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1
00:00:03,135 --> 00:00:03,976
[ Sighs ]
2
00:00:04,214 --> 00:00:05,714
I love springtime,
3
00:00:05,749 --> 00:00:07,916
when the bulky sweatshirts
come off,
4
00:00:07,951 --> 00:00:11,119
and you can see which guys
were in the gym all winter.
5
00:00:11,154 --> 00:00:13,455
What's that, snot?
Why am I so distracted today?
6
00:00:15,359 --> 00:00:18,126
'Cause I'm craving something,
something I've never had.
7
00:00:18,161 --> 00:00:19,761
Potato boobs!
8
00:00:19,796 --> 00:00:21,229
[ Chomping ]
9
00:00:21,265 --> 00:00:23,798
You can have
the starchy simulacra.
10
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:27,352
I need to -- nay, I will touch
the real thing.
11
00:00:27,472 --> 00:00:30,821
_
12
00:00:30,941 --> 00:00:34,609
Exactly! What kind of guys
get boob at this school?
13
00:00:34,645 --> 00:00:37,212
I could be Tanya Johnson's baby.
14
00:00:37,247 --> 00:00:40,749
[ Speaks inaudibly ]
[ Coos ]
15
00:00:40,784 --> 00:00:43,718
But he's doing that. Or...
16
00:00:43,754 --> 00:00:45,570
[ Indistinct conversations ]
17
00:00:45,622 --> 00:00:47,455
Hello.
18
00:00:47,491 --> 00:00:49,424
Varsity athletes touch boob!
19
00:00:49,459 --> 00:00:51,693
'Cause they got
those cool letter jackets!
20
00:00:51,728 --> 00:00:54,963
[ Scoffs ] And how are you gonna
become a varsity athlete?
21
00:00:55,083 --> 00:00:58,005
_
22
00:00:58,869 --> 00:01:00,869
Hardly anyone's going out
for water polo.
23
00:01:00,904 --> 00:01:03,271
I-it's like they're
giving letter jackets away!
24
00:01:03,307 --> 00:01:05,507
Or you could buy
a foreign knockoff jacket
25
00:01:05,542 --> 00:01:06,875
and say you transferred in.
26
00:01:06,910 --> 00:01:10,612
I really think people don't
remember us.
27
00:01:11,214 --> 00:01:13,598
28
00:01:13,650 --> 00:01:16,484
Good morning, U.S.A.
29
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,904
I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day
30
00:01:19,940 --> 00:01:23,191
the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
31
00:01:23,243 --> 00:01:27,495
and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
32
00:01:29,533 --> 00:01:32,534
oh, boy, it's swell to say
33
00:01:32,536 --> 00:01:35,203
good --
good morning, U.S.A.
34
00:01:35,205 --> 00:01:43,364
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
35
00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:46,631
[ Indistinct conversations ]
36
00:01:46,683 --> 00:01:48,967
Man, these C.I.A. auctions
are amazing.
37
00:01:49,019 --> 00:01:50,969
There's so much cool stuff.
38
00:01:51,021 --> 00:01:52,520
Hey, can we get
a Farsi translator?
39
00:01:52,556 --> 00:01:53,855
Please, please, please?
40
00:01:53,890 --> 00:01:55,607
Will you feed her
and take her for walks?
41
00:01:55,642 --> 00:01:57,359
No.
42
00:01:57,394 --> 00:01:58,693
And sold!
43
00:01:58,729 --> 00:02:00,528
This working hellfire missile
44
00:02:00,564 --> 00:02:03,898
goes to the man stroking a cat
menacingly in the front row.
45
00:02:03,934 --> 00:02:05,483
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, it's not for me.
46
00:02:05,535 --> 00:02:07,736
It's for downtown Pittsburgh.
47
00:02:07,788 --> 00:02:09,738
[ Cat purrs ]
48
00:02:09,790 --> 00:02:13,241
Our next item is
a 26-foot sailboat
49
00:02:13,243 --> 00:02:16,378
seized off the coast
of Colombia.
50
00:02:16,413 --> 00:02:17,746
Wow.
Wow.
51
00:02:17,781 --> 00:02:19,948
I've always wanted to be
a boat guy.
52
00:02:19,983 --> 00:02:22,283
I know, right?
Hanging out on the deck,
53
00:02:22,319 --> 00:02:24,419
washing down fries
from the marina caf?
54
00:02:24,454 --> 00:02:25,920
with some cheap canned beer,
55
00:02:25,956 --> 00:02:27,856
making constant small repairs,
56
00:02:27,891 --> 00:02:29,391
getting sunburned
57
00:02:29,426 --> 00:02:31,025
and complaining
the whole time...
58
00:02:31,061 --> 00:02:32,727
Sounds like heaven.
59
00:02:32,763 --> 00:02:35,563
Why don't we start the bidding
at $5,000?
60
00:02:35,599 --> 00:02:37,699
Right here!
I see $5,000. Do I have --
61
00:02:37,734 --> 00:02:39,033
$10,000!
$20,000!
62
00:02:39,069 --> 00:02:40,568
$50,000!
63
00:02:40,604 --> 00:02:41,803
What the hell is going on?!
64
00:02:41,838 --> 00:02:43,405
'Scusies?
65
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,024
Has the Colombian boat
been searched for cocaine?
66
00:02:46,076 --> 00:02:48,676
Uh, yes. There is no cocaine
on the boat.
67
00:02:48,712 --> 00:02:49,978
Take backs.
Me, too.
68
00:02:50,013 --> 00:02:51,413
I'm out.
69
00:02:51,448 --> 00:02:53,515
Sold to the transvestite
in the red dress.
70
00:02:53,550 --> 00:02:55,517
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
71
00:02:55,552 --> 00:02:56,918
He is good.
72
00:02:56,953 --> 00:02:59,754
He's got a better eye
than Garry Marshall.
73
00:03:02,717 --> 00:03:04,250
Good afternoon, men,
74
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,671
and welcome to
water polo tryouts.
75
00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:08,921
I'm the new coach,
James Hetfield.
76
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,523
I know what you're thinking.
77
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:13,125
"Whoa, the James Hetfield
from Metallica?"
78
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,027
The answer is no way...
79
00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:17,162
even though
I look and sound like him
80
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:18,697
and have all his guitars.
81
00:03:18,733 --> 00:03:19,999
The point is, if I had to deal
82
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:22,034
with the kind of pressure
that guy's under,
83
00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,669
I'd probably crack
84
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,638
and end up as
a high school water polo coach.
85
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,706
So, it's a good thing
that I'm just
86
00:03:27,742 --> 00:03:29,775
this very different
James Hetfield.
87
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,879
Okay, I appreciate
everyone's interest in the team,
88
00:03:33,915 --> 00:03:37,316
but I can only keep 13 boys.
89
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:40,119
And...there are 13 of you
trying out.
90
00:03:40,154 --> 00:03:41,320
Okay, we're good.
91
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:43,155
Sweet!
[ Door bangs open ]
92
00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,790
Not so...
93
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,091
Uhh!
94
00:03:46,127 --> 00:03:47,693
[ Groans ] Not...
95
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:49,862
not so fast!
96
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:52,781
I'll take my jacket
in a women's medium.
97
00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,567
[ Water splashing ]
98
00:03:54,619 --> 00:03:57,069
I got cut
from water polo tryouts!
99
00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:58,571
So you're not on a team,
100
00:03:58,573 --> 00:04:00,155
and I don't get to hang
with the cool parents
101
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,625
for yet another year.
Gotcha.
102
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:05,311
[ Spoon clatters ]
103
00:04:05,346 --> 00:04:07,346
Great. No one cares.
I care.
104
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:09,281
Klaus? Wh-where are you?
105
00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:10,783
On the table,
106
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:13,319
under a pair
of Stan's workout shorts.
107
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,304
He missed
the dirty clothes hamper...
108
00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,590
by, like, 80 feet.
109
00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:19,592
So tell me about
this water polo tryout.
110
00:04:19,644 --> 00:04:21,060
How was your eggbeater?
111
00:04:21,095 --> 00:04:23,062
Were your dry passes not to
the strong side hand?
112
00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:24,813
Uh...I don't know.
113
00:04:24,849 --> 00:04:27,266
Wha-- how do you know so much
about water polo?
114
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,817
Eh, growing up,
115
00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,603
it was a terrific way
to avoid Turkish people.
116
00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:32,271
Now I can give you
some pointers,
117
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:34,773
and we will force the coach
to reconsider you.
118
00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:36,075
Awesome!
119
00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,693
I am going to make you
120
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:41,113
the greatest water polo player
in the world!
121
00:04:41,165 --> 00:04:44,333
Yeah!
Step aside, Peter Nordquis!
122
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:47,252
Wow. You really know
your water polo.
123
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:48,787
I was just making a name up.
124
00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,624
Welp, you got it right.
125
00:04:51,676 --> 00:04:53,726
Ready?
Ready!
126
00:04:56,347 --> 00:04:58,631
There seems to have been
a misunderstanding
127
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,899
about what kind of boat guys
we're gonna be.
128
00:05:00,935 --> 00:05:03,035
Whoa! Is it true you guys
bought a sailboat?!
129
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,703
What do you care?
130
00:05:04,739 --> 00:05:07,039
I love sailing. I practically
grew up on boats.
131
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,340
I taught at sailing camp.
132
00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:10,209
It's the one thing
I'm really good at.
133
00:05:10,244 --> 00:05:12,277
I guess, statistically,
there had to be one.
134
00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:14,013
If you ever need any help
with the boat --
135
00:05:14,048 --> 00:05:15,280
No.
I'd be happy to --
136
00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:16,749
[ cocks gun ]
137
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:19,652
Guns are a great tool
138
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,021
for keeping things from
escalating out of control.
139
00:05:22,056 --> 00:05:23,956
Now then, about this outfit
disagreement...
140
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,659
[ Cocks gun ]
You're gonna dress my way.
141
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,927
Nice and easy.
142
00:05:28,963 --> 00:05:30,663
See? This works!
No talking!
143
00:05:30,715 --> 00:05:32,414
Let's hit the marina.
144
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:34,833
[ Panting ]
I just got mugged!
145
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,836
[ Both whistling ]
146
00:05:43,060 --> 00:05:45,978
Ugh. Look at your upper body
bobbing and swaying.
147
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:48,013
You look like
a broken Barbie doll
148
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,932
surfacing after a ferry sinking.
149
00:05:49,984 --> 00:05:51,850
Well, h-how do I stay still?
150
00:05:51,902 --> 00:05:54,687
Tuck your hips in.
[ Grunts ] Like this?
151
00:05:54,739 --> 00:05:57,189
Ugh. Here, watch me.
152
00:05:58,325 --> 00:06:00,442
Like this.
153
00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:03,078
Dude, what is wrong with you?
154
00:06:03,114 --> 00:06:05,030
I don't understand
what I'm supposed to do!
155
00:06:05,082 --> 00:06:07,499
You're supposed to do this.
156
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:10,169
Aah!
157
00:06:10,204 --> 00:06:12,004
Tuck...your...hips!
158
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,956
Ooh!
159
00:06:14,008 --> 00:06:17,926
Then you pick up a ball,
eggbeater for elevation,
160
00:06:17,962 --> 00:06:20,053
and fire it into the back of the net.
[ Grunts ]
161
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,881
Whoa.
162
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,349
Holy crap.
163
00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:26,101
You "ratatouille"'d me!
164
00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:27,936
But it's not like
I can go to tryouts with a --
165
00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:30,055
with a -- with a fish
hanging on my shorts.
166
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,974
I'm just gonna
have to keep practicing
167
00:06:32,026 --> 00:06:33,225
till I can do it myself.
168
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,394
[ Scoffs ]
A fish hanging on my shorts.
169
00:06:35,396 --> 00:06:37,980
You know, in Japan,
a fish on your shorts
170
00:06:38,032 --> 00:06:40,733
is eight years of
neither good nor bad luck.
171
00:06:40,735 --> 00:06:43,902
The Japanese
are very superstitious.
172
00:06:43,954 --> 00:06:46,955
[ Metallica's
"Master of Puppets" playing ]
173
00:06:50,995 --> 00:06:54,830
[ Chuckles ] Wow.
Smith, you just made the team.
174
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,081
Master!
175
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:57,416
Master!
[ Crank clicking ]
176
00:06:57,418 --> 00:07:00,302
Master!
177
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:03,255
I don't know what got into you,
but I love it.
178
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,140
You're stronger, more confident.
179
00:07:05,176 --> 00:07:08,251
Even your package looks bigger.
Well done.
180
00:07:13,234 --> 00:07:16,802
Nothing wrong with
a fish hanging in your shorts.
181
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:21,023
[ Both laughing maniacally ]
182
00:07:21,075 --> 00:07:23,104
There's probably a few things
wrong with it.
183
00:07:31,955 --> 00:07:34,122
Look at those guys
with their tit-eating grins.
184
00:07:34,174 --> 00:07:35,790
Time to join 'em.
185
00:07:35,792 --> 00:07:38,293
All right, Klaus.
Take the curly reins.
186
00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:40,846
[ High-pitched voice ] Aah!
187
00:07:40,881 --> 00:07:42,297
Let's go, Scottie!
188
00:07:42,349 --> 00:07:43,832
Focus, Matt!
189
00:07:43,867 --> 00:07:45,183
Please note that I'm here, Nick!
190
00:07:45,219 --> 00:07:46,968
I have to go back to work soon!
191
00:07:50,807 --> 00:07:52,140
[ Whistle blows ]
192
00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:53,859
[ "Master of Puppets" playing ]
193
00:07:53,894 --> 00:07:55,393
[ Spectators cheer ]
194
00:07:55,445 --> 00:07:57,979
195
00:07:57,981 --> 00:07:59,314
[ Spectators cheer ]
196
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,703
[ Spectators cheer ]
197
00:08:11,128 --> 00:08:12,994
[ Spectators cheer ]
198
00:08:13,046 --> 00:08:15,330
199
00:08:15,382 --> 00:08:17,382
Wow! Uh...go, Steve!
200
00:08:17,417 --> 00:08:19,100
Woman: You're Steve's mom?
201
00:08:19,136 --> 00:08:21,336
[ Hesitantly ] Yes?
Your son's a superstar!
202
00:08:21,371 --> 00:08:22,971
What are you doing
way over there?
203
00:08:23,006 --> 00:08:24,906
You have to sit with us!
204
00:08:24,942 --> 00:08:27,209
Really?
With the cool parents?
205
00:08:27,244 --> 00:08:30,345
Let me just check for something
in my purse.
206
00:08:30,347 --> 00:08:32,898
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!
207
00:08:32,933 --> 00:08:34,683
[Bleep] Yes!
208
00:08:34,735 --> 00:08:36,184
Master!
209
00:08:36,236 --> 00:08:37,852
Master!
[ Spectators cheering ]
210
00:08:39,273 --> 00:08:41,856
Great first game, men.
That was as exciting
211
00:08:41,909 --> 00:08:43,992
as singing in front
of 70,000 people
212
00:08:44,027 --> 00:08:46,695
at Giants Stadium...
I would imagine.
213
00:08:46,697 --> 00:08:48,697
Tell you what.
You keep the wins going,
214
00:08:48,749 --> 00:08:50,415
I'm taking you all
to raging waters,
215
00:08:50,450 --> 00:08:52,250
and everyone can bring a friend.
216
00:08:52,286 --> 00:08:53,868
[ All cheer ]
217
00:08:53,921 --> 00:08:56,288
I'm bringing David!
218
00:09:00,427 --> 00:09:01,876
You hear that, buddy?
219
00:09:01,878 --> 00:09:03,178
Raging waters.
220
00:09:03,213 --> 00:09:06,765
So much water, so much rage.
221
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,183
It sounds lovely.
222
00:09:08,218 --> 00:09:10,185
Well, you're gonna be
my plus-one.
223
00:09:10,220 --> 00:09:12,887
Really?
Of course. You're my partner.
224
00:09:12,923 --> 00:09:14,256
Hell, right now
225
00:09:14,291 --> 00:09:17,292
you're my best friend
in the whole world.
226
00:09:17,327 --> 00:09:18,860
[ Breathing unevenly ]
227
00:09:18,895 --> 00:09:21,763
[ Sobbing quietly ]
228
00:09:21,798 --> 00:09:24,032
[ Fizzles ]
229
00:09:24,067 --> 00:09:26,034
[ Water lapping,
seabird calling ]
230
00:09:26,069 --> 00:09:28,403
[ Slurping, gulping ]
231
00:09:30,123 --> 00:09:33,408
Slow down!
No wake!
232
00:09:33,460 --> 00:09:34,909
Assholes.
233
00:09:34,911 --> 00:09:38,797
[ Both gulping ]
234
00:09:38,832 --> 00:09:41,216
Thanks, buddy. [ Slurps ]
235
00:09:41,251 --> 00:09:43,952
Hey, you think we should, uh,
sand something?
236
00:09:43,987 --> 00:09:46,021
Something always needs sanding.
237
00:09:46,056 --> 00:09:47,355
[ Scratching ]
238
00:09:47,391 --> 00:09:48,757
[ Slurps ]
239
00:09:48,809 --> 00:09:50,091
Whew! Hot work.
240
00:09:50,093 --> 00:09:52,010
I could use
another cold one, Stan.
241
00:09:52,062 --> 00:09:53,762
Oh, I think we're out.
242
00:09:53,814 --> 00:09:56,364
Who the...What the...
243
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,000
[ Angelic music plays ]
You boys looked dry.
244
00:10:00,404 --> 00:10:02,237
[ Fizzes ]
Welcome to the marina.
245
00:10:02,272 --> 00:10:04,306
Or as they say in Spanish,
246
00:10:04,341 --> 00:10:06,875
bienvenidos to the marina.
247
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,443
I'm Van Dusen.
248
00:10:08,478 --> 00:10:10,145
I'm Roger, and this is Stan.
249
00:10:10,180 --> 00:10:11,813
We're just up
from the B.V.I.
250
00:10:11,848 --> 00:10:13,448
Ahh. Good sail.
251
00:10:13,483 --> 00:10:15,283
[ Slurps ] Good sail.
[ Slurps ] Good sail. Good sail.
252
00:10:15,335 --> 00:10:18,003
You, uh...painting
after you sand?
253
00:10:18,038 --> 00:10:20,088
You know it.
Ain't that just how it goes?
254
00:10:20,123 --> 00:10:21,373
It surely is.
255
00:10:21,425 --> 00:10:23,008
You know what I tell my friends
256
00:10:23,043 --> 00:10:25,043
when they ask what it's like
to own a boat?
257
00:10:25,095 --> 00:10:28,797
I say,
"Stand under a cold shower
258
00:10:28,799 --> 00:10:31,466
and tear up $100 bills."
259
00:10:31,468 --> 00:10:33,935
[ Laughing ] Oh, my God,
you're perfect!
260
00:10:33,970 --> 00:10:35,970
That's such a perfect thing
to say!
261
00:10:36,023 --> 00:10:38,189
[ Chuckles ] It surely is.
262
00:10:38,225 --> 00:10:42,243
Well, I'll see ya, boys.
I got a fuel line to patch.
263
00:10:43,580 --> 00:10:46,147
Did you see all the melanomas
on his arms?
264
00:10:46,183 --> 00:10:47,449
That's a boat guy.
265
00:10:47,484 --> 00:10:49,384
And now we are, too.
[ Clink ]
266
00:10:49,419 --> 00:10:51,986
How's the sanding going?
I think I've been sanding a window.
267
00:10:52,039 --> 00:10:53,321
Cool.
268
00:10:55,992 --> 00:10:57,292
Morning, mom.
269
00:10:57,327 --> 00:10:59,327
Sit, Steve.
I made you breakfast.
270
00:10:59,329 --> 00:11:01,463
I-I'm kind of running late
for school.
271
00:11:01,498 --> 00:11:03,331
This is just
a little thank-you
272
00:11:03,383 --> 00:11:06,084
for turning me into
one of the cool jock parents.
273
00:11:06,136 --> 00:11:07,502
Well, I'm glad to help.
274
00:11:07,554 --> 00:11:10,338
I never thought I'd be
part of their world
275
00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:14,008
because you and Hayley have
always sucked at everything.
276
00:11:14,061 --> 00:11:17,062
Hey. What's for breakfast?
Nothin'. Beat it.
277
00:11:18,348 --> 00:11:19,898
[ Metallica's
"All Nightmare Long" playing ]
278
00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:22,484
'Cause we hunt you down
without mercy
279
00:11:22,519 --> 00:11:26,054
hunt you down
all nightmare long
280
00:11:26,089 --> 00:11:28,590
feel us breathe
upon your face
281
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:31,226
feel us shift,
every move we trace
282
00:11:31,261 --> 00:11:34,062
hunt you down without mercy
283
00:11:34,097 --> 00:11:35,997
hunt you down all night--
284
00:11:36,032 --> 00:11:37,399
[ camera shutter clicks ]
285
00:11:37,434 --> 00:11:39,033
Hey! No cameras!
286
00:11:39,035 --> 00:11:41,035
Are you reaching for something?
287
00:11:41,071 --> 00:11:42,420
Only greatness.
288
00:11:42,456 --> 00:11:43,922
I'm Amy Reed,
289
00:11:43,957 --> 00:11:45,206
sports editor of
the Pearl Bailey Gazette.
290
00:11:45,208 --> 00:11:47,208
A girl trying to make it
in a boys' world.
291
00:11:47,210 --> 00:11:48,960
I respect the hell out of that.
292
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,628
You're taking the school
by storm,
293
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:53,014
and I want to know
what makes you so good.
294
00:11:53,049 --> 00:11:55,316
My laser-like focus.
295
00:11:55,352 --> 00:11:57,252
[ Breathily ] Oh, my.
296
00:11:57,287 --> 00:11:59,521
To be continued.
297
00:12:00,323 --> 00:12:04,058
Okay, the new name for
your shorts is "The Bone Yard,"
298
00:12:04,094 --> 00:12:06,428
'cause there were
so many bones in there.
299
00:12:06,463 --> 00:12:07,962
Wait, did -- did you also
have a --
300
00:12:07,998 --> 00:12:10,665
Oh, don't tell me you didn't
feel mine, bro.
301
00:12:10,700 --> 00:12:12,267
That's bullshit, man.
302
00:12:16,506 --> 00:12:19,207
Ugh. Soggy.
303
00:12:19,242 --> 00:12:21,209
I can't get a single fry
in my mouth!
304
00:12:21,244 --> 00:12:22,460
[ Thud ]
Aah!
305
00:12:22,496 --> 00:12:24,245
I didn't ask for a beer!
306
00:12:24,297 --> 00:12:26,414
Throwing beers is the only thing
that breaks up the monotony.
307
00:12:26,466 --> 00:12:29,167
Owning a boat sucks.
It does.
308
00:12:29,219 --> 00:12:31,002
It's just constant maintenance.
309
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:33,972
Should we...I don't know,
try sailing it?
310
00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:37,142
Where? Where in the ocean
do you need to go?
311
00:12:37,177 --> 00:12:40,645
Uh, here's the bill
for this month's slip fee.
312
00:12:42,265 --> 00:12:44,399
Are you kidding me?
Oh, my God!
313
00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:47,519
$14?! That's an hour
of kiln time!
314
00:12:47,571 --> 00:12:49,437
That's it.
We're sellin' the boat.
315
00:12:49,439 --> 00:12:50,688
Heh, good luck.
316
00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:54,159
I've been trying to sell mine
for 15 years.
317
00:12:54,194 --> 00:12:58,246
Trouble is, most people know
how stupid it is to own a boat.
318
00:12:58,281 --> 00:13:00,615
Sometimes I just wish
this thing would sink
319
00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:02,700
so I could get
the insurance money.
320
00:13:02,752 --> 00:13:05,253
That gives me an idea.
321
00:13:05,288 --> 00:13:06,688
Me, too.
322
00:13:06,723 --> 00:13:09,207
Oh, I love it when we have
ideas at the same time!
323
00:13:09,259 --> 00:13:11,709
So do I! Bring it in.
324
00:13:11,761 --> 00:13:13,595
[ Lowered voice ] I think
we should get pinkberry.
325
00:13:13,630 --> 00:13:15,213
[ Lowered voice ] Oh, yum, yum,
yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.
326
00:13:15,265 --> 00:13:18,132
And after that, let's commit...
[ Whispers ] insurance fraud.
327
00:13:18,168 --> 00:13:21,436
[ Whispers ] It's so easy
to make plans with you.
328
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,573
Hey, Klaus.
329
00:13:25,609 --> 00:13:28,276
I see Amy's water polo story
came out in the school paper.
330
00:13:28,311 --> 00:13:31,346
Yeah, pretty cool.
She calls me the "Pool Shark."
331
00:13:31,381 --> 00:13:35,149
"When asked how he got so good
at water polo, Smith replied,
332
00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:38,353
"'by being totally awesome
all by myself with no help.
333
00:13:38,388 --> 00:13:39,654
#blessed'"
334
00:13:39,689 --> 00:13:41,456
what is this crap?!
335
00:13:41,491 --> 00:13:44,158
Come on! I couldn't say
I had a fish in my shorts.
336
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:45,727
I-I'd get kicked off
the team!
337
00:13:45,762 --> 00:13:47,595
You wouldn't even be on the team
338
00:13:47,631 --> 00:13:49,664
if I wasn't steering you
by the pubes.
339
00:13:49,666 --> 00:13:52,000
Ugh, Klaus, stop being
such a baby.
340
00:13:52,052 --> 00:13:53,384
It's one stupid article.
341
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:55,169
Yeah, but --
But nothing!
342
00:13:55,171 --> 00:13:57,589
I'm not forgetting about you,
I swear to God!
343
00:13:57,641 --> 00:14:00,174
[ Horn honks ]
Oh, that's the bus to raging waters.
344
00:14:00,176 --> 00:14:02,343
Great, I'll get my stuff.
345
00:14:02,345 --> 00:14:03,561
I'm ready.
346
00:14:03,597 --> 00:14:05,013
Oh. Yeah...
347
00:14:05,065 --> 00:14:06,347
Ugh.
348
00:14:06,383 --> 00:14:08,249
Um, about that...
349
00:14:08,285 --> 00:14:12,186
Come on, Steve!
Thanks for inviting me!
350
00:14:12,222 --> 00:14:13,788
Dude.
351
00:14:13,823 --> 00:14:17,775
I know I invited you first,
but you can't compete with that.
352
00:14:19,613 --> 00:14:24,032
If it's competition you want,
then prepare to lose.
353
00:14:24,084 --> 00:14:25,416
Uh, but not right now,
of course,
354
00:14:25,452 --> 00:14:26,784
because you're killing it.
355
00:14:26,836 --> 00:14:28,703
You're taking a hot girl
to a water park,
356
00:14:28,755 --> 00:14:33,091
and I'm stuck home in a bowl.
But things can change.
357
00:14:33,126 --> 00:14:37,512
Oh, yes, change is in the air.
358
00:14:37,547 --> 00:14:40,597
Change is a-comin'.
359
00:14:40,717 --> 00:14:42,590
Chan--
360
00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:47,078
It's been a hell of a season,
men.
361
00:14:47,113 --> 00:14:49,513
You've played for me,
for each other,
362
00:14:49,549 --> 00:14:50,965
and for this letter jacket.
363
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:54,001
Now let's go send
Fairfax Country Day School...
364
00:14:54,053 --> 00:14:58,089
Off to never-never land, ah!
365
00:15:04,931 --> 00:15:07,565
'Sup?
Ready to do this?
366
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:08,933
I'm thinking today
367
00:15:08,935 --> 00:15:11,769
the pool shark will be
doing it by himself.
368
00:15:11,771 --> 00:15:14,605
I'm too engrossed
in this week's cafeteria menu.
369
00:15:14,607 --> 00:15:16,607
[ Sighs ] Is this about
raging waters?
370
00:15:16,659 --> 00:15:17,942
Sloppy Joe Friday.
371
00:15:17,994 --> 00:15:20,611
Start your weekend
on the toilet.
372
00:15:20,663 --> 00:15:23,114
Fine. I don't need you.
Yeah, yeah.
373
00:15:23,116 --> 00:15:25,082
This is gonna be like
the part of "Ratatouille"
374
00:15:25,118 --> 00:15:26,617
when the human realizes
375
00:15:26,619 --> 00:15:28,002
he doesn't need the rat
any more,
376
00:15:28,037 --> 00:15:30,004
and then he's really successful
on his own,
377
00:15:30,039 --> 00:15:31,706
and then the movie ends.
378
00:15:33,126 --> 00:15:34,625
The movie doesn't end
379
00:15:34,677 --> 00:15:37,628
when you fall asleep
with your blankie, Steve.
380
00:15:37,664 --> 00:15:38,896
[ Whistle blows ]
381
00:15:38,931 --> 00:15:40,164
[ Cheering ]
382
00:15:40,199 --> 00:15:42,133
[ Grunting ]
383
00:15:42,135 --> 00:15:43,517
[ Coughs ]
384
00:15:43,553 --> 00:15:46,053
[ Smack ]
385
00:15:46,105 --> 00:15:48,472
The hell's wrong with you,
Smith?!
386
00:15:48,474 --> 00:15:49,940
Is Steve all right?
387
00:15:49,976 --> 00:15:53,477
I don't think so.
He's losing his mother's love.
388
00:15:53,479 --> 00:15:55,980
[ Grunting ]
389
00:15:56,032 --> 00:15:58,816
Look at you, quivering like
the Italian army.
390
00:15:58,818 --> 00:16:01,652
That's because your legs are as
weak as the Italian air force,
391
00:16:01,704 --> 00:16:04,538
which is why you've taken fewer
shots than the Italian Navy.
392
00:16:04,574 --> 00:16:06,040
I'm not just gonna float here
393
00:16:06,075 --> 00:16:08,793
and let you compare me to
the entire Italian armed forces.
394
00:16:08,828 --> 00:16:12,129
Well, what are you gonna
do about it, paisan?
395
00:16:12,165 --> 00:16:14,048
I'm gonna use all my strength
396
00:16:14,083 --> 00:16:16,500
to be the pool shark
I know I can be!
397
00:16:16,502 --> 00:16:20,755
[ Triumphant music playing ]
398
00:16:26,512 --> 00:16:28,179
[ Glass shatters ]
399
00:16:28,181 --> 00:16:30,181
Oh! Just missed.
400
00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:34,685
[ Weakly ] And I used...
all my strength.
401
00:16:36,022 --> 00:16:37,855
[ Thinking ]Oh, God.
402
00:16:37,857 --> 00:16:40,191
Am I drowning?
403
00:16:40,243 --> 00:16:42,576
I am drowning.
404
00:16:42,612 --> 00:16:44,829
My life is flashingbefore my eyes.
405
00:16:44,864 --> 00:16:47,698
[ Claps hands ]
[ Singsongy ] Come to mama!
406
00:16:49,202 --> 00:16:50,868
[ Thud ]
407
00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:55,539
What?! No!
408
00:16:55,591 --> 00:16:57,925
Have fun tonight, honey.
409
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,761
Give him everything he wants.
410
00:17:00,797 --> 00:17:02,930
You bet.
411
00:17:05,134 --> 00:17:06,934
[ Both moaning ]
412
00:17:06,969 --> 00:17:09,186
No! Those are my boobs!
413
00:17:09,222 --> 00:17:12,056
Stop...ignoring me.
414
00:17:31,711 --> 00:17:33,994
[ Bubbling ]
415
00:17:36,249 --> 00:17:39,633
[ Coughing, sputtering ]
416
00:17:39,669 --> 00:17:41,886
You okay?
[ Coughs ]
417
00:17:41,921 --> 00:17:45,723
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm better than okay.
418
00:17:45,758 --> 00:17:49,927
It took me being underwater
to finally see things clearly.
419
00:17:49,929 --> 00:17:52,596
That's a great lyric.
420
00:17:52,598 --> 00:17:54,181
I got my confidence back.
421
00:17:54,233 --> 00:17:55,683
I quit.
422
00:17:58,871 --> 00:18:00,638
I have a confession to make.
423
00:18:00,673 --> 00:18:04,241
I didn't become a great
water polo player all by myself.
424
00:18:04,277 --> 00:18:07,812
In fact, the guy that
made me great is here today.
425
00:18:07,847 --> 00:18:09,613
[ Lowered voice ] Dude,
what are you doing?
426
00:18:09,649 --> 00:18:13,217
You see, sometimes one member of
the team gets the spotlight,
427
00:18:13,252 --> 00:18:14,885
even though
he couldn't have done it
428
00:18:14,921 --> 00:18:17,621
without another member --
an important member.
429
00:18:17,657 --> 00:18:20,658
I'm talking about the little guy
in my swimsuit.
430
00:18:20,693 --> 00:18:23,260
And I think it's time
for everybody to meet him.
431
00:18:23,296 --> 00:18:25,679
[ All gasp ]
432
00:18:26,883 --> 00:18:29,383
Welp, it was a good run.
433
00:18:29,435 --> 00:18:31,719
Stop! You'll lose everything.
434
00:18:31,771 --> 00:18:34,021
This guy doesn't get
the attention he deserves.
435
00:18:34,056 --> 00:18:36,807
Maybe 'cause he's so small.
Prove it!
436
00:18:36,809 --> 00:18:40,110
'Scuse me. Sorry.
Just making my way out.
437
00:18:40,146 --> 00:18:41,812
I know how this ends.
438
00:18:41,814 --> 00:18:43,364
He gets a little shy.
439
00:18:43,399 --> 00:18:46,400
M-maybe if I stroke him a bit,
he'll pop his head out.
440
00:18:46,452 --> 00:18:48,152
That's so gross.
441
00:18:48,154 --> 00:18:50,321
I'm so cold.
442
00:18:50,323 --> 00:18:51,956
Are you a varsity athlete?
443
00:18:51,991 --> 00:18:53,991
No. My dad owns
a jacket company.
444
00:18:54,043 --> 00:18:56,710
Oh, my God. [ Giggles ]
445
00:18:56,746 --> 00:18:58,963
Okay, everybody,
I see how this looks.
446
00:18:58,998 --> 00:19:01,832
I'm not a weirdo.
I just have a fish in my shorts.
447
00:19:01,884 --> 00:19:03,834
He's been helping me
get a jacket.
448
00:19:03,886 --> 00:19:06,253
Seemed like a good way
to get to second base.
449
00:19:06,305 --> 00:19:08,923
Thinking about
switching schools.
450
00:19:11,394 --> 00:19:13,677
I think she's ready.
Shipshape.
451
00:19:13,679 --> 00:19:17,848
Hey, guys! I'm so psyched you
invited me to take the boat out!
452
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:20,100
Well, Jeff, we realized
how selfish we'd been,
453
00:19:20,152 --> 00:19:22,269
and we wanted to share
the boat-guy lifestyle
454
00:19:22,321 --> 00:19:24,071
with someone who'd
appreciate it.
455
00:19:24,106 --> 00:19:27,107
Awesome. So, can I cast off?
456
00:19:27,159 --> 00:19:29,443
You mean drive it?
Yeah, sure, knock yourself out.
457
00:19:29,495 --> 00:19:31,195
Hey, dad.
458
00:19:31,247 --> 00:19:34,164
Whoa! Hayley, Hayley, we just
invited Jeff to go sailing.
459
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,783
But it's our anniversary.
460
00:19:35,835 --> 00:19:37,334
Of what?
Being married.
461
00:19:37,370 --> 00:19:40,955
And what better way to celebrate
than a sunset sail?
462
00:19:41,007 --> 00:19:42,423
Eh, mind the lines.
463
00:19:45,094 --> 00:19:48,095
[ Adventurous music playing ]
464
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:59,390
[ Seabirds calling ]
465
00:19:59,392 --> 00:20:00,941
So that's what sailing's
supposed to look like.
466
00:20:00,977 --> 00:20:02,226
Would've been cool if we'd done that.
Yeah.
467
00:20:02,278 --> 00:20:03,894
So, how long till
the boat sinks?
468
00:20:03,946 --> 00:20:05,813
Mm, as soon
as the painter's tape
469
00:20:05,865 --> 00:20:09,199
that's covering the big hole
in the bottom disintegrates.
470
00:20:09,235 --> 00:20:10,401
Well, let's go get 'em
471
00:20:10,453 --> 00:20:12,820
and collect
that sweet boat insurance.
472
00:20:12,872 --> 00:20:14,788
Boat insurance?
Who insures a boat?
473
00:20:14,824 --> 00:20:16,907
I thought the play was
life insurance.
474
00:20:16,909 --> 00:20:18,242
What?
475
00:20:18,244 --> 00:20:19,910
I took out a very aggressive
policy on Jeff.
476
00:20:19,912 --> 00:20:22,162
Damn it, Roger,
we can't let them drown!
477
00:20:22,214 --> 00:20:25,416
It's, uh, it's actually a pretty
important part of the plan.
478
00:20:25,468 --> 00:20:27,468
The -- the, uh, crux,
if you will.
479
00:20:27,503 --> 00:20:29,253
Ugh, forget it. They lived.
480
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:34,091
[ Panting ] That was horrible!
The boat just sank!
481
00:20:34,093 --> 00:20:36,260
And the life jackets
didn't help at all!
482
00:20:36,312 --> 00:20:38,262
It's like they're filled
with sand.
483
00:20:38,314 --> 00:20:40,347
Roger!
It wasn't me!
484
00:20:40,399 --> 00:20:42,483
Wait a minute.
[ Click ]
485
00:20:45,488 --> 00:20:47,104
Cocaine!
486
00:20:47,156 --> 00:20:48,989
Stan, do you know what
this means?!
487
00:20:49,025 --> 00:20:50,441
I sure do.
488
00:20:50,493 --> 00:20:52,672
It means all three of you
are going to prison.
489
00:20:53,488 --> 00:20:54,580
Wait, what?
490
00:20:55,175 --> 00:20:59,051
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
491
00:20:59,101 --> 00:21:03,651
Repair and Synchronization by
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