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Love,
2
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exciting and new.
3
00:00:18,643 --> 00:00:22,480
Come aboard,
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we're expecting you.
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Love,
6
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life's sweetest reward.
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Let it flow,
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it floats back to you.
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Love Boat
10
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soon will be making another run.
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The Love Boat
12
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promises something for everyone.
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Set a course for adventure,
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Your mind on a new romance.
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Love,
16
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won't hurt anymore.
17
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It's an open smile
18
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on a friendly shore.
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Yes, love.
20
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Welcome aboard,
21
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it's love.
22
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Welcome aboard.
23
00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:04,874
Hi, welcome aboard.
24
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:06,167
Kurt, wait,
25
00:02:06,251 --> 00:02:07,001
this stuff is heavy.
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Ha, ha, ha.
27
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:08,670
The weaker sex.
28
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,004
Well, how do you do?
29
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:12,006
I'm Julie McCoy, the weak little
30
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cruise director.
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Hi, sugar.
32
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I'm Kurt Stenzel, and this is
33
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:16,886
Dee Dee Donnelly, my chick.
34
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Hi.
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Your chick?
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We're engaged.
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Having ourselves a little
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early honeymoon.
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Right, sugar face, huh?
40
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Ha, ha, ha...
41
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Oh,
42
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:27,897
The finest animal I've
43
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ever owned.
44
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I'm gonna break every
45
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bone in his body!
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Easy.
47
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,074
You're on duty.
48
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Welcome aboard.
49
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:42,245
Excuse me. Excuse me
50
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:42,871
are you associated with the
51
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cruise?
52
00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:44,914
No, somebody stole my ice
53
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cream truck.
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Ah.
55
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Sorry.
56
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,919
No, I'm only kidding.
57
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Oh.
58
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That wasn't funny.
59
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That was funny.
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No, I'm Adam Bricker, the
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ship's doctor.
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Nelson Hoag.
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Hi.
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Are there gonna be a lot
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of single girls on this cruise?
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Well, we get our share.
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00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:01,764
Where do you keep them?
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00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,308
Is there any special place they
69
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,434
hang out?
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00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,268
Not really.
71
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,936
If you don't count my cabin.
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00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,271
Hey, there's one of your basic
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00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,439
single girls right there.
74
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:10,565
Thank you.
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Excuse me.
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Hello, my name is Nelson Hoag.
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Would you please marry me?
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Don't be discouraged.
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With a suave approach like that,
80
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:31,252
you can't miss.
81
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:32,420
Hi, welcome aboard.
82
00:03:32,503 --> 00:03:33,463
Hello.
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00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,672
Oh, good heavens!
84
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,798
Who died?
85
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,133
Uh...these are for
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00:03:37,216 --> 00:03:39,802
Ireni Jermaine.
87
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:40,428
Really?
88
00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:41,262
Well, that's who all these
89
00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,305
cablegrams are for.
90
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,431
Oh yeah?
91
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:44,307
You know, one of 'em's
92
00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,350
from Burt Reynolds.
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He says he'll just kill himself
94
00:03:47,435 --> 00:03:49,228
if she doesn't come home soon.
95
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:50,563
Hmm...Ireni Jermaine,
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00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,814
Promenade Deck, 341.
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Up the stairs.
98
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:59,280
Who is Ireni Jermaine?
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00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:00,949
Now, remember to say
100
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,784
goodbye to the kids, Okay?
101
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:03,451
Look, Irene...
102
00:04:03,534 --> 00:04:04,827
Ah-ah -- it's Ireni!
103
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,621
Well, I'm your sister.
104
00:04:06,704 --> 00:04:07,664
It's Irene.
105
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:08,289
Did you send the flowers?
106
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,332
Yes.
107
00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:10,458
And the cablegrams.
108
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:11,668
Do you know how much all this is
109
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:12,794
costing you?
110
00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:13,503
Not including the cruise and the
111
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:14,045
clothes.
112
00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:15,421
I know.
113
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:16,798
But if I'm gonna have my fling,
114
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:18,466
I wanna be somebody for a
change.
115
00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:20,051
You are somebody.
116
00:04:20,134 --> 00:04:21,844
You're a housewife from Pacoima.
117
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:22,679
A widowed housewife from
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00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:23,805
Pacoima.
119
00:04:23,888 --> 00:04:25,181
Your Philip will be spinning in
120
00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:26,307
his grave.
121
00:04:26,391 --> 00:04:27,183
My Philip spin?
122
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:29,727
At best a twitch or two.
123
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,896
Look, he was a wonderful man,
124
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:32,563
and I loved him dearly.
125
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,024
But that was a long time ago.
126
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,484
And now, I...I want to meet
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00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,819
someone glamorous.
128
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:39,153
And in order to meet someone
glamorous,
129
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,029
I've got to be someone
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00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,072
glamorous.
131
00:04:41,155 --> 00:04:42,532
Oh, Sis.
132
00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:43,574
Look,
133
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:44,242
I gotta go.
134
00:04:44,325 --> 00:04:45,868
You just call me five times a
135
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:46,869
day.
136
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,913
And make up important names.
137
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,873
Love you.
138
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:53,376
Hows about Catherine the Great?
139
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,012
I'm O'Rourke.
140
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:06,180
Who are you?
141
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:07,223
Smith.
142
00:05:07,306 --> 00:05:08,349
Call me Gopher.
143
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,392
Uhm-hmm.
144
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,644
Can I trust you?
145
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:12,103
Well, not if we were out
146
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:13,438
in the moonlight,
147
00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:15,356
but, here in the lobby.
148
00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,065
I'm a reporter for
149
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,150
"Defile Magazine."
150
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:17,734
Oh...?
151
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:18,401
I'm traveling incognito on
152
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:19,527
this bucket of lust to write
153
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,112
a story that will blow
154
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:22,447
the lid off.
155
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:23,364
Well, there's nothing to
156
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:24,907
write about on this ship.
157
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:25,450
I didn't just fall off the
158
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:29,037
turnip truck, you know.
159
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,456
I know what's going on.
160
00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,416
Musical cabins, wife-swapping,
161
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:35,209
organized hanky-panky.
162
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:36,252
You're wrong.
163
00:05:36,335 --> 00:05:37,045
I swear.
164
00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:38,129
Sure, sure, sure,
165
00:05:38,212 --> 00:05:38,713
sure.
166
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:39,756
Look,
167
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,716
Just...
168
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:44,260
keep ypur eyes open for me, will
you?
169
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:47,597
I'll be in touch.
170
00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:48,097
It should be another
171
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,265
interesting cruise.
172
00:05:49,348 --> 00:05:49,766
We've got a full boat.
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00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,601
Uh...it's a ship.
174
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,269
And, yes, it certainly should
175
00:05:53,352 --> 00:05:55,772
be.
176
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,440
Who is that tawny creature?
177
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,524
Dr. Bricker
178
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,276
that tawny creature is off
179
00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:01,402
limits to you.
180
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,195
You know her?
181
00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:03,321
Not yet.
182
00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:04,030
But I will.
183
00:06:07,533 --> 00:06:09,786
Oh, you must be Ireni Jermaine.
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00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:10,912
Quite.
185
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:12,080
Well, then all of these are
186
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:12,288
for you.
187
00:06:12,371 --> 00:06:12,872
Oh.
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00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:14,415
Welcome to the Princess.
189
00:06:14,499 --> 00:06:15,249
Captain Merrill Stubing
190
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at your command.
191
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How sweet.
192
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Ireni Jermaine.
193
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I hope you get into your cabin,
194
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Miss Jermaine...
195
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:22,757
There must be a ton of flowers
196
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in there.
197
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,134
Ha, ha.
198
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,637
Marlon...Jack and Warren, too.
199
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:28,596
Oh, they're always doing things
200
00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:29,639
like that.
201
00:06:29,722 --> 00:06:31,808
It's sweet, but it's a bit of a
202
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pain.
203
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:33,476
Oh, why don't you distribute
204
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them among the indigent
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00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:37,271
passengers.
206
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,482
Well, excuse me...
207
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What a fascinating woman,
208
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:44,320
isn't she, Captain Stubing?
209
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Captain Stubing?
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Hmm?
211
00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:47,949
Oh.
212
00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:12,723
Hey, what's the matter?
213
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:13,349
Are you, you mad at me or
214
00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:14,684
something?
215
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:17,061
'The finest animal I own'.
216
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,063
I could have died.
217
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,273
Well, I meant that as a
218
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:20,982
compliment.
219
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:22,316
You are you know, you are a fine
220
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,651
animal.
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00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:24,360
Do you think you own me like
222
00:07:24,443 --> 00:07:26,195
one of your horses?
223
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:26,612
Hey, don't make any cracks
224
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:27,697
about my horses.
225
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,323
Hey, give the big guy a kiss.
226
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:30,366
No!!!
227
00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:32,201
Come on, you don't care about
me!
228
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,328
To you, I'm just some chick.
229
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,538
No, you're not some chick,
230
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:36,581
you're my chick.
231
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,875
How about I am a person?
232
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Okay!
233
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:40,042
Okay!
234
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:40,751
You're a person.
235
00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,503
Now, shut up before I belt you!
236
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,589
You know what you are?
237
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:47,216
A male chauvinist pig!
238
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,676
Hey, hey, hey!
239
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,386
You're damn right I am!
240
00:07:50,469 --> 00:07:51,053
You know what the big guy is?
241
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,430
He is the Rock Island Line.
242
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:53,556
You wanna ride it.
243
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:54,724
You ride it like you find it.
244
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:55,725
You don't like it.
245
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,227
Adios amigo!
246
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,604
Oh yeah?.
247
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:01,230
Well, adios amigo yourself!
248
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,732
Get out of the cabin and leave
249
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:03,858
me alone!!!
250
00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:04,567
Ha, ha.
251
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,152
I paid for the cabin.
252
00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,570
You want to be left alone,
253
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,781
there's the door, baby!
254
00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:13,201
Ha, ha.
255
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,410
I'll could be alone.
256
00:08:14,493 --> 00:08:15,244
Ha, ha.
257
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,204
I can do that real quick.
258
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,039
And, angel, when you cool down,
259
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:19,582
why don't you come back?
260
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:21,626
I need a back rub, huh?
261
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:22,418
Oh, and bring me some
262
00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:24,462
cigarettes.
263
00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:33,721
Hello.
264
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,766
Oh, I'm -- I'm Nelson Hoag.
265
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,477
Would you marry me?
266
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:40,102
Doesn't anyone want to
267
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,022
play shuffleboard anymore?
268
00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,109
Don't feel bad.
269
00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,195
She didn't buy me line either.
270
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:49,946
It's not a line.
271
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:52,657
I have to get married!
272
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:53,783
Oh.
273
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:54,784
It's the truth.
274
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,244
If I tell you why, do you
275
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,954
promise not to tell anyone?
276
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:58,663
Not even the American
277
00:08:58,746 --> 00:08:59,747
Medical Association?
278
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,123
My word of honor.
279
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,000
Look, next week I'll
280
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,460
be twenty-five years old.
281
00:09:04,543 --> 00:09:05,795
And according to my
282
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,463
grandfather's will, if I'm not
283
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:08,464
married by then, I lose my
284
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,590
inheritance.
285
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,175
Oh, I gotcha.
286
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:11,759
Yeah.
287
00:09:11,842 --> 00:09:12,635
But you just can't go up
288
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:13,761
to a girl and say.
289
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:15,137
"Will you marry me"?
290
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,639
You gotta strike up a
conversation.
291
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,140
You gotta get acquainted.
292
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,309
You gotta be,
293
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,352
cool.
294
00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:22,270
I'll try that.
295
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:24,146
Thank you.
296
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,066
Hello, I'm Nelson Hoag.
297
00:09:27,149 --> 00:09:30,236
Would you like to get
acquainted?
298
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,327
Excuse me.
299
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,537
I'd like to talk to the
300
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,122
person in charge of cabins.
301
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:42,498
Well, that's me.
302
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:42,999
Oh.
303
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:43,874
Is there some problem?
304
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,502
I have moved out of my
boyfriend's cabin,
305
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:47,795
and I would like a cabin of my
own.
306
00:09:47,878 --> 00:09:48,671
Please.
307
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,673
Oh, ma'am...the ship is
308
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:51,340
booked to the gunwales.
309
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:52,300
There isn't a cabin I can give
310
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:54,176
you.
311
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:58,514
Ooohhhh.
312
00:09:58,597 --> 00:09:59,974
Oh, I can't go crawling back to
313
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,017
him.
314
00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:01,726
That's exactly what he wants me
315
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,562
to do.
316
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:05,354
He even said to bring him
317
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:06,689
cigarettes.
318
00:10:06,772 --> 00:10:08,232
Uh, gee, I'm sorry, ma'am.
319
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:08,983
I just wish there was
320
00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:10,568
something I could do.
321
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:11,235
Some teeny-weeny little
322
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,361
space someplace?
323
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,405
I could sleep on a sofa.
324
00:10:14,488 --> 00:10:14,989
Please?
325
00:10:15,072 --> 00:10:15,865
Uh, let me see if I can
326
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:16,907
find you a sofa.
327
00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:17,992
Listen,
328
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:19,076
I don't take up very much room.
329
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,077
I'm very quiet and.
330
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,038
Now, now -- I can't bear to
331
00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:23,789
see a beautiful woman cry.
332
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,876
As it happens, I can help.
333
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:27,585
You can?
334
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:28,836
I'm Adam Bricker, and I
335
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:30,880
have a very, very large cabin.
336
00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,340
I rattle around in there all by
337
00:10:32,423 --> 00:10:35,551
myself.
338
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:37,553
Consider it yours.
339
00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:38,220
Oh, really?
340
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,555
Certainly.
341
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,890
After all, as the ship's doctor,
342
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,391
it's my job to make people feel
343
00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,935
good.
344
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:46,520
Cabin C-117.
345
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:47,855
The door's open.
346
00:10:47,938 --> 00:10:50,733
Oh, thank you, Dr.Bricker.
347
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,401
Thank you very much.
348
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:53,444
C-117, right?
349
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,278
Uhm-hmm.
350
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,404
C-117.
351
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,489
C-117.
352
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,199
C-117.
353
00:10:58,282 --> 00:11:00,201
If you think she's grateful now,
354
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:02,244
wait till later.
355
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,629
No hanky-panky on the ship, eh?
356
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:12,254
What were you doing in there,
357
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,297
O'Rourke?
358
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,590
A good reporter is always where
359
00:11:14,673 --> 00:11:15,716
the action is.
360
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:16,592
And on this ship, I think I'll
361
00:11:16,675 --> 00:11:17,718
need roller skates.
362
00:11:17,802 --> 00:11:18,302
I know, O'Rourke,
363
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:18,928
wait a minute.
364
00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,304
Doc was just offering that
365
00:11:20,388 --> 00:11:22,598
passenger a place,
366
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:23,265
To sleep.
367
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,266
Oh, sure.
368
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:25,976
He's a regular Holiday Inn.
369
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,978
This article is gonna make Hugh
370
00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:30,314
Hefner blush.
371
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,743
Here's to independence and
372
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:45,162
self-reliance.
373
00:11:48,165 --> 00:11:48,958
Kurt just came in.
374
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:49,917
I'm afraid when he finds out
375
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,335
that I moved into your cabin.
376
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,169
Dee Dee, you're a person
377
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:53,045
with a free will.
378
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:53,587
You can make your own
379
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:55,423
decisions.
380
00:11:58,717 --> 00:12:00,344
Where have you been all
381
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:01,470
afternoon?
382
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,096
Well, between one and three
383
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:02,763
I was...
384
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:04,598
No, I mean her.
385
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,434
Well?
386
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,981
I have moved into Dr.Bricker's
cabin.
387
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,274
What?
388
00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:14,650
She said she...
389
00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:15,359
Hey, Slugger, I'd stay out
390
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:16,068
of this if I were you.
391
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,987
The lady happens to be with me.
392
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:18,696
Funny,
393
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:22,992
that's not the impression I got.
394
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:23,993
Come on, Dee Dee, let's go.
395
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,035
Nope.
396
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,829
Whattya mean?
397
00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,665
I mean...no.
398
00:12:29,748 --> 00:12:30,833
Come on, will ya?
399
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:32,626
No, I won't.
400
00:12:32,710 --> 00:12:35,421
And that is final.
401
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:39,341
For someone so young,
402
00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,634
you've made a very mature
403
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:41,594
decision.
404
00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:48,976
Okay, Nelson, I've gotta get
back
405
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:49,602
and finish some work.
406
00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:51,020
So I'm gonna leave you here.
407
00:12:51,103 --> 00:12:53,355
Now, you just find a seat.
408
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,231
Try to look debonair.
409
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,816
And the girls'll come to you.
410
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,985
I like that one a lot.
411
00:12:58,068 --> 00:12:59,862
Uh...no, that's Julie McCoy,
412
00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:00,362
our cruise director.
413
00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:00,738
She's not for you.
414
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,239
Is that clear?
415
00:13:02,323 --> 00:13:03,866
Okay.
416
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:07,661
Good luck.
417
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:08,037
Hey, how're you doing,
418
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,163
pretty lady?
419
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:10,748
Fine until now.
420
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:11,999
Ah, I like that.
421
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:13,375
I like a filly with temperament.
422
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,543
How about giving the big guy a
423
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,586
dance, huh?
424
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:17,004
Oh, hey, sorry, big guy
425
00:13:17,087 --> 00:13:17,755
but this filly hasn't been
426
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,131
halter-broke.
427
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,216
Besides, the gentleman has this
428
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,300
dance...
429
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:22,551
I do?
430
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:23,677
Sure.
431
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:25,221
Sweep me off my feet.
432
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,388
Hey -- I only know how
433
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,849
to polka.
434
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,280
Good evening, Miss Jermaine.
435
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:44,073
Oh...good evening,
436
00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:47,076
Captain.
437
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,035
Uh, Miss Jermaine,
438
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:49,078
telephone call.
439
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,746
Oh.
440
00:13:50,829 --> 00:13:54,416
It's...Rudolph Nureyev.
441
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:58,587
Again?
442
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,423
Rude.
443
00:14:01,507 --> 00:14:02,883
Oh, you persistent little
peasant.
444
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:05,386
You.
445
00:14:05,469 --> 00:14:12,810
Oh...yes...yes...
446
00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:14,937
Oh, well, I miss you, too.
447
00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,272
Oh, how could I forget the night
448
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,314
we tangoed together?
449
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:21,944
You spoiled me for anyone else.
450
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,279
Could you hold on for just a
451
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:26,782
minute, Rudy?
452
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,450
Yes, Captain?
453
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,995
Nothing.
454
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:32,162
Have a nice evening.
455
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,963
So, how's the ballet?
456
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,882
Goodbye, Rudy.
457
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:49,138
Anyway, I feel a lot
458
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:52,141
better about everything.
459
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:54,518
You know -- you're a very sweet
460
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:55,644
guy to let me sleep in your
461
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:56,687
bed.
462
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:57,855
It's my pleasure.
463
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,064
Thank you.
464
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:08,616
I'm ready.
465
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:09,366
Gee, are you going out
466
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,160
in the corridor in that?
467
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,120
No,
468
00:15:13,203 --> 00:15:13,954
I wasn't planning to.
469
00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,332
Oh.
470
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,375
Where are you going to sleep?
471
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,545
Well, I was planning.
472
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:22,671
that is.
473
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:23,964
I thought we could both.
474
00:15:24,048 --> 00:15:24,506
Both?
475
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:26,842
Sleep here?
476
00:15:26,925 --> 00:15:27,801
What kind of a girl do you think
477
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,970
I am?
478
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:30,679
But you.
479
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:32,306
I didn't.
480
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:32,973
Didn't you?
481
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:34,016
No.
482
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:34,683
I thought.
483
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,853
What?
484
00:15:37,936 --> 00:15:44,193
Excuse me.
485
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:44,818
Dee Dee, you get out of that
486
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:45,861
yo-yo's bed, and come back
487
00:15:45,944 --> 00:15:47,196
where you belong.
488
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:47,529
No!
489
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,031
I'm staying!
490
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:49,865
You get up or so help me,
491
00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:50,532
I'll...
492
00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:51,617
You'll what?
493
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,993
I'll knock your block off,
494
00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:57,706
four-eyes!
495
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,708
Oh my goodness!
496
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,751
Oh, I'm sorry.
497
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:03,045
I didn't mean for you to get
hit.
498
00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:04,254
Oh, I don't want you to go away
499
00:16:04,338 --> 00:16:05,381
all hurt.
500
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:05,589
Help me.
501
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,383
Oh.
502
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:08,008
Help me.
503
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:08,384
Oh, come to the bathroom.
504
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:09,551
To the bed.
505
00:16:09,635 --> 00:16:09,968
Oh.
506
00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,178
Oh, my goodness!
507
00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:12,221
Oh.
508
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,347
Oohhhhhhh.
509
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,057
Oh, my goodness!
510
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,183
Oh.
511
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:17,518
Just stuff this up your nostril
512
00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,186
while you're leaving.
513
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,533
I enjoy the dance tonight at the
reception.
514
00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:33,200
Me too, me too.
515
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,536
Yeah.
516
00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:38,997
Well, here we are at my cabin.
517
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,582
I had fun dancing with you.
518
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,251
You're a nice person.
519
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,586
You're not so bad yourself.
520
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,380
You really think so?
521
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:47,256
I mean, I'm not so bad?
522
00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:48,424
Uhm-uhm.
523
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,260
I'll even go further than that.
524
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:51,969
You're a very nice man,
525
00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,095
Nelson.
526
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:54,096
You just need a little more
527
00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:55,431
confidence.
528
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,099
If you want something,
529
00:16:57,182 --> 00:17:00,602
get it.
530
00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:01,770
You mean it?
531
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,981
Uhm-hmm.
532
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,149
Well, there is something.
533
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:07,109
I'd like if you wouldn't mind.
534
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,152
Sure.
535
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,612
Goodnight, Julie.
536
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:22,583
Isaac.
537
00:17:22,666 --> 00:17:23,292
Hi.
538
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:24,585
Will you do an old pal a favor?
539
00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:24,960
Sure, anything.
540
00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:26,128
Just name it.
541
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:28,213
Can I bunk with you?
542
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,298
Name another...
543
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,632
Come on, Doc, now what
544
00:17:30,716 --> 00:17:31,759
happened to Goldilocks?
545
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:33,218
Well, she ate my porridge,
546
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,470
broke my chair and now she's
547
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:35,929
asleep in my bed.
548
00:17:36,013 --> 00:17:37,639
She give you that beat-up nose?
549
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,098
Huh?
550
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:39,475
Oh, no, that's,
551
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:40,601
that's just advancing age.
552
00:17:40,684 --> 00:17:42,603
You see, after forty, the muscle
553
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,605
in your head turns to fat
554
00:17:44,688 --> 00:17:48,484
and drops.
555
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,652
Doc, I'd like to help you but,
556
00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,653
I've got this cutie
557
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:52,988
up in the Starlight Bar, and I
558
00:17:53,071 --> 00:17:53,614
thought I'd kinda.
559
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:54,990
Say no more.
560
00:17:55,073 --> 00:17:55,324
Thanks anyway.
561
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:56,158
Good, Doc.
562
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,035
You're a sport.
563
00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,208
Gopher -- you in there?
564
00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,001
Gopher?
565
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:08,796
Aw, nuts!
566
00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:13,801
Doc.
567
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,511
Uh...can I come in?
568
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,262
Sure.
569
00:18:24,311 --> 00:18:24,853
What are you in for,
570
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:25,896
O'Rourke?
571
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,523
Just the man I want to see.
572
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:30,025
Who's in C-125?
573
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:30,859
Julie McCoy,
574
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:31,568
the Cruise Director.
575
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:32,694
Oh boy!
576
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,072
This is really disgusting stuff!
577
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,698
I love it.
578
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:43,956
Oh, Julie!
579
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:45,916
Well, it serves you right
580
00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:47,334
for being so lecherous.
581
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:49,044
Look, Julie, no lectures,
582
00:18:49,127 --> 00:18:50,128
please?
583
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,338
It's been a very difficult
evening.
584
00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:52,756
I just want to find a place to
585
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:53,882
sleep.
586
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:54,508
Well, you happen to be
587
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:56,009
sitting on the only place to
588
00:18:56,093 --> 00:18:57,052
sleep.
589
00:18:57,135 --> 00:18:58,387
As you may have noticed, it's a
590
00:18:58,470 --> 00:18:59,513
single bed, Doc.
591
00:18:59,596 --> 00:19:01,515
A very small single bed.
592
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,350
Don't worry.I won't invade the
593
00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,852
purity of your single bed.
594
00:19:04,935 --> 00:19:06,687
I'll sleep in the bathtub.
595
00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:10,399
Doc, could I ask you a question?
596
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,442
Just, purely as a matter of
interest.
597
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,528
How will I sleep in the bathtub?
598
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:15,362
I haven't figured that out yet.
599
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:18,282
No.
600
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:22,536
Well...here we are two passably
601
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,037
attractive human beings of the
602
00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,205
opposite sex.
603
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,540
One of us a known lecher.
604
00:19:26,623 --> 00:19:27,916
You, a lecher?
605
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:28,959
I never suspected.
606
00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:31,503
I'm serious.
607
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,213
Why haven't you made?
608
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:34,756
An overture...
609
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:35,883
Julie!
610
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:37,259
That'd be like making a pass at
611
00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:38,635
my own kid sister!
612
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,596
You know, you've done something
613
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,264
that I didn't think was
possible.
614
00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,558
You've shocked me.
615
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:47,811
Goodnight.
616
00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,939
I'm sorry if the idea offends
you!
617
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,609
I, I wasn't actually suggesting
anything.
618
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:55,235
I...I just thought that,
619
00:19:55,319 --> 00:19:58,655
Oh, forget it.
620
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:08,582
After I close up, how 'bout you
621
00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:10,918
and me taking a tour
622
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:14,296
of the ship?
623
00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,423
Mmmm...I just love the way you
624
00:20:16,506 --> 00:20:19,801
communicate.
625
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,094
Isaac, would you pour me a
drink,
626
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:22,095
please?
627
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,138
Whatever's closest.
628
00:20:23,221 --> 00:20:24,306
In a minute.
629
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,683
Another rejection.
630
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,310
You can have mine.
631
00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:29,436
Thanks.
632
00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:31,438
Oh, Nelson, I thought you were
633
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:33,482
all locked up for the evening.
634
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:34,816
I'm sorry about what happened.
635
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,777
I'd like to make it up to you.
636
00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,820
You would?
637
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:39,780
Would you like to buy me a
638
00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:41,323
bottle of Irish whiskey?
639
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:42,950
A whole bottle?
640
00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:43,659
Sure.
641
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,494
We can finish it at your place.
642
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,996
My place is in Santa Monica.
643
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:52,709
Your cabin, Nelson.
644
00:20:52,793 --> 00:20:55,921
Put this on my bill.
645
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:04,721
Thank you.
646
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,890
Oh, Nelson, peel me a grape.
647
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:09,518
I beg your pardon?
648
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,687
Would you fix me a drink,
please?
649
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:12,312
Oh.
650
00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:13,730
Oh, of course.
651
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,148
Can I ask you a simple question
652
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:15,983
first?
653
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:17,317
Sure.
654
00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:21,363
Will you marry me?
655
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:22,531
Nelson, the question isn't
simple.
656
00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:24,241
You are...
657
00:21:24,324 --> 00:21:25,701
I mean it.
658
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:26,284
If I don't get married by the
659
00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:27,077
end of the week, I lose my
660
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,203
inheritance.
661
00:21:28,286 --> 00:21:29,246
No one else'll have me.
662
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:30,372
I'm desperate.
663
00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:31,415
Oh, well...thanks.
664
00:21:31,498 --> 00:21:33,417
That's just the kind of proposal
665
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:34,835
I've always dreamed of.
666
00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:36,920
Hey, really?
667
00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,676
No, not really.
668
00:21:42,759 --> 00:21:46,430
Nelson, the only reason I'm here
is,
669
00:21:46,513 --> 00:21:48,432
well, Doc's asleep in my cabin
670
00:21:48,515 --> 00:21:49,683
snoring his brains out,
671
00:21:49,766 --> 00:21:50,517
and...
672
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,560
and I'm exhausted.
673
00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:54,730
I, I want to sleep.
674
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:57,065
Well, you can stay in my cabin
675
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:58,400
I wouldn't dream of trying
676
00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:00,193
to get fresh with you.
677
00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:01,528
Oh, thanks.
678
00:22:01,611 --> 00:22:03,196
Gee, all these compliments are
679
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:04,573
gonna turn my head.
680
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:06,533
I've gotta find a wife.
681
00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:08,118
Time is running out.
682
00:22:08,201 --> 00:22:09,578
Well, good luck.
683
00:22:09,661 --> 00:22:10,454
And remember, there's always the
684
00:22:10,537 --> 00:22:12,080
Want Ads.
685
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:13,248
I haven't thought of that.
686
00:22:13,331 --> 00:22:15,250
The Want Ads!
687
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:26,470
Who is it?
688
00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:27,262
It's Kurt, baby.
689
00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,474
Let me in.
690
00:22:30,557 --> 00:22:31,600
Hi.
691
00:22:31,683 --> 00:22:33,143
Hi.
692
00:22:38,356 --> 00:22:39,399
Good morning.
693
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:42,444
Uh...yes, it is.
694
00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:42,986
I noticed you didn't spend
695
00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:44,905
the night in your bed.
696
00:22:44,988 --> 00:22:47,616
Doc, you know...
697
00:22:47,699 --> 00:22:50,452
Did you have an interesting
night?
698
00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:51,787
Well, since you asked.
699
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:56,083
It was...fan-tastic...
700
00:22:58,502 --> 00:22:59,294
Was that Julie sneaking
701
00:22:59,377 --> 00:23:00,462
in carrying her shoes?
702
00:23:00,545 --> 00:23:01,755
Yeah.
703
00:23:01,838 --> 00:23:02,964
I don't know if I like that.
704
00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,132
Our Julie messing with the
705
00:23:04,216 --> 00:23:05,258
passengers.
706
00:23:05,342 --> 00:23:06,343
Me neither.
707
00:23:06,426 --> 00:23:07,511
We wouldn't do a thing like
that.
708
00:23:07,594 --> 00:23:08,637
Who?
709
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:09,679
Us?
710
00:23:09,763 --> 00:23:10,889
No way!
711
00:23:18,396 --> 00:23:19,356
Good morning.
712
00:23:19,439 --> 00:23:23,443
Oh...good morning.
713
00:23:23,527 --> 00:23:25,278
Are you the lady who serves
coffee?
714
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:26,321
Absolutely not!
715
00:23:26,404 --> 00:23:27,989
I'm the lady who drinks
716
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:29,366
champagne.
717
00:23:29,449 --> 00:23:32,661
Ha, ha.
718
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:34,663
You...sleep here all night?
719
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:35,705
Yes.
720
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:37,624
Oh.
721
00:23:37,707 --> 00:23:38,667
Well.
722
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:42,504
I guess that makes us roommates.
723
00:23:42,587 --> 00:23:44,506
We...we slept together!
724
00:23:44,589 --> 00:23:46,299
I mean you slept here, too,
725
00:23:46,383 --> 00:23:49,386
huh?
726
00:23:49,469 --> 00:23:51,513
Would you marry me?
727
00:23:51,596 --> 00:23:53,515
I don't think so.
728
00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:55,350
Besides, my religion forbids
729
00:23:55,433 --> 00:23:56,685
marriage.
730
00:23:56,768 --> 00:23:58,645
I'm an avowed swinger.
731
00:23:58,728 --> 00:23:59,646
Well, if you married me,
732
00:23:59,729 --> 00:24:01,398
Ah, ah, ah, ah.
733
00:24:01,481 --> 00:24:03,191
I came on this ship for fun, not
734
00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,818
to find a husband.
735
00:24:04,901 --> 00:24:06,820
Dustin, George, Scott, Truman,
736
00:24:06,903 --> 00:24:08,196
they're cute, you know?
737
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,324
Sylvester, Marlon, Al.
738
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:12,367
A million laughs.
739
00:24:12,450 --> 00:24:13,702
But I'm looking for something a
740
00:24:13,785 --> 00:24:14,744
little different.
741
00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:15,871
But marriage?
742
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:18,874
Not that different.
743
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:22,252
You really look rotten.
744
00:24:22,335 --> 00:24:23,545
Why don't you get some sleep?
745
00:24:23,628 --> 00:24:24,671
I can't.
746
00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:28,091
There's a woman in my cabin.
747
00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:30,093
Well, what are you doing
748
00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:32,053
out here?
749
00:24:32,137 --> 00:24:33,221
She turned me down.
750
00:24:33,305 --> 00:24:34,264
Oh.
751
00:24:34,347 --> 00:24:36,391
Well, why did you have to leave
752
00:24:36,474 --> 00:24:37,017
your cabin?
753
00:24:37,100 --> 00:24:39,060
Why couldn't she go to hers?
754
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:40,061
There's somebody
755
00:24:40,145 --> 00:24:42,230
sleeping in her bathtub.
756
00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:44,733
Oh.
757
00:24:44,816 --> 00:24:46,067
Too confusing for this early in
758
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:47,611
the morning.
759
00:24:47,694 --> 00:24:49,237
Look, there's no one in my
760
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:49,905
cabin.
761
00:24:49,988 --> 00:24:50,906
Why don't you get some sleep,
762
00:24:50,989 --> 00:24:51,448
huh?
763
00:24:51,531 --> 00:24:51,907
Okay?
764
00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:52,240
You're very nice.
765
00:24:52,324 --> 00:24:52,991
Thank you.
766
00:24:53,074 --> 00:24:55,118
Oh, by the way, I'll go with
you.
767
00:24:55,202 --> 00:24:56,203
I've gotta get out of these glad
768
00:24:56,286 --> 00:24:57,746
rags.
769
00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:58,413
You're very pretty.
770
00:24:58,496 --> 00:24:59,456
Thank you.
771
00:24:59,539 --> 00:25:01,374
You're very pretty.
772
00:25:01,458 --> 00:25:02,918
Oh.
773
00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:04,502
Good morning, Gopher.
774
00:25:04,586 --> 00:25:05,295
Good morning.
775
00:25:05,378 --> 00:25:06,463
Morning.
776
00:25:06,546 --> 00:25:09,716
Morning.
777
00:25:09,799 --> 00:25:12,761
Boy, she sure starts early.
778
00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:14,387
Anyway, that's it.
779
00:25:14,471 --> 00:25:14,930
Look, I'm ...I'm sorry,
780
00:25:15,013 --> 00:25:16,932
I called you an animal.
781
00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:18,266
Would you think of me as a
person?
782
00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:19,100
Dee Dee.
783
00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:19,768
Mmm?
784
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:21,228
The big guy definitely thinks
785
00:25:21,311 --> 00:25:22,938
of you as a person.
786
00:25:23,021 --> 00:25:23,939
Do you love me?
787
00:25:24,022 --> 00:25:25,440
Hey, is the Pope Catholic?
788
00:25:25,523 --> 00:25:26,524
Okay!
789
00:25:26,608 --> 00:25:27,234
Hey, you know -- you know
790
00:25:27,317 --> 00:25:28,568
when you -- when you kicked out
791
00:25:28,652 --> 00:25:29,736
the doc, he really must have
792
00:25:29,819 --> 00:25:30,779
been sore, huh?
793
00:25:30,862 --> 00:25:32,072
Well, no, actually,
794
00:25:32,155 --> 00:25:33,240
he's very much a gentleman.
795
00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:34,282
Oh, sure.
796
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:35,408
I'll bet.
797
00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:36,910
How about going back to our
798
00:25:36,993 --> 00:25:37,786
cabin and really getting this
799
00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:38,745
honeymoon underway, huh?
800
00:25:38,828 --> 00:25:39,788
Oh, well, you know, this,
801
00:25:39,871 --> 00:25:40,455
Hmm?
802
00:25:40,538 --> 00:25:41,623
This is not really a honeymoon.
803
00:25:41,706 --> 00:25:42,332
Yeah, well, why wait for the
804
00:25:42,415 --> 00:25:43,708
last minute?
805
00:25:43,792 --> 00:25:44,167
You know, somebody may
806
00:25:44,251 --> 00:25:44,751
come in the door.
807
00:25:44,834 --> 00:25:45,794
So what?
808
00:25:45,877 --> 00:25:47,254
So what?!
809
00:25:47,337 --> 00:25:48,296
Yeah.
810
00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,465
What's the matter with you?
811
00:25:50,548 --> 00:25:51,716
What do you mean, so what?!
812
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:53,468
You're some kind of a...
813
00:25:53,551 --> 00:25:54,844
I'm a what??
814
00:25:54,928 --> 00:25:56,137
Just get out of here;
815
00:25:56,221 --> 00:25:57,013
would you just get out of here
816
00:25:57,097 --> 00:25:57,639
and leave me alone?!
817
00:25:57,722 --> 00:25:58,682
Go on!
818
00:25:58,765 --> 00:25:59,599
You want get out,
819
00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:00,433
you got get out!
820
00:26:00,517 --> 00:26:02,852
You porker!!!
821
00:26:07,857 --> 00:26:08,817
Boy!
822
00:26:08,900 --> 00:26:11,778
Sickos!
823
00:26:11,861 --> 00:26:12,862
Get some sleep, handsome.
824
00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:13,822
And when that girl gets out of
825
00:26:13,905 --> 00:26:14,656
your cabin, you can go back to
826
00:26:14,739 --> 00:26:15,991
your place.
827
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:17,784
Are you sure you won't marry me?
828
00:26:17,867 --> 00:26:19,035
Positive.
829
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:20,161
You're only being polite because
830
00:26:20,245 --> 00:26:23,331
I slept with you last night.
831
00:26:37,595 --> 00:26:39,014
Ah, Miss Jermaine,
832
00:26:39,097 --> 00:26:39,723
would you like a cup of coffee?
833
00:26:39,806 --> 00:26:41,433
No, thank you, Isaac.
834
00:26:41,516 --> 00:26:43,518
How about a glass of champagne?
835
00:26:43,601 --> 00:26:46,855
Oh no, I never drink on the job.
836
00:26:46,938 --> 00:26:48,523
Oh, you.
837
00:26:48,606 --> 00:26:49,899
Coming right up.
838
00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:10,045
Hello?
839
00:27:10,128 --> 00:27:10,628
Yes.
840
00:27:10,712 --> 00:27:11,546
Miss Jermaine.
841
00:27:11,629 --> 00:27:12,672
Okay, just a minute, please.
842
00:27:12,756 --> 00:27:14,591
Thank you.
843
00:27:19,637 --> 00:27:20,889
Uh, Miss Jermaine?
844
00:27:20,972 --> 00:27:22,390
There's a telephone call for
you.
845
00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:22,849
Ah.
846
00:27:22,932 --> 00:27:23,725
I'll plug you in.
847
00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:25,894
Thank you, Isaac.
848
00:27:25,977 --> 00:27:26,394
Hello.
849
00:27:26,478 --> 00:27:27,520
Hello?
850
00:27:27,604 --> 00:27:30,732
Oh, how are you Liz darling?
851
00:27:30,815 --> 00:27:31,566
Oh, I'm wonderful.
852
00:27:31,649 --> 00:27:32,692
Good grief.
853
00:27:32,776 --> 00:27:36,404
Elizabeth Taylor!
854
00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:38,073
How are Charlie and Phil?
855
00:27:38,156 --> 00:27:40,241
Oh, that's nice.
856
00:27:40,325 --> 00:27:41,910
Does Annie like her new horse?
857
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:42,369
Charlie?
858
00:27:42,452 --> 00:27:42,869
Phil?
859
00:27:42,952 --> 00:27:44,579
Annie?
860
00:27:44,662 --> 00:27:46,748
Queen Elizabeth?
861
00:27:46,831 --> 00:27:47,457
Oh, well, it's just
862
00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:49,250
lovely of you to call.
863
00:27:49,334 --> 00:27:51,586
I...I'd like to come to supper
864
00:27:51,669 --> 00:27:52,754
on Friday, but I'm at sea.
865
00:27:52,837 --> 00:27:53,713
It would be a little
866
00:27:53,797 --> 00:27:56,424
inconvenient.
867
00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:58,093
And there's a delicious Captain
868
00:27:58,176 --> 00:28:00,470
standing here devouring me with
869
00:28:00,553 --> 00:28:01,596
his eyes.
870
00:28:01,679 --> 00:28:03,598
So...I'd better ring off now
871
00:28:03,681 --> 00:28:05,308
before he runs away again.
872
00:28:05,392 --> 00:28:09,771
See you later, Liz.
873
00:28:09,854 --> 00:28:10,939
Why don't you come sit here and
874
00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:12,399
talk to me, you gorgeous Captain
875
00:28:12,482 --> 00:28:14,442
you!
876
00:28:14,526 --> 00:28:16,736
Well.
877
00:28:16,820 --> 00:28:19,447
'Captain,' anyway.
878
00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:20,782
No.
879
00:28:20,865 --> 00:28:22,659
Gorgeous Captain.
880
00:28:22,742 --> 00:28:23,868
When are you gonna give me a
881
00:28:23,952 --> 00:28:24,953
Captain's tour of this
882
00:28:25,036 --> 00:28:26,621
magnificent liner?
883
00:28:26,704 --> 00:28:28,832
Well, anytime,
884
00:28:28,915 --> 00:28:30,333
at your convenience.
885
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,460
No time like the present.
886
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:34,587
Shall we?
887
00:28:34,671 --> 00:28:38,508
My honor.
888
00:28:38,591 --> 00:28:39,634
Thank you.
889
00:28:39,717 --> 00:28:40,468
Miss Jermaine,
890
00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:41,594
your champagne.
891
00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:45,515
Oh, thank you.
892
00:28:45,598 --> 00:28:46,307
Mmm.
893
00:28:50,645 --> 00:28:51,646
Thank you.
894
00:28:57,944 --> 00:29:00,071
Everybody's getting in the act.
895
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:10,623
Captain: "Good day, for those of
you who wish to go offshore,
896
00:29:10,707 --> 00:29:13,501
launches will be leaving for
Cabo San Lucas."
897
00:29:13,585 --> 00:29:16,629
So long, honey,
898
00:29:16,713 --> 00:29:19,132
Julie, I think you and I need
899
00:29:19,215 --> 00:29:19,841
to have a little talk.
900
00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:20,383
Oh?
901
00:29:20,467 --> 00:29:21,509
What about?
902
00:29:21,593 --> 00:29:22,677
Can't you guess?
903
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,680
You spent last night heaven
904
00:29:25,763 --> 00:29:26,806
knows where.
905
00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:29,142
It pains me to see your moral
906
00:29:29,225 --> 00:29:30,185
standards decline.
907
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:31,478
Well, that sounds to me, Doc,
908
00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:32,479
like the pot calling the
909
00:29:32,562 --> 00:29:33,771
kettle black.
910
00:29:33,855 --> 00:29:35,356
I never claimed to have any
911
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:36,191
moral standards.
912
00:29:36,274 --> 00:29:38,151
But you.
913
00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:43,698
And the President stood up,
914
00:29:43,781 --> 00:29:45,074
looked into my eyes and said,
915
00:29:45,158 --> 00:29:47,160
"Again"?
916
00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:48,369
Of course, that wasn't near as
917
00:29:48,453 --> 00:29:50,038
exciting as when Neil Armstrong
918
00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:52,415
let me fly one of his test
planes.
919
00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:53,541
I got it to Mach Three and
920
00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:54,751
he told me the plane
921
00:29:54,834 --> 00:29:56,252
had never been flown that fast.
922
00:29:56,336 --> 00:29:56,878
Of course,
923
00:29:56,961 --> 00:29:57,879
we couldn't tell Lockheed,
924
00:29:57,962 --> 00:29:58,379
I'd done it.
925
00:29:58,463 --> 00:29:59,047
Ha, ha, ha.
926
00:29:59,130 --> 00:30:00,173
Really!
927
00:30:00,256 --> 00:30:01,216
Yes.
928
00:30:01,299 --> 00:30:03,218
You know, Ireni,
929
00:30:03,301 --> 00:30:04,677
I like your style.
930
00:30:04,761 --> 00:30:05,803
And I like yours,
931
00:30:05,887 --> 00:30:08,056
Merrill.
932
00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:09,390
Would you consider continuing
933
00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:11,893
this stimulating conversation
934
00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:13,603
in a quieter spot?
935
00:30:13,686 --> 00:30:15,063
Well, my cabin has a lovely
936
00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:16,564
view of the ocean.
937
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:17,899
Mmm.
938
00:30:17,982 --> 00:30:19,609
Sounds stunning.
939
00:30:27,659 --> 00:30:30,411
Yoo-hoo, Smith.
940
00:30:30,495 --> 00:30:31,746
Hi, O'Rourke.
941
00:30:31,829 --> 00:30:32,914
Well, you were right, Smith.
942
00:30:32,997 --> 00:30:35,416
This ship is a hotbed of hot
beds.
943
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:35,875
What do you mean?
944
00:30:35,959 --> 00:30:36,960
I never said that.
945
00:30:37,043 --> 00:30:38,670
So far, I've got a jet-set lady,
946
00:30:38,753 --> 00:30:39,754
a marriage-mad heir,
947
00:30:39,837 --> 00:30:41,089
a red-headed kook,
948
00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:42,966
a guy with muscles on his
muscles, and
949
00:30:43,049 --> 00:30:44,759
assorted members of your crew.
950
00:30:44,842 --> 00:30:45,426
Now, wait a minute.
951
00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:46,594
I'm gonna nail 'em to the wall.
952
00:30:46,678 --> 00:30:47,095
O'Rourke,
953
00:30:47,178 --> 00:30:47,679
now, wait a minute.
954
00:30:47,762 --> 00:30:49,264
You've got this all wrong.
955
00:30:49,347 --> 00:30:50,723
If anything was going on on this
ship,
956
00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:51,891
I'd know about it.
957
00:30:51,975 --> 00:30:52,934
Smith, I appreciate what you've
958
00:30:53,017 --> 00:30:53,935
done for me, and I'm going
959
00:30:54,018 --> 00:30:55,270
to mention your name in my
960
00:30:55,353 --> 00:30:56,396
article.
961
00:30:56,479 --> 00:30:57,272
See you later.
962
00:30:57,355 --> 00:30:57,605
O'Rourke!
963
00:30:57,689 --> 00:30:58,648
Wait a...
964
00:30:58,731 --> 00:31:11,452
O'Rourke!
965
00:31:11,536 --> 00:31:12,287
Oh no.
966
00:31:12,370 --> 00:31:13,621
Yes.
967
00:31:13,705 --> 00:31:14,622
How long have you been in this
968
00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:15,707
business, anyway?
969
00:31:15,790 --> 00:31:18,459
Uh not too long to be tired of
it.
970
00:31:18,543 --> 00:31:19,502
Here we are.
971
00:31:29,554 --> 00:31:31,306
I forgot,
972
00:31:31,389 --> 00:31:32,348
Don't frown, Merrill.
973
00:31:32,432 --> 00:31:33,349
Who is he?
974
00:31:33,433 --> 00:31:33,975
Oh, he?
975
00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:35,852
Oh, a passenger, I think.
976
00:31:35,935 --> 00:31:38,271
Well, I just found him on deck
977
00:31:38,354 --> 00:31:39,647
this morning, fast asleep.
978
00:31:39,731 --> 00:31:40,940
He had been there all night.
979
00:31:41,024 --> 00:31:42,191
A stowaway?
980
00:31:42,275 --> 00:31:43,318
Oh.
981
00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:44,360
A girl was in his cabin and
982
00:31:44,444 --> 00:31:45,653
wouldn't get out, so I just,
983
00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:46,779
let him use mine.
984
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:47,822
Oh.
985
00:31:47,905 --> 00:31:48,948
Ha, ha, ha...
986
00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:50,450
You know, you're a most gracious
987
00:31:50,533 --> 00:31:52,076
woman.
988
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,829
Perhaps, perhaps,
989
00:31:54,912 --> 00:31:55,455
I can return the favor.
990
00:31:55,538 --> 00:31:56,789
Huh?
991
00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:58,791
I thought maybe I could persuade
992
00:31:58,875 --> 00:32:02,545
you to use my cabin.
993
00:32:02,629 --> 00:32:04,839
Oh.
994
00:32:04,922 --> 00:32:05,673
It wouldn't take any persuasion
995
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,759
at all.
996
00:32:13,806 --> 00:32:15,683
I wonder if Harold Robbins
997
00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,894
started like this.
998
00:32:17,977 --> 00:32:18,728
VOICE: Captain Stubing to the
999
00:32:18,811 --> 00:32:19,854
bridge, please.
1000
00:32:19,937 --> 00:32:22,023
Captain Stubing to the bridge.
1001
00:32:22,106 --> 00:32:25,526
Well, duty calls.
1002
00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:27,236
May I see you tonight?
1003
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:28,363
Of course.
1004
00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:29,989
But you'll have to charm me all
1005
00:32:30,073 --> 00:32:31,866
over again.
1006
00:32:31,949 --> 00:32:34,327
You won't have to charm me.
1007
00:32:34,410 --> 00:32:37,705
I'll stay charmed all day long.
1008
00:32:53,721 --> 00:32:54,263
So, you see,
1009
00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:55,473
I'm gonna be rich.
1010
00:32:55,556 --> 00:32:57,266
Now, would you please marry me?
1011
00:32:57,350 --> 00:32:58,059
Oh, Nelson,
1012
00:32:58,142 --> 00:33:01,062
you're hysterical!
1013
00:33:01,145 --> 00:33:01,938
What am I gonna do?
1014
00:33:02,021 --> 00:33:03,064
Well, what seems to be the
1015
00:33:03,147 --> 00:33:03,898
problem?
1016
00:33:03,981 --> 00:33:07,193
Well, if I'm not married within
a week,
1017
00:33:07,276 --> 00:33:09,821
I lose my inheritance.
1018
00:33:09,904 --> 00:33:10,613
Throw yourself on the mercy
1019
00:33:10,697 --> 00:33:11,239
of the court.
1020
00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:12,407
Maybe one of the jurors will
1021
00:33:12,490 --> 00:33:13,533
marry you..
1022
00:33:13,616 --> 00:33:16,577
And you call yourself a doctor.
1023
00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:17,578
Would you, care to dance?
1024
00:33:17,662 --> 00:33:27,088
I would love to.
1025
00:33:27,171 --> 00:33:31,551
What am I doing wrong?
1026
00:33:33,803 --> 00:33:35,138
Oh, Merrill, you're such a bad
boy
1027
00:33:35,221 --> 00:33:36,764
telling me a story like that.
1028
00:33:36,848 --> 00:33:38,474
But I loved it.
1029
00:33:38,558 --> 00:33:39,642
Are you...
1030
00:33:39,726 --> 00:33:42,603
charmed again?
1031
00:33:42,687 --> 00:33:45,940
Maybe after one more champagne.
1032
00:33:46,023 --> 00:33:47,608
Well, perhaps we can have it
1033
00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:49,902
in my cabin.
1034
00:33:49,986 --> 00:33:51,904
Then why stop at one?
1035
00:34:01,038 --> 00:34:02,081
You have to...
1036
00:34:02,165 --> 00:34:02,623
you know,
1037
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:03,833
get your trip together.
1038
00:34:03,916 --> 00:34:05,626
I have my space, and.
1039
00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:06,169
For sure.
1040
00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:09,297
You know, I have mine.
1041
00:34:09,380 --> 00:34:10,798
Oh, separate bedrooms.
1042
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:12,800
I never thought of that.
1043
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:14,510
No, that's not what I mean.
1044
00:34:14,594 --> 00:34:15,261
I, you know,
1045
00:34:15,344 --> 00:34:16,679
I mean your,
1046
00:34:16,763 --> 00:34:17,805
space.
1047
00:34:17,889 --> 00:34:18,306
For sure.
1048
00:34:18,389 --> 00:34:21,851
You know, your space.
1049
00:34:21,934 --> 00:34:22,977
Hey, baby.
1050
00:34:23,060 --> 00:34:26,272
Can we kinda talk this over?
1051
00:34:26,355 --> 00:34:27,607
Buzz off, Kurt!
1052
00:34:27,690 --> 00:34:30,568
You're standing in my space!
1053
00:34:43,790 --> 00:34:45,291
Feel it in the air, Smith?
1054
00:34:45,374 --> 00:34:45,875
What?
1055
00:34:45,958 --> 00:34:48,002
The calm before the storm.
1056
00:34:48,085 --> 00:34:49,796
These sex fiends are gonna go
1057
00:34:49,879 --> 00:34:50,838
berserk tonight.
1058
00:34:50,922 --> 00:34:53,174
I know it.
1059
00:34:53,257 --> 00:34:53,841
Want a drink, O'Rourke?
1060
00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:54,967
Sure.
1061
00:34:55,051 --> 00:34:56,135
Beer, neat.
1062
00:34:56,219 --> 00:34:57,678
But be cool.
1063
00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,347
Hate to be seen boozing it up
1064
00:34:59,430 --> 00:35:00,473
with a source.
1065
00:35:00,556 --> 00:35:01,516
That's me.
1066
00:35:01,599 --> 00:35:04,352
Cool as all outdoors.
1067
00:35:04,435 --> 00:35:08,689
Smith -- I like you.
1068
00:35:08,773 --> 00:35:09,232
You're one heckuva guy,
1069
00:35:09,315 --> 00:35:12,735
O'Rourke.
1070
00:35:12,819 --> 00:35:15,196
Nuts?
1071
00:35:29,085 --> 00:35:30,336
From the first time I saw you
1072
00:35:30,419 --> 00:35:32,129
on this ship, I felt that you
1073
00:35:32,213 --> 00:35:33,714
were a woman who comes into
1074
00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:35,550
a man's life but once.
1075
00:35:35,633 --> 00:35:36,843
Mmm.
1076
00:35:36,926 --> 00:35:37,885
How eloquently stated.
1077
00:35:37,969 --> 00:35:39,637
Would you mind terribly if
1078
00:35:39,720 --> 00:35:41,013
I kissed you?
1079
00:35:41,097 --> 00:35:41,889
After such a glowing tribune,
1080
00:35:41,973 --> 00:35:43,891
I'd be shattered if you
1081
00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:45,393
didn't.
1082
00:35:53,484 --> 00:35:54,735
Ireni,
1083
00:36:02,869 --> 00:36:06,080
Excuse me, lovely lady.
1084
00:36:06,163 --> 00:36:08,082
I'd like to slip into something
1085
00:36:08,165 --> 00:36:09,542
more comfortable.
1086
00:36:39,655 --> 00:36:40,615
Hello.
1087
00:36:40,698 --> 00:36:41,949
Hello.
1088
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:43,618
Could you please page Ireni
1089
00:36:43,701 --> 00:36:44,785
Jermaine right away, please?
1090
00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:45,912
It's an emergency!
1091
00:36:45,995 --> 00:36:47,914
No, no, I can't wait!
1092
00:36:47,997 --> 00:36:49,624
You have to page Ireni Jermaine
1093
00:36:49,707 --> 00:36:50,458
right now!
1094
00:36:50,541 --> 00:36:50,708
Please.
1095
00:36:50,791 --> 00:36:52,501
I...
1096
00:37:00,885 --> 00:37:01,761
I don't understand.
1097
00:37:05,056 --> 00:37:05,848
I can't go through with it,
1098
00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:06,766
that's all there is to
1099
00:37:06,849 --> 00:37:08,100
understand.
1100
00:37:08,184 --> 00:37:10,603
You can't go through with what?
1101
00:37:10,686 --> 00:37:12,313
This whole silly fraud!
1102
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:19,445
I'm not Ireni Jermaine.
1103
00:37:19,528 --> 00:37:20,488
I'm Irene.
1104
00:37:20,571 --> 00:37:23,824
Irene Funston.
1105
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:24,992
A widowed housewife from
1106
00:37:25,076 --> 00:37:27,620
Pacoima.
1107
00:37:27,703 --> 00:37:30,873
Oh.
1108
00:37:30,957 --> 00:37:34,293
I don't know what to say.
1109
00:37:38,381 --> 00:37:41,509
You're still a lovely lady.
1110
00:37:41,592 --> 00:37:43,469
Filled with wit and grace.
1111
00:37:43,552 --> 00:37:44,512
Please.
1112
00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:46,347
I don't want to start anything,
1113
00:37:46,430 --> 00:37:50,017
I can't finish.
1114
00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:51,560
This cruise was going to be the
1115
00:37:51,644 --> 00:37:53,270
fantasy to last me for the rest
1116
00:37:53,354 --> 00:37:55,272
of my life.
1117
00:37:55,356 --> 00:37:58,484
A memory I could look back on,
1118
00:37:58,567 --> 00:37:59,902
in the years to come,
1119
00:37:59,986 --> 00:38:03,572
and...you...
1120
00:38:03,656 --> 00:38:05,700
you were gonna be a major part
of
1121
00:38:05,783 --> 00:38:08,035
my scrapbook.
1122
00:38:10,997 --> 00:38:12,748
But,
1123
00:38:12,832 --> 00:38:16,377
what I realize now, is,
1124
00:38:16,460 --> 00:38:19,380
what I need isn't
1125
00:38:19,463 --> 00:38:22,216
a shipboard fling,
1126
00:38:22,299 --> 00:38:25,553
but a man at home I can cook
for,
1127
00:38:27,805 --> 00:38:30,057
and clean for,
1128
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:32,601
and iron shirts for.
1129
00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:36,063
I need what I used to have.
1130
00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:39,108
I'm sorry.
1131
00:38:39,191 --> 00:38:41,485
I can't be that man.
1132
00:38:48,826 --> 00:38:50,453
Whoever you are,
1133
00:38:50,536 --> 00:38:53,706
you're a magnificent woman,
1134
00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:10,389
Irene.
1135
00:39:21,358 --> 00:39:24,403
Are you all right?
1136
00:39:24,487 --> 00:39:25,571
I will be.
1137
00:39:35,873 --> 00:39:38,793
Why are you crying?
1138
00:39:38,876 --> 00:39:39,502
Whattaya talking about?
1139
00:39:39,585 --> 00:39:42,588
Big guys don't cry.
1140
00:39:42,671 --> 00:39:46,133
My late husband, he,
1141
00:39:46,217 --> 00:39:47,968
he was a big hulk like you.
1142
00:39:48,052 --> 00:39:49,970
He used to cry at tire
1143
00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:51,680
commercials.
1144
00:39:53,015 --> 00:39:53,808
You're just saying that to
1145
00:39:53,891 --> 00:39:54,517
make me feel better.
1146
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,143
Uhm-uhm.
1147
00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:58,145
A real man shouldn't be afraid
1148
00:39:58,229 --> 00:39:59,563
to show his emotions.
1149
00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:02,691
And right now,
1150
00:40:02,775 --> 00:40:04,318
you're acting like a man.
1151
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:05,361
I am?
1152
00:40:05,444 --> 00:40:06,570
Uh-huh.
1153
00:40:13,911 --> 00:40:16,163
Girl trouble, huh?
1154
00:40:16,247 --> 00:40:17,498
Yeah...I...
1155
00:40:17,581 --> 00:40:20,167
I think I've been jilted.
1156
00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:23,045
Who would want to jilt you?
1157
00:40:23,129 --> 00:40:23,546
I mean,
1158
00:40:23,629 --> 00:40:25,047
you're good looking,
1159
00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:27,967
obviously sensitive.
1160
00:40:28,050 --> 00:40:30,302
Yeah, it's true.
1161
00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:32,304
See, you may not believe this,
1162
00:40:32,388 --> 00:40:33,305
but,
1163
00:40:33,389 --> 00:40:35,558
well, I have an ego problem.
1164
00:40:35,641 --> 00:40:37,685
Oh.
1165
00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:40,396
Sometimes people have to tell
1166
00:40:40,479 --> 00:40:42,064
the world that they're the
1167
00:40:42,148 --> 00:40:45,192
greatest because nobody's
1168
00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:46,318
telling them they're the
1169
00:40:46,402 --> 00:40:47,361
greatest.
1170
00:40:47,444 --> 00:40:50,698
Yeah?
1171
00:40:50,781 --> 00:40:53,159
Yeah.
1172
00:40:56,245 --> 00:40:58,664
You are the greatest.
1173
00:41:07,631 --> 00:41:08,716
So I never really learned
1174
00:41:08,799 --> 00:41:10,301
to play basketball.
1175
00:41:16,348 --> 00:41:18,392
Can I buy you a drink?
1176
00:41:18,475 --> 00:41:19,560
I beg your pardon?
1177
00:41:19,643 --> 00:41:20,895
We've not been properly
1178
00:41:20,978 --> 00:41:22,229
introduced.
1179
00:41:22,313 --> 00:41:24,273
My name is Nelson Hoag.
1180
00:41:24,356 --> 00:41:25,733
I'll have a Scotch and water.
1181
00:41:25,816 --> 00:41:26,525
Could I have a Scotch and water
1182
00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:28,027
for the lady, please?
1183
00:41:28,110 --> 00:41:29,737
Okay, but last round.
1184
00:41:29,820 --> 00:41:33,073
Who's fighting?
1185
00:41:33,157 --> 00:41:33,866
I think we'll forget about
1186
00:41:33,949 --> 00:41:34,408
the drinks.
1187
00:41:34,491 --> 00:41:35,576
Lady -- this guy won't
1188
00:41:35,659 --> 00:41:36,744
forget any drinks he's had
1189
00:41:36,827 --> 00:41:37,786
tonight.
1190
00:41:37,870 --> 00:41:38,954
What's your name?
1191
00:41:39,038 --> 00:41:40,414
Dee Dee.
1192
00:41:40,498 --> 00:41:41,207
Dee Dee.
1193
00:41:41,290 --> 00:41:44,126
That's D period, D period
1194
00:41:44,210 --> 00:41:45,252
or just Dee Dee?
1195
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:48,088
Just Dee Dee.
1196
00:41:48,172 --> 00:41:51,300
You're D period, D period.
1197
00:41:51,383 --> 00:41:53,177
Dead Drunk
1198
00:41:59,350 --> 00:42:02,728
Nelson, do you own any horses?
1199
00:42:02,811 --> 00:42:03,562
No, I,
1200
00:42:03,646 --> 00:42:04,605
I'm afraid of large animals.
1201
00:42:04,688 --> 00:42:06,273
I have a rabbit.
1202
00:42:06,357 --> 00:42:07,441
His name is Benjamin.
1203
00:42:07,524 --> 00:42:08,776
Would you like to see his
1204
00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:09,902
picture?
1205
00:42:09,985 --> 00:42:11,904
Sure.
1206
00:42:14,156 --> 00:42:16,575
Benjamin.
1207
00:42:16,659 --> 00:42:18,160
He's adorable.
1208
00:42:18,244 --> 00:42:20,162
I have a full scrapbook
1209
00:42:20,246 --> 00:42:21,413
of pictures of Benjamin,
1210
00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:22,456
in my cabin.
1211
00:42:22,539 --> 00:42:24,583
Would you like to see it?
1212
00:42:24,667 --> 00:42:27,711
Yes, I would.
1213
00:42:30,714 --> 00:42:32,800
Oh, Benjamin!
1214
00:42:32,883 --> 00:42:33,842
Nelson.
1215
00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:34,218
This is Benjamin.
1216
00:42:34,301 --> 00:42:36,095
I'm Nelson.
1217
00:42:36,178 --> 00:42:37,137
Say, what about the bill?
1218
00:42:37,221 --> 00:42:39,974
Oh, no, thank you.
1219
00:42:55,906 --> 00:42:59,159
Dee Dee,
1220
00:42:59,243 --> 00:43:02,496
it's morning.
1221
00:43:02,579 --> 00:43:04,290
I brought you some breakfast.
1222
00:43:04,373 --> 00:43:07,167
Oh, Nelson,
1223
00:43:07,251 --> 00:43:09,503
how thoughtful.
1224
00:43:09,586 --> 00:43:11,005
You don't mind serving a woman?
1225
00:43:11,088 --> 00:43:11,964
No, of course not.
1226
00:43:12,047 --> 00:43:13,007
Why should I?
1227
00:43:13,090 --> 00:43:13,966
You'd do the same for me,
1228
00:43:14,049 --> 00:43:15,884
wouldn't you?
1229
00:43:15,968 --> 00:43:17,803
People should share.
1230
00:43:21,890 --> 00:43:24,143
I...I hope I didn't get fresh
1231
00:43:24,226 --> 00:43:27,021
with you last night.
1232
00:43:27,104 --> 00:43:28,188
You passed out showing me
1233
00:43:28,272 --> 00:43:31,859
your rabbit album.
1234
00:43:31,942 --> 00:43:32,901
Real cute.
1235
00:43:32,985 --> 00:43:34,945
Yeah, he is, isn't he?
1236
00:43:35,029 --> 00:43:37,656
I mean you.
1237
00:43:37,740 --> 00:43:38,699
Sugar.
1238
00:43:38,782 --> 00:43:41,744
Yes, dear?
1239
00:43:41,827 --> 00:43:44,204
No, I need the sugar.
1240
00:43:44,288 --> 00:43:47,416
Oh...right...
1241
00:43:47,499 --> 00:43:50,836
It's not as sweet as you are.
1242
00:43:53,797 --> 00:43:56,133
Nelson,
1243
00:43:58,385 --> 00:44:00,346
will you marry me?
1244
00:44:00,429 --> 00:44:01,388
Huh?!
1245
00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:03,932
I mean, you're the most
1246
00:44:04,016 --> 00:44:04,892
wonderful man I've ever met.
1247
00:44:04,975 --> 00:44:09,021
You're kind and considerate.
1248
00:44:09,104 --> 00:44:10,731
Please say you'll marry me.
1249
00:44:10,814 --> 00:44:12,191
You'll marry me.
1250
00:44:12,274 --> 00:44:13,567
I -- I mean, of course I'll
1251
00:44:13,650 --> 00:44:14,193
marry you.
1252
00:44:14,276 --> 00:44:15,235
Oh!
1253
00:44:15,319 --> 00:44:16,362
Oh!
1254
00:44:16,445 --> 00:44:17,404
Oh!!
1255
00:44:17,488 --> 00:44:18,739
Oh, honey!
1256
00:44:18,822 --> 00:44:21,075
They didn't have any honey.
1257
00:44:21,158 --> 00:44:22,910
No, I mean you.
1258
00:44:22,993 --> 00:44:25,913
Oh.
1259
00:44:25,996 --> 00:44:28,582
Nelson,
1260
00:44:28,665 --> 00:44:30,417
could we have a June wedding?
1261
00:44:30,501 --> 00:44:31,293
Well, if I get married
1262
00:44:31,377 --> 00:44:32,419
before Friday, I'll inherit
1263
00:44:32,503 --> 00:44:34,880
three million dollars.
1264
00:44:37,966 --> 00:44:38,592
Could we have the reception
1265
00:44:38,675 --> 00:44:40,761
in June?
1266
00:44:44,181 --> 00:44:45,140
It happened!
1267
00:44:45,224 --> 00:44:46,266
It happened!
1268
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:46,809
What happened?
1269
00:44:46,892 --> 00:44:47,476
I'm looking for Dee Dee.
1270
00:44:47,559 --> 00:44:48,727
She's got the key to my cabin.
1271
00:44:48,811 --> 00:44:49,061
Doc!
1272
00:44:49,144 --> 00:44:49,353
Doc!
1273
00:44:49,436 --> 00:44:50,062
Come in.
1274
00:44:50,145 --> 00:44:50,729
Something wonderful is going to
1275
00:44:50,813 --> 00:44:51,438
happen!
1276
00:44:51,522 --> 00:44:52,147
Come on -- come on!
1277
00:44:52,231 --> 00:44:53,273
It happened!
1278
00:44:53,357 --> 00:44:56,944
It happened!
1279
00:44:57,027 --> 00:44:58,112
Julie, come in here!
1280
00:44:58,195 --> 00:44:58,946
It's terrific!
1281
00:44:59,029 --> 00:45:01,615
What?!
1282
00:45:01,698 --> 00:45:02,199
Holy Toledo!
1283
00:45:02,282 --> 00:45:05,285
A menage a four!
1284
00:45:05,369 --> 00:45:05,953
Oh, you two!
1285
00:45:06,036 --> 00:45:06,495
Come on in!
1286
00:45:06,578 --> 00:45:07,329
We want you to join us!
1287
00:45:07,413 --> 00:45:09,957
Come on!
1288
00:45:12,918 --> 00:45:13,377
Go on in.
1289
00:45:13,460 --> 00:45:16,004
The more the merrier!
1290
00:45:18,006 --> 00:45:18,966
Hey!
1291
00:45:19,049 --> 00:45:21,593
All right!
1292
00:45:21,677 --> 00:45:22,428
If the old Dodgers drew this
1293
00:45:22,511 --> 00:45:22,970
many people, they'd
1294
00:45:23,053 --> 00:45:27,307
still be in Brooklyn.
1295
00:45:27,391 --> 00:45:30,060
A party at this hour?
1296
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:31,145
Go in.
1297
00:45:31,228 --> 00:45:32,271
They're all your sicko
1298
00:45:32,354 --> 00:45:35,274
friends.
1299
00:45:35,357 --> 00:45:35,774
Captain Stubing!
1300
00:45:35,858 --> 00:45:36,358
You're just in time!
1301
00:45:36,442 --> 00:45:36,817
You're the only thing this
1302
00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:39,194
party's missing!
1303
00:45:39,278 --> 00:45:40,779
Uh, Smith.
1304
00:45:40,863 --> 00:45:42,781
as long as you're out,
1305
00:45:42,865 --> 00:45:45,159
get some champagne!
1306
00:45:45,242 --> 00:45:47,202
Yes, sir!
1307
00:45:52,416 --> 00:45:52,916
Hey, O'Rourke,
1308
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:53,959
you want some champagne?
1309
00:45:54,042 --> 00:45:55,002
Sure.
1310
00:45:55,085 --> 00:45:56,128
I've got a lot to celebrate, you
1311
00:45:56,211 --> 00:45:56,753
you know.
1312
00:45:56,837 --> 00:45:57,671
I'm gonna make millions off
1313
00:45:57,754 --> 00:45:58,672
this!
1314
00:46:02,759 --> 00:46:03,177
You know what,
1315
00:46:03,260 --> 00:46:03,677
O'Rourke.
1316
00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:04,344
Hmm?
1317
00:46:04,428 --> 00:46:05,637
I hate crowds.
1318
00:46:05,721 --> 00:46:06,513
What do you say we go to my
1319
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:08,640
cabin and start our own party?
1320
00:46:08,724 --> 00:46:09,391
I like the way you think,
1321
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:14,188
Smith.
1322
00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:15,772
Well, Smith, how about those
rans..
1323
00:46:29,286 --> 00:46:31,413
All: Bye, so long.
1324
00:46:31,497 --> 00:46:32,206
You will come to the wedding,
1325
00:46:32,289 --> 00:46:32,873
won't you?
1326
00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:33,916
Yes.
1327
00:46:33,999 --> 00:46:34,583
As long as you promise not to
1328
00:46:34,666 --> 00:46:35,501
throw the bridal bouquet in my
1329
00:46:35,584 --> 00:46:37,252
direction.
1330
00:46:37,336 --> 00:46:38,670
Julie, I must thank you.
1331
00:46:38,754 --> 00:46:40,047
If you hadn't turned me down, I
1332
00:46:40,130 --> 00:46:41,340
don't think I ever would have
1333
00:46:41,423 --> 00:46:42,382
found Dee Dee.
1334
00:46:42,466 --> 00:46:43,509
Well, I'm glad that everything
1335
00:46:43,592 --> 00:46:44,510
worked out well for you,
1336
00:46:44,593 --> 00:46:46,220
Nelson.
1337
00:46:46,303 --> 00:46:47,262
Goodbye.
1338
00:46:47,346 --> 00:46:48,514
Goodbye.
1339
00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:55,521
Well...
1340
00:46:55,604 --> 00:46:56,897
goodbye, Merrill.
1341
00:46:56,980 --> 00:46:58,023
It's not goodbye,
1342
00:46:58,106 --> 00:47:00,025
Ireni,
1343
00:47:00,108 --> 00:47:02,277
it's "Hasta luego."
1344
00:47:02,361 --> 00:47:04,947
Until we meet again.
1345
00:47:05,030 --> 00:47:06,073
Oh, it's not Ireni.
1346
00:47:06,156 --> 00:47:07,157
It's Irene.
1347
00:47:07,241 --> 00:47:08,325
Irene.
1348
00:47:11,662 --> 00:47:12,454
You mean Julie and Nelson,
1349
00:47:12,538 --> 00:47:13,080
didn't?
1350
00:47:13,163 --> 00:47:14,206
No.
1351
00:47:14,289 --> 00:47:15,249
And Julie and Doc
1352
00:47:15,332 --> 00:47:16,041
didn't either?
1353
00:47:16,124 --> 00:47:17,292
No.
1354
00:47:17,376 --> 00:47:18,001
Well, if they didn't,
1355
00:47:18,085 --> 00:47:19,711
and Ireni and Nelson didn't, and
1356
00:47:19,795 --> 00:47:20,837
Doc and Dee Dee didn't,
1357
00:47:20,921 --> 00:47:24,424
then the only ones who
did...were...
1358
00:47:24,508 --> 00:47:25,884
Oh, don't tell my editor!
1359
00:47:25,968 --> 00:47:27,594
Hey, not this guy.
1360
00:47:27,678 --> 00:47:28,512
I don't kiss and tell.
1361
00:47:28,595 --> 00:47:31,181
Smith, you are terrific.
1362
00:47:31,265 --> 00:47:33,183
O'Rourke,
1363
00:47:33,267 --> 00:47:35,852
you're still one heckuva guy.
1364
00:47:39,898 --> 00:47:40,566
Goodbye.
1365
00:47:40,649 --> 00:47:41,608
Bye-bye.
1366
00:47:41,692 --> 00:47:42,150
Bye-bye.
1367
00:47:42,234 --> 00:47:43,235
So long.
1368
00:47:43,318 --> 00:47:43,944
Bye -- everybody.
1369
00:47:44,027 --> 00:47:44,987
Bye-bye.
1370
00:47:45,070 --> 00:47:47,281
Bye-bye.
1371
00:47:47,364 --> 00:47:47,781
Bye-bye O'Rourke.
1372
00:47:47,864 --> 00:47:49,992
Good bye.
1373
00:47:52,202 --> 00:47:55,247
Well...I had an interesting
1374
00:47:55,330 --> 00:47:56,290
voyage.
1375
00:47:56,373 --> 00:47:59,084
Mine was...unusual.
1376
00:47:59,167 --> 00:48:00,085
Mine was certainly out of
1377
00:48:00,168 --> 00:48:01,128
the ordinary.
1378
00:48:01,211 --> 00:48:03,130
Mine was dull.
1379
00:48:03,213 --> 00:48:05,257
I didn't meet a single lady.
1380
00:48:05,340 --> 00:48:07,843
She was married.
1381
00:48:07,926 --> 00:48:08,969
It's strange.
1382
00:48:09,052 --> 00:48:10,971
You know, I have a vaguely
1383
00:48:11,054 --> 00:48:13,974
unsatisfied feeling, rather like
1384
00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:15,434
having eaten a Chinese dinner an
1385
00:48:15,517 --> 00:48:16,476
hour ago.
1386
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:18,186
I have a distinctly
1387
00:48:18,270 --> 00:48:19,479
unsatisfied feeling, rather like
1388
00:48:19,563 --> 00:48:20,814
having been denied a Chinese
1389
00:48:20,897 --> 00:48:22,441
dinner an hour ago.
1390
00:48:22,524 --> 00:48:23,150
And I have a totally
1391
00:48:23,233 --> 00:48:24,484
frustrating feeling, rather like
1392
00:48:24,568 --> 00:48:26,278
not even knowing what a Chinese
1393
00:48:26,361 --> 00:48:27,863
dinner is...
1394
00:48:27,946 --> 00:48:28,947
I feel terrific.
81767
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