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1
00:00:02,512 --> 00:00:05,114
I know it's weird to sit
in Santa's lap at our age,
2
00:00:05,116 --> 00:00:06,715
but we got to do what it takes.
3
00:00:06,717 --> 00:00:08,450
Why are you walking so fast?
4
00:00:08,452 --> 00:00:10,252
I'm trying to keep up
with the new kid.
5
00:00:11,655 --> 00:00:13,722
That dork?
Oh, great idea.
6
00:00:13,724 --> 00:00:16,291
Let's hang around him
and lower our status even more.
7
00:00:16,293 --> 00:00:18,260
Right at the height
of bullying season.
8
00:00:19,829 --> 00:00:22,731
Don't you get it, Steve?
This kid's such a loser,
9
00:00:22,733 --> 00:00:25,067
if we stay
within 20 feet of him,
10
00:00:25,069 --> 00:00:27,136
bullies will never even see us.
11
00:00:27,138 --> 00:00:29,204
A cloaking device for dorks?
12
00:00:29,206 --> 00:00:31,306
That's so crazy, it might work.
13
00:00:31,308 --> 00:00:32,808
Smith and Snot!
14
00:00:32,810 --> 00:00:34,576
The two biggest losers
in the whole --
15
00:00:34,578 --> 00:00:36,612
who is that?
16
00:00:36,614 --> 00:00:38,681
[ Choir vocalizes ]
He's beautiful.
17
00:00:38,683 --> 00:00:41,383
Glasses, weak chin, bad posture.
18
00:00:41,385 --> 00:00:43,752
Oh, sweet scoliosis.
19
00:00:43,754 --> 00:00:45,387
He's mine.
20
00:00:45,389 --> 00:00:47,556
Oh, my God, Snot!
It worked!
21
00:00:47,558 --> 00:00:49,191
Hey, new kid!
22
00:00:49,193 --> 00:00:52,227
I don't know your name,
but I don't need to.
23
00:00:52,229 --> 00:00:54,329
It's Martin.
I told you not to tell me!
24
00:00:54,331 --> 00:00:56,699
Your new name is Fist Catch.
25
00:00:56,701 --> 00:01:00,436
No! You're supposed to catch it
with your face!
26
00:01:00,438 --> 00:01:02,404
Sorry.
My face is busy
27
00:01:02,406 --> 00:01:04,640
watching your face
gets its ass kicked!
28
00:01:04,642 --> 00:01:06,141
[ Grunting ]
29
00:01:06,143 --> 00:01:07,342
Wah!
30
00:01:07,344 --> 00:01:08,811
Both: Whoa.
31
00:01:08,813 --> 00:01:10,646
[ Mortal Kombat voice ]
Finish him.
32
00:01:10,648 --> 00:01:12,314
Both: Whoa.
33
00:01:12,316 --> 00:01:13,315
What?
34
00:01:13,317 --> 00:01:15,350
[ Grunting ]
35
00:01:18,321 --> 00:01:20,222
Brutality.
36
00:01:20,224 --> 00:01:22,091
You should go into radio.
37
00:01:22,093 --> 00:01:24,526
Naw, man.
I want to be a do-cent.
38
00:01:24,528 --> 00:01:27,162
At a museum.
A fancy museum.
39
00:01:27,164 --> 00:01:29,832
Get real into art.
40
00:01:32,402 --> 00:01:35,738
Good morning, U.S.A.
41
00:01:35,740 --> 00:01:39,374
I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day
42
00:01:39,376 --> 00:01:42,411
the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
43
00:01:42,413 --> 00:01:45,914
and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race
44
00:01:48,451 --> 00:01:51,754
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
45
00:01:51,756 --> 00:01:54,256
Good --
Good morning, U.S.A.
46
00:01:54,258 --> 00:01:59,895
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
47
00:01:59,897 --> 00:02:02,498
[ Birds chirping ]
48
00:02:02,500 --> 00:02:03,699
Whoa.
49
00:02:03,701 --> 00:02:05,234
Mertz is the toughest kid
in school.
50
00:02:05,236 --> 00:02:06,502
H-how did you do that?
51
00:02:06,504 --> 00:02:08,804
Easy. I take karate.
52
00:02:08,806 --> 00:02:10,339
Karate is the coolest.
53
00:02:10,341 --> 00:02:11,673
I'm always saying that.
54
00:02:11,675 --> 00:02:13,342
No, Steve.
55
00:02:13,344 --> 00:02:15,477
I believe you said
glitter pens were the coolest.
56
00:02:15,479 --> 00:02:18,313
Not anymore, Snot!
Karate is the coolest now.
57
00:02:18,315 --> 00:02:19,748
Yeah, it is cool.
58
00:02:19,750 --> 00:02:22,151
You guys should come take class
at my dojo.
59
00:02:22,153 --> 00:02:24,386
The only drawback is
beating kids up
60
00:02:24,388 --> 00:02:26,922
keeps getting me
kicked out of school.
61
00:02:26,924 --> 00:02:30,325
I'm 17 and I can't read
a alphabet.
62
00:02:30,327 --> 00:02:33,362
But I know which one
the moon is.
63
00:02:33,364 --> 00:02:35,197
You thinking
what I'm thinking, Snot?
64
00:02:35,199 --> 00:02:37,833
We visit him in juvenile hall
every month until he gets out
65
00:02:37,835 --> 00:02:39,601
and then we all move in
together?
66
00:02:39,603 --> 00:02:41,837
No! We take karate
at his dojo!
67
00:02:41,839 --> 00:02:44,940
Which we can use to break
Martin out of juvie!
68
00:02:44,942 --> 00:02:46,608
Brilliant!
No, Snot.
69
00:02:46,610 --> 00:02:49,545
I kind of just thought
we'd do this new thing.
70
00:02:49,547 --> 00:02:51,647
Forget Martin.
[ Gasps loudly ]
71
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:54,349
Did I like Martin
more than you did?!
72
00:02:54,351 --> 00:02:56,752
[ Gong sounds ]
73
00:02:56,754 --> 00:02:59,421
Punch! Punch! Ai-ya!
74
00:02:59,423 --> 00:03:00,422
All: Ai-ya!
75
00:03:00,424 --> 00:03:01,490
Harder!
Ai-ya!
76
00:03:01,492 --> 00:03:02,624
Angrier!
Ai-ya!
77
00:03:02,626 --> 00:03:04,393
Destroy your opponent!
Ai-ya!
78
00:03:04,395 --> 00:03:06,495
[ Bell jingles ]
79
00:03:06,497 --> 00:03:09,498
I'm Sensei Tom.
Welcome to Dojo Biden.
80
00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:10,966
You must be Snot and Steve.
81
00:03:10,968 --> 00:03:12,467
Oh, my God.
He's telepathic!
82
00:03:12,469 --> 00:03:14,403
No. Martin used
his one call from juvie
83
00:03:14,405 --> 00:03:15,838
to let me know you'd be coming.
84
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,439
He has a weird family situation.
85
00:03:17,441 --> 00:03:18,974
I'd adopt him,
but the state won't let me
86
00:03:18,976 --> 00:03:20,509
because I've never looked
into it
87
00:03:20,511 --> 00:03:21,844
and I can't be bothered.
88
00:03:24,630 --> 00:03:25,665
Listen, students.
89
00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:28,088
At Dojo Biden,
we care about two things --
90
00:03:28,090 --> 00:03:31,424
the centuries-old
art of karate...
91
00:03:31,426 --> 00:03:34,361
and current two-term
vice president Joe Biden.
92
00:03:34,363 --> 00:03:36,463
[ Train horn blares ]
93
00:03:36,465 --> 00:03:38,799
Let's see what you two
are capable of.
94
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:40,734
You! Glasses!
Throw a punch.
95
00:03:40,736 --> 00:03:42,102
Ai-ya-a-a...
96
00:03:42,104 --> 00:03:44,204
So, capable of nothing.
97
00:03:44,206 --> 00:03:45,305
Okay, you.
98
00:03:46,274 --> 00:03:47,541
That was pathetic!
99
00:03:47,543 --> 00:03:48,775
You're never gonna
learn to fight
100
00:03:48,777 --> 00:03:50,777
unless you tap
into the anger inside you.
101
00:03:50,779 --> 00:03:53,146
What makes you angry?
102
00:03:53,148 --> 00:03:54,848
I don't know.
Everyone has anger.
103
00:03:54,850 --> 00:03:56,616
Erik over there has rich parents
104
00:03:56,618 --> 00:03:58,585
and feels guilty
about being white.
105
00:03:58,587 --> 00:04:00,554
Marcia over there gets her anger
106
00:04:00,556 --> 00:04:01,888
from her varicose veins.
107
00:04:01,890 --> 00:04:04,324
She's only 14,
and those never go away!
108
00:04:04,326 --> 00:04:07,394
So, I'll ask you again.
What makes you angry, son?
109
00:04:07,396 --> 00:04:09,229
Don't call me "son"!
110
00:04:09,231 --> 00:04:10,897
There it is.
111
00:04:10,899 --> 00:04:12,833
You don't like
when I call you "son."
112
00:04:12,835 --> 00:04:14,501
Dead dad, huh?
113
00:04:14,503 --> 00:04:15,502
Yes!
114
00:04:15,504 --> 00:04:17,704
Then use that and punch.
115
00:04:17,706 --> 00:04:19,406
Unh!
Better!
116
00:04:19,408 --> 00:04:21,541
And you must hate that
weak excuse for a mustache.
117
00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:22,909
Ai-ya!
118
00:04:22,911 --> 00:04:24,578
And I bet you're poor.
119
00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:26,346
Lucky.
120
00:04:26,348 --> 00:04:27,380
Show me how angry you are.
121
00:04:27,382 --> 00:04:28,515
Punch this board!
122
00:04:28,517 --> 00:04:30,784
Aiiii-ya!
123
00:04:30,786 --> 00:04:32,352
I can definitely work with you.
124
00:04:32,354 --> 00:04:33,887
But you're gonna have to
replace this board.
125
00:04:33,889 --> 00:04:35,522
It's my seasoning shelf.
126
00:04:35,524 --> 00:04:38,225
Now, my spices are
on my nunchuk rack.
127
00:04:38,227 --> 00:04:40,493
I don't even know
where my nunchuks are.
128
00:04:40,495 --> 00:04:43,430
Let's just say I'm not ready
to have guests.
129
00:04:43,432 --> 00:04:45,799
[ Birds chirping ]
130
00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:49,436
Ooh! Yahtzee!
On my first turn!
131
00:04:49,438 --> 00:04:50,637
Here, you go.
132
00:04:52,406 --> 00:04:54,307
And now we wait.
133
00:04:54,309 --> 00:04:55,909
[ Door opens ]
134
00:04:55,911 --> 00:04:59,179
See, Francine, this is why
I can't go pi?ata shopping.
135
00:04:59,181 --> 00:05:01,248
I just want to rescue them all.
136
00:05:01,250 --> 00:05:02,315
Wait. What's that smell?
137
00:05:02,317 --> 00:05:03,683
It smells terrible.
138
00:05:03,685 --> 00:05:06,519
Oh, Hayley, are you back
to homeopathic deodorant?
139
00:05:06,521 --> 00:05:07,654
It's not me.
140
00:05:07,656 --> 00:05:09,289
I haven't broken a sweat
in a year.
141
00:05:09,291 --> 00:05:10,357
[ All sniffing ]
142
00:05:10,359 --> 00:05:11,758
What do you think it is?
143
00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,427
Oh, I can't wait
to find out what it is.
144
00:05:14,429 --> 00:05:16,596
It's a mystery.
Did you find it?
145
00:05:16,598 --> 00:05:19,299
Oh, it's me, isn't it?
146
00:05:19,301 --> 00:05:21,835
Klaus, you're
an outside fish now.
147
00:05:21,837 --> 00:05:24,471
Not cool, bro!
I'm a fish!
148
00:05:24,473 --> 00:05:26,873
Sometimes I smell fishy!
149
00:05:26,875 --> 00:05:28,375
Ooh! Yahtzee!
150
00:05:28,377 --> 00:05:30,844
Uhp, nope.
Read it wrong.
151
00:05:30,846 --> 00:05:32,545
This is nothing.
152
00:05:32,547 --> 00:05:34,547
[ Gong sounds ]
153
00:05:34,549 --> 00:05:36,816
I feel badass.
154
00:05:36,818 --> 00:05:38,485
Yeah, this feels
more serious now
155
00:05:38,487 --> 00:05:39,920
that we're wearing
these bathrobes.
156
00:05:39,922 --> 00:05:41,755
Enough chitchat.
157
00:05:41,757 --> 00:05:43,456
Now make like a woman whose
neighbor has a pet chimpanzee
158
00:05:43,458 --> 00:05:44,624
and face off!
159
00:05:44,626 --> 00:05:46,760
Ai-ya!
160
00:05:46,762 --> 00:05:48,828
Um, Mr. Sensei Tom,
are you sure
161
00:05:48,830 --> 00:05:50,897
you want us fighting this soon?
162
00:05:50,899 --> 00:05:52,532
We haven't been taught
any moves yet.
163
00:05:52,534 --> 00:05:54,868
Punch!
Aah!
164
00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:56,870
My shoulder!
What did you do that?!
165
00:05:56,872 --> 00:05:58,538
Steve, I'm so sorry.
166
00:05:58,540 --> 00:05:59,940
Don't apologize.
167
00:05:59,942 --> 00:06:01,841
Your dad didn't apologize
for dying.
168
00:06:01,843 --> 00:06:05,245
Your jacket didn't apologize
for not having sleeves.
169
00:06:05,247 --> 00:06:06,346
Use your anger!
170
00:06:06,348 --> 00:06:08,381
Attack! Attack!
Ai-ya!
171
00:06:08,383 --> 00:06:10,850
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!
Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
172
00:06:10,852 --> 00:06:11,918
[ Pants ]
173
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,353
Ai-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya!
174
00:06:13,355 --> 00:06:14,587
Aah! Aah! Aaaaaaah!
175
00:06:14,589 --> 00:06:15,922
[ Bell jingles ]
176
00:06:15,924 --> 00:06:19,492
[ Breathing heavily ]
177
00:06:19,494 --> 00:06:21,928
Aaaaaaaaaah!
178
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:23,630
Whoa.
179
00:06:23,632 --> 00:06:24,798
Congratulations.
180
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,599
You've unlocked your anger.
181
00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:27,767
You're one of us now.
182
00:06:27,769 --> 00:06:30,337
In the words
of Vice President Joe Biden,
183
00:06:30,339 --> 00:06:33,573
"You do not have permission
to use my name on your dojo."
184
00:06:33,865 --> 00:06:35,608
[ Gong sounds ]
185
00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:37,510
All: [ Chanting ]
Sleeveless! Sleeveless!
186
00:06:37,512 --> 00:06:39,746
Sleeveless! Sleeveless!
187
00:06:39,748 --> 00:06:42,282
Aaaaaaaaaah!
188
00:06:42,284 --> 00:06:44,985
[ Breathing heavily ]
189
00:06:44,987 --> 00:06:47,721
Aaaaaaaaaah!
190
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:52,366
Things got pretty crazy
yesterday, huh?
191
00:06:52,486 --> 00:06:54,503
I just had to jog home
192
00:06:54,505 --> 00:06:56,471
'cause I was so pumped up
from all the karate.
193
00:06:56,473 --> 00:06:58,073
Sure.
194
00:06:58,075 --> 00:07:01,143
Also, I'm kind of thinking
karate's not for us.
195
00:07:01,145 --> 00:07:02,411
Let's just go back
196
00:07:02,413 --> 00:07:04,446
to the Steve and Snot
we know and love --
197
00:07:04,448 --> 00:07:05,947
cowering from bullies,
198
00:07:05,949 --> 00:07:08,383
wearing shoes in places
where they serve food.
199
00:07:08,385 --> 00:07:10,118
Snot, w-where you going?
200
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,688
Oh, I'm gonna go sit
with my karate friends.
201
00:07:12,690 --> 00:07:14,122
They get me.
202
00:07:14,124 --> 00:07:16,191
And they don't put up
with bullies.
203
00:07:16,193 --> 00:07:17,592
Plus they like it
204
00:07:17,594 --> 00:07:19,761
when I lose control
of my bottled-up anger.
205
00:07:19,763 --> 00:07:22,097
I thought we agreed
karate's not for us!
206
00:07:22,099 --> 00:07:23,932
You agreed with you, Steve.
207
00:07:23,934 --> 00:07:26,168
You agreed.
208
00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:28,537
Yo, Sleeveless, what's up?
209
00:07:28,539 --> 00:07:31,106
Whoa. That guy
accidentally bumped you.
210
00:07:31,108 --> 00:07:32,307
You gonna let him
211
00:07:32,309 --> 00:07:33,375
accidentally get away with that?
212
00:07:33,377 --> 00:07:35,177
Unleash your anger.
213
00:07:35,179 --> 00:07:36,511
[ Laughter ]
214
00:07:36,513 --> 00:07:38,313
Let him go, Steve.
215
00:07:38,315 --> 00:07:41,216
Snot's in an action movie now.
216
00:07:41,218 --> 00:07:43,351
Hour 36.
217
00:07:43,353 --> 00:07:46,388
The sun seems like
it comes every day now.
218
00:07:46,390 --> 00:07:47,522
[ Cat meows ]
219
00:07:47,524 --> 00:07:49,324
[ Gasps ]
The cat's back!
220
00:07:52,628 --> 00:07:55,230
What's the matter?
Kitty can't swim?
221
00:07:55,232 --> 00:07:57,666
Welcome to the water
jungle, baby.
222
00:07:57,668 --> 00:08:01,603
You can never get to me.
No one can get to me!
223
00:08:01,605 --> 00:08:02,738
[ Bird cawing ]
224
00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:06,074
No, no!
It never ends!
225
00:08:06,076 --> 00:08:09,010
Okay. I'm starting
to get the hang of this.
226
00:08:09,012 --> 00:08:11,980
I just have to stay one step
ahead of them.
227
00:08:11,982 --> 00:08:13,215
[ Gasps ] Oh, no!
228
00:08:16,753 --> 00:08:18,587
They're teaming up.
229
00:08:18,589 --> 00:08:21,022
[ Gasps ] A lizard!
230
00:08:21,024 --> 00:08:23,091
Wait.
Do lizards eat fish?
231
00:08:24,193 --> 00:08:27,662
He just wants to try it!
See if he likes it!
232
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:33,802
This bathroom pass is fake.
233
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:37,038
Yeah. I'm still gonna go
to the bathroom.
234
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,308
Well, go to class after that.
235
00:08:42,779 --> 00:08:44,813
Snot, what are you doing here?
236
00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,315
This seat's for bad boys.
We're good boys.
237
00:08:47,317 --> 00:08:49,384
I got caught fighting
twice today.
238
00:08:49,386 --> 00:08:51,319
Snot, w-where is this
coming from?
239
00:08:51,321 --> 00:08:53,421
I feel like Sensei Tom
is turning you
240
00:08:53,423 --> 00:08:55,690
into something you're not --
an angry person.
241
00:08:55,692 --> 00:08:57,759
You walk around
looking like Tommy Lee Jones
242
00:08:57,761 --> 00:08:59,127
all the time now.
243
00:08:59,129 --> 00:09:00,328
I've always been angry.
244
00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:02,197
Sensei Tom understands that,
245
00:09:02,199 --> 00:09:04,065
and he's teaching me to use it.
246
00:09:04,067 --> 00:09:06,468
Lonstein,
you can't come in the office
247
00:09:06,470 --> 00:09:08,770
because Marissa Stevens' mom
is here.
248
00:09:08,772 --> 00:09:10,505
So listen, we have
a three-strike policy
249
00:09:10,507 --> 00:09:12,140
on fighting.
250
00:09:12,142 --> 00:09:14,810
You've got two.
One more and you're expelled.
251
00:09:14,812 --> 00:09:17,212
Feel me?
Now, if you'll excuse me,
252
00:09:17,214 --> 00:09:20,448
I have to go ensure that
Marissa Stevens gets an "A"
253
00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:22,117
by giving her mom a "D."
254
00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:26,421
[ Gong sounds ]
255
00:09:26,423 --> 00:09:27,622
Ai-ya!
256
00:09:29,325 --> 00:09:31,827
Uh, is it a bad time
to talk about Snot?
257
00:09:31,829 --> 00:09:34,162
His warrior name is Sleeveless.
258
00:09:34,164 --> 00:09:35,463
Okay, well, Sleeveless
259
00:09:35,465 --> 00:09:37,165
is getting in a lot
of trouble at school,
260
00:09:37,167 --> 00:09:39,234
and for some reason,
he listens to you.
261
00:09:39,236 --> 00:09:40,569
So, uh, maybe you could tell him
262
00:09:40,571 --> 00:09:42,237
that everything
you're teaching him
263
00:09:42,239 --> 00:09:43,872
is wrong and horrible
before he gets kicked out.
264
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:45,574
School's not for everyone.
265
00:09:45,576 --> 00:09:48,109
You know who said that?
Joe Biden.
266
00:09:48,111 --> 00:09:49,578
I don't think he said that.
267
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:51,079
He has said those words.
268
00:09:51,081 --> 00:09:53,582
Maybe not in that order,
but he has said them.
269
00:09:53,584 --> 00:09:55,684
Now, let me tell you a story
about a young kid
270
00:09:55,686 --> 00:09:58,320
who was angry at the world
and got kicked out of school.
271
00:09:58,322 --> 00:10:00,322
It was me.
272
00:10:00,324 --> 00:10:01,756
And now look where I am.
273
00:10:01,758 --> 00:10:05,560
I lease a dojo.
I sleep in a dojo.
274
00:10:05,562 --> 00:10:07,662
I do my cooking and laundry
in a dojo.
275
00:10:07,664 --> 00:10:10,198
And none of that would
have been possible --
276
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,700
Wonderful. All right.
277
00:10:11,702 --> 00:10:13,602
I'm gonna speak a language
everyone understands.
278
00:10:13,604 --> 00:10:17,405
This is $12, which I have
a feeling you could use.
279
00:10:17,407 --> 00:10:20,408
The money is yours
if you let Snot go.
280
00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:24,346
Look, I'm not gonna lie.
I could use this $12.
281
00:10:24,348 --> 00:10:27,249
Settle down with
a nice ham sandwich.
282
00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:28,917
But you can't put a price
on anger.
283
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:30,552
And that's what Sleeveless has.
284
00:10:30,554 --> 00:10:32,354
If you want your friend back,
285
00:10:32,356 --> 00:10:34,723
beat him in the upcoming
karate tournament.
286
00:10:34,725 --> 00:10:36,691
If I beat him, he's free?
287
00:10:36,693 --> 00:10:39,494
Is that some sort
of ancient karate code?
288
00:10:39,496 --> 00:10:42,163
No. If you beat him,
he'll be a loser,
289
00:10:42,165 --> 00:10:43,498
and I don't work with losers.
290
00:10:43,500 --> 00:10:47,402
Now, what else can I do
to earn that $12?
291
00:10:47,404 --> 00:10:49,804
[ Birds chirping ]
292
00:10:49,806 --> 00:10:51,473
Hey, dad.
293
00:10:51,475 --> 00:10:53,708
I know you took martial arts
in your C.I.A. training,
294
00:10:53,710 --> 00:10:55,777
and I was wondering
if you could teach me some.
295
00:10:55,779 --> 00:10:57,345
I have to beat Snot
in a karate tournament
296
00:10:57,347 --> 00:10:58,880
so I can save our friendship.
297
00:10:58,882 --> 00:11:02,884
There is only one thing
you need to know about karate.
298
00:11:02,886 --> 00:11:05,420
Guns beat karate every time.
299
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:09,424
Good rap sesh, son.
300
00:11:09,426 --> 00:11:10,959
[ Garage door whirs ]
301
00:11:14,196 --> 00:11:17,198
I hear you're seeking
martial arts instruction.
302
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,367
Perhaps I can show you the way.
303
00:11:19,369 --> 00:11:20,769
Shouldn't you have an accent?
304
00:11:20,771 --> 00:11:22,938
Uh, I moved here when I was 2.
305
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:25,273
Lesson one --
open your mind.
306
00:11:25,275 --> 00:11:26,308
[ Doorbell rings ]
307
00:11:26,310 --> 00:11:27,609
Heads up, Francine.
308
00:11:27,611 --> 00:11:29,878
I ignored our talk
and gave Steve a gun.
309
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,249
Delivery for...the Smiths?
310
00:11:34,251 --> 00:11:35,617
Well, I didn't order anything.
311
00:11:35,619 --> 00:11:37,385
Maybe it's something
Francine ordered.
312
00:11:37,387 --> 00:11:39,421
Or Hayley.
Or Steve or Roger.
313
00:11:39,423 --> 00:11:40,655
There are a lot of people
with that last name
314
00:11:40,657 --> 00:11:41,756
in this house.
315
00:11:41,758 --> 00:11:43,658
Also could be a gift
from someone.
316
00:11:43,660 --> 00:11:45,927
Maybe bullock or one
of Francine's friends.
317
00:11:45,929 --> 00:11:47,429
Or a friend of Hayley's.
318
00:11:47,431 --> 00:11:49,631
Yep, the Smiths have
a lot of friends.
319
00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:50,966
Fun tidbit --
did you know
320
00:11:50,968 --> 00:11:52,834
that Dupont is like
the French Smith?
321
00:11:52,836 --> 00:11:54,436
Hey, French Smith!
Remember him?
322
00:11:54,438 --> 00:11:55,704
Do you mean French Stewart?
323
00:11:55,706 --> 00:11:56,871
Sure, whatever.
I'll sign.
324
00:12:00,409 --> 00:12:02,010
It's working.
325
00:12:02,012 --> 00:12:03,678
Well, I'll just leave this here.
326
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,580
You've done it, Klaus.
327
00:12:05,582 --> 00:12:08,583
You're once again
an inside fish.
328
00:12:08,585 --> 00:12:09,651
Ha ha!
329
00:12:09,653 --> 00:12:11,319
Outside fish, Klaus.
330
00:12:11,321 --> 00:12:14,389
No! No, please!
The cats and the birds!
331
00:12:14,391 --> 00:12:15,557
[ Birds chirping, cat meows ]
332
00:12:17,660 --> 00:12:19,060
[ Bird chirping, bottles clinking ]
333
00:12:19,230 --> 00:12:22,137
_
334
00:12:27,003 --> 00:12:29,637
Sensei Tom is teaching Snot
to fight with anger,
335
00:12:29,639 --> 00:12:31,473
so I need help harnessing mine.
336
00:12:31,475 --> 00:12:33,341
[ Chuckles ]
Sensei Tom.
337
00:12:33,343 --> 00:12:35,643
Did you know he lives
in his dojo?
338
00:12:35,645 --> 00:12:38,013
Well, you technically
live in yours.
339
00:12:38,015 --> 00:12:40,715
Lesson two -- don't worry
about where I live.
340
00:12:40,717 --> 00:12:42,684
You're not an angry boy, Steve,
341
00:12:42,686 --> 00:12:43,918
so there's nothing to harness.
342
00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:45,653
But that's okay,
343
00:12:45,655 --> 00:12:47,689
because people who fight
with anger are sloppy.
344
00:12:47,691 --> 00:12:51,426
You're gonna fight with cold,
calculating technique.
345
00:12:51,428 --> 00:12:52,894
[ Rock music playing ]
346
00:12:52,896 --> 00:12:55,897
Living with my eyes closed
347
00:12:55,899 --> 00:12:58,933
going day to day
348
00:12:58,935 --> 00:13:01,936
I never knew the difference
349
00:13:01,938 --> 00:13:05,874
I never cared either way
350
00:13:05,876 --> 00:13:07,909
all fired up
351
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,779
all fired up
352
00:13:11,914 --> 00:13:13,948
all fired up
353
00:13:15,484 --> 00:13:19,587
all fired up, fired up,
fired up, hey!
354
00:13:19,589 --> 00:13:21,469
You're ready.
Now make me four more.
355
00:13:21,589 --> 00:13:23,231
But the tournament is
in 20 minutes.
356
00:13:23,488 --> 00:13:25,889
Don't worry about time.
Let me worry about time.
357
00:13:25,891 --> 00:13:28,224
Shit! Shit! Damn it!
We're so [bleep] late!
358
00:13:28,226 --> 00:13:30,002
[ Indistinct conversations ]
359
00:13:31,886 --> 00:13:32,829
Roger, I'm nervous.
360
00:13:32,831 --> 00:13:34,831
Don't worry. You've trained.
You've prepared.
361
00:13:34,833 --> 00:13:36,399
Nothing can stop you, unless...
362
00:13:36,401 --> 00:13:39,235
Oh, no. Oh, God, no!
What?!
363
00:13:39,237 --> 00:13:40,804
That guy has a better goatee
than me!
364
00:13:40,806 --> 00:13:42,138
Excuse me.
365
00:13:42,396 --> 00:13:43,495
Steve, what are you doing here?
366
00:13:43,497 --> 00:13:45,330
I thought you quit karate.
367
00:13:45,332 --> 00:13:48,067
No. I'm gonna kick your ass
so we can be friends again.
368
00:13:48,069 --> 00:13:50,703
It doesn't sound like a good
plan when I say it out loud,
369
00:13:50,705 --> 00:13:52,037
but trust me,
I thought it through.
370
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,540
Okay, goatee disaster averted.
371
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,341
See you in the finals.
372
00:13:56,343 --> 00:13:58,711
No. I'll see you
in the finals.
373
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:02,081
Man: Now announcingthe first round draw,
374
00:14:02,083 --> 00:14:05,084
Steve Smithversus Snot Lonstein.
375
00:14:05,086 --> 00:14:09,021
So, I guess I'll see you
in the first round.
376
00:14:09,023 --> 00:14:12,024
The all-important first round
it is.
377
00:14:12,026 --> 00:14:14,259
Sleeveless! It's time.
378
00:14:14,261 --> 00:14:17,663
Well, well.
Sensei Tom.
379
00:14:17,665 --> 00:14:20,199
Sensei Ryan?
I thought you were dead.
380
00:14:20,201 --> 00:14:21,767
You wish I was dead!
381
00:14:21,769 --> 00:14:23,669
'Cause then
you wouldn't owe me $15
382
00:14:23,671 --> 00:14:25,170
from our last cable bill!
383
00:14:25,172 --> 00:14:27,239
I told you that
I wouldn't pay for HBO!
384
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,340
I don't watch it!
385
00:14:28,342 --> 00:14:30,109
I said that the day we moved in!
386
00:14:30,111 --> 00:14:31,610
You do watch it, and I know
387
00:14:31,612 --> 00:14:33,612
you're still using
my HBO Go password.
388
00:14:33,614 --> 00:14:35,814
"Water for Elephants" was
on my "Recently Watched,"
389
00:14:35,816 --> 00:14:37,483
and I didn't watch it.
390
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:39,985
I saw it in the theater
like it's supposed to be seen!
391
00:14:43,861 --> 00:14:45,827
Man: Now, welcometo the fifth annual
392
00:14:45,947 --> 00:14:49,399
Langley Falls Karate Tournament.
393
00:14:49,401 --> 00:14:51,000
And guess what?
394
00:14:51,002 --> 00:14:54,003
We're only starting 20 minutesbehind schedule!
395
00:14:54,005 --> 00:14:56,639
Steve, if you get in trouble
out there, kiss him.
396
00:14:56,641 --> 00:14:58,141
It'll throw him off his game.
397
00:14:58,143 --> 00:15:00,076
And if things get really hairy,
398
00:15:00,078 --> 00:15:02,612
just give him a tap
on the ol' starfish.
399
00:15:02,614 --> 00:15:04,113
I don't know what that means.
400
00:15:04,115 --> 00:15:05,882
He'll like it.
Now get out there!
401
00:15:05,884 --> 00:15:09,986
Prepare to go down.
402
00:15:09,988 --> 00:15:11,554
Wow.
I really feel your anger.
403
00:15:11,556 --> 00:15:13,456
[ Knuckles cracking ]
It'll be easy to counter
404
00:15:13,458 --> 00:15:14,924
with my cold,
calculating precision.
405
00:15:14,926 --> 00:15:16,693
My sensei made me a master
406
00:15:16,695 --> 00:15:19,162
using a variety
of unorthodox methods.
407
00:15:19,164 --> 00:15:22,165
I warn you, Snot.
I've been brushing wigs.
408
00:15:22,167 --> 00:15:23,566
Fight!
409
00:15:23,568 --> 00:15:25,034
Brush, brush.
410
00:15:25,036 --> 00:15:26,569
Ai-ya!
Aah!
411
00:15:26,571 --> 00:15:27,570
Destroy him!
412
00:15:27,572 --> 00:15:29,672
Ai-ya!
413
00:15:29,674 --> 00:15:30,707
Ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-
ya-ya-ya-ya!
414
00:15:30,709 --> 00:15:32,041
Ow! Ow!
415
00:15:32,043 --> 00:15:34,143
Aah! Oh! Oh!
416
00:15:34,145 --> 00:15:36,112
Sensei, what do I do?!
417
00:15:36,114 --> 00:15:38,214
Roger: Starfish!
Oh!
418
00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:41,551
This kid's obviously better.
419
00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:47,457
Hey, Sensei Ryan, nice disciple.
420
00:15:47,459 --> 00:15:48,958
Shut up!
He came to me.
421
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,460
I didn't choose him.
422
00:15:50,462 --> 00:15:52,662
But you chose to see
"Water for Elephants"
423
00:15:52,664 --> 00:15:53,796
on a small screen.
424
00:15:53,798 --> 00:15:55,164
You're still the tool here.
425
00:15:55,166 --> 00:15:59,168
I'm sorry, sensei.
I failed you.
426
00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:00,703
No, Steve.
It's my fault.
427
00:16:00,705 --> 00:16:02,538
Instead of teaching you karate,
428
00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:05,008
I had you make me a Martini
and give me a massage.
429
00:16:05,010 --> 00:16:07,043
Roger, I thought those
were all skills
430
00:16:07,045 --> 00:16:08,511
that translate to karate.
431
00:16:08,513 --> 00:16:10,113
Really?! You did?!
432
00:16:10,115 --> 00:16:13,516
Steve, you make
these wild leaps.
433
00:16:13,518 --> 00:16:15,785
Now, leaps -- now, that would
have been great for karate.
434
00:16:15,787 --> 00:16:18,221
[ Birds chirping ]
435
00:16:18,223 --> 00:16:20,223
You know what's weird?
436
00:16:20,225 --> 00:16:23,593
Even though Klaus has been gone
for a while, I still smell him.
437
00:16:23,595 --> 00:16:24,727
I smell it, too.
438
00:16:24,729 --> 00:16:26,930
[ All sniffing ]
439
00:16:26,932 --> 00:16:29,265
Yes. Yes.
440
00:16:29,267 --> 00:16:33,069
Smell it.
Smell all of me.
441
00:16:33,071 --> 00:16:34,170
It's getting stronger!
442
00:16:34,172 --> 00:16:35,638
[ Gags ]
443
00:16:37,174 --> 00:16:39,208
[ All breathing heavily ]
444
00:16:39,210 --> 00:16:41,177
Klaus: Congratulations.
445
00:16:41,179 --> 00:16:44,781
You're outside people now.
446
00:16:44,783 --> 00:16:46,549
[ Laughs ]
447
00:16:46,551 --> 00:16:48,718
[ Cats meowing ]
448
00:16:52,156 --> 00:16:54,891
There are an awful lot of cats
back here.
449
00:16:54,893 --> 00:16:56,059
[ Clears throat ]
450
00:16:56,061 --> 00:16:57,193
And -- and birds.
451
00:16:57,195 --> 00:16:58,828
I-I was getting to you.
452
00:17:01,098 --> 00:17:05,568
Don't worry, guys.
I'll be fine.
453
00:17:05,570 --> 00:17:06,636
Meow.
454
00:17:06,638 --> 00:17:09,038
[ School bell rings ]
455
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,007
I saved a seat for Snot.
456
00:17:11,009 --> 00:17:14,777
You can release it
to the general population.
457
00:17:14,779 --> 00:17:16,045
We've lost him.
458
00:17:16,047 --> 00:17:17,647
I've lost him.
Whoa!
459
00:17:17,649 --> 00:17:19,682
Snot's about to beat
somebody up in the quad!
460
00:17:19,684 --> 00:17:21,918
By the bike racks!
In the northwest corner!
461
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,620
Right by the bike that belonged
to that kid who died
462
00:17:24,622 --> 00:17:26,823
and now serves as a grim
reminder of his passing!
463
00:17:26,825 --> 00:17:28,224
Some say if you feel
a cool breeze,
464
00:17:28,226 --> 00:17:29,726
it's him whistling,
but it's not true!
465
00:17:29,728 --> 00:17:31,627
When your body dies,
your soul dies with it!
466
00:17:31,629 --> 00:17:33,963
Anyway, if you hit the library,
you've gone too far!
467
00:17:36,734 --> 00:17:38,634
Oh, no.
If he gets in one more fight,
468
00:17:38,636 --> 00:17:40,336
he's gonna get kicked
out of school!
469
00:17:40,338 --> 00:17:43,706
Which means it's our last chance
to see him in action!
470
00:17:43,708 --> 00:17:46,342
No, it means we have
to stop him! Let's go!
471
00:17:47,144 --> 00:17:48,644
[ Mortal Kombat voice ]
Finish it.
472
00:17:48,646 --> 00:17:49,679
What?
473
00:17:49,681 --> 00:17:51,280
Finish it!
474
00:17:53,017 --> 00:17:56,686
It's weird that you care
about this.
475
00:17:58,956 --> 00:18:00,390
[ Indistinct conversations ]
476
00:18:00,392 --> 00:18:02,325
Snot, wait!
You can't do this!
477
00:18:02,327 --> 00:18:04,794
You're gonna get kicked
out of school!
478
00:18:04,796 --> 00:18:06,929
Sensei Tom says
I don't need school.
479
00:18:06,931 --> 00:18:08,197
Sensei Tom's a loser.
480
00:18:08,199 --> 00:18:09,932
He lives above his dojo
481
00:18:09,934 --> 00:18:12,935
and steals his wi-fi
from the H&R block next door.
482
00:18:12,937 --> 00:18:15,705
Look, I tried to save you
by fighting you,
483
00:18:15,707 --> 00:18:17,106
but I'm not a fighter.
484
00:18:17,108 --> 00:18:20,009
So I'm gonna save you
with love, not anger.
485
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:21,177
Eh!
486
00:18:21,179 --> 00:18:22,812
Steve, what are you doing?!
487
00:18:22,814 --> 00:18:24,981
I'm showing you
I love you, Snot!
488
00:18:24,983 --> 00:18:26,816
And you have two strikes!
489
00:18:26,818 --> 00:18:29,052
I'm taking this strike for you!
490
00:18:29,054 --> 00:18:30,386
Ah! Ow!
491
00:18:30,388 --> 00:18:33,189
But you're not a bad boy, Steve!
492
00:18:33,191 --> 00:18:35,491
Neither are you!
493
00:18:35,493 --> 00:18:38,728
This all started 'cause
you didn't want to be bullied,
494
00:18:38,730 --> 00:18:40,096
and now you're doing it!
495
00:18:40,098 --> 00:18:42,265
Sure, you've got a lot
to be angry about,
496
00:18:42,267 --> 00:18:44,767
b-but you've also got
a lot to be happy about.
497
00:18:44,769 --> 00:18:46,302
Ooh!
498
00:18:46,304 --> 00:18:47,837
[ Straining ] Like your friends
that care about you.
499
00:18:47,839 --> 00:18:50,106
[ Punches landing ]
Aah! Ow!
500
00:18:50,108 --> 00:18:53,876
Remember when you and I had
lunch together that one time?
501
00:18:56,780 --> 00:19:00,316
Please let me know as soon
as I've gotten through to you.
502
00:19:00,318 --> 00:19:01,984
Because I've reached a point
503
00:19:01,986 --> 00:19:03,886
where even the NFL
wouldn't clear me to play.
504
00:19:03,888 --> 00:19:05,721
"American Dad!" stands with
505
00:19:05,723 --> 00:19:08,958
the National Football LeaguePlayers Association.
506
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,860
Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight!
507
00:19:10,862 --> 00:19:12,929
I mean, break it up, kids.
508
00:19:12,931 --> 00:19:16,666
Steve, that's strike one,
and you don't get a second.
509
00:19:16,668 --> 00:19:18,067
No, wait.
You get three.
510
00:19:18,069 --> 00:19:20,837
You hear that, everybody?
You get two free fights!
511
00:19:20,839 --> 00:19:22,171
I expect you to use them!
512
00:19:22,173 --> 00:19:24,173
Thanks, Steve.
513
00:19:24,175 --> 00:19:28,244
Your love made me realize
that anger isn't all I am.
514
00:19:28,246 --> 00:19:30,713
And instead
of using my anger to fight,
515
00:19:30,715 --> 00:19:33,049
I should bottle it up
and only let it out
516
00:19:33,051 --> 00:19:35,017
when I can no longer control it.
517
00:19:35,019 --> 00:19:40,223
Maybe in, like, 20 years,
quietly, victim by victim.
518
00:19:41,992 --> 00:19:45,761
You're gonna be in therapy
for a long time, buddy.
519
00:19:50,334 --> 00:19:52,969
Klaus: Stan, you're never
getting back in!
520
00:19:52,971 --> 00:19:56,038
I've got a delivery
for Klaus Heissler.
521
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,141
Ooh. Hello.
522
00:19:58,143 --> 00:20:00,376
I wonder what it is.
523
00:20:00,378 --> 00:20:01,911
Oh, it's big.
524
00:20:01,913 --> 00:20:03,312
It's so big!
525
00:20:03,314 --> 00:20:04,914
And it's all for me!
526
00:20:04,916 --> 00:20:08,184
Uh, what could it be?
Maybe a giant aquarium?
527
00:20:08,186 --> 00:20:11,220
Maybe it's a lifetime supply
of fish food.
528
00:20:11,222 --> 00:20:14,190
Or maybe it's Stan,
Francine, and Hayley.
529
00:20:14,192 --> 00:20:15,958
[ Chuckles ]
All right, guys.
530
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,194
Truce.
Welcome home.
531
00:20:20,397 --> 00:20:22,265
[ Box thuds ]
532
00:20:29,506 --> 00:20:31,340
He's opening it.
It's working!
533
00:20:31,342 --> 00:20:35,211
Klaus: Oh, no!
Not the kitties and the birdies!
534
00:20:35,213 --> 00:20:36,779
Aaah!
No! No, no, no!
535
00:20:36,781 --> 00:20:38,814
[ Birds chirping, cats yowling ]
Oh! Aah! Ouch!
536
00:20:38,816 --> 00:20:40,216
Once they've taken care
of Klaus,
537
00:20:40,218 --> 00:20:42,118
the house will be ours again.
538
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,519
No! Aah!
539
00:20:43,521 --> 00:20:45,154
[ Silence ]
540
00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:49,192
I killed them.
I killed them all!
541
00:20:49,194 --> 00:20:51,194
Do you hear that, Stan?!
542
00:20:51,196 --> 00:20:54,597
Ha! Nice try!
543
00:20:54,717 --> 00:20:59,669
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
544
00:20:59,719 --> 00:21:04,269
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38286
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