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1
00:00:01,253 --> 00:00:02,753
(upbeat march plays)
2
00:00:02,787 --> 00:00:05,422
Good morning, USA!
3
00:00:05,457 --> 00:00:09,360
I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day
4
00:00:09,394 --> 00:00:12,329
The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face
5
00:00:12,364 --> 00:00:16,767
And he's shining a salute
to the American race
6
00:00:18,637 --> 00:00:22,039
Oh, boy, it's swell to say
7
00:00:22,073 --> 00:00:24,041
Good...
Good morning, USA
8
00:00:24,075 --> 00:00:34,267
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9
00:00:34,786 --> 00:00:36,153
This is some party!
10
00:00:36,187 --> 00:00:37,588
Hideki's doing it right.
11
00:00:37,622 --> 00:00:39,390
He's doing it exactly right.
12
00:00:39,424 --> 00:00:42,259
This is one of the craziest
parties I've ever been to.
13
00:00:42,294 --> 00:00:44,562
And as you know,
I'm friend..I'm friendly.
14
00:00:44,596 --> 00:00:47,231
I'm friendsly with Shaun White.
15
00:00:50,602 --> 00:00:52,603
Oh, my God.
16
00:00:52,637 --> 00:00:55,673
Is that... Donna
Nicole Marie Banelli?
17
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:58,909
Hey, Banelli, you got a lot
of nerve showing up here!
18
00:00:58,944 --> 00:01:00,444
WOMAN:
So what? So what?
19
00:01:00,478 --> 00:01:02,880
It's a free world.
So what?
20
00:01:02,914 --> 00:01:04,415
Excuse me, Stan.
21
00:01:04,449 --> 00:01:08,018
That's the bitch who gave all
my ideas to Michael Crichton.
22
00:01:08,053 --> 00:01:10,020
Hideki!
Happy birthday, man!
23
00:01:10,055 --> 00:01:11,655
You're doing it just right!
24
00:01:11,690 --> 00:01:13,157
This party,
25
00:01:13,191 --> 00:01:15,960
that double-breasted jacket
you're wearing with corduroys,
26
00:01:15,994 --> 00:01:17,328
the '70s pornography
27
00:01:17,362 --> 00:01:19,163
you're projecting
on the wall outside.
28
00:01:19,197 --> 00:01:20,531
These two things here.
29
00:01:20,565 --> 00:01:23,233
These are the last two
Etruscan urns in existence.
30
00:01:23,268 --> 00:01:26,670
Geez, Hide, how do you do it?
31
00:01:26,705 --> 00:01:30,007
You can have anything you want
if you just trust your gut.
32
00:01:30,041 --> 00:01:31,475
I don't always understand
33
00:01:31,509 --> 00:01:33,844
why my gut is telling me
to do something,
34
00:01:33,878 --> 00:01:38,616
but I always do it, because
it has never steered me wrong.
35
00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:40,417
(stomach grumbles loudly)
36
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,088
Oh, my God,
you destroyed one of the urns!
37
00:01:44,122 --> 00:01:47,358
Making this one the
last one in existence.
38
00:01:47,392 --> 00:01:48,659
It's priceless now!
39
00:01:48,693 --> 00:01:50,427
Ha, that's right.
40
00:01:50,462 --> 00:01:52,563
Thank you, gut.
41
00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:55,265
So, what happened?
42
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:56,634
Eh, wasn't her.
43
00:02:00,205 --> 00:02:03,974
And now, the final Lego
to complete our official entry
44
00:02:04,009 --> 00:02:06,944
into the tri-county
Lego competition!
45
00:02:06,978 --> 00:02:09,947
The four stages of Ron Howard.
46
00:02:09,981 --> 00:02:12,216
STEVE:
Opie, Richie Cunningham
47
00:02:12,250 --> 00:02:14,318
and Ron Howard,
the director with...
48
00:02:14,352 --> 00:02:15,886
and without hat.
49
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,221
Not bad.
50
00:02:17,255 --> 00:02:19,957
I love it, and I still don't
know who Ron Howard is.
51
00:02:19,991 --> 00:02:21,425
What, are you an idiot?
52
00:02:21,459 --> 00:02:23,227
He's only one
of the most popular
53
00:02:23,261 --> 00:02:25,496
mainstream directors
of our time.
54
00:02:25,530 --> 00:02:27,231
Eh, Ron Howard's okay,
55
00:02:27,265 --> 00:02:28,666
but I prefer indie films.
56
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:29,900
(sniffs)
57
00:02:29,934 --> 00:02:31,068
(sniffing)
58
00:02:31,102 --> 00:02:32,236
Wait a minute.
59
00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:33,637
Do you smell that?
60
00:02:33,672 --> 00:02:37,141
Corned beef, tongue,
whitefish salad.
61
00:02:37,175 --> 00:02:38,575
Oh, no.
62
00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:39,810
A deli platter.
63
00:02:39,844 --> 00:02:42,646
That can only mean one thing.
64
00:02:43,782 --> 00:02:46,250
Mom, who died?
65
00:02:46,284 --> 00:02:48,686
Schmuely.
66
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,387
Uncle Ira?
67
00:02:50,422 --> 00:02:52,856
What are you doing here?
68
00:02:52,891 --> 00:02:54,258
How shall I put this?
69
00:02:54,292 --> 00:02:55,693
You're a child,
70
00:02:55,727 --> 00:02:58,395
and you're gonna remember this
for the rest of your life,
71
00:02:58,430 --> 00:03:00,798
so I want to make sure
I say this right.
72
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:03,434
(shouting):
Your dad is dead!
73
00:03:03,468 --> 00:03:07,738
He's dead!
74
00:03:10,275 --> 00:03:12,242
Man, that Hideki does it right.
75
00:03:12,277 --> 00:03:13,977
What a perfect party.
76
00:03:14,012 --> 00:03:16,013
Well, not entirely perfect.
77
00:03:16,047 --> 00:03:18,082
The cake?
You noticed, too?
78
00:03:18,116 --> 00:03:20,150
ROGER: Don't you hate it
when you're at a party
79
00:03:20,185 --> 00:03:22,753
and you have to wait, like,forever for a piece of cake?
80
00:03:22,787 --> 00:03:24,421
STAN: Yeah, but they have
to cut the cake somehow.
81
00:03:24,456 --> 00:03:25,889
But what if they didn't?
82
00:03:25,924 --> 00:03:27,444
You mean, what ifthey got enough cakes
83
00:03:27,459 --> 00:03:29,560
to give each and everyperson their own entire cake?
84
00:03:29,594 --> 00:03:31,462
No, that's not whatI'm talking about at all.
85
00:03:31,496 --> 00:03:34,531
I mean, what if there was someway to cut all the pieces...
86
00:03:34,566 --> 00:03:35,933
ROGER and STAN:
At the same time?
87
00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:37,067
STAN:
Like some sort of...
88
00:03:37,102 --> 00:03:38,402
ROGER:
Gridded wire blade system
89
00:03:38,436 --> 00:03:39,937
that could quicklyand conveniently...
90
00:03:39,971 --> 00:03:41,572
Dice the cake intoappropriately-sized pieces
91
00:03:41,606 --> 00:03:42,873
with one simple cut?
92
00:03:42,907 --> 00:03:44,441
Yes! It could even bedishwasher-safe,
93
00:03:44,476 --> 00:03:45,676
and the wire blades could...
94
00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:47,244
Roll into the handles
95
00:03:47,278 --> 00:03:49,079
so it would fit in a kitchen drawer for...Easy...
96
00:03:49,114 --> 00:03:50,354
- No...
- Nonsense... - Storage?
97
00:03:50,381 --> 00:03:51,648
We could call it"Piece of Cake"
98
00:03:51,683 --> 00:03:53,317
because it makescutting a piece of cake...
99
00:03:53,351 --> 00:03:54,718
A piece of cake!
100
00:03:54,753 --> 00:03:55,919
(Stan's stomach grumbles loudly)
101
00:03:55,954 --> 00:03:57,087
What was that?
102
00:03:57,122 --> 00:03:58,956
I think that
was... my gut.
103
00:03:58,990 --> 00:04:01,358
Oh, my God, this
is just like Hideki!
104
00:04:01,392 --> 00:04:03,327
If we listen to it,
we'll get rich!
105
00:04:03,361 --> 00:04:04,995
Do you really think
it could work?
106
00:04:05,029 --> 00:04:06,309
(Roger's stomach
grumbles loudly)
107
00:04:06,331 --> 00:04:08,232
I think someone does.
108
00:04:08,266 --> 00:04:09,433
(both stomachs grumbling
in harmony)
109
00:04:09,467 --> 00:04:12,169
They need to be together.
110
00:04:12,203 --> 00:04:13,737
(grumbling nearby)
111
00:04:13,772 --> 00:04:15,172
What's that?
112
00:04:15,206 --> 00:04:17,508
Need an investor?
113
00:04:18,977 --> 00:04:20,878
Oh, my God,
we're really doing this!
114
00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:22,579
I know, it's really
gonna happen!
115
00:04:22,614 --> 00:04:24,648
And the best part is we'll be...
116
00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:27,851
equal partners.
117
00:04:27,886 --> 00:04:30,788
With only a verbal contract
based on trust.
118
00:04:30,822 --> 00:04:33,590
What more is necessary
among friends?
119
00:04:33,625 --> 00:04:35,626
(maniacal laughter)
120
00:04:37,195 --> 00:04:39,196
(stomach growling intensifies)
(car alarm blaring)
121
00:04:45,336 --> 00:04:46,303
Snot?
122
00:04:46,337 --> 00:04:47,704
Wh-What are you doing here?
123
00:04:47,739 --> 00:04:49,373
Why aren't you
at your dad's funeral?
124
00:04:49,407 --> 00:04:50,707
I'm not going.
125
00:04:50,742 --> 00:04:53,544
You're not going
to your own dad's funeral?
126
00:04:53,578 --> 00:04:55,345
It's all the way in Stockton.
127
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:56,747
And my mom isn't going.
128
00:04:56,781 --> 00:04:58,482
And besides,
I didn't even know him.
129
00:04:58,516 --> 00:05:01,118
At best, we were... "friendsly."
130
00:05:01,152 --> 00:05:03,554
Now, come on, we're gonna be
late for the Lego competition.
131
00:05:03,588 --> 00:05:04,721
Whoa, whoa.
132
00:05:04,756 --> 00:05:06,657
You're not going
to the Lego competition.
133
00:05:06,691 --> 00:05:08,792
Snot, if you don't go
to your dad's funeral,
134
00:05:08,827 --> 00:05:10,961
you're gonna regret it
for the rest of your life.
135
00:05:10,995 --> 00:05:12,830
Like when I cut off
my rat tail.
136
00:05:12,864 --> 00:05:14,832
Steve, this is not
a big deal to me.
137
00:05:14,866 --> 00:05:16,200
I really don't care.
138
00:05:16,234 --> 00:05:18,202
Because you're in denial.
139
00:05:18,236 --> 00:05:20,337
Hmm, how do I make this
clear to you?
140
00:05:22,207 --> 00:05:23,207
Opie!
141
00:05:23,241 --> 00:05:24,708
What the hell, Steve?
142
00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:25,709
New plan.
143
00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:27,311
Barry, how much gas you got?
144
00:05:27,345 --> 00:05:28,879
A half tank,
but it's a big tank.
145
00:05:28,913 --> 00:05:29,980
Why?
146
00:05:30,014 --> 00:05:33,383
Because we're going
to California.
147
00:05:33,418 --> 00:05:36,220
We're taking Snot
to his dad's funeral.
148
00:05:36,254 --> 00:05:38,255
I said I don't want to go.
149
00:05:38,289 --> 00:05:39,857
Snot, come on.
150
00:05:39,891 --> 00:05:41,358
You know what you
would do right now
151
00:05:41,392 --> 00:05:43,160
if this were one
of your indie movies.
152
00:05:43,194 --> 00:05:44,728
You'd drop everything
you were doing,
153
00:05:44,762 --> 00:05:47,331
hop in this car
and take a cross-country trip
154
00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:49,700
to your estranged
father's funeral.
155
00:05:49,734 --> 00:05:51,235
And you know
where your best friends
156
00:05:51,269 --> 00:05:53,370
in the whole world are gonna be?
157
00:05:53,404 --> 00:05:56,673
Right there beside you
every step of the way.
158
00:05:58,209 --> 00:06:00,944
I care about you way too much
159
00:06:00,979 --> 00:06:02,613
to let you miss something
this big.
160
00:06:02,647 --> 00:06:04,448
Fine, but I'm telling you,
161
00:06:04,482 --> 00:06:07,451
I'm gonna get to that funeral
and still not feel anything
162
00:06:07,485 --> 00:06:08,886
about my dad dying.
163
00:06:08,920 --> 00:06:12,222
I promise you, buddy,
by the time we get there,
164
00:06:12,257 --> 00:06:14,958
you're gonna be
an emotional wreck.
165
00:06:14,993 --> 00:06:16,727
166
00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:43,344
I want you to move
to California for yourself
167
00:06:52,850 --> 00:06:54,951
STEVE: We went out in search
of a way to say good-bye
168
00:06:54,985 --> 00:06:56,653
to an absent father,
169
00:06:56,687 --> 00:06:58,154
but we founda lot more than that.
170
00:06:58,189 --> 00:07:00,523
We found each other.
171
00:07:02,059 --> 00:07:04,027
Not to mention ourselves.
172
00:07:04,061 --> 00:07:06,663
And like the open road...
173
00:07:06,697 --> 00:07:09,532
we are infinite.
174
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:12,402
Will you shut up?
175
00:07:12,436 --> 00:07:14,871
You've been narrating
for four hours.
176
00:07:18,442 --> 00:07:21,110
I can't believe
your dad is dead.
177
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,614
Hey, how you doing?
178
00:07:24,648 --> 00:07:25,949
Fine.
179
00:07:25,983 --> 00:07:28,284
My dad was never there
for me when he was alive,
180
00:07:28,319 --> 00:07:29,999
so it doesn't feel
like anything's changed.
181
00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:32,922
I mean, he was in and out
of my life until I was eight,
182
00:07:32,957 --> 00:07:35,191
and then he disappeared
completely.
183
00:07:36,894 --> 00:07:39,362
I used to get all excited
when he was around
184
00:07:39,396 --> 00:07:41,531
'cause he'd give me Cheetos
for breakfast.
185
00:07:41,565 --> 00:07:44,167
It wasn't until I got older
that I came to understand
186
00:07:44,201 --> 00:07:47,270
that he did that because
he didn't care about me at all.
187
00:07:47,304 --> 00:07:49,739
He didn't even care enough
to get me real Cheetos.
188
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:53,476
It was some off-brand knockoff
called "Cheese O's."
189
00:07:53,510 --> 00:07:56,145
I had no idea
that while I was swimming
190
00:07:56,180 --> 00:07:58,314
in name-brand snack foods,
191
00:07:58,349 --> 00:08:01,184
everything was so weird for you.
192
00:08:01,218 --> 00:08:02,919
I'm gonna need a minute, guys.
193
00:08:02,953 --> 00:08:04,954
(crying)
194
00:08:06,857 --> 00:08:10,159
SNOT: Look, there's a
lonely hitchhiker.
195
00:08:10,194 --> 00:08:13,429
Let's pick him up
and you can analyze him.
196
00:08:20,938 --> 00:08:22,372
Whew, thanks for the ride.
197
00:08:22,406 --> 00:08:24,741
I was standing out there
for quite a while.
198
00:08:24,775 --> 00:08:26,075
It's cool, man.
199
00:08:26,110 --> 00:08:28,244
We're on a pretty
heavy trip ourselves.
200
00:08:28,279 --> 00:08:29,946
His dad died.
201
00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:31,614
So, yeah, there's that.
202
00:08:31,649 --> 00:08:34,117
Oh, I'm sorry
to hear about that.
203
00:08:34,151 --> 00:08:35,585
Thanks, but I didn't really...
204
00:08:35,619 --> 00:08:37,220
Yeah.
205
00:08:37,254 --> 00:08:40,290
It's been pretty rough
on all of us.
206
00:08:40,324 --> 00:08:42,025
Barry, pull over.
207
00:08:42,059 --> 00:08:45,261
We need to wander
around the woods.
208
00:08:46,764 --> 00:08:48,531
You've been running
from your feelings, Snot.
209
00:08:48,565 --> 00:08:50,633
But that ends here.
210
00:08:50,668 --> 00:08:52,902
The only thing
more natural than nature
211
00:08:52,937 --> 00:08:54,804
is feelings.
212
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,639
Okay, I'm out.
213
00:08:56,674 --> 00:08:58,541
I don't think I can
relate to this journey.
214
00:08:58,575 --> 00:09:00,643
The truth is I have a
serious meth addiction
215
00:09:00,678 --> 00:09:02,912
and I need to get to an
underpass before nightfall.
216
00:09:02,947 --> 00:09:05,081
Good luck and Godspeed.
217
00:09:07,518 --> 00:09:09,519
(birds chirping)
218
00:09:26,036 --> 00:09:28,604
That could be
your dad right now.
219
00:09:28,639 --> 00:09:30,873
Ca-caw!
220
00:09:30,908 --> 00:09:32,909
221
00:10:00,304 --> 00:10:03,039
222
00:10:32,102 --> 00:10:34,103
223
00:10:42,546 --> 00:10:44,547
What the hell is that thing?
224
00:10:44,581 --> 00:10:46,249
It represents your dad.
225
00:10:46,283 --> 00:10:49,752
I was thinking you could scream
at it or burn it or something.
226
00:10:49,787 --> 00:10:51,054
I'm not gonna do that.
227
00:10:51,088 --> 00:10:53,056
Snot, you need to process this!
228
00:10:53,090 --> 00:10:54,590
This is a big deal!
229
00:10:54,625 --> 00:10:56,159
Yeah, it's my big deal!
230
00:10:56,193 --> 00:10:58,027
And I am not gonna
pretend to have
231
00:10:58,062 --> 00:11:00,596
some big theatrical
reaction to this
232
00:11:00,631 --> 00:11:02,899
just to make you happy!
233
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:04,934
But you should have
some reaction.
234
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,335
You have to feel something!
235
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:07,804
He was your dad.
236
00:11:07,838 --> 00:11:09,338
And now he's gone.
237
00:11:10,374 --> 00:11:12,408
We're all gonna die, Steven!
238
00:11:12,443 --> 00:11:14,010
I'm gonna die!
239
00:11:14,044 --> 00:11:15,378
You're gonna die!
240
00:11:15,412 --> 00:11:17,914
Everyone dies!
(thunder crashes)
241
00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:20,349
Do you really think any of this
242
00:11:20,384 --> 00:11:22,552
is going to last forever?
243
00:11:22,586 --> 00:11:24,153
'Cause it's not!
244
00:11:24,188 --> 00:11:26,556
Your dad's death
is tearing us apart!
245
00:11:28,225 --> 00:11:30,193
(grunting)
246
00:11:30,227 --> 00:11:32,829
(sobbing)
247
00:11:32,863 --> 00:11:36,399
We are all alone
in the universe.
248
00:11:36,433 --> 00:11:37,633
We are not alone!
249
00:11:37,668 --> 00:11:39,202
We're in this together!
250
00:11:39,236 --> 00:11:43,239
We are born alone
and we die alone.
251
00:11:43,273 --> 00:11:45,374
Why am I here?
252
00:11:45,409 --> 00:11:46,375
(thunder crashes)
253
00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:48,578
I don't know why I'm here.
254
00:11:48,612 --> 00:11:50,513
Wait a minute.
Where's Toshi?
255
00:11:50,547 --> 00:11:51,948
Toshi?
256
00:11:51,982 --> 00:11:54,117
Tosh!
257
00:11:57,521 --> 00:11:59,021
BARRY:
Toshi!
258
00:11:59,056 --> 00:12:00,923
Toshi, where are you?
259
00:12:00,958 --> 00:12:02,825
Toshi, please come back!
260
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:05,528
Toshi!
261
00:12:11,735 --> 00:12:13,736
(panting)
262
00:12:15,506 --> 00:12:18,541
It's so hot in this corn.
263
00:12:18,575 --> 00:12:20,476
STEVE:
I found him!
264
00:12:28,585 --> 00:12:30,219
What are you talking about?
265
00:12:35,192 --> 00:12:37,059
Please go.
266
00:12:51,842 --> 00:12:54,076
The secret to
the "Piece of Cake" system
267
00:12:54,111 --> 00:12:56,112
is the real aluminum wire,
268
00:12:56,146 --> 00:12:58,147
which is spun to perfection
in China.
269
00:12:58,182 --> 00:13:00,249
Where they know
how to spin wire.
270
00:13:00,284 --> 00:13:01,918
This wire is safe to touch.
271
00:13:01,952 --> 00:13:03,920
You will not cut yourself
on this wire.
272
00:13:03,954 --> 00:13:05,988
This wire retracts into
the handles for easy storage.
273
00:13:06,023 --> 00:13:08,057
I could just go on and on
about this wire,
274
00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,392
but the real proof
is in the puddin',
275
00:13:09,426 --> 00:13:11,027
or the cake,
as I should have said,
276
00:13:11,061 --> 00:13:12,695
because we are about
to slice up some cake!
277
00:13:12,729 --> 00:13:13,763
I don't know about you,
278
00:13:13,797 --> 00:13:16,832
but I am glad I came
to work today.
279
00:13:16,867 --> 00:13:18,534
Now, just watch this.
Look at this.
280
00:13:18,569 --> 00:13:20,036
Watch and see how
amazing this is.
281
00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:21,437
Look! Look! Look! Look!
282
00:13:21,471 --> 00:13:22,872
Look at this!
Look at this! Look!
283
00:13:22,906 --> 00:13:25,641
Now, I've heard stories
of people running this system
284
00:13:25,676 --> 00:13:29,278
under hot water
and using it on ice-cream cake!
285
00:13:32,950 --> 00:13:35,084
We don't have time to
dillydally, so we're just
286
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,552
going to get a room, shower up,
287
00:13:36,587 --> 00:13:38,788
and then get right back
on the road.
288
00:13:51,201 --> 00:13:52,602
Um, hi.
289
00:13:52,636 --> 00:13:54,837
Uh, can I help you
with your cello?
290
00:13:54,871 --> 00:13:56,806
No. It's my suitcase.
291
00:13:56,840 --> 00:13:58,541
I just don't think
all suitcases
292
00:13:58,575 --> 00:14:00,076
should be rectangles, you know?
293
00:14:00,110 --> 00:14:01,477
I think sometimes suitcases
294
00:14:01,511 --> 00:14:03,646
can be cello cases
with clothes in them.
295
00:14:04,982 --> 00:14:06,482
What are you doing here?
296
00:14:06,516 --> 00:14:08,784
I'm traveling cross-country
taking Polaroid pictures
297
00:14:08,819 --> 00:14:11,053
of people walking
other people's dogs.
298
00:14:11,088 --> 00:14:12,455
It's pretty hard to tell,
299
00:14:12,489 --> 00:14:13,889
but I didn't become an artist
300
00:14:13,924 --> 00:14:15,558
because it was easy.
301
00:14:15,592 --> 00:14:16,926
You're amazing.
302
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:19,562
I'm actually a total dork.
303
00:14:19,596 --> 00:14:21,464
I got to get something to eat.
304
00:14:21,498 --> 00:14:23,299
I'm starving.
305
00:14:24,868 --> 00:14:27,503
(fluorescent lights humming)
306
00:14:34,144 --> 00:14:36,145
(coins clatter
into vending machine)
307
00:15:03,507 --> 00:15:08,678
Where were you?!
Where were you?!
308
00:15:08,712 --> 00:15:10,279
Where were you?!
309
00:15:10,314 --> 00:15:12,214
(sobbing)
310
00:15:28,065 --> 00:15:29,465
WOMAN:
Move.
311
00:15:29,499 --> 00:15:33,169
You can move that way
or you can move that way,
312
00:15:33,203 --> 00:15:35,204
but you got to move.
313
00:15:39,343 --> 00:15:41,544
You're right.
314
00:15:41,578 --> 00:15:43,913
I've been frozen inside.
315
00:15:43,947 --> 00:15:45,314
Stuck.
316
00:15:45,349 --> 00:15:46,349
Now I understand
317
00:15:46,383 --> 00:15:48,317
what Steve was trying
to do for me.
318
00:15:48,352 --> 00:15:50,519
I got to get to this funeral.
319
00:15:50,554 --> 00:15:52,521
I've got to move.
320
00:15:52,556 --> 00:15:53,889
Yes, move.
321
00:15:53,924 --> 00:15:55,358
I must clean.
322
00:15:55,392 --> 00:15:57,927
Frat boys poop all over room.
323
00:15:57,961 --> 00:16:00,129
And in the lobby!
324
00:16:00,163 --> 00:16:03,833
They only do this
'cause I Tri Delt.
325
00:16:08,023 --> 00:16:10,191
Yeah, so his dad is dead
326
00:16:10,225 --> 00:16:11,793
and we're heading
to the funeral.
327
00:16:11,827 --> 00:16:13,261
It's rough, because his dad
328
00:16:13,295 --> 00:16:15,196
was never really
there for him, so...
329
00:16:15,230 --> 00:16:17,432
you know,
it's-it's rough.
330
00:16:17,466 --> 00:16:19,534
He's also pretty poor.
331
00:16:19,568 --> 00:16:21,135
Well, with a friend like you,
332
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:23,538
he's got more than most.
333
00:16:26,575 --> 00:16:28,376
(whispering): I'm gonna
leave this picture
334
00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:29,877
at a gas station.
335
00:16:34,683 --> 00:16:35,917
Steve, I get it now.
336
00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:38,086
I get why I have to go
to my dad's funeral.
337
00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,587
And I owe it all to you.
338
00:16:39,621 --> 00:16:40,688
That-that's great, buddy.
339
00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:42,390
And I want to talk all about it
340
00:16:42,424 --> 00:16:43,524
the minute you get back.
341
00:16:43,559 --> 00:16:45,560
Just you and me
in the buddy closet.
342
00:16:45,594 --> 00:16:48,930
You're not going with me
to my dad's funeral?
343
00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:51,499
I would love to,
but-but this girl,
344
00:16:51,533 --> 00:16:54,268
this-this incredibly
hard-to-define girl...
345
00:16:56,605 --> 00:16:58,005
I think she's the one.
346
00:16:58,040 --> 00:16:59,540
And that I would meet her now,
347
00:16:59,575 --> 00:17:01,376
while you're going
through your thing...
348
00:17:01,410 --> 00:17:03,010
what wonderfully
transformative time
349
00:17:03,045 --> 00:17:04,212
for both of us!
350
00:17:04,246 --> 00:17:05,279
But...
351
00:17:05,314 --> 00:17:06,781
(grunts) Life.
352
00:17:06,815 --> 00:17:08,383
Am I right?
353
00:17:13,389 --> 00:17:15,456
I can't believe Steve bailed
354
00:17:15,491 --> 00:17:17,258
after everything
we've been through.
355
00:17:17,292 --> 00:17:19,694
Thanks for being here
for me, Barry.
356
00:17:19,728 --> 00:17:21,396
Hey, I just feel good
357
00:17:21,430 --> 00:17:23,431
taking you to your
dad's funeral.
358
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:39,013
359
00:17:42,851 --> 00:17:45,987
I just realized
I don't know your name.
360
00:17:46,021 --> 00:17:47,221
I could tell you my name,
361
00:17:47,256 --> 00:17:48,556
but would my name tell you
362
00:17:48,590 --> 00:17:50,992
that I'm incapable
of seeing the color orange?
363
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:53,828
I just have to trust people
who give me these.
364
00:17:53,862 --> 00:17:57,131
Or that I think mustaches
are T-shirts for lips?
365
00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:59,801
Or that I wear
ice skates to weddings?
366
00:17:59,835 --> 00:18:01,569
It's hard to dance.
367
00:18:01,603 --> 00:18:04,071
But that's just the
type of person I am.
368
00:18:06,542 --> 00:18:07,842
I'm Steve.
369
00:18:07,876 --> 00:18:09,544
I'm the kind of guy
who drives cross-country
370
00:18:09,578 --> 00:18:11,612
to take his friend
to his old man's funeral,
371
00:18:11,647 --> 00:18:13,448
then gives it all up
when he finds
372
00:18:13,482 --> 00:18:16,217
his manic, pixie dream girl
along the way.
373
00:18:16,251 --> 00:18:17,552
Wait a minute.
374
00:18:17,586 --> 00:18:19,153
You blew off your
grieving friend
375
00:18:19,188 --> 00:18:22,023
to hang out in a hot tub
with a complete stranger?
376
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:23,024
No.
377
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:24,625
No, you don't understand.
378
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,761
I helped him get in touch
with his sadness.
379
00:18:26,795 --> 00:18:29,730
I'm the only reason
he even went to the funeral.
380
00:18:29,765 --> 00:18:31,799
Oh, I just figured you out.
381
00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:33,835
You're an emotional tourist.
382
00:18:36,705 --> 00:18:37,672
A what?
383
00:18:37,706 --> 00:18:38,940
You're the kind of person
384
00:18:38,974 --> 00:18:40,741
who feeds off
other's experiences
385
00:18:40,776 --> 00:18:43,277
to fill the void inside of you.
386
00:18:43,312 --> 00:18:44,512
An emotional tourist.
387
00:18:44,546 --> 00:18:45,813
And I'm sorry,
388
00:18:45,848 --> 00:18:47,748
but that's not the
trip I packed for.
389
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:53,721
(panting)
390
00:19:10,038 --> 00:19:12,473
STEVE:
We're all searching.
391
00:19:12,508 --> 00:19:14,008
For something.
392
00:19:14,042 --> 00:19:16,043
Something that makes usfeel alive.
393
00:19:21,049 --> 00:19:23,050
Something to connect us.
394
00:19:29,625 --> 00:19:31,592
395
00:19:31,627 --> 00:19:33,628
To give our lives meaning.
396
00:19:37,766 --> 00:19:40,167
But sometimes when you'researching for something,
397
00:19:40,202 --> 00:19:42,703
the worst thingthat can happen is...
398
00:19:42,738 --> 00:19:44,672
you find it.
399
00:19:48,110 --> 00:19:49,110
Well, we made it.
400
00:19:52,314 --> 00:19:54,148
(sniffs)
401
00:19:59,721 --> 00:20:02,189
So, now what?
402
00:20:02,224 --> 00:20:04,425
Just drive.
403
00:20:04,459 --> 00:20:07,228
A railroad gypsy took
away my vas deferens,
404
00:20:07,262 --> 00:20:09,230
but you are bumming me out.
405
00:20:09,264 --> 00:20:11,365
(sniffs)
406
00:20:26,782 --> 00:20:28,916
STEVE: I should have
gotten out of the truck
407
00:20:28,951 --> 00:20:30,585
and given Snot a hug...
408
00:20:30,619 --> 00:20:32,219
but I couldn't face him.
409
00:20:32,254 --> 00:20:34,755
I chose a girlover my best friend.
410
00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:37,658
And it'll haunt methe rest of my life.
411
00:20:39,695 --> 00:20:42,897
TRUCK DRIVER: I've seen a lot of
strange things in my long life,
412
00:20:42,931 --> 00:20:44,398
in between the blinks,
413
00:20:44,433 --> 00:20:46,763
but that was definitelythe weirdest kid
414
00:20:46,883 --> 00:20:48,901
I ever drove awayfrom a funeral.
415
00:20:49,508 --> 00:20:51,440
And I'm usually upfor anything.
416
00:20:51,772 --> 00:21:02,190
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
417
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:06,790
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