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1
00:00:11,302 --> 00:00:16,558
♪Love, exciting and new.♪
2
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:26,276
♪Come aboard, we're expectingyou♪
3
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:33,324
♪Love, life's sweetest reward.♪
4
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:43,793
♪Let it flow, it floats back toyou♪
5
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:49,716
♪The Love Boat soon will bemaking another run.♪
6
00:00:51,801 --> 00:00:58,183
♪The Love Boat promisessomething for everyone♪
7
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,352
♪Set a course for adventure♪
8
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:04,731
♪Your mind on a new romance♪
9
00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,365
♪Love won't hurt anymore.♪
10
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:23,833
♪It's an open smile on afriendly shore♪
11
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:34,219
♪Yes, love .Welcome aboard,it's love.♪
12
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:01,454
Thanks for bringin' me down,
Bernie.
13
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:03,665
I really appreciate it.
14
00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:04,290
Howie, what are friends for?
15
00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:06,835
Just promise me one thing.
16
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:07,877
What's that?
17
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,296
You spent a lot of money on a
cruise, don't blow it.
18
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:12,048
Get some of the action.
19
00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:15,176
Ah, Bernie, I'm not like you.
20
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,011
I...I can't come on to girls the
way you do.
21
00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,263
Yeah, with women I'm a verbal
clod.
22
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:19,848
And true.
23
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:20,890
That's why I bought you this.
24
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:21,933
"How To Hit On Girls?"
25
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:25,019
And believe me, it's not about
karate.
26
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,020
Nah, this isn't gonna work,
Bernie.
27
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:27,856
Oh yeah?
28
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:28,481
Well, what do you say to a girl
when you first meet her?
29
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:31,317
I say...my name's Howard.
30
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,193
What's yours?
31
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,152
Terrific.
32
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:35,071
With a line like that, you could
become a monk.
33
00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,659
"Excuse me, I don't mean to be
forward, but...are you a
professional model?
34
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,411
No way!
35
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:42,412
Oh, go on.
36
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,913
Laugh if you wanna, but this
stuff is dynamite.
37
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,250
You're gonna score so much, Burt
Reynolds is gonna be callin' you
for pointers.
38
00:02:47,333 --> 00:02:48,585
Bernie, I don't want to score.
39
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,086
I just want to meet a nice girl.
40
00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:53,256
Okay.
41
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:54,090
Does she look like a nice girl
to you?
42
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:58,761
Yeah.
43
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:03,182
Watch...You watchin'?
44
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:07,478
Excuse me...excuse me.
45
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:10,899
I don't mean to be forward,
but....are you a professional
model?
46
00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:12,442
Why yes.
47
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:13,568
How did you know?
48
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:14,903
Oh, I just...I thought you were.
49
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:15,945
Would you like a lift somewhere?
50
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,071
Can I drop you someplace?
51
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:17,947
Sure.
52
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:18,740
Well, hi.
53
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,379
Welcome aboard.
54
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:34,255
Hi.
55
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,506
We're Mr. and Mrs. Desmond.
56
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,342
Oh, newlyweds.
57
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:39,093
Oh no.
58
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,345
We've been married five hours.
59
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:42,305
Oh, well then, happy
anniversary.
60
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:42,972
Thank you.
61
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,474
Which way to the Promenade Deck?
62
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:45,808
Through this door and up the
stairs.
63
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:46,643
Have a great honeymoon.
64
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,104
Oh, you can bet on it.
65
00:03:51,522 --> 00:03:52,231
Ohhh...
66
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,653
Max, will you kindly not make a
scene here.
67
00:03:56,736 --> 00:03:58,446
Gladys, this is ridiculous.
68
00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:01,783
We're stuck on a ship for a week
with six hundred strangers.
69
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,159
We could have been in Rome.
70
00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:04,994
We've been there three times.
71
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,079
I am bored with Rome.
72
00:04:06,162 --> 00:04:08,164
Bored with Rome?
73
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:12,377
Fifteen years ago we were happy
to have a nail to hang your
bathing suit on in the bathhouse
at Coney Island.
74
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:16,631
I hope we're never like that.
75
00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:17,715
No way.
76
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,258
I don't even know where Coney
Island is.
77
00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,345
Hi.
78
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,221
Hello.
79
00:04:23,304 --> 00:04:24,138
Welcome aboard.
80
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,014
Hello, I'm Wendel Snead.
81
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,057
This is my wife, Ida.
82
00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:27,183
Well, how do you do?
83
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:28,017
We're in C-one-twenty.
84
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,060
That's on the Coral Deck.
85
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,187
Coral Deck...Sounds so exotic.
86
00:04:33,064 --> 00:04:34,524
You can take the elevator in the
lobby.
87
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:35,358
Thank you.
88
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,403
Oh...when we get to Cabo San
Lucas,
89
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,615
do you think our grandchildren
could come on board and look
around?
90
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,200
Oh, yes, of course.
91
00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:45,535
I'd love to give them a tour.
92
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:46,327
Oh, Wendel.
93
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,038
I wonder what they look like.
94
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,290
You see, our daughter's been
living in Mexico for the past
ten years.
95
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:53,251
We've never seen our
grandchildren.
96
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:56,170
I can't wait to meet them.
97
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:57,922
I bet they can't wait to meet
you either.
98
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:00,341
Bye-bye,
99
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:01,843
Hello.
100
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:05,388
Wendel, this is so luxurious.
101
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:07,724
It must be costing a fortune.
102
00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,892
Wouldn't it be cheaper to fly?
103
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,436
Now, Ida, you know what the
doctor said.
104
00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:12,353
No flying for you.
105
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:13,354
But how can we afford it?
106
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,899
I knew there was something I
forgot to tell you.
107
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:17,942
I won the Irish Sweepstakes.
108
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:20,903
Isaac!
109
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:21,946
It's contribution time again.
110
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:23,531
I need your ten dollars for the
Crew Emergency Fund.
111
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:26,451
Catch me later.
112
00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:27,577
Isaac!
113
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,203
Listen, Gopher, I can't skip out
on you.
114
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,204
I'm not that good a swimmer...
115
00:05:32,915 --> 00:05:34,751
And by the way, how much money
you got in the box?
116
00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:35,626
Six hundred and thirty-five
dollars.
117
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:36,836
In that case, you give me ten
bucks, yeah
118
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,799
which you owe me, by the way,
from our last gin rummy game.
119
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:43,926
Catch me later.
120
00:05:45,511 --> 00:05:46,554
Excuse me.
121
00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:48,389
Did I hear you say you play gin
rummy?
122
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,725
Ah well, sir, some of us play,
and some of us win.
123
00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:51,517
I love gin.
124
00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:53,936
Maybe we'll get together later
on.
125
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:54,771
Well, that depends.
126
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:56,939
You a player or a winner?
127
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:57,732
Wendel, you're terrible at
cards.
128
00:05:59,233 --> 00:06:00,193
Well, what better place to
practice?
129
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:01,944
My place or yours?
130
00:06:04,697 --> 00:06:06,741
Now rest assured, Herb, we'll
take good care of your daughter.
131
00:06:06,824 --> 00:06:08,076
I appreciate it, Merrill, but
Sheila's different.
132
00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,577
Yeah, she...she's an
innocent...she's never
vacationed alone before.
133
00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,790
Now don't worry.
134
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,124
I've assigned Dr.Bricker here to
look after her.
135
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,375
You can count on me, Mr.
Lawrence.
136
00:06:17,168 --> 00:06:17,877
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
137
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:20,963
Please forgive me.
138
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,633
Sheila, darling...
139
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,759
Are you all right?
140
00:06:24,842 --> 00:06:25,384
You've got to watch yourself.
141
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:28,179
It was an accident, Daddy.
142
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,099
I think I could look after her.
143
00:06:33,017 --> 00:06:34,268
You didn't forget to tip the
cabby?
144
00:06:34,352 --> 00:06:35,603
And did you pack your vitamins?
145
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:36,938
And be careful of what you eat.
146
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:37,980
And don't drink the water.
147
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:38,856
Daddy!
148
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,149
I can take care of myself.
149
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:42,527
Tell him, Captain.
150
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:43,444
Yes...yes, of course.
151
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,822
Be careful of who you talk to.
152
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,657
There are a lot of weird guys on
a ship.
153
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:48,783
Daddy...
154
00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:49,826
You see, she doesn't date much.
155
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:50,660
Daddy, really.
156
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:52,870
Well, have a good time,
sweetheart.
157
00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:57,583
It'll be a slice of heaven.
158
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,086
All right, Herb.
159
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,087
Let's go.
160
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,630
Now come on, there's nothing to
worry about now.
161
00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:04,298
Dr.Bricker is the best man I
have.
162
00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:05,299
He'll treat her...treat your
daughter just like...
163
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:30,616
I don't mean to be forward, but
are you a professional model?
164
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,368
I used to be, but now I'm a
doctor.
165
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:05,651
I haven't seen you wear that
since our wedding, thirty-eight
years ago.
166
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,156
You don't think it's out of
style for a cruise, do you?
167
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,407
Not if the cruise is
thirty-eight years ago.
168
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:16,704
I guess you're right...You're
having a good time, aren't you?
169
00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,458
Oh, yes, Wendel.
170
00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:21,375
Thank you.
171
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,168
You deserve it, Ida.
172
00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,214
But, dear...how did you afford
all this?
173
00:08:26,297 --> 00:08:27,715
I told you not to worry about
it.
174
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:31,802
Well, I will worry about it,
unless I know.
175
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:42,521
Well, I...I took out a small
mortgage on the house.
176
00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,107
You took out a mortgage?
177
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,400
How will we pay it back?
178
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,111
Ida, I know where to get the
money.
179
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,446
But we only have our pension.
180
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:51,447
We could lose our home.
181
00:08:51,530 --> 00:08:53,324
Ida, haven't I always managed to
provide for us?
182
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:56,953
I know we haven't lived like
kings...
183
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:57,745
I'm sorry, Wendel.
184
00:08:58,913 --> 00:08:59,622
I trust you.
185
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:00,998
I know everything will be all
right.
186
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:04,502
Well then, give us a smile.
187
00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:09,465
You're here to enjoy yourself,
remember?....That's better.
188
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,262
Julie:Good afternoon, ladies and
gentlemen.
189
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,138
This is Julie McCoy, your Cruise
Director.
190
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:21,185
Our first session of Jackpot
Bingo will be starting in just
fifteen minutes in the Acapulco
Lounge.
191
00:09:22,687 --> 00:09:24,313
How 'bout that?
192
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:28,401
As I recall, you were always the
prettiest and the best bingo
player at every church social.
193
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,319
Were?
194
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,904
Well, you're still the
prettiest.
195
00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:34,991
And I'm still the best.
196
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:35,700
Then hop to it.
197
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:40,663
Aren't you coming with me?
198
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,666
I'm not as pretty as I used to
be.
199
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,710
And I want to see if I can
remember how to play gin rummy.
200
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:46,460
I'll see you later.
201
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:47,503
Okay.
202
00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:47,837
I love you.
203
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,380
I love you.
204
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:17,533
Nine of hearts...
205
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:22,955
..Jack of clubs.....
206
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,262
Ida, forgive me.
207
00:10:51,692 --> 00:10:52,735
Hello.
208
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:55,529
Mr.and Mrs.Watkins, I'd like you
to meet the Desmonds.
209
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:56,489
Hi.
210
00:10:59,033 --> 00:10:59,533
The Desmonds are newlyweds.
211
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:02,078
Never would have guessed.
212
00:11:02,161 --> 00:11:03,079
Enjoy your dinner.
213
00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:04,205
Thank you.
214
00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:04,747
Oh, hi...We're the Desmonds.
215
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:07,708
Oh...
216
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:08,292
Hi, fella.
217
00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,377
I'm Scott.
218
00:11:09,460 --> 00:11:10,586
And I'm Gladys Watkins and this
is my husband, Max.
219
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:12,338
Thank you, dear...
220
00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,050
When were you married?
221
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:16,634
This morning.
222
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:17,760
Oh...
223
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,053
And you're still talking to each
other.
224
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:21,889
We've been married twenty-five
years.
225
00:11:21,972 --> 00:11:23,557
Yeah, in some states you get
less for murder.
226
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,776
Now I suggest either the Polo
Ala Cacciatore Confungi, or a
nice New England Boiled Dinner.
227
00:11:36,153 --> 00:11:36,946
Both very good.
228
00:11:37,029 --> 00:11:37,697
It looks sort of fascinating.
229
00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:39,824
Oh...Sir...
230
00:11:39,907 --> 00:11:40,866
Yes?
231
00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:42,201
Um...I'd like you to meet Mr.and
Mrs. Wendel Snead.
232
00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:44,036
This is Captain Stubing.
233
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:44,912
How do you do?
234
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:45,788
How do you do?
235
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:46,705
Hello.
236
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,416
May I compliment you on your
wonderful crew?
237
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:50,793
Why, thank you.
238
00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,628
I must say, Miss McCoy calls a
mean game of bingo.
239
00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,091
And Gopher's a mighty mean gin
rummy player.
240
00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:58,926
He took me for a dollar
twenty-seven this afternoon.
241
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,970
I hope you let me get even with
you tonight.
242
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:03,097
Ah...warn you, I hear that
Gopher is a pretty good player.
243
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:08,853
You know....I might just get
lucky myself.
244
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:22,241
Sheila...you're looking for
trouble.
245
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:24,785
Really, Doctor, I can take care
of myself.
246
00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:32,710
As long as neatness doesn't
count.
247
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,172
Let me lay it out for you.
248
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,883
That guy at that table is
nothing but a cruise ship
cowboy,
249
00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:40,426
looking to add another notch to
his life preserver.
250
00:12:41,677 --> 00:12:43,179
He only wants one thing from
you.
251
00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:46,348
He'll take your heart and rip it
apart.
252
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,185
And then he'll stomp on it and
squish it and turn it into
hamburger meat.
253
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,437
And then he'll leave you on the
dock crying for your mother.
254
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:53,689
..and then you know what he'll
do?
255
00:12:53,772 --> 00:12:55,399
He'll just go off and look for
somebody else.
256
00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:56,692
Do you think you could introduce
me?
257
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:04,033
Good evening, Miss Lawrence.
258
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:04,867
You okay?
259
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:06,368
Would you like something?
260
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,161
Well...
261
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,372
Ah, Captain...may I have a word
with you?
262
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,207
Certainly.
263
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:13,709
Excuse me.
264
00:13:13,792 --> 00:13:13,959
Excuse me.
265
00:13:20,257 --> 00:13:20,674
Hello again.
266
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,178
Captain, I have a horrible
confession to make.
267
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:24,970
I'm a lousy chaperone.
268
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:28,641
Maybe a little practice will
help.
269
00:13:32,811 --> 00:13:33,562
Oh, no...
270
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,944
I'm not trying to pick you
up....I think I'm in love with
you.
271
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,571
That's not love.
272
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,113
Those are hunger pangs.
273
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:45,032
Go eat your dinner.
274
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:11,725
Isn't it beautiful?
275
00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:12,851
So calm, yet dark and
mysterious.
276
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,606
I just love the sea at night.
277
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:18,524
Why?
278
00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:19,316
You can't see anything.
279
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,530
Doesn't it make you feel
insignificant?
280
00:14:26,031 --> 00:14:26,949
The enormity of it all.
281
00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:29,618
I can't see it.
282
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,665
Please make a note to send the
champagne and fruit to the
Promenade Deck.
283
00:14:35,874 --> 00:14:36,458
Ah, pardon me....
284
00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,626
Yes?
285
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,421
I hate to be a bother, but is
there a doctor on the ship?
286
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:41,297
Well, yes, of course.
287
00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,131
What's the problem?
288
00:14:42,214 --> 00:14:42,840
A stomach ache.
289
00:14:42,923 --> 00:14:44,341
Must have been something I ate.
290
00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:45,259
Oh.
291
00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:46,135
Probably at home.
292
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:46,969
Not here.
293
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:47,845
Here the food's delicious.
294
00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:49,346
Well, I tell you what.
295
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,516
Why don't you go to your cabin
and lie down, and I'll send the
doctor to you.
296
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,434
Thank you.
297
00:14:53,517 --> 00:14:54,310
Excuse me.
298
00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:55,144
Your cabin number.
299
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:55,978
Oh, Aloha three-five-eight.
300
00:14:58,731 --> 00:14:59,481
Got it.
301
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:00,190
Thanks.
302
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,400
A grown woman with a chaperone.
303
00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:03,986
It's ridiculous.
304
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,070
Well, it could have been worse.
305
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:08,449
How?
306
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:10,451
Thank you.
307
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:12,494
Oh, Doc.
308
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:13,329
Hi, Sheila.
309
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:14,455
Hi.
310
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:15,873
I should have known I'd find you
two in the moonlight.
311
00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,628
Doc, there is a fellow in Aloha
three-fifty-eight with a stomach
ache.
312
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:23,714
Okay?
313
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:26,467
Sorry.
314
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:27,259
I gotta play doctor.
315
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:28,344
Come on.
316
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:30,179
I'll take you to your cabin.
317
00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,764
I think I'll just stay here a
little while.
318
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:32,848
I won't be long.
319
00:15:32,931 --> 00:15:33,641
Enjoy the moonlight without me.
320
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:48,989
I love the..
321
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,534
I love the way your moon re...
322
00:15:55,454 --> 00:16:01,335
I love the way your eyes reflect
the shimmering moonlight on the
rippling water.
323
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,045
Oh, Howard.
324
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:10,219
Just a minute.
325
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:13,972
Yeah?
326
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:15,474
Hi, I'm Doctor Bricker.
327
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,106
How're you doing?
328
00:16:22,189 --> 00:16:22,856
Fine, thanks.
329
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,193
Can I help?
330
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:27,277
No.
331
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:29,405
I seem to be doin' just great by
myself.
332
00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:31,615
But if I run into anything that
I can't handle, I'll be sure to
give you a call.
333
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,333
My words are merely the thumping
of my heart put into language.
334
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,628
Oh, Howard, you have the most
romantic way of speaking.
335
00:16:55,013 --> 00:16:55,472
See you tomorrow.
336
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:03,480
Did the moonlight suffer without
me?
337
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:07,484
It's the best moonlight I've
ever seen.
338
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,418
Oh...oh...wow...
339
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:28,422
Like it?
340
00:17:28,505 --> 00:17:29,298
Like it?
341
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:30,132
I love it.
342
00:17:30,215 --> 00:17:30,966
Take it off....
343
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,308
Well, what do you say we get
some sleep?
344
00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:40,309
I want to get up early.
345
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,186
I hear there's a shuffleboard
contest tomorrow.
346
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,104
Oh, golly, we don't want to miss
that.
347
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:47,691
Oh, darling......we're so lucky
to have each other.
348
00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:52,488
Yeah.
349
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:54,323
Not like that couple in the
dining room.
350
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:58,535
I mean here we are in each
other's arms and...right now
they're probably at each other's
throats.
351
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,329
Well, let's not think about them
and their silly fighting.
352
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:03,791
I have other things on my mind.
353
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:06,668
I do, too.
354
00:18:16,762 --> 00:18:18,680
But you know, she sort of does
have a point.
355
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:21,850
What're you talkin' about?
356
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,812
She's the one who dragged him on
a ship he didn't want to be on.
357
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:26,563
Well, then he should've been
more involved in the planning.
358
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,483
Like you were involved in our
honeymoon.
359
00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:32,528
What're you talkin' about?
360
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,030
I asked you if you wanted to go
to Aspen, Hawaii or Miami.
361
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,073
You said let's take a cruise.
362
00:18:44,164 --> 00:18:44,873
Are you sorry you're here?
363
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:47,668
I...I didn't say that.
364
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,045
Well then exactly what did you
say?
365
00:18:50,128 --> 00:18:51,088
Well...I don't know what I said.
366
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,678
Well, then it must not have been
very important, or you wouldn't
have forgotten it.
367
00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:58,679
Can you recite the Gettysburg
Address?
368
00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:01,557
What?
369
00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:02,766
Uh-huh...That's important, and
you forgot it.
370
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,398
I married a crazy person.
371
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:21,118
Well, Gopher, it looks like
three hundred and twenty-one
dollars you owe me.
372
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:24,663
Three hundred and twenty-one
dollars?
373
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:27,416
I guess my luck's improving.
374
00:19:30,127 --> 00:19:30,752
There you are, Wendel.
375
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:31,920
Still playing gin at this hour?
376
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:34,882
I'm getting to like it.
377
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:37,092
Well, I'm off to bed, and you
should be too.
378
00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:38,427
And look at Gopher, he's
exhausted.
379
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:39,720
I think that's enough gin for
one night.
380
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,850
I'll be with you as soon as I
collect my winnings.
381
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:47,352
Gopher, pay him the five
dollars, and then he'll let you
go to bed.
382
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:55,444
Mr.Snead, I don't think I have
three hundred and twenty-one
dollars in my checking account.
383
00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:56,236
That's cash, Gopher.
384
00:19:58,322 --> 00:19:59,323
Cash?
385
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:01,158
After all, I paid you cash when
I lost.
386
00:20:01,241 --> 00:20:02,784
You don't have to pay me right
away.
387
00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:03,619
Thank you.
388
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:04,453
By noon tomorrow's fine.
389
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:08,707
Noon tomorrow?
390
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:10,792
Three hundred and twenty-one
dollars.
391
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,047
Sure do know how to keep the
passengers happy.
392
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,091
Let's see...three hundred and
forty-two....No, three
twenty-one.
393
00:20:23,722 --> 00:20:24,681
That's what it comes out to
....Three-two-one.
394
00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:26,975
That's right.
395
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:27,809
Hi, Gopher.
396
00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:30,520
Mr. Snead.
397
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,147
You want a nightcap before I
close up?
398
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:32,981
Thanks, Isaac.
399
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:33,899
I'll have a gin.
400
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,318
Ah, gin's your drink, and gin's
your game.
401
00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:37,194
Huh?
402
00:20:37,277 --> 00:20:38,028
Care to join me?
403
00:20:40,238 --> 00:20:40,948
In which one?
404
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:42,199
Both, if you like.
405
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:44,576
You're on.
406
00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:05,889
Passengers who wish to take a
land tour when we reach Cabo San
Lucas,
407
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:07,975
please report to the Purser's
Office.
408
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:10,102
Thank you.
409
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:12,104
If we were in Rome now, you'd be
looking at the Coliseum.
410
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:13,855
Aren't these sights better?
411
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,359
Would you be happier, Gladys, if
I closed my eyes?
412
00:21:18,568 --> 00:21:19,236
I'd settle for your mouth.
413
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:22,990
Julie!
414
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:23,657
Yeah?
415
00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:24,449
Ah, look, I gotta find Gopher.
416
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:24,866
Have you seen him?
417
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:25,617
No.
418
00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:26,326
Oh.
419
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:27,995
Can I help you?
420
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:30,247
No, but if you see Gopher, tell
him I gotta talk to him.
421
00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:33,375
Okay....Oh, hi, Doc.
422
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:34,209
Hi, Sheila.
423
00:21:38,630 --> 00:21:39,423
Hello, Mr.Snead.
424
00:21:39,506 --> 00:21:40,340
Oh, hi.
425
00:21:40,424 --> 00:21:41,466
Where's Ida?
426
00:21:41,550 --> 00:21:42,801
She's having a little rest.
427
00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:44,553
She's played so much bingo,
she's seeing numbers before her
eyes.
428
00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:47,014
Mmm...How 'bout a little
company?
429
00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:48,056
I'll play you crazy eights.
430
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:49,391
I don't know how to play that.
431
00:21:49,474 --> 00:21:50,225
Gin?
432
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:54,062
You twisted my arm.
433
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:54,855
Oh, good.
434
00:21:56,606 --> 00:21:59,735
You know, I can't get over how
silly we were last night.
435
00:21:59,818 --> 00:22:01,069
You know, you're really good at
fighting.
436
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,195
You're really good at making up.
437
00:22:02,279 --> 00:22:02,988
Ahh...
438
00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:08,994
Uh-oh, look who's here.
439
00:22:09,703 --> 00:22:10,454
Punch and Judy...
440
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:13,790
Hi.
441
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:16,710
Hi.
442
00:22:16,793 --> 00:22:17,586
Hi.
443
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:18,420
Hey.
444
00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:19,296
Enjoying your cruise?
445
00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:20,547
Oh, yes.
446
00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:22,716
I'd rather be in Rome, but
thanks to my travel agent
here...
447
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:27,220
You're not gonna start that
again, are you, Max?
448
00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:29,264
Hey...hey...we don't always get
what we want out of life.
449
00:22:29,347 --> 00:22:31,308
I mean...Ellen and
I discussed our trip like two
rational people,
450
00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:35,479
and it so happened that this
time we got to do what she
451
00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:36,396
wanted to do.
452
00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:37,481
What I wanted?
453
00:22:37,564 --> 00:22:39,941
Well, I mean what we both
wanted.
454
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:43,278
I mean, if it were up to me, I
probably would have gone to
Aspen, but what the heck.
455
00:22:43,361 --> 00:22:44,404
I'm making the best of it.
456
00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:45,739
Making the best of it?
457
00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:46,490
Ah...honey...you're getting me
all wrong.
458
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:48,909
I'm getting you right.
459
00:22:48,992 --> 00:22:50,911
The next time you go on a
honeymoon, you make the plans.
460
00:22:56,875 --> 00:22:59,795
You know, I bet you don't win an
argument till you've been
married at least ten years.
461
00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:06,176
You know, you're a regular Henry
Kissinger.
462
00:23:08,261 --> 00:23:10,514
Gladys, they have to find out
what marriage is all about.
463
00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:11,556
Fighting isn't what it's all
about.
464
00:23:12,933 --> 00:23:14,142
We have plenty of good times,
don't we?
465
00:23:14,935 --> 00:23:15,769
Name one.
466
00:23:15,852 --> 00:23:16,770
Oh, Max, I'm being serious.
467
00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:19,815
So am I.
468
00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,066
Come on, Gladys...good times,
bad times.
469
00:23:23,026 --> 00:23:23,985
Who cares?
470
00:23:24,069 --> 00:23:25,320
It's all about being
together...and that's all good.
471
00:23:27,697 --> 00:23:28,615
Ah, Max, I do love you.
472
00:23:30,575 --> 00:23:31,535
Mmm...try to tell them that.
473
00:23:32,702 --> 00:23:33,411
Maybe I will.
474
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:35,831
Gladys....!
475
00:23:38,583 --> 00:23:39,626
Maybe you should wear a hat.
476
00:23:39,709 --> 00:23:40,627
This Mexican sun strikes fast.
477
00:23:41,753 --> 00:23:42,504
Doctor please...
478
00:23:48,051 --> 00:23:49,803
You sure you don't want to take
a swim?
479
00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:50,679
No, thanks.
480
00:23:50,762 --> 00:23:51,680
I don't like to swim.
481
00:24:00,897 --> 00:24:02,065
I think I'll take a swim.
482
00:24:12,784 --> 00:24:13,535
Hi.
483
00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:14,369
Hi.
484
00:24:15,579 --> 00:24:17,122
How are you?
485
00:24:17,205 --> 00:24:24,129
Fine...You'd better talk fast,
because my Secret Service Man
will be here any second.
486
00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:29,050
Okay, Flipper, move it or lose
it..
487
00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:41,730
Here.
488
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:42,647
Don't catch cold.
489
00:24:43,857 --> 00:24:45,066
I didn't know he would be there.
490
00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:54,117
On you, droplets of water seem
to be diamonds.
491
00:24:56,369 --> 00:24:57,120
Hi, Isaac.
492
00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:00,916
How bout a drink doc?
493
00:25:00,999 --> 00:25:02,542
No, thanks, but it's nice of you
to offer.
494
00:25:02,626 --> 00:25:03,585
Sure.
495
00:25:03,668 --> 00:25:04,044
What would you like?
496
00:25:04,127 --> 00:25:04,920
A piña collada.
497
00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:06,963
Coming up.
498
00:25:18,183 --> 00:25:22,062
On you, droplets of water appear
to be diamonds.
499
00:25:23,521 --> 00:25:24,231
Oh, Howard.
500
00:25:51,299 --> 00:25:51,633
For you.
501
00:25:53,051 --> 00:25:54,344
I don't want your presents.
502
00:25:55,845 --> 00:25:57,973
This is a peace offering.
503
00:25:58,056 --> 00:26:00,976
Take it or I'll wrap it around
your neck!
504
00:26:01,059 --> 00:26:03,144
I'll take it when you admit you
were wrong.
505
00:26:03,228 --> 00:26:04,479
Okay, I was wrong.
506
00:26:04,562 --> 00:26:07,649
I was wrong to tell the truth
and admit I would rather be in
Aspen.
507
00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:08,441
Oh....You can keep your
turkey...turkey.
508
00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:14,489
Kids....Oh, kids...please don't
let this happen.
509
00:26:14,572 --> 00:26:16,700
You're beginning to sound just
like Max and me.
510
00:26:16,783 --> 00:26:18,827
Gladys, this isn't your fight.
511
00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:20,453
Oh, yes it is.
512
00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:21,955
It is exactly our style...The
stubbornness, the pettiness,
513
00:26:23,915 --> 00:26:25,250
and the stupid pig-headedness..
514
00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:30,297
Look I just wanted you to know
that we're not always like that.
515
00:26:30,380 --> 00:26:32,966
Sometimes we're very loving and
close.
516
00:26:33,049 --> 00:26:37,178
Gladys, don't mix in.
517
00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:40,223
Look, it's just that sometimes
it seems that fighting is the
only way that we can
communicate.
518
00:26:42,434 --> 00:26:44,686
And I'm so sorry that we did it
in front of you.
519
00:26:44,769 --> 00:26:45,437
Gladys, don't apologize for us.
520
00:26:50,275 --> 00:26:51,735
Well, it looks like you're
communicating right now.
521
00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:55,363
More than I could say for you.
522
00:26:57,574 --> 00:26:58,742
How about this for
communication...take a hike!
523
00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:02,871
I got you the wrong animal.
524
00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:04,164
I should have bought you a mule!
525
00:27:14,632 --> 00:27:16,092
Now you see what you've done.
526
00:27:16,176 --> 00:27:18,887
Busy messing up their lives when
you should have been with me at
the skeet shoot.
527
00:27:20,138 --> 00:27:20,847
Oh, shoot this!
528
00:27:26,519 --> 00:27:28,146
P.A: Good morning.
529
00:27:28,229 --> 00:27:30,357
The twelve o'clock luncheon
seating will begin in half an
hour in the Coral Dining Room.
530
00:27:32,317 --> 00:27:33,068
Bon appetit.....
531
00:27:41,826 --> 00:27:42,744
Ah, Gopher, it's me, Isaac.
532
00:27:43,536 --> 00:27:44,371
Open up.
533
00:27:44,454 --> 00:27:45,246
Oh...Isaac, listen...
534
00:27:45,330 --> 00:27:46,039
I'm...I'm not decent.
535
00:27:46,122 --> 00:27:47,123
Listen, I'll settle for half
decent.
536
00:27:48,833 --> 00:27:50,085
Ah, come back later, will ya?
537
00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:51,378
Listen, Gopher, I gotta talk to
you.
538
00:27:52,879 --> 00:27:54,172
It's a matter of life and death.
539
00:27:55,131 --> 00:27:57,926
All right.Just a minute.Hang on.
540
00:27:58,009 --> 00:28:00,595
Listen, Gopher, I'm in a jam and
you're the only one that can
help me out.
541
00:28:00,678 --> 00:28:01,429
I understand.
542
00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:02,555
We'll get together sometime next
week.
543
00:28:02,639 --> 00:28:04,099
Listen, this is important.
544
00:28:04,182 --> 00:28:05,683
Now you've got the Emergency
Fund, right?
545
00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:07,477
How did you know I have the
Emergency Fund?
546
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,104
You're in charge of the
Emergency Fund.
547
00:28:09,187 --> 00:28:10,647
Now I need to make a loan, and I
need to make it now.
548
00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:12,982
Oh...you need to make a loan.
549
00:28:13,066 --> 00:28:13,900
Ah-huh.
550
00:28:13,983 --> 00:28:14,776
Oh...well...
551
00:28:14,859 --> 00:28:15,568
Yeah.
552
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:18,571
What's that lamp doing there?
553
00:28:18,655 --> 00:28:19,322
I was reading in bed.
554
00:28:20,990 --> 00:28:21,699
Gopher, this is serious.
555
00:28:22,992 --> 00:28:24,619
Now I owe Mr.Snead a lot of
money.
556
00:28:24,702 --> 00:28:25,412
Oh, Mr.Snead....
557
00:28:27,997 --> 00:28:29,499
Yeah.
558
00:28:29,582 --> 00:28:32,335
After you left the bar last
night...well, we kinda got into
a little game of gin.
559
00:28:32,419 --> 00:28:34,129
There's one born every
minute...Actually, there's two
born every minute.
560
00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,095
How much did you lose?
561
00:28:44,764 --> 00:28:45,473
Three hundred and twenty-one
dollars.
562
00:28:46,850 --> 00:28:47,517
Boy, do you play rotten.
563
00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:50,228
I only lost a hundred and
forty-nine.
564
00:28:52,856 --> 00:28:55,984
Oh, boy, I'll bet...I'll bet you
that's Snead, and I'll bet you
he wants his money.
565
00:28:56,067 --> 00:28:56,651
So how do you know that?
566
00:28:56,734 --> 00:28:57,360
You haven't even answered it.
567
00:28:58,194 --> 00:28:59,154
It might be the Captain.
568
00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:00,780
By the way, it is not good news.
569
00:29:00,864 --> 00:29:01,573
Listen, answer it.
570
00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:08,288
Yeoman Purser Smith....Yeah,
Julie?
571
00:29:11,749 --> 00:29:12,500
Oh, you're kidding?
572
00:29:14,377 --> 00:29:15,086
Oh, no...Oh, Julie.
573
00:29:19,090 --> 00:29:20,258
Julie, how could you let,
574
00:29:20,341 --> 00:29:21,259
Mr. Snead do that to you?
575
00:29:22,927 --> 00:29:23,678
How much did she lose?
576
00:29:23,761 --> 00:29:24,471
Sixty-seven dollars.
577
00:29:26,598 --> 00:29:27,390
Hm.
578
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:28,641
After Snead she's the next
biggest winner.
579
00:29:29,976 --> 00:29:31,019
No, Julie, just relax.
580
00:29:31,102 --> 00:29:32,312
No, no, no...No, I'll think of
something.
581
00:29:33,938 --> 00:29:35,023
Sure.
582
00:29:35,106 --> 00:29:40,737
Okay, keep in touch......Oh...
583
00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:42,197
Hi, guys.
584
00:29:43,781 --> 00:29:44,991
Let me try that again....Hi,
guys.
585
00:29:49,037 --> 00:29:50,038
That was my best shot.
586
00:29:50,121 --> 00:29:51,039
Doc, we've got a problem here.
587
00:29:52,081 --> 00:29:53,166
I almost had a problem.
588
00:29:53,249 --> 00:29:55,084
A kindly old gentleman almost
suckered me into a gin game.
589
00:29:57,629 --> 00:29:58,880
You didn't play with him, did
you?
590
00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:00,006
Are you crazy?
591
00:30:00,089 --> 00:30:02,091
He was working with a marked
deck.
592
00:30:02,175 --> 00:30:03,968
How do you know it was a marked
deck?
593
00:30:04,052 --> 00:30:05,053
Elementary.
594
00:30:05,136 --> 00:30:07,847
I have the hands of a surgeon.
595
00:30:07,931 --> 00:30:09,849
The eyes of an eagle...and an
ex-wife who's a dealer in Vegas.
596
00:30:25,114 --> 00:30:25,907
Okay, we all set?
597
00:30:25,990 --> 00:30:26,324
Hm-hm.
598
00:30:26,407 --> 00:30:26,824
Yeah.
599
00:30:26,908 --> 00:30:27,742
Where's Mrs. Snead?
600
00:30:27,825 --> 00:30:28,910
In the beauty parlor.
601
00:30:28,993 --> 00:30:29,994
And Julie's keeping the Captain
busy.
602
00:30:30,078 --> 00:30:31,120
Yeah.
603
00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:32,872
Yeah, but Julie felt kind of bad
about cheating Mr.Snead.
604
00:30:33,831 --> 00:30:35,416
He cheated us.
605
00:30:35,500 --> 00:30:36,709
Look, you gotta fight fire with
fire.
606
00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:38,253
She felt bad.
607
00:30:38,336 --> 00:30:39,128
I don't.
608
00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:40,463
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
609
00:30:40,547 --> 00:30:41,381
Maybe Julie's right.
610
00:30:41,464 --> 00:30:42,423
It's only money.
611
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,592
I mean, among the three of you,
how much you out?
612
00:30:44,676 --> 00:30:45,635
Five hundred and thirty-seven
dollars.
613
00:30:45,718 --> 00:30:46,469
Over the top!
614
00:31:00,900 --> 00:31:01,734
Twelve o'clock.
615
00:31:01,818 --> 00:31:02,527
Right on the button.
616
00:31:06,030 --> 00:31:06,531
Did you bring the.....?
617
00:31:08,157 --> 00:31:09,158
Here it is.
618
00:31:09,242 --> 00:31:10,493
You can count it, if you'd like.
619
00:31:10,577 --> 00:31:12,495
Oh, no...count it.
620
00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:13,538
Mr.Snead, I took that money from
the ship's Emergency Fund.
621
00:31:13,621 --> 00:31:15,456
I sure would like a chance to
win some of it back.
622
00:31:15,540 --> 00:31:16,499
No, Gopher.
623
00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:18,960
I don't want you to get in any
deeper than you are.
624
00:31:19,043 --> 00:31:20,545
Well, what makes you so sure
that you're going to win?
625
00:31:22,171 --> 00:31:23,089
Uh...well, who said I was sure?
626
00:31:26,175 --> 00:31:27,343
Then let's see what the cards
say.
627
00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:34,851
What are you doing?
628
00:31:34,934 --> 00:31:35,643
Ah...Captain...he's got eyes
everywhere...
629
00:31:39,397 --> 00:31:40,106
Oh, I'll sit there.
630
00:31:40,189 --> 00:31:41,482
The couch is much more
comfortable.
631
00:31:49,032 --> 00:31:49,741
All right.
632
00:32:31,949 --> 00:32:33,701
He's collecting fours and clubs.
633
00:32:38,748 --> 00:32:41,709
Lunch is now being served in the
Coral Dining Room.
634
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:45,588
Our special today is Number Four
...club sandwich.
635
00:32:47,757 --> 00:32:50,885
May we also recommend our
chicken ala King.
636
00:32:50,968 --> 00:32:52,637
Our chefs really put their
hearts into this one.
637
00:33:06,317 --> 00:33:07,902
McCoy...
638
00:33:07,985 --> 00:33:11,364
Captain Stubing...Sir, I'd like
to go over some of the details
for the party tonight.
639
00:33:11,447 --> 00:33:13,199
Yeah, well, I was just going in
to lunch.
640
00:33:13,282 --> 00:33:14,450
That chicken ala king sounds
good.
641
00:33:14,534 --> 00:33:16,869
Yeah, I understand, sir, but
I've just a few of these
details...
642
00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:17,912
Later, Miss McCoy.
643
00:33:17,995 --> 00:33:20,081
I don't want them to run out of
chicken ala king.
644
00:33:20,164 --> 00:33:22,125
Yeah...Captain!....Captain, sir,
I really do have to talk to you.
645
00:33:22,208 --> 00:33:22,709
Miss McCoy, I'm starved.
646
00:33:26,129 --> 00:33:28,089
See me after lunch.
647
00:33:28,172 --> 00:33:30,216
There'll be a full dress party
on the Lido Deck tonight.
648
00:33:30,299 --> 00:33:31,008
Isn't that Isaac?
649
00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:33,386
Yes, sir.
650
00:33:33,469 --> 00:33:34,929
He's terrific, isn't he?
651
00:33:35,012 --> 00:33:37,807
Yes, ladies, you can wear your
diamonds, so discard any other
plans you may have.
652
00:33:43,312 --> 00:33:44,230
Overdoing it a bit, I'd say.
653
00:33:50,570 --> 00:33:52,029
Snead needs a nine of spades to
make gin.
654
00:33:56,659 --> 00:33:57,827
Our Foreign Film festival
continues this afternoon with,
655
00:33:59,829 --> 00:34:00,747
"Nein, Mein Leibchen" starring
Hildegard Spaderhoff.
656
00:34:09,547 --> 00:34:10,298
Coming.
657
00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:18,806
Oh, hi, Sheila.
658
00:34:19,932 --> 00:34:20,975
Hi, Doc.
659
00:34:21,058 --> 00:34:21,809
Doc isn't here.
660
00:34:21,893 --> 00:34:23,394
I haven't seen him for the past
hour.
661
00:34:24,645 --> 00:34:25,855
He must be making house calls.
662
00:34:25,938 --> 00:34:28,566
Uh...uh...come in.....
663
00:34:43,873 --> 00:34:45,541
If I'd gone without seeing you
for another five minutes
664
00:34:48,377 --> 00:34:50,963
I wouldn't have been responsible
for my actions.
665
00:34:51,047 --> 00:34:53,800
Oh...Howard, you always have the
perfect thing to say right on
the tip of your tongue.
666
00:34:57,261 --> 00:34:58,679
This is Isaac, your bartender
saying...run one-two-three,
667
00:35:00,598 --> 00:35:06,395
to the Starlight Lounge where
we're serving martinis that are
nearly all gin.
668
00:35:08,314 --> 00:35:08,689
Gin?
669
00:35:12,443 --> 00:35:12,735
Nearly all gin?
670
00:35:15,655 --> 00:35:16,697
Now he's doing plugs for his
martinis.
671
00:35:21,786 --> 00:35:22,995
Baby, this isn't just one of
those things.
672
00:35:24,413 --> 00:35:25,331
This is a for real relationship.
673
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:28,125
Oh, Howard, you make me so
happy.
674
00:35:29,877 --> 00:35:31,587
I can't wait till you meet my
father.
675
00:35:31,671 --> 00:35:33,631
He was afraid I'd meet one of
those phonies on board...
676
00:35:35,091 --> 00:35:36,008
Someone who'd take advantage of
me.
677
00:35:37,468 --> 00:35:38,177
But you....Oh....Oh, Howard..
678
00:35:48,938 --> 00:35:49,647
What's the book?
679
00:35:50,398 --> 00:35:51,399
Book?
680
00:35:51,482 --> 00:35:52,275
Is that a book?
681
00:35:52,358 --> 00:35:53,401
"No girl can resist this line.
682
00:35:55,778 --> 00:36:00,199
"Baby, this isn't just one of
those things, this is a for real
relationship."
683
00:36:00,283 --> 00:36:01,701
Ah, Sheila....No.
684
00:36:01,784 --> 00:36:02,743
"How To Hit On Girls"
685
00:36:02,827 --> 00:36:03,578
Oh, please, I...
686
00:36:05,538 --> 00:36:06,247
"How To Hit On Girls!...."
687
00:36:07,999 --> 00:36:08,749
Please...
688
00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:10,084
How 'bout How To Hit On Boys.
689
00:36:10,167 --> 00:36:10,960
No....Oh, no....
690
00:36:11,043 --> 00:36:14,505
How 'bout How To Hit On Boys.
691
00:36:21,762 --> 00:36:23,764
Good afternoon, this is the
officer of the watch.
692
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:27,894
If you look off the port side,
you can see a rather large
school of dolphins.
693
00:36:35,735 --> 00:36:37,153
But, Captain, he's a crook.
694
00:36:37,236 --> 00:36:39,113
That doesn't explain your
behavior.
695
00:36:39,196 --> 00:36:41,949
But, Captain, listen, we were
only trying to beat him at his
own game.
696
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:45,620
If he were a nudist, would you
run around naked?
697
00:36:45,703 --> 00:36:50,166
Come in.
698
00:36:50,249 --> 00:36:53,628
Captain Stubing, sir!
699
00:36:53,711 --> 00:36:56,797
Mr.Snead....I owe you an
apology.
700
00:36:56,881 --> 00:37:01,594
They owe you an apology.
701
00:37:01,677 --> 00:37:05,306
My crew has been cheating you at
cards.
702
00:37:08,559 --> 00:37:09,810
I thought I was just unlucky.
703
00:37:09,894 --> 00:37:13,522
I assure you, they will be dealt
with.
704
00:37:13,606 --> 00:37:14,440
Dealt with?
705
00:37:14,523 --> 00:37:15,316
How?
706
00:37:15,399 --> 00:37:17,360
They'll be dismissed.
707
00:37:22,573 --> 00:37:23,616
They're gonna lose their jobs?
708
00:37:23,699 --> 00:37:26,494
That's what it means.
709
00:37:26,577 --> 00:37:27,828
No, Captain.
710
00:37:27,912 --> 00:37:29,997
That' wouldn't be fair.
711
00:37:30,081 --> 00:37:32,375
I was cheating them, too.
712
00:37:39,590 --> 00:37:43,427
Mr.Snead...you should be
ashamed.
713
00:37:43,511 --> 00:37:44,512
I am ashamed.
714
00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:48,683
I only did it because I
desperately needed the money.
715
00:37:48,766 --> 00:37:51,852
I mortgaged our house to pay for
this cruise.
716
00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:55,898
Ida wanted so much to see her
grandchildren.
717
00:37:55,982 --> 00:37:59,277
I have no way to pay that money
back...Oh, my God.
718
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:04,407
This is gonna kill Ida.
719
00:38:24,635 --> 00:38:28,222
Sir, we have got our money back.
720
00:38:28,306 --> 00:38:30,641
Yes, Captain, don't you
think....
721
00:38:34,854 --> 00:38:41,068
Mr. Snead....It looks to me like
things are just about even.
722
00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:44,530
Let's consider this matter
closed.
723
00:39:10,806 --> 00:39:12,767
Listen, Sheila, I have to get
this off my chest.
724
00:39:12,850 --> 00:39:15,561
This whole thing is Bernie's
fault.
725
00:39:20,816 --> 00:39:22,735
See what I saved you from?
726
00:39:22,818 --> 00:39:25,780
Now he's talking to himself.
727
00:39:25,863 --> 00:39:30,201
He's probably the only one he
could find who'd listen.
728
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:38,167
Mind if I sit down?
729
00:39:38,250 --> 00:39:40,461
Oh, no, please do.
730
00:39:41,420 --> 00:39:42,254
Where's your husband?
731
00:39:42,338 --> 00:39:44,340
Who cares?
732
00:39:48,344 --> 00:39:50,346
Bourbon on the rocks, please.
733
00:39:50,429 --> 00:39:51,263
Comin' up.
734
00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:54,016
Well, it's you.
735
00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:54,517
Great.
736
00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:56,352
Just what I needed.
737
00:39:56,435 --> 00:39:57,478
Hey, I was here first,
troublemaker.
738
00:39:57,561 --> 00:39:59,146
Troublemaker?
739
00:39:59,230 --> 00:39:59,980
Me?
740
00:40:00,064 --> 00:40:00,981
That's right.
741
00:40:01,065 --> 00:40:02,983
Because of you, my wife isn't
speaking to me.
742
00:40:03,067 --> 00:40:06,612
Well, my wife isn't speaking to
me either, and I'm on my
honeymoon.
743
00:40:06,695 --> 00:40:10,157
What do you want me to do, ask
you to dance?
744
00:40:10,241 --> 00:40:11,200
Here we are, folks.
745
00:40:11,283 --> 00:40:15,913
This is our Lido Deck and the
swimming pool is real.
746
00:40:17,915 --> 00:40:19,667
Oh, hello!
747
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:20,835
Hi.
748
00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:22,169
Julie, Gopher...
749
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,755
Mr.Snead wanted you to meet the
family, especially the
grandchildren.
750
00:40:24,839 --> 00:40:26,173
Hi.
751
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:29,343
And this is Sarah, and Bill, my
daughter Anita, and her husband
Frank.
752
00:40:29,426 --> 00:40:30,386
Well, how do you do?
753
00:40:30,469 --> 00:40:31,762
Mucho gusto.
754
00:40:31,846 --> 00:40:34,140
Now, Julie, don't forget you
promised to show them all over
the ship.
755
00:40:34,223 --> 00:40:35,057
It'll be my pleasure.
756
00:40:35,141 --> 00:40:38,352
And then we'll come back and
join the party.
757
00:40:38,435 --> 00:40:40,521
How 'bout if I show you the
Captain's quarters?
758
00:40:40,604 --> 00:40:41,105
Great.
759
00:40:41,188 --> 00:40:41,814
We'll go up to the bridge.
760
00:40:41,897 --> 00:40:42,815
He won't even know we're there.
761
00:40:42,898 --> 00:40:44,859
Come on.
762
00:41:02,126 --> 00:41:03,878
I don't understand it.
763
00:41:03,961 --> 00:41:08,716
Before we were married, Scott
and I never fought.
764
00:41:08,799 --> 00:41:12,720
I remember once Max and I didn't
have a single argument for six
whole weeks.
765
00:41:13,971 --> 00:41:16,390
His jaw was broken.
766
00:41:18,642 --> 00:41:20,102
Sheila, I have to get this off
my chest.
767
00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,020
It's all Bernie's fault.
768
00:41:21,103 --> 00:41:24,940
See he gave me....
769
00:41:52,176 --> 00:41:56,013
Gentlemen, I spend a lot of time
over the years dispensing
advice.
770
00:41:58,265 --> 00:41:59,600
You want to know what I think?
771
00:41:59,683 --> 00:42:00,476
I don't.
772
00:42:00,559 --> 00:42:02,144
I don't.
773
00:42:05,356 --> 00:42:07,983
Listen to me, kid...Play hard to
get.
774
00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:09,235
She'll come around.
775
00:42:09,318 --> 00:42:13,280
You gotta keep women under your
thumb, or you'll lose control.
776
00:42:13,364 --> 00:42:14,615
Well, I got a better idea, Max.
777
00:42:14,698 --> 00:42:17,618
I'm gonna tell her I'm sorry.
778
00:42:17,701 --> 00:42:18,452
Why?
779
00:42:18,535 --> 00:42:19,328
You weren't wrong.
780
00:42:19,411 --> 00:42:20,454
Neither was she.
781
00:42:20,538 --> 00:42:23,958
Max, someone's gotta say I'm
sorry,
782
00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:27,461
or each day the...the anger gets
buried a little deeper until one
day you find
783
00:42:27,544 --> 00:42:29,797
it's so deep, it'll never come
out.
784
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,258
You don't understand, kid.
785
00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:37,221
Marriages may be made in heaven,
but they're lived in Pittsburgh.
786
00:42:37,304 --> 00:42:40,140
What Gladys and I have ...may
not be perfect,
787
00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:44,270
but it's all we've got ....and
that's okay with me.
788
00:42:44,353 --> 00:42:45,813
Well, if it's so okay, Max.
789
00:42:45,896 --> 00:42:48,732
How come you're sitting here
and...she's sitting over there?
790
00:43:02,746 --> 00:43:04,665
Ellen, I'm sorry.
791
00:43:04,748 --> 00:43:05,541
Wrong.
792
00:43:05,624 --> 00:43:06,458
Wrong?
793
00:43:06,542 --> 00:43:07,626
I'm sorry.
794
00:43:50,919 --> 00:43:52,379
Gladys...
795
00:43:55,341 --> 00:43:58,969
I'm...um...I'm sorry.
796
00:44:02,222 --> 00:44:07,770
Oh, Max, you haven't said I'm
sorry in...in twenty-five years.
797
00:44:11,982 --> 00:44:14,568
I'm sorry for that, too.
798
00:44:14,651 --> 00:44:17,029
Oh, Max....
799
00:44:31,293 --> 00:44:34,296
Listen, Sheila....I have to get
this off your chest.
800
00:44:34,380 --> 00:44:36,548
I mean off my chest.
801
00:44:36,632 --> 00:44:37,424
It's Bernie's fault.
802
00:44:37,508 --> 00:44:39,134
He gave me the book.
803
00:44:39,218 --> 00:44:41,345
See, beautiful girls don't go
for me.
804
00:44:41,428 --> 00:44:43,597
But you're different.
805
00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:45,933
I don't mean that you're not
beautiful,
806
00:44:46,016 --> 00:44:52,439
you are, to me anyway.What I mean
is, Sheila, that, if you were my
807
00:44:52,523 --> 00:44:58,821
girl.I'd be so proud.I'd climb
the highest mountain and I'd
yell.
808
00:44:59,822 --> 00:45:01,281
She's my girl!
809
00:45:01,365 --> 00:45:02,116
She's my girl!
810
00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:03,117
She's my girl!
811
00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:12,751
You didn't get that out of any
book.
812
00:45:19,716 --> 00:45:21,468
Isaac.
813
00:45:24,721 --> 00:45:29,017
Mr.Snead, we know that mortgage
money has been on your mind,
814
00:45:29,101 --> 00:45:33,730
and so the crew got together and
they decided to give you this.
815
00:45:33,814 --> 00:45:34,731
What's this?
816
00:45:34,815 --> 00:45:37,943
That's the money from the ship's
Emergency Fund.
817
00:45:38,026 --> 00:45:42,197
We use that....when one of us is
in trouble.
818
00:45:43,407 --> 00:45:44,950
Why are you giving it to me?
819
00:45:45,033 --> 00:45:49,079
Well, like Isaac said when one
of our family is in trouble.
820
00:45:49,163 --> 00:45:51,039
Family?
821
00:45:51,123 --> 00:45:54,668
You'd consider me family after
what I've done to you?
822
00:45:54,751 --> 00:45:55,836
After I lied to you?
823
00:45:55,919 --> 00:45:58,505
After I cheated you?
824
00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:02,968
Being part of a family means
knowing how to forgive, too.
825
00:46:04,928 --> 00:46:05,721
And here we are.
826
00:46:05,804 --> 00:46:09,683
Back where we started.
827
00:46:14,646 --> 00:46:16,690
How lucky can one man get.
828
00:46:16,773 --> 00:46:20,194
I've got two families.
829
00:46:41,965 --> 00:46:43,717
Scott and I have been talking it
over.
830
00:46:43,800 --> 00:46:46,053
What do you say we all spend our
vacation together next year?
831
00:46:46,136 --> 00:46:47,137
I think it's a wonderful idea.
832
00:46:47,221 --> 00:46:48,430
Yeah, we could go to Rome.
833
00:46:48,514 --> 00:46:49,556
We could go to Aspen.
834
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:50,516
Rome?
835
00:46:50,599 --> 00:46:51,350
Aspen?
836
00:46:51,433 --> 00:46:52,726
We were thinking about another
cruise.
837
00:46:52,809 --> 00:46:54,728
Oh, well, if you insist.
838
00:46:54,811 --> 00:46:57,397
If I'm forced to.
839
00:46:57,481 --> 00:46:58,273
She's engaged?
840
00:46:58,357 --> 00:47:00,234
How could that be?
841
00:47:00,317 --> 00:47:01,276
A thousand to one shot.
842
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:02,903
Oh, she doesn't know what she's
doing.
843
00:47:02,986 --> 00:47:03,737
She's an innocent.
844
00:47:03,820 --> 00:47:06,907
Another thousand to one shot.
845
00:47:06,990 --> 00:47:11,870
Herb, be happy that she found
someone to love her for what she
is.
846
00:47:11,954 --> 00:47:13,247
You're right.
847
00:47:13,330 --> 00:47:14,081
Daddy!
848
00:47:14,164 --> 00:47:14,998
Sheila!
849
00:47:15,082 --> 00:47:16,875
Honey...oh...
850
00:47:16,959 --> 00:47:17,960
This is Howard.
851
00:47:18,043 --> 00:47:23,131
Hello....I'd know that walk
anywhere.
852
00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:26,426
You're Miss America.
853
00:47:26,510 --> 00:47:30,138
Darling, you don't need this
anymore.
854
00:47:37,145 --> 00:47:40,148
All ashore who's going ashore.
855
00:47:49,366 --> 00:47:50,742
Merrill, what the hell have you
done?!!
856
00:47:50,826 --> 00:47:52,160
Done?
857
00:47:52,244 --> 00:47:56,623
Herb, they're made for each
other.
858
00:47:58,875 --> 00:48:01,753
Well, I'm certainly gonna miss
you guys on my one day off.
859
00:48:01,837 --> 00:48:02,838
No kidding?
860
00:48:02,921 --> 00:48:03,714
We're not gonna miss you.
861
00:48:03,797 --> 00:48:04,590
Hey...hi...
862
00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:05,507
Hi.
863
00:48:05,591 --> 00:48:07,509
I'll remember this cruise as
long as I live.
864
00:48:07,593 --> 00:48:09,928
Ah, we're glad you enjoyed
yourself.
865
00:48:10,012 --> 00:48:10,804
Please, come back again.
866
00:48:10,887 --> 00:48:11,722
You bet we will.
867
00:48:11,805 --> 00:48:13,265
I can't wait to meet my
grandchildren again.
868
00:48:13,348 --> 00:48:15,517
Gopher, I'll pay that money
back.
869
00:48:15,601 --> 00:48:17,144
Every penny of it somehow.
870
00:48:17,227 --> 00:48:18,103
You take your time.
871
00:48:18,186 --> 00:48:20,147
At least this way you won't lose
your house.
872
00:48:20,230 --> 00:48:21,982
But I don't want to lose my
friends either.
873
00:48:22,065 --> 00:48:24,818
Gopher, is he still trying to
collect gambling debts from you?
874
00:48:24,901 --> 00:48:25,694
Well...
875
00:48:25,777 --> 00:48:26,445
Well, forget it.
876
00:48:26,528 --> 00:48:30,449
I'll pay Wendel the five
dollars.
877
00:48:30,532 --> 00:48:31,658
Should we get a cab here now?
878
00:48:31,742 --> 00:48:34,328
Yes.
879
00:48:34,411 --> 00:48:35,412
Bye bye.
61990
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