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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,559 --> 00:00:04,460 [ Snoring ] 2 00:00:04,494 --> 00:00:06,495 3 00:00:09,533 --> 00:00:11,767 [ Tires squeal ] 4 00:00:11,802 --> 00:00:14,437 You don't have to do this. I'll tell you anything you want. 5 00:00:14,471 --> 00:00:16,839 You look great in that dress. You don't look fat at all. 6 00:00:16,873 --> 00:00:18,307 You made your point, Francine! 7 00:00:18,342 --> 00:00:19,575 [ Laughter ] 8 00:00:19,610 --> 00:00:21,744 I hope you enjoyed your kidnapping. 9 00:00:21,778 --> 00:00:25,314 That was just my fun way to give you some exciting news. 10 00:00:25,349 --> 00:00:26,749 You've been elected 11 00:00:26,783 --> 00:00:30,419 to be in charge of this year's C.I.A. calendar! 12 00:00:30,454 --> 00:00:32,221 Really? I can't believe it. 13 00:00:32,256 --> 00:00:35,358 And to be clear, I pissed myself out of happiness just now, 14 00:00:35,392 --> 00:00:36,859 not during the kidnapping thing earlier 15 00:00:36,893 --> 00:00:38,227 that -- that wasn't scary. 16 00:00:38,262 --> 00:00:39,528 As you know, our calendar 17 00:00:39,563 --> 00:00:42,365 is the C.I.A.'s number-one fundraiser. 18 00:00:42,399 --> 00:00:44,900 Selling calendars pays for everything around here, 19 00:00:44,935 --> 00:00:47,169 including printing the calendars. 20 00:00:47,204 --> 00:00:49,505 It's an enormous expense. 21 00:00:49,539 --> 00:00:51,741 Now be a dear and help me with this. 22 00:00:51,775 --> 00:00:54,176 These are the steroids officially endorsed 23 00:00:54,211 --> 00:00:57,313 by MTV's "Real World Road Rules Challenge." 24 00:00:57,347 --> 00:00:58,781 As per usual, 25 00:00:58,815 --> 00:01:03,619 I will be absolutely ripped for my July spread. 26 00:01:03,654 --> 00:01:05,187 [ Sloop! ] 27 00:01:05,222 --> 00:01:08,758 [ Screams ] 28 00:01:08,792 --> 00:01:10,426 This is the photo proof book. 29 00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:12,695 You'll store all your photos and negatives in here. 30 00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:14,630 Guard this with your life. 31 00:01:14,665 --> 00:01:17,433 And also, it likes to wear this tiny, little jacket on Sundays. 32 00:01:17,467 --> 00:01:19,635 - It does? - Well,I like it to. 33 00:01:19,670 --> 00:01:20,936 Just give this your all, Stan. 34 00:01:20,971 --> 00:01:22,705 You don't want to mess up the calendar, 35 00:01:22,739 --> 00:01:24,907 or you'll never live it down. 36 00:01:24,941 --> 00:01:27,410 What? My calendar wasn't that bad. 37 00:01:27,444 --> 00:01:30,813 It was just 12 pictures of some lady taken through her blinds. 38 00:01:30,847 --> 00:01:33,516 She had those big boobs! 39 00:01:36,787 --> 00:01:39,622 Good morning, U.S.A. 40 00:01:39,656 --> 00:01:43,259 I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day 41 00:01:43,293 --> 00:01:46,262 the sun in the sky has a smile on his face 42 00:01:46,296 --> 00:01:49,799 and he's shinin' a salute to the american race 43 00:01:52,669 --> 00:01:55,738 oh, boy, it's swell to say 44 00:01:55,772 --> 00:01:58,274 good -- Good morning, U.S.A. 45 00:01:58,308 --> 00:02:06,308 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 46 00:02:07,175 --> 00:02:08,951 I just felt so aimless. 47 00:02:08,985 --> 00:02:11,287 I was in a rut, Francine. You get that. 48 00:02:11,321 --> 00:02:13,456 I do. You know, once, I was in -- 49 00:02:13,490 --> 00:02:14,590 I was telling a story! 50 00:02:14,624 --> 00:02:18,427 Can I finish one story one time?! 51 00:02:18,462 --> 00:02:19,895 Thank you! 52 00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:23,632 After a ton of soul searching, I found my new passion -- 53 00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:25,801 getting my degree in Criminology. 54 00:02:25,836 --> 00:02:28,637 I'm so happy you're going to college. 55 00:02:28,672 --> 00:02:30,339 Can I go to school today? 56 00:02:30,374 --> 00:02:32,641 You know, if you tried harder in high school, 57 00:02:32,676 --> 00:02:34,810 maybe you could go to college like Roger. 58 00:02:34,845 --> 00:02:36,946 I'm missing my psats right now! 59 00:02:36,980 --> 00:02:39,315 Steve, you need to get serious about school. 60 00:02:39,349 --> 00:02:41,484 Me, I worked my ass off for this. 61 00:02:41,518 --> 00:02:42,885 Good for you, Roger. 62 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:46,055 The name is Jeremy Neiderhoff, college freshman. 63 00:02:46,089 --> 00:02:47,757 Bro: Neiderhoff! 64 00:02:47,791 --> 00:02:49,358 It's really great 65 00:02:49,393 --> 00:02:52,294 when you find something you're passionate about. 66 00:02:52,329 --> 00:02:55,030 I'm happy for you, but I'm also a little jealous. 67 00:02:55,065 --> 00:02:57,032 You know, I never went to college. 68 00:02:57,067 --> 00:02:59,969 And look at you now -- driving someone else to college. 69 00:03:00,003 --> 00:03:01,937 [ Whistles ] Wow. 70 00:03:05,442 --> 00:03:07,610 [ Stately music playing ] 71 00:03:15,519 --> 00:03:16,886 [ Music stops, crow caws ] 72 00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:19,855 [ Music continues ] 73 00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:22,658 [ Music stops ] 74 00:03:22,692 --> 00:03:25,628 [ Music continues ] 75 00:03:25,662 --> 00:03:27,296 [ Music stops ] 76 00:03:27,330 --> 00:03:30,466 [ Music continues ] 77 00:03:30,500 --> 00:03:32,835 I got a Discovery card! 78 00:03:32,869 --> 00:03:34,737 Whoo! 79 00:03:34,771 --> 00:03:36,705 Look at all these cool things you can buy 80 00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:38,474 with your Discovery card points! 81 00:03:38,508 --> 00:03:39,909 Wow, look at this jacket! 82 00:03:39,943 --> 00:03:42,578 Francine, I quit college to focus on my new passion -- 83 00:03:42,612 --> 00:03:43,712 getting this jacket. 84 00:03:43,747 --> 00:03:45,714 Roger, it's really great 85 00:03:45,749 --> 00:03:48,684 when you find something you're passionate about. 86 00:03:48,718 --> 00:03:50,386 I'm happy for you. 87 00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,988 But I'm also a little jealous. I never owned a -- 88 00:03:53,023 --> 00:03:55,624 You never owned a satin credit-card jacket. I know. 89 00:03:55,659 --> 00:03:57,693 Have I told you that story before? 90 00:03:57,727 --> 00:03:59,962 Uh, yeah. Beep, beep. Let's go. 91 00:04:04,408 --> 00:04:06,376 Sir, thank you for getting me an assistant. 92 00:04:06,410 --> 00:04:09,679 Don't thank me. Have your assistant do it. 93 00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:14,017 Asher! I wanted the water room-temperature 94 00:04:14,051 --> 00:04:16,886 but not this room. I meant a slightly colder room. 95 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:18,755 Oh, I'm so sorry. I-i'll get an ice cube. 96 00:04:18,789 --> 00:04:20,456 That's your generation, isn't it? 97 00:04:20,491 --> 00:04:22,025 An ice cube will fix everything. 98 00:04:22,059 --> 00:04:24,027 Well, not this time. You're fired. 99 00:04:24,061 --> 00:04:25,762 But before you go, bring me an ice cube. 100 00:04:25,796 --> 00:04:29,599 That does sound nice. 101 00:04:29,633 --> 00:04:32,669 Sir, I'd like you to meet the newest member of the C.I.A., 102 00:04:32,703 --> 00:04:35,538 which makes him eligible for the C.I.A.'s calendar -- 103 00:04:35,572 --> 00:04:37,340 Agent Tyrese Gibson. 104 00:04:37,374 --> 00:04:38,675 Thank you for this opportunity. 105 00:04:38,709 --> 00:04:40,810 Now, I've been reviewing some files, 106 00:04:40,844 --> 00:04:43,980 and I think I have a lead on a terrorist attack on U.S. soil. 107 00:04:44,014 --> 00:04:47,717 Your eyes -- they are mesmerizing. 108 00:04:47,751 --> 00:04:49,385 Can I put a shirt on? 109 00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:51,754 I don't think you understand why we brought you here. 110 00:04:56,393 --> 00:04:58,027 This is Dustin, my new assistant. 111 00:04:58,062 --> 00:04:59,429 He's a flincher. 112 00:04:59,463 --> 00:05:01,698 - [ Grunts ] - Two for flinching. 113 00:05:01,732 --> 00:05:03,533 - [ Sneezes ] - Germs! 114 00:05:03,567 --> 00:05:06,569 How dare you not dive in front of the proof book to protect it. 115 00:05:06,603 --> 00:05:08,705 It's like you don't believe in this, or me. 116 00:05:08,739 --> 00:05:10,707 You've got bad energy, Dustin. 117 00:05:10,741 --> 00:05:12,942 All day, you've been silently judging me. 118 00:05:12,976 --> 00:05:14,844 You're fired. 119 00:05:17,581 --> 00:05:20,516 Whoa. You think your dad would hire me? 120 00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:22,485 'Cause I don't have a lot going on 121 00:05:22,519 --> 00:05:26,889 since I lost my frisbee in that scary bush. 122 00:05:26,924 --> 00:05:28,991 It'd be hell to work for my dad. 123 00:05:29,026 --> 00:05:31,761 He has never once said I did a good job. 124 00:05:31,795 --> 00:05:33,396 When I was a kid, 125 00:05:33,430 --> 00:05:35,598 my dad would always take me to the same beach. 126 00:05:35,632 --> 00:05:39,635 So for father's day, I drew him a picture of our beach. 127 00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:41,003 My bedtime story that night 128 00:05:41,038 --> 00:05:45,441 was a 45-minute critique of my drawing. 129 00:05:45,476 --> 00:05:46,809 Well, if it were me, 130 00:05:46,844 --> 00:05:48,945 I would have drawn it on a single piece of paper. 131 00:05:48,979 --> 00:05:52,482 I did. He tore it up. That's how critical he is. 132 00:05:52,516 --> 00:05:55,718 And that day, I vowed that if he ever made anything, 133 00:05:55,753 --> 00:05:57,120 I'd ruin it. 134 00:05:57,154 --> 00:05:59,122 And I forgot about that vow for a long time 135 00:05:59,156 --> 00:06:01,424 'cause, you know, I had other stuff going on. 136 00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:04,093 But now it's back with a vengeance. 137 00:06:04,128 --> 00:06:07,797 Oh! So you're gonna try to ruin his calendar thing. 138 00:06:07,831 --> 00:06:09,565 [ Mockingly ] "Oh!" 139 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:11,701 [ Normal voice ] Yeah. I'll become his assistant, 140 00:06:11,735 --> 00:06:13,569 and I'll help him make the calendar. 141 00:06:13,604 --> 00:06:15,872 [ Chuckling ] And then when he's feeling all good about it, 142 00:06:15,906 --> 00:06:17,440 I'll destroy it! 143 00:06:17,474 --> 00:06:20,410 Babe, you're scaring me more than the scary bush. 144 00:06:20,444 --> 00:06:23,112 [ Ominous music plays ] 145 00:06:28,819 --> 00:06:31,888 Bro: Neiderhoff! 146 00:06:31,922 --> 00:06:33,456 How was school today, Steve? 147 00:06:33,490 --> 00:06:34,924 You know I didn't go. 148 00:06:34,958 --> 00:06:36,959 I watched you and mom drink two bottles of wine, 149 00:06:36,994 --> 00:06:39,028 and now we're here, and mom's sleeping in the car. 150 00:06:39,062 --> 00:06:40,863 So, you want to go watch your mommy sleep 151 00:06:40,898 --> 00:06:44,734 or help me break in my Discovery card? 152 00:06:44,768 --> 00:06:46,969 I thought this was a stupid choice when you said it, 153 00:06:47,004 --> 00:06:48,171 but I get it now. 154 00:06:48,205 --> 00:06:50,673 10 more minutes, then we go shopping? 155 00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:58,414 Ooh, I'm sorry. 156 00:06:58,449 --> 00:07:00,216 We don't accept Discovery card. 157 00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,985 We do take Visa, Mastercard, American Express, 158 00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:04,687 Diner's Club, Traveler's checks, 159 00:07:04,721 --> 00:07:07,590 even a gentleman's agreement to come back and pay tomorrow, 160 00:07:07,624 --> 00:07:09,525 but no Discovery card. 161 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,194 What?! Let's get out of here, Steve. 162 00:07:11,228 --> 00:07:14,730 This place smells like farts, anyway -- or it's about to. 163 00:07:14,765 --> 00:07:16,532 [ Grunts ] 164 00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:19,769 Is there a store here that sells paper towels and underwear? 165 00:07:22,139 --> 00:07:24,574 Discovery card at a tumi store? 166 00:07:24,608 --> 00:07:26,142 You have to be kidding me. 167 00:07:26,176 --> 00:07:28,077 This is tumi. 168 00:07:28,111 --> 00:07:30,112 Tu-mi. 169 00:07:30,147 --> 00:07:31,514 Sorry. Geez. 170 00:07:31,548 --> 00:07:36,686 Tuuumiiiii! 171 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:41,090 I guess Discovery card isn't as widely accepted as I thought. 172 00:07:41,124 --> 00:07:42,925 Oh, you must be the Discovery card people 173 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,961 I've been hearing about. Right this way. 174 00:07:44,995 --> 00:07:47,029 I think I know what you're looking for. 175 00:07:49,099 --> 00:07:51,634 Steve, are you seeing this door? 176 00:07:54,805 --> 00:07:56,606 Please, sir, don't make this difficult. 177 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:59,041 I'm going. I'm going. 178 00:07:59,076 --> 00:08:01,777 Aah! 179 00:08:01,812 --> 00:08:04,680 I guess I'll never get that Discovery card jacket. 180 00:08:04,715 --> 00:08:06,983 Man: Psst. 181 00:08:07,017 --> 00:08:09,218 I know a place that takes Discovery card. 182 00:08:09,253 --> 00:08:10,653 [ Gasps ] 183 00:08:13,123 --> 00:08:15,825 Hayley, I don't know why you wanted this job, 184 00:08:15,859 --> 00:08:18,227 but I hope you're motivated enough to handle it. 185 00:08:21,665 --> 00:08:23,866 Oh, I'm plenty motivated. 186 00:08:23,901 --> 00:08:25,167 What was that? 187 00:08:25,202 --> 00:08:27,136 I thought I heard you say something pointedly, 188 00:08:27,170 --> 00:08:29,071 like you were plotting to take someone down, 189 00:08:29,106 --> 00:08:31,974 someone close to you, someone completely oblivious. 190 00:08:32,009 --> 00:08:34,677 - Nope. - Okey-dokey. 191 00:08:37,861 --> 00:08:40,464 Oh, my god. This is quite a production. 192 00:08:40,584 --> 00:08:41,994 Don't pretend like you didn't know 193 00:08:42,114 --> 00:08:44,163 the C.I.A. calendar is a huge deal. 194 00:08:44,201 --> 00:08:46,335 I don't think anyone outside the C.I.A. knows. 195 00:08:46,370 --> 00:08:48,137 You mean the muggles? 196 00:08:48,172 --> 00:08:50,239 We're all set up to shoot "January" with Jackson. 197 00:08:50,274 --> 00:08:51,841 What?! No! 198 00:08:51,875 --> 00:08:55,878 Every year, Bullock goes overboard with the steroids. 199 00:08:55,913 --> 00:08:58,181 We do july first and then drop him off in the woods 200 00:08:58,215 --> 00:09:01,284 so he can work off his aggression in isolation. 201 00:09:01,318 --> 00:09:02,552 [ Woman screams ] 202 00:09:02,586 --> 00:09:05,555 Bullock love body! 203 00:09:05,589 --> 00:09:09,458 Muscle powder! 204 00:09:09,493 --> 00:09:12,562 [ Slurping ] 205 00:09:12,596 --> 00:09:15,131 [ Grunting ] 206 00:09:15,165 --> 00:09:17,400 All right, people, we're only gonna get one of these. 207 00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:18,868 Bullock doesn't like the flash. 208 00:09:18,902 --> 00:09:19,936 [ Grunts ] [ Camera shutter clicks ] 209 00:09:19,970 --> 00:09:21,337 Lightning box! 210 00:09:21,371 --> 00:09:22,605 Aah! 211 00:09:22,639 --> 00:09:24,373 Heads up. 212 00:09:24,408 --> 00:09:25,508 I said heads up. 213 00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:27,276 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 214 00:09:27,311 --> 00:09:30,880 [ Screaming ] 215 00:09:30,914 --> 00:09:32,515 [ Panting ] 216 00:09:32,549 --> 00:09:34,183 Hayley, you saved my life. 217 00:09:34,218 --> 00:09:38,087 And ruined the perfect shot. Way to go. 218 00:09:38,121 --> 00:09:39,589 Wha-- what are you doing? 219 00:09:39,623 --> 00:09:41,591 It's called a slow clap. 220 00:09:41,625 --> 00:09:43,492 Notice the speed my hands are moving. 221 00:09:43,527 --> 00:09:46,662 That's how sarcastic I'm being. 222 00:09:46,697 --> 00:09:49,498 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 223 00:09:49,533 --> 00:09:51,234 Come on, Hayley. Throw him a good one. 224 00:09:51,268 --> 00:09:54,003 - I'm hitting him in the chest. - With the pointy part! 225 00:09:54,037 --> 00:09:56,239 Why don't we just photoshop a ball into his hands? 226 00:09:56,273 --> 00:09:58,274 Only amateurs use photoshop. 227 00:09:58,308 --> 00:10:00,142 You don't know what photoshop is, do you? 228 00:10:00,177 --> 00:10:01,611 I don't have to know what something is 229 00:10:01,645 --> 00:10:05,581 to not like it. You think I know what hummus is? 230 00:10:05,616 --> 00:10:07,316 [ Camera shutter clicks ] Stan, listen. 231 00:10:07,351 --> 00:10:09,485 I've been tracking the terrorists' cellphone chatter, 232 00:10:09,519 --> 00:10:11,220 and I think it's time to go undercover. 233 00:10:11,255 --> 00:10:13,289 Sure, sure. Whatever. Release the bull! 234 00:10:17,127 --> 00:10:18,327 Beautiful. 235 00:10:18,362 --> 00:10:20,263 Hayley, get this bull out of here. 236 00:10:30,574 --> 00:10:31,941 Not so fast. 237 00:10:31,975 --> 00:10:33,476 You're a clown. Make us laugh. 238 00:10:33,510 --> 00:10:35,411 Um... 239 00:10:36,647 --> 00:10:37,713 Aah! 240 00:10:37,748 --> 00:10:39,148 [ Laughs ] 241 00:10:39,182 --> 00:10:41,083 I di-- I didn't think she could do it. 242 00:10:44,521 --> 00:10:46,622 Uh, we've already been to this mall. 243 00:10:46,657 --> 00:10:48,190 No one takes Discovery card. 244 00:10:48,225 --> 00:10:50,059 Oh, we're not going here. 245 00:10:50,093 --> 00:10:52,461 For us Discovery card people, 246 00:10:52,496 --> 00:10:55,698 this is our mall. 247 00:10:55,732 --> 00:10:57,533 Starting... 248 00:10:57,567 --> 00:10:59,068 right now, this is our mall. 249 00:10:59,102 --> 00:11:00,670 250 00:11:00,704 --> 00:11:03,606 This mall has remained untouched since the '80s. 251 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:05,675 It's perfect. How can we ever repay you? 252 00:11:05,709 --> 00:11:08,444 Actually, I host this singer-songwriter night - Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 253 00:11:08,478 --> 00:11:10,379 - Uh-huh. - At the Coffee Cabana on... 254 00:11:12,382 --> 00:11:14,583 And a little for Roge. [ Sniffs ] 255 00:11:14,618 --> 00:11:16,619 [ Slurring ] Let's get shopping! 256 00:11:16,753 --> 00:11:18,721 A shower thermometer? 257 00:11:18,755 --> 00:11:20,723 This will eliminate all the guesswork. 258 00:11:20,757 --> 00:11:23,192 Look at me, Steve. I'm like a jockey... 259 00:11:23,226 --> 00:11:25,394 who came four times! 260 00:11:25,429 --> 00:11:26,529 Whoa! 261 00:11:26,563 --> 00:11:28,197 I can't see it. I can't se-- 262 00:11:28,231 --> 00:11:29,565 Ohh! 263 00:11:29,599 --> 00:11:31,701 It's a fucking classic car. 264 00:11:31,735 --> 00:11:34,136 It's coming right out of the fucking poster! 265 00:11:36,139 --> 00:11:38,307 These are compliments of the gentlemen in the booth. 266 00:11:38,342 --> 00:11:40,443 - The California raisins! - The California raisins! 267 00:11:40,477 --> 00:11:43,279 - We're cursed to live forever! - We're cursed to live forever! 268 00:11:46,316 --> 00:11:48,284 [ Sighs ] The calendar is done. 269 00:11:48,318 --> 00:11:49,785 Hard to believe that this proof book 270 00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:52,288 holds my entire vision inside. 271 00:11:52,322 --> 00:11:55,725 This must be what it's like to hold a baby you love. 272 00:11:55,759 --> 00:11:57,760 [ Snoring ] 273 00:12:03,433 --> 00:12:05,034 What are you doing with my baby?! 274 00:12:05,068 --> 00:12:07,336 Um, I-I was just gonna lock it up in the safe. 275 00:12:07,371 --> 00:12:10,072 Ah, good. That's where babies go. 276 00:12:11,208 --> 00:12:13,175 277 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:15,411 It's here! Steve, it's here! 278 00:12:17,147 --> 00:12:18,748 As good as it looks on the outside 279 00:12:18,782 --> 00:12:21,217 is how scratchy it feels on the inside. 280 00:12:21,251 --> 00:12:24,286 You can tell the stitching is fishing line. 281 00:12:24,321 --> 00:12:26,222 It's perfect. 282 00:12:26,256 --> 00:12:29,759 My Discovery card bill. 283 00:12:29,793 --> 00:12:31,727 [ Gasps ] 284 00:12:31,762 --> 00:12:34,263 Rag, take me away. [ Inhales deeply ] 285 00:12:36,433 --> 00:12:37,666 Oh, shit, bro. 286 00:12:37,701 --> 00:12:40,102 The A.P.R. on this card is terrible. 287 00:12:40,137 --> 00:12:41,604 What are you gonna do about this bill? 288 00:12:41,638 --> 00:12:44,306 You'll -- you'll never be able to pay it back. 289 00:12:44,341 --> 00:12:46,175 I'm gonna ask for a moment of silence, 290 00:12:46,209 --> 00:12:48,511 because Jeremy Neiderhoff is dead. 291 00:12:48,545 --> 00:12:49,845 [ Marker squeaks ] 292 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,482 [ Sighs ] Now I got to call Mrs. Neiderhoff. 293 00:12:53,517 --> 00:12:55,117 [ Laughs ] 294 00:12:55,152 --> 00:12:56,852 Oh, there's someone on the other line, Claire. 295 00:12:56,887 --> 00:12:58,654 It's probably Jeremy. [ Cellphone beeps ] 296 00:12:58,688 --> 00:12:59,822 Hello? 297 00:12:59,856 --> 00:13:01,724 Nooooo! 298 00:13:01,758 --> 00:13:04,126 Jeff, I got his book! 299 00:13:04,161 --> 00:13:05,661 Here. Now I'm gonna go get my dad, 300 00:13:05,695 --> 00:13:07,329 and the moment we walk in the door, 301 00:13:07,364 --> 00:13:08,597 you set the book on fire. 302 00:13:08,665 --> 00:13:10,199 The photo book. 303 00:13:10,233 --> 00:13:11,867 What other -- [ Scoffs ] 304 00:13:11,902 --> 00:13:13,536 Yes, the photo book. 305 00:13:13,570 --> 00:13:14,804 I knew it. 306 00:13:14,838 --> 00:13:16,772 I can't wait to see the look on his face 307 00:13:16,807 --> 00:13:19,208 when all his hard work goes up in smoke. 308 00:13:19,242 --> 00:13:22,578 His hard work is in the book. 309 00:13:22,612 --> 00:13:24,847 Dad, can you come upstairs for a sec-- 310 00:13:24,881 --> 00:13:27,450 Hayley, I wanted to discuss your performance this week. 311 00:13:27,484 --> 00:13:28,818 And how disappointing I've been? 312 00:13:28,852 --> 00:13:30,352 I've been really impressed. 313 00:13:30,387 --> 00:13:32,188 What? R-really? 314 00:13:32,222 --> 00:13:33,556 You worked your ass off. 315 00:13:33,590 --> 00:13:34,824 Don't think I haven't noticed. 316 00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:37,626 You've done a good -- no, a great -- 317 00:13:37,661 --> 00:13:40,596 no, a good job. 318 00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:44,467 And I'm proud of you. 319 00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,902 Did he -- did he just say...? 320 00:13:46,937 --> 00:13:50,272 The greatest words that a girl could hear 321 00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:53,642 well, my dad just spat 'em right into my ear 322 00:13:53,677 --> 00:13:57,379 I've been waiting for years and years to hear 323 00:13:57,414 --> 00:13:59,815 my dad, he's proud of me 324 00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:02,151 Pose! I did a good -- no, great 325 00:14:02,185 --> 00:14:03,652 no, good job 326 00:14:03,687 --> 00:14:05,387 I did a good -- no, great 327 00:14:05,422 --> 00:14:07,189 no, good job 328 00:14:07,224 --> 00:14:08,824 I did a good -- no, great 329 00:14:08,859 --> 00:14:10,893 no, good job 330 00:14:10,927 --> 00:14:14,196 my dad and I have had rough patches 331 00:14:14,231 --> 00:14:18,901 that's why Jeff's upstairs with a book of matches 332 00:14:18,935 --> 00:14:20,202 Oh, shit! 333 00:14:20,237 --> 00:14:21,670 [ Music stops ] 334 00:14:21,705 --> 00:14:22,938 Klaus: Don't worry. I got this. 335 00:14:22,973 --> 00:14:24,273 [ Music continues ] 336 00:14:24,307 --> 00:14:26,342 My name is Klaus, and I -- 337 00:14:26,376 --> 00:14:28,878 I-I, uh, uh -- oh, dang. 338 00:14:28,912 --> 00:14:32,348 Say something. Anything. [ Music fading ] 339 00:14:32,382 --> 00:14:34,717 I killed two teenagers! 340 00:14:34,751 --> 00:14:38,320 I killed two teenagers [ Music continues ] 341 00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:41,590 I was hammered on bourbon as I took a turn 342 00:14:41,625 --> 00:14:45,761 then ditched the car as my passenger burned 343 00:14:45,795 --> 00:14:46,829 Oh, wait. 344 00:14:46,863 --> 00:14:50,733 I killed three teenagers 345 00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:53,602 three teenagers 346 00:14:53,637 --> 00:14:58,407 I killed three teenagers 347 00:14:58,441 --> 00:15:01,510 Don't tell anyone. 348 00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:03,612 Jeff, don't! 349 00:15:03,647 --> 00:15:04,947 Burn, baby, burn! 350 00:15:04,981 --> 00:15:07,683 Roast in the flames of revenge, Mr. "S." 351 00:15:07,717 --> 00:15:09,285 Put out the book. Put out the book! 352 00:15:09,319 --> 00:15:10,419 - What? - The water! 353 00:15:10,453 --> 00:15:12,421 I'm on it, babe. 354 00:15:12,455 --> 00:15:13,856 What are you doing?! 355 00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:15,724 I'll pee out the fire. 356 00:15:15,759 --> 00:15:17,493 You could have just used the -- 357 00:15:17,527 --> 00:15:20,429 Babe, you know this thing doesn't work when you talk. 358 00:15:23,433 --> 00:15:26,569 The whole book is destroyed. 359 00:15:26,603 --> 00:15:28,837 [ Liquid splashing ] 360 00:15:28,872 --> 00:15:32,708 [ Moaning ] 361 00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:39,191 For the first time in my life, my dad is proud of me, 362 00:15:39,311 --> 00:15:41,913 and I spoil everything in five minutes. 363 00:15:41,947 --> 00:15:44,348 He can't find out this proof book is ruined. 364 00:15:44,383 --> 00:15:45,783 I have to fix this. 365 00:15:45,818 --> 00:15:47,919 Babe, I don't think this is fixable. 366 00:15:47,953 --> 00:15:49,921 Maybe I can re-create the whole calendar. 367 00:15:49,955 --> 00:15:52,724 I mean, I-if I take new photos of the agents, 368 00:15:52,758 --> 00:15:55,126 I can photoshop them into the old backgrounds. 369 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:56,327 Will you help me? 370 00:15:56,361 --> 00:15:57,795 [ Groans ] 371 00:15:57,830 --> 00:16:00,264 [ Buzzes lips ] 372 00:16:00,299 --> 00:16:02,366 [ Sighing ] 373 00:16:05,504 --> 00:16:07,672 Is that a yes? 374 00:16:07,706 --> 00:16:08,873 Yeah. 375 00:16:08,907 --> 00:16:10,908 376 00:16:17,282 --> 00:16:19,851 [ Screaming ] 377 00:16:19,885 --> 00:16:21,819 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 378 00:16:29,995 --> 00:16:31,496 [ Woman screaming ] 379 00:16:31,530 --> 00:16:33,564 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 380 00:16:46,678 --> 00:16:48,613 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 381 00:17:00,025 --> 00:17:02,693 [ Screaming ] 382 00:17:02,728 --> 00:17:03,928 [ Horse whinnies ] 383 00:17:03,962 --> 00:17:05,396 [ Screaming ] 384 00:17:05,430 --> 00:17:06,864 Oh, god! Oh, god! 385 00:17:06,899 --> 00:17:07,899 [ Screaming ] 386 00:17:07,933 --> 00:17:09,333 Beautiful! 387 00:17:09,368 --> 00:17:10,568 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 388 00:17:10,602 --> 00:17:11,936 [ Screaming ] 389 00:17:18,010 --> 00:17:19,911 This is gonna work! 390 00:17:23,482 --> 00:17:26,751 Bro: Neiderhoff! 391 00:17:26,785 --> 00:17:28,352 Goodbye, old friend. 392 00:17:28,387 --> 00:17:31,489 You burned too brightly for this world. 393 00:17:31,523 --> 00:17:34,725 [ Gulping ] 394 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,460 Mom, that's not funeral behavior. 395 00:17:36,495 --> 00:17:38,663 [ Slurring ] You're not funeral behavior! 396 00:17:38,697 --> 00:17:40,631 [ Engine sputtering ] 397 00:17:43,635 --> 00:17:46,704 We've got company. 398 00:17:46,738 --> 00:17:48,072 We're from Discovery card. 399 00:17:48,106 --> 00:17:50,007 It's standard practice to inspect the body 400 00:17:50,042 --> 00:17:52,710 when there's a large outstanding balance. 401 00:17:56,648 --> 00:17:58,115 He's ready now. 402 00:18:01,486 --> 00:18:03,654 Ugh! God, the smell! 403 00:18:03,689 --> 00:18:05,723 He must have been dead for weeks. 404 00:18:08,961 --> 00:18:10,661 Oh, I almost forgot. 405 00:18:10,696 --> 00:18:12,730 This funeral was paid for on the card, 406 00:18:12,764 --> 00:18:16,901 which earned Mr. Neiderhoff this Discovery card beach towel. 407 00:18:22,007 --> 00:18:23,741 Roger: [ Muffled ] Yay! 408 00:18:23,775 --> 00:18:26,010 Thank you. He would have wanted to be buried with it. 409 00:18:30,716 --> 00:18:33,985 I'll be the coolest guy at the beach. 410 00:18:37,723 --> 00:18:39,123 Smith, enjoy your big night, 411 00:18:39,157 --> 00:18:41,392 because tomorrow we put away the calendar 412 00:18:41,426 --> 00:18:47,398 and start to focus on the C.I.A.'s big night of magic! 413 00:18:47,432 --> 00:18:49,533 That was supposed to be a smoke pellet. 414 00:18:51,637 --> 00:18:52,970 [ Breathing heavily ] 415 00:18:53,005 --> 00:18:55,072 Hayley, did you remember to bring my lapel pin? 416 00:18:55,107 --> 00:18:57,375 Don't worry. I have it right here. 417 00:18:57,409 --> 00:18:59,477 Wait, this is the wrong pin. 418 00:18:59,511 --> 00:19:02,013 This is a big night. I asked for my big-night pin. 419 00:19:02,047 --> 00:19:04,982 My big-night pin is bigger. It has star-shaped stars. 420 00:19:05,017 --> 00:19:06,684 These are dot-shaped stars. 421 00:19:06,718 --> 00:19:08,686 There were so many on top of the dresser. 422 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,688 Uh, may-- maybe I should have brought them all. 423 00:19:10,722 --> 00:19:14,525 You think?! I can't believe I said you were doing a good job. 424 00:19:14,559 --> 00:19:15,960 You ruined this night 425 00:19:15,994 --> 00:19:18,696 by making it all about bringing the wrong pin. 426 00:19:18,730 --> 00:19:20,097 [ Crying ] 427 00:19:20,132 --> 00:19:23,434 Mr. "S," Hayley didn't ruin this night for you. 428 00:19:23,468 --> 00:19:25,069 She saved it. 429 00:19:25,103 --> 00:19:28,039 Jeff, are you out of your mind? This night is a disaster! 430 00:19:28,073 --> 00:19:29,073 Dots. 431 00:19:29,107 --> 00:19:31,442 Dots are too good for you. 432 00:19:31,476 --> 00:19:32,843 [ Gasps ] You take that back! 433 00:19:32,878 --> 00:19:34,011 I won't. 434 00:19:34,046 --> 00:19:35,880 - [ Gasps ] - You're a big jerk! 435 00:19:35,914 --> 00:19:38,649 For your information, I destroyed your proof book, 436 00:19:38,684 --> 00:19:41,619 and Hayley worked her butt off to re-create the whole calendar. 437 00:19:41,653 --> 00:19:44,455 She did it because she knew how big of a deal this was for you. 438 00:19:44,489 --> 00:19:46,123 All she wants is your approval, 439 00:19:46,158 --> 00:19:48,592 and all you ever do is cut her down. 440 00:19:48,627 --> 00:19:50,027 I'm motivating her to be better. 441 00:19:50,062 --> 00:19:52,530 Your daughter is already amazing, 442 00:19:52,564 --> 00:19:55,099 and it's sad you've never been able to see that. 443 00:19:58,603 --> 00:20:00,571 - Jeff? - Oh, hey, Mr. "S"! 444 00:20:00,605 --> 00:20:01,806 I need your help. 445 00:20:06,645 --> 00:20:08,913 Dad, w-what are you doing here? 446 00:20:08,947 --> 00:20:11,148 I'm here to say I'm sorry. 447 00:20:11,183 --> 00:20:12,917 Did Jeff tell you about the calendar? 448 00:20:12,951 --> 00:20:15,753 Yeah, but what I'm sorry about is this. 449 00:20:17,589 --> 00:20:19,790 I should never have torn this up. 450 00:20:19,825 --> 00:20:22,626 It's a beautiful picture. 451 00:20:22,661 --> 00:20:23,794 For a kid. 452 00:20:23,829 --> 00:20:25,596 Thanks, Dad. 453 00:20:25,630 --> 00:20:27,774 But you're missing your big night. 454 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,055 Jeff's got it covered. 455 00:20:29,175 --> 00:20:30,774 This is January. 456 00:20:31,208 --> 00:20:32,563 He's a football man, 457 00:20:32,683 --> 00:20:34,485 and he goes really fast. 458 00:20:34,605 --> 00:20:37,691 Next slide. [ Chuckling] Oh! 459 00:20:37,811 --> 00:20:39,711 I wasn't here when she did this one, 460 00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:42,250 but it looks like a guy washing his truck. 461 00:20:42,370 --> 00:20:44,546 Maybe it was dusty or... 462 00:20:44,666 --> 00:20:47,452 - Next slide... - No one's asking you to do this! 463 00:20:47,498 --> 00:20:50,427 Oh, this guy was really nice. 464 00:20:50,547 --> 00:20:52,512 Wait, I think I was there for the last one. 465 00:20:52,632 --> 00:20:55,098 - Previous slide? - Sit down, you Yutz! 466 00:20:55,218 --> 00:21:00,266 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 467 00:21:00,316 --> 00:21:04,866 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33604

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