

- I had this dream last night...
- Angela.

He was wearing this
really weird towel...

made of saltines,
and it kept crumbling...

- Hi.
- Hi.

Nice cry. Your audition.

Oh, you're in drama club?

He paints scenery.
I mean, probably...

That's right.
You paint.

That's really...
That's interesting.

So, Corey, forget painting.

When you eat soup, what kind
of cracker would you have with it?

So what's the scenery going
to be like, for Our Town?

- You really want to know?
- Oh, yeah. Of course.

So is it going to be realistic? Or...

It's supposed to be
almost artificial, in a way.

When the play
was first produced...

I like him. I do.

And I want to pay thls much
attentlon to every word he says.

It's not just because
Jordan Catalano Is watching.

I mean, that's what he wanted.
Thornton Wilder.

Maybe I could, you know,
help or something?

I didn't know you were
interested in art.

Oh, yeah. Definitely.
I'm definitely interested.

I'd love to.
Definitely.

- Love to what?
- You know help or something.

Listen, if that's Hallie,
I'm not here.

She's just going to ask me what
I thought of the prospectus, and...

- I haven't even cracked it yet.
- So? You can't tell her that?

Hello? Hey there. Yeah.

Off the hook.

Maybe for now.
Hello? Oh, hi Camille.

Yeah, I guess he is.
She says you sound happy.

Sure. No, are you kidding?
I've got tons of stuff.

I'll get started tonight.
Okay. Well just let me know.

Bye, babe.
Clothing drive, at her church.

Oh, good. I have, two or
three things I can donate.

- What? Two or three?
- Well two.

You have tons of clothes
that you never wear.

That doesn't mean
that I never will.

Oh, I forgot. The one who has the
oldest clothes when they die, wins.

Only if I get free
reign over your closet.

Hello?
Oh, hi Hallie.

Oh I know, it's all happening
so fast, it's wonderful.

Yes, he is here...

but he's in the shower.

Okay.

Because my acting just sucked, okay?

Krakow, don't put that in my face.

See, she's upset.
She auditioned for Our Town, and...

You don't have to
tell the whole world.

It's just a stupid play.
Dead people come back and visit.

Yeah right.
Like that's really going to happen.

Excuse us.

I'm not going to hang out here
just to watch you get plastered.

Come on. I've been so good,
and you know it.

That's not the point.
The point is...

just forget it.

Hey. Can I have some of that?

Why not?
You got another one of those?

Yeah.

Here, before I finish it.

Oh, no, it's cool.
Have as much as you want.

- I'm drunk.
- Yeah, me too.

But not enough. So, Graff...

So who are you here with?

If you mean, where's Angela,
she didn't come.

Just like usual.

- So let me ask you something...
- It wasn't even my idea.

I auditioned for this stupid play.

It was Angela's. Yeah, right,
like I could be Emily.

Emily who?

It's this part, in this
stupid Our Town play.

It was just wishful thinking.
No, I could never be her.

Angela could be her.

Oh yeah?

She's exactly like Angela.

You know, she's so innocent that
she doesn't know she's innocent.

Yeah.

And she always says this stuff like...

"My, isn't the moonlight terrible?"

Yeah, she's always saying
innocent stuff like that.

No, I meant, I meant...
Never mind.

So, does she like that guy I keep
seeing her talking to, Corey...

or what?

I don't know,
it's hard to say, you know?

Sometimes it's like
I really think I know her.

And then it will be like,
like we're total strangers.

I know.

Hey, Catalano.

It's cool.

Hi.

Hey.

Rayanne.

When you call someone's name
kind of loud, and they don't hear you...

It makes you feel really Ionely.

- Sorry.
- Oh, hi. Sorry.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Oh, I should tell you...
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

So you should tell me...?

We're painting the oak
tree today after school.

We could use a few
more people, if...

Oh, that sounds great.
I mean, doesn't it?

Yeah, let's do it.
So, we'll see you then.

Okay, see you.

So that sounds like fun.
You know, painting.

- Definitely.
- Good.

So when do they tell you?
If you got the part or not?

I don't know. Soon. I don't care.

Ah, my head is pounding.

I was really out of it last night.

Yeah. Me too.

I guess we both were.

- Okay, so...
- Yeah, so...

- See you.
- See you.

- Hallie?
- Oh, hi.

I thought you and
Graham were meeting...

We are. I can't be early.
I'm never early.

But, Graham said he was
meeting you at your office.

I thought we said we'd meet here.

Come on in anyway. Camille Cherski,
this is Hallie Lowenthal.

Oh, neat. The restaurateur.
Or is it restaurantress?

Ah, it's Hallie.

Hi.

Damn. I do this all the time.

If I don't write it down...

Oh, tell me about it.
I'm the worst.

I forget. I just would
forget my stupid name.

I'm just the same way. I leave
notes for myself everywhere.

- On the bathroom mirror.
- On the front door.

In the car, for when I've
missed the one on the mirror.

- Hello?
- Clothes drive at the church.

Graham, yeah, she's here. He said
he knew that you would be here.

Hold on a second.

I'm sorry.
No, no we are not even.

Because, at least
I showed up on the right day.

Forget it. Forget it. Forget it.
Okay, I'll be there in ten.

- He wants to know, do you need him?
- Not going to touch that one.

Oh. Tell him I need paper towels.

She says,
"Bring home paper towels". Okay.

Ah, it was nice meeting...

Oh, God.
So small.

It was Angela's first dress.
No. This was Danielle's.

Baby clothes.

Break my heart. I got to go.

Let's get together again.
You know, you and...

- Brad.
- Brad. Right.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

She's sweet, isn't she?

- Isn't she?
- Yeah.

Krakow. Krakow.
So, how did it go last night?

Krakow?
Did you get anything?

- Why, what did you hear?
- What? Nothing.

Just, did you go
to Louie's, like I suggested?

Yeah, I did.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Krakow, did you get any good candids?

- Yeah, I did.
- Great. Let me have the tape.

- What?
- The tape. Give it to me.

- I can't. I mean...
- Is there a problem?

Exactly. There's a problem.

Look. My butt is on the
line with this video thing.

Now what is the problem?

Could you just excuse us for a second?

Thanks.

I can not believe it, what he told me.
Can you believe it?

- Same thing happened...
- Am I supposed to tell her?

- Yeah you're supposed...
- I can't tell her.

It's not my place to tell her.
Right?

But if I don't tell her,
is that like being a friend?

Is it being more of a friend
to tell her or to not tell her?

See, I can see not telling her,
because if I tell her...

it's almost like I'm saying, "See,
I told you so about Rayanne Graff."

And that's not what
I would tell her, if I told her.

- Is it?
- No, you'd be telling her because...

I would want to know.
Wouldn't you want to know?

Yeah, I would definitely want to know.

Why did Brian Krakow
have to witness this?

And if Rayanne had to do this totally,
low life, disgusting thing...

couldn't she at least
have done it in private?

- Hey, Rickie.
- Oh, hi.

Is Rayanne, I mean,
does she, like...

Is Angela, like...
I mean, the thing is...

Hey, Brian. Could you pick
a sentence and go with it?

I have to talk to you.

I mean...

I have to talk to someone,
and you are the only one left.

Rickie, you would not believe...

- Hey. Here's a brush.
- Oh, thanks.

- Don't forget, wipe it off each time.
- I won't.

You would not believe the number
Sharon Cherski just pulled on me.

Like what?

Oh, like how Rayanne
supposedly did it with Jordan.

And how Brian Krakow supposedly
has proof of it on video.

I honestly believed
she was past all of this.

I thought she was over
her jealousy of Rayanne.

But I guess she isn't.

Or else, why would she say
something like that to me?

Because it's true.

Brlan.
Angela Chase Is here to see you.

- Oh, sorry.
- What are you doing here?

You know, people should tell
people when they have visitors.

Brian, you didn't finish your oatmeal.

I need that tape.

The tape, Brian. Just give it to me.
I want to see it.

- I have a right to see it.
- What are you talking about?

Don't pretend like you don't know
what I'm talking about, Brian.

- This is partly your fault.
- My what?

This is my fault?
This is my fault?

- Just give it to me.
- Forget it. I have other things on it.

- I don't care.
- Hey.

You shouldn't see it.

I don't think you
really want to see it.

It'll just make you feel worse.

Okay, good. Try to watch your form.
Okay?

Nice. Better. Good job.

- Graff, get in line...
- I'm late.

- Can I get in front of you?
- Sure, yeah.

Chase and Graff, you're next.

Okay, let's hit the showers.

Cherski.

- Sharon, are you coming?
- She'll be there in a minute.

So, congratulations,
your dream came true.

What dream?

Now you've got an iron-clad, perfect
excuse never to talk to me again.

You should be celebrating.

You think I'm happy about this?
Somebody I care about has been hurt.

And you just couldn't wait
to go to them with the news.

Don't turn this around on me.
I said what I said to protect her.

"Protect her." What a crock.

That's right.
So she would know.

Because it's what you do,
when someone is your friend.

- You brought this on yourself.
- And you're just so happy I did.

No, I'm not.

Not at all.

I know, I know. I'm late.
Getting across town was insane.

And forget parking.
I'm in a really weird space.

You brought Chinese?

Yeah.
Think I'd eat the food here?

It's like blood sausage or scrapple.

Shouldn't you move it?
I mean the car.

Yeah, in a minute.
Come on. So?

What did you think of the prospectus?

- You still haven't read it, have you?
- What?

You're afraid to read
the prospectus, aren't you?

I'm what?

It's okay.
It's understandable, actually.

This is a huge risk for you.
It's not that big of a risk.

Yes it is. You're risking everything.
Eat.

Look, we're about
to become partners.

We have to tell each other the truth,
or this is never going to work.

So, I think we should dig into that
prospectus thing this minute...

and we don't quit until
every inch of that sucker...

is comprehended by both of us.

What?

Nothing it's just...
You can be a real pain in the ass?

I know. Honey, I'm a Jewish girl
from Texas. I'm your worst nightmare.

You know, you could drive
a sane person crazy.

- Me? What did I do?
- Nothing.

Except, every time we have a damn
conversation, it's like the first one.

I can't make any damn headway.

Show me the damn prospectus.

I have to move my car.

Rayanne.

Angela is not here.
She's painting scenery...

after school every night
this week with the drama club.

Really?

Of course.
Want to come in?

- There?
- Yeah.

- No, thanks. I guess I should...
- Are you sure?

Don't tell her I was here.

I mean, I guess I know you will,
because you guys are tight.

Tight.

Not like she tells you
everything, but you know...

No...

But if something
really horrible happened...

Did something really horrible happen?

Yes. But I really didn't think it was.

I mean, she said she
was totally over him.

- You mean Jordan?
- Or I would have never done it.

I mean, because it's not something
that either of us really...

It was just this thing.
That happened.

He was just there.

You and Jordan...

You hate my guts.
I mean, I guess I would too.

- If I were you.
- No. No, no. I don't hate you.

I guess I can certainly
understand how Angela feels.

Yeah.

I've never really hurt
somebody this bad before.

It's hard to believe. I mean,
but I guess you can't really...

hurt someone this bad...

unless you really matter to them.

Please don't tell her I was here.

Do you want it?
Here. Here, here it is. Okay?

Just take it. Just...
Satisfied?

You know... See, it doesn't
matter who has the stupid tape.

It happened.
It can't be erased.

I was just going to ask if we
could skip tutoring today.

So, what was on the tape?

Hey, Vasquez. Wait up.
You've been impossible to find.

Well, I'm right here.

So, how long are the two
of you going to keep this up?

Keep what up?

Come on. You and Angela.
The silent treatment.

I'm talking to you
right now, aren't I?

Barely.

Rayanne, what exact
reaction did you expect?

Forget it.

No, I mean it, Rayanne. What did
you expect her to feel like?

She didn't even hear my side.

Great. Go ahead. Think what
you want. You will anyway.

- Angela?
- Oh, hi. I mean...

- Hi.
- Oh. Bye.

Bye. Angela?
I know you're in here.

Rickie, I'm sorry, I have to be alone.

- You've been alone.
- No, I mean for years.

Look...

I can't believe it.
That they would do that.

I mean, who do they think they are?

I know.
I mean, I don't know.

I could kill them. I'm serious.
Both of them with my hands.

I know. But, you can't
hide in here forever.

Sorry, I'm not risking the
risk of running into her.

Or him. Or...
God, him and her.

That's never going to happen, because
they're completely avoiding each other.

I can't talk about...

them, like a them.

I know.

They're avoiding each other?

Angela, look.

You can't let their
stupid actions control you.

You've got to lead your own life.

You're right.

Fine. Fine.

Two can play at that game.

What game?

Oh, come on. They think
I'm some innocent little twit...

who they can treat
as bad as they want.

Well, they're wrong...

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Angela. Hey.

Hey, clothes drive is over.
Let's celebrate.

Let's go shopping.
Let's buy a lot of new clothes.

Things that we won't wear, so we'll
have something to donate next year.

By the way, what's the scoop?

I hear that Angela and Rayanne
aren't speaking.

Oh, I... Really?

Sharon won't dish the dirt.
What's happened?

I haven't got a clue.

Oh, hey. You know
what I didn't tell you?

They're going to get the lease.
Graham and Hallie Lowenthal.

You don't think Graham
is going to follow through.

No, it's not Graham.
It's that Hallie person.

I don't like her.

Camille. You met her
for two minutes.

No... No. I don't like her.

Alright, fine. You don't like her.
You know, she has a fiancée.

What can I tell you?
She and Graham get along.

- That's a good sign.
- They work well together. I mean...

They get along. That's good.
That's very good.

- Very good sign.
- Why?

Let's put it this way. Susie
Bertalucci realized her husband...

was having an affair when he
started arguing with his secretary.

If you can get that angry with someone,
there's passion involved.

Well, that's not the situation,
in my humble opinion.

That's good.

Camille, I love you.
You are such a good friend.

I know.

Angela.

Hey.

- Didn't you hear me?
- No.

Here.

- Why are you giving this to me?
- Because it's yours.

- Well, I don't want it.
- Well, it's your pen.

So?

So, you lent it to me in
Katimski's, remember?

Not really.

If it's not yours, give it back.

No.

Yeah, I was influenced by Spielberg,
but I think my...

my recent work is more
like Tarantino, only less violent.

Oh my God.

Hello.

Hi. Grab a brush.

Can I, talk to you for a second?

Sure.

- Are you okay?
- Yes. God.

Do you have anything
to drink or anything?

You drink?

- Why not? Why shouldn't I?
- I don't know.

- Why, I'm too innocent?
- No.

I'm sick of being like that.

- Angela. Just...
- What?

Why? Is there something
really wrong with me?

- No, just...
- Oh, God, please.

Can we just get really
drunk or something?

What the hell are you talking about?
You don't drink.

- Excuse us.
- Get away from me.

I got the part. I would never
have gotten it if it wasn't for you.

Look, I don't care anymore, okay?
So just go away.

You're not the only one who got hurt.

Forgive me if I can't
feel sorry for you, Rayanne.

You lost nothing, Angela.
You lost a lousy, selfish friend...

a guy you never really had.
You lost nothing.

I lost a really good friend.

I lost everything.

I'm glad she got that part.
She wanted that part.

What?
Who's side are you on?

I'm on your side. It's like,
impossible to be on Rayanne's side.

Even though I partly understand it.

- What do you mean?
- I mean, face it...

she has always partly
wanted to be you.

And in a way, I think this was
her screwed up way of...

for one night, kind of
pretending she was you.

I mean, I'm on your side,
no question.

But can I just ask you something?

Why are you making this big play...

for Cory Hellfrick, when you
know how I feel about him?

But... Because.
Because I thought...

You once told me
that you were over him.

But guess how I felt when
you started going after him?

I don't have to guess.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Camille and I went shopping.
I bought you a shirt.

Oh, thanks.

So, I found out why Angela hasn't
been taking Rayanne's phone calls.

- She slept with Jordan.
- Angela slept with Jordan?

No. Rayanne did.

Oh. God.
God, that is really low.

Well, but...

I mean, you know, it's not like Jordan
and Angela were officially together.

- That's not the point.
- I know.

What kind of insensitive,
self-centered, you know?

You?

Camille had this crush on this
guy freshman year in college.

They went out a couple of times,
and I had just been dumped.

You're kidding me.
Did Camille know?

Oh, she found out.
Tracy Koppell had the biggest mouth.

And she was really upset.
But eventually, and I don't know how...

but she found it in
her heart to forgive me...

and I've always been really grateful.

That makes five. Now, you told
me you went to bed with four guys.

So, do you like this?
Yeah...

I wanted to get you something
for the restaurant, but...

Oh, God, who knows if
there will even be a restaurant.

- Oh, come on. What do you mean?
- I don't know...

It's Hallie.
Like how she's always late.

Now even if we follow each other to
a meeting, she's late because...

she stopped somewhere to...
Not to mention the fact...

that she is physically incapable
of parking legally.

I'll tell you, it is enough to
drive a sane person crazy.

So you two...
I mean, you fight?

- What difference does it make, right?
- I mean, it's not the end of the world.

Hey listen, thanks for the shirt.
I love it.

I can't.
I can't go on.

It goes so fast, we don't have
time to look at one another.

Okay.

Yes, okay.

Oh, gee whiz. That's going
to be just great, isn't it?

Alright, yes, Mrs. Webb, yes.
Yes, yes.

Wait a second,
where, where is...

Where is Chi Kwon?

She left. She said her parents
wouldn't let her rehearse this late.

Okay. Well, maybe I can
speak to her parents.

Meanwhile...
Wait, who's back there?

Angela? Chase? Would you
come up here a minute?

Read Chi Kwon's part? Oh, come on,
it's just a stupid play.

- Get up here.
- Go ahead.

Thank you. And just,
look on with Abyssinia.

And, Rayanne, would you
come three feet downstage.

Which way?

Oh, you can remember it like this...

If you keep going downstage,
you're going to fall down.

Oh, oh, oh, and could you...

- Stop acting? Please?
- What?

Stop acting.
There's really no need for it.

You see, Emily is dead.
The life she had is over.

That's a pretty big deal. I mean...

Oh, gee whiz,
she is just now realizing...

how precious every
moment of that life really was.

And that she never really
appreciated what she had.

Just imagine what that
must feel like, Rayanne.

I can't go on, it goes so fast we don't
have time to look at one another.

I didn't realize.

So all that was going on,
and we never noticed.

Take me back.
Back to the hill, to my grave.

But first, wait.

One last look.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, world.

Goodbye,
Grover's Corners.

Momma and Papa.

Goodbye to clocks ticking.

Do any human beings ever
realize life while they live it?

Every every minute?

No. Saints and poets,
maybe they do so.

I'm ready to go back.

Were you happy?

No.

I should have listened to you.
But that's all human beings are.

Just blind people.

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