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1
00:00:07,358 --> 00:00:18,255
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:19,809 --> 00:00:23,178
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
3
00:00:23,212 --> 00:00:25,180
Good...
Good morning, USA
4
00:00:25,214 --> 00:00:26,748
Aah!
5
00:00:28,017 --> 00:00:30,868
Good morning, USA!
6
00:00:33,518 --> 00:00:35,957
Well, thank God that
crazy mix-up is over.
7
00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:38,060
We've got Steve back,
8
00:00:38,094 --> 00:00:39,756
and you've got your
boy-shaped ruby.
9
00:00:40,044 --> 00:00:42,412
Well, I guess this is good-bye,
Smiths.
10
00:00:42,532 --> 00:00:45,233
But, seriously,
if you're ever in Teheran...
11
00:00:45,353 --> 00:00:47,235
stay out of Teheran!
12
00:00:47,270 --> 00:00:49,337
(laughter)
13
00:00:54,410 --> 00:00:56,712
(engine revving,
tires squealing)
14
00:00:56,746 --> 00:00:59,581
Now that that's all done,
I'll get breakfast started.
15
00:00:59,615 --> 00:01:00,824
(sighs)
16
00:01:00,950 --> 00:01:03,819
I don't know why I even bother
to set a place for Hayley.
17
00:01:03,853 --> 00:01:07,055
She's been so depressed, she
hasn't left her room in weeks.
18
00:01:07,090 --> 00:01:09,124
Guess what happened
one year ago today?
19
00:01:09,158 --> 00:01:11,960
Is that the day I gave myself
one year to find happiness,
20
00:01:11,995 --> 00:01:13,195
or I'd kill us all?
21
00:01:13,229 --> 00:01:14,696
No, that was yesterday.
22
00:01:14,731 --> 00:01:16,064
It was?
23
00:01:16,099 --> 00:01:17,866
Ho-ho-ho, lucky.
24
00:01:17,901 --> 00:01:19,268
You were first!
25
00:01:19,302 --> 00:01:22,004
No! Today's
the one-year anniversary
26
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:24,606
of when I almost left Earth,
but decided to stay!
27
00:01:24,641 --> 00:01:26,675
You mean,
the one-year anniversary
28
00:01:26,709 --> 00:01:29,278
of you pushing Jeff
into that alien ship
29
00:01:29,312 --> 00:01:31,513
and him being sucked into space.
30
00:01:31,548 --> 00:01:34,683
That's why Hayley's been so sad.
31
00:01:34,717 --> 00:01:36,552
She must be missing Jeff.
32
00:01:36,586 --> 00:01:39,454
Then she should come look at
this, 'cause he's right here!
33
00:01:39,489 --> 00:01:41,823
Francine, I maxed out
your credit card
34
00:01:41,858 --> 00:01:44,960
to hire Buddy Valastro
from Cake Boss to make this.
35
00:01:44,994 --> 00:01:47,829
And, Stan, I maxed out your
credit card to hire Buddy
36
00:01:47,864 --> 00:01:50,499
to make this cake
of me ordering the first cake.
37
00:01:50,533 --> 00:01:55,370
I saw Roger ordering the cake,
and trust me, that is dead on.
38
00:01:55,405 --> 00:01:56,972
(door squeaks)
39
00:01:57,006 --> 00:01:58,974
Honey, I brought you breakfast.
40
00:01:59,008 --> 00:02:01,944
Also, we haven't done
an are-you-alive check today.
41
00:02:01,978 --> 00:02:03,145
HAYLEY:
I'm not hungry.
42
00:02:03,179 --> 00:02:04,646
Put them with the rest.
43
00:02:04,681 --> 00:02:06,448
(buzzing)
44
00:02:06,482 --> 00:02:09,518
Honey, I know it's been a year
since Jeff was abducted,
45
00:02:09,552 --> 00:02:11,587
and that's hitting you
pretty hard.
46
00:02:11,621 --> 00:02:14,256
But don't you think it's time
you got out of this room
47
00:02:14,290 --> 00:02:16,825
and started living
your life again?
48
00:02:16,860 --> 00:02:18,994
I'll never forget Jeff!
49
00:02:19,028 --> 00:02:20,562
(sighs)
50
00:02:20,597 --> 00:02:21,864
(laughs)
51
00:02:21,898 --> 00:02:23,432
Oh, you made a big one!
52
00:02:23,466 --> 00:02:26,068
Thanks for using the newspaper
this time.
53
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:28,237
Covered the whole
comics section.
54
00:02:28,271 --> 00:02:30,005
Bet that's not the first time
55
00:02:30,039 --> 00:02:32,274
Cathy's had that done
on her face.
56
00:02:34,811 --> 00:02:36,411
This is it, Snot.
57
00:02:36,446 --> 00:02:39,081
Today, we meet the girl who's
gonna take our virginities.
58
00:02:39,115 --> 00:02:41,116
And we're gonna find
that girl with this!
59
00:02:41,151 --> 00:02:42,351
What is it?
60
00:02:42,385 --> 00:02:44,153
It's my dad's old CB radio!
61
00:02:44,187 --> 00:02:45,354
(static hissing)
62
00:02:45,388 --> 00:02:46,722
Breaker, breaker.
63
00:02:46,756 --> 00:02:49,958
This is two 14-year-old boys
looking for two special gals.
64
00:02:49,993 --> 00:02:51,960
MAN (laughing):
Oh, ten-four!
65
00:02:51,995 --> 00:02:53,962
I'd treat you boys real nice.
66
00:02:53,997 --> 00:02:56,165
I'm not a woman exactly,
67
00:02:56,199 --> 00:02:58,867
but I can get my hands
on the parts you guys are after.
68
00:02:58,902 --> 00:03:01,537
It's all lonely, male truckers.
69
00:03:01,571 --> 00:03:03,305
WOMAN:
Are you boys still there?
70
00:03:03,339 --> 00:03:04,973
Yeah, we're here!
71
00:03:05,008 --> 00:03:06,909
(quietly):
Be cool.
72
00:03:06,943 --> 00:03:08,510
(loudly):
Are you hot?!
73
00:03:08,545 --> 00:03:11,213
Well, if you're talking
about looks, yes.
74
00:03:11,247 --> 00:03:14,249
If you're talking about gambling
on college basketball,
75
00:03:14,284 --> 00:03:16,618
I am ice cold.
76
00:03:16,653 --> 00:03:19,521
Stupid DePaul,
can't hit a free throw.
77
00:03:19,556 --> 00:03:21,390
You boys want to meet up?
78
00:03:21,424 --> 00:03:22,591
I'll be at...
79
00:03:22,625 --> 00:03:24,093
(static hissing)
80
00:03:24,127 --> 00:03:25,394
...find me quite limber.
81
00:03:25,428 --> 00:03:26,562
(static hissing)
82
00:03:26,596 --> 00:03:28,997
Ma'am? Ma'am,
are you there?!
83
00:03:29,032 --> 00:03:30,265
Oh, she's gone!
84
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:32,267
We need to get her signal back!
85
00:03:32,302 --> 00:03:35,204
MAN: You boys want to see
a 400-pound man rise out
86
00:03:35,238 --> 00:03:37,206
of his overalls like a phoenix?
87
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,907
(static hissing)
88
00:03:41,444 --> 00:03:43,145
Oh, this can't end well.
89
00:03:43,179 --> 00:03:45,347
Says here they taught
an ape how to read.
90
00:03:45,381 --> 00:03:47,850
I'm assuming, based on the
photo next to all these words.
91
00:03:47,884 --> 00:03:51,286
Stan, I'm worried about Hayley,
all cooped up in her room.
92
00:03:51,321 --> 00:03:53,989
Maybe we should get a therapist
to help coax her out.
93
00:03:54,023 --> 00:03:55,424
A therapist?
Sounds expensive.
94
00:03:55,458 --> 00:03:58,494
What if I told you I could
smoke her out of her room
95
00:03:58,528 --> 00:03:59,995
for a fraction of the cost?
96
00:04:00,029 --> 00:04:03,098
(siren blaring) Stan,
what were you thinking?!
97
00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:06,235
Well, first I thought I'd smoke
her out with a controlled fire.
98
00:04:06,269 --> 00:04:07,936
Then I lit the fire.
99
00:04:07,971 --> 00:04:10,406
Then I thought, I don't know
how to control fire.
100
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:11,807
(siren wailing)
101
00:04:14,344 --> 00:04:17,079
Hayley, when they told
you to feel the burn,
102
00:04:17,113 --> 00:04:19,381
I think they were
talking about exercise!
103
00:04:20,450 --> 00:04:22,051
I shouldn't joke about this.
104
00:04:22,085 --> 00:04:23,652
I did this.
105
00:04:23,686 --> 00:04:25,821
We'll see you tomorrow, honey.
106
00:04:27,557 --> 00:04:30,392
MAN: Why don't you get
a real job, loser!
107
00:04:30,427 --> 00:04:31,827
Yeah, you're just
a dumb janitor.
108
00:04:31,861 --> 00:04:33,996
We're doctors.
Doctors rule!
109
00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:36,265
Go... doctors!
110
00:04:36,299 --> 00:04:39,468
Hey, Janitor, you should get
that checked out by a doctor.
111
00:04:39,502 --> 00:04:41,036
Hey, I'm a doctor!
112
00:04:41,071 --> 00:04:42,738
It's bad news.
113
00:04:42,772 --> 00:04:43,972
You're a loser!
114
00:04:44,007 --> 00:04:45,340
Doctors rule!
115
00:04:45,375 --> 00:04:47,676
Hey, just because
he's a janitor doesn't mean
116
00:04:47,711 --> 00:04:49,378
you can kick him in the nards.
117
00:04:49,412 --> 00:04:50,579
Leave him alone!
118
00:04:50,613 --> 00:04:51,914
Forget this.
119
00:04:51,948 --> 00:04:53,982
Let's go hit on
some cancer chicks.
120
00:04:55,518 --> 00:04:58,387
Wow. That was really sweet
of you to stand up for me.
121
00:04:58,421 --> 00:05:00,356
I'm Millionaire Matt Davis.
122
00:05:00,390 --> 00:05:01,890
Millionaire Matt Davis?
123
00:05:01,925 --> 00:05:03,459
Is that your real name?
124
00:05:03,493 --> 00:05:05,394
Yeah, my mom had
high hopes for me.
125
00:05:05,428 --> 00:05:08,397
And I exceeded them
by 380 million.
126
00:05:08,431 --> 00:05:10,699
Hayley. It's nice
to meet you.
127
00:05:10,734 --> 00:05:12,701
But wait. If you're
a multimillionaire,
128
00:05:12,736 --> 00:05:14,336
why are you working
as a janitor?
129
00:05:14,371 --> 00:05:17,272
Well, when I'm not running my
many charitable organizations,
130
00:05:17,307 --> 00:05:20,075
I use my fortune
to live life to the fullest.
131
00:05:20,110 --> 00:05:21,343
Wow.
132
00:05:21,378 --> 00:05:22,511
Yeah, every day,
133
00:05:22,545 --> 00:05:23,912
I tackle a new,
amazing experience.
134
00:05:23,947 --> 00:05:26,515
I mean, you know, being a
janitor is a bad example,
135
00:05:26,549 --> 00:05:27,850
but Monday, I flew a jet.
136
00:05:27,884 --> 00:05:29,585
Tuesday, I rocked-climbed
in Thailand.
137
00:05:29,619 --> 00:05:31,587
And Wednesday, I
worked at GameStop.
138
00:05:31,621 --> 00:05:33,722
Gosh, it all sounds so exciting!
139
00:05:33,757 --> 00:05:36,258
Well, maybe one day,
I can take you along
140
00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:37,926
on one of my adventures.
141
00:05:37,961 --> 00:05:40,529
You ever have to kill
sick dogs for the city?
142
00:05:40,563 --> 00:05:41,764
Maybe not that one.
143
00:05:41,798 --> 00:05:42,931
No, not that one.
144
00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:44,633
But we'll think of something.
145
00:05:48,772 --> 00:05:51,040
Oops.
146
00:05:55,645 --> 00:05:57,413
HAYLEY:
Hey, look at me!
147
00:06:00,350 --> 00:06:03,919
Wow. That was most amazing trip
home from the hospital ever.
148
00:06:03,954 --> 00:06:06,922
Mom, Dad, this is
Millionaire Matt Davis.
149
00:06:06,957 --> 00:06:08,624
We met in the burn ward.
150
00:06:08,658 --> 00:06:10,192
A millionaire?!
151
00:06:10,226 --> 00:06:12,595
Okay, okay, okay, what is
premium gasoline like?
152
00:06:12,629 --> 00:06:15,097
Does it smell as good
as I think it does?
153
00:06:15,131 --> 00:06:16,332
(helicopter blades whirring)
154
00:06:16,366 --> 00:06:17,566
What's that?
155
00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,735
Hayley told me about the fire!
156
00:06:19,769 --> 00:06:21,170
I wouldn't be a good guest
157
00:06:21,204 --> 00:06:23,339
if I didn't bring something
for my hosts.
158
00:06:28,678 --> 00:06:31,814
Oh, my gosh, thank you so much!
159
00:06:31,848 --> 00:06:35,918
STEVE: Did someone just
drop a house on me?!
160
00:06:35,952 --> 00:06:38,420
Sure, my life is adventurous,
161
00:06:38,455 --> 00:06:40,489
but if you don't have
someone to share it with,
162
00:06:40,523 --> 00:06:42,091
what's the point?
163
00:06:42,125 --> 00:06:43,092
Aw...
164
00:06:43,126 --> 00:06:44,293
You're so rich!
165
00:06:44,327 --> 00:06:45,761
Well, sorry to cut this short,
166
00:06:45,795 --> 00:06:46,929
but I gotta get going.
167
00:06:46,963 --> 00:06:49,164
Today I'm going
to be a pro golfer.
168
00:06:49,199 --> 00:06:50,799
Worst on tour.
169
00:06:50,834 --> 00:06:52,794
That shirt costs more than
this house, doesn't it?
170
00:06:52,802 --> 00:06:54,169
Please let the answer be yes.
171
00:06:54,204 --> 00:06:56,005
And I'll see you tomorrow.
172
00:06:56,039 --> 00:06:57,539
Scuba-brunch!
173
00:06:59,943 --> 00:07:00,943
Wow.
174
00:07:00,977 --> 00:07:03,279
Oh, he makes me feel so alive!
175
00:07:03,313 --> 00:07:06,015
You know, I didn't think
I could ever imagine
176
00:07:06,049 --> 00:07:08,017
a life without Jeff, but...
177
00:07:08,051 --> 00:07:09,919
maybe I'm finally ready to try.
178
00:07:09,953 --> 00:07:12,154
Oh, Hayley, that's wonderful!
179
00:07:12,188 --> 00:07:13,322
Damn.
180
00:07:13,356 --> 00:07:15,197
I forgot to ask him
if he knows Scrooge McDuck.
181
00:07:15,225 --> 00:07:16,892
Hayley, come quick!
182
00:07:16,927 --> 00:07:19,528
Snot and I were playing
with Dad's old CB radio,
183
00:07:19,563 --> 00:07:21,030
for reasons you
don't need to know,
184
00:07:21,064 --> 00:07:24,934
and I came across a signal
from really far away.
185
00:07:24,968 --> 00:07:26,735
Um, h-hello?
186
00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:28,170
JEFF:
Hey, babe! It's me!
187
00:07:28,205 --> 00:07:29,205
I'm alive!
188
00:07:29,239 --> 00:07:30,272
Jeff?!
189
00:07:30,307 --> 00:07:32,308
Oh, my God,
is-is that really you?
190
00:07:32,342 --> 00:07:34,243
Jeffinitely!
Get it?
191
00:07:34,277 --> 00:07:36,245
It's like "definitely,"
but with my name!
192
00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:38,080
It is you!
193
00:07:38,114 --> 00:07:40,282
Hey, I was out
test-driving some Saturns.
194
00:07:40,317 --> 00:07:42,117
You know, narrowing it down.
195
00:07:42,152 --> 00:07:44,920
Whoa, did we get a new house?
196
00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:53,209
JEFF: And then Sinbad
sacrificed himself
197
00:07:53,243 --> 00:07:55,478
so I could escape
the alien space station,
198
00:07:55,512 --> 00:07:57,847
and me and his ghost have been
traveling the stars
199
00:07:57,881 --> 00:07:59,882
looking for a way home
ever since.
200
00:07:59,917 --> 00:08:02,351
You guys, Jeff is still alive
201
00:08:02,386 --> 00:08:04,086
in space and almost home!
202
00:08:04,121 --> 00:08:06,622
Actually, babe, we have
no idea where we are.
203
00:08:06,657 --> 00:08:08,357
Yo, Jeff, ask her
what she's wearing.
204
00:08:08,392 --> 00:08:10,359
No, ask her if she's
seen Houseguest.
205
00:08:10,394 --> 00:08:11,561
(laughs)
206
00:08:11,595 --> 00:08:13,296
JEFF:
Hayley, Sinbad wants to know...
207
00:08:13,330 --> 00:08:14,597
(static hisses)
208
00:08:14,631 --> 00:08:16,065
Hayley?
(static hisses)
209
00:08:16,099 --> 00:08:17,467
I'm losing my signal.
210
00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:20,036
But wait by the CB
and I'll catch you later.
211
00:08:20,070 --> 00:08:22,839
I think we can totally make this
long-distance thing work...
212
00:08:22,873 --> 00:08:24,474
(static hissing)
213
00:08:24,508 --> 00:08:25,475
No!
214
00:08:25,509 --> 00:08:26,630
Hayley's supposed to move on
215
00:08:26,643 --> 00:08:27,977
with Millionaire Matt Davis!
216
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,481
Dad, no!
217
00:08:35,552 --> 00:08:36,786
Damn it!
218
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:38,788
Everything in Steve's
room is made of Nerf!
219
00:08:40,924 --> 00:08:42,291
It'll be like
220
00:08:42,326 --> 00:08:44,427
I'm looking in her eyes
when we talk.
221
00:08:44,461 --> 00:08:46,863
I also waterproofed it
for phone sex...
222
00:08:46,897 --> 00:08:48,764
so I can cry as much as I want!
223
00:08:48,799 --> 00:08:49,999
Look, Jeff,
224
00:08:50,033 --> 00:08:51,874
I'm glad you reconnected
with your hippie wife,
225
00:08:51,902 --> 00:08:53,770
but you're getting
her hopes up, man.
226
00:08:53,804 --> 00:08:55,104
And we may never make it home.
227
00:08:55,139 --> 00:08:56,973
Oh, we'll get home, Sinbad.
228
00:08:57,007 --> 00:08:58,341
And until we do,
229
00:08:58,375 --> 00:08:59,709
Hayley and I are strong enough
230
00:08:59,743 --> 00:09:01,144
to survive a long-distance
relationship.
231
00:09:01,178 --> 00:09:02,345
You'll see.
232
00:09:02,379 --> 00:09:03,546
I believe you, Jeff Fischer.
233
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:04,981
You my man.
234
00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:07,095
Plus, it'll be cool for me
to know the first guy ever
235
00:09:07,117 --> 00:09:10,119
to make a long-distance
relationship work.
236
00:09:10,154 --> 00:09:12,622
(crickets chirping)
237
00:09:12,656 --> 00:09:15,291
JEFF: Actually, babe, it's not
too bad up here in space,
238
00:09:15,325 --> 00:09:18,428
especially with
the world's funniest co-pilot.
239
00:09:18,462 --> 00:09:20,763
Oh, listen to what
Sinbad said yesterday:
240
00:09:20,798 --> 00:09:23,199
"Judo isn't an Olympic sport...
241
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:25,034
it's what you make
matzo balls with!"
242
00:09:25,068 --> 00:09:27,603
(both laughing)
243
00:09:27,638 --> 00:09:28,638
(phone ringing, buzzing)
244
00:09:34,445 --> 00:09:36,045
Oh, Jeff.
245
00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:37,613
I wish I were up there with you.
246
00:09:37,648 --> 00:09:39,615
Oh, you don't want
to be up here, babe.
247
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,451
Sinbad's a blanket hog.
248
00:09:41,485 --> 00:09:43,152
SINBAD:
You love it.
249
00:09:45,689 --> 00:09:46,856
You know the tall guy
250
00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:48,324
and the Asian chick
from Rite Aid?
251
00:09:48,358 --> 00:09:49,325
Yeah.
252
00:09:49,359 --> 00:09:50,526
I saw them at
Pizza Hut together.
253
00:09:50,561 --> 00:09:51,527
Like on a date?
254
00:09:51,562 --> 00:09:52,528
Yeah, it looked like it.
255
00:09:52,563 --> 00:09:53,696
Wow.
Good for her.
256
00:09:53,731 --> 00:09:55,865
I know, right?
257
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,434
Here comes
Millionaire Matt Davis.
258
00:09:58,469 --> 00:10:00,002
Poor schmuck, doesn't realize
259
00:10:00,037 --> 00:10:01,337
Hayley's still stuck on Jeff.
260
00:10:01,371 --> 00:10:02,905
Ugh, Hayley's blowing it.
261
00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:04,107
All that money.
262
00:10:04,141 --> 00:10:06,209
Matt would have been
the perfect son-in-law.
263
00:10:06,243 --> 00:10:09,178
Maybe he still can be...
264
00:10:09,213 --> 00:10:10,380
(doorbell rings)
265
00:10:10,414 --> 00:10:11,748
Hi, Matt!
266
00:10:11,782 --> 00:10:13,049
Hey, Mr. Smith.
267
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,417
Um, sorry, I...
268
00:10:14,451 --> 00:10:16,252
I just want to make
sure Hayley's okay.
269
00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:18,321
She, um, hasn't been
returning my calls.
270
00:10:18,355 --> 00:10:19,522
Yeah, yeah, Hayley's fine.
271
00:10:19,556 --> 00:10:21,023
But have you met my younger,
272
00:10:21,058 --> 00:10:22,692
also-single daughter, Ramona?
273
00:10:22,726 --> 00:10:23,826
Hi.
274
00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:24,961
I'm Regina.
275
00:10:24,995 --> 00:10:27,797
Uh, I-I really just
want to see Hayley.
276
00:10:27,831 --> 00:10:28,998
Forget Hayley!
277
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:30,800
Can she do this?
278
00:10:30,834 --> 00:10:33,036
Oh... I don't know.
279
00:10:33,070 --> 00:10:35,371
Or what about this?
280
00:10:35,406 --> 00:10:36,572
Hot!
281
00:10:36,607 --> 00:10:37,907
Probably not.
282
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:41,411
Well, can Hayley do this?
283
00:10:41,445 --> 00:10:43,112
What about this?
284
00:10:44,548 --> 00:10:46,215
Think she can do this?
285
00:10:46,250 --> 00:10:48,551
Ha-duken!
286
00:10:48,585 --> 00:10:50,353
Or this?
287
00:10:50,387 --> 00:10:51,688
288
00:10:51,722 --> 00:10:54,490
(audience singing along)
289
00:10:54,525 --> 00:10:57,460
No way Hayley can do this.
290
00:10:57,494 --> 00:11:00,763
291
00:11:00,798 --> 00:11:02,865
Look, it was nice
to meet you, Ramona,
292
00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:06,436
but Hayley's
the only girl for me.
293
00:11:06,470 --> 00:11:09,706
How about next time
you bring your "A" game?
294
00:11:09,740 --> 00:11:13,843
Stan! Reversing this
is a two-man job, Stan!
295
00:11:13,877 --> 00:11:15,244
(chittering)
Hey, no, stop!
296
00:11:15,279 --> 00:11:17,313
You're getting my insides dirty!
297
00:11:17,348 --> 00:11:19,082
Stan!
298
00:11:21,151 --> 00:11:24,454
Jeff? Jeff, are you there?
299
00:11:24,488 --> 00:11:25,755
(sighs)
300
00:11:25,789 --> 00:11:28,324
Oh, Hayley, look at you,
301
00:11:28,359 --> 00:11:30,693
you're right back
where you started,
302
00:11:30,728 --> 00:11:31,961
trapped in your room.
303
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,931
Yeah, but-but Jeff might
come back one day.
304
00:11:34,965 --> 00:11:36,966
Look, honey, Jeff is gone.
305
00:11:37,001 --> 00:11:39,035
And nobody knows where he is,
306
00:11:39,069 --> 00:11:40,169
not even him.
307
00:11:40,204 --> 00:11:42,372
Plus, he said he hated you
right before he left.
308
00:11:42,406 --> 00:11:43,539
No, he didn't.
309
00:11:43,574 --> 00:11:44,741
Okay, he didn't.
310
00:11:44,775 --> 00:11:47,143
But I just don't want
to see you waste your life
311
00:11:47,177 --> 00:11:49,312
waiting for a guy who's...
312
00:11:49,346 --> 00:11:51,914
never coming home.
313
00:11:51,949 --> 00:11:53,650
Exit on the joke, Francine.
314
00:11:53,684 --> 00:11:55,485
Exit on the joke.
315
00:11:55,519 --> 00:11:57,654
Hey, babe!
316
00:11:57,688 --> 00:11:59,122
Hey, Jeff.
317
00:11:59,156 --> 00:12:01,257
So what'd you do today?
318
00:12:01,291 --> 00:12:03,126
Sat here... waiting.
319
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:05,461
Yeah, I didn't do much either.
320
00:12:05,496 --> 00:12:08,564
Hey, Jeff, are, um,
are you guys any closer
321
00:12:08,599 --> 00:12:10,233
to figuring out a way home?
322
00:12:10,267 --> 00:12:11,968
Nope, not at all!
323
00:12:12,002 --> 00:12:13,403
(text alert sounds)
324
00:12:14,938 --> 00:12:18,007
But I did figure out a way
to make Sinbad laugh!
325
00:12:18,042 --> 00:12:19,042
(fart sound)
326
00:12:19,076 --> 00:12:20,610
(Sinbad laughs)
327
00:12:20,644 --> 00:12:22,545
SINBAD:
That wasn't even real, girl!
328
00:12:22,579 --> 00:12:25,248
That was his hands! (Laughs)
329
00:12:30,087 --> 00:12:31,487
Matt, what the hell?!
330
00:12:31,522 --> 00:12:32,655
Sorry I'm late.
331
00:12:32,690 --> 00:12:34,958
Today I was a rodeo cowboy.
332
00:12:34,992 --> 00:12:36,159
(gunshot)
333
00:12:36,193 --> 00:12:38,094
And tonight I'm a chef!
334
00:12:39,863 --> 00:12:41,931
But first, let's thank
this noble animal
335
00:12:41,966 --> 00:12:43,166
for its sacrifice.
336
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,301
Shine on, bull.
337
00:12:45,336 --> 00:12:46,803
Shine on.
338
00:12:48,305 --> 00:12:51,374
I was starting to worry
you didn't want to see me.
339
00:12:51,408 --> 00:12:54,777
So, when you called,
it was a big relief.
340
00:12:54,812 --> 00:12:57,146
Hup! Whup! Ho!
341
00:12:57,181 --> 00:12:58,481
Of course I wanted to see you.
342
00:12:58,515 --> 00:12:59,682
It's just...
343
00:12:59,717 --> 00:13:01,017
So sorry to interrupt,
344
00:13:01,051 --> 00:13:02,585
but you have something
behind your ear.
345
00:13:02,620 --> 00:13:03,786
What are these?
346
00:13:03,821 --> 00:13:04,988
Plane tickets.
347
00:13:05,022 --> 00:13:06,689
I planned an entire year
of adventure
348
00:13:06,724 --> 00:13:08,324
for us all over the world...
349
00:13:08,359 --> 00:13:09,993
if you're interested.
350
00:13:11,028 --> 00:13:13,463
I'd love to go, Matt.
351
00:13:13,497 --> 00:13:17,133
There's just one thing
I have to do before I can.
352
00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:18,134
Oh, my God, Matt!
353
00:13:18,168 --> 00:13:19,135
(bellows)
354
00:13:19,169 --> 00:13:20,737
I got this.
355
00:13:20,771 --> 00:13:21,838
(bellows)
356
00:13:21,872 --> 00:13:22,872
(loud crash)
357
00:13:24,742 --> 00:13:28,978
Ah! My pre-owned Saturn!
I just got this thing!
358
00:13:36,287 --> 00:13:37,687
Jeff?
359
00:13:37,721 --> 00:13:39,489
Jeff, are-are you there?
360
00:13:39,523 --> 00:13:41,024
We need to talk.
361
00:13:41,058 --> 00:13:43,526
Hayley!
Oh, I'm glad you're there!
362
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,262
Yeah, um, look, Jeff,
363
00:13:46,297 --> 00:13:47,964
let's be honest,
364
00:13:47,998 --> 00:13:50,099
you may never make it back,
365
00:13:50,134 --> 00:13:52,335
so I have to face reality.
366
00:13:52,369 --> 00:13:53,536
Babe, that's just it!
367
00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:55,338
We did find a way home!
368
00:13:55,372 --> 00:13:57,240
You-you found a way home?
369
00:13:57,274 --> 00:13:59,342
Yeah, our ship found a wormhole
370
00:13:59,376 --> 00:14:01,044
that will take us
straight to Earth!
371
00:14:01,078 --> 00:14:05,448
So we can finally get back
to living our lives together?
372
00:14:05,482 --> 00:14:07,216
Yeah, babe, I'll be home soon!
373
00:14:07,251 --> 00:14:08,618
Promise you'll wait for me?
374
00:14:10,888 --> 00:14:12,789
Hayley, are you there?
375
00:14:12,823 --> 00:14:14,290
Yes, I-I'm here!
376
00:14:14,325 --> 00:14:17,727
I promise, Jeff,
I will wait for you.
377
00:14:22,132 --> 00:14:24,867
All right, Sinbad,
we're finally going home.
378
00:14:24,902 --> 00:14:26,102
(both yell)
379
00:14:28,239 --> 00:14:30,039
SINBAD:
Whoa, look at that!
380
00:14:30,074 --> 00:14:31,541
Wow...
381
00:14:31,575 --> 00:14:35,144
The wormhole, it's so beautiful.
382
00:14:35,179 --> 00:14:37,814
Like staring
into the face of God!
383
00:14:37,848 --> 00:14:39,916
It's unbelievable!
384
00:14:43,454 --> 00:14:45,421
We... are...
385
00:14:45,456 --> 00:14:47,657
infinite!
386
00:14:48,926 --> 00:14:50,493
(both whooping)
387
00:14:55,888 --> 00:14:58,501
Hayley, it's me! Hayley!
388
00:15:01,205 --> 00:15:02,338
Hayley?
389
00:15:02,373 --> 00:15:05,174
Jeff! I knew you'd come.
390
00:15:05,209 --> 00:15:09,112
Oh! It's been 60 years,
but you're finally home!
391
00:15:09,146 --> 00:15:11,781
That would explain
the floating cars.
392
00:15:21,277 --> 00:15:22,577
I can't believe this.
393
00:15:22,612 --> 00:15:25,080
How did we end up
60 years in the future?
394
00:15:25,114 --> 00:15:26,748
When we went through
the wormhole,
395
00:15:26,783 --> 00:15:29,251
we must have traveled
through both space and time.
396
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:32,321
There's a Magic Tree House book
that explains all of this.
397
00:15:32,355 --> 00:15:34,489
I waited for you
like I promised.
398
00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:37,426
I guess I just thought
that when you got here,
399
00:15:37,460 --> 00:15:38,794
we'd be the same age.
400
00:15:38,828 --> 00:15:40,462
Oh, that doesn't matter, babe.
401
00:15:40,496 --> 00:15:42,931
You're as beautiful now
as the day I met you.
402
00:15:42,966 --> 00:15:44,800
You mean it?
You know I do.
403
00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:46,168
Yeah, that's real touching,
404
00:15:46,202 --> 00:15:48,537
but in the future, do you
folks still have food
405
00:15:48,571 --> 00:15:50,539
and do you offer it
to your guests?
406
00:15:52,709 --> 00:15:55,243
My family's gonna be
so excited to see you!
407
00:15:55,278 --> 00:15:56,979
And I can't wait
to see everyone!
408
00:15:57,013 --> 00:15:59,181
I also can't wait
to find out why
409
00:15:59,215 --> 00:16:01,450
everything in the future hovers.
410
00:16:01,484 --> 00:16:03,251
I made my
famous Jell-O mold.
411
00:16:03,286 --> 00:16:04,720
Gah! Mrs. S.?
412
00:16:04,754 --> 00:16:06,054
You look so...
413
00:16:06,089 --> 00:16:07,255
Great, right?
414
00:16:07,290 --> 00:16:08,690
She's had a little work done,
415
00:16:08,725 --> 00:16:10,192
but you can't really tell.
416
00:16:10,226 --> 00:16:12,194
People often mistake
us for sisters.
417
00:16:12,228 --> 00:16:13,695
(chuckles)
418
00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:15,063
Ooh!
419
00:16:15,098 --> 00:16:17,299
(whirring)
420
00:16:17,333 --> 00:16:19,534
Cool, you two
are still best friends?
421
00:16:19,569 --> 00:16:21,169
Actually, we're a couple now.
422
00:16:21,204 --> 00:16:23,238
We made a pact that
we'd marry each other
423
00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:24,673
if we were still single
424
00:16:24,707 --> 00:16:26,441
by the time we turned 21.
425
00:16:26,476 --> 00:16:27,676
In retrospect,
we probably should have
426
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:29,311
set the age a little higher.
427
00:16:29,345 --> 00:16:31,079
We take turns being the girl.
428
00:16:31,114 --> 00:16:32,614
No, no, we don't.
429
00:16:32,649 --> 00:16:33,782
Good for you guys.
430
00:16:33,816 --> 00:16:35,484
ROGER:
Hey! You made it back!
431
00:16:36,853 --> 00:16:38,687
Roger, you son of a bitch!
432
00:16:38,721 --> 00:16:40,055
You sent me into space!
433
00:16:40,089 --> 00:16:43,425
I know. I owe you a fairly
substantial apology, Jeff.
434
00:16:43,459 --> 00:16:45,160
But I'm a changed man.
435
00:16:45,194 --> 00:16:47,629
I've been involved with a lot
of shenanigans over the years,
436
00:16:47,664 --> 00:16:50,966
but the greatest adventure
of my life has been being a dad
437
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,969
to these two amazing black sons,
who I adopted
438
00:16:54,003 --> 00:16:55,804
after their mother,
the love of my life,
439
00:16:55,838 --> 00:16:57,439
died in a car accident.
440
00:16:57,473 --> 00:16:59,575
We know he backed over our mom,
441
00:16:59,609 --> 00:17:02,444
but he's been a real
good driver since then.
442
00:17:02,478 --> 00:17:04,913
Okay, you're
embarrassing me now.
443
00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:09,151
Dad, good to see you.
444
00:17:09,185 --> 00:17:11,920
Still committing to
the ape body, I see.
445
00:17:11,955 --> 00:17:13,555
The ape uprising
is coming, Hayley,
446
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:15,057
and I'll be ready when it does.
447
00:17:15,091 --> 00:17:17,426
Mr. S., is that
really you?!
448
00:17:17,460 --> 00:17:18,627
Oh, I've missed you!
449
00:17:18,661 --> 00:17:19,828
You!
(gasps)
450
00:17:19,863 --> 00:17:20,862
(growls)
451
00:17:22,465 --> 00:17:24,566
Hayley was supposed to marry
Millionaire Matt Davis,
452
00:17:24,601 --> 00:17:28,337
and instead, she wasted
her entire life waiting for you!
453
00:17:28,371 --> 00:17:30,339
Dad, stop!
Leave him alone!
454
00:17:30,373 --> 00:17:32,374
Hayley, who's Matt Davis?
455
00:17:32,408 --> 00:17:34,643
You were gonna marry
someone else?
456
00:17:34,677 --> 00:17:37,813
Jeff, you don't understand!
You were gone!
457
00:17:37,847 --> 00:17:39,915
I-I didn't think you were
ever gonna come back!
458
00:17:39,949 --> 00:17:41,149
(gasps)
459
00:17:42,585 --> 00:17:44,219
She's having a heart attack!
460
00:17:44,254 --> 00:17:45,420
Give her space!
461
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:47,356
Give her space so she can die!
462
00:17:50,393 --> 00:17:55,497
Hayley, I'm so sorry
this happened.
463
00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:57,733
How's she doing?
464
00:17:57,767 --> 00:18:00,002
She's... comfortable.
465
00:18:01,938 --> 00:18:04,840
Wait-- you're
Millionaire Matt Davis?
466
00:18:04,874 --> 00:18:07,209
Yup. And I loved her.
467
00:18:07,243 --> 00:18:10,012
Till one day she told me
we were through.
468
00:18:10,046 --> 00:18:12,614
Ever since then I've just been
469
00:18:12,649 --> 00:18:14,917
mopping up vomit and guts
at this hospital,
470
00:18:14,951 --> 00:18:18,487
just trying to relive
the best day of my life--
471
00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:20,389
the day I met Hayley.
472
00:18:22,759 --> 00:18:25,260
(machine beeping rhythmically)
473
00:18:25,295 --> 00:18:28,530
(voice breaks): Looks like
I ruined everyone's lives.
474
00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:31,033
I'm sorry I made you waste yours
waiting for me.
475
00:18:31,067 --> 00:18:33,936
Good-bye, babe...
476
00:18:33,970 --> 00:18:35,904
(sniffles) forever.
477
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,275
Suck metal, Davis!
478
00:18:40,310 --> 00:18:42,044
Robot doctors rule!
479
00:18:46,282 --> 00:18:48,884
Come on, Sinbad,
480
00:18:48,918 --> 00:18:50,919
we don't belong here.
481
00:18:55,892 --> 00:18:57,526
Get back here!
482
00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,529
You wasted my daughter's life
and now you're running away?!
483
00:19:00,563 --> 00:19:02,731
Fischer!
484
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:05,701
(ape roars)
485
00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:10,038
(apes screeching)
486
00:19:11,841 --> 00:19:13,509
(tires screech)
487
00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:14,743
(screeching)
488
00:19:14,777 --> 00:19:16,812
Yes! I knew it!
489
00:19:16,846 --> 00:19:18,380
The ape revolution is starting!
490
00:19:18,414 --> 00:19:19,948
Wait for me, brother apes!
491
00:19:23,987 --> 00:19:27,389
Greetings, brother apes!
I stand with you.
492
00:19:27,423 --> 00:19:29,324
(screeches)
493
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:38,033
Man, that was fun.
494
00:19:38,067 --> 00:19:39,434
So where we going now?
495
00:19:39,469 --> 00:19:40,836
Back through the wormhole.
496
00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:42,171
But if we do that,
497
00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:44,072
we're gonna be stranded
in deep space again.
498
00:19:44,107 --> 00:19:45,908
I know.
499
00:19:51,448 --> 00:19:53,816
Let me see if we're back.
500
00:19:53,850 --> 00:19:55,083
Hayley?
501
00:19:55,118 --> 00:19:56,485
Hayley, are you there?!
502
00:19:56,519 --> 00:19:59,087
Yes, I'm here.
I promise, Jeff!
503
00:19:59,122 --> 00:20:00,489
I will wait for you.
504
00:20:00,523 --> 00:20:02,991
No, no, no, don't wait for me!
505
00:20:03,026 --> 00:20:06,829
Listen, babe, I thought we found
a way home, but I was wrong.
506
00:20:06,863 --> 00:20:09,164
And it's not fair to ask you
to wait for me.
507
00:20:09,199 --> 00:20:12,601
Jeff, what-what are you saying?
508
00:20:12,635 --> 00:20:13,969
(sighs)
509
00:20:14,003 --> 00:20:15,871
Move on, babe.
510
00:20:15,905 --> 00:20:18,340
I release you.
511
00:20:18,374 --> 00:20:20,109
(static hissing)
512
00:20:21,511 --> 00:20:24,780
I'll never forget you,
Jeff Fischer.
513
00:20:24,814 --> 00:20:25,848
You gotta hide me!
514
00:20:25,882 --> 00:20:27,349
I just married a black chick
515
00:20:27,383 --> 00:20:29,184
with two kids
and then I killed her!
516
00:20:29,219 --> 00:20:31,019
Okay, Hayley,
the jet is parked out front.
517
00:20:31,054 --> 00:20:32,988
You ready to go to Fiji?
518
00:20:33,022 --> 00:20:34,456
No witnesses!
519
00:20:34,491 --> 00:20:36,325
(gasps)
520
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,994
I guess today...
521
00:20:39,028 --> 00:20:40,996
I get to try out...
522
00:20:41,030 --> 00:20:42,865
being an angel.
523
00:20:42,899 --> 00:20:44,733
(gasping)
524
00:20:48,171 --> 00:20:51,740
Well, looks like we both lost
a life partner today.
525
00:20:51,775 --> 00:20:53,509
You know
what'll make us feel better?
526
00:20:53,543 --> 00:20:58,522
A trip to Fiji.
A mourncation. Honeymourn?
527
00:20:59,914 --> 00:21:10,119
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
528
00:21:10,169 --> 00:21:14,719
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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