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1
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Oh, I love kissing.
2
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And you know what else?
3
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I think I'm a really great kisser.
4
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So, um... you want to take this inside?
5
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Why? I think we're doing great out here.
6
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Plus, I like making out standing up 'cause I don't get a roll over my pants.
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Christine, I can't do this again.
8
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What?
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We've been dating for two months and I've only made it as far as your porch.
10
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Now, is there a problem or
11
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are you just a porch tease?
12
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I told you what the problem is. My kid is in there.
13
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I've never introduced him to anyone I've dated.
14
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I mean, that is a really big step for me.
15
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I get that. I understand that.
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Look, I'm a dad. I know what a big deal it is.
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I let you inside my house.
18
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But, Burton, your kid wasn't there.
19
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I can't just parade random guys through my eight-year-old's life.
20
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I mean, not that there's been enough guys to constitute a parade.
21
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More like a circus, but with more clowns.
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So, uh, when do you think you might be ready?
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Soon.
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Yep. Before you know it. Yeah, yeah.
25
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Like, right around the corner.
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Yeah, okay. All right, I got it.
27
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- Well, good night.
- Well, good night.
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I'm getting inside!
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No! No! Stop!
30
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Oh, come on, it hasn't been that bad, has it?
31
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I mean, didn't doing it in your car last week make you feel like a teenager?
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Yeah, until I got home and had to ice...
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everything.
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No kidding. I got a bruise from knee to nipple.
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This is about taking our relationship to the next level.
36
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But I can't. I'm sorry.
37
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I'm sorry, Burton. Not yet.
38
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Okay.
39
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- Well, good night.
- Good night.
40
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Thank you.
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You're a wonderful man.
42
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You deserve a fantastic kisser like me.
43
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Go away. That's all you're getting tonight.
44
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We're closed.
45
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But we open tomorrow at 9:00.
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Get here early before all the good stuff is picked over.
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Hi.
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Who's she?
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That's my sister. She used to be married to him.
50
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Now he goes out with her. And she's an awkward dater.
51
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Want to throw some egg rolls out on the lawn for Burton?
52
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Who's Burton?
53
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That's the guy she's been seeing.
54
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She doesn't want to introduce him to Ritchie.
55
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Who's Ritchie?
56
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Oh, I'm sorry, he's my son.
57
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Who are you?
58
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This is my girlfriend, Michelle.
59
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Oh, girlfriend? Wow. When did that happen?
60
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About noon.
61
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So you're still not letting Burton in the house?
62
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I can't. It's not good for Ritchie.
63
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Is that it?
64
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Or are you just using Ritchie as a human shield
65
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to keep your relationship from moving forward?
66
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Uh, Matthew, I am not really comfortable
67
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discussing my personal life in mixed company.
68
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Christine... you can't leave Burton out there forever.
69
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You don't want to be a porch tease.
70
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Wait a minute, is that really a thing?
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No, we were listening.
72
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Oh, God!
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Oh, my God.
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I thought you liked him.
75
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And if you keep him out on the porch much longer, you're going to lose him.
76
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No, I'm not. Burton's totally fine with it.
77
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He wants me to take my time.
78
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No, he doesn't. Guys need to know they're moving towards a goal.
79
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They need to know when they're winning.
80
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Yeah. It's why we like sports. And war.
81
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Well, he's not going to break up with me
82
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just because I'm not ready to move forward. Is he?
83
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Men don't like stop signs.
84
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They like green lights. And war.
85
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You know, Richard was nervous about introducing me to Ritchie,
86
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but at some point you just have to take the leap and know that he's going to be okay.
87
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He's a great kid.
88
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You're a great mom.
89
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Oh, thank you.
90
00:04:26,455 --> 00:04:28,531
Yeah, like, now Ritchie and I get along great.
91
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We laugh at each other's jokes, we have these really cute nicknames for each other...
92
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Yeah, I said thank you.
93
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M om?
94
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Oh, hi, sweetie.
95
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You're up.
96
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How was your night?
97
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It was good.
98
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I saw a dead mouse.
99
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Sorry I missed that.
100
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You didn't.
101
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I kept it.
102
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Oh. Even better.
103
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Listen, sweetie, I want to talk to you about something, okay?
104
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You know how you have a best friend at school? Austin?
105
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Well, Mommy has a best friend, too.
106
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And his name is Burton...
107
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Does he pick his nose?
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I hope not.
109
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Does he teach you dirty words?
110
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A couple.
111
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But he's a very nice man.
112
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And I would like for you to meet him.
113
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But only if you would like to meet him. Would you like to meet him?
114
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No.
115
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Well, he would like to meet you.
116
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And I would like for you to meet him. So what do you think?
117
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- No, thanks.
- Well, you're going to meet him.
118
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And if you don't like him, you don't have to see him again.
119
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- Okay.
- Okay.
120
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All right. Well, go to sleep now, sweetie. It's late. Okay?
121
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We can talk about this more in the morning if you want to.
122
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I don't want to.
123
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We'll talk about it more in the morning, okay?
124
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I love you, darling. Night.
125
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Night.
126
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Oh, God.
127
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What are you doing?
128
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Cleaning.
129
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Why?
130
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Is Mom coming?
131
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Tell her I'm not here. I'm studying for the bar.
132
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Oh, no, what did we tell her last time? Law school? Med school? What?!
133
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Matthew, pull yourself together. Mom is not coming.
134
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I'm tidying up so Burton doesn't think I'm a slob.
135
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Oh, God.
136
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Why am I bothering to do this?
137
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I'm not going to pretend to be somebody I'm not.
138
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He can either take me the way I am, or not at all.
139
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Wow, you will really go to any length to justify not cleaning.
140
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I know, right?
141
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Oh, God.
142
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Okay, uh... yeah. Just a second.
143
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Ritchie...!
144
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Ooh, look at you. You look adorable.
145
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Honey, don't scratch. Burton's going to think you have fleas. Come on!
146
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Coming! Honey, you're not nervous are you, about meeting Mommy's new friend?
147
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What friend?
148
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I thought Grandma was coming.
149
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Wait! Is she or is she not coming?!
150
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Would everybody please relax? This is supposed to be fun.
151
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Aren't you having fun? I'm having fun.
152
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Hi. Wow, you look great.
153
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- Are you ready?
- I'm ready.
154
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How was your day?
155
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Uh, not so good. My mom actually got into a little bit of a car accident.
156
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Okay, let's go.
157
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Ritchie, I'd like you to meet my friend, Burton.
158
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Are you my new dad?
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Wow, that must've been a tough delivery.
160
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No, that's my idiot brother, Matthew.
161
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Idiot!
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Where is Ritchie?
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Bathroom.
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Okay, out, out, out, out.
165
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I don't know why I was in such a hurry to get in the house, it wasn't that great.
166
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Yeah, I probably should've cleaned it, but Matthew talked me out it.
167
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Hey, what were you saying about your mother?
168
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Oh, yeah, she got in an accident. She's fine, but the other driver...
169
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Oh, okay, he's back. Come on.
170
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Ritchie, this is my friend Burton.
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Hi, Ritchie.
172
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Hi.
173
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My pants itch. Can I go change?
174
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Yes. Of course.
175
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Oh, my God. That went great!
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That was so much better than I expected.
177
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What exactly did you expect?
178
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Oh, you know, tears, tantrums.
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Maybe somebody yelling,
180
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"You can't tell me what to do, you're not my father."
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Plus I had no idea how Ritchie was going to react.
182
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So can I go now? My pants itch, too.
183
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Yes, you're excused. You were a big help. I'll tell Mom.
184
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I'd really appreciate that.
185
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Nice to finally meet you, Matthew.
186
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Oh, no, the pleasure is all mine.
187
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Really, I can't thank you enough for taking the old gal off my hands.
188
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So... You're in.
189
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How does it feel?
190
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The way you were guarding it, I kind of ought it'd be a lot fancier.
191
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Maybe some gold columns and white tigers.
192
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But it's nice.
193
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This is big. I really feel like we've crossed over into new territory.
194
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I was so nervous about it, but now that it's done,
195
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I really feel like it was the right move.
196
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Me, too.
197
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So, speaking of big steps, when do I get to meet your kid?
198
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Oh, yeah, yeah, one of these days.
199
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You know, when the time is right.
200
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U nbelievable!
201
00:10:00,922 --> 00:10:01,783
What?
202
00:10:01,784 --> 00:10:05,262
I showed him mine. Now he won't show me his.
203
00:10:06,368 --> 00:10:09,192
I hope to God you're talking about your boobs.
204
00:10:09,547 --> 00:10:11,292
No, my kid.
205
00:10:11,293 --> 00:10:15,054
I introduce Burton to Ritchie, and then when I mention meeting his kid,
206
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he says, "When the time is right."
207
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What the hell is that supposed to mean?
208
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I guess he's not ready.
209
00:10:20,856 --> 00:10:23,589
But this was supposed to be a milestone in our relationship.
210
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I mean, I was under the impression that the feeling was mutual.
211
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He was practically begging me to get inside my house.
212
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I hope to God you're talking about your...
213
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Oh, shut up.
214
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This is so embarrassing.
215
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I mean, it's like I said, "I love you" and he said, "Thank you."
216
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Well, it's better than "I bet you do."
217
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I mean, he was acting as if he was ready to move to the next step,
218
00:10:46,149 --> 00:10:49,378
and now, he thinks I'm moving too fast? I mean...
219
00:10:49,379 --> 00:10:52,705
What is wrong with men? They make everything too complicated.
220
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Well, talk to him.
221
00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:57,119
No. 'Cause then he'll think that I need him to tell me how much he likes me
222
00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,870
and I want him to tell me how much he likes me
223
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without him knowing that I need him to tell me that.
224
00:11:03,416 --> 00:11:05,701
Yeah, men are complicated.
225
00:11:06,785 --> 00:11:10,111
Yeah. You know what? I'm just going to talk to him.
226
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I'm gonna see what he's thinking. I'm so confused.
227
00:11:12,827 --> 00:11:15,552
Probably would have been easier if you just showed him your boobs.
228
00:11:16,585 --> 00:11:19,495
Yeah, no kidding. I always forget I have these things.
229
00:11:28,512 --> 00:11:29,798
Hey, stranger.
230
00:11:29,858 --> 00:11:31,984
Yeah. Uh... Hey.
231
00:11:32,046 --> 00:11:36,942
Um... I'm a little bit confused about what just happened.
232
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I really thought that we are on the same page about our relationship,
233
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and where it was going, but, uh, clearly I was wrong.
234
00:11:44,827 --> 00:11:47,252
What do you mean? Do you want to come inside?
235
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Oh, no, no, no.
236
00:11:48,884 --> 00:11:51,068
I don't want to move things forward too quickly.
237
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I should probably stay out here on the porch and come in when the time is right.
238
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You know, "one of these days."
239
00:11:58,293 --> 00:12:00,463
Christine, I don't know what you're talking about.
240
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Why are you hiding your kid from me?!
241
00:12:03,112 --> 00:12:03,796
What?
242
00:12:03,797 --> 00:12:07,441
Yeah, I showed you my kid. Now you won't show me yours?
243
00:12:07,442 --> 00:12:10,574
I mean, are you not serious about this relationship, Burton?
244
00:12:10,575 --> 00:12:15,472
Because if you're not, we can end it right now.
245
00:12:16,452 --> 00:12:19,443
Stevie is in Montana with his mother.
246
00:12:20,062 --> 00:12:22,418
He won't be back for another six weeks.
247
00:12:22,419 --> 00:12:24,154
I thought you could meet then.
248
00:12:30,247 --> 00:12:33,719
So when you said, "When the time is right" you meant...
249
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When he's in the same state.
250
00:12:35,343 --> 00:12:40,012
Oh. Yes. Yes. Well... that's what I thought.
251
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I just wanted to storm over here and make sure.
252
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Christine... come on!
253
00:12:46,555 --> 00:12:48,931
Come on. I don't want to hide Stevie from you.
254
00:12:48,932 --> 00:12:50,741
I don't want to hide anything from you.
255
00:12:50,742 --> 00:12:52,323
Of course I want you to meet him.
256
00:12:52,698 --> 00:12:53,847
Really?
257
00:12:53,848 --> 00:12:55,380
Of course, baby.
258
00:12:57,141 --> 00:12:58,426
I love you.
259
00:13:02,540 --> 00:13:05,327
I bet you do.
260
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,754
Oh. Good, you're all here.
261
00:13:18,583 --> 00:13:21,001
Sorry, we stopped by to say hi, but...
262
00:13:21,002 --> 00:13:23,412
then we ordered a movie on Pay-Per-View.
263
00:13:26,428 --> 00:13:29,661
My God, that woman is naked.
264
00:13:30,529 --> 00:13:32,295
Yeah, there's a lot of nudity in this.
265
00:13:32,296 --> 00:13:33,408
That's why we ordered it here.
266
00:13:33,409 --> 00:13:36,258
We didn't want Richard's cable company to think we're pervs.
267
00:13:41,662 --> 00:13:43,290
You want to watch with us?
268
00:13:43,291 --> 00:13:44,935
Oh, no, thanks, Michelle.
269
00:13:44,936 --> 00:13:46,522
Not Michelle.
270
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:52,135
You know, for a guy who does nothing all day, you do all right.
271
00:13:54,495 --> 00:13:56,500
So I heard you introduced Ritchie to Burton today.
272
00:13:56,501 --> 00:13:57,309
How'd that go?
273
00:13:57,310 --> 00:13:59,733
Good. He said he loved me.
274
00:14:00,336 --> 00:14:02,336
I said, "I bet you do."
275
00:14:06,366 --> 00:14:10,067
I know. I'm a horrible person.
276
00:14:21,249 --> 00:14:24,259
So... "I bet you do."
277
00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:25,526
Brutal.
278
00:14:27,506 --> 00:14:30,397
I know. I wasn't expecting it.
279
00:14:30,443 --> 00:14:32,494
- I thought you liked him.
- I do.
280
00:14:32,495 --> 00:14:33,401
But, you don't love him?
281
00:14:33,402 --> 00:14:35,466
I don't know. How am I supposed to know?
282
00:14:35,467 --> 00:14:38,859
Do I love him? Should I love him? Do you love him?
283
00:14:40,141 --> 00:14:42,418
Christine, it shouldn't be this hard.
284
00:14:42,419 --> 00:14:45,457
I told you I loved you on our first date and you said it back to me.
285
00:14:45,458 --> 00:14:48,314
We were 22. I'd just seen Ghost.
286
00:14:48,315 --> 00:14:50,558
I would have told the movie usher I loved him.
287
00:14:52,257 --> 00:14:55,907
Good to know our marriage was built on such a rock-solid foundation.
288
00:14:56,058 --> 00:14:59,128
Oh, come on. It worked out okay except for the divorce.
289
00:15:02,624 --> 00:15:06,779
Maybe you're just afraid and you're keeping yourself from loving him.
290
00:15:07,331 --> 00:15:11,135
Am I doing that? Should I be doing that? Do you ever do that?
291
00:15:11,690 --> 00:15:13,279
Have you eaten today?
292
00:15:14,056 --> 00:15:17,762
I don't know. I mean, of course I'm afraid.
293
00:15:17,763 --> 00:15:18,977
I'm so scared, you know.
294
00:15:18,978 --> 00:15:21,457
What if I fall in love with Burton
295
00:15:21,458 --> 00:15:25,009
and then ten years down the road the whole thing falls apart?
296
00:15:25,048 --> 00:15:27,382
If you don't try, you'll never know.
297
00:15:27,971 --> 00:15:29,174
Do you like the guy?
298
00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:30,636
Very much.
299
00:15:30,771 --> 00:15:31,919
Is he nice to you?
300
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:33,154
So nice.
301
00:15:33,155 --> 00:15:36,400
But not so nice it makes me not like him anymore.
302
00:15:36,885 --> 00:15:39,008
What did your parents do to you?
303
00:15:43,708 --> 00:15:46,298
You know. You spent Christmas with them.
304
00:15:46,315 --> 00:15:47,344
Yeah, yeah.
305
00:15:47,345 --> 00:15:50,562
God, you know... Burton and I have a great time together.
306
00:15:50,563 --> 00:15:52,315
You know, he's nice, he's funny,
307
00:15:52,316 --> 00:15:56,090
he's smart, he's handsome and what's not to love?
308
00:15:56,091 --> 00:15:57,627
I don't know.
309
00:15:58,732 --> 00:16:02,106
Yeah. Yeah, maybe you're right.
310
00:16:02,107 --> 00:16:03,751
I'm just scared.
311
00:16:04,678 --> 00:16:06,309
I do love him.
312
00:16:06,603 --> 00:16:08,036
Then tell him.
313
00:16:10,205 --> 00:16:11,727
I will.
314
00:16:17,262 --> 00:16:18,304
Where you going?
315
00:16:18,305 --> 00:16:20,185
To tell Burton I love him.
316
00:16:29,339 --> 00:16:31,736
We have got to get you a telephone.
317
00:16:32,428 --> 00:16:35,950
I know. But, I have to tell you something
318
00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:39,412
and it's the kind of something that should only be said in person,
319
00:16:39,413 --> 00:16:43,555
or on a giant screen at a baseball game.
320
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:44,842
I can hardly wait.
321
00:16:44,843 --> 00:16:49,711
Oh... Burton, I'm so sorry I freaked out before.
322
00:16:49,712 --> 00:16:54,413
I, I... When you said "I love you," I didn't mean to say, "I bet you do."
323
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,535
I don't know why that came out of my mouth.
324
00:16:56,536 --> 00:16:59,901
What I really meant to say was, I...
325
00:17:01,523 --> 00:17:04,798
don't think I can see you anymore.
326
00:17:07,001 --> 00:17:12,482
Wow. I'm so glad you didn't put that on a giant screen at a baseball game.
327
00:17:13,482 --> 00:17:16,435
I, uh, I thought you were going to say, "I love you."
328
00:17:16,486 --> 00:17:19,790
Oh, my God. So did I.
329
00:17:19,791 --> 00:17:22,270
Tha-Tha-That's what I came over here to say.
330
00:17:22,271 --> 00:17:24,281
I meant to say that...
331
00:17:24,637 --> 00:17:26,220
but I can't.
332
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:28,823
I guess I don't love you.
333
00:17:28,824 --> 00:17:29,874
Yeah, I'm getting that.
334
00:17:32,576 --> 00:17:36,665
You know, it was implied with the "I bet you do," and then you, uh,
335
00:17:36,666 --> 00:17:39,746
you really drove it home with the, "I don't want to see you anymore."
336
00:17:41,623 --> 00:17:45,486
I guess that was why I was keeping you out on the porch.
337
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:50,134
I said it was for Ritchie, but it wasn't. It was for me.
338
00:17:51,510 --> 00:17:52,789
So...
339
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,762
What are we doing?
340
00:17:57,892 --> 00:17:59,232
I don't know.
341
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:02,671
Why don't we go back to the way it was before?
342
00:18:02,672 --> 00:18:04,377
On the porch. I love the porch.
343
00:18:04,378 --> 00:18:06,472
We can't go back to the porch. We moved past the porch.
344
00:18:06,473 --> 00:18:07,775
But it was so good on the porch.
345
00:18:07,776 --> 00:18:11,536
I can't go back to the porch, and I can't say "porch" anymore.
346
00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:15,785
Christine, I'm done with dating.
347
00:18:16,508 --> 00:18:18,097
I want to settle down.
348
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,906
Be with one person.
349
00:18:20,070 --> 00:18:22,274
And I was hoping it was you.
350
00:18:25,231 --> 00:18:29,356
Burton, I really would do anything not to hurt your feelings, I just...
351
00:18:29,357 --> 00:18:31,403
I-I get it. I get it.
352
00:18:32,552 --> 00:18:37,281
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sad, but, I understand.
353
00:18:39,329 --> 00:18:42,543
You're the most incredible woman I've ever been with
354
00:18:42,957 --> 00:18:44,308
and, um...
355
00:18:45,526 --> 00:18:47,192
when you are ready,
356
00:18:48,015 --> 00:18:50,788
that person's going to be the luckiest man alive.
357
00:18:51,819 --> 00:18:53,104
Bye, Christine.
358
00:19:02,845 --> 00:19:04,466
Do I love him?
359
00:19:13,082 --> 00:19:16,473
Sweetie, you know how we were talking about friendship the other night?
360
00:19:16,474 --> 00:19:17,205
Yeah.
361
00:19:17,206 --> 00:19:20,263
Okay. Well, the thing about friendship is,
362
00:19:20,264 --> 00:19:23,539
sometimes you're friends with people forever,
363
00:19:23,540 --> 00:19:27,462
and sometimes they come into your life and they make you feel good about yourself
364
00:19:27,463 --> 00:19:31,215
and they teach you a few new words,
365
00:19:31,541 --> 00:19:33,286
and then you move on.
366
00:19:33,287 --> 00:19:35,412
But I like Austin. I don't want to move on.
367
00:19:35,413 --> 00:19:37,495
Oh, no, no, no, you can be friends with Austin.
368
00:19:37,496 --> 00:19:41,224
I mean, he picks his nose, but you play with dead mice,
369
00:19:41,225 --> 00:19:43,852
so his mom's probably not thrilled either.
370
00:19:44,463 --> 00:19:47,417
Anyway, Ritchie, what I'm trying to say is that
371
00:19:47,418 --> 00:19:50,432
sometimes people come into your life to stay
372
00:19:50,433 --> 00:19:52,868
and sometimes they're just passing through.
373
00:19:52,869 --> 00:19:54,633
Mom... Can I go to sleep?
374
00:19:54,634 --> 00:19:57,130
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm almost there. Hang on, sweetie.
375
00:19:57,131 --> 00:20:00,288
Um... Darling, listen.
376
00:20:03,047 --> 00:20:06,687
Burton's not going to be coming around anymore.
377
00:20:07,316 --> 00:20:11,986
He's a great guy, and he really liked meeting you,
378
00:20:11,987 --> 00:20:15,675
but he's one of Mommy's friends that's moving on,
379
00:20:15,676 --> 00:20:17,771
and everybody's okay.
380
00:20:18,326 --> 00:20:19,494
Are you okay?
381
00:20:19,495 --> 00:20:20,832
I'm okay.
382
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,363
Good.
383
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,098
Is there anything you want to ask me?
384
00:20:25,099 --> 00:20:26,183
Mm-hmm.
385
00:20:26,184 --> 00:20:27,690
Who's Burton?
386
00:20:31,926 --> 00:20:33,378
Good night, sweetheart.
387
00:20:34,215 --> 00:20:37,201
Transcript: Raceman - Synchro: Amariss
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