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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,039 --> 00:00:01,039 [upbeat music] 2 00:00:03,702 --> 00:00:05,803 Mike, your father's coming over now. 3 00:00:05,828 --> 00:00:07,061 This is the perfect time to ask him. 4 00:00:07,063 --> 00:00:09,930 Why do you always want us to connect? 5 00:00:09,932 --> 00:00:13,834 Can I just run out the clock until he dies? 6 00:00:13,836 --> 00:00:15,536 You and your dad have been getting closer, 7 00:00:15,538 --> 00:00:17,037 so let's keep that going. 8 00:00:17,039 --> 00:00:18,339 - Here he comes. - Stop it, stop it, stop it. 9 00:00:18,341 --> 00:00:19,740 He's almost here. Don't be nervous. 10 00:00:19,742 --> 00:00:20,808 - Dad, hey. - Hi. 11 00:00:20,810 --> 00:00:24,045 It's game night. You wanna be partners? 12 00:00:24,047 --> 00:00:26,380 - Sure, why not? - Really? 13 00:00:26,382 --> 00:00:30,751 Thanks. I mean, I don't care. 14 00:00:30,753 --> 00:00:32,486 It doesn't matter who your partner is, Dad. 15 00:00:32,488 --> 00:00:34,221 Stella and I always win. 16 00:00:34,223 --> 00:00:35,222 You know, now that you're adults, 17 00:00:35,224 --> 00:00:37,425 I think you can handle the truth. 18 00:00:37,427 --> 00:00:38,759 We always let you win. 19 00:00:38,761 --> 00:00:39,994 What? 20 00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,695 - You let us win? - Don't be upset. 21 00:00:41,697 --> 00:00:43,531 We were just trying to bolster your self-esteem. 22 00:00:43,533 --> 00:00:46,600 Not a parent's job. 23 00:00:46,602 --> 00:00:50,004 With all the non-stop praise and trophies for just showing up 24 00:00:50,006 --> 00:00:53,407 your generation can't handle losing. 25 00:00:53,409 --> 00:00:55,676 I don't want to win without actually winning. 26 00:00:55,678 --> 00:00:59,547 Stella, we're gonna win tonight, on our own, fair and square. 27 00:00:59,549 --> 00:01:01,215 Yeah! 28 00:01:01,217 --> 00:01:04,085 If we're losing, let us win. 29 00:01:04,087 --> 00:01:05,953 Are you kidding? We're going to crush 'em. 30 00:01:05,955 --> 00:01:07,455 Right, partner? 31 00:01:07,457 --> 00:01:09,256 Oh, I forgot the damn ketchup. 32 00:01:09,258 --> 00:01:11,992 I'll get it for you... 33 00:01:11,994 --> 00:01:14,895 partner. 34 00:01:14,897 --> 00:01:16,897 - Bob. - Hey, Alice. 35 00:01:16,899 --> 00:01:20,000 I have a big surprise for you. 36 00:01:20,002 --> 00:01:22,536 - Ethan! - Hey, Dad! 37 00:01:22,538 --> 00:01:24,839 Hey! 38 00:01:24,841 --> 00:01:27,675 Everyone, it's Alice's boy, Ethan, 39 00:01:27,677 --> 00:01:28,909 the professional golfer. 40 00:01:28,911 --> 00:01:30,244 Isn't he handsome? 41 00:01:30,246 --> 00:01:32,480 Lock up your daughters. He's single. 42 00:01:32,482 --> 00:01:33,814 - Mom. - Come here, Ethan. 43 00:01:33,816 --> 00:01:35,049 Say hi to everyone. 44 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:39,320 Martina? Stella? Oh, so good to see you! 45 00:01:39,322 --> 00:01:43,591 - And who is your lovely friend? - Ethan, it's me, Shea. 46 00:01:43,593 --> 00:01:45,192 Shea? 47 00:01:45,194 --> 00:01:46,861 Little Shea with the coke bottle glasses, 48 00:01:46,863 --> 00:01:49,630 acne, and dental headgear? 49 00:01:49,632 --> 00:01:53,200 Yes, puberty was not my friend. 50 00:01:53,202 --> 00:01:56,137 Nor were any actual people. 51 00:01:56,139 --> 00:01:57,671 Well, look at you now. 52 00:01:57,673 --> 00:01:59,840 Not that I'm looking. 53 00:01:59,842 --> 00:02:03,577 I mean, I am, but just the regular amount. 54 00:02:03,579 --> 00:02:06,080 Hey, how about a round of drinks on the house 55 00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,982 for my wonderful son? 56 00:02:07,984 --> 00:02:11,585 Wow, all I did was get the ketchup, Dad. 57 00:02:11,587 --> 00:02:12,753 Not you! 58 00:02:12,755 --> 00:02:13,854 Ethan! 59 00:02:13,856 --> 00:02:18,325 Hey, Mike. My brother from another mother! 60 00:02:18,327 --> 00:02:21,195 And father. 61 00:02:21,197 --> 00:02:22,763 So what brings you to Seattle, Ethan? 62 00:02:22,765 --> 00:02:24,999 On my way to the Tokyo Pro-Am. 63 00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:26,066 The sponsors are putting me up 64 00:02:26,068 --> 00:02:27,368 for the night at the Four Seasons. 65 00:02:27,370 --> 00:02:28,469 The Four Seasons, Mike. 66 00:02:28,471 --> 00:02:31,906 That's all the seasons there are. 67 00:02:31,908 --> 00:02:33,174 I remember you when I fitted you 68 00:02:33,176 --> 00:02:34,909 for your first set of clubs. 69 00:02:34,911 --> 00:02:36,644 Only ten years old, and you could already drive 70 00:02:36,646 --> 00:02:39,013 the ball 200 yards. 71 00:02:39,015 --> 00:02:41,215 I still have those clubs, Dad. 72 00:02:41,217 --> 00:02:44,085 You trying to make me cry? 73 00:02:44,087 --> 00:02:45,853 Well, a celebration is in order. 74 00:02:45,855 --> 00:02:47,621 I think we should move game night. 75 00:02:47,623 --> 00:02:49,056 I love game night. 76 00:02:49,058 --> 00:02:51,258 And me and you, Dad, we're an unbeatable team. 77 00:02:51,260 --> 00:02:54,428 Perfect! We'll be partners! 78 00:02:54,430 --> 00:02:56,397 No reason not to be. 79 00:02:58,266 --> 00:03:00,000 Here's your stupid ketchup. 80 00:03:02,804 --> 00:03:05,806 [upbeat music] 81 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:13,582 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 82 00:03:13,815 --> 00:03:16,117 My client cancelled so... 83 00:03:16,119 --> 00:03:19,186 Were you gonna eat that sugary cereal? 84 00:03:19,188 --> 00:03:22,490 How did you figure it out, detective? 85 00:03:22,492 --> 00:03:25,192 You specifically asked me not to buy sugary things, 86 00:03:25,194 --> 00:03:26,727 so you could cut down on sugar. 87 00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:29,530 I only say that because you get turned on 88 00:03:29,532 --> 00:03:33,701 when I pretend I'm going to improve myself. 89 00:03:33,703 --> 00:03:36,003 Mike, I know what it's like to give up something you love. 90 00:03:36,005 --> 00:03:38,806 I gave up smoking, which was the hardest thing I've done 91 00:03:38,808 --> 00:03:43,878 and I pushed humans out of me. 92 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:47,381 I hate when you win arguments using your vagina. 93 00:03:47,383 --> 00:03:48,449 I'll get rid of it. 94 00:03:54,623 --> 00:03:56,690 I feel so alone. 95 00:03:58,994 --> 00:04:01,529 Do you think you're turning to cereal 96 00:04:01,531 --> 00:04:03,564 because when Ethan's around your dad shows 97 00:04:03,566 --> 00:04:04,899 an obvious preference to him, 98 00:04:04,901 --> 00:04:06,534 and deep down you know you need to confront him 99 00:04:06,536 --> 00:04:09,236 about the resentment you've been harboring for 20 years? 100 00:04:09,238 --> 00:04:10,838 No. 101 00:04:12,841 --> 00:04:14,675 So you don't think there's any sibling rivalry 102 00:04:14,677 --> 00:04:17,344 going on here at all? 103 00:04:17,346 --> 00:04:19,380 No. 104 00:04:19,382 --> 00:04:21,415 I wish my step-brother would fail at something 105 00:04:21,417 --> 00:04:23,417 so I could be the good son. 106 00:04:23,419 --> 00:04:25,386 Does that make me a terrible person? 107 00:04:25,388 --> 00:04:27,855 Yes, yes, it does. 108 00:04:27,857 --> 00:04:30,624 Sweetie, there's stuff that I do 109 00:04:30,626 --> 00:04:33,160 in my therapy practice that might help. 110 00:04:33,162 --> 00:04:35,963 For example... we could role play, 111 00:04:35,965 --> 00:04:38,733 so I can show you that it's not gonna be as hard as you think. 112 00:04:38,735 --> 00:04:39,934 And I'm going to do it 113 00:04:39,936 --> 00:04:43,037 just to show you what a bad idea it would be. 114 00:04:45,674 --> 00:04:49,643 I'll be Bob and you say what's in your heart. 115 00:04:49,645 --> 00:04:52,847 Okay, Dad... 116 00:04:52,849 --> 00:04:55,750 I loved having sex with you this morning. 117 00:05:00,555 --> 00:05:01,722 Take it seriously. 118 00:05:01,724 --> 00:05:05,960 I can't. You know why? It's dumb. 119 00:05:05,962 --> 00:05:08,796 There's no wrong way to do this. 120 00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:15,236 Dad... you've always preferred Ethan, 121 00:05:15,238 --> 00:05:18,239 and you're a mean son of a bitch with devil eyes. 122 00:05:19,474 --> 00:05:21,308 Why won't you take this seriously? 123 00:05:21,310 --> 00:05:22,543 Because, well, are we sure 124 00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:25,513 that therapy does anything? 125 00:05:28,450 --> 00:05:29,517 Say what now? 126 00:05:29,519 --> 00:05:31,118 Now you're upset. This is what happens 127 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,088 when you express your feelings. 128 00:05:34,090 --> 00:05:37,391 Wow, you know what? I need some air. 129 00:05:37,393 --> 00:05:38,426 Shows what you know. 130 00:05:38,428 --> 00:05:41,028 Everyone needs air! 131 00:05:43,598 --> 00:05:45,633 Good one, Mike. 132 00:05:47,369 --> 00:05:49,070 I can't believe they let us win. 133 00:05:49,072 --> 00:05:51,238 I guess they wanted us to feel good about ourselves. 134 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:55,009 I mean, who do they think they are, alcohol? 135 00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:56,177 If we're going to win fair and square, 136 00:05:56,179 --> 00:05:58,212 we need to work our butts off practicing. 137 00:05:58,214 --> 00:06:00,147 That sounds awful, but... 138 00:06:00,149 --> 00:06:02,450 Okay, I'll get the weed. 139 00:06:02,452 --> 00:06:03,818 We can't practice high. 140 00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:04,919 Why not? 141 00:06:04,921 --> 00:06:06,921 As long as we also play the game high, 142 00:06:06,923 --> 00:06:08,489 we're golden. 143 00:06:08,491 --> 00:06:12,193 You should really know that as a scientist. 144 00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:26,040 [coughing] 145 00:06:28,143 --> 00:06:30,244 Ethan? 146 00:06:30,246 --> 00:06:32,413 Welcome to the Four Seasons? 147 00:06:35,941 --> 00:06:38,810 Please don't tell anyone, especially my dad and... 148 00:06:38,812 --> 00:06:41,879 Mom! So good to see you! 149 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:44,659 Ethan Alexander Ellis, 150 00:06:44,684 --> 00:06:46,817 what the hell are you doing in this shed? 151 00:06:46,819 --> 00:06:48,919 What are you doing in this shed? 152 00:06:48,921 --> 00:06:51,355 A mother always knows where her son is... 153 00:06:51,357 --> 00:06:55,125 when she's got a tracking app on her phone. 154 00:06:55,127 --> 00:06:57,595 Look, Mom, I actually came home 155 00:06:57,597 --> 00:06:58,963 to tell you and Dad something, 156 00:06:58,965 --> 00:07:01,132 but Dad made such a fuss about how proud he is of me 157 00:07:01,134 --> 00:07:02,767 that I chickened out. 158 00:07:02,769 --> 00:07:05,202 You see, I have this thing... 159 00:07:05,204 --> 00:07:06,170 A thing? 160 00:07:06,172 --> 00:07:09,139 Oh, my God! My baby's dying. 161 00:07:09,141 --> 00:07:12,109 I'm not dying, Mom. 162 00:07:12,111 --> 00:07:13,944 My hands shake when I putt. 163 00:07:13,946 --> 00:07:16,180 It's called the yips. 164 00:07:16,182 --> 00:07:17,381 My golf career is over. 165 00:07:17,383 --> 00:07:19,650 - Aw, honey. - Aw. 166 00:07:19,652 --> 00:07:20,751 There go my dreams of being 167 00:07:20,753 --> 00:07:23,354 the completely black Tiger Woods. 168 00:07:24,556 --> 00:07:26,457 They're not even sure what causes it. 169 00:07:26,459 --> 00:07:28,058 It could just be psychological. 170 00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:31,362 Oh, my God! My boy's crazy! 171 00:07:31,364 --> 00:07:33,964 But none of this explains why you are in a shed. 172 00:07:33,966 --> 00:07:35,032 You've got money. 173 00:07:35,034 --> 00:07:36,834 I had money. 174 00:07:36,836 --> 00:07:40,204 I also had the idea I could play high-stakes poker. 175 00:07:40,206 --> 00:07:44,441 So you're crazy, broke, and you're not a golfer. 176 00:07:44,443 --> 00:07:46,744 Your father's a dead man. 177 00:07:46,746 --> 00:07:48,179 Okay, here's what we'll do. 178 00:07:48,181 --> 00:07:50,881 I'll talk to him. I know how to handle him. 179 00:07:50,883 --> 00:07:54,151 Or... 180 00:07:54,153 --> 00:07:58,355 are we missing an opportunity for some real growth? 181 00:07:58,357 --> 00:07:59,890 Martina is right. 182 00:07:59,892 --> 00:08:01,392 I should tell Dad. 183 00:08:01,394 --> 00:08:02,526 I'll do it at game night. 184 00:08:02,528 --> 00:08:03,928 There'll be a nice family vibe, 185 00:08:03,930 --> 00:08:04,929 he'll have a few drinks in him... 186 00:08:04,931 --> 00:08:06,630 All right, all right, but if you feel 187 00:08:06,632 --> 00:08:08,999 like you're going to cry, you just look over to me 188 00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:11,569 and I will step in and fix everything. 189 00:08:11,571 --> 00:08:12,803 You know, Alice, 190 00:08:12,805 --> 00:08:15,539 this might be an opportunity for growth for you too. 191 00:08:15,541 --> 00:08:19,376 Aw, all that therapy mumbo jumbo is for white people. 192 00:08:23,181 --> 00:08:24,782 So tonight's game is Celebrity. 193 00:08:24,784 --> 00:08:26,250 I wrote this one. 194 00:08:26,252 --> 00:08:27,718 She was the first white woman 195 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,321 on "The Real Housewives of Atlanta." 196 00:08:30,323 --> 00:08:31,956 No idea. 197 00:08:31,958 --> 00:08:33,457 Kim Zolciak? 198 00:08:33,459 --> 00:08:36,694 The Jackie Robinson of that show? 199 00:08:36,696 --> 00:08:38,429 She broke the color barrier. 200 00:08:38,431 --> 00:08:40,798 Everybody knows that. 201 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,268 Nobody knows yours. Neil deGrasse Tyson? 202 00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:46,470 He's a hugely popular astrophysicist. 203 00:08:46,472 --> 00:08:48,005 Whatever. 204 00:08:48,007 --> 00:08:50,374 I don't get your whole space thing. 205 00:08:50,376 --> 00:08:52,009 Thinking about how big the universe is 206 00:08:52,011 --> 00:08:56,280 makes me feel like I'm non-significant. 207 00:08:56,282 --> 00:08:57,815 Well, that's what I love. 208 00:08:57,817 --> 00:09:01,819 It makes everything seem small, even my problems. 209 00:09:01,821 --> 00:09:03,654 Yeah, that's how I feel 210 00:09:03,656 --> 00:09:07,892 when someone famous looks like crap in their sex tape. 211 00:09:07,894 --> 00:09:10,928 I mean, that's the day you don't get your roots done? 212 00:09:12,597 --> 00:09:14,532 We're looking at the top of your head! 213 00:09:16,868 --> 00:09:20,171 - Mike. - Honey... 214 00:09:20,173 --> 00:09:23,073 Sorry for crapping on therapy. 215 00:09:23,075 --> 00:09:25,109 It's probably real. 216 00:09:28,146 --> 00:09:30,815 I'm gonna be an adult and I'm gonna talk to Dad about Ethan. 217 00:09:30,817 --> 00:09:33,884 Oh, that's such a good idea! 218 00:09:33,886 --> 00:09:36,587 Oh, I'm so proud of you! 219 00:09:36,589 --> 00:09:38,589 But don't do it. 220 00:09:40,158 --> 00:09:41,625 But you said I should do it. 221 00:09:41,627 --> 00:09:42,993 I did say you should do it. 222 00:09:42,995 --> 00:09:44,128 So I should do it. 223 00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:45,696 No, you definitely shouldn't do it. 224 00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:51,135 You know how you needed air before? 225 00:09:51,137 --> 00:09:52,470 Now I need air. 226 00:09:52,472 --> 00:09:54,038 Are you happy? 227 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,707 You made me need air! 228 00:10:11,923 --> 00:10:13,624 You're not going to believe this. 229 00:10:13,626 --> 00:10:14,725 Ethan is living in the shed 230 00:10:14,727 --> 00:10:16,827 and he blew all of his money gambling. 231 00:10:16,829 --> 00:10:19,563 What? 232 00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,566 You knew? 233 00:10:22,568 --> 00:10:25,803 I bumped into him in there. 234 00:10:27,205 --> 00:10:28,472 - Does Dad know? - No. 235 00:10:28,474 --> 00:10:29,640 And you can't tell him. 236 00:10:29,642 --> 00:10:32,176 Ethan is going to tell everyone at game night. 237 00:10:32,178 --> 00:10:35,813 [laughs] 238 00:10:35,815 --> 00:10:38,082 It's gonna crush my father. 239 00:10:39,284 --> 00:10:41,285 It's too bad. 240 00:10:43,348 --> 00:10:44,414 [upbeat music] 241 00:10:45,958 --> 00:10:47,358 So that was your first kiss? 242 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:48,208 Yes. 243 00:10:48,372 --> 00:10:50,405 I never told anyone that story, 244 00:10:50,407 --> 00:10:54,376 even our coworkers at the Renaissance Faire. 245 00:10:54,378 --> 00:10:58,380 He may have only been a jester, but he was my knight that day. 246 00:10:59,582 --> 00:11:01,183 Girls, game's starting! 247 00:11:01,185 --> 00:11:03,385 Oh, no! We didn't practice! 248 00:11:03,387 --> 00:11:04,586 We did the exact thing everyone accuses 249 00:11:04,588 --> 00:11:06,021 our generation of. 250 00:11:06,023 --> 00:11:09,057 We agreed we deserve to win, but we didn't do the work. 251 00:11:09,059 --> 00:11:10,926 We just spent all that time getting to know each other. 252 00:11:10,928 --> 00:11:13,462 Now don't you wish we'd gotten high? 253 00:11:14,397 --> 00:11:16,899 Okay. I'm the time-keeper, 254 00:11:16,901 --> 00:11:20,535 but I'm also here to help anyone who needs help. 255 00:11:24,073 --> 00:11:26,875 The names are right there. Are we ready to play? 256 00:11:26,877 --> 00:11:29,077 Let's just go first and get it over with. 257 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,813 Ready? And... go! 258 00:11:31,815 --> 00:11:34,249 Ooh! You had your first sexy dream about him. 259 00:11:34,251 --> 00:11:35,250 Benedict Cumberbatch! 260 00:11:35,252 --> 00:11:37,586 Don't get it, but yes! 261 00:11:37,588 --> 00:11:39,154 Oh, that black guy that you like. 262 00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,189 What now? 263 00:11:41,191 --> 00:11:43,592 - Neil deGrasse Tyson! - Yes! 264 00:11:43,594 --> 00:11:45,561 Oh, I got into a fight about her at the DMV 265 00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:46,929 and that's why I don't have a driver's license. 266 00:11:46,931 --> 00:11:50,065 - Miley Cyrus! - Yes! 267 00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:52,601 You don't have a driver's license? 268 00:11:52,603 --> 00:11:53,569 - [bell dings] - Oh, my God! 269 00:11:53,571 --> 00:11:55,037 We're awesome! 270 00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:56,138 Okay. 271 00:11:56,140 --> 00:12:00,008 Mike and Martina, you're up. 272 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,009 - Ready? - Mm-hmm. 273 00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:03,278 And... go! 274 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:05,080 Easy! You said I look like her. 275 00:12:05,082 --> 00:12:06,315 Uh... Lucille Ball. 276 00:12:06,317 --> 00:12:08,016 What? 277 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:09,184 She looks crazy. 278 00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:10,652 I couldn't think of another redhead. 279 00:12:10,654 --> 00:12:11,653 Uh... Nicole Kidman. 280 00:12:11,655 --> 00:12:13,689 No, the girl from "Zero Dark Thirty"! 281 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:14,723 Isn't that Nicole Kidman? 282 00:12:14,725 --> 00:12:16,658 [bell dings] 283 00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:17,993 It was Jessica Chastain! 284 00:12:17,995 --> 00:12:19,027 How could I say you look like her? 285 00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:21,263 I don't know who that is. 286 00:12:21,265 --> 00:12:25,634 Oh, now I remember. I said I look like her, 287 00:12:25,636 --> 00:12:28,170 and you said, "I don't know who that is." 288 00:12:28,172 --> 00:12:30,439 So the current score is 3 to 0. 289 00:12:30,441 --> 00:12:32,140 Seems like you're unable to win because you don't have 290 00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:35,978 the requisite skills to excel at the game. 291 00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:39,281 We need to work on your trash talk. 292 00:12:40,550 --> 00:12:43,418 Choking under pressure, huh? 293 00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:46,755 This is exactly why Mike never made it as a golfer. 294 00:12:46,757 --> 00:12:48,624 But at least I got one. 295 00:12:48,626 --> 00:12:50,926 That big dummy's got a surprise coming. 296 00:12:52,595 --> 00:12:54,796 Okay, Bob and Ethan, you're up. 297 00:12:54,798 --> 00:12:56,198 And, Ethan, remember, 298 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,835 if you need any help, I'm right here. 299 00:12:59,837 --> 00:13:03,038 He knows where you are, Alice. 300 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:04,973 And... go! 301 00:13:04,975 --> 00:13:07,409 I like one of his movies, but hate the other one. 302 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:08,443 Kevin Costner. 303 00:13:08,445 --> 00:13:10,612 Yes! 304 00:13:10,614 --> 00:13:12,915 You know me so well, son. 305 00:13:14,550 --> 00:13:17,052 That guy with the thing and they go into the thing. 306 00:13:17,054 --> 00:13:18,153 "Ocean's Eleven"! 307 00:13:18,155 --> 00:13:20,222 Yes! 308 00:13:20,224 --> 00:13:23,192 But the actor, the one with the face I want to punch. 309 00:13:23,194 --> 00:13:24,927 There's so many! 310 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,161 Narrow it down! Narrow it down! 311 00:13:26,163 --> 00:13:28,030 Clooney! Damon! Pitt! 312 00:13:28,032 --> 00:13:29,464 - [bell dings] - Oh, to be fair, 313 00:13:29,466 --> 00:13:32,167 I would have punched all those guys. 314 00:13:32,169 --> 00:13:33,969 But it was Casey Affleck. 315 00:13:36,873 --> 00:13:38,941 Mike, remember when Ethan introduced me to Costner 316 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:40,776 at that celeb tourney? 317 00:13:40,778 --> 00:13:43,779 Terrific grip on his handshake for a gay movie star. 318 00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:47,783 Kevin Costner is not gay. 319 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:50,385 Oh, please, he's an actor. They're all gay. 320 00:13:52,255 --> 00:13:54,756 And before you girls jump down my throat, 321 00:13:54,758 --> 00:13:56,959 I'm fine with it. I shook his hand, didn't I? 322 00:13:58,962 --> 00:14:00,229 Hey, Ethan, you got any more 323 00:14:00,231 --> 00:14:02,264 of those celebrity tourneys coming up? 324 00:14:07,804 --> 00:14:10,973 I'm right here, baby. 325 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,475 Why does Grandma keep saying where she is? 326 00:14:14,644 --> 00:14:18,280 Well, I do have something to tell you, Dad. 327 00:14:18,282 --> 00:14:20,616 He does. 328 00:14:20,618 --> 00:14:22,718 And it's that... 329 00:14:24,954 --> 00:14:27,789 At the Tokyo Pro-Am, I'm going to play with Bill Murray. 330 00:14:29,626 --> 00:14:30,826 He's my favorite! 331 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,228 I know and I'd love to introduce you to him! 332 00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,697 Is this guy a hell of a son or what? 333 00:14:36,966 --> 00:14:38,467 Hey, Ethan, why don't you call Bill Murray 334 00:14:38,469 --> 00:14:41,403 from your suite at the Four Seasons? 335 00:14:45,575 --> 00:14:48,210 It probably makes this place look like a shed. 336 00:14:52,115 --> 00:14:53,282 Martina... 337 00:14:53,284 --> 00:14:54,883 Guys... kitchen. 338 00:14:54,885 --> 00:14:55,984 Okay. 339 00:14:55,986 --> 00:14:57,886 You have to tell your dad the truth now. 340 00:14:57,888 --> 00:14:59,488 And you two have to shut up and let him. 341 00:14:59,490 --> 00:15:02,257 I know you all think that therapy's not effective... 342 00:15:02,259 --> 00:15:04,560 - That's not what I said. - It's what I said. 343 00:15:06,930 --> 00:15:08,864 Look, Ethan. 344 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,366 In therapy we say it's best to avoid words 345 00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:13,135 like "always" and "never." 346 00:15:13,137 --> 00:15:15,270 Express what you're feeling with "I" statements 347 00:15:15,272 --> 00:15:17,372 and come from a place of love. 348 00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:19,508 Got it? 349 00:15:19,510 --> 00:15:21,043 Got it. 350 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,644 The living room's this way. 351 00:15:26,516 --> 00:15:27,950 - Bob? - Hmm? 352 00:15:27,952 --> 00:15:31,386 Ethan has something to say to you. 353 00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:34,056 Well, for starters, 354 00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,657 you're not gonna get to meet Bill Murray. 355 00:15:35,659 --> 00:15:37,392 What? 356 00:15:40,663 --> 00:15:44,333 You don't get to meet Bill Murray. 357 00:15:47,403 --> 00:15:49,504 I'm sorry. 358 00:15:50,506 --> 00:15:51,807 Go on, Ethan. 359 00:15:54,544 --> 00:15:58,680 The truth is... 360 00:15:58,682 --> 00:16:00,349 Bill pulled out of the Tokyo Pro-Am, 361 00:16:00,351 --> 00:16:02,084 but maybe you can meet him at the Phoenix. 362 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:03,518 I'll give him a call. 363 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,654 Well, this is ridiculous. He's never gonna tell him! 364 00:16:05,656 --> 00:16:06,622 Tell me what? 365 00:16:06,624 --> 00:16:08,123 - I'll do it, baby. - No! 366 00:16:08,125 --> 00:16:09,925 Ethan is going to do it himself in a healthy, 367 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:14,096 - therapeutic manner. - Oh, good lord! 368 00:16:15,798 --> 00:16:18,133 I'm with her. 369 00:16:18,135 --> 00:16:20,602 Enough with this therapy baloney! 370 00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,471 That's it! I can't take it anymore! 371 00:16:22,473 --> 00:16:24,273 Therapy is not baloney! 372 00:16:24,275 --> 00:16:27,409 It's real and I do it for a living. 373 00:16:27,411 --> 00:16:29,978 And thank God I do, 'cause otherwise, 374 00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:31,780 we'd be in a world where people just blurt out 375 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:35,117 that Ethan's golf career is over and he's living in our shed! 376 00:16:45,528 --> 00:16:49,531 Now that was healthy and therapeutic. 377 00:16:54,604 --> 00:16:56,805 I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Dad. 378 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,274 The last thing I'd ever want to do is disappoint you. 379 00:17:00,169 --> 00:17:01,202 I was embarrassed. 380 00:17:01,204 --> 00:17:04,038 I'm embarrassed too for my outburst. 381 00:17:07,742 --> 00:17:11,846 But this isn't about me, so I'll just be right here. 382 00:17:11,848 --> 00:17:14,114 Unfortunately... this means I'll need 383 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,183 to stay with you until I get back on my feet. 384 00:17:16,185 --> 00:17:18,085 I guess we got something in common, Dad. 385 00:17:18,087 --> 00:17:21,088 We both got kids who are disappointments living at home. 386 00:17:21,090 --> 00:17:23,824 - both: Hey! - Hey! 387 00:17:23,826 --> 00:17:25,159 Disappointment? 388 00:17:25,161 --> 00:17:27,928 This man is not a disappointment! 389 00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:30,231 It took a lot of guts for him to tell me the truth, 390 00:17:30,233 --> 00:17:32,066 the guts of a champion. 391 00:17:32,068 --> 00:17:33,934 A champion who needs a hug, I'm guessing. 392 00:17:37,105 --> 00:17:39,673 Seriously? 393 00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:47,314 What are you doing here? 394 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:51,018 Ethan told me you come out here to eat children's cereal. 395 00:17:52,420 --> 00:17:55,756 Yes, alone. 396 00:17:55,758 --> 00:17:57,691 What the hell's the matter with you? 397 00:17:57,693 --> 00:17:59,960 Whenever Ethan's around, you always get bent out of shape. 398 00:17:59,962 --> 00:18:01,428 What's your problem with him? 399 00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:04,331 It's not Ethan; it's you! You're the problem! 400 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:08,702 You never once give me... 401 00:18:08,704 --> 00:18:11,672 You always treat him... 402 00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:14,041 What? Why do you stop? 403 00:18:14,043 --> 00:18:17,278 It's best to avoid words like "always" and "never." 404 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,546 Why? 405 00:18:18,548 --> 00:18:21,382 I don't know. It's something I heard. 406 00:18:21,384 --> 00:18:25,419 Look, Dad, I feel like you prefer Ethan to me. 407 00:18:26,621 --> 00:18:29,089 And it hurts... 408 00:18:29,091 --> 00:18:32,960 the feelings... 409 00:18:32,962 --> 00:18:34,195 of me. 410 00:18:36,598 --> 00:18:37,731 Ah, screw it. 411 00:18:37,733 --> 00:18:39,099 Just get out of here 412 00:18:39,101 --> 00:18:42,102 and let me eat my cereal. 413 00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:43,137 Suit yourself. 414 00:18:46,875 --> 00:18:49,443 Look. 415 00:18:49,445 --> 00:18:53,113 When you were born, I was in a bad marriage. 416 00:18:53,115 --> 00:18:55,516 And maybe I associate you with that. 417 00:18:55,518 --> 00:18:58,185 But then I met Alice, and I was in a happy marriage 418 00:18:58,187 --> 00:19:02,890 with this little boy who really needed me. 419 00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:05,526 It probably won't make you feel any better, 420 00:19:05,528 --> 00:19:06,827 but the mistakes I made with you 421 00:19:06,829 --> 00:19:09,129 made me a better father to Ethan. 422 00:19:09,131 --> 00:19:12,233 You are a good father. 423 00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:13,934 To him. 424 00:19:15,771 --> 00:19:19,807 Plus Ethan, he looks up to me. 425 00:19:19,809 --> 00:19:22,176 He worships the ground I walk on. 426 00:19:22,178 --> 00:19:23,644 Do you feel that way about me? 427 00:19:23,646 --> 00:19:29,183 I'd have to be delusional to feel that way about you. 428 00:19:29,185 --> 00:19:31,619 You are a pain in the ass, Mike. 429 00:19:31,621 --> 00:19:33,821 You are a son of a bitch, dad. 430 00:19:33,823 --> 00:19:38,325 Look at us getting all mushy. 431 00:19:38,327 --> 00:19:39,326 What you got there? 432 00:19:39,328 --> 00:19:40,528 Eh, Captain Crunch. 433 00:19:40,530 --> 00:19:43,664 With Crunchberries? It's good stuff. 434 00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:44,832 You know, when you were a kid 435 00:19:44,834 --> 00:19:46,233 I used to take all the marshmallows 436 00:19:46,235 --> 00:19:47,802 out of the Lucky Charms. 437 00:19:47,804 --> 00:19:50,604 Lucky Charms has marshmallows? 438 00:19:53,608 --> 00:19:55,176 Good night, Mike. 439 00:19:55,178 --> 00:19:57,978 You can come out now, Martina. 440 00:20:01,483 --> 00:20:02,917 I may have been a bad dad, 441 00:20:02,919 --> 00:20:05,553 but I'm still a hell of a detective. 442 00:20:08,890 --> 00:20:12,827 Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do. 443 00:20:12,829 --> 00:20:17,565 So do you, secret sugar cereal eater. 444 00:20:17,567 --> 00:20:18,866 Yours is way worse than mine. 445 00:20:18,868 --> 00:20:21,035 Cigarettes were never part of a balanced breakfast. 446 00:20:21,037 --> 00:20:23,804 They were in the trailer park I grew up in. 447 00:20:26,208 --> 00:20:29,746 That was a great talk that you two had. 448 00:20:30,575 --> 00:20:33,708 And whoever gave you that "always" and "never" advice, 449 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,521 sounds like a beautiful genius. 450 00:20:37,473 --> 00:20:39,692 I apologize for ever doubting it. 451 00:20:42,958 --> 00:20:44,614 Taste like cigarettes. 452 00:20:45,739 --> 00:20:47,692 You taste like Crunchberries. 453 00:20:49,867 --> 00:20:51,180 Lucky you. 454 00:20:51,398 --> 00:20:54,789 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 455 00:20:54,839 --> 00:20:59,389 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32126

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