All language subtitles for My So-Called Life s01e14 On the Wagon

So Rayanne you got 33 days.

33 days to do what?

No, it's an expression.

In AA, it means you've been
clean and sober for over a month.

Oh, yes. I feel really good.

I know you do.
This is kind of a dangerous time.

So Jordan Catalano and I
had pretty much broken up...

but he stlll knew
the combinatlon to my locker.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing. Just...

You need me.
You must have me as your own.

You can't live another second
knowing others could possess me.

I could kill Tino.

What did you call that word?
You said it last week.

You know,
when you feel the need to eat.

- Hunger?
- No, that thing you said I was.

I wasn't actually
saying that you're orally fixated...

Orally fixated!
That's such a cool word.

You know, I was
saying that you have certain...

Because I have this theory of
how that probably happened to me.

You see, my mother,
she claims that she breast-fed me...

but I just have serious doubts.

You should see her boobs.
They are so firm.

Lolly?

Sure. Look, Rayanne,
I know that you've chosen...

not to continue these
sessions with me right now.

I only have to do this
therapy thing for a month...

- And then it's optional, right?
- No, I know that, I realize that.

I just need to know that you
have a support system in place.

I don't need a support system.
I got friends.

That's exactly why I'm raising this.
Didn't you mention to me...

that you've had some feelings
of distance from your friends...

- Since, you know, the incident?
- What incident?

I'm talking about
the night you nearly died...

the night that Angela's mother
rushed you to the hospital.

Now didn't you tell me
that since that night...

you've felt some distance between
yourself and your friend Angela?

I never said "distance".
I just don't see her that much.

It's not because of some incident,
it's because she's got this guy...

that she's involved with.

Which she wouldn't even have
if it wasn't for me.

And you don't feel any
awkwardness around Angela.

No. The thing with Angela...

is that even with this
stupid obsession with this guy...

she's totally there for me.

So where's Angela?

"Whatever you do,
don't take the first drink."

AA propaganda from
Miss Crazy-nowski. What a wimpette.

I thought you said you liked her.
That she was sensitive.

Sensitive wears thin.
Go ahead, keep it. I don't need it.

So, she's with Catalano again?

It is the weirdest break-up in history.

She's the one that needs a shrink.

So he just said,
"This isn't working for me"...

then he threw his mike right into
Joey's bass drum, and then he left.

So he quit? Tino quit Frozen Embryos?

Yes. I don't even think
we're allowed to call ourselves...

Frozen Embryos anymore
because it was Tino's name.

So now it's like,
off-limits or something.

I'm really sorry.

I am just really low.
I'll just find any excuse to touch him.

Hey. I'm sorry, am I interrupting?

No. Hi. No, you don't have to...

Whatever. Later.

He's just a bit upset
about this thing with Tino.

Why am I telling you? You must have
heard it happened, right?

Oh, yes. So what happened?

About Tino quitting Frozen Embryos.

I only know because he told me.

What, you think that
bothers me that you know?

Tino would be telling me right now
if he was in school.

Right, I know.

So, Angelica, what's the deal?
Do I ever get to see you again?

- I know, I've just been...
- I'm just kidding. Get out of here!

I see you too much,
don't flatter yourself.

No, really. You should really
come over after school.

- Is that cool with Pattycake?
- Yes, of course it is. Don't be crazy.

She never comes home
before 6:00 anyway.

Well, you know, maybe I will.

Careful.
Don't break the egg yolk.

So you actually
teach people how to cook?

Yes, I actually do. Listen,
I'm sorry that Angela's not home yet.

- Do you guys have definite plans?
- Like this?

That's perfect. You're a natural.
This must be her.

- You're back.
- I'm back.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Hey, watch that chocolate sauce.
I'll get the rest of the groceries.

Can I get you something to drink?
Like a soda?

Yes. Thanks.
Anything with sugar and caffeine.

So where's Angela?

She's got better things to do,
or what have you.

Well, it's great to see you.

So, you mean she's with...

I mean, I thought they weren't...

Exactly. You figured it out.
It's like watching a rollercoaster.

Actually, I think
they're in the ticket line, like...

- Really close to the rollercoaster.
- I see.

So, did Angela tell you?
I got 33 days.

I'm squeaky clean,
like a rubber ducky.

No, no, Angela didn't tell me.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks.

- Hi, honey.
- Hello.

You're supposed to say "Excuse me".

Right, sorry, excuse me.

- Oh, my god, the chocolate sauce.
- It's okay. It's not bubbling.

- Chocolate sauce! Can I try it?
- Be careful! It's very, very hot.

Just a taste. We're about to eat.

- Danielle. Come here. Let me fix it.
- No.

- I have to wash my whole face now.
- Good.

Rayanne,
why don't you stay for dinner?

- Yes, Angela will be back any minute.
- No, no. I got to go.

You know, my mom's
making dinner. Later.

You know,
that girl never said thank you.

- For the soda?
- For saving her life.

I can't sleep, Bert. I can't fall asleep.

Well, count sheep then, Ernle.

Count sheep?
What do you mean, count sheep?

I mean, just Ile there
and count sheep.

Just Imagine them one at a time
untll you get so sleepy...

you just fall asleep.

Okay, I'll try It, Bert. All right,
let's see, counting sheep.

So, when is dinner?

You're hungry?

- I haven't eaten since breakfast.
- You didn't eat lunch?

It's Tuesday.
I saw my counselor today.

What counselor?

My drug counselor. Miss Krysenowski.
Remember, I told you.

Okay, let's see what we got here.
Egg rolls!

Mini-quiche and pierogies!

I'm sick of appetizers.

I want a real meal,
with all four basic food groups...

and just for once can it
not be such an amazing surprise...

that I want to eat dinner like
every other American on the planet?

- Okay, what's up?
- Nothing.

Angela invites me over today...

and when I get there,
she's nowhere to be found.

- Did you two have a fight?
- No.

- Okay. What did you do?
- What did I do?

- Yes, to make Angela mad at you.
- I didn't do anything.

She's just with Jordan Catalano
all the time.

Well, then you hang out with her
while she's with Jordan.

You know Jordan's friends.
I mean, become part of it, Rainie.

That's not hard. Everyone loves you.

Look what we forgot we had.
Leftover Chinese.

Rainie...

butterfly shrimp.

Now, I see a lot of your friends
come and go...

and most of them
I could have cared less about.

But Angela, she's special.

What I still can't figure out
is why Tino even quit.

That's what's so frustrating.

Can you imagine what that's like?

To have to sit around,
trying to figure out...

what someone else is thinking.

- Hey, what's up?
- Rayanne, hi.

My parents said you stopped by,
but I thought you weren't going to.

No problem! Guzzles a six-pack,
2 hits of X, I was back to new!

So Catalano, how is it going?

I was just saying how
Frozen Embryos finally got a spot...

at this open mike night at Vertigo,
that coffeehouse.

- I know what Vertigo is.
- Right. Well.

They still don't have
a lead singer, so it's like...

should they blow it off, or find
somebody new by next Thursday, or...

- So Tino is still being a lowlife?
- Could you two leave?

Oh, my God. Angela,
I just had the most unbelievable idea.

I am so brilliant. I amaze myself.

- Me.
- What about you?

I should be the new lead singer
for Frozen Embryos.

Well, come on, I'm serious.
Talk to Jordan.

I just don't know if
that sounds very realistic.

What sounds realistic?

A month stone-cold sober,
that doesn't sound realistic?

I can't just tell Jordan Catalano
something like that.

God. Angela, think of it.
We'd have such a time.

You, hanging out with the band.
Me, being the band.

- Come on, he'll do it if you ask him.
- No, he won't. It's Jordan Catalano.

Just promise you'll ask for me, okay?

- Angelica, please?
- Sure. I promise.

I'll get It! I'll get It! I'll get It!
Hey, It's mine.

Hello? Yes. It's your boyfriend, Ryan.

He's not my boyfriend.
He was, but we're keeping it loose.

I'll take it in the other room.

Are either of them married yet?
I mean, how much have I missed?

I hope you can join us
for dinner tonight.

We never get to see you anymore.

Somebody hang up!

That's what everybody tells me.
Rayanne says that, you say that.

If Rayanne isn't seeing you and we're
not seeing you, who is seeing you?

- And how much of you?
- Dad.

I'm sorry. I asked a question
about your life, didn't I?

What came over me?

So, Rayanne seems to be doing okay.

Oh, she is. Of course she is.

She was actually seeing
a counselor for a little while.

She was seeing her? I thought
she told me she was still seeing her.

Got to go.

Jordan Catalano is giving me a ride to
school. Is that what you want to hear?

Yes. And am I ever going
to get a chance to meet him?

- Dad met him.
- I met him.

- Wait, are we the same person?
- Almost. But...

Mom, I'm going to be late for school.
There're state laws.

Anyway, it's completely over
between me and Jordan Catalano.

Well, it finally happened.
I've completely lost touch with her.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
wait, wait, wait.

- Who is this Ryan?
- Mom, I have to go to school.

I can't even face rehearsal tonight.

There's going be this big empty hole
where Tino used to be.

I'm really sorry. I mean,
I'm sure it's going to all work out.

- You'll find someone, somehow.
- Yes, right.

So, listen, this is probably
a really stupid idea, but...

would Frozen Embryos
ever want a girl?

I mean, to sing? Like, I don't know,
Rayanne Graff or something?

Rayanne? Graff.

Right, yes. No...

I mean, forget it. I'll see you.

So, did she talk to him?
They rehearse tonight...

so I guess I should
probably be there, right?

Rayanne, I hear they're not even
Frozen Embryos anymore.

They don't even have a name.

That's perfect.
Then I'll give them a name.

It'll be a totally new era.
An era of me.

Rayanne, if they don't want you...

Why would they possibly not want me?

I mean, I'm cute,
I'm a total exhibitionist...

and I can certainly sing
just as loud and obnoxious as Tino.

I just want to make sure you don't
make this into a bigger deal than it is.

You think I'm going to drink myself
into a stupor over some stupid band?

No! Of course not. It's just that
I actually spoke to Angela...

and I just don't think they're looking
for a girl singer or something.

So did she explain how good I am?

Look, I wasn't there,
I'm just telling you what she said.

I mean, maybe you should
just go talk to her yourself.

Maybe I will.

- What is it? What did she do?
- Nothing, yet.

I've seen her like this,
excited about something?

When she's excited like this,
it's kind of dangerous.

What?

- That was you?
- So?

Nothing. Nothing. You just...
You have a decent voice.

I'm sorry, did I say you could listen?

I'm sorry, I didn't know this was your
private recording studio.

I'm sorry, it is.

Look, so in your opinion
I can sing halfway decent?

Like, say,
I can sing in front of people?

Maybe if you dressed
a little more normal.

Let me ask you
your opinion about something.

Say one person finds out there's
a way she can get into a band...

that needs a lead singer,
and say this person can sing...

- This is you, right?
- Just listen.

So she asks this other person
to put in a good word for her...

because this other person
hangs out with someone in the band.

- What band?
- Shut up!

So, this other person
is acting all put out about this...

like it's some big chore or something.

Why? Because she wants to sing
in the band herself?

No, that would be totally impossible.
She totally could not attempt that.

The point is,
wouldn't she want to do this?

I mean, if she was a real friend?
I mean, if she really believed in me?

I mean, her.

Unless, I guess,
she thought this person...

would make a complete fool of herself.

So this is Angela, right?

I'm just saying, lower it.

What are you saying?
You think my bass is too loud?

- Yes, and out of tune.
- I'm not out of tune, man.

What, Tino's gone, now you're telling
everybody who's out of tune?

You're the drummer, you don't know
anything about who's out to tune.

Yes, I know when
something sounds like crap.

All right! Can we just
get through this one song?

- I'm going to get some pizza.
- Now you're going to eat?

- That's all you ever do is eat, man.
- What are you, the new Tino?

Throw that bass anywhere
near my drums, I'll kill you.

All right! Look at us! We're ridiculous!

We're not a band anymore.
We don't even have a name.

Hello? Angela, telephone!

- Hello?
- Hey.

Oh, hi! Danielle, hang up!

Danielle, I know you're listening,
I can hear the TV.

Danielle, come on,
let's respect Angela's privacy.

So, Rayanne Graff is here.

Rayanne is there?
What's she doing there?

I don't know,
I was sort of going to ask you.

I mean, no one even invited her.

Now she's coming on to my drummer,
acting like she's high.

What does she want?

I don't know,
I don't have anything to do with it.

- So how Is rehearsal going?
- Sucks.

Right now everyone is just
sitting around the loft drinking beers.

Danielle, hang up!

Patty!

So I'm really sorry,
I mean, about Rayanne.

I'm glad you called, though.
I mean, thls Is the flrst time...

you've ever called me on the phone.

I got to go.

You were listening in on
her phone conversation?

Patricia, you disappoint me!

Shut up! It's the only way
I could get any information.

And by the way, that was your close,
personal friend Jordan Catalano.

It seems that Rayanne
is in a loft drinking beer.

So much for her great sobriety.

How is Jordan? He send his regards?

All right. You met him for one minute.
Stop lording it over me.

You know, I...

I have to say,
I'm worried about Rayanne.

Well, Angela seems to think
she's doing okay.

Yes, but would Angela even tell us
if she was worried about her?

I mean, she barely speaks to us.

I have this feeling
like she's in trouble.

What do I do? Do I talk to her mom?

- Patty.
- No.

I know, I can't,
it's crossing the line.

You're right.

I'm not right.
You have to be awake to be right.

Sorry.

Why is that, though, do you suppose?
I mean, why is it so taboo?

Why is it that you can't speak to
people honestly about their children?

Because... I'm going to kill you.

- Patty, it's 12: 15 already.
- I know, I know, I know. Okay...

I'm going to stop obsessing
about this, starting now.

- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.

Because.

Because nobody
wants to hear something like that.

Nobody wants to hear they may have
made a mistake with their kids.

Nobody wants to be accused
of not being a decent parent.

I mean, it is. It is an unwritten law...

whatever goes on in your family is
your business, period. Nobody else's.

Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep here.

Do you really believe that? I mean,
you really believe that it would be...

that much of an intrusion to casually
and non-confrontationally mention...

to someone that you happen to be
a little concerned about their child?

How would you respond
to something like that?

As to some friendly,
well-meaning comment like that?

Poison dart.

Goodnight, Gracie.

You know, you're absolutely right.
It would be an enormous mistake...

to speak to Amber about
Rayanne's drinking problem...

it would just make matters worse.

Well, I love you, too.
And please, shut up.

Oh, well.

So, you want to make love?
I mean, you know, since we're up?

Well, speak for yourself.

Just close your eyes
and be very, very brave.

- Hi.
- Hi.

So, listen. I had no idea Rayanne
was going to show up at the loft.

And when I said
that thing about her...

the idea of her being in the band,
I just want to make sure...

that you didn't feel
pressured or anything.

Not that you would feel that way,
but in case you did...

I mean, you know,
it's up to you, obviously, so...

- She's in.
- What?

She's in the band.

You mean...

And it wasn't my idea. It was his.

This whole thing
is getting too weird. I got to go.

Angelica, I'm in! I'm an Embryo!
Or whatever you want to call it.

Hey, Rayanne!

- Yes, I heard, that's really great.
- Hey, Rayanne, you coming?

I got to go. I'll see you later.

What?

Amber! Hi, it's Patty Chase.
Angela's mom?

- Did I wake you?
- No, I always sound like this.

I was just having
a dream about Angela.

Her and her boyfriend, and
Rainie and me were in this log cabin.

If you mean Jordan Catalano,
he's not her boyfriend.

They've decided just to be friends.

Yes, right. So, anyway.
So they were all in this featherbed...

and I was making pancakes
for George Bush, of all people.

- So, Pat, what's up?
- Nothing.

I just wondered how things
were going with Rayanne.

Well, she's on the wagon,
so she's completely no fun anymore.

I'm just kidding. I'm very proud of her.

Did Angela tell you she's
going to be singing in Jordan's band?

Yes, so I hear.

So, you're certain
that she's not drinking.

About as certain as you are that
Angela and cutie-pie are just friends.

- I think I hear my other phone.
- What a coincidence. Me, too.

One, two, three, four.

It's not working. It's not working.

One, two, three, four.

Hey, Graff, sing.

- What's up? Are you going to sing?
- Let's go.

- Hey, turn your amp down.
- What?

Catalano, tell him to
turn his amp down.

Don't tell Catalano to tell me,
you tell me.

Forget it. This is
exactly why Tino left. Exactly.

Maybe you should stop worrying
about me and try to keep a beat.

That's it!

Hey, I'm out of here, too, man.

Hey, Graff. The Vertigo guy called.
Our audition's tonight.

What?

Yeah. So try to think of a name.

Forget a name. We're not ready.

You'll do okay.
Just wear something tight.

That's your solution?
Cut off my circulation?

We need a real rehearsal.

Look, you wanted this chance,
you got it. Don't blow it.

So, can I still borrow the boots?

Absolutely. So, I really
hope I can come, it's just...

No, it's okay.
If you can't, you can't.

No, I just, you know, I have this
whole thing with school and all.

It's okay.
Rickie invited half the school.

Seriously? Well, I'm
definitely going to try to go.

So, what song are you singing again?

Angela. I don't know!
They never told me!

What are you doing? Rayanne,
no, it's not worth it. Please.

Just to get me through tonight.

You should have seen your face.

Bye!

- Honey, is Angela excited?
- Yes.

Me, too. Even more than
when I served that BLT...

to Bobby Dylan.
He said I could call him Bobby.

- And then he stiffed you.
- Come here, baby.

- Honey, your hands are like ice!
- I know, my heart is beating a lot.

And I can hardly breathe.

Sweetheart, are you all right?
You're scared, aren't you?

No, are you kidding?
This is going to be incredible.

This is going to be
the most amazing night of my life.

Anyway, that was the conversation.

I'll bet she doesn't
even have a second phone.

So? Neither do we.

Well, that's not the point,
I mean... Hi!

There's this thing tonight
at this coffeehouse, Vertigo...

and I promised Rayanne
I would ask if I could go...

but I don't even really want to go,
and I feel so guilty.

See she's singing
with this band that...

All right, it's Jordan's band, but
this has nothing to do with Jordan...

or the fact that we broke up
or anything, that's what's so weird...

it's just something between
Rayanne and me, I can't even describe.

but it's there,
and it's been there for a while...

since that night when you
had to drive her to the hospital.

It's this thing that
we never talk about.

So these are mine? Thanks,
I was kind of low on clean socks.

Thanks for listening.

It's okay. She'll ignore you for
another month just to make up for it.

I know.

Hey.

- What are you doing here?
- What am I doing here?

- You begged me to come.
- Right, right.

I had this fear that
there would be no audience.

So I just started asking anyone.

Thank you. That really
makes me feel wonderful.

Are you sick or something?

This always happens
when I get nervous. I lose my voice.

So Rayanne's singing
and you get the laryngitis?

Listen, when she starts singing,
you can't talk.

But afterwards applaud,
but not too much, but, sincerely.

- You're telling me how to applaud.
- Shut up, shut up, shut up.

I'm sorry, I'm a little on edge.
I got to pray now.

I'm just going to
introduce you, and then...

Come on.

Is this on?

Welcome to Club Vertigo
open mike night.

The first group is called Frozen...

- What is this? Embers?
- That's not our name.

We're between names.

- Between Names.
- All right, Between Names.

- Shut up, man, let her finish.
- Dld you hear what she called us?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Go ahead and say hi.
- Hey, every...

This is Rayanne's first time.
I mean, singing with us.

One, two, three, four.

Rayanne? Rayanne!

Wait!

Rayanne, you're okay.

I'm not okay, and you know it.
Now everybody knows it.

And you all thought I
would screw up, didn't you?

Well, congratulations! You were right!

Rayanne, wait!

Don't worry, I mean, there's
probably nothing to worry about.

No, there is.

Hello? Rickie? What is it?

Rickie, please calm down,
I can't understand what you're saying.

Rickie? It's Angela's mom.
Start at the beginning.

- Amber?
- Yes.

Hi. Patty Chase, Angela's mom.

Yes. I know who you are. You know?

You don't have to
keep reintroducing yourself.

I'm sorry. And I'm sorry
to barge in on you like this.

I tried calling, but...

You know, I think we could
be part of the same karass.

You and Angela,
me and Rayanne, and Rickie.

- Part of what?
- A karass.

It's a group of people who kind of
get mixed up in each other's lives...

in order to do God's will. It was in
"Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut.

Amber, Rayanne's been drinking again.

- Now, do you have any idea where...
- She has not been drinking.

Amber, I found a glass
on our bar with whiskey in it.

What did you do, dust for prints?
Run a DNA test?

That's not the point.

You don't think I know my own kid?

How well do you know Angela?

I know that Rayanne is missing.
Rickie called me last night.

He was hysterical.

Listen, I know that this is
completely inappropriate, okay?

I know that it is not my place to
tell you how to raise your daughter...

but I can't help it.

I'm involved, okay,
whether, you like it or not...

and you can hate me...

but I can't just stand by
and watch this girl destroy herself.

Somebody going to turn
that damn thing off?

Rayanne?

I don't understand...

Rickie said that you were gone.

She was right here, of course,
where else would she be?

We ate raw chocolate chip cookie
dough, and we turned the phone off.

- You don't have to go to school today.
- No, I want to.

Poor Rickie, he probably
had fourteen heart attacks.

I could give her a ride to school.

I'll write her a late note.

I'm a good mother.

I'm a damn good mother, so you can
just get right off your high horse.

Just so you know,
I didn't drink that whiskey.

I poured it back. You can ask Angela.

You haven't had one drink?
Since that night in the hospital?

No. Swear to God.

Why didn't you tell me that you
had stopped seeing your counselor?

I don't know. Maybe just because
I wanted you to think I was okay...

so you wouldn't mind if I,
you know, stayed friends with Angela.

I guess she means a lot to you.

I guess that's the one thing
you and I have in common.

Okay, I have to go.

- Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Chase.
- Rayanne?

Apparently you and I
are in the same karass.

Call me Patty.

Patty, thanks.

For my life.

Rickie! Rickie, wait!

Here, I was late. Rickie, wait!

Rickie, come on, stop.
Rickie, come on...

- Don't! Do not touch me.
- Rickie, come on...

No! I can't anymore.
You don't know how scared I was.

I thought you were dead.

I was picking out the clothes
I should wear to your funeral.

- Rickie, that hurt.
- Not enough.

Hi.

I've never been out here before.

So Rickie was really scared.

I mean, I was, too.

So, what, you're mad at me?

Because I didn't
get to hear you sing?

You didn't miss much,
just me making a fool out of myself...

and you've seen that plenty. Right?

Anyway, I knew you wouldn't show.

- I can't stand these looks anymore.
- What looks?

You and Rickie looking at me
like I'm going to lose control...

like any minute I'm going to go on
some jag or something.

I just can't stand knowing
what you're thinking about me.

What? What am I thinking?

I'm messed up.

That I'm too messed up
for you to be my friend anymore.

Rayanne, that's not true. I never...

I'm still your friend.

Nothing's changed.

But that wasn't
completely true either.

And we both knew It.

Maybe it was just easier, you know?

When you'd come to me for advice
and stuff, like you used to before.

I should have been there.

Last night, I should have
been there no matter what.

Miss you.

I know.

I missed you, too.

- Rickie, I'm sorry.
- I swear, I'm going to kill you.

Excuse me, pardon me. Excuse me,
pardon me. Excuse me, pardon me.

- We're not cutting, okay?
- We were here before.

- He was saving our place.
- God, I worship this movie.

- Is James Dean an Italian?
- Jordan Catalano is part Italian.

- I told you not to mention him!
- Okay.

- I like Latin guys.
- Like me?

Like Andy Garcia.

Oh, my God. In that movie,
where that girl is blind?

What's his name,
what's his name, what's his name?

- Luis!
- Who is Luis?

You know, the guy on
Sesame Street, with the repair shop.

What? Luis is this genius, okay?
He can fix anything.

You are so crazy.

I don't care. I like Sesame Street.
I still watch it every day.

I used to love their songs.
What was that one...?

No, no.

Sing it sister, all right!

Come on!

All right, girl!

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