All language subtitles for The Love Boat S03E21 Another Time Another Place 1080p WEB-DL AAC2 0 H 264-squalor_track3_[eng]

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

Celia, dear. Celia.

You must watch your posture.
Stand straight, darling.

And I wish you had worn the
taffeta.

This print just doesn't do a
thing for your problem skin.

I like this dress, mother.

Well, I certainly hope

there are gonna be suitable
young men this time.

The last three --

Mrs. Elliot, Celia.

Why, Dr. Bricker,
you remembered us.

Who could forget?

Well, well, well. So, he
couldn't forget you.

Oh, come on.
He was just being polite.

Wouldn't that be marvelous --
Dr. and Mrs. Adam bricker?

You just leave things to me,
my dear,

and before this trip is over,

we just might have a
professional man in the family.

Welcome aboard.

Thank you.

Oh, hello, sir.

Hello. Has a Mr. Steve Brian
been asking for me?

Oh, he's not a passenger.

He's just an old friend who said
he'd stop by before we sail.

No, I haven't seen him.

Hmm. Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, hello. Welcome aboard.

I'm sister Patricia.

We've been expecting you,
sister.

You're going to acapulco?

Yes.
It's my new assignment.

Captain, I want to thank you
and the steamship line

for your generosity for my
transportation.

I don't know how else I would
have gotten there.

This airline strike is
terrible.

It's our pleasure to have you
with us.

Oh, by the way,

do you happen to have a
paddle-ball court onboard?

Well, yes, but, uh, won't it be
difficult for you

to play in your habit?

Well, it wouldn't be very
comfortable,

but [chuckles]
I have other clothes.

Oh, yes. Times have changed.

Yes, they have.

In some orders, like mine, you
can wear anything you like.

Almost anything.

[ Telephone rings ]

Jones, Jon-- ah! Here we are.

Aloha 247 --
Dr. Wilferd Jones.

Uh, I-I wouldn't use the word
"doctor."

It's confusing. I'm not an m.D.
I'm a phd in astronomy.

On this cruise,

I'm gonna be checking out a
different kind of heavenly body.

Oh?

The ladies -- i-I've never been
too successful,

but this time, I'm ready.

I just finished a crash therapy
course

in "how to be a man for all
women."

And you passed?

This time, I'm gonna latch on to
the very first female I see,

and I am not gonna let go.

No, sirree --
the first one.

Excuse me.

Hi, there.

Well, hello yourself.

Well, maybe the second.

I was wondering if I could get a
telegraph form.

Oh, yes, of course.

I hope you enjoy the cruise.

This cruise looks like a
bummer.

Why?

No kids.

[ Laughs ]

Uh, excuse me, captain.

Yes?

I'd like to request a favor.

Mm-hmm.

I'm Dr. Marbey.

Yes.

The Dr. Marbey.

Author of "let sexual freedom
ring," a runaway bestseller

that tells everything about sex
from --

excuse me. I think Julie needs
some help.

So do I. Can't I stay?

Well...what can I do for you,
doctor?

I am desperately in need of
privacy,

so much so that I made my
reservation under another name.

I understand.

Good. Then I shall hold you
personally responsible

that nobody finds out that i'm
aboard.

Nobody.

I never met a real sex expert
before.

This cruise could be very
educational.

Vicki...

Excuse me.

Oh, hi!
Can I be of assistance?

I'm Adam bricker, the beloved
ship's doctor.

Oh, I think I'm in pretty good
shape.

I'll have to go along with you
on that.

Well, then, perhaps I could be
of help.

I'm assistant purser
burl Smith.

Well, actually, I'm looking for
another passenger,

a Dr. Michael marbey.

I've gotta meet him.

I don't have a marbey
listed.

Well, maybe he's under another
name.

Haven't you read his book on
sexual freedom? Here.

Ah. Oh, perhaps we can go over
it together.

I love bedtime stories.

Captain? Captain?

Yes?

I'm looking for a
Dr. Michael marbey.

Oh, uh, well, uh, have you, uh,
consulted the passenger list?

Uh, yes, but he's not
listed.

But I got a tip from a very
reliable source

that he is on this cruise,

so whatever name he's using, I
intend to find him.

Well, don't look at me.
I didn't blab.

Merrill!

Steve! Hey, I had almost given
you up.

Oh, this is my daughter,
Vicki.

How are we, little girl?

Nice to meet you.
Gotta go.

Okay.

Sorry I'm late, but maybe I can
make up for it.

I've got some big news.

Could you please tell me how to
send this wire to acapulco?

I want to confirm I'm on
my way.

Oh, I'll take care of that for
you.

Is anything the matter?

Well, uh, that man that the
captain's talking to --

do you know who he is?

No. Oh, wait.

That must be the friend
he's expecting.

Is his name Brian?

Yes, that's it -- Steve Brian.
Do you know him?

Yes.

Oh, well, if you want to talk to
him, you'll have to hurry.

I know he isn't going to be
sailing with us.

Oh, he isn't?
You're sure of that?

That's what the captain said, so
if you want to see him...

I do...[ Sighs ]

...but I won't.

I can't believe it.

Steve Brian giving up the
newspaper business,

a man who won
the pulitzer prize?

Merrill, all my life, I've done
nothing but work.

Never had time for anything
else.

Now it's going to be
different.

I'm gonna take a vacation --
a permanent one.

Your attention, please --
all ashore who are going ashore.

The ship will be sailing in
20 minutes.

Well, you heard. I'm sorry.

I got another little surprise --
I'm staying aboard.

I managed a last-minute
reservation.

Hey!

Thought this would be a good way
to start my newfound freedom.

It will be!

Miss McCoy?

Yes, sir?

Pass the word that this no-good
loafer is to be spoiled rotten.

Yes, sir.

You're gonna have the time of
your life on this cruise.

Who knows? You may even find
romance.

Me?
That would be a miracle.

This is the love boat.
We have miracles by the hour.

Come on.

[ Air horn blows ]

[ Cheering ]

How's the game going?

Fine.

Hi,
i'm, uh, wilferd Jones.

Hi.

Are you from California?

Uh-huh.

Me too.

Small world, isn't it?

Well, it's been nice talking to
you.

Putting on lotion --
good idea.

You know, it's strange how we
all want to get tan,

equating, uh, darkened epidermal
pigmentation with good health

when, actually,
the rays can --

Celia, dear,
I found a better spot.

So much for science.

Hey, how's the new approach
working, doctor?

Slow, very slow. Look, please
don't call me "doc."

Oh, sorry. I forgot.
Won't happen again.

Okay.

Hi.

Up here.

Mind if I join you?

No. Oh, no.
No, not at all.

Hi, I'm Evie sue Miller.

[ Chuckles ]
My -- i'm, uh, Jones.

Jones. I understand
completely.

And Jones -- not even
Dr. Jones.

I'm so happy to meet you.
Maybe I shouldn't intrude.

No, intrude, intrude.

You don't mind if I share your
little secret with you?

Oh, I promise I won't tell
anybody.

I can't believe this is
happening to me.

You know, there's a cozy bar
inside.

Why don't we go and talk?

Oh, certainly.
Oh, yes, yes.

You know, it's so obvious

I might as well just come out
flat and say it.

I get excited just being around
you, jonesy.

[ Laughs ]

It must have fallen off when I
was playing shuffleboard.

Okay, what did the ring look
like?

It's a cluster of gold flowers
with lots of little diamonds.

Mm. I'll tell you what --
let's go to the purser's office.

Maybe somebody turned it in.

What happened?

Ah, this piñata fell down,
and all the toys came out.

Hey. You forgot one.

[ Whistles ]
This is a real fooler.

This looks like genuine gold
with diamonds.

I'll sell it to you for a
nickel.

If I had that kind of money,
would I be working?

4 cents --
what do you say?

I say, "stuff it."

Oh, I'll never live it
down --

skunked at paddleboard by
a nun.

Oh, I'm a ringer, Vicki.

I went through the convent on an
athletic scholarship.

Patty feeny.

Why, Steve.

Is it really you?

Uh, as far as I can tell.

Well, this is incredible.

How long has it been --
25, 30 years?

Gotta go.
Here. I'll take that.

Thank you.

I was crazy about you.

[ Laughs ] Crazy, anyway.

That's no way to talk to
a guy

who carried your books all
through school

and shared his ice-cream
sodas.

Oh! Remember the night we went
swimming out on wooster lake

and the guy stole
our clothes?

I hardly know how to begin.

How are you?
How have you been?

I'm fine, and so are you.

You're very famous for
an ex-skinny-Dipper.

Are you married?

No. No, and I'm not famous,
either,

but I've had a very wonderful
life.

Look, I've got to get rid of
these ship-to-shore calls,

and I refuse to settle for a
quick chat.

Let's save it all for dinner.

We'll pick right up where we
left off 30 years ago.

Well [chuckles] not quite.

You know, meeting you just
now -- it's a godsend.

Godsend.

I really think a ship's
doctor

should make himself more
available.

He probably has patients
to care for.

Do be more careful of your
diction, dear.

Speak distinctly.

You are a college graduate,
you know,

and that will be very important
to him.

Isaac --

Yoo-hoo! Dr. B.

Uh, you called?

Celia and I were just going to
have a glass of wine.

Won't you join us?

Well, perhaps later,
but right now,

I've got to attend to
Mr. Washington here.

Dizzy spells.

Oh, dear. What is it?

Well, I just started feeling
faint.

Everything started going around
and around counterclockwise,

and that's the worst way.

Oh, well. We'll look for you
later.

Doc, doc...

You don't have to put up with
her.

Isaac, her husband is a major
shareholder in this cruise line.

[ Laughs ]

Now, what's so funny?

Well, I was just thinking -- if
Mrs. Elliot has her way,

we could all be working for
you.

[ Laughs ]

What a beautiful dress.

Oh! Thank you, captain.

It's a loaner, but it does beat
basic black, doesn't it?

Yes. Oh, Julie told me you're an
old friend of Steve Brian's,

from which
I cleverly figured out

that you must be the Patty feeny
he's been talking about.

He, uh, didn't refer to you as
"sister," so neither did I.

Well, I'll have to break
that to him.

Oh, speak of the devil.
Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't mean --

oh,
that's quite all right.

You may be closer to the truth
than you think.

Excuse me, captain.

Look, old flame or not,

no dinner until you answer a
question

that's been bothering me for 30
years.

Why didn't you write to me
when I was in the service?

But I did. My letters
didn't catch up with you.

And when they started coming
back, well, I just gave up.

I thought maybe you'd found
someone else.

If you had, I'd have
understood.

No, it wasn't that.

It was a very painful time,
Steve.

I really needed you.

You know, mother died, and my
brother --

bill?

Bill was missing in action.

I was really quite alone.

I-I didn't -- I just didn't want
to go on.

I wish I had known.

I tried to look you up
when I came back.

Well, I moved many times --

new faces and new places --

but nothing seemed to help.

And then, I decided that I had
to find an inner peace,

something within myself.

You seem to have found it.

I have...With god's help.

You said you weren't married.

Mnh-mnh.

Are a widow?

Unh-unh.

Divorce?

But you're wearing
a wedding ring.

Well, all nuns do.

I'm sister Patricia.

Sister Patricia?
Patty feeny -- a nun?

Well, you don't look like
a nun.

You can say that again.
That's incredible.

Look, uh, one more question.

I don't think two questions in
30 years is being too pushy.

[ Chuckles ]

Why didn't you tell me all this
this afternoon

when we first met?

I've been asking myself that
same thing.

The one thing about this
profession

is that you try to come up with
completely honest answers.

And the only answer I came up
with was very disturbing.

I guess...

I wanted to be Patty feeny just
for a minute.

I'm sorry, Steve.

Oh, no, no. That's great.

There'll be an evening
of dining and dancing

for both of you --
sister Patricia and Patty --

during which there may be
a couple of questions

for, uh, one of you.

Come on.

Join us tonight for
"gay '90s night"

in the acapulco lounge.

What is it that makes starlight
so romantic?

Because there is no such
thing.

Oh, come on.

No. That's sunlight.

Those are all suns far, far
away.

That's arcturus.

The light from there

has traveled 35 1/2 years to get
here tonight

so it could sparkle in your
eyes.

[ Laughs ] You're something.

You know, you're different than
any man I've ever been with.

I feel I could trust you.

I could tell you my problem,
and you'd understand.

Do you mind?

Go right ahead.

Your problem?

How could a beautiful girl
like you have a problem?

That is the problem.

It's just that, well, I
developed at an early age,

and I feel that men have an
immediate conclusion about me.

I mean, they see the body,

and they don't bother to look
for anything else.

That's been my trouble, too, in
a reverse way.

Girls see a short, studious guy
and become instant sprinters.

I dealt with it
by withdrawing.

Oh, sure --
you, a famous sex expert.

[ Chuckles ]

Sex expert?

Well, that's what people think
of you, Dr. Marbey.

Oh, I know I'm not supposed to
use your real name.

Oh, I've offended you.
Nobody heard us.

You mean all the time,
you've been thinking --

hey.

All I want from you...

Is for you to go
to my cabin...

And autograph my book.

You, uh -- your cabin?

Dr. Marbey is pleased to
oblige.

♪ You were 16 ♪

♪ you were 16 ♪

♪ my village queen ♪

♪ my village queen ♪

♪ down by the old mill stream ♪

♪ the old mill stream ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

You were great, Vicki, great,

but I think it's your
bedtime.

Oh! How can you hang a curfew on
an old guy with a moustache?

Still your bedtime.

I love you, captain merrill,
but you're a party pooper.

Good night.

Good night.

Really, darling -- that hat.

And don't toy with your
glass.

Oh, that poor girl -- her mother
never leaves her alone.

Gopher, ask her to dance.

Okay, but I don't know a step
the three of us can do.

[ Laughs ]

Ooh! Nice touch.

Good evening, everyone.

Hi, gopher.

Have you seen the doctor?

Uh, no, but don't worry about
it. This is my natural color.

Oh, Mrs. Elliot is looking for
you.

Captain, the passenger
that lost her ring,

she's still very upset.

Well, post a notice.
Did you get a description?

Yes, sir. She said the ring
is a cluster of gold flowers

with a lot of little
diamonds.

Said it's worth $5,000.

Is she still here?

$5,000!

[ French accent ]
Ah, gigi...

Thank heaven for
pretty girls.

[ French accent]
Mon frère, vous êtes bananas.

Mademoiselle, I must make to you
the, uh, confession.

I am not a poor stowaway.

I am, instead,
Henri D'Artagnan,

a rich, wealthy millionaire.

Whoa!

Ah, Oui!

Please accept this small,
uh, bauble from mon coeur.

And wear it always...Gigi.

[ Normal voice ] Celia,
I mean this --

you're a really great girl.

Things are gonna start coming
your way.

Oh, there you are.
Come, dear.

This night air --
you'll get a chill.

Good night, gopher.

[ French accent ]
Bonsoir, ma cherie.

Come, Celia.

You know how susceptible you are
to cold.

Sister Patricia, I have very
great respect for you,

but if you don't mind, I'd like
to talk with Patty feeny.

Well, I'm sorry, but she's
washing her hair.

Is there a message?

Yes. There is a message.
It's a very simple one.

Tell her that, uh,

i want to spend the rest
of my life with her.

I was hoping that that's
what you would want, too.

Oh, well, that's impossible.

Why?

When I saw you this afternoon,
I --

I knew what was missing in my
life.

I have a commitment.

Had a commitment.
I had one, too.

We both served our time.

Steve...
I like what I do.

In 48 hours,
I'll be in acapulco

with my children
in the convent school,

and you -- well,
you'll be where you are.

And we'll both be back on
track.

Right now, I think we're living
a little in the past.

I'm not talking past.
I'm talking future.

Well, old honesty makes me
admit

that I've always been attracted
to you,

but, Steve,
the church is my life,

and I can't change.

Why?

Come on. Give me a hand.
It's gotta be in one of these.

What's gotta be in one of
these?

A $5,000 diamond ring.

Hey, listen, why don't you
just lie down and relax?

How can I with 5 grand worth of
diamonds in one of these birds?

Well, maybe it's in one of the
cute little fishies.

Racing car, tank,
but no diamond ring!

Well, those are the breaks.

You saw it.

Remember that ring I found?
It's real!

What do you mean it's real?

A passenger lost it --
$5,000 real!

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I didn't put it in there.
I kept it.

That's a relief.
Well, let's have it.

I gave it to Celia for a
joke.

Well, unless you can afford
5 grand for a laugh,

you better get it back.

I'm sure he was only making a
joke.

Oh, never.

On the kind of money that boy
makes,

he could never afford this kind
of a joke.

Only an assistant purser --

we'll have to do something
about that.

A quick promotion!
Your father can arrange it.

No, mother, please --

I was hoping for the doctor,

but, well,
beggars can't be choosers.

I hardly even know him.

Oh, please, dear, don't bother
me with trifles.

Now, the thing that we have to
do is find a decent caterer

who can do something besides
a soggy quiche.

[ Knock on door ]

For the wedding cake, we'll get
Mr. Belmont to do that.

Oh, uh, hi. Oh, could I speak to
Celia for a minute?

Oh, well,
just for a minute.

You know, this thing has really
drained us,

and I don't even know your full
name.

Burl Smith.

Smith? Just plain, s-m-i-t --
[ Laughs ]

Oh, well, I suppose it can't be
helped.

Ooh! I came about the ring.

And I don't know a thing about
your people.

Gopher, did you really mean what
you said?

Of course he did.

Oh, darling, please don't
sniffle.

It's not the least bit
becoming.

She's totally distraught.

Now, darling, why don't you run
along, get ready for bed,

and we'll talk about things in
the morning?

You know,
we had these piñatas --

i think perhaps you better come
back, too, in the morning.

We'll all have clearer heads.

Yeah, but this will only take a
second.

See, I just wanted to talk
about the ring.

Oh, well, don't apologize.

It's not much,
but it'll just have to do.

No, no. I meant --

you know, you two are really
quite naughty.

Rushing things along
like this --

it's not at all the way I had
planned

for Celia to become engaged.

Yeah, but I just wanted --

goodbye!

[ Sighs ]

Engaged?

You know, it never ceases to
amaze me

when a stunning-looking girl
like her

settles for a -- well,
you know -- ordinary type.

Mm. The ordinary type should be
grateful. [ Chuckles ]

I'm speaking for myself,
of course.

Well, now, of course.

Well, I think it's just a simple
case of opposites attracting.

Oh, it's more
than opposites.

That girl is dating right out of
her species.

You know, I'd like to interview
her,

but I think that she would
resent it.

Not her -- she's a big fan of
yours.

I mean, she heard a rumor you
were here

and said she was determined to
find you.

Oh, a lady of good taste,
as well.

In that case, I definitely will
introduce myself.

Gopher, you can't stay in your
cabin for the whole cruise.

You'll lose your job.

What else can I do?

You have to tell her mother
you're not engaged.

After which, you will also lose
your job.

It's Celia that I feel for.
She doesn't get around much.

Now she's finally
starting to grow,

and I have to tell her that it
was all a great big joke.

"Hey, Celia, guess what?

The ring I gave ya -- it's just
a plastic toy from a piñata."

Great, huh?

The poor kid doesn't have enough
confidence as it is

with her mother always putting
her down.

This will probably
really squash her.

Gopher, it has to be done.

I already spoke with the girl
who lost her ring,

and she understands,
but she wants her ring back.

Hey, you know what might make
Celia feel better?

What?

If she were to break off the
engagement

and give the ring back
on her own.

Wait a minute.

You mean try to convince her
that I am not charming

and wonderful and totally
delightful?

Exactly.

That'd be a tough sell.

Feeny, the deal is off.

I refuse to have anything more
to do with you.

You cheated and didn't grow old
with me.

Oh, come on.
Just one more game?

I'll let you win.

Can I trust her?

No, I'm not going to
take a chance.

Well, if you meant what you said
about retiring,

you'd have plenty of time
to keep yourself in shape.

Well, I meant it, all right.
I'm through.

I'm gonna leave everything for
the youngbloods coming up,

just like you ought to do.

A new commercial coming up.

Well, I'm selling you a great
product.

You know something, Steve?

You haven't let up on
the work.

You've been to the ship-to-shore
telephone

at least a dozen times.

Well, just tying up
loose ends.

No, I'm through.

I'm going to devote full-time
to an elusive Patty feeny.

And I wouldn't want you to
change from the person you are.

I wouldn't want you any
different.

And you can go on doing good
works.

But from now on, we're gonna do
them together.

Brother Brian...

You have a way of being
mighty unsettling.

And you have a way
of being mighty special.

Well, we're all mighty special,
but sometimes we forget it.

You are very wise --
wise enough, I hope,

not to let the rest of our years
slip away from us.

Attention, please --

ladies and gentlemen, we will
be leaving port in 30 minutes.

The next stop -- acapulco.

You know, it's so late,
we hardly have time
to change for dinner.

It was a wonderful afternoon,
wasn't it?

Mm-hmm. One of the best
of the century.

Mm-hmm. Just think --
tomorrow, acapulco.

Now, what, dear jonesy,
are we gonna do in acapulco?

Oh, they have a wonderful
library and a museum.

Or?

Or a beach cabana with mariachis
and margaritas.

Oh, tough choice.

Yes, I prefer
the educational.

Me, too, so it's margaritas
and mariachis.

You know, you, uh, haven't
autographed my book yet.

Well, one thing led to another,
and I forgot.

You could do it now.

True, true.

Or one thing could lead to
another.

Hmm. It's certainly worth
a try.

Um, excuse me.

I wonder if you could spare
a minute.

For what?

In the interest of the
humanities,

I'm -- I'm conducting
a survey.

You certainly picked the wrong
time.

My apologies.

Uh, perhaps we could talk
tomorrow before we dock.

Yes, I think that'd be a lot
better.

I'm Dr. Marbey.

He's Dr. Marbey.
Aren't you, jonesy?

I'm Dr. Michael marbey.

You're Dr. Marbey.
Aren't you, jonesy?

Aren't you, jonesy?

I'm sorry, Evie.

[ Door closes ]

Is there a problem?

Is gopher here?
He phoned me.

He's up on the top deck.
He's trying to sober up.

Sober up?

Yeah. Listen, take some advice
from me --

before anything serious happens,
dump him.

He's been like that ever since
his first wife left him.

He's been married before?

Three times.

But he's so young.

Betty, Carol, Ann...
And Peggy.

That's four.

What do you know?

He didn't even tell me
about the last one.

I can't believe it.

Sorry. He's --
he's always like this.

You all right, man?

Gopher!

[ Slurred speech ]
Betty!

Carol!

Ann!

Peggy!

Peggy?

Ha ha! All right.

You poor boy.

Listen, we'll work this out...
Together.

Okay?

Hey, baby, don't you wanna
join me

in a couple of boilermakers?

Not now,

but, uh, stop by later in my
cabin and see me, Mr. Smith.

[ Normal voice ]
I should probably change.

Your life.

Well, this is it.

Now, we're here,

and we'll be at acapulco
tomorrow morning --

a straight course.

A straight course.

I understand what
you're feeling.

I once had my own time
for decision --

the sea or a home ashore
with a lovely lady.

Why do we ever
let it come to that?

Any regrets?

There would have been regrets
either way.

That's Hobson's choice.

Sometimes,
it's very painful.

And then again,
it's filled with joy.

Hmm. It's obvious he cares for
you very much.

Well, I care for him, too.

We've shared a lot together.

And now I meet him again,

and in these few days, I've
relived my entire life.

And what he wants...

That would mean rethinking my
entire existence.

It would be a big change, and
everything resists change,

even this ship.

After the rudder turns,
the big ship continues on,

sometimes for a mile before
accepting the new direction.

Like us, it wants things to go
on like they always were.

Staying on course?

Mm-hmm.

That sounds right,
but is it?

Well,
we'll know in 24 hours.

I wish you the best,

though I honestly don't know
which way I'll be rooting.

Neither do I.

Oh, sister Patricia.

Hi! Mr. Brian had to leave the
ship early.

Oh?

Yes. He left at dawn, said he
didn't want to disturb you.

Oh, and he also said

he was going to stop by the
local news bureau and --

tie up some loose ends.

Yes.

Well,
it's time that I leave.

They're expecting me
at the convent.

Oh, he said he'd meet you there
at noon to pick you up

and also that he was saying his
prayers.

Well, it's about time.

Thank you.

Oh, sister?

Vaya con dios.

Amen.

What are you doing here?

I got a note from Dr. Marbey to
meet him here.

Oh, I get it. You don't know
when to quit, do you?

I didn't send it.
I got one, too.

Correct. I sent them both.

After all, you know,

I feel a twinge of
responsibility for your breakup,

and I've decided to show you
how easy it is

for your relationship
to be restored.

All you need is a supreme
authority.

Oh, forget it.

You did me a favor getting rid
of this two-bit phony!

Oh, now, that's not fair.

Obviously, both of you
have enormous amounts

of latent anger in you
that have to be expressed.

Don't talk to me about fair!

You're the one that lied to me
about who you were!

I didn't tell you who I was!
You did! You started it.

I have brought along

a rather crude
little demonstration

of your problem --
simple sexual miscommunication.

Man, woman -- as you observe,
they're not open to each other.

You had plenty of time to
explain, but what did you do?!

You just kept stringing me
along, you little pip-squeak!

Now, being derisive is not
a practical therapeutic Avenue.

Open yourself up to him.
There's no need to call names.

Pip-squeak! Pip-squeak!

I'd rather be a pip-squeak
than a hypocrite.

Now, young man,

your psychic reactor should be
open to her, too, you know?

Hypocrite?!

How dare you call me a
hypocrite!

You poured your heart out
to me

about how you hated people who
judged only by appearance.

Now, what have you done
to me?

Sometimes, as you see,
there's open here and
sometimes closed there.

Now, hypothetically, it might be
closed there or open here.

Sometimes, one end is open
this way...

You became interested in me

because of who you thought
I was, not who I really was.

You didn't have to lie
to me.

What you don't realize
is that the "who" you
fell in love with --

that's right, love --
was not some phony image.

It was me.

...like this, but not...

That's right --
not Dr. Dingbat,

but this guy right here,
numero uno.

...rotate your whole being
antennas.

Distance all of yourself
from preconceptions.

Rotate! Rotate!
Just keep rotating --

just shut up!!

Shut up!!

You're right about one
thing --

I should have said something
sooner.

But I didn't want to
lose you.

Oh, jonesy.

I want you, but, um...

...you think you could love
a pip-squeak?

No, but I can love you.

Oh, um, by the way, I ought to
introduce myself.

I'm, uh, Dr. --
that's not m.D., phd --

wilferd -- you're gonna love
this -- Jones.

[ Laughing ] Oh, jonesy.

[ Both laughing ]

Well, another success!

You did it again, marbey.

Gopher, you've just got to
tell her

you never intended
an engagement.

Doc! You tell her.

You'll be better at it.
You understand women.

You've been divorced three
times.

Poor kid.

She'll kill herself.

Sit here.

You haven't even kissed me
yet.

Yeah, well, I don't think you're
gonna want me to

when you hear what I have to
say.

Go ahead.
I'll take a chance.

Ce-- Celia...

You're a special girl.

You are, and that's why I hate
what I have to say.

That the engagement was never
meant to be?

Oh, it's worse than that.

You see, the engagement was
never --

it's okay, goph.

Celia? Now, we don't want any
vulgarity.

Celia, dear,

I've just been thinking about
the silver pattern.

No pattern, mother -- the
engagement is off.

I've decided that gopher and I
are just gonna be good friends.

Good friends?

I've already phoned an order for
my dress.

Oh, Celia,
you can't do this to me.

Oh! My poor head.

Maybe you should see
Dr. Bricker.

Celia, I'm shocked.

Good. Now please leave us
alone.

What's going on here?

I almost had my dress ordered,
too.

I was in the bar a few minutes
ago.

Isaac told me the whole
story,

so I gave the ring back
to Betty.

Ah. Celia, I feel awful.

So did I at first,
but it's okay.

It was fun being engaged,
even by mistake.

And, gopher, you did me
the biggest favor.

Now my mother has seen

that I can not only find a guy
by myself,

but I can also turn one
down,

so maybe she'll give me some
breathing space.

Amen.

It wasn't all her fault.

I have to be more confident
about leading my own life,

and I'm gonna do just that.

I see.

[ French accent ] Well, um,
newly confident girl,

I'm off duty.

Would you like to go for a
little run ashore

with your ex-fiancé?

Thanks, but I'm gonna go with
the gang.

And besides,
it wouldn't be fair

to Betty, Carol,
Ann, or Peggy.

Gonna kill herself, huh?
Sounds like a fun funeral.

It is so beautiful, sister, and
so peaceful.

Later, when the children come
out of the classroom,

it will not be so peaceful.

Beautiful, yes, but peaceful...
[ Chuckles ]

Pardon me, sister Patricia.

Are you feeling well?
Was the trip too strenuous?

Oh, no. No.
The trip was fine.

As a matter of fact, it was
delightful.

I'm glad you found it
enjoyable.

We have a visitor.
We can resume later.

Excuse me, sister.

Uh, sister Patricia?

Hi.

You know, this is the first time
I've seen you --

look like a nun?

I'm still the same old
Patty feeny.

I'm sorry I'm late,
but phone calls, lawyers...

Sounds like they need you.

They can get along very well
without me.

Can you get along
without them?

[ Laughing ] Yeah.
You just watch.

Come on. Change your clothes.
We gotta catch a boat.

We're so much alike, Steve.

We have a purpose in life,
and that purpose is our life.

You know,
if I had a question,

it was answered the moment
I stepped foot in this convent

and I saw the faces of those
little children in the school.

They're my purpose,

and I'll be very happy
and very fulfilled.

Patty, don't do this to us.

When I was a little girl and I
wanted to keep from crying,

I used to go into our backyard,
and I'd look up at the sky,

and I'd talk to god, and i'd
talk to myself

until the pain in my heart went
away.

Patty,
we belong to each other.

I've never been more sure of
anything.

Goodbye, Steve.

Will we meet again?

Another time,
another place.

But this other time,
this other place,

does it ever really happen?

I've never been more sure of
anything.

Vaya con dios, Steve.

Bye, goph.

You look super.

Are you sure you wouldn't
consider unjilting me?

I'll be too busy.

I'm gonna get a job, move into
my own apartment,

and really make it on
my own.

That's great.

But I'll always remember my
first love.

Oh, one thing.

Hmm?

Try and stay sober, huh?

Oh, doctor, we hope you enjoyed
your cruise.

Well, your captain is certainly
a man of his word.

He didn't tell a single soul
that I was aboard.

During the whole trip,

not one person asked for
autographs or advice.

As a matter of fact, doctor,
I have a few questions to ask.

Vicki! Doctor, she'll get
back to you in a few years,

won't you?

Goodbye.
Thanks for sailing with us.

Well, everything worked,
huh, Mr. Jones?

Oh, you can call me
"doctor."

Will you do me a favor?

Will you tell the captain,
"thank you, thank you, thank you

for not telling me
who Dr. Marbey was"?

Right. I'm sure he'll be happy
not to have been of service.

Come along, dear. Let's go
autograph some books.

You know, I just received

the most disturbing message from
my husband.
Oh?

He's thinking of selling all his
stock in this cruise line.

He is?

But I'll still be coming on the
cruises.

I have another daughter, you
know,

and I'm sure you're going to
like her.

Well, that all depends on your
husband.

Well, so long, Steve.
What can I say?

Ah, the usual cliché is,

"everything turned out for
the best."

You going back to the job?

Yep, but I'm gonna practice up
on my paddleball

just in case there's a big
hereafter.

I want to be ready.
[ Chuckles ]

So long.

Goodbye.